Chapter 87*
Aria's POV*
"What do you mean Sara is missing?" I managed to get out passed numb lips.
Shock from what they had just said was rolling through me and I felt like the air had gotten knocked out of my lungs. Sara had to be safe in Courtland. There wasn't another answer.
"She apparently never made it to Claire's house." Spencer explained, taking over for Emily who looked too upset to talk right now. "Claire didn't even know she was going to stay with her."
"What? That doesn't make any sense. Didn't Claire's dad come and get her or something?" I tried to put everything back into an order that made sense. But everything felt jumbled.
"That's what we thought, now the police are trying to figure out who it was that came to get her." Emily's mom chimed in, her voice trembling with emotion.
I wanted to hug her, seeing the way that she curled in on herself, guilt obviously tearing at her for letting Sara disappear like that.
"But she was answering calls, right?" I couldn't accept this, was too afraid what it would mean if I did.
Did we do this?
I looked desperately at the girls, searching for understanding and answers in their faces. Spencer's jaw was set, as though she was trying to hold everything together. And Hanna looked empty, her emotions worn out.
This was real.
Sara was gone.
My posture collapsed, unable to hold my spine straight for another moment as the tremendous pressure of what had happened crashed down around me. I wanted to puke. Couldn't handle the idea of what Sara had to be going through right now. What he was doing to her. The punishments and tortures that I had been trying to work through over the last few weeks, came surging back. Unable to be contained another moment. Charles was beyond cruel. And this was bound to be worse than just us trying to escape. Sara had experienced a real taste of freedom, had a chance to be out in the world again. And then it had been snatched away from her.
And I hadn't known.
She had been gone. And we thought she was just taking some space. That she needed to heal on her own.
Distantly I felt the tears that were sliding down my face. But I was still trapped in the dollhouse, still feeling the cold bury itself beneath my skin. Still feeling his hands around my throat. What would he do to her without us there to take some of his anger? To get his attention away from her?
"What's going on?" Alison's voice sounded suddenly, drawing me out of the downward spiral of guilt that was consuming me whole.
I looked up, seeing Ali standing in the light. Her appearance so sudden that I flinched at the sight of her, untouched by the darkness of the dollhouse that marred the rest of us. Somehow still innocent in this. She had been through her own trials when she had left Rosewood. But this wasn't something that she could understand. She was too focused on getting to know her brother.
"You did this." Emily's voice was cold as ice as she turned her attention on Alison.
I saw the blonde frown, not understanding what had happened. Or what exactly she was being blamed for. She looked between the rest of us, trying to understand what was going on. But I looked over to Emily, seeing the anger that was burning behind all the fear and pain. The regret that Sara was suffering. And it was our faults. We had failed.
"What did I do?" Alison sounded too defensive, and I wondered for a moment just what she was hiding from us. Because there was something.
"Emily, we don't know that it's because of Ali." Spencer tried to calm her down, but I realized that it was going to be too little too late.
"Sara is gone." Emily spat the words out, rising to her feet as she did so. "Charles took her."
I watched the way that realization appeared on Alison's face. Her mind working fast enough to register just what was going on here. And why Emily was blaming her for Sara's disappearance.
"Emily, it's no ones fault what happened." her mom tried to soothe, moving forward.
But Emily was having none of it, her rage contorting her face as she looked at Alison. All the tenderness and forgiveness that had always been there before had fallen away.
"Yes it is. We said we weren't going to the police. And you went and told them about Charles." Emily kept her voice calm but firm. "And now Sara is gone. And it's all your fault."
"You didn't tell me why we weren't sharing with the cops." Ali tried to defend herself.
"You could have just listened and trusted us." Emily shouted back, forgetting about everyone in the room that wasn't her and Alison as she spilled our intentionally hiding things from the cops in front of two moms. "But no, it had to be your way. You needed to know your sicko brother."
"They're going to kill him." Ali nearly shrieked in defense, upset at the allegation. "Tanner said they were going to use deadly force. And I won't ever know my brother."
