Chapter 28: One Last Morning In This Ruined Village!

"Radiant Splendor of Divine Might! Ultimate Explosion of Swords!"

Their magic combined into a cacophony of arcane and divine magics, spiraling into a drill of red and gold light that pierced through the very heavens themselves before arching back down and piercing the Chaos Chimera directly in the chest. It seemed that Sylvia was not as heartless as they had thought, as the lance of cursed holy light struck her through what was left of her heart and caused the chimera to let out a horrid scream that shook what was left of the dark woods down to the roots.

Then, with a force that could level even the mightiest of mountains, the magic bolt exploded, blasting the horrendous monster's patchwork body into oblivion such that not even a single scale of its draconic hide was left to regenerate from. The battle was over. The Last Daughter of Crimson had finally avenged her clan.

"It's over," Yunyun said as if she were trying to convince herself of the fact, using all of her remaining strength just to stay on her feet after exhausting her entire magical supply in that last spell. "We've finally defeated her."

"Yes," the God of Conquest nodded. Even he had grown physically exhausted, the god's usual radiant golden glow dimming to a dull ochre. "I'm just sorry that I couldn't do anything for your people."

Yunyun turned her weary gaze to her divine paramour, a single tear welling in her crimson eye.

"There's no use dwelling on the past. We can only move forward." She caressed one gentle hand over her slightly bulging belly, which was just beginning to tighten her formerly loose dress. "My friends and family may have fallen at the hands of that vile demon but the Crimson Demons will live on through our bloodline. I just wish that you could stay with me to raise our child."

The nameless god cast his gaze upon the heavens sorrowfully for a moment before turning back to his beloved.

"Perhaps I will," he said at last, though his voice was strained.

"What?" The Crimson Demoness gasped. "But you can't? If you stay here much longer, you'll lose your divinity for good!"

The god looked down at his arms, his radiant glow growing fainter by the moment. "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."

Yunyun could no longer hold back her tears as he lunged forward, pulling her lover into a tight hug.

"I couldn't ask for more," she cried. "And don't call me Frankly! My name is Yunyun!"

That earned a lighthearted chuckle from the god as he returned the embrace.

"As you've made it abundantly clear since the day you freed me from that thrice-damned puzzle box," he said, a wistful tone to his voice. "You know, I had a name once and I think I've finally remembered what it is."

Yunyun stared expectantly into the god's brilliant scarlet eyes as she pulled away to arm's length from him.

"Hello, Yunyun," he said, causing the young woman's heart to skip a beat at finally hearing her name pass his supple lips. "My name is Keimacilius, but you can call me Keima."

No longer able to contain her lust, Yunyun tore open Keima's shirt, dancing her fingers against his ruggedly chiseled chest. He did the same, letting her ample bosom spill out, ready for him to-

"Nope, no, not reading that!"

Keima quickly skimmed through the poorly written smut, turning over three pages before he abruptly found himself at the end of the manuscript. Setting the thick stack of handwritten parchment down on the table, he looked the offending author sitting across from him in the eyes. Or rather, eye, because her other one was covered by a red and gold eye patch that made the girl look like she could be Megumin's older sister, even though the two were supposedly the same age. It was a wonder how much malnutrition had messed up his deranged party member's physical development compared to her peers.

"Well?" Arue asked expectantly. "What do you think?"

"Well, that was technically better than the sample of your last draft I heard," Keima admitted. "And the fact that you managed to somehow write an entire novel last night is impressive."

"Not as impressive as you reading the whole thing in less than half an hour," she said.

"I'm very good at speed reading," was his reply.

"So, I take it you liked it?" Arue asked hopefully.

"I didn't say that," Keima shook his head. "First off, don't just use the people you know as characters in your novels, especially when you're writing smut. Do you have any idea how uncomfortable it is to read porn written about yourself? Also, my name is not short for Keimacilius."

"I do take some creative liberties, I also set the story five years in the future. Also, Chief Hiropon didn't complain when I put him and his late wife in The Demon Chief's Passion. Speaking of which…" Arue pulled a copy of the book in question out of… somewhere and opened it up to the front page to sign it before sliding the book over to him. "It doesn't officially come out until the next blood moon but if anyone's earned an advanced copy, it's our resident savior, our future chief consort, my latest muse and the new god of the Crimson Demons."

"You should also probably cut down on the H-scenes," Keima continued, ignoring her. "At least until you're older. Right now, they mostly just show how little you seem to know about the subject. I'm pretty sure it's not even physically possible for a man to have a-"

"Good morning!"

"-twelve-inch penis."

