Dr. James MacKenzie was about to do his recording of the latest session. It had been a very stressful session but one very much needed.

Before he started the recorder he looked into his folder yet again. He always noted important points on a sheet of paper: Session SG-1 268-003 – Col. Jonathan O'Neill

The Colonel was sitting in front of him on a chair, looking to the ground. He still wasn't comfortable with him even after all these sessions and personal interactions.

James tried to look as friendly as possible. He actually enjoyed the Colonel as a person as he had many valuable traits he himself didn't seem to be aware of. And he wanted to work with him to prize it out.

He remembered being very surprised when the Colonel knocked on his door. This meant something terrible was going on inside of him. And James eager to find out what it was.

"What can I do for you, Colonel?" he asked with a welcoming voice. In front of him on is desk his board was placed, a pen ready in his hands.

Jack swallowed visibly. James knew that the Colonel still had problems to voice his problems and emotions. With a friendly look in his eyes he encouraged the Colonel to start.

"It thought I had it under control."

James knew immediately of what the Colonel was speaking of. He made notes on his board. The pen scratched audibly over the surface of the paper. Jack hesitated and followed the movement of the pen with his eyes. James noticed. "We can record the session if you want, Colonel."

Jack shook his head. It wasn't necessary.

When James was done he waved the Colonel to continue.

While the Colonel described his latest situation on their first mission after the incident James just listened. He didn't want to interrupt him with his writings. He only watched the Colonel while he spoke. He analyzed his body language, the way he massaged his hands, the movement of his eyes. He avoided looking straight into James's eyes. All signs that Jack was really uncomfortable in this very situation. It was obvious he didn't like the situation back then and he didn't like talking about it either.

After he finished the silence between them was deafening. No one spoke a word.

James was surprised about the way the Colonel had described everything. Most surprised he was about the fact that he spoke about his emotion as well. This was something the Colonel normally didn't do and it had always been his job to specifically ask for them. That the Colonel was willingly telling him about it meant that he as well was shocked about them.

"Why did you enjoy inflicting pain to this man?"

Almost immediately Jack's gaze shifted away. He was thinking for a short moment.

"Because I felt like I was paying her back."

By 'her' he meant Samantha Carter. So much was obvious.

James didn't need to ask what the Colonel meant with this statement. In his first session it had become clear to him that Jack was eaten up inside by the fact that he hadn't been able to protect her. From his nature the Colonel was a really affectionate person that very much valued the people around him. Thus he valued every member of SG-1 and wanted to do everything in his power to have them safe individually.

That he had failed so miserably with his 2IC was like a trauma to his personality. And that in his eyes 'personal failure' had has this dramatic and traumatic consequence was a terrible strike to his mind.

"So you still feel like you should pay her back for what happened" James concluded and wrote this sentence onto the paper.

So the Colonel still felt guilty about the whole incident. That he hadn't been able to protect her with all his power. He felt like he was the cause the team was in this dire situation of distrust and personal problems. For he had failed the whole team.

"This is a problem I cannot fix for you" James said with honesty. He saw surprise written all over Jack's face. And a hint of desperation. "This is a problem you need to address with a different person. And you know who I mean, Colonel."

This was the psychological certificate that Jack now held in his hands.

It wasn't either positive or negative. It was neutral. Thus he could arrange the outcome, being positive or negative, the way Jack himself wanted. He was grateful to the Doc. He would make it a positive outcome.

As for the medical advice Dr. MacKenzie had stated that it was for the best to have a heart to heart talk with Carter. He knew it was for the best but he still wasn't able to address his feelings about the incident in front of her.

He somehow got the feeling that Carter was actually getting fine about everything. And he himself was only getting worse with every day coming.

He just couldn't forgive himself about the incident. It was a whole different thing to process the situation and work on ways to cope with it. He wasn't saying it was an easy task as it normally meant to relive every emotion once again and he didn't want to know how Carter was feeling at these moments. But it was a lot harder to get rid of the feeling to want to turn back the time and do everything different. He felt like he failed her in every way possible and he just couldn't do anything about it. He could talk about his feelings all he wanted to, he just couldn't get rid of the fact that he could change the situation anymore.

This much he had figured out and with the help of Dr. MacKenzie he found the only way for him to heal: she must allow him to accept his failure.

He saved the report he had already written and brought his PC to standby. Then he went for her lab.

He was glad he didn't meet anyone of the team. He was surprised that he himself actually seemed to be the weakest link of the group.

And he wasn't even the victim.

Of course Teal'c dealt well with the whole situation. Jack was sure this wasn't the first time the Jaffa was confronted with the situation. He was coming from a very harsh and brutal military background and maybe lived through similar situations before. Jack didn't really know about the role of the Jaffa women but he thought about their civilization of more male dominated.

What Jack really surprised was the fact that Daniel was doing fairly fine as well. The archaeologist was normally more of the emotional side and thus Jack had feared for him the most. He had the most 'brother-sister-relationship' with her out of all three of them for him being civil and not restricted by any kind of military rules. He didn't know what the Doc did with Daniel but it seemed to work perfectly. Maybe it was the fact that Daniel wasn't the CO of the team and somewhat had him to blame for failing as the leader and not being protective enough. Jack could live with it as long it was helping Daniel. But if this was the case he really needed to address it one day or another or it will heavily influence their relationship.

