Chapter 38, everybody! In which we hear some explanations without the whole turning into a werewolf thing derailing them.
Sirius's statement about the Potter house comes from a Tumblr post where someone theorized that Voldemort's body was there as well, with the added stipulation that maybe Sirius kicked his nose off. Seems legit. Also some Sirius puns, and Ron quoting Ron from Kim Possible. Ron-ception….
Also Crookshanks being the Potters' cat is another fanon thing that I liked so we're going with that too.
FaolenBookWolf, thanks for the review! Probably not, considering their current track record. And ooh, I like that idea….
Thanks for the review, James Birdsong! Hope the next chapters are just as entertaining! :D
Harry Potter © 1997 J.K. Rowling
After another round of tea was served (which Harry suspected had a few drops of calming draft in them), Sirius Black nee Snuffles set to explaining himself.
"We figured it was the perfect double-blind, you see," he said, sitting in a chair (with his legs tied to it) and gesturing slightly with a teacup. "Everyone would be gunning for me, and if worst came to worst Peter could turn into a rat and scurry off somewhere to hide. No one knew we were Animagi so no one would know to look for a rat, and no matter how much they tortured me, the obvious choice, I could never give away the location because I wasn't the secret keeper."
"I agree this was very clever," Dumbledore said, nodding. "Although I am at a loss as to why you didn't explain this when you were captured."
"Also the blasting curse," Lupin said, still looking steamed despite also looking like all his blood took a holiday.
"I'm getting to that," Sirius assured them. "I come to the house and find it destroyed, everyone dead except Harry—we'll just say I had to take a few minutes to compose myself and maybe kick Voldy in the face—"
"Seriously?" Fred asked, snickering.
"I'm very Sirius. So by then Hagrid shows up because Dumbledore knew something had happened—probably one of these doohickeys—"
"A couple of doohickeys, actually," Dumbledore said, pointing several out. "But we can discuss them later."
"Right. So I give Hagrid my bike and go after Peter."
"Question: why?" Ron asked.
"Because no one else knew we had switched. That was the point of switching—I figured he was in some dungeon being tortured but no, I find him perfectly fine to discover that he had gone straight to Voldy as soon as the Fidelus Charm had been cast.
"And yes I was totally ready to blow him up but he beats me to it—yells for the whole street to hear that I was the secret keeper and betrayed the Potters, and then cast the blasting curse that killed all those Muggles."
"So again, why didn't you explain any of this?" George asked.
"Well I didn't think there was any point, firstly—I was the one who suggested Peter, as far as I was concerned I was just as guilty as he was. Plus someone exploding themselves in front of you is just a tad stunning. By the time I had gotten out of my daze, I was in Azkaban."
"So the next question is how you managed to survive Azkaban," Fred said.
"We'd also add looking so well to boot, but I blame that on all the scraps at meals," George said.
Sirius shrugged. "I knew I was innocent of the killings. It wasn't a happy thought, so the Dementors couldn't take it from me. Plus being an Animagus meant I could turn into a dog for a while and escape their notice—they don't register animals as well, you see, so I could buy some relief. Really stunned Fudge when I asked him for the paper that time, but that was nothing compared to what I saw on the front page."
At this, Sirius pulled out a newspaper clipping and handed it to Lupin, who stared at it in shock.
"You know the rest of us aren't mind readers, right?" George asked. "We need you to tell us what that is."
"A newspaper clipping of the Weasley trip to Egypt," Sirius supplied. "With the rat sitting on Ron's shoulder. Well of course I recognized him immediately—how many times had I seen him transform? And missing a toe—the only part they ever found of Peter was—"
"A finger," Lupin said, looking completely floored.
"Professor Lupin, maybe you should sit down," Luna offered. Dumbledore magicked a chair behind him, which he sank heavily into as Sirius handed the paper to Dumbledore.
"Well this explains several things," Dumbledore agreed. "But not everything."
