Chapter 34, everybody! And happy 2021 oh happy day WE MADE IT! *sob*

Fred and George's grand stair scheme stems from a Tumblr post I read once. And Dumbledore may have been inducted into the general mischief-makers' group, we're not sure yet. And I'm pretty sure the fate of the sled has happened to me a couple of times in the early EA video games. ^^;

EveSchwingel, thanks for the review! That sounds more like a misunderstanding of American economics to me—we don't expect the tips to make the majority of a person's wages, tips are to show our appreciation for services rendered, meaning that anyone from a hairdresser to a waitress to a valet would get a tip. Not giving a tip is solely reserved for when services rendered are terrible or when the person being served is being just rude. And considering I've heard accounts of British bartenders hastening to serve American tourists because they know a tip is coming, I would say not tipping is both a social and economic failing of the European Union. People like being appreciated, and it's good to show people you appreciate them, which is why the tip culture exists in the first place. It's why the Ko-Fi website exists—it's tips to appreciate services rendered, and the fact that it exists and is global tells me that again, tipping is a preferred socio-economic standard. But hey, I'm just here writing fanfiction.

Thanks for the review, Shelby! Oh yeah! :D

TroyWeb, thanks for the review! Aha, thank you, I'm glad you liked that exchange! I had a grand old time when I wrote it. :D

M lone book dragon, thanks for the review! Yes, he's quite the character. :D

Harry Potter © JK Rowling

Dumbledore was probably more than a little bemused at the gaggle of students plus familiars and quills, but recovered quickly enough to summon a tea set for them and ask what brought them here.

Being handed the papers Fitzherbert had scribbled on might have answered that question, but it definitely made the next several minutes painfully quiet, Ron staring into his tea like he hoped the leaves had something positive to say. Fred and George looked ill too, and it occurred to Harry that if Scabbers was Peter Pettigrew like the quill 'said,' then that meant a murderer had been living in their house for about as long as they had been alive.

He couldn't imagine what that sort of violation felt like.

Dumbledore finally finished, looked at the quill. "Can you verify that your source is sound?"

The quill bobbed up and down.

"I see," Dumbledore sighed, looking back at the papers and seeming very old indeed right now. "Well. I can't say this is not a complex issue."

"Do summoning charms not work on unregistered Animagi?" Luna asked, still vaguely serene despite the tension in the room.

"No, they do not. Nor do they work on registered Animagi, although it's probably best that we don't go into how we learned this." Stroke his beard thoughtfully. "And regrettably, as a rat he had a great many places to hide, if he is even still on castle grounds."

Hermione had been quiet for a long time, glancing at Ron—finally opened her mouth—

"No," Ron said flatly, pointing at her. "No, you do not get to be right Crookshanks was after Sca—for the last semester we all thought your cat was trying to eat my pet and finding out he's not really a rat doesn't change how you handled that."

"Children, please," Dumbledore sighed, raising a hand and staving off the start of another argument. "I understand tensions are high. This has been a most distressing year, and this adds to it. But this, if true, changes things," he said, tapping the papers.

"So what are you going to do?" Harry asked.

"If this is true, then Sirius Black is an innocent man. Until we retrieve the rat in question and verify, however, we cannot simply use this to absolve him."

"Could we use it to give him a trial finally?" Luna asked.

"Unfortunately, it wouldn't help—twelve years in Azkaban would render both veritruserum and memory examination faulty. We need to produce the accused, as it were."

"How, though?" Harry asked.

Fred and George had lapsed into silence again, suddenly stood.

"This is about to go against everything we believe," Fred announced.

George nodded gravely. "May the Marauders forgive us."

Everyone had a blank look for them which only deepened as George pulled out an old piece of parchment and placed it on Dumbledore's desk, unfolding it until it covered most of the top.

"Very intriguing," Dumbledore said at last. "And very mysterious."

"Very," Luna said. "Will we be learning its secrets soon?"

