Senator Amidala closed the door to the Naboo senatorial office, and smiled.
"All right," she said. "Knight Kenobi, Padawan Skywalker. I'm glad the two of you were available."
"We are, of course, at the disposal of the Senate," Obi-Wan said.
"And I can guess what the problem is," Anakin added. "Can't you, Master?"
"Of course, my young padawan," Obi-Wan replied. "But what about if the Senator explains?"
"To put it simply, then," the Senator said. "The Supreme Chancellor would like to know what in the galaxy the Kaminoans are talking about."
Anakin blinked.
"You don't know?" he asked. "He doesn't know?"
"The Senate has some idea of some details, but at this point some or all of them could be incorrect," Padme replied. "And the Chancellor wanted me to try and understand the specifics."
"That… could be a problem," Obi-Wan admitted. "Because the Council doesn't have much idea either."
"We were speaking with them for over an hour," Anakin contributed. "Master is one of the better diplomats in the Jedi Order… we were actually told to try and find out who in the Senate might know what's going on."
Padme frowned, slightly. "You mean you were trying to find out if someone in the Senate had done this?" she asked. "But the army was ordered for the Jedi."
"So we've been told," Obi-Wan replied. "Obviously, it's only been a few hours, but we haven't been able to come to any conclusions – and, to put it bluntly, Senator, it could be that this army was ordered with the blame being placed on the Jedi in order to confuse the issue."
Padme considered that.
"Possible, but I don't think it's likely," she said. "Whoever ordered this army clearly had a reason behind what they were doing, we just don't know what it is."
"Which means we're just going around in circles," Anakin concluded.
"Perhaps, but simply hearing it from Padme has been useful," Obi-Wan said. "I hope you'll keep us informed if you learn anything?"
"Of course," Padme smiled. "The two of you helped save my planet, Obi-Wan, Ani. You're friends."
"The Jedi Order teaches us to avoid attachment," Anakin said, then grinned slightly. "But friends don't count, right?"
"If friends did count, then I don't think most of the Order would be very happy," Obi-Wan replied.
"Yeah, true," Anakin agreed. "I think Yoda still sends holocalls to his last padawan."
"Is there something unusual about that?" Padme asked.
"It's… more of Order business than anything," Obi-Wan said. "My padawan really shouldn't have passed on gossip like that. It's not going to do him any good when it comes to whether he'll be knighted."
"Master," Anakin complained. "You said I had nothing to worry about!"
"And you seem determined to prove me wrong," Obi-Wan replied. "Perhaps you can prove me wrong about proving me wrong about that."
Anakin's lips moved.
"...okay?" he tried. "I'll do my best, Master."
"In that case, Anakin, I will have nothing to worry about," Obi-Wan replied.
Padme smiled.
"So what are you going to do with the army, anyway?" she asked.
"That's a very good question, but you should probably ask one of the members of the Council," Obi-Wan replied.
"Master, everyone knows you're going to be on the Council some time soon," Anakin said.
"And I'm not one yet, and everyone doesn't include me," Obi-Wan pointed out. "But… really, that does depend on who and why there would be an order of over a million clones to fight for the Jedi. The only possibility I can think of is the Sith, but… why would the Sith order an army for the Jedi?"
"If it's a Sith plot, do you have any chance of unravelling it?" Padme asked, worried. "You stopped whatever they were trying to do with Naboo."
"Did we?" Obi-Wan asked.
"No, I mean you, specifically," Padme replied. "And you, Anakin. The Droid Control Ship was key to whatever it was they were doing, and Obi-Wan killed a Sith."
"And there's been no sign of the other in a decade," Obi-Wan said, thinking back to the Naboo crisis. "Though… now I come to think about that particular series of events, Senator, I do have to ask whether a specific member of the Senate was involved."
"With the Sith?" Padme asked.
"There's got to have been some Senators working with the Sith, back then," Anakin pointed out.
"Perhaps, but that's not what I mean," Obi-Wan explained. "I mean the clone army. Because if there is anyone who could accidentally order an army, it is the junior Senator from Naboo."
He turned, to direct something that was not quite a glare at Senator Binks. "Isn't that right, Jar Jar?"
"Mesa not as bad as all dat," Jar Jar protested. "Mesa been doing quite well for mesa self in the last ten years. Mesa has been takin' classes on avoidin' disaster and not bein' clumsy."
"Perhaps you have," Obi-Wan said, relenting slightly. "But you must admit, Jar Jar, that certain events have given you a reputation it will take many years to live down yet."
Jar Jar sighed.
"Mesa knows dat," he admitted. "Theres-a all kinds of jokes about mesa. It seems like even when mesa floatin' legislation, people makin' jokes about waterfalls."
Obi-Wan nodded, closing his eyes for a moment.
"I apologize, Jar Jar," he said. "It's easy for me to forget that you have to deal with that reputation all the time."
"Yeah," Jar Jar said.
"Speaking of which," Anakin began. "Did anyone ever figure out how that happened? If they did, I missed it."
"Mesa has said it over and over again," Jar Jar protested. "Mesa was simply showin' the bombad Chancellor-Elect the really pretty bits of Theed that mesa wasn't sure that he'sa seen before, and mesa was wavin' mesa hands around, and mesa… made a boopjak, big mistake."
"The Chancellor-Elect fell three hundred and eighty metres," Obi-Wan said. "Then he hit the ground, and exploded. It put something of a damper on the celebrations."
"Jar Jar does know this," Padme pointed out. "And he's heard it over and over. He's done his very best to put it behind him, and is as valued an ally of Chancellor Stonk as I am."
"Hesa was a big supporter of rebuildin' Naboo!" Jar Jar said, brightening as he rebounded in the way only he could. "Stonks even gone to the moon!"
"I heard about the colonization project of Ohma-D'un," Anakin said, interested. "Do you think the terraforming equipment could be used to help make a planet less dry and sandy?"
He frowned. "Actually, Master… could we use the army for that? The only reason the Republic won't do anything about Outer Rim slavery is that it would mean building an army, right?"
Padme looked interested, but frowned.
"We'd probably need to find where it came from, first," she said. "But… I'll definitely suggest it, Ani."
She smiled. "Assuming the Senate gets any say in what to do with the army, of course."
AN:
Continuing the run of things going very badly for Palpatine, here's one where they're in the best timeline but don't know it.
And yes, Stonk is a canonical Senator. An Ithorian, in fact.