Shortly after Dr Peterson advised that Liv was well enough to be discharged, Nurse Harris returned to the room with discharge paperwork, which she talked her through. Liv read and signed the paperwork and handed it back to the nurse with thanks.
"I also brought you some pamphlets on anaemia during pregnancy" Nurse Harris explained, handing Liv three pamphlets. "Your OB will be able to answer any questions you have" she assured her kindly. Liv nodded.
"Thank you" Liv responded gratefully. The nurse offered her a comforting smile.
"I just need to remove your IV and then you're good to go" she advised.
Rafa stood a few feet away and watched as the nurse removed Liv's IV, his eyes drifting towards her inner-arm, which was already starting to bruise. The purpling bruise seemed darker against her pale skin, and he found himself feeling very unsettled.
"Do either of you have any questions?" Nurse Harris asked, drawing Rafa from her thoughts.
"No, thank you" Liv said politely, before turning towards Rafa.
"Is there any particular food which could help with the anaemia?" Rafa asked. Nurse Harris nodded.
"Food high in iron would be beneficial" Nurse Harris explained. "Red meat would be the obvious choice, though it must be cooked properly-"
"I can't" Liv said quietly, prompting Rafa to turn towards her. "The smell of meat cooking..." she continued, shaking her head and trying to ignore the nausea she felt just at the memory. "It's the one thing I can't handle" she added. Rafa nodded sympathetically.
"There are other foods which are high in iron, details are in the pamphlets" Nurse Harris explained. "It would be helpful to incorporate them into your diet as much as possible" she advised. Liv nodded in response, as she continued to try to ignore the rising feeling of nausea.
"Thank you, Nurse Harris" Rafa said politely, sensing Liv wanted this particular conversation to end.
Nurse Harris exchanged goodbyes with Liv and Rafa and then quietly left the room.
As Nurse Harris closed the door behind her, Liv pushed her bedsheets aside and turned her body towards the door, planting her feet on the floor and standing. As she did so she felt suddenly rather dizzy, and she leaned back against the bed, bracing herself against the mattress. She lowered her head and took in a slow, deep breath.
Rafa walked quickly towards her, placing his hands on her waist to steady her and encouraging her back towards the bed. Liv placed her hands on his arms instinctively and looked up at him, their faces just inches apart. He was watching her with a worried expression.
"Liv, are you sure you're feeling well enough to go home?" Rafa asked with concern. "Perhaps you should stay here for just one night-"
"That's not necessary, I'm fine" Liv said gently, as she tried to reassure him. She could tell by his expression that her attempts were unsuccessful.
"You're not fine, Liv" Rafa said cautiously. "You're eighteen weeks pregnant, pale and anaemic" he continued, "and you collapsed in my office less than two hours ago" reminded her. "You may feel well enough to go home, and if that's what you want then I will support you" he quickly assured her. "But please don't tell me that you're fine" he added, worry and sadness present in his voice. She knew he was concerned about her, and the panic in his eyes betrayed the calmness he had tried to adopt.
Liv stared at Rafa for a moment, before lowering her eyes from his and nodding slowly. She swallowed hard and stepped back, before sitting on the edge of the bed. Rafa lowered his hands from hers and sat beside her.
"I accept that I am not fine" Liv said slowly, meeting Rafa's gaze as she spoke. "But I wouldn't leave the hospital if I thought for a moment that I wasn't well enough too" she assured him. "I will do exactly what the doctor has told me to" she continued. "I just want to go home, have a bath, and put something on that doesn't make a noise when I move" she added lightly, tugging at her hospital gown as she spoke. A small half-smile crept upon Rafa's lips. "And you promised me take-out" she reminded him.
"I did" Rafa responded, nodding as he spoke. He sighed lightly in defeat. "You will tell me if we need to come back, won't you?" he asked gently. Liv nodded in response.
"Of course, Rafa" she assured him. Rafa stared at Liv for a moment before nodding.
"I'll wait outside whilst you get dressed" Rafa said chivalrously, rising to his feet as he spoke.
Rafa walked across the room and picked up her clothes and shoes, which had been laid out on a nearby chair. He picked up her handbag and then carried the items towards her, placing them neatly on the bed.