Harry hoped so, considering they were all looking at a blank piece of parchment.

Fred and George, meanwhile, were busy having a very intense, very silent debate, ending in rock-paper-scissors. Which Fred lost.

"All right," he sighed, pulling his wand out and touching it to the paper.

"Well?" Ron asked after a long moment.

"Give me a minute," Fred said. "This is painful."

"Take all the time you need," Dumbledore said, bemused by it all but apparently deciding to roll with it. "Shall I refresh anyone's tea while we wait?"

Fred took a deep breath, George putting a hand on his shoulder and looking like he was mourning the loss of a friend—

"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

There were several gasps as the parchment started filling up with ink, crisscrossing and dodging this way and that until the whole was filled up with what looked like a map—

And then at the top: Messers Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs are proud to present the Marauder's Map.

"A map?" Harry asked, surprised.

"A map of Hogwarts and everyone in it," George said.

"Our greatest tool in mischief-making," Fred sighed. "Be nice to it, Headmaster."

Dumbledore seemed just as intrigued as the rest of them. "My goodness," he muttered, tracing along the map until he found what he was looking for. "Oh look at this, here we are in my office!"

"We notice you pace a lot in here."

"Sometimes pacing helps the thinking process," Dumbledore explained. "Other times a good mug of tea. Sometimes both. This is a very impressive piece of magic."

"We can't take the credit here," Fred admitted—he and George then proceeded to explain that in their younger, more innocent years (Harry and Ron both snorted at that), they had snitched it from Filch's office and then proceeded to puzzle it out.

"It's how we know all the secret passageways," George said. "Or at least, most of them—some odd bits will show up out of nowhere, and there's at least one room that never shows up on the map."

"Very impressive," Dumbledore said. "I see Mr. Malfoy is in the library again, good for him…and you seem to be there as well, Miss Granger, how strange."

"But," Hermione said, as Ron looked at the library too. "I thought Hogwarts was supposed to be unplottable."

"It is, which adds to the impressiveness of this map."

"Maybe," Luna offered. "It's because it was made in the castle?"

"Yes, that seems logical."

Judging by Hermione's expression, it wasn't, but Harry had other concerns. "Um, not that…how does the map help?"

"The map shows everyone in the castle," Fred explained. "Now, the little rat might have slipped by our notice being in Ron's pocket all this time—"

"Please don't remind me," Ron sighed.

"And it doesn't show animals, but it shows Animagi."

"So it stands to reason it'll show the rat," George said.

Ron looked at them, back at the map, back at them. "And you never told me about this why?"

"Because you're our brother," they chimed.

"Ah."

"To be fair, you two have managed enough mischief for the entire Weasley family," Dumbledore assured them. "Oh dear what happened?"

"Oh right," Fred said, tapping the map again and bringing it back. "When you're done you say mischief managed—otherwise anyone can read it. Ah…this isn't confiscated now, is it?"

"Perhaps temporarily borrowed," Dumbledore assured them. "And if it was made here at Hogwarts, I might have to give whoever is responsible some form of very late outstanding grade."

"We've tried figuring out who the Marauders were," George offered. "Could never figure it out."

"Ah, a new puzzle to solve."

"How can we be sure it works, though?" Ron asked. "I mean for sure. It's showing Hermione in two places."

"Questionable, but it's a start," Dumbledore said. "Might I borrow this? At the very least it's a fascinating study."

Indeed, they all spent another hour gathered around scouring the map, Mauve slithering down Luna's arm to slip across the map herself and consider everything.

"That chamber thing from last year isn't on here," she announced, looking at the area near Myrtle's bathroom. "Shouldn't it be on here?"

"Yeah, but you didn't find that until last year," Fred pointed out when Harry translated. "The Marauders wouldn't have known about it."

"Sca—the rat would have," Ron mused. "He'd be able to squeeze down there."

"It's worth investigating," Dumbledore decided.

