Snips and Scars In Which Walkouts Happen, a harry potter fanfic

Chapter 69, everybody! Mrs. Malfoy will be thrilled she's making an impression.

So yeah Umbridge refers to both Remus and Hagrid as filthy half-breeds in canon and her referring to the centaurs as such is what gets her comeuppance at the end but this time around Harry has spent the last couple of years around wizards and learning wizarding bafflement and etiquette. And again, without spending a summer doing his best impression of a stripped live wire, he's keeping his head a little more. Plus…Harry, there were more things you could cite aside from the graveyard incident why didn't you.

Also…there's two lines I am absolutely going to include in the fic, and those are there's no need to call me sir, professor and have a biscuit, Potter. Years after the fact, still some of the most banging lines in the series. And Madame Pince's muttering is in reference to another Harry Potter fanfic but for the life of me I can't remember the title—it involves her and the twins and is a one-shot, I remember that much, so if anyone remembers it, let me know.

Slytherinsal, thanks for the review! True—Dumbledore had to run the interview where he agreed with Fudge and claimed that it takes a lot of practice to be properly barmy in The Quibbler, the Prophet wouldn't run that for some reason.

Juxshoa, thanks for the review! YES! And yes, he's coming….

Defense was the class that everyone was looking forward to with trepidation—Umbridge was a new teacher, and thus an unknown. Saying that, her ordering them to put their wands away and pull out their textbooks never boded well in anyone's experience. Nor was her insistence on treating them all like they were five years old, asking them to parrot back "Good morning" like they were still in primary school.

"Your education in this subject," Umbridge said, flicking her wand at the blackboard and filling it with a list titled course objectives. "Has been woefully below Ministry standards, and although having a new teacher every year may be partially the cause, the quality of teacher has definitely had something to do with it. Frauds, paranoid madmen, filthy half-breeds—"

"What was that last one?" Harry asked, suddenly running hot.

"Mr. Potter, in my class when you ask a question you are to raise your hand, wait to be called on, and then ask your question in a respectful tone. Are we clear?"

Harry set his mouth in a thin line, swallowing his first three responses—Mrs. Malfoy had been trying to cover wizard etiquette over meals, and while Sirius had declared all of it balderdash, some of it at least had sank in.

"My apologies," he said—she smiled and started to turn. "But I understand it's poor form for someone to reduce themselves to slurs, especially in a professional setting."

Her attention snapped back to him. "I beg pardon?"

"Filthy half-breed is a slur. It should be beneath you, and yet you used it in a school setting. That's not befitting your position as teacher, professor."

"Plus using it to describe one of our better teachers is really insulting," Dean said, raising his hand. "So is calling Moody a paranoid crackpot."

"Technically she called him a madman," Ron said, turning in his seat to address Dean. "Plus there was that bit where he was played by a dead Death Eater for half a semester."

"Yeah, that probably didn't reflect too well on the Ministry."

"Silence," Umbridge seethed. "All of you will read from chapter one in your textbooks, there will be no need to talk."

Harry decided that was probably the best they were going to get and cracked open his textbook. About five minutes into it, he wondered if the author had channeled Professor Binns for how dry and boring it was, was looking for the author's info page when he noticed that Hermione had her hand up. He wasn't the only one, and within five minutes the vast majority of the class felt that watching Hermione try to get Umbridge's attention was more interesting than whatever was supposed to be going on with "Basics for Beginners."

Umbridge sighed, finally turned her attention to Hermione. "Yes, Miss…."

"Granger, ma'am, Hermione Granger," Hermione said.

"Yes, what is it."

"I have a question about the course objectives."

"Oh thank you for reminding me—I want you all to copy these down in your notebooks, preferably in a place where you can see them every day to help you focus."

"Yes that's all well and good, but I don't see anything about using defensive magic."

"Excuse me?"

"I don't see where you've clarified that we'll be practicing defensive magic."

"You don't need to worry about that—understanding the theory is enough."

"I disagree," Hermione said, causing Umbridge's nostrils to flare. "In no class at Hogwarts is understanding the theory enough. Yes it gets us part of the way, but understanding how summoning or levitation charms work doesn't mean we get it right on the first try."

"Perhaps your teaching was substandard then."

"I dare you to say that to McGonagall," Ron said to Dean, snickering.

"Oh I know you're trying to get me killed now," Dean laughed.

"Silence," Umbridge seethed. "Miss Granger, we will not be practicing the act of casting spells within this class."

"Hold it," Harry said, raising his hand. "It's our OWL year—half of the exam is going to be a practical where we show that we can cast these spells. You, a Ministry official, are asking us to go into a Ministry exam and do these spells for the first time in the exam itself!?"

"Mr. Potter, seeing as how you are neither a teacher nor a Ministry official, your opinion is not the one we are going with."

"You didn't answer the question," Ron pointed out, hand raised.

"And as the teacher, you're supposed to provide clarification," Harry rejoined before she could counter. "Otherwise that's you being substandard, isn't it?"

Umbridge did not look pleased at having her wording thrown back at her. "When the time comes, if you understand the theory well enough, you will be able to practically apply it."