"Thank you" Liv said sincerely, as Rafa looked down at her once more.
"I'll be right outside, okay?" he replied gently. "Just call out if you need anything" he encouraged. She nodded in agreement and he offered her a smile, before turning on the spot, lifting his jacket off the back of the chair enroute and heading out of the room.
As Rafa stepped out of Liv's hospital room and closed the door behind him, he removed his phone from his inside pocket and quickly ordered an Uber. He then took a few steps and then stood with his back against the wall, leaning against it heavily. He placed his hand over his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose, as the calmness and strength he had adopted for Liv slowly began to fracture. Memories of their conversation flooded him, her tearful eyes, her sincere remorse and guilt, her genuine apologies. He had never seen her so vulnerable, so afraid, not even after her ordeal at the hands of William Lewis. The look on her face when she regained consciousness and saw him sitting next to her would be something he would remember for the rest of his life. She looked utterly terrified, her expression causing his chest to tighten. He was sure his heart had stopped for a moment. Liv was one of the strongest women he had ever known, and he knew how she hated appearing vulnerable or upset or uncertain in front of other people. The fact she allowed herself to be vulnerable in his presence in the past, and had appeared to seek his counsel and comfort, had meant more to him than he could ever express. But seeing her tonight, so unwell and afraid, caused something deep within him to shatter. The only thing that troubled him more than how upset and worried Liv was was the fact that she seemed to genuinely think he would be angry with her.
Rafa considered their conversation carefully, recalling the exchange verbatim, as he leaned against the hospital wall. She had told him on several occasions that he had every right to be angry with her, and he had assured her each time that he was not, and he had meant it. He was honest when he told her he was confused, concerned and hurt that she hadn't told him, but he wasn't angry. He was certainly disappointed, which he had not told her, not wishing to upset her further. But even before she explained why she had concealed her pregnancy from him he had not been angry; and when she did explain, he understood completely. Whilst he wished she had told him, he understood why she had not, and he believed her when she told him why. There was no doubt in his mind that she was being sincere when she told him she was trying to protect him; her reasons for doing so were logical, reasonable and perfectly in line with her character. Whilst he knew it would be understandable if he was angry with her, he genuinely wasn't, not even slightly. He was worried about her and their unborn baby, and was feeling acutely aware of how far outside of his comfort zone and area of expertise he was at present. He knew very little about pregnancy and even less about babies and fatherhood, and as an organised man he felt overwhelmed by his ignorance. He took in a deep breath and tried to force down his concerns about his ignorance, and focus on what he knew with confidence to be true: that Liv was sick and vulnerable and she needed his support. He always felt protective towards her, and now he felt even more so; he wanted to be near her, close to her, he wanted to look after her. And he was grateful that she was permitting him to do so. He knew how hard it was for her to admit that she needed it.
Rafa was drawn from his thoughts by the sound of the door next to him opening, prompting him to turn towards it instinctively as Liv stepped out into the corridor. He offered her a small smile and she returned it.
"Hey" Rafa said softly, "you okay?" he asked, his eyes holding her gaze as he spoke.
"I'm okay" Liv assured him, adjusting her bag strap over her shoulder as she spoke. Rafa nodded slowly in response, as he tried to ignore his concern about how incredibly pale she was.
"Let's get you home" Rafa responded, placing his hand on her lower back and guided her down the corridor.
Liv felt warmth from Rafa's hand spread across her body, her heart pounding at the sensation. They paused as the reached the elevator, waiting for a few moments in a comfortable silence.
"Rafa" Liv said quietly, as the elevator came to a stop at their floor. He turned towards her and met her gaze.
"Yeah?" he replied softly. She hesitated for a moment, before inhaling sharply.
"Thank you" she responded quietly, her voice imbued with emotion and sincerity.
Before Rafa could respond, the elevator doors opened and two doctors stepped out, enabling Liv and Rafa to enter. He lowered his hand from Liv's back and she stepped in first, walking to the back of the elevator and waiting until he joined her. As he stood beside her and selected the button for the ground floor, Liv found herself feeling dizzy once more. She leaned towards him slightly, before tentatively linking her right arm through his. Rafa turned towards her, drawing her arm closer to him and encouraging her to lean against him. She did so immediately, placing her left hand on his lower arm, and rested her head against his shoulder before closing her eyes.
