Chapter 13, everybody! Prepare yourself, not only am I back on my big computer after two months, I actually got a decent head of steam on this so we're good for a couple of weeks. :D
Also, show of hands, who else didn't realize at first that Diagon Alley and Knockturn Alley were both puns?
By the way, Harry's wardrobe now resembles Mabel's from Gravity Falls.
LadyJaeza, thanks for the review! Glad to know you're enjoying the fic enough to have read through it four times! :D And no worries, we've all done that at least once. Thank you, it's nice to be free. ;v;/ And horde socks *bricked* And glad you like Snips, the tiny Petrie-helper who may or may not be our old Potions professor. ;D
Harry Potter © JK Rowling
Harry's first impression upon stepping out of the dingy store—Borgins and Bourke's, according to the sign—was that he had stumbled into an evil version of Diagon Alley.
"Snips, where are we?" Harry hissed.
Snips scurried to the top of Harry's head, looked around—dropped down to his shoulder and pointed. Harry hurried off in the direction he indicated, trying not to walk too briskly and attract suspicion.
He still attracted attention though.
"Blummin' 'eck, what is tha'?" a witch asked, spotting Snips.
"Uh—en—enchanted direction-finder!" Harry blurted, kicking it into high gear. "Great if you get lost a lot!"
"Well where'd you buy it—oi, at least tell me the store!"
Harry wasn't going to, Harry was going to run until he hit something familiar—
And then he did.
"Harry! What're you doing down 'ere?"
"Hagrid!" Harry blurted, hugging the giant of a man in relief. "I was at the Weasleys and I was supposed to use the floo but I never used it before and now I have no idea where I am I'm supposed to be in Diagon Alley but—"
"Oi, Harry, take a breath," Hagrid counseled, dusting Harry off. "You ended up in Knockturn Alley—come on, Diagon's this way, shouldn't take but a mo'…."
Harry could have melted in relief when Hagrid led him back to the familiar bright streets of Diagon Alley.
And, now that he was safe, he couldn't help the curious look back. "Knockturn Alley?"
"Aye, you don't want to be goin' down there," Hagrid said, still trying to get soot off of Harry. "Load of dark wizards shop there. Rotten place."
Harry blinked. "Then wait a minute—what were you doing down there?"
"Getting' flesh-eatin' slug repellant—they've been eating up the school cabbages. There now, I think we got the worst of it—you said you were meetin' the Weasleys?"
"Yeah," Harry said, looking around. "Um, Hagrid—where do you go when you floo to Diagon Alley?"
"There's a setup right near the Leaky Cauldron—c'mon, that'll be where they'll be I bet."
Hagrid gave Harry a ride on his shoulder to help spot the Weasleys sooner, should they be out and looking for him—headed straight down the middle to avoid the signs, Snips perched on Harry's head and similarly looking. Harry would have thought they'd make a strange sight, except with wizards you really did have to be a certain level of bizarre to make a scene.
Ron frantically running along the alley probably got close though.
"Ron!" Harry bellowed, waving. "Ron over here!"
"Harry!" Ron yelped, dashing over as Hagrid lowered Harry back to the ground—and then tackling Harry in a hug before bouncing back. "Fred and George came through, asked where you were 'cause you went ahead of them, and when Mum and Dad came through they realized you must have gone though the wrong grate—Merlin, Harry, where were you?"
"I came out in some shop on Knockturn Alley—I'll tell you later, there's something I need to tell Mr. Weasley. Thanks, Hagrid," Harry said, looking up at his friend.
"No problem, Harry," Hagrid said. "You lot swing by the Leaky Cauldron for lunch, maybe—I'll be gettin' a bite to eat before heading back to Hogwarts. And I haven't forgotten about you, either," he said to Snips, squeaking at him.
Ron and Harry thanked Hagrid again, which was about the time the rest of the Weasleys arrived and Harry was able to tell his story. As he suspected, Mr. Weasley was keenly interested in the idea of Mr. Malfoy trying to avoid getting into trouble in a raid, and the whole hidden compartment Mr. Malfoy had mentioned.
The twins had other focuses.
"Lucky," George muttered as soon as Mrs. Weasley was out of earshot. "Mum won't even let us take a peek down Knockturn Alley."
"Describe it to us," Fred asked. "In detail, if you don't mind."
"Dingy. Dirty. Pretty sure people have been murdered there," Harry said. "That Borgin and Bourke's had shrunken heads and skulls and mummy hands in it—it was all pretty creepy."
