Zuko
Being a waterbender under a mostly full moon, and having had a nap on the way over, it's a while before Katara's tired and ready for bed. So we make dinner, and I give her a tour of the house. She especially likes the Library, and how you can see the ocean from almost every room. We go down to the beach for a bit and she decides to surf, making a board out of Ice. I lay on my back in the sand, doing my absolute best not to just stare at her while she glides over the water gracefully in her red swimsuit, one of the things I grabbed in my supply run, not only for selfish reasons. I don't do a very good job, I end up watching her almost the whole time, and just blushing when she catches me. I make a fire on the beach, and she comes in from the ocean to sit with me. We don't talk almost the whole day. We just sit in silence, which I'm honestly okay with. But it puts Katara out, I guess, because she ends up starting to fall asleep while we sit by the fire. I catch her doing that head jerking thing, where she'll fall asleep until her head falls forward then that wakes her up and it starts all over again.
"Alright, Water Princess." I smile at her. "Time for bed." I help her up, and she's practically sleepwalking as I half carry her up the stairs into the house, leading her to what I remember being the nicest bedroom with the best view of the beach. I walk her over to the bed and help her lay down, and fight the urge to kiss her forehead before I leave.
"Goodnight, Katara." I whisper, then start heading out the door.
"Zuko?" She asks. I turn to face her.
"Yeah?" She's hardly able to keep her eyes open.
"Stay with me? Just for tonight? I really don't want to be by myself." She asks, making my heart race out of my chest.
"Of course, Katara." I say. Even though her invitation implied it, I don't get on the bed with her. She's half asleep, and I don't think she'd ask this if she were wide awake. Instead I grab a blanket off the chair and a pillow, then lay on my back on the floor next to the bed. Katara smiles and lays her head down, one arm under her head and the other hanging off the side of the mattress. When I'm sure she's asleep, I reach up and touch her fingers with my own. To my surprise, she laces them with hers.
"Shut up." I smile to myself. "It doesn't mean anything. She'd probably hold Combustion Man's hand if he were here right now." But I don't believe myself. Even if it's only when she's tired so her guard is down, she trusts me. On some level, I make her feel safe. She wants me close. So could she want more?
…
I wake as the sun comes up, my fingers somehow still tangled with Katara's. I smile, squeeze her hand, and stretch as I get up, then slide out the door as quietly as I can and shut it behind me. Heading down to the beach, I do a quick workout and go through some bending drills. Finishing that, I go back inside and take a shower. I take my time, it's been a while since I've had the luxury of a shower.
When I finish I peek in Katara's bedroom door. She's still sleeping, laying on her side with her hair pulled back in a ponytail. Her lips are parted just like they were when she was napping on the way over here.
"See you soon, Water Princess." I whisper.
I go and get on Appa, who's happily munching on the dune grass.
"Hey, Buddy. Yip Yip." I tell him and slap the reins. He groans and takes off.
It'll take most of the day to get to where the rest of the gaang is, and then with the time it'll take to pack up and fly back I estimate we'll be back around sunset.
I pass the time just thinking about The last year, and how much everything has changed. I'm not hunting the Avatar anymore, i'm training him. I'm not trying to earn my honor back, I know it belongs to me and me alone. I'm not craving my father's acceptance, I'm helping Aang have a chance at killing him.
I think about Katara, and how much I loved watching her smile and laugh while we were on our little side quest for the cakes. I know I'd do anything to keep that smile on her face. I think about how apparently the only reason I'm alive is because she's decided to let me live. I've never seen anything as powerful as her bloodbending and stopping rain, pulling water out of thin air and making ice daggers, If she'd be more willing to use blood bending, she'd be able to stop Azula or maybe even my father without too much trouble. It's a thought worth considering, but I don't think I'll bring it up to her. Bloodbending seems to take her to a really dark place, and I don't want to make her face that more than she has to. She's seen her darkness, and the power it holds, and yet she still chooses to walk in the light. It's one of the reasons I love her.
"What?!" I shout at myself as I sit up. "I'm not in love with Katara!" But even as I say it, I know it isn't true. I do love her. I'd do anything for her, give my life if I needed to. Anything to see her smiling and safe, if that'll ever happen. She calms me and makes my heart race all at once. If she's okay, I can feel at peace even if I'm in the middle of a battle. And when I'm around her, She just makes me want to be better than I am, because I need to be someone she deserves to have next to her.