Keima froze. He hadn't had time to register the familiar voice in time to cut himself off, and he slowly turned around. He barely even noticed the clatter of a plate full of pancakes slipping from Yunyun's fingers onto the floor. The girl's face seemed to be doing its best impression of an old thermometer suddenly being placed next to a fire before she suddenly ran off in a panic, flailing and screaming. "I'm not ready for this!"

"I'm going to get in so much trouble for that," Keima grumbled as he turned back to Arue. "I blame you entirely."

The girl, who he was pretty sure didn't need that eye patch any more than Megumin did, just smirked at him, raising her hand in front of her covered eye.

"Don't think that you can just push the blame onto me! You have made your own bed of poisoned thorns and must now lie on it!" she said in a melodramatic tone before shifting into a more 'normal' (for a Crimson Demon) voice. "You seem to be quite the critic. Are you a writer, too?"

"No, just a fan of the genre," Keima replied. It wasn't entirely accurate, but trying to explain dating sims and visual novels would be too much of a challenge even without having to hide the fact that he was from another world.

"Well, that's a shame," Arue sighed. "I was starting to think that you may make a worthy rival. Have you never considered taking up the quill and unleashing your dark conjurings upon the world?"

Keima opened his mouth to say no again but hesitated. Now that he thought about it, he really didn't have anything else to do. His PFP was gone and there was no use in pretending that he would ever have access to his beloved galge collection again. He also didn't have the task of defeating the Devil King hanging over his head, so he had no reason to continue risking his life as an adventurer. He had to have something to occupy his time, though, and romance novels seemed like the closest he'd ever get to his old passions. But if Arue was any indication, which he sincerely hoped she wasn't, then Belzerg was likely quite lacking in any quality literature.

Perhaps he should start writing? He was familiar enough with the genres and did have some experience with it through his old blog. Though, admittedly, that was closer to journalism than fiction writing.

Before he could say anything, however, his attention was pulled away by Elsie walking up to them, taking a bite from an apple before feeding the rest of the blood-red fruit to the boa draped over her shoulders and taking a seat next to him. She looked a bit haggard from the stressful night of fighting off a giant evil hybrid monster of doom but he was sure he probably did as well. Considering everything that had happened, it was actually something of a miracle that-

Wait…

"Where did you get that snake?" Keima grumbled, referring to the large reptile coiled around Elsie's shoulders and arms. The snake in question was clearly some kind of constrictor, the scales on its head a dark, almost charcoal-like color that gave way to a brilliant red running the length of its back and a deep tan over its belly. Keima could swear that he'd seen a very similar color scheme on a serpentine being not too long ago. "Please tell me that isn't General Sylvia."

"What, no~!" Elsie replied unconvincingly. "Don't be ridiculous, this is Sylv-uh, um… antro? Yes, this is Silantro."

The snake shot her a nasty look, clearly not happy with that name.

"What a beautiful familiar," Arue said, leaning over to scratch the snake's chin. Keima was fairly sure that they weren't supposed to purr when you did that. "And a fitting tribute to your victory over the vile yet vivacious villainess Sylvia."

"Fine, then," Keima sighed. "But are you sure you're ready for a pet? Taking care of a living being is a lot of responsibility."

"Of course I am," Elsie replied. "I'm not a child!"

"Sometimes you act like one," Keima rolled his eyes. "Where did you even get that thing?"

"Oh, well, I, uh…" Elsie stammered, her eyes darting every which way as she tried to come up with an excuse. "I found her in the woods?"

"There are many dark and mysterious animals lurking in the forest," Arue nodded sagely.

"You can't just take a wild animal from its home," Keima insisted, though he was sure that the snake wasn't wild. Even if it wasn't obviously the chimera they'd just fought so hard to defeat, she was much too calm for an animal being paraded around an unfamiliar environment full of people. "Put that thing back where it came from."

"No!" Elsie took a step back, putting an arm over the snake's head defensively. "I'm keeping her! It's like Arue said, she's my new familiar. I can't just get rid of her!"

"What does that even mean?" Keima asked, turning back to the Crimson Demon sitting across from him.

"A familiar is a mage's animal companion," Arue stated matter-of-factly.

"I know that part," Keima muttered. "But what, specifically, does that mean? Elsie's not even a mage. She's a black knight, or whatever."

"Dark Knight," Elsie corrected him.

"When someone in tune with the dark arts wishes to bolster their powers, they will often seek out magical animals or demonic creatures to assist them in their spellcraft," Arue explained. "What benefits the familiar offers vary and the secrets behind them are as mysterious as they are potent. Usually, this is done by calling them forth from other plains of existence through advanced summoning magic but others will seek out their familiars in the wild. That was how Megumin found her familiar, Chomusuke."