Scouring the Chamber of Secrets both figuratively and literally didn't turn up anything, but Dumbledore assured them they'd keep looking. A few of the aurors from last year came back, muttering to themselves about annoying unregistered Animagi—which also became the topic of interest in Transfiguration, which McGonagall went over in detail about how stupid that was because of so many things that could go wrong.

"Apparently it's a very complicated process," Hermione said, nose buried in a book on the subject during one of their study sessions afterwards.

"I wouldn't mind learning how, though," Harry said. "Current issues aside, it seems cool."

"Agreed," Ron said.

The issue of Pettigrew nee Scabbers didn't get resolved in the next week or two, however, and as young minds are wont to do they drifted on to new problems.

Saturday was drizzly and wet, not really conductive to going outside, and their homework was either already done or a problem for their future selves.

Hence, the plan, which had started with Seamus lamenting that there was no snow, Harry figuring that Snuffles could have pulled a sled, and Dean mentioning how he rode a sled down the stairs once.

Hence, their current situation, which Snips was being very vocal in his disapproval of.

"I'm thinking we start on a lower flight first," Harry suggested. "Just in case."

Dean looked up from the sled he had transfigured from a slipper (which still had the basic shape and fuzziness of a slipper, but it would work). "I mean it already has some cushioning built in."

"I say go higher," Fred suggested.

"Yes," George added. "Find out how the stairs move, pick the route that takes you from the top to the bottom, and then go from there."

"We should do that anyway—sounds like the start of a grand scheme."

"Yes."

"I think we should at least test it," Neville volunteered. "Before we have anyone else ride in it."

Snuffles—who had been very excited at this whole thing—jumped on the sled and barked.

"I don't feel right doing that," Harry said. "Maybe we just send the sled down by itself."

"Won't the sled react differently with no weight?" Seamus asked.

"We could weigh it down with books," Ron offered. "I know I've got some textbooks I wouldn't mind sliding off into oblivion."

After agreeing that they wouldn't tell Hermione about this, the sled was soon burdened with several copies of A History of Magic and one or two leftover Lockhart books.

"Ready?" Ron asked.

"Ready," the twins chimed, grinning.

"Okay," Harry said, Colin hovering about eagerly with his camera. "Field test one. Ready…steady…push!"

They watched as the sled went clattering down the stairs, sliding over the step that always tripped Neville up—

And then the stairs shifted, turning to lead to a new corridor—

And the sled went shooting off the exposed end to slam against the wall before clattering to the floor.

"So," Ron said finally, when they were all done wincing at the noise fading. "That went well."

"Kinda glad we tested it first," Harry said.

"Borf," Snuffles agreed.

Trying to retrieve the sled revealed that Professor McGonagall had happened on the scene and was not happy with the whole event.

"While I am glad you at least had the sense to not go sliding down in it yourselves, what were you even thinking?" she demanded.

The boys quickly debated among themselves before coming to a conclusion. "We don't know," Harry reported.

Professor McGonagall sighed, reverted the sled back to a slipper with a wave of her wand. "Who transfigured the sled?"

"I did, ma'am," Dean said. "Kind of want it back, it's part of a pair."

"And what was your reasoning there?"

Dean shrugged. "Both start with S, they're kind of the same shape?"

"Well reasoned," she said, handing the slipper back to Dean. "Five points to Gryffindor, which should make each of you losing five points sting less."

Their groaning was quickly shushed, and they collected their books and started heading upstairs.

"And Mr. Potter," Professor McGonagall said. "I've told you about having that dog in the castle."

Harry looked at Snuffles, then at the nearest window, then at her. "I know, Professor, I just didn't feel right sending him outside to Hagrid's in this weather."

Snuffles sagged and whined, doing his best to look totally pitiful, giving Professor McGonagall puppy-dog eyes until she relented.

"Fine, fine," she huffed, waving them off. "Now the both of you, shoo."

Harry grinned. "Thanks, Professor!"

Snuffles' happy barking bounced all over the stairwells as he bounded up the steps with Harry.

Success.