Because he had been thinking this much he didn't really notice that he was already standing in front of her lab.

He was nervous.

A deep breath and he rounded the corner.

Of course she was there. And of course she was doing yet another science project he didn't want to understand.

He knew that Carter was a very valuable scientist, maybe the most valuable on earth, but he really needed to remind her to get herself a life. She was working right into burnout this way.

She was facing the door and was on her feet in an instant. "Sir."

Jack knew that military code was important but sometimes he really hated it. He sometimes really had it up to here with all the hierarchy. And this was such a moment.

"Oh come on, be at ease" he said somewhat pissed. Carter relaxed but looked like she had accidentally done something wrong. "Sorry" he just said.

It was already late. Jack was surprised she was still awake after the events of today. But he of course knew his 2IC and her 'science genes' and he knew that she wasn't the person to go to bed when there was work unfinished. And as the head scientist of the SGC she always had work.

And for the last weeks she seemed quite happy about this fact. As she was deliberately skipping sleep.

She looked at him with her bright blue eyes. Expectations. It wasn't normal for Jack to come to her at this late hour.

But after the incident today it shouldn't be this unclear to her why he was here. She was more than clever enough.

"How was the session with Dr. MacKenzie?" she asked him. Of course she knew.

"It was fine" Jack said. He didn't want to go into detail about it. His motive was something different. And the more he waited the more it was likely he wouldn't do it. "He gave me somewhat of a homework."

"A homework, Sir?" Carter remarked in disbelief. She knew that he would never do such a thing as 'homework'. She smiled at him. "And I shall do it for you then?"

"What do you think me, Carter" Jack jokily said with played anger. The atmosphere was becoming very light between them. A good condition for their upcoming topic.

As she knew it meant as a joke she smiled back at him. Her smile was as bright as the sun.

"No Carter, but you can actually help me with it."

"I can?"

"Actually it is very much required for you to do it with me."

This led Carter to make a very skeptical expression. However Jack meant to see a hint of uncertainty and nervousness. She wasn't stupid and when there was a task by a psychiatrist she knew exactly what this was coming down to.

When she didn't say anything Jack just took the initiative.

"You know Carter, about today – ." He hesitated.

Of course it was about this topic. Carter started to look more and more uneasy. So she was still very sensitive about it. Jack had thought this much.

"It was a hard day" she simply stated. Jack was grateful to her that she was enacting with him and was not just having him doing all the talk. This would make it a lot easier as the atmosphere was still light enough between them.

"I didn't really know why this had happened today" he started. Such a lie!

"No, I know why this happened!" he shouted. He shouted at himself. Still Carter flinched a little. "You see Carter, I still have the feeling of this massive failure regarding you."

"A failure regarding me?"

Jack nodded and locked eyes with her. It was serious situation between them. Even bystanders could feel this.

"I couldn't protect you back then."

It was out.

Finally!

Silence between them.

Jack felt somewhat relieved from a heavy burden but now there was this statement standing in between them. He made the start, she needed to react. The situation was strained to the utmost. He could count each beat of his heart.

She didn't answer.

Jack felt like he made the biggest mistake in his life. He shouldn't have said anything! Now their relationship was broken and on a point with no return.

She cleared her throat. She knew she was to answer him. "It was bound to happen one day" she stated with a clear voice. Neither waver nor any signs of sadness. It was a strong and firm voice, full of awareness and pride.

"It should have never happened" Jack whispered in a low voice. More to himself.

"And yet it did" Carter said with controlled emotions.

Before he could reply to her and voice his desperation that he should have been able to protect her that day, it was Carter that did the thing he had waited for so long.

"It wasn't your fault, Jack."

The moment she said these words something in his heart burst into pieces. He felt like his heart was free from the invisible chains that had been around since that day. The chains he didn't even know had been there in the first place. He felt his heart beat with so much more power and freedom. Suddenly his lungs were able to draw in a lot of more air than they had been the last few weeks. A heavy weight fell off his shoulders. It was the first time in a long time he actually felt freed.

When he looked at Carter he could see the tears in her eyes. Why was she sad? Was she sad about the incident? Or was she actually sad for him?

He smiled at her. She smiled back at him. A tear fell from her eyes and was slowly running down her cheek.

No, she wasn't sad for him.

She was happy for him that he was finally free from his burden.

"Thank you, Sam."

General Hammond was still holding the folder with the latest report of SG-1.

Daniel and Teal'c had already informed him about the incident. They hadn't been present and couldn't give a full testimony of the situation but had been able to describe most of the situation.

Still they recommended having the Colonel and the Major to voice their statements personally about the incident.

Once again he read the last sentence of Jack's report.

It felt like a conclusion. And a very positive one. He smiled at the phrasing. He must talk to the Colonel yet again about the way of writing a proper mission report.

He would have SG-1 remain on base a little longer and have them all work on their personal problems. Dr. MacKenzie was to give a fully report about everyone for sure. But there was really no need to disband this team. This team of formidable people.

"Most of the personal problems have been cleared within the team. For the next mission the team is 100% good and ready to go."