"I was wondering what was up with that thing," Keima said. "There's definitely something off about that cat. Ouch!"

Keima practically jumped out of his seat, startled by a bite to his ankle. He looked down to see the 'cat' in question glaring up at him angrily.

"What's everyone talking about?" Megumin's voice came from behind Keima before she took a seat next to him on the cafeteria bench with a platter full of pastries she'd grabbed from the kitchen. Her plate wasn't nearly as full as the similar one that Komekko had brought, though.

"Say hello to my new familiar!" Elsie said excitedly, turning so that they could get a better look at the snake. "Her name is Silantro!"

The supposed snake still clearly didn't like that name.

"Oh, wow, that's so cool!" Megumin said excitedly, her eyes lighting up before she suddenly picked up her cat. "But still not as cool as my familiar, though!"

"Pretty snaky!" Komekko giggled, leaning forward to try and pet 'Silantro'. To Keima's mild surprise, the snake actually moved over so that she could reach its head.

"Keima was just telling me that he wasn't going to let me keep her, though." Elsie shot him a dark look.

"What?" Megumin cried in outrage, then rounded on him. "You can't take away a mage's familiar! That's like cutting off her head!"

"Elsie isn't a mage," Keima pointed out again. "She's a martial class!"

"Well, I can use magic," she pointed out, not helping his argument as she cast a quick Tinder in the air above her hand for a second.

"Ugh, fine," Keima grumbled. "You can keep the damn snake even though she's clearly just Sylvia in disguise. I still don't get this whole familiar thing, though."

"Maybe you'll understand one day when you have one of your own," Arue said knowingly even though to his knowledge, she didn't have one, either.

"Hey, where's Yunyun?" Megumin suddenly asked. "I thought she'd get here before us."

"I don't know," Arue smirked at Keima. "Where is Yunyun?"

"Nothing happened!" he snapped defensively. "It was a misunderstanding!"

Ko! * No! * Su! * Ba!

Chief Hiropon nodded to himself as he made his way through the town, inspecting the repairs. It was hard to imagine that just last night, there had been almost nothing left of their village but that was only to be expected. The Crimson Demons were the best there was at what they did and what they did was almost everything. Most of the houses had already been rebuilt thanks to the reconstruction magic their clan had perfected and some of the townsfolk had already started moving on to the shops.

As he made his way through town square, however, he came to a stop in front of the large marble pillar in the middle of the plaza surrounded by benches and shrubs, his content smile giving way to a concerned frown.

"What's this?" he asked once he heard a pair of hurried footsteps running up to him and turned to see Contorio, the construction foreman, in a panic.

"I can explain," Contorio said, wiping the sweat from his brow as he came to a stop.

"Where's the griffin statue?" he half shouted at the panicked foreman.

"Well, you see," he started, "the statue was shattered during last night's battle, so I had to use Restoration to repair it."

Hiropon nodded along, waiting for what he knew was coming.

"But we kind of overdid the spell and, well, with my dark powers of construction being what they are, I may have sort of unmade the statue."

Hiropon could feel the vein popping on his forehead that always flared up when he got angry, a trait that he hadn't even been consciously aware of until his wife had pointed it out to him one day after their neighbor had accidentally caught their lawn on fire one evening. Oh, how he missed her.

"So you're saying that my grandfather's griffin statue, which he made with his own bare hands and which has served as an icon of our village ever since that day as one of the first things that new visitors see after entering our humble town, is just gone," he said slowly, trying to keep his temper under control.

The middle-aged construction mage just nodded weakly. Fortunately, before Hiropon could say anything that he might regret, a loud, shrieking cry rang out from behind him, followed by the beat of heavy wings beating quickly.

"Ah, there you are," Hiropon turned on his heels, holding his right hand out with his fingers spread while bringing his left hand up next to his face with the palm facing away from him and his fingers pointing in roughly the direction of his chin. "My family's mortal nemesis, come for another round!"

The recently revived griffin flew around chaotically, clearly disoriented after having been, until recently, a hunk of inanimate stone for almost seventy years. The beast eventually fell into the stone-paved pathway, unable to fly properly after decades of not being able to move at all. The proud animal quickly picked itself up off the ground, however, and looked around with its white, feathery head whipping around in every direction before finally spotting the chief. A sense of recognition seemed to shine in its golden eyes and it turned its attention solely to him.

