A/N: Thank you for you lovely responses to this story so far!
They drove back home in stunned silence. They'd signed the paperwork and assuming everything went as planned, they'd have three kids in the next couple of days.
Before they could bring the children home, they had to have an updated inspection, complete a few additional trainings, and provide updated background checks. Anita told them they might be able to use their existing background checks to expedite the process.
Otherwise, the two extra rooms were both furnished and minimally decorated, though not necessarily age appropriate for all the Padilla children.
Alongside the lingering shock, Deeks felt the first hints of cautious excitement, not to mention, a good amount of terror. Maybe he was terrible for even thinking of it right now, but he'd finally get a chance to be a dad. Even if it for just a short time. And selfish as it sounded, he still wanted that experience more than anything.
He glanced over at Kensi; she had her thumbnail tucked between her teeth, face oriented toward the passenger window. He could only imagine what she was thinking about right now. Anita's retelling of the Padillas' history had been pretty grim.
"Hey, do you want to stop to off and get some of the toiletries and clothes for the kids?" he asked as they approached their local shopping area. Kensi jerked at his question, inhaling deeply before she turned to face him.
"Um, I think we should go home and regroup. You know, make sure we know everything we need," she responded slowly. Deeks shot her a concerned look as she turned away again.
At home, Kensi brushes past him, still silent and her face worryingly b
blank. Deeks caught at her hand, gently drawing her to a stop.
"Hey, Kens, wait a second. What's going on? You barely talked to me the whole ride home and it's honestly starting to freak me out."
"I just need a minute to wrap my mind around all of this," she said, holding up a hand as she took a deep breath weighted with the last few hours. "We just went from no kids to three sweet, helpless children and I'm starting to panic."
Deeks' stomach sank. She'd been so certain at Anita's office, willing to do anything to protect the Padillas.
"Do you want to back out?" he asked carefully, pushing aside his own disappointment. He wouldn't force her into a life without her fully and enthusiastically on-board.
"No, of course not." She made a slightly desperate sound, a different kind of fear in her eyes. It reminded him of when they'd first started discussing kids. "I don't know anything about raising children. All the classes and adoption groups are great, but it's completely different when you have a living, breathing child who is depending on you."
"It's not going to be easy, I know," Deeks agreed, grabbing both of her hands, trying to keep his own calm. "I'm pretty terrified too. You know how I was raised and everything that comes with my dad's legacy. I truly believe in us though." He squeezed her hands. "If you really aren't though, we can call Anita and tell her to look for a different placement."
Just the thought made his chest ache with imagined loss. Three hours ago, he hadn't known Caleb, Jesse, and Maria existed, yet he already felt a connection to them. He wouldn't push Kensi if she wasn't ready though.
"No, I want this," Kensi insisted and more tears filled her eyes. They were still slightly red from earlier. "More than anything. Whether it's for two days or two months, I want to help and care for these children. There's just so much to do and I'm—" she inhaled sharply, pressing her lips together. "What if I can't be enough for them? These kids are coming in with so much hurt and fear and I'm still afraid I won't be what they need."
"Hey, we are going to do this together. I have zero idea what I'm doing either, and I have a feeling there's going to be lots of tears and we're all going to screw up a lot, but we'll figure it out," Deeks said, his throat tightening with emotion. "Together. We'll be what these kids need, for as long as they need it. Together."
He leaned closer, pressing his forehead to Kensi's. "We can do this, baby." Kensi nodded, sniffing a couple times.
"Ok." She exhaled slowly, then asked, "This is still really insane though, right?"
"Absolutely," he agreed immediately, chuckling with slight hysteria mixed in with all the other emotions. "It's completely crazy."
"I love you so much," she said, kissing him quickly. "Thank you for talking me down."
"Always."
She drew in several long breaths, rubbing her hands over thighs. "Ok, first of all, we should probably call Fatima, and the Admiral, hell probably the whole team, and let them know what's going on."
"Oh yeah, Kilbride is not going to be happy with us. We should probably buy him a big glass of scotch so he doesn't have a stroke."