"Hmm-hmm, hmm-hmm," Fred noised, nodding. "Dirty, dark, and dangerous."
"No wonder Mum doesn't want us down there," George said.
"And with her knowing the state of our room."
"I sneezed once going through the floo," Ron told Harry as the twins broke off to their own discussion. "Ended up at the Diggory's by mistake. It can be tricky if you're not careful."
"I've decided I don't like floo travel," Harry said.
"That's fair."
The rest of the shopping was fairly uneventful after that—Mrs. Weasley gave Mr. Weasley a list after Gringotts, told him to stay on task, she was going to get the books early because just look at how Flourish and Blotts is!
Looking at how Flourish and Blotts was, Harry was pretty certain the only thing stopping him from coming back tomorrow when it wasn't as crowded was the idea that he'd have to use the floo again.
The rest of the shopping wasn't nearly as crowded and went smoothly. Snips helped them pick out the best potions ingredients at the apothecary (the manager wanted to know where Snips came from too, and/or if Harry was interested in selling him; Harry was not), and Harry had a long conversation at Madame Malkins about Muggle clothing—or at least, wizard clothing that could pass as Muggle.
"Trousers are really more to the young folks' taste," she said, before finally directing him to a competitor who stocked Muggle clothing. Fred and George had a grand time pulling out the wildest sweaters and making Harry try them on.
Eventually, though, they made their way back to Flourish and Blotts, which had not ceased to be crowded since they started—for good reason, Harry decided, spotting the sign announcing a book signing by—
"Gilderoy Lockhart?" Harry read. "Isn't he the guy who did the Defense books this year?"
"Maybe he figured everyone would be buying his books," Ron said, before waving. "Hermione!"
Hermione spotted them, dodged through the crowd to reach them. "Harry! Ron! Are you okay?" she asked Harry. "I was looking for information on house elves there's a whole history apparently and wizards are so horrible to them I don't understand how this even got started—"
"It's good to see you too, Hermione," Harry greeted.
"Well of course it's good to see you come on you two you can meet my parents—"
There was the obligatory introductions, and once Mr. Weasley was quizzing Mr. and Mrs. Granger on Muggle things to a rapidly increasing audience (dentistry was apparently either supremely barbaric or incredibly hardcore to a group of people who were used to pointing a wand at things and fixing it), Harry, Ron, and Hermione worked their way around the edge of the store to the section labeled nonfiction and started hunting for books on magical creatures. Harry soon had a stack of compendiums, Hermione had several books on house elves, and she and Ron both had flustered expressions when Harry said he'd pay for their books.
"I grabbed too much, it's like…happy birthday and thanks for having me for the summer," he told them. "Also, Ron, I still owe you ten galleons."
"I won't say no to books," Hermione said, struggling to lift her stack of books. "Do you know if we're allowed to use magic here? Is it just don't use it at home or don't use it outside of school at all?"
"Mostly it's don't use it in front of Muggles," Ron said. "I know we use magic a lot at home even though technically we're not supposed to, but since Mum and Dad are both wizards and it's a wizarding house it doesn't really count, since the Ministry figures any magic there is them doing it." Consider his own stack of books, tug out his wand and point it at the books before doing a little swish and flick. "Wingardium Leviosa."
"You really improved on that spell since the troll," Harry said.
"It does kind of set the standard," Ron agreed.
They floated their books to the register, which had a much shorter line than the book signing line—Harry bought several of the expanding reusable shopping bags for sale by the register, was entertained by the clerk explaining how you could customize and personalize it, ended up buying three more books on the topic titled Charms for Charming Customization: When Dyeing and Painting Isn't Enough.
"I'm going to make everything Chudley Cannons colors," Ron announced as they drifted over to where Mrs. Weasley was in line. "Like, aggressively coordinated—show Dean how they're better than West Ham."
"They're from two separate sports, Ron," Hermione pointed out. "I don't think you can really compare the two."
"It's the principle of it."
Harry, meanwhile, had reached Mrs. Weasley and gave her the fourth tote bag he had bought, calling it a thank-you for letting him stay over the summer.
"Oh thank you, aren't you a dear," she said, accepting the tote and sorting what he recognized as several copies of their schoolbooks inside.
"The line for the other register is shorter," Harry offered, taking some of the books so she could handle them better.