"That's right, eyes on me, birdbrain," Hiropon said, assuming a defensive stance as he readied for a fight against the avian lion. Or was it a feline eagle? The distinction wasn't particularly important. What was important was the horse-sized creature stepping forward and snapping its beak in his direction. "Wait for it…"

The griffin flared its wings out in a display of dominance, clearly hoping to intimidate him into backing down from the fight. It was almost insulting that the griffin thought it could scare him away.

"Wait for it…"

The griffin took another two steps forward before rearing up onto its hind legs, screeching into the morning sky while beating its wings through the air.

"Now!" Hiropon shot his hand forward, gripping the air as if trying to grab the beast's throat. "Petrify!"

A bolt of dull gray magical energy shot out from his outstretched hand and washed over the griffin. Before the monster could properly react, it was already too late. Its movements stiffened as its bones and tendons turned to stone, which spread out to its flesh before finally the entire griffin was nothing more than a statue of itself.

"I don't think it was posed like that before," Contorio said, finally starting to calm down now that the danger had passed. The danger being Hiropon's anger at the statue's disappearance, of course, not the rampaging monster that had just tried to attack them. "It was more like this."

Hiropon watched as the grown man squatted down on all fours, doing his best to look like a smug cat trying to pretend that it didn't just eat your pet fish.

"You look ridiculous," Hiropon told him. "It was like this "

The chief then crouched down to his knees, placing his hands on the ground between his legs with his fingers spread out and sliding his shoulders back.

"Oh, right." Contorio adjusted his posture to match Hiropon, then pulled back his head and turned slightly to the side. "And I think it had its tail up, like this."

The foreman moved one of his arms back, trying to replicate what he was talking about.

"No, no, it was more like this." Hiropon did the same.

"What on Earth are you doing?"

The chief turned to see his son-in-law walking up to him, a scandalized look behind his glasses.

"Ah, Keima, my boy!" Hiropon exclaimed, quickly straightening up and walking over to him. "Come to check up on the rebuilding efforts?"

"No, you've clearly got that under control." Keima shook his head before gesturing to his sister and Hyoizaburo's daughters behind them. "I actually just wanted to let you know that we're heading back to Axel. It's already been a couple days and we didn't even let our party members know we were leaving. They'll probably be getting worried if they don't hear from us soon and knowing them, they'll probably end up doing something rash and almost certainly stupid."

"Ah, right, of course," Hiropon nodded, taking a step forward to shake Keima's hand. "It has been an honor to have you here and thank you again for what you've done for the village. If there's anything we can ever do for you, feel free to let me know."

"Of course, I-ah!"

As soon as Keima grabbed his hand, Hiropon pulled the unsuspecting boy into a bearhug, then held an arm out for Elsie to join in as well, which she readily did. They were family now, after all, even if Keima's engagement to his daughter was mostly a formality. Speaking of his daughter…

"By the way, where's Yunyun?" he asked as he broke off the hug. "Shouldn't she be with you?"

"I was hoping that you would know," Keima said, eyeing the chief warily as he quickly pulled away. "She's our ride home, after all."

"Hm, it's not like my daughter not to want to be with her friends," Hiropon scratched his chin, pondering the possibilities. However, he was mildly distracted by the sense of pride knowing that his daughter finally had friends to be around. "This can only mean one thing!"

"Please don't say it," Keima sighed.

"She's been kidnapped!" Hiropon declared dramatically, raising a hand skyward. "Some nefarious neerdowell has absconded with my precious baby girl and we must work together to rescue her from their vile clutches!"

"It must have been a survivor of the Devil King's army!" Megumin chimed in, slapping on the eyepatch which sealed her dark powers. "They thought they could get away with spiriting away with my most worthy rival but they were wrong! They shall rue the day they crossed Megumin, Mistress of Explosion Magic!"

"I wasn't kidnapped!" Everyone turned to see Yunyun storming over to them, an adorable pout on her face. "Why do you always think that every time you can't find me?"

"Ah, my beautiful daughter!" Hiropon lunged forward, pulling his daughter close and swinging her through the air despite her protests. "You've defeated your kidnappers on your own and returned to us safely! Just as I knew you would!"

"I just said that I wasn't kidnapped!" she insisted once she was solidly on firm ground again and walked over to her party. "I just wanted to make sure that the guys fixing our house got my room put together right. Last time, they put the floor in sideways and one of by bookcases was upside down."

"Last time?" Keima asked. "Wait, how often does your village get destroyed?"

No one came forth to answer his question, which Keima clearly took as an answer in its own right.

"So, are you sure you don't want to stay another night?" Hiropon asked, changing the subject.