"You want to know your brother?" Emily questioned, closing the distance between the two of them. "Ask Aria about your brother. Or Hanna. Or Spencer. Or Mona. Or Me!"
I could hear the tears clogging her voice even as she yelled. She gestured towards us on the couch as she yelled at Ali. And I held my breath, not wanting to get involved in what seemed like a long time coming.
"Or you could have asked Sara. Since she spent three years being held prisoner by him." her voice broke, as she struggled to keep it together. "Or you could have. If you hadn't gotten her killed."
"Emily…" Alison started, wanting to comfort our heartbroken friend. But there wasn't anything she could say.
"I don't think she's dead." Hanna's voice cut through the air, and from the way that Emily's body shook, I knew she heard her.
"We're going to find her, Em. No matter what." the words were out of my mouth, needing to make it true for her. And for Sara.
I stood up and reached out to her. She collapsed as I made contact, falling into me. And I had to react quickly to catch her before we both hit the floor. She sort of dropped into a pile, head falling into my shoulder as she sobbed. My heart clenched in my chest for her, hating to see her cry like this. I wrapped my arms around her, cradling her close as we sat on the living room floor.
"You should go." Emily's mom said, her tone was flat as she spoke to Alison.
I looked up from comforting Emily to see the way that pain flashed across the blonde's face. Regret for hurting Emily again. Her eyes were misting with tears, but she nodded her head and headed for the door. Pace quickening so she could get away before she started crying too. I heard the floorboards creak beneath feet as someone moved from behind the couch towards the door.
"Aria, will you be okay here while I go check on her?" Jason's voice asked, sounding torn between what he needed to do.
I nodded, swallowing down the tears that were strangling me. "Yeah, I'm fine."
He hesitated for just one more moment, clearly debating whether that was going to be the case or not. But seemed to believe me, and headed out the door after his sister.
I buried my face in Emily's hair, holding her tighter to me. I couldn't think of anything that would make this better. It was bad enough that Sara was gone. But that we hadn't known anything about it for two weeks, that was excruciating. There was so much that we were on the verge of telling the police, thinking that it wouldn't hurt her. That we were outsmarting him. And the guilt for soothing Emily days before that Sara was just taking some space, that she didn't need to worry about her. It twisted in my gut.
"We'll give you girls a few minutes." Mrs. Hastings said, and I heard her walk away with Emily's mom.
Hanna and Spencer moved in around me, scooting the coffee table out of the way to join us in a group hug on the floor. The warmth and comfort they offered, helped to reassure me I wasn't alone right now. It stung in a way that I didn't think could after being so lonely in the dollhouse. I had been desperate to have the girls with me. And now it hurt because I knew that this comfort was something that Sara didn't have. And it was our fault.
The minutes passed, and slowly Emily calmed down a bit more. Her breathing calming after the sobs had all burst out. She was still shaking in my arms, overwhelmed by all the emotions of the day. And I understood, it felt like the sun that had been shining before had already set and the oppressive feeling of darkness was coming over us.
Eventually she pulled away, wiping the tears away from her face. Traces of liner were on her cheeks still, as she got a little more space between us.
"I shouldn't have yelled at Ali like that." she instantly regretted, and I squeezed her hand.
"It's not like the rest of us haven't yelled at her before." Hanna dismissed with a shrug.
"Still, we don't know that he took Sara because of Ali." Emily sidestepped, clearly regretting losing her cool.
"That is probably something that we should figure out then." Spencer swiped quickly at her face as she moved back to the couch, covering up any sign of the group cry we'd just had.
I looked between her and Emily, torn between being caught in the emotions and moving towards the practical reality of our lives. I wasn't exactly sure what we could do right now.
"We need to figure out what we're telling the cops." Hanna reminded, eyes darting over towards the kitchen where we could vaguely hear voices.
"I don't know that we can find Sara without them." I admitted, hesitant to admit it. "Most of our investigations haven't actually led anywhere."