"You okay?" Rafa asked gently as the elevator descended. Liv wanted to tell him she was fine but she knew he wouldn't believe her, and due to recent events she couldn't bring herself to lie to him again.
"I'm just a little dizzy" Liv confided. "The elevator isn't helping" she added, trying to ignore how unstable she felt as she let out a long, calming breath. Rafa placed his hand over hers and squeezed it.
"We're almost there" Rafa soothed. "Hold on" he encouraged.
As the elevator came to a halt Liv slowly opened her eyes, and she and Rafa walked slowly into the corridor and towards the exit.
"That's our car, right there, okay?" Rafa explained, nodding towards a black Uber which was parked outside the front of the hospital.
"Okay" Liv replied tiredly. "Thank you" she added.
Rafa led Liv to the car and opened the back door, greeting the driver politely and then turning towards Liv, taking her bag from her shoulder and holding her hand as she got into the car. He then walked around it and opened the opposite door, before easing himself into the backseat beside her. He put her handbag in the footwell and put on his seatbelt as the car began to cruise through the city. Sensing his concern, Liv turned towards him.
"Do you feel better now you're off your feet?" Rafa asked hopefully.
"I do" Liv confirmed. She held his gaze for a moment, before lowering her eyes from his, and hesitating before continuing. She looked up and met his gaze, his eyes glistening in the dusk city light. "I haven't..." she began, trailing off slightly as she struggled to speak the words out loud. "I haven't really been eating much this past week" she admitted. "I've tried, I just... I've been so worried about the appointment on Monday that I can't, and... and I know I need to, but I..."
"It's okay" Rafa soothed, his hand finding hers in the darkness and squeezing it gently. "I know it's hard, but it's really important that you eat, especially as you're anaemic" he continued softly.
"I know" Liv said quietly, nodding sadly as she spoke. "I am trying-"
"I know you are" Rafa responded warmly. Liv offered him a sad smile. "Is there anything you think you could eat?" he asked. Liv considered his question for less than a moment.
"How would you feel about Chinese?" she asked hopefully.
"Great, if you felt you could eat it" he replied lightly. Liv smiled in response, her tired eyes lighting up. "Chinese it is" he added.
"Thank you, Rafa" she responded sincerely, before leaning back against the leather seats and closing her eyes slowly.
"Is there anything in particular you have wanted to eat?" Rafa asked slowly, the curiosity in his tone prompting Liv to open her eyes and turn her head towards him.
"Salted snacks, like pretzels or saltines" Liv responded. "I think I'm two packs away from being a major shareholder" she confided. Rafa smiled in response. "And milk chocolate" she added, as she considered his question further. "And broccoli, actually" she added, confusion present in her tone.
"Broccoli?" Rafa asked, surprise present in his voice. Liv smiled.
"And lemons" she added. "Anything with lemon. The stronger the better" she added. "I drank some of Noah's lemon squash neat the other morning" she confided. "And one night I cut a lemon in half and just bit into it, it was delicious" she added, savouring the memory.
"Salt, lemons and broccoli, got it" Rafa responded.
"And chocolate" Liv reminded him.
"Of course. How could I forget?" he asked lightly.
Liv smiled and turned towards him, her eyes meeting his for the briefest of moments as he smiled back at her. Rafa watched as her smile slowly faded, and eyes lost their shine, softening with sadness. He squeezed her hand and held her gaze. It was clear that discussing the pregnancy, or anything relating to it, was difficult for her, and he understood why.
"I know" he assured her. Liv swallowed thickly and nodded, before turning away from him and gazing out of the window, her hand still entwined with his.
After arriving at the courthouse a short while later, Rafa thanked the driver and picked up Liv's bag, stepping out of the car and heading towards her side. She opened her door and stepped out before he reached her, and he was relieved when she accepted his hand, before linking her arm through his again as she guided him towards her car.
After unlocking the car and easing herself into the passenger seat, Liv turned towards Rafa, who stood beside her.