"That sounds pretty good right now." Kensi pulled a face.
"Afterwards," Deeks bargained. "Let's get the call over with and assuming we survive those, then make a list of everything we need to buy, fix, or change before the social worker comes tomorrow. I think we should wait to tell everyone else until Monday, when we'll hopefully be approved. That way we'll have more answers.
"That's smart." Leaning into his shoulder, Kensi wrapped her arms around his waist. "But when we call your mom, you're doing all the talking."
"Deal."
Monday Morning
"What do you think they're doing up there?" Rountree wondered, craning his head to get a better look into Kilbride's office. The tops of Kensi's and Deeks' heads were just visible.
"I don't know, but I'd suggest stepping two feet over if you don't want Kilbride to see you," Callen said, glancing up long enough to get a scant glance through the glass walls.
The two had been up there when he and Sam arrived at seven that morning. As far as he knew, they'd done nothing to deserve a reprimand from the Admiral. Although, the man could nitpick when in a bad mood. Or, it could be something extremely boring, such as follow up questions about a previous case.
"Can you see him?" Fatima asked. She sat on Kensi's desk, having come down with an update in a case and getting pulled into the eavesdropping instead.
"Could be they're trying another round of IVF," Sam said. "Or they're finally requesting time off for a real honeymoon. Either way, it's not our business unless they or Kilbride tells us."
"You know, it's been a while since either of them went undercover," Callen pointed out.
"Ooh, yeah, you're right." Fatima set her tablet to the side and sidled up next to Rountree, squinting her eyes as she looked upwards. "I thought they wanted to move away from long term undercover work."
"Sometimes you don't get a choice." Sam smiled grimly. "They do have a reputation after all."
"Damn. That's going to be rough," Rountree sighed.
"Hey, we don't know anything yet," Callen cautioned him.
"Sorry. Oh, he just stood up." Rountree and Fatima hastily ducked out of view.
Callen shared a look with Sam, hoping whatever was going on wouldn't be too disruptive.
"So, let me see if I understand this correctly. You are accepting an emergency foster placement and are requesting extended leave," Kilbride summed up.
"Yes, sir," Deeks said. "We'll be fostering three children for an unknown period of time. We'll both take six weeks and if we're still fostering, go from there."
"Our social worker is fast-tracking our approval," Kensi added. "So it might take a couple extra days, but uh, they'll probably move in by Wednesday." She gave a nervous smile. "All three of them."
"Do you realize how inconvenient it's going to be to lose two senior members of my team at the same time?" Kilbride asked, glaring back at them.
"We do." Deeks didn't feel great about leaving the team high and dry with so little notice.
"Unfortunately, since this is an emergency placement, we don't have a lot of choice." Kensi shrugged apologetically.
"Right. I knew I should have walked away when I found out you two were married," Kilbride grumbled. Folding his hands on the desk, fixing them with a look intended to cow. Deeks stared straight back, unmoved, and Kilbride sighed in apparent resignation. "You do realize this won't be easy? Children are loud, and demanding, and expensive."
"That's very eloquent, sir," Deeks commented wryly. Then more seriously added, "You know we've wanted to be parents for a long time. This is our chance and we're going to do it right."
"What about you, Blye? Are you really going to leave a promising career more than a decade in the making?"
Lifting her chin, Kensi regarded Kilbride without a hint of doubt or distress. "I once thought this job was everything and the single most important thing in my life." She caught Deeks' eye, very purposely reaching to link their fingers together; he squeezed back three times. "I know that's not the truth anymore. So, yes, I'm prepared to step down if needed."
"Though any retaliation against either of us for pursuing our rights as foster parent would result in legal action," Deeks felt compelled to add.
Kilbride rolled his eyes. "Couple of saps. Fine. I'll notify HR to send you the appropriate paperwork and start looking for your temporary, emphasis on temporary, replacements." He stood, tucking his arms behind his back and walked over to the glass, staring down below. "I certainly hope you know what you're doing.
"We do," Kensi repeated.