I remember the first time I saw Katara in the South Pole. She stood out to me because she was a pretty girl around my age in the crowd of mothers and toddlers, but I wasn't too focused on her at the time. The longer I chased the Avatar, the more she'd show up in my dreams. Then I was able to get to know her better when she was captured on my ship: playing Pai Sho every morning and meditating together, and the weeks of her hands all over my body when she healed me after the lightning strike. And letting her touch my scar the first time. Then again when we were at the Crystal Catacombs in Ba Sing Se when she offered to heal it. I remember how she screamed when I burned her as she escaped my ship, and how that still sometimes haunts my dreams. Somehow, I regretted that even more than i regretted speaking out in the war meeting that got me banished. I'll do anything to get her to forgive me for that.
I close my eyes and think of her smile and laugh, the way she shuts her eyes and turns her face to the sun when she's cold, basking in it's warmth. For a Waterbender who draws power from the moon, she loves the sun. I think of one of my dreams of her, wearing a red silk dress in the water at Ember Island, the waves lapping over her feet as she smiles and laughs and turns to the sun. That image in my head calms me with peace and drives me crazy with want.
It's never going to happen. I need to get that out of my head and make peace with it. She isn't even for sure going to forgive me, and even if she does there's Aang to consider. She may not return his feelings now, but he's the Avatar, Spirits damn it. It won't take long.
Once we defeat my father, we'll find Uncle Iroh and have him take the throne. I'll be his heir, and as such I'll have to have a legitimate heir of my own. That being said, I'll have to take a wife. And it can't be Katara, not if she won't forgive me and she falls in love with Aang instead. Even now at seventeen years old, I know she's always going to hold a piece of my heart. I gave it to her without meaning to, and it's something she'll keep forever whether she wants it or not. That's not fair to whoever I'll marry, but it's not exactly like I can help it. So I'll find a girl from a noble family with a kind and compassionate spirit, who knows what our relationship will be from the start. One day, I'll be Fire Lord and she'll be Fire Lady. We can have a good, Royal life together and have kids we love, and maybe grow to love each other. And I'll more likely than not never see Katara again once we part ways after the war, anyways.
I'll think about all that later. Right now, I'm nearing up on the rest of the Gaang, and I need to talk with them before we go back. Aang sees me first as Appa goes to land. He runs up and stops inches away from me when i get to the ground.
"What happened? Is Katara okay? Did she do it? Or did she forgive him?" He asks in rapid fire questions. Sokka, Toph, and Suki all walk up from where they are.
"Where's my sister, Zuko?" Sokka asks.
"She's fine. I dropped her off at our next hiding place. I thought of somewhere we can go that no one will ever think to look for us at. Katara…she needed some time to process everything that happened."
"Did she do it, Zuko? Did she taint her soul?" Aang asks me, making a flash of anger rise up in me. I try to reign it in.
"Listen, Aang. I'll tell you what happened, but you need to understand something first. That man, Yen Ra, was a cruel and horrible man who was never going to face any kind of legal justice for what he did. So whatever choice Katara made that was right for her was the right choice to make. There's nothing about it that would make it a wrong choice, or even make her a bad person. Understand?" I look at him, but his face just falls.
"What happened, Zuko?" Sokka asks.
"She did it, Didn't she? She chose revenge. She chose darkness." Aang says dejectedly. The anger I was reeling in overflows.
"Want to know what she did?!" I shout. "She let that filthy piece of Phoenix Shit walk away with his life! And that was the right decision because it was the decision she made. If she had gone the other way there would have been nothing wrong with it! Why can't you get that?" The kid is grinning like an idiot.
"She spared him? She chose forgiveness? That's amazing, I knew she would!"
"For Agni's Sake!" I shout. "How are you- I can't- I'm going to cool off. Then I'll take you to where we're hiding next. Everyone pack up and be ready to go. I'll be back in an hour." I say and go to hike down the cliffside and onto the beach below us. I spend about an hour working out, swimming, running, and going through Fire Bending drills. When I feel like I've cooled off enough, I go back up the cliff and see everyone else is already packed up and ready to go. I don't say a word to anyone, I just get on Appa and snap his reigns.
"Yip Yip, Appa."