"I'll just get my bag from my office, I'll be right back, okay?" he said gently. Liv nodded and fastened her seatbelt, before leaning back against the seat and closing her eyes.
A few minutes later Liv heard the sound of familiar footsteps, prompting her to open her eyes as Rafa approached the car. He opened the back door and placed his bag on the back seat before closing the back door, opening the driver's side door and easing himself into the seat. Liv turned towards him and was about to speak, when he removed something from his inside pocket and handed it to her.
"Salted caramel chocolate" he informed her, handing the candy bar to her. "It was the closest thing I could find in the vending machine" he informed her.
Liv accepted the candy bar and leaned back in her seat, holding the tips of the wrapper in her fingertips. She heard Rafa put on his seatbelt and turn the key in the ignition.
"Thank you, Rafa" she responded, touched by the gesture. Rafa smiled softly.
"I thought it might tide you over until our banquet arrives" he explained, as he drove out of the parking lot.
"Banquet?" she asked.
"Yup" he confirmed, as he turned onto the main road and continued the journey.
Liv smiled softly and opened the candy bar, consuming it in fewer bites than she cared to admit. She felt an almost instant sugar rush, which she presumed was Rafa's intention. She then leaned back against the seat, sleepy and sated, as they made their way through the city.
By the time they arrived at Liv's apartment, Liv felt utterly exhausted, and wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and sleep. As she stepped out of the car and into the cold night air, Rafa stepped beside her, wrapping his arm around her lower back and guiding her towards the elevator. She found herself leaning into his touch, the familiarity of his scent and body a balm for her aching mind and body. Despite the complexity of their current predicament, being in Rafa's company was as easy as it had been before. There was no awkwardness or uncertainty, only openness and mutual respect. Although it was clear he did not agree with her decision to keep the news of her pregnancy from him, he assured her that he understood, and she believed him. She also believed him when he told her on more than one occasion that he was not angry. The first time he told her she suspected he was simply being too much of a gentleman to yell at her whilst she was in a hospital bed, but by the second time she believed him completely. Although she was relieved by this, she found herself also feeling sad by it, her guilt increasing tenfold. A not insignificant part of her felt that he should be angry at her – furious, even. But he was pragmatic and reasonable almost to a fault.
As Liv unlocked her front door and led Rafa inside, she felt anxiety begin to pool deep within her belly. She placed her handbag on the coffee table and turned towards him, as the reality of the situation away from the hospital slowly began to hit her. Rafa placed his overnight bag and laptop bag down upon the living room floor, rising up and looking towards Liv, who was watching him with a worried expression. He met her gaze and waited patiently for her to speak.
"Rafa" Liv began, breaking off slightly as she spoke. "I am very grateful for everything you have done for me tonight. And for being so understanding" she said sincerely. "But I don't want you to feel obligated to stay-"
"I don't feel obligated" Rafa said gently, taking a step towards her as he spoke. "And I want to stay" he assured her, resisting the urge to reach out and touch her. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable-"
"You don't" Liv responded quickly. "You aren't" she added, her inability to express herself frustrating her. "I'm sorry, I'm tired-" she breathed, shaking her head.
"Hey" Rafa said softly, taking another step towards her and placing a comforting hand on her upper arm. "You have nothing to apologise for" he assured her. "In fact, I am banning the word 'sorry' for the rest of the night. And tomorrow" he stated. Liv scoffed and met his gaze with worried eyes.
"We both know that's not true" Liv said quietly, swallowing thickly as she looked up at him. "You've been very understanding, Rafa, more than I deserve" she continued. "But I do owe you an apology" she stated with conviction. "I was trying to do the right thing, and I had the best of intentions, but I still owe you an apology" she advised. "I really am sorry" she stated.
Rafa watched Liv with kind eyes and nodded. It was clear she was feeling guilty, and whilst he understood the reason why and was grateful for her apology, he did not believe one was owed. But he knew that accepting it was the only way they could move forward.
"I know you are" Rafa said kindly, stroking her arm gently as he spoke. "I forgive you" he said simply. "I forgave you the moment I learned you were pregnant" he added. "Because I knew there would be a reason you didn't tell me, and there was" he continued. Liv swallowed hard and released a slow breath. "But if you really want to make it up to me..."