Keima shook his head. "I've had enough craziness for one trip. If we stay, there'll probably be an alien invasion or something we'll have to deal with."

"We'll be sure to come back soon, though," Elsie said cheerily.

"Then I guess this is goodbye for now," Hiropon said, wiping away at his wet cheeks. "What a terrible day for rain."

"It's not raining," Elsie said, looking up at the cloudless sky in confusion.

"Control of Weather," Hiropon whispered under his breath, conjuring up a rainstorm to verify his statement. He could hear several shouts of protest from the workers nearby but ignored them. "As I said, a terrible day for rain."

"Hey, you can't just-" Megumin started to argue before Keima held his arm out in front of her and wordlessly shook his head. His son-in-law may have been something of an odd duxion but he still understood a man's pride.

"Then unless there's something else, we should get going," Keima said. "Our bags are getting wet."

Hiropon nodded, giving them one last look. While their party had arrived in the village with scarce but the clothes on their backs and a handful of items, it seemed they were now leaving with several heavy bags filled no doubt with gifts from the villagers as thanks for saving their humble abode from the vile clutches of Sylvia. In addition, Hiropon noted that Elsie had picked up a charming red and brown snake familiar somewhere, no doubt with some dark and mysterious backstory.

"Very well," he said, saluting the group. "Until we meet again, for the last time."

"Goodbye, Daddy! I'll write you when we get back." Yunyun waved before grabbing everyone's hands. "Teleport!"

Just like that, the group was gone. Hiropon let out a sigh, standing alone in the rain. With his daughter and her friends gone, it seemed everything was back to normal.

"Chief! An army of treants are marching out of the woods and attacking the village!"

Just boring, ordinary life.

"Chief! The sea serpent we put in the lake last Spring turned out to be a baby Leviathan and has risen from the lake to destroy us all!"

Why couldn't anything interesting ever happen?

"Chief! We just got word from Arcanletia! They say the city was recently attacked by Hans the Deadly Poison Slime and they're requesting our aid in the repairs."

Little did he know what dark fates awaited him in the not-so-distant future.

Ko! * No! * Su! * Ba!

In the next exciting chapter of God's Blessing, God Knows: A Day Out For This Burnt-Out Mage!

The guild hall was about as empty as could be expected in the early afternoon. Most adventurers were off on quests, with only a handful hanging around to get a decent lunch at a reasonable price. Keima certainly didn't mind the lack of a crowd but Megumin seemed annoyed that there weren't as many people to show off her adorable little sister to. But, that just meant more attention from the people who were there.

In the dead of night, two figures soared across the moonlit sky silhouetted against the dark clouds above. The forests of Axel were filled with giant bats that would often leave the woods at night in the hunt for food, so as long as you kept your pets indoors it wasn't a sight worth noticing. Only a seasoned expert on monster behavior would realize that giant bats preferred to avoid larger settlements like Axel, preferring instead to hunt in undeveloped areas or farms where they could easily snatch a meal before getting chased off.

A young girl, maybe about Megumin's age at the oldest, with short green hair full of flowers and an arm and a leg wrapped in bandages stained red with blood, was sitting on a log nearby. Judging from her long, pointy ears, she was probably an elf. The first that Kazuma had seen up close since arriving in this world, now that he thought about it. More pressing than that, however, was the disgusted look on the poor girl's face as she stared at the trio in horror, tears welling up in her eyes. It was clear that she had just heard everything.

Author's Notes: I don't think that I really have much to say about this chapter. It's mostly just wrapping up the Crimson Demon Village arc and setting up Keima's next little mini-arc over the next couple chapters until the team is finally all together again. Oh, and also a brief introduction of Elsie's new familiar, Silantro the snake, who is definitely not important and is in no way related to any former Devil King Generals. That would be silly.

Oh, one notable thing did come up. I remembered putting a reference to Hiropon having a copy of Arue's soon-to-be-published semi-biographical book sitting on his desk with a bunch of bookmarks sticking out of it during the scene where he talks with Keima in his office, so I went back to check that chapter to see what the title was so I could reference it here again. I couldn't find any reference to that, though, even though I distinctly remembered having written it, and assumed that I must have cut the gag while rewriting the scene or something. Turns out the book was actually referenced in Yunyun's PoV scene just before Keima and Hiropon's duel. I'm sure that The Demon Chief's Passion will be a smashing success when it hits store shelves. Not as much as the sequel that she'll write in a couple years, though, The Crimson Demon and the Winter Witch. Hmm, I wonder what that one will be about?