It was uncomfortable to admit it. But I knew that it was true. Not that I really had a lot of trust that the cops would be able to figure anything out. But they had to have more resources now that the FBI was here, right?
"Do you think he'll hurt her more if we start talking?" Emily's voice cracked partway through the sentence, barely able to voice the fear of what he would be doing to Sara.
"I don't know that it would be any better for her if we stay quiet." Hanna reasoned, looking to Spencer for backing.
"We know what it's like for him to be mad. I don't see him going any easier on her just because we're staying quiet." Spencer contributed, and I saw the words sink in to Emily, her posture firming at the words.
"We can't just give up on her." she decided, sounding more put together than she had since I got here.
"We won't." I promised, hoping that it was something that I could keep. That we wouldn't get Sara hurt any worse than she already was. "Does that mean we're ready to tell them everything?"
I could feel the tremor in my voice at the question. The idea of admitting what had happened in New York. What it would cost me. I doubted they would believe that it was in self defense, not this many months later. That ship had sailed when Ali had lied, claiming that she was trying to protect me. But it just felt like she was trying to control us.
"My mom said she would be our lawyer." Spencer promised, reaching out to me as I moved onto the couch beside her. It was a quick assurance, but the contact brought me comfort. "I think we need to tell her what's going on. And let her take the lead with the cops."
"That'd be a good place to start." Mrs. Hastings' voice cut through the moment, and we jumped apart.
I hadn't realized that she had come back into the room. Mrs. Fields was behind her, her face streaked with tears, but she was obviously trying to hold it together now. At the intrusion, Hanna and Emily both moved off the floor. Emily taking the middle seat on the couch, sandwiched between Spencer and me, while Hanna grabbed the chair, watching the moms carefully.
"I want to help you girls, but I can't do that unless you tell me what's been going on." she made eye contact with each of us in turn, ignoring the tear streaks that marked each of our faces. "And it sounds like you've been intentionally hiding things from the cops. I need to know why."
I swallowed down the fear that lurched into my throat like vomit. Mrs. Hastings was a force to be reckoned with, her spine made of steel. And it was always the most apparent when she was dealing with the police. But now that serious expression was leveled at us, and it made me want to back away in fear. I felt the trembling start in my body, shivering on the couch. Emily reached out a hand, grasping mine in silent support as we faced the lawyer.
"We were going to tell Dr. Sullivan about what happened in the dollhouse." Hanna began, her voice completely calm. "But as we were in the waiting room, Emily got a voice call from Sara's phone. There was someone threatening to hurt Sara if we said anything about Charles."
Mrs. Fields covered her mouth, horrified at what she was learning. And I realized that she hadn't known about the danger that had been in her own home. When she thought things were safe. It had been before the police had come out, and I wondered if she was putting it together what we had been doing here the day that they released Andrew Campbell.
"So you've been withholding information from the police since then?" Mrs. Hastings looked between us, checking us for reactions. "When was that exactly?"
"It was right before they released Andrew Campbell." I offered the information.
I saw Mrs. Hastings purse her lips. She was obviously contemplating what to do with us. How bad the amount of information we had withheld from the police had impacted the case. I wondered if maybe we had told them what was going on if they could have caught Charles by now. They would have had more time knowing just who they were looking for. Or if it would have made the police start looking for Sara earlier. I winced at the thought. It wasn't a road that I wanted to walk. And I knew that it wasn't the best idea to play the what if game. There were too many chances that we had passed up over the years for things to be different. She ran a hand over her face, clearly frustrated with us.
"Alright, I'm going to set up interviews with each of you girls to meet with Dr. Reid." she explained, finding her composure once more. "But before you start sharing any information with them. I'm going to need you to tell me everything."
I felt the nausea rising back up through me. That wasn't a safe proposition. I knew that she needed to know everything that might come out during the interviews. But that didn't make it easier to share the things that we had done. All the things that Charles knew about. Or what he had done to us over the last year.
"And Pam, that means that I need to have this conversation with the girls alone." Mrs. Hastings turned back to Mrs. Fields. And I wondered then if my mom had said anything. "You're not covered by attorney-client privilege. So these are conversations that you can't be part of."