"Yes?" Liv asked.
"You can tell me what you want for dinner, and then go and relax in a hot bath" Rafa stated. Liv stared at him for a few moments as she processed his words. Liv considered continuing the discussion but felt too physically and emotionally exhausted to do so. But she intended to follow up on it later.
"I would love a vegetable curry and rice" Liv advised. "Thank you" she added. Rafa nodded in response.
"You're welcome" Rafa responded, removing his phone from his inner pocket. "I'll be right in here if you need anything" he advised. Liv nodded in response and thanked him quietly. She turned and was about to head towards her bedroom when he called her name. "Liv" he said gently, prompting her to turn towards him. "Could you keep the bathroom door unlocked?" he asked gently. Liv stared at him for a moment as realisation dawned upon her.
"Of course" she said quietly, before turning on the spot and walking towards her bedroom.
After calling a local Chinese restaurant and placing an order for take-out, Rafa sat on Liv's sofa and read through some of his work emails. He responded to a couple and flagged three more, before finding himself unable to concentrate on the missives at all. He read a paragraph three times and still couldn't process it, as he was distracted by current events.
Rafa replayed the conversation he and Liv had about the amniocentesis over in his mind, and then quickly found himself Googling the risks of chromosomal abnormalities in babies with mothers in their late forties. He read through several brief articles, some longer ones, and various web pages with reputable sources. His mind was ablaze with risks and statistics, maternal and infant mortality rates, potential complications during pregnancy and delivery for older mothers, and many other similar subjects. Each article or source he read seemed more foreboding than the last, and he oscillated between regretting having started his research and wanting to conduct more. In the end, his curiosity and need for further information on a subject he knew very little about overrode his desire to remain ignorant, and he read several articles about anaemia during pregnancy. The fact that the condition was not uncommon and could be treated was the closest thing he had read to a positive article in some time. He then Googled "healthy babies pregnancy mothers 40s" and found various medical sites and social media pages describing the positive experiences of women who had given birth to healthy babies in their mid-to-late forties. His sense of hope was renewed, and quickly began searching for experienced OB-GYNs who specialised in pregnant mothers in their late forties, in New York and surrounding states. He was screen-shotting the information he found so far when he was distracted by a knock at the door.
Rafa put his phone on the table and walked calmly towards the door, thanking the delivery man and providing him with a tip, as he accepted two full bags of take-out. He had just finished laying out the food on the coffee table, which he also laid with plates and cutlery, when he heard Liv emerge from the bathroom.
Rafa turned towards the sound of Liv's footsteps and looked up at her, his eyes meeting her gaze. Her skin was bright and shone, her hair lightly damp and mussed from her bath. She was wearing midnight blue cotton pyjamas with wide-legged pants. The shirt, which he suspected had once been just as loose, fell neatly over her modest belly, revealing the round swell. Rafa found his gaze drifting towards her belly, his eyes tracing the outline of it against her shirt. Liv noticed his gaze and suddenly felt rather anxious. Rafa looked up and found her watching him with worried eyes.
"I'm sorry" Rafa apologised, internally chastising himself for his thoughtlessness. "I didn't mean to stare."
"You don't have anything to apologise for, Rafa" Liv assured him, sincerity and sadness present in her tone, as she took a step towards him. "Except for ordering enough food for six people" she said, shocked, as she looked from the table to his face.
"I thought I might be able to tempt you with some other dishes" Rafa said simply, as Liv walked into the living room and studied the dishes before her. They smelled amazing, and she found her mouth watering.
Rafa was relieved to watch as Liv sat down on the couch, picked up a plate, and began to help herself to rice, curry and various other dishes. He sat down beside her and picked up his own plate, adding egg fried rice, crispy won ton, and vegetable curry.
As Liv took her first bite of curry and rice, she found herself experiencing a hunger she had not felt in some time. She ate four mouthfuls of food before looking at Rafa's plate, and frowning in confusion. She then turned her attentions back towards the food on the table. Rafa noticed her looking perplexed, and quickly swallowed his mouthful of food.
"Is everything alright?" Rafa asked. Liv turned towards him with a confused expression.