"I starved myself until I could slip through the bars as a dog, swam for shore—terrifying, by the way, don't recommend it—and started making my way to Hogwarts," Sirius explained. "Happened to run into Harry on the way there—sorry for scaring you then—but until I got here there wasn't anything to report."
"Shilling yourself as a stray?" Ron guessed, arms crossed tightly and voice a little higher than usual.
"That…actually wasn't my idea. I ran into Crookshanks—he recognized me from before and agreed to help—"
"Oh great the cat is an Animagus too!"
"Actually if it's the same cat then it's probably part Kneazle," Lupin said, still looking like his brain was in need of a restart. "They're magical creatures that can live several decades and can recognize magic such as Animagus transformations."
"Which is how he knew that I wasn't really a dog and Peter wasn't really a rat," Sirius said. "So in the initial attempts to get Peter, Snips gets involved, the loveable stray part happens, all the pets start having secret meetings and honestly I'm really concerned about what they get up to when no one's looking. Also Trevor is still a toad," he told Neville. "But he also claims he's a spy and that's where he gets off to. I'm not entirely sure if he's joking or not."
"Which brings us up to here," Harry said.
"Which brings us up to here," Sirius agreed. "I'm sorry for not saying anything sooner, but until right now I wasn't sure if anyone would actually sit down long enough to hear the whole thing."
"What was your plan when you caught Pettigrew?" Neville asked.
"Well initially the plan was to actually kill him but Snips brought up a good point about turning him in. Unfortunately someone stopped us before we actually caught the rat—"
"Now wait a minute," Lupin said, sitting up. "You never explained any of this what was I supposed to think."
"There's a castle-wide manhunt—rathunt?—there's a whole hunt for a rat and you had no concerns?"
"Up until an hour ago I was convinced Peter was dead."
"But there's still the issue of him being out there!" Hermione burst out. "And then there's you—you've been in the dorm all this time! You've eaten Harry's homework—"
"You did what? Why would you do that?"
"Reasons," Sirius said. "And to be fair I would have tried for yours too but I was afraid you'd hex me."
"I mean he ate our homework too," George said, indicating him and Fred. "But mostly because we were paying him in dog treats."
"Which is one reason why I am no longer thin enough to squeeze through prison bars. On that happy note, I'd really rather not go back to prison."
"It would probably be for the best," Dumbledore said, nodding. "Now I suppose the only thing left to do is procure the rat in question, if he can still be found."
Which was when Crookshanks came in, Snips on his back, something large and furry in the cat's mouth.
"Snips!" Harry cheered, realizing what they had.
"Crookshanks!" Hermione gasped, realization coming to her as well.
"They got him!" Ron said. "They got Sca—Pettigrew, I mean!"
"Excellent," Dumbledore said, waving his wand—Scabbers went from being in Crookshank's mouth to being in a cage on his desk in the time it took for him to flick his wand several times, sending silver shapes shooting out of the room.
And then Hagrid came in.
"Sorry I'm late," Hagrid said. "Had ta calm Buckbeak down, wouldn't let Malfoy outta the barn fer nothin'…." Trailed off, staring at Sirius. "How—"
"Ah, excellent timing, Hagrid," Dumbledore said, nodding. "I need you to escort Mr. Black here to the infirmary, I'm sure Madame Pomfrey will be wanting to conduct an examination and we don't need an attempted murder—those do things to the rug and I rather like this one."
"That's…fair," Sirius admitted, standing as the ropes were vanished. Tapped Lupin as Scabbers started panicking. "You owe me looking at these memories later."
"Oh you really want to get started on who owes what from what I understand you've eaten at least THREE MONTHS worth of homework yes I'm fixating on that first I have to unpackage this starting with what I can handle," Lupin ranted.
"I also think Professor Lupin needs more tea," Dumbledore decided, pouring him another cup. "As for the rest of you, I am forced to use the excuse that the room is about to get mighty crowded as a means to excuse you from what I am certain will be a very messy affair. Rest assured, we will be explaining it all to you later."
"What's going on?" Hagrid asked.
"We'll explain it to you later," Harry assured him.