"Ah, I couldn't resist the book signing—Mr. Lockhart really is an expert in the field. Have you bought your schoolbooks yet? I'll get yours signed as well."
Harry really didn't see why not, pulled out his own Lockhart books (which Snips sniffed at in disdain) before handing them over. "Have you paid for the books yet? I can take the bag for you so it's not so much," he offered, quietly thinking he would one hundred percent pay for them after seeing how much he had compared to how much they had.
(he wondered if he could ask Griphook what the rules about anonymous donations were—it seemed wizards had a lot of rules).
"No, I'm fine now, thank you," Mrs. Weasley said. "Besides, it's almost my turn, shouldn't be too much longer—"
Harry had to dodge a guy with a large camera barreling by, talking about taking pictures for the Daily Prophet, decided that book-signing was too much fuss and trailed off to find Ron and Hermione after telling Mrs. Weasley about Hagrid inviting them to the Leaky Cauldron for lunch.
"What do you think?" Harry asked. "Are book signings too much fuss?"
"I wouldn't mind getting my books signed," Hermione said, standing on her tiptoes to try and see Gilderoy Lockhart. "But I'd probably hold up the line—he's done so much according to his books—"
"Maybe we can see about asking to go over to the Quidditch store," Ron suggested.
Unfortunately, this coincided with the Malfoys coming into the store, which slid sideways into a row between Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Weasley, which Hagrid had to split up, which attracted the attention of much of the store—
"Upon my word—is that Harry Potter?"
Harry decided just then that he really needed to invest in a hat.
It was a relief to get back to the Burrow, even if it involved using the Floo again—although fortunately this time he reached where he was intending.
The next several weeks were spent making sure their school trunks were all packed—Mrs. Weasley was certain they'd be a mess if they left packing till the last minute, told them that trying to herd the whole of the Weasleys was stressful enough without you lot forgetting every little thing, make sure it was all packed away, darn it.
Harry and Ron had a long discussion on what they wanted packed away right away and what could wait, Snips finally ending it by hopping up and down on Harry's tote bag (which now did read Property of Harry James Potter, although Harry was debating on whether or not he wanted to leave that there), reminding them that they could store what they wanted to keep out to read or play with in there (which would also be good for the train trip).
There was still a long discussion on which books they wanted to pack in the tote bag, and how the fact that the tote bag had expanding charms on it probably wasn't an open invitation to stuff everything in there. They finally agreed on a handful of the more interesting books, Ron's travelling chess set, and some of the knitting supplies Harry had picked up in Diagon Alley.
Harry also spent some of the time trying to knit himself a hat, although the end result looked so much more like a tea cozy that he gave it to Mrs. Weasley (with apologies for its appearance).
August 31st had them finishing up their packing and storing their trunks in the car (which also had expansion charms on it), Mrs. Weasley again saying that I'll not have us all running about like headless chickens tomorrow morning. Harry and Ron had their tote bags packed and their clothes for tomorrow ready to go, were in bed early at Mrs. Weasley's behest, still spent an hour chatting about what they'd be learning this year and how excited they were about going back to Hogwarts, despite Dobby's dire predictions.
It was unfortunate that nothing had come out of filing charges at the Ministry.
"We should do this next summer," Ron decided.
Harry was inclined to agree.
Despite Mrs. Weasley's best efforts, everyone was indeed running around and bumping into each other the next morning, a few false starts out the driveway before someone remembered something they had forgotten. Inanely, Harry recalled Neville's Remembrall and wondered how much one would run him.
Traffic didn't help matters, and by the time they reached Kings Cross, they were cutting things extremely close. Mrs. Weasley ran Fred and George through first, then Percy, then Ginny—
"Ron, Harry, you next," she ordered—Harry and Ron sped for the portal—
Bounced off of it and went sprawling.
Mr. and Mrs. Weasley was quick to cover the action, scolding the boys for racing the trolleys as they picked them up—a helpful porter brought Hedwig's cage over, complementing Harry on such a beautiful bird, and within a few minutes the curious Muggles were back on their way.
Harry put a hand on the entrance to Platform 9 ¾, was surprised to see it was solid—looked at the nearby clock to see that it was not yet eleven.
"Why is it always me?" Harry asked Ron.
"I wouldn't go that far," Ron started.
Mr. Weasley leaned against the wall. "This is most peculiyIEEE!" he yelped, falling through the portal. Harry put his hand against it—still solid.
"Maybe it is you," Ron amended.