"You usually have crispy beef, or duck" Liv said simply. Rafa nodded slowly. "Why didn't you-?" before Liv could finish the question, the answer appeared in the forefront of her mind. She sighed lightly and met his gaze. "You didn't order any dishes with meat" she said simply. "Is that because of what I said in the hospital? About not being able to stand the smell of cooked meat?" she asked. Rafa hesitated.
"Yes" he replied simply, as he took another mouthful. Liv put her fork down on her plate and looked up at him with a guilty and slightly embarrassed expression.
"Rafa, you didn't have to do that" Liv said quietly. "I don't expect you to go without-"
"You just chastised me for the amount of food I bought, neither of us are going without" Rafa countered. "I did promise us a banquet" he stated. "Speaking of" he added, as he reached towards a silver tray Liv had overlooked. "I got you this" he advised, as he handed it to her.
Liv accepted the tray and opened the lid, looking down and finding herself staring at a tray of crispy seaweed.
"It's salty, I thought you might like it" Rafa said simply, speaking between mouthfuls of food. Liv looked up at him with soft eyes. "They didn't have anything with chocolate, and all of the lemon-based dishes involved meat, so that was a no" he added. Liv clenched her jaw and felt tears brim in her eyes. She turned away from him and looked down at the seaweed as she battled to regain her composure. He noticed, of course, before she had a chance to do so. "Liv?" he asked, confusion present in his tone. "You okay?" he asked with concern. Liv swallowed hard and nodded, as Rafa put his plate on the table and edged closer to him. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing" Liv said, forcing a smile as she blinked back the tears. "Thank you."
"Hey" Rafa said softly, taking her hand in his. She stared at their hands for a moment as she calmed herself. "Please don't do that" he asked gently. Liv looked up at him with confusion.
"Thank you?" she asked, perplexed. Rafa held her gaze with a look of conviction and concern.
"Convince yourself that you don't deserve the most basic of courtesies" Rafa said quietly. "Or anything else, for that matter" he continued. "I know this is hard, and that you're feeling scared and alone and completely powerless" he added. He felt Liv tense and he squeezed her hand reassuringly. "We don't have to talk about anything you don't want to talk about" he assured her, knowing that her pregnancy was a difficult subject, especially given her understandable anxiety about the impending amnio results. "But the least we can do – that I can do – is make you as comfortable as possible" he explained. "If the main thing I can do for you right now is find you food that you feel able to eat, then that's what I'll do" he stated simply. "Okay?" he asked softly. Liv nodded tearfully in response.
"Okay" Liv agreed, squeezing Rafa's hand and then releasing it. Rafa picked up his plate and placed it in his lap once more. "For what it's worth, that's not the main thing" she informed him, prompting him to look up at her with patient eyes. "I'm grateful that you're here, Rafa" she said sincerely. Rafa offered her a small smile.
"I'm grateful that you let me in" Rafa responded. Liv's expression softened and she nodded, before picking up her fork and sampling the seaweed.
Over the next half an hour, Liv consumed three plates worth of food and one and a half glasses of water. After finishing the last of the seaweed she placed her plate on the table and drew her legs onto the couch, leaning against the cushions as she faced Rafa, who was watching her with an amused expression.
"That was perfect. Thank you, Rafa" Liv said sleepily, as she closed her eyes and leaned into the cushion.
"You're welcome" Rafa responded, as he dabbed his mouth with a napkin and dropped it onto his plate, before turning his attentions back towards Liv. "It's late, why don't you get some sleep?" he suggested gently. Liv opened her eyes languidly.
"I just need to change the sheets in Noah's room for you" she advised, pushing herself away from the couch and rising to her feet.
"I'll sleep on the couch, I'll be fine. Liv-" he continued, rising to his feet and standing next to her.
"You can't sleep on the couch" Liv countered.
"Of course I can" he assured her. "It's fine" he added quickly, stopping her protests before they continued. She sighed tiredly and nodded. She wanted to argue but she was utterly exhausted.