Mrs. Fields looked like she wanted to argue. But she closed her mouth and nodded, apparently understanding. I would be surprised if this hadn't already been a conversation between the moms. But it still rubbed me the wrong way.
"It's Sunday now. I can ensure that you won't have any meetings with the police or FBI until after tomorrow." she continued on, apparently reassuring us. "So we can have this conversation at my office tonight, or tomorrow."
I looked to the other girls. I wasn't sure that there would be a better time to do it than right now. I wanted to get this all over with. Worried that we would get another message from Charles, something more that would make us change our minds about telling the cops what had been going on. But looking at Emily, she seemed too raw for this conversation.
"I want to do it tonight." Emily said, confusing me.
"Are you sure?" Spencer asked, putting her arm around Emily in reassurance. "Cause we can do this tomorrow."
But Emily was shaking her head. Shutting down the attempts to take care of her.
"No." it was a full sentence, she turned her attention back to Mrs. Hastings. "The sooner we talk, the sooner we can tell the cops. And hopefully, the sooner we can get Sara back."
Her voice choked with a sob, and I leaned into her. I wasn't looking forward to having to talk to Mrs. Hastings. But if Emily could be ready today. So could I.
"Are you sure? It might not be the most comfortable conversation." Mrs. Hastings warned, showing tenderness unlike her usual tough exterior.
"I'm sure." Emily insisted.
And that answered that question. How could the rest of us say no? And if we were going to actually explain everything that happened, we for once didn't need to plan ahead of what was safe to say.
"Pam, can you call Ashley, Ella, and Byron? Let them know that the girls are going to be with me for the next few hours?" Mrs. Hastings immediately set to planning on what needed to happen. "I'll have my assistant get some dinner brought over to the office tonight, in case we run late."
My stomach flipped at that idea, that this would take hours. But there was nothing for it.
"I can drive you all over in my car." Mrs. Hastings was moving to grab her purse.
It felt so rushed. And I couldn't get my head around things as we followed her out to her car. It was an SUV, which was actually large enough for us all to fit in. I watched as Mrs. Hastings headed over to talk to the patrol car, informing them of the plan. And I settled into the back seat, ending up in the middle of Hanna and Emily. Spencer had taken the passenger seat, looking back at us while her mom was still out of the car.
"Are we sure this is the right move?" Hanna asked, voicing my concerns.
"I don't know that we can't take it back at this point." Spencer responded with a shrug, her attention fixed on her mom as she started back towards the car.
"If we don't do it now, we'll back out." I added, which was the unfortunate truth of what was our habit.
"We need to do this. Can anyone think of a better way to help Sara?" Emily questioned, and looking over at her, she was cradling her phone to her chest.
It was suspicious that Charles hadn't said anything about taking Sara. And I almost wondered if he hadn't taken her. The question from Tanner about Sara going over to my house was throwing me off. And I wondered if it nagged at the others the same way. I couldn't think of any reason that she would have been there. I barely remembered talking to her. It didn't lessen the guilt at all.
"If anyone needs a drink, let me know. We can get something brought to the office." Mrs. Hastings informed as she moved into the car, apparently deciding that we weren't going anywhere away from her.
I was honestly surprised that she had left us alone together in the car for the minute it had taken her to check in with the police. She seemed determined to get this over with. And wasn't taking a chance for us to change our minds. Or get influenced by anyone else.
"You'll also need to turn off your phones before our conversation. They can stay with my paralegal." she continued on.
And I wondered at the level of paranoia and planning she had been putting into this. With the looming threat of not being able to access my phone, I grabbed mine out of my purse. Jason and I hadn't talked about what the plan was for getting me home today. And I didn't want him to come back over to Emily's just for me to be gone.
Aria: I'm hanging out with the girls. I'll get myself home. Talk later.
I felt better to not tell him what exactly was happening. The risk of what we were doing was bad enough. I hoped that keeping him out of it would maybe isolate him from Charles' wrath. When Charles eventually found out that we were talking about him.
