A Marriage that Started a Legend

by IJustShowedUp

Follows canon but with my own arranged marriage spin on it. What happens when Hunith makes a mistake and is forced on the run with her infant son? What happens when Camelot knights find her twenty years later? What happens when Arthur learns he's betrothed to a peasant boy? Will Merlin be able to stand among royalty? Will these two different boys survive each other? Review!

157. Chapter 159

Gaius was actually having a peaceful morning all to himself, as he finally got a break in his morning long enough to place Merlin's empty breakfast bowl into a wash basin. The old physician shook his head fondly, remembering the way his nephew had choked and sputtered before sending his soup straight down the front of his tunic. Such a clumsy boy, Gaius continued thinking as he carefully scrubbed the bowl clean and set it aside to wash. His chambers happened to be extraordinarily quiet, without Merlin there to liven the place up. But he had been keeping himself busy while waiting for his nephew to return from going after those herbs Gaius needed.

He'd spent quite some time maintaining the potion he had been working on all morning, finally taking it off the little flame that had been keeping it warm and packaged it up, all ready to be used at the first opportunity approached. It was a simple pain tonic, but a powerful one, nonetheless. Afterwards, he spent this good chunk of time on reading one of the newest tomes he had ordered, it was meant to be the latest edition on the newest discoveries and advances created in the last five years pertaining to medical. Gaius preferred using the methods he had always used, as they had never failed himself. But he also liked getting caught up, just in case there were alternative solutions he hadn't thought of…though he did have a few of his 'own' experimental methods that got published in the book. Gaius didn't just take things at face value when looking toward the work of others, he liked honing his own skills and making his own discoveries.

And now Gaius was here, finally getting around to doing some small household chores that had needed to be done, like cleaning up their breakfast area. This wasn't something Gaius had been concerned about much before, he had this habit where he allowed his work to consume him. Leaving dishes piled off onto the side, not sweeping as much as he should, the dust had always been some of the worse problems he had with keeping the place clean. It wasn't exactly something that had bothered him before, even now he still kept many of those books he had scattered about in disarray heaps. But with Merlin's place more official and permanent, he had been trying to make the place…somewhat more conductive and healthy for a teenager to be living in. It didn't always work out as Gaius wanted it too, but he did remember more than he had before Merlin had moved in with him.

Though speaking of Merlin, Gaius frowned heavily as a worry crease formed in the center of his brow, it had been quite some time since he had left. The aged physician hoped this simply meant Merlin was taking far too much care toward which herbs he wanted to bring to Gaius, and not because he had gotten into a spot of trouble again. He really hoped it hadn't been too soon to send Merlin out into the world. It was possible that this entire thing had been just one giant mistake. But…Gaius set the breakfast bowl aside so that it would be able to dry faster…he couldn't hold onto Merlin as tight as he wanted too. What would the alternatives be if Merlin didn't start striking out on his own? Staying inside and just letting life pass him by? No. Merlin had done went down that path when he had been dealing with his depression the hardest, and the only thing it did was make him more and more miserable. Though then again…being out and about had done him no favors either, thought Gaius as he remembered the time that Merlin had ran from him after Gaius had found him having a panic attack inside of a storage closet.

And it was so hard getting people to see sense or reason, when it went against everything they believed in.

And Merlin was out there with little to no defenses…

Gaius stopped this train of thought before it could send him spiraling…he truly had no idea how his sister had managed to send Merlin here without following after him. If this…constant worrying that something bad was going to happen was in anyway similar to how a mother felt having to say goodbye to their only child, his admiration for the woman rose greatly. He couldn't imagine raising a child like Merlin for nineteen years, only to have him taken away. He wondered if even now, months after Merlin had gone from her bosom, if she still caught herself fraught with worry over what could be happening to him. And what she might say if she knew Gaius wasn't doing nearly as good of a job keeping him safe like she had pleaded for him to do in the letter Merlin had given him when he first arrived. Gaius wrung out the washcloth he had used on the bowl with a bit more gusto and force than was strictly necessary, the only sign of just how troublesome Gaius was feeling right now.