"So your answer to my question is yes, basically."

"Mr. Potter, that will do," she said sharply.

"I don't think it will," Harry said. "Because that's just considering our exams—we haven't even discussed practical applications outside of class."

"There will be no need for practical applications outside of class—do you really think you're going to be attacked?"

"Yes," Harry said. "Seeing as you were at my hearing you'd know that I was attacked by Dementors this summer. If it weren't for a previous Defense teacher teaching me the Patronus Charm—you might know him, he's the one you used the slur about—I and three of my friends would have most likely been Kissed by them. Not to mention the whole thing with Voldemort earlier this year."

Dead silence.

"Ten points from Gryffindor, Mr. Potter," Umbridge hissed finally, before turning her attention to the rest of the class. "The rest of you may have heard that a certain Dark wizard has returned from the dead. This is a lie."

"No it isn't," Harry said.

"You have already lost ten points, Mr. Potter—"

"I'm aware. I have nothing to gain about lying about Voldemort returning," Harry said. "And even if he wasn't back, last I checked some Death Eaters attacked the Quidditch World Cup Final last year, when Voldemort was still absent and the Ministry was supposed to have a ton of security going. Voldemort being back or not, there's still the matter of being able to defend ourselves—"

"Detention, Mr. Potter."

Harry had the feeling this had been coming up. "No."

That had everyone looking at him. "Excuse me?" Umbridge demanded.

"No," Harry repeated. "For you to give me detention, you would firstly have to be a teacher and I would have to be your student. You've already made it plain you're not actually teaching us anything. Furthermore, since this is a school for wizards and a wizard is defined as someone who uses magic, you denying us the opportunity to use magic means we're not wizards. Therefore, not only can you not assign me detention, I really have no business being in this class."

And with that, Harry packed up and headed for the door.

"Man's got a point," Ron decided, similarly packing up—Dean whooped and clapped before following suit.

By the time Harry made it to the first corner and turned, it was to see that most of the class was filing out as well.

Snips had given him a couple corridors before making an enquiring noise.

"Might as well go to the library," Harry told him. "We can get started on homework…probably the giant wars one first, might as well get the one I won't like out of the way."

Harry had picked a few books out and was sitting in a corner working when movement made him look up, thinking it was one of the other students who had also walked out and decided to start on their homework. He was entirely unprepared for it to be Professor McGonagall.

"Mr. Potter," she said over his startled babbling. "May I sit?"

"Uh—y-yes?" he noised, not sure he was liking where this was going.

She sat, looked at him over her glasses. "I just received a visit from Professor Umbridge."

Uh-oh. "Okay."

"She says that you were argumentative in class."

"A little."

"That you were disruptive."

"Probably."

"That you claimed that he-who-must-not-be-named is back."

Harry looked at her blankly. "Er—so we call Pettigrew that…."

"You-Know-Who."

"Oh. Yeah, I did."

"Did she give you detention?"

"She tried."

"Did or did you not accuse her of being fraudulent in every sense of the word?"

"Yes?"

"Did you lead a walkout of her class?"

"I think that was the end result, yes."

She nodded, checked for Madame Pince before pulling a tin out of her pocket and putting it on the table. "Have a biscuit, Mr. Potter."

"I—what?"

"Have a biscuit," she said, popping the lid off the tin. Harry checked for Madame Pince as well before taking a Ginger Newt, carefully breaking the head off before giving it to Snips.

"I want you to tread carefully around Professor Umbridge," McGonagall told him.

"Um—why?"

"Use your sense, Mr. Potter—her being here is indicative of a larger problem. You did listen to her speech at the start of term, didn't you?"

"I tried, Hermione translated. The Ministry is trying to control Hogwarts, right?"

"Indeed," she sighed. "Umbridge has the might of the Ministry behind her, and she has every intent of bringing it down on all of us. Angering her could cost you much more than house points and detention."

"I don't have to go to detention with her, do I?" Harry asked. "I sort of just flat told her no."

"I wouldn't recommend not attending her classes at the very least," she told him, standing up and collecting her tin. "If she marks you as tardy for the majority of the year then you have to retake it, and I don't think I have to tell you that that won't reflect well in your OWL year."

"Probably not," Harry agreed. "But there's gotta be something we can do."

"Short of turning the Ministry against her, I'm at a loss," McGonagall said. "Well, no, I'm not, but advocating illegal activities is not a proper thing for me to suggest. Keep your head down and study on your own time, Mr. Potter—she'll be gone soon. Hopefully," she added as she left.

"Yeah, hopefully," Harry muttered at Snips, nibbling on his cookie. Pondered on what Professor McGonagall said as he finished it up, finally stood and headed for Madame Pince's desk.

"Can I help you?" she asked finally, after a lot of angry muttering under her breath as she sorted through books—Harry caught what kind of nonsense is this censorship that's what.

"Being senior undersecretary to the Minister means you're involved with a lot of things and have your name attached to them, right?" Harry asked her.

"It does," she said, looking at him sharply. "Why?"

How'd they put it back in the day? "Sticking it to the man."

"Righteous."