Intrusive Thoughts
"Speech"
'Thoughts'
-[-
Delt 336 was in Hell. Not literally, but definitely a figurative Hell. His host, a nobody named Zachary Maxwell, would not. Shut. UP! Delt 336 was trying to sleep after a long day of work but his host just kept badgering him, forcing him to toss and turn in his bed. 'Hey, Yeerk. Yeerk. Yeerk boy. Beef Yeerky.'
'WHAT!?' Delta 336 mentally shouted at the aggravating man, only barely restraining from screaming out loud, something that had gotten him noise complaints before. Why couldn't he have a host with a whole house, rather than merely an apartment?
If Zachary was bothered by his anger, his thoughts didn't show it. 'So, you Yeerks evolved to possess others by entering their ears and just kinda… flattening out against their brains right?'
'Considering I'm currently doing so to you, you know damn well that's correct.'
'And you have basically no senses, at all, in your natural state?' The human rambled on.
'Are you going somewhere with this? It's…' A glance at the clock made his night so much worse. '12:15 am. My alarm goes off in just over five hours.'
'First of all, it's my alarm. Just because you're piloting my body doesn't make my shit yours. Anyway, well… how did you find out you could possess others?'
'What.'
Zachary gave the impression of a shrug. 'I mean, you had to have done it by accident right? You're stuck in those Kadabra pools without a host.' He ignored the reflexive correction that they were "Kandrona pools". 'So obviously, the first ever Controller was one of those Gedd falling into your Kadabra pools and a Yeerk just kinda bumped into its ear on accident. How long did it take to figure out what was going on? How many Yeerks died because their host drowned before they could figure out how swimming worked? Then how many died before they figured out they had to return to the pool every three days? Then how did they even explain what happened to their fellow slugs?'
Delt 336 once more found himself considering giving his body a concussion. Surely a few blows to the head would shut his host up for a few hours. He'd been happy when he got his first human host. It finally got him out of a Gedd for starters. That the human was fairly healthy and lived alone (thus meaning he didn't have to put on an act nearly as often as other Controllers) was even better. But then he learned that some humans have things called intrusive thoughts, where they just randomly start pondering something meaningless. Supposedly all humans had them, at least according to other Controllers, but none of the Yeerks he communicated with had them nearly as badly as his host.
'Even if they could explain it, no way anyone believed them. it'd be like if I told my coworkers "Yeah, over the weekend, I was abducted by a race of alien muscle mommies, saved their entire world, became king, and impregnated their entire race. What? No, I don't have any proof! Just trust me, bro!" You understand how bullshit that sounds?'
'I don't know how it happened,' Delt 336 admitted, 'My kind didn't have a writing system until that fool Seerow!'
'So yall passed it down through oral tradition? But not even that since you can't talk. Even proto-humans at least had cave paintings to pass down stories. Though admittedly, we aren't really sure what those stories are any more.' Zachary trailed off for a time, causing hope to bloom in Delt's mind. Maybe he was finally done? 'Have you ever considered what'd happen if Starfire had landed on Themyscira? She'd do well as an Amazon and I bet she'd be an adorable little sister/daughter to Wonder Woman. Not to mention-'
"You're a damn menace!" Delt shouted out loud. He wondered if it was possible to go back to a Gedd host. Almost immediately someone banged on the wall he shared with the adjacent apartment, telling him to shut up.
The human had the audacity to sound offended, 'I'm the menace?! Because I joined your stupid group, none of my fanfics have been updated in a year!'
Another glance at the clock showed it was now 1am. Four and a half hours until he had to get up for work. And his boss definitely wouldn't let him call in sick. 'If you let me sleep through the night FOR ONCE, I will write your damn fanfics for you!'
'Woohoo! Trust me, you update them and I'll let you sleep all you want!' Zachary promised. 'Well, so long as you don't butcher them. Like, if you pair Harry with Ginny or Hermione, I swear to god-' If his host lived in a less restrictive state when it came to gun control, Delt 336 just knew he'd have blown their shared brains out months ago.
-[-
AN: Random idea I saw once. So for those who didn't catch it, this is a quick Animorphs snippet of a Yeerk who really wishes he had a host with a less active brain. Both characters are named at random and I personally picture Zachary Maxwell to be a standard issue white dude (20s-30s, 5'10"-ish, brunette, probably kinda overweight).