"Gaius!" His door nearly swung open, and Gaius barely flinched as the woman walked into his chambers as if she owned the place. The things that Gaius did to keep Merlin's friends occupied in his home for hours on end…Morgana was looking beautiful as always as she glanced around the room. Wearing this long green dress, and a purple shawl around her shoulders she promptly untied and draped over the top of one of the benches. Her dark and thick hair was twisted upwards, allowing for some of the length to drape over her shoulder. "Is Merlin awake yet? I wanted to walk with him when he left for the village today. But the king decided today, of all mornings, that he wanted to have breakfast together. I swear, he did that on purpose just so I would be late. I would actually still be there right this moment, if Leon hadn't arrived and hurried Uther off to look at some reports or something. I don't really know, I was just grateful to finally get a chance to leave before I ended up entertaining his sire all morning. But I see Merlin's not up yet or he would have already been down here. Should I go and wake him, do you think?"

Gaius held back a sigh, perhaps starting to understand a little too well on why Merlin had been so insistent on leaving before Morgana had gotten the chance to arrive. As he watched her craning her neck around, hardly sparing the aged physician despite this being his home that she was constantly barging into, to try and spy for Merlin. As if she half expected he would be hiding underneath one of the tables, though considering this was Merlin, that wouldn't be out of the realm of possibilities if he wanted to hide from somebody non threatening to him. The Lady obviously knew propriety would not allow her to enter inside the room of a man she was not married too, nor related too. But when had that little fact ever stopped the two who had been thick as thieves, before Morgana had started getting carried away with her visits. Even Gaius cared very little for a thing such as 'propriety' when Merlin had needed friends. It wasn't the boy's fault that he only seemed to make friends with the women, leaving him in quite a difficult position on what could be and couldn't be acceptable behavior.

"I'm afraid you already missed him this morning, Lady Morgana." Gaius said in his ever calm voice when it looked like she was about to barge up to the stairs rather or not he told her to go ahead and do so. It wouldn't exactly be strange if Merlin 'had' still been sleeping at this hour. Back when he had first arrived, he had often slept for as long as Gaius would allow him too. But now, with the schedule Merlin insisted on keeping, he was often awake as early as the sun itself was. "He's been gone for over an hour already. But you are more than welcomed to sit around and wait for his return so we can hear exactly how it went. I gave him a little task in order to push him into staying out longer than the few minutes he was planning. So he should be returning any moment I may imagine."

Morgana's smile had dropped in a heartbeat when Gaius said Merlin was gone already, but the physician would stand by with what he had done. Merlin was never going to start being accustomed to the world again if he didn't have a push now and again to get him moving. With all the strides Merlin had taken in his healing these last few weeks, it was only natural that they try something a bit out of his comfort zone. Merlin would never reach his full health if he stuck to what he had been doing all these weeks. Though again…it wasn't as if Gaius had sent Merlin very far out into the forest. It WAS starting to get later than he would have liked…the physician would never forgive himself if it turned out he had pushed Merlin too hard. Or if something had happened and all the people had gone and gotten their hand in what Merlin was doing once again…

"Are you…are you really serious right now! Tell me that you didn't really send him out there all on his own? With the way he's been treated by the people of this city? With what they've done to him?" Morgana exclaimed loudly, looking at Gaius as if she was waiting for him to admit that had simply been nothing more than an extremely poor joke that hadn't been funny in the least. But the aged physician couldn't tell her that it was. He was very much aware of how the people in this city had done nothing for his nephew, there had been many times he had refused to give medical attention to somebody-as long as what ailed there wasn't life threatening-because they started running their mouth. It was strange how many people thought Gaius was there to listen to them rant and rave about things that had no bearing on why they had sought him out to begin with. "You just said that he's been gone for longer than an hour! Both of us know Merlin would have never stayed out that long on his first trip into the world! What if he's gotten into another confrontation already? Arthur himself is out there somewhere, what if he's gone and got to him as well! This is exactly why I wanted to walk with him! There's no telling what trouble he might be in right this moment!"

And Morgana sent a frantic look towards the front door, as if she thought the consort would come striding in right that moment just because she wished for it to be done. But it was no surprise to either of them, when the door remained firmly latched in place. The aged physician heaved out a sigh, heavy and deep and very much troubled. Morgana wasn't exactly wrong with her worry, and he would be remiss to dismiss her concerns. It wasn't as if Gaius hadn't spent far too much time during this hour wondering what was happening with Merlin, as he tried and failed to do all the little things he had done in order to keep busy and distracted. But short of chaining themselves to Merlin every time he had to leave these chambers, it just wasn't feasible to stick by Merlin's side day in and day out. And a month of doing exactly that was truly enough time for them to start setting back some of the reins. As much as Gaius hated how much of a risk all of this was, practically tearing himself in two it was, though he hardly let Morgana see that worry in him. It wouldn't calm her if he started to panic. A concept his twenty years as a personal physician to the royal family had taught him.