"I'll get you some blankets and towels" she advised, before heading towards the airing cupboard. She returned a minute or so later with two pillows, the spare double-duvet and some blankets and towels. Rafa thanked her and placed them on the couch, as Liv bent down towards the table and began to gather the plates. "I'll just get this cleaned up and-"
"Liv, it's fine, I'll do it" Rafa countered, placing a hand on her lower back, prompting her to turn towards him.
As Liv turned towards Rafa, the motion of the movement meant that the hand he had placed on her lower back was now on her belly, which appeared bigger now after her heavy dinner. Liv froze, her breath catching in her throat as she felt Rafa's warm hand splayed across the centre of her lower belly. Warmth radiated across her body, and she found herself feeling safe and comforted and sad and afraid in equal measure. As she looked towards him she watched as he looked down at her belly, his eyes softening and a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. She felt suddenly rather choked, and she swallowed thickly.
Rafa cleared his throat and swallowed hard, before slowly removing his hand from her belly.
"I'm sorry, I-" he began, his voice gravelly and heavy with emotion. Before he could finish his sentence, Liv stepped forward and grabbed his hand, placing it on her belly and resting her own over it instinctively. He looked up at her with a surprised expression and she held his gaze.
"Don't be sorry" Liv said quietly, her voice imbued with emotion. "It's fine" she added with a nod, as much to herself as it was to him. "If this is all we are going to have, maybe we should allow ourselves to experience it" she said simply. "Celebrate it" she added breathlessly.
Rafa stared at Liv with emotional eyes and nodded, before looking down at her belly, splaying his fingers across it so he held as much of it as he could against his palm. Liv closed her eyes and inhaled sharply. Feeling Rafa tense in response, Liv pressed his hand more firmly to her belly and looked up to meet his gaze, their faces just inches apart. Neither of them said anything, but they each wore the same expression, their glassy eyes confirming they each understood.
After several minutes had passed, Rafa ran his hand across the side of Liv's belly, before resting it on her hip and gently encouraging her towards her. Liv stepped forward and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her tight, her belly pressed against his own. Liv wrapped her arms across his back and held him closely, resting her head in the crook of his neck as she found herself flooded by his warmth and his scent. He began stroking her hair with his left hand and she nuzzled against him, humming lightly in response. They stood like that for some time, in a perfect and comfortable silence, until Rafa leaned down and kissed her gently on the forehead.
"Liv" Rafa said gently, his breath warm against her head.
"Yeah" Liv responded, as she remained perfectly still, not quite yet ready to open her eyes.
"Go to bed" he said softly. Liv suppressed a laugh and looked up at him, reluctantly opening her eyes as she did so. "You're exhausted" he remarked, stroking some hair from her face as he spoke. "Get some sleep, or I'll have you indicted" he added lightly, hoping to soothe any anxiety or embarrassment she felt with humour. Liv's eyes widened slightly and she scoffed. Her playful expression immediately confirmed that he had succeeded.
"You'll indict me?" she asked incredulously. "For what?"
"Criminal stubbornness in the first" he responded. Liv smiled. As much as she would have loved to have argued with him, she really was exhausted. So she sighed lightly and nodded in response.
"Goodnight, Rafa" she said warmly.
"Goodnight, Liv" he replied, punctuating it with a kiss to her forehead. Liv felt her breath catch in her throat, as warmth and excitement flooded her. "I'll be right out here if you need anything, okay?"
"I'll be fine" she assured him, squeezing his arm reassuringly, before wishing him goodnight once more and heading towards her bedroom.
After tidying up the living room and washing the dishes, Rafa made up his bed on the couch and sat down upon it. He spent the next couple of hours conducting further research relating to Liv's pregnancy, with a particular reference to OB-GYNs in New York and neighbouring states. Shortly after midnight he found his own exhaustion was rendering him unable to conduct further research at present, and he decided to call it a night.
Rafa carried his overnight bag into Liv's bathroom, and changed into a pair of black cotton pyjama pants, which he wore with his white undershirt. He then brushed his teeth and washed his face, before packing his clothes back into his bag neatly, and carrying it into the living room. He then eased himself onto the couch, pulled the duvet over him, and lay back against the pillows.
As Rafa's sleep began, Liv's was starting to end, her peaceful slumber interrupted by one of her now frequent nightmares.