The drive to the law office was short. The lack of traffic on a Sunday afternoon cutting down the moderate commute to almost nothing. Not to mention that we still had a police escort. Which was unsettling to me, that they followed our car. Parking outside the office as Mrs. Hastings pulled into her reserved parking space in the little lot.
She led us into the building, digging out an access card for the office and opening the doors for us. It was a fairly small office building, but apparently it had a security guard who stayed at the reception desk all the time. Even on a weekend. It was a weird world to walk into, as we followed Mrs. Hastings upstairs, she had us bypass signing into the visitors log, giving a severe look to the security guard who opened her mouth.
In just a few minutes, we were settled into a large conference room, a massive round table in the center of the room with more than enough seats for us all. I grabbed a seat facing the door, appreciating the solid support behind me.
"Alright, does anyone need any water before we get started?" Mrs. Hastings asked, placing a pitcher of water in the center of the table with the tray of glasses. When no one responded, she continued. "I have a meeting with the DA tomorrow morning. I'm intending on making a deal, based off of what Dr. Reid has said that they only care about catching Charles. Not pressing charges against you girls for any minor indiscretions you might have committed trying to get answers."
I felt my breathing pause, waiting for the other shoe to drop. This was a chance that I couldn't have actually hoped for. Mostly because I knew not everything that we would likely need to share, or might come up would be considered a minor indiscretion. What did that even mean?
"That means that before you talk to them, I need to know what all you're going to be sharing. Any crimes that you might have committed. Any accidents that happened." she looked between each of us, her eyes lingering on me for a moment before continuing. "I'm your lawyer. That means that I can't reveal any information that you've shared with me. Unlike anyone else in your life."
I swallowed the lump that was growing in my throat. My mom must have told her. That was the only thing that I could think of. She knew about what happened in New York. And was trying to get us talking about it. I wanted to cry. Wanted to scream and sob. Afraid of facing what was sure to come.
"What about other people?" Hanna asked, glancing between us before making eye contact with Mrs. Hastings. "Some of the things we know, it's other people who could get in trouble. Can you do anything about that?"
Mrs. Hastings frowned, clearly evaluating what all we knew. What other crimes we might have information about. It seemed like the veil that had been covering her eyes, blocking out the truth of our lives for her, was being pulled back. And she was finally seeing just what we were living. I wasn't sure that this would make Spencer feel any safer further down the line. Her household was about to get real uncomfortable.
"I can't make any promises. Not even about what all I can help you girls avoid sharing about your own actions." Mrs. Hastings admitted, and my heart sunk into my stomach. "But if I know what information is going to be shared, I can do my best to ensure that none of you go to jail. And maybe we can try to do the same for others."
And I worried for a moment, about what that would mean about my dad. Had his affair with Meredith been actually illegal? Or Hanna's mom? Or Mona? Or Ezra? Alison? Over the years the little things had started to grow. Slowly it hadn't seemed like an invasion of privacy, or even illegal to do something like breaking into Leslie Stone's lab. Not to mention that Hanna had basically stolen her car. And that was just in the last couple of weeks. Where did letting Toby take the fall for blinding Jenna land on the scale?
"The police seem to be focused mainly on catching Charles." Mrs. Hastings continued as I was working through the impact of this decision to spill everything. "So that's where we need to keep the focus as well. We'll work everything else out later."
Silence filled the room as she finished, apparently she had wrapped up the little spiel about what we needed to be informed of before we started talking. And the fear that this was a mistake surged back up in me. That talking now wouldn't help anything.
"Where do we even start?" Spencer asked, her voice more calm and collected than I could manage right now.
"We've got plenty of time today." her mom answered, pouring herself a glass of water and taking a drink. As though demonstrating just how much time we really had for this. "So let's start at the beginning. When exactly did this all start?"
I looked at the other girls, bracing myself for where we needed to start. The original lie seemed like the best place.
"Let's start with the Jenna thing."
End Chapter*
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