"Now, I know that this is a major risk with all things considering, but Merlin and I have already talked it out in great length when I first proposed the idea over a week ago. He knows to come straight home if even the slightest thing starts to make him uncomfortable, to minimize the risk of anything actually happening this time." Gaius said, remembering the lengthy conversation that had held the two of them up for hours. Merlin hadn't been entirely reasonable about doing this to begin with, but…what was the point in recovering if Merlin never made that first step that was holding him back. His fears of the outdoors or in more populated places was hardly the kind of life he wanted for the boy. "It's simply unhealthy for him seclude himself in these chambers. Which is why we started off this small. What happens the next time Camelot needs their consort and he gets into another situation because he hasn't prepared himself. I know it's only a matter of time before the king or even Arthur requires his presence. And that is WHY Merlin needs to start re-familiarizing himself with the outside world. So if it makes you feel better, I'll be willing to go search for Merlin myself if he has not returned in the next few minutes."

Morgana breathed out a heavy breath that Gaius wanted to match, both taking a moment to glance towards the front door as if hoping it would be completely unnecessary if Merlin came stumbling through that front door right now. Gaius had several good points about this though, a consort could hardly stand firmly in front of different kings or royal guests and be afraid of their own shadow. A consort needed to appear strong, even when they were anything but, in order to prevent other kingdoms from deciding there was a weakness they might be able to exploit. But…even though this was meant to be helping Merlin, meant to put him back together in some misshapen way or form, it still felt too much as if Gaius was…sacrificing his nephew for the kingdom. And that was the one thing Gaius would NEVER do. Not for a kingdom that scorned his boy. But if he hadn't done something now, there was a good chance Merlin would've been at a standstill, stuck in the same cycle he's crafted even five or ten years into the future.

Gaius wasn't sure which was worse.

Five years without change.

Or being under Camelot's thumb.

"…I hear your point. I really do. Camelot needs a consort like Merlin more than ever. But what if doing this…what if…what if it actually kills him, this time?" The ward to the king choked out, blinking rapidly as if to stop her flow of tears. And Gaius held back yet another sigh. Morgana had always been quite strong for a woman, able to play dainty and sweet when it was required of her, but she had a force in her soul that was rarely seen in a woman of her station. Who'd been taught from birth that her worth was tied into her marriage. It had always been easy to forget, despite being capable of being as wild as her curls when Gwen didn't pin them back, that she was still a young girl. Not a child by any means, but still so young. "I can't, Gaius! I cannot see Merlin being taken from this world just because of Camelot. This kingdom doesn't deserve to have him healing so they can tear him right back down the second he makes progress. They…they should rot in the dredges, this entire kingdom, if they can't see..,can't see just what Merlin has sacrificed all these four months-"

And Morgana sucked in a huge breath as if she just realized what she had said about Camelot…the ward of the king could not be seen saying that those in the kingdom should rot. It was blasphemy. Treason. Her reputation unsalvageable in the eyes of the noble men who kept the city running. For a woman who had held up remarkably well when Merlin had 'actually' been poisoned, it seemed as if it had only recently started to hit her 'just' how close they had all been to losing Merlin. What had Gaius ever done to be surrounded as the sole adult in a group of traumatized children…it was only a matter of time before Gwen was showing up to cry on his shoulder. Though it had been quite a while since she had done that last. Out of the entire group, it appeared that Gwen was deepest into her recovery progress, smiling more and visiting often and returning to the normalcy her life had been before her own trauma experience in the cells.