Liv dreamed she was in Rafa's office, with Rafa bound, gagged and tied to his desk chair, in a similar manner that she had been in her own apartment. Liv was standing next to his conference table, held in a vice-like grip by William Lewis, who was holding her own gun against her temple as he taunted Rafa.
"I'm gonna make you watch the next stage of mine and Liv's courtship" he declared proudly, as he placed a hand upon her growing belly.
Liv fought against him and he turned her towards him before pistol-whipping her, the force of the blow causing her to fall to the floor.
Rafa cried out against his gag, and Lewis turned towards him with a gleeful expression.
"And after that, I'm gonna make her watch as I do to you what she did to me" he stated, before turning his attentions towards Liv. "You'd like that, wouldn't you, Liv?" he teased. "Just the three of us" he smiled, before looking down at her belly. "Or should I say, four?" he asked, before standing up straight, raising his foot in the air, and then bringing it down with all his force on her belly.
Liv screamed, the sound of her panicked voice startling her from her sleep, as she sat bolt upright in bed. She was hot, panicked and panting with fear and exertion, as remnants of the nightmare clung to her consciousness, prompting her to put one hand protectively upon her belly. She was so distracted by her stupor that she did not hear Rafa calling her name until he flung open her bedroom door and ran inside, hurrying towards her bed. He reached for the bedside lamp in the unfamiliar room, which he quickly turned on, before easing himself onto the edge of her bed and placing his hands upon her arms.
"Liv?" he asked, panic and confusion present in his voice, as he looked from her face to her belly, and then met her gaze once more. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"
"I'm fine. I'm fine" Liv stammered, rubbing her head and then resting her head in her hand, as embarrassment claimed her quicker than consciousness. "I'm sorry" she breathed.
Upon quickly realising she had experienced a nightmare, Rafa edged closer to her and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close.
"Don't be sorry" Rafa soothed. "You're fine. Everything is fine" he assured her. "Everything is fine."
Rafa could feel Liv's heart pounding against his chest, and he rubbed her back soothingly, desperately trying to calm her. He held her for several minutes until he felt her breathing stabilise, and she leaned slowly back.
"Rafa, I'm so sorry" she said tiredly. "I've been having these vivid nightmares" she said quietly. "It's nothing."
"It's not nothing" Rafa assured her, his voice patient and kind. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"No" Liv responded, shaking her head as she spoke. Rafa watched her closely. She still appeared upset and frightened by whatever had transpired in her nightmare. "It's normal, apparently" she added, in a futile attempt to reassure him. "I'm alright now" she added. Rafa watched her closely for a moment.
"You haven't been sleeping, have you?" he asked softly. Liv swallowed hard and exhaled deeply.
"No" she admitted. "No, I haven't" she added. Rafa rubbed her arm soothingly and nodded in understanding.
"Would you like me to stay with you?" Rafa asked tentatively. "Just until you fall back to sleep?" he asked.
Liv held Rafa's gaze as she considered his offer, the memory of him holding her in his arms, and the safety she felt as a result, convincing her immediately. But she found herself feeling guilty and embarrassed. She nodded gratefully in response.
"I feel like a child-" she whispered sadly.
"No" Rafa protested. "You're not" he assured her. "Is there anything I can get for you?" he asked. Liv smiled softly and shook her head, before planting her hands on her mattress and pushing herself across the bed to make room for him.
Rafa turned off the light and climbed into bed beside her, putting her covers around himself and edging closer to her. He lay on his right side and reached towards her, his left hand finding her shoulder, and encouraging her towards her.
Liv found it easier in the dark, somehow, as she edged closer to Rafa and allowed herself to be held. His left arm drifted down her back, holding her against him, as she snuggled into his chest, placing her right hand on his side, before draping her arm around him. Their legs touched beneath the bedsheets and she inhaled deeply, the scent of him flooding her, as she closed her eyes and fell asleep to the comforting sound of his heartbeat.
Moments after Liv closed her eyes she was asleep once more, falling into a deep, restorative sleep devoid of nightmares or interruptions. Rafa fell asleep a few minutes later, holding Liv closely against him, his chin resting just above her head. It was the best night's sleep either of them had experienced for quite some time.