What do you do when you're an All-Powerful God and your universe is collapsing upon itself because you were busy dealing with other crises (cough "watching 90 Day Fiancé" cough) instead of getting rid of a megalomaniac who wants to destroy the universe?

Reset the Timeline by a few years with your Champion? Rebuild the Universe anew?

How about sending your Chosen One's Partner Pokémon on a one-way trip to another universe worthy of several seasons on HBO Max? Bonus points for shenanigans that involve breaking the fourth wall, occasionally ("cough" frequently "cough") destroying reality, and Pikachu in adorable outfits.

Rated M for swearing, mentions of violence, creatures readers considered childhood BFFs breaking the Geneva Conventions and committing way too many crimes against humanity and reality to comprehend.

The Astounding World of Pokémon. Teeming with Majesty and Intrigue. Attempting to count every kind of Pokémon might be challenging indeed across the various regions, from the calm of Kanto and Johto to the mysteries of space-time in Sinnoh and Alola to the fantasy of Gigantification in Galar, with numbers heading well over a thousand.

And this is where we find one such Pokémon, a rather special one amongst them all. A Pikachu. Cute and cuddly and rather unassuming at first glance, you would be forgiven for not recognizing one of the most powerful Pokémon to ever live.

And what was this Pikachu doing? Enjoying a spa day, sipping a Corona, a break from the responsibilities of being a World Champion Pokémon (and a very capable lover, because even Little Pikachu needed a break).

But that would all change in an instant.

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Just as Pikachu put down Ash's Unovan Pokédex (it was only good for playing Tetris) for his phone to FaceTime Ash at the human side of the Four Seasons Resort, the Blissey with his phone on a silver platter dissolved into goo.

"What in the Joker's nuts!"

All of a sudden, the sky went pitch black and the ground disappeared, sending him plummeting to his doom.

"If I'm dying, somebody please clear my browser history!"

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Five minutes later, the narrator/writer of this fine tale learned something new – Pikachu language, contrary to his appearance, was not cute and cuddly – it was crass enough to make Blackbeard sound like a lady of high society. And what more proof would you need of this than that the Creator, the God of the Pokémon Universe, Arceus, bleeding from his ears?

"***********!**********!************!******!***********!**********!*******************!**********************!***************************************!********************************!**********!************!******!****!******!

"You F**king censored me!"

"Well, you were insinuating that I go fornicate with the forbidden love child of Dolores Umbridge and Dormammu, and seriously, I don't have infinite PP for Wish to heal my ears. And my offer-"

"First of all, your offer can go suck Unicron's d**k.

Second. You RUINED MY SPA DAY!"

"I apologize for that-"

"And most importantly, You LOST Ash in the F**king pixie dust-"

"Lost is a bit of a stretch…merely displaced somewhere in the Multiverse – don't blame me, blame that pesky human Cyrus.

That fool tore the very fabric of reality from within from the void – Dialga and Palkia stopped him, but they unfortunately perished destroying him and the damage had already been done – the universe was unraveling upon itself. The only option left was to, as the humans say, "hit the reset button", where I planned to send the Chosen One with his allies back to the past to prevent this disaster.

Unfortunately, my control of Space-Time isn't quite as precise as Dialga or Palkia, and humans, even Aura-enhanced ones, are more "complicated" compared to Pokémon."

"And now he's somewhere bouncing around the Multiverse and you don't f**king know where!"

"…Yes?"

"*********!*********!****************************!**!*****************!**************!****************************!*******!********!************!******!**************************!**********!************!******!****!******!****************************************************************************!"

…

"So it's either join the rest of our universe and cease to be, or go to another world with the rest of my crew and live out the rest of my days, with a chance that Ash might someday crash into whatever world I'm singing Kumbaya on."

"Now you're catching on!"

"And why the f**k can't you use your divine powers to fix the universe and get Ash?"

"There are rules way beyond your paygrade, and at this point, we're better off resetting the universe to the Big Bang. And I only control the exit of our universe. So chop, chop, make your choice."

"F**k it – it's not like I've got anything else to do. And besides, Mama Ketchum was pestering me last week about getting some new hobbies…"

"Now that's settled, let me get you and your crew sent off ASAP – I've got an appointment on Earth-666 with the lovely Miss Charlotte Richards – the Big Bang isn't gonna start itself."

"So how are we gonna..."

YEET!

One smack of a Judgement Gavel and Pikachu was yeeted from the Pokémon universe through a wormhole, never to be seen again.

"Hmm…I have an odd feeling that I'm forgetting something…I did remove the censor, so it's not that…oh well, he's a resourceful young lad, he'll figure things out.

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