"Morgana, this was Merlin's decision even more than it was mine." Gaius said firmly, cutting her off before she could project her own fears onto Merlin and halting what recovery he had made. There was a reason they had taken a week after Gaius first broached the idea, instead of doing it that day. It had taken his nephew that long to work up the courage, constantly going back and forth and going between pacing and pretending it wasn't actually going to happen, just to get him to take that first step. As scary as this was for the rest of them, they could not hinder Merlin's progress by denying him his right to the best life that he could get his hands on. "Staying inside these chambers day in and day out is likely to kill him just as much as walking out that door is. But at least outside it's harder for him to stick to his little rituals and schedules and not changing it up for anything…he NEEDS this. Probably more than we even know."

Gaius knew Merlin had been getting better than he was, but he was positive he didn't know everything. Merlin had opened up to him during their nightly talks, speaking of horrible things and horrible emotions that had made Gaius want to cry with him, though he held back until his nephew returned to bed. But Gaius also knew that there was much his nephew still wasn't telling him, things he had kept tight to his chest for fear it might be enough of a darkness that it was the push Gaius needed to abandon him completely. Like a ship floating out to sea because nobody had bothered marooning it to the port. Gaius wanted to keep up with Merlin, reassure him the odd moments he would start drawing back on himself…the nights seemed to be the hardest. Though Gaius attributed that to happen simply because one's mind tended to wander as they laid in bed, just waiting for sleep to overtake them. For example, Merlin still refused to talk of his poisoning very much. Oh, sure. He would stress how important it was that he got better after coming so close to death, but he never got in-depth about the whole thing. Gaius understood, he really did. It could be akin to somebody lying bare, or baring their soul, an uncomfortable thing even in front of a man they trusted. Especially for a boy like Merlin, who had spent his entire life with its sole purpose being…hiding himself.

"Though Morgana," Gaius started off by clearing his throat, remembering how stressed out Merlin had been about Morgana's near constant presence in his life…Merlin was still in such a fragile state, after all, despite the progress he'd made in leaps and bounds. And while he was sure his nephew enjoyed having the company after so much time spent in isolation, too much too sudden could overstimulate even the most extrovert of personality's. "Perhaps we should be taking a moment, before Merlin arrives, to talk about yourself. I've noticed that you are, especially in the last few moments of our conversation, having a few problems yourself that might need to be handled."

Morgana's jaw seemed to drop open as Gaius turned the whole situation back onto her, but now that Merlin had brought it to his attention, it was something he felt needed to be addressed. He couldn't allow Morgana's compulsive need to be near Merlin at all hours of the day, fester until it started to overwhelm his nephew. Until he started doing things for Morgana's sake, transferring all the urges he had been in days past to work things out with Arthur onto the lady he saw standing before him now. Merlin needed time to develop and become his own person and focus more on his wants and needs-at a healthy dose-instead of worrying about rather or not he had made somebody unhappy with him.

"Now, Morgana." Gaius continued before Morgana could try and protest that she was completely normal…being so obsessed with the whereabouts of a boy who was not her own small child, was anything but normal or healthy. Morgana herself could even benefit from having some time apart from him, and limiting herself to one or two visits a day, rather than spending an entire day plastering herself at Merlin's side, could do them both a world of good. "I do understand where you are coming from and your intense desire to keep Merlin safe. But a thing like that is also 'why' I allowed him to go on his own, despite my instincts telling me not too. As much as I want to cling onto him, it's not a good thing to become so dependent on one person. Especially not Merlin, who is essentially still trying to find himself. I've been keeping myself distracted with something I loved to do. So, why don't you do the same? What is something that you loved to do before Merlin walked into our lives?"

Morgana's mouth opened up and down for several long minutes as Gaius leaned himself against one of his tables, waiting for her to answer him. There was this strange look in her eyes though, something sharp and calculating as her eyes darted between each of Gaius' own. As if she was struggling to find something inside his expression, though Gaius could hardly imagine what that something would be. Gaius certainly wasn't hiding anything from her, well not pertaining to this particular situation, at least. But whatever Morgana seemed to look for, it appeared as if she found her. The way her face stuttered and hardened was very telling, if not extremely worrying for the aged physician.

"Well…journaling. I like to write in my journal." Morgana said slowly, and the old physician slowly nodded his head. He had been in Morgana's room plenty over the years, when she was resting in bed and needed a look over after troubling sleepless nights. There had always been a spare journal either on her desk or on her bedside table, as if she had spent hours writing late into the night, and journaling was actually a healthy outlet for one's emotions. There was always just something about seeing one's thoughts on a parchment that could make a person feel…cathartic. A way of…releasing one's emotions, unburdening all the ailments that weighed on one's soul. "But Gaius…please tell me you know why I am so worried about Merlin being on his own. I mean, after the poisoning and all. Why…even Arthur himself, who never knows anything, is aware of what was going on with Merlin-"

At first, Gaius had been nodding along to whatever Morgana said, though her sudden shift in tone made the physician straightened up alert. Dark and quiet and with a hint of warning behind her words. At first, Gaius had simply thought Morgana was about to express her worries for Merlin after his poisoning to him instead of her journal, some people did find it easier to do both or do it for one or the other. But then she had mentioned Arthur, and it was as if there was this button inside of him that had just gotten pressed. Gaius nearly came straight off that table, striding over to Morgana in three quick steps that nearly had the girl herself reeling back in surprise.

"Even Arthur knows what?" Gaius demanded, asking the lady in a rougher tone than he would usually allow for. But all bets were off once that…that…absolute clout! As Merlin preferred referring him by, instead of using his actual name. Is mentioned in any conjunction to his nephew. At least he could 'hope' that the prince wasn't tormenting his nephew right now, and that was why he still had not returned to the safety of his home. With a kingdom as big as theirs, what were the odds that they would meet the 'one time' Merlin walked out of Gaius' front door. It was an entirely different situation when it was being waved right in front of his face like this, "Morgana Le Fay, what aren't you telling me? You know something that I don't, don't you? What does it have to do with Arthur?"

Morgana seemed to hesitate, as if she wasn't entirely sure rather or not it was the right thing for her to do, to speak up. But she has already let the genie out of the bottle, so to speak. And there was no going back now that she had said something. Though, if Arthur had really done something else to upset his boy, after Gaius had already had that discussion with his father, then…he was just done with everything. Gaius had already warned Uther about Arthur's horrible behavior towards his nephew, and he wasn't in the habit of giving anybody a warning more than once. He didn't care if this was the bloody royal family! If Arthur had went behind their backs and did something else that was going to hurt Merlin, then by the time Merlin got back, Gaius would have all their things packed and ready to go. Maybe he would even have a horse ready for them to take them far away from Camelot. It wasn't even a question if Gaius was really going to follow through and leave everything he's ever known behind. He was already categorizing in his mind possible routes and lesser known directions he knew would lead them out of the kingdom, just in case Uther decided to do a tyrant move and ordered the guards to bring them back.

"What do you know about what Merlin was doing when he decided to drink the poison?" Morgana finally asked him, which wasn't what Gaius had wanted. He did not believe a question should be answered with another question. That is just another method to avoid answering the other question when one wanted to not answer. But, Gaius thought as he frowned in heavy contemplation. That brought upon him the question…why didn't Morgana want to answer him? And why she was behaving so cagey all of a sudden. Morgana grew insistent with him though, before he could demand further answers, "Please! Gaius! You just need to answer my question. WHY! Do you think Merlin decided to drink a cup of poison that day all those weeks ago?"

Morgana reached out, grabbing onto Gaius' hands for purchase as she begged for the aged physician to understand her. Though this made him feel the dread growing in his stomach coming back in full force, something he didn't think he had felt since he thought the cure had failed on Merlin. But…Gaius did what his Lady Morgana wanted, and thought back to that day. It was all hazy by now, as things tended to become when one no longer wanted to think about them. But he remembered Merlin running into the hall and snatching the goblet out from Arthur's hand. Remembered the insuring fight that had happened between the consort, the prince, and the two kings. Remembered Merlin's daring-though it was something Gaius was more liable to name as stupid-lifting of the goblet as he mocked the royal family. And then…everything else happened so fast that it almost felt as if it melded together. Gaius couldn't even remember the run that he had done to get back to his chambers as fast as possible so he could help Merlin, using Arthur only as a means of getting him there before sending him off on his way.

"Merlin was behaving recklessly." Gaius finally decided, something he really had to talk to Merlin about at some point. It was another unhealthy habit that had developed during those first few months, Merlin thinking he wasn't more than something expendable. Something that could be used and tossed once it had served its intended purposes. Merlin's life didn't rely on what he could do for this kingdom! Not when the only thing that should be important was Merlin being happy, an almost impossible feat considering his royal responsibilities to the court. "He knew something was wrong and he did what Merlin always does when he sees something wrong. He tried to stop it. Admirable, yes. But stupid as well. And not something I ever plan on witnessing him do again."

Gaius spoke this as firmly as he could, knowing it would break him completely if his nephew has given his life over to a kingdom who wouldn't appreciate the lives they still had were because of that one teenaged boy. But it didn't seem as if this was the answer Morgana was looking for, as she rapidly shook back and forth her head with enough force that the length tumbling over her small shoulder fell back. Her hands were nearly shaking as she attempted to hold on to Gaius' hands with everything she had, the pinpricks of her long nails slightly poking into the flesh.

"Not stupid, Gaius. Never stupid. Desperate, is a word I would use to call what Merlin did that day." Morgana hissed at him frantically, lowering her voice as if she feared somebody would walk in on them and overhear just how fragile the consort's mental state had been at the time. It would be a damn good excuse for other noble families to put up a roar, having solid proof that Merlin wasn't good enough to be a member of the royal family. Little as they would be able to do about it, they could still make life for Merlin even more difficult if a whiff of Merlin being a risk and liability to the kingdom became a fact and not only random gossip being spread as if it was. "I didn't want to believe it myself at first, oh god. I didn't want to believe it. Especially considering Arthur was the one to tell me, being that he was the only one standing close enough to Merlin to see what he was doing. But god, it never occurred to me that you might not have realized just how…how horrible the truth is. Why, even Arthur was scared enough, worried enough, to ask me to keep an eye on him for Merlin since he's not welcomed around here anymore."

Gaius almost stopped breathing at that point, looking at Morgana in absolute wonderment, and reeling after what he was hearing. The girl was practically breathless at this point as a flush built up on her cheeks, and yet, Gaius could not understand what Arthur was 'close enough' to see. What had Arthur seen that Gaius, who's been spending every moment of every day with his nephew, had missed. What had Arthur seen that caused the prince who abused Merlin and hated him and treated him like scum beneath his boots, possibly have to be afraid of. And more importantly…what did Morgana mean when she said the prince had asked her to look after Merlin? As if he had any right to place a…a spy? Into his home just because he knew Gaius would have turned him away at the door.

"Have you been spying on my nephew, Morgana?" Gaius demanded, including a proper protective grumble escaping from his throat as he ripped his hands out of her own. Morgana looked startled and discontented, nearly falling over now that she no longer had something to grab hold too. Gaius shook his head at her, scrunching up his nose in disgust. He had never expected such a thing as that to come from Morgana, but it was unfairly smart as well. Arthur knew Morgana was a trusted guest in his household, having always been free to visit and leave as she pleased. Who better to report to Arthur what Merlin had done all these weeks, than somebody who could smile and call his nephew out as a friend. It was almost a betrayal, and he had absolutely no idea how he would tell Merlin what had just been confessed here today. But Merlin couldn't go on being friends with Morgana if she was willing to tell other people, people they refused to allow into their little world because of how much he has hurt one of their own, things he might have said to her in confidence. There really was no telling WHAT Morgana might have told Arthur, or what the prince knew about what Merlin had been doing these last few weeks. Did she tell him things like what time Merlin decided to turn in for bed and what time he usually awake for the day? Did she tell Arthur personal things like what Merlin would rant to her about over lunch, or what problems ailed him as he tried working out the kinks to his newfound love of 'scheduling.' Was Gwen also a part of this? Or was she as unaware of what was happening as they all were. "Have you left here every night and walked straight to Arthur's room and start spilling secrets that were not meant to ever leave these rooms. Have you been behaving like a snake in the grass, hiding under the guise of a friend while working with Arthur behind his back just to give Arthur more ammunition he could use against him later?"

Morgana's eyes widened so wide, they almost looked as if they were going to pop right out of her head and bounce across the floor. A pale sheen crossing her skin as she realized her mistake and how Gaius had taken her words, since there would be no forgiving such a mistake. Morgana would be promptly shut out of everything and anything that had to do with Merlin if they believed her to be a traitor, Merlin himself would never talk to her again if he thought she'd been feeding Arthur information all this time. But it made perfect sense to the physician. Why else had Arthur stayed away all this time if he wasn't getting a regular report or update on Merlin's status, it wasn't as if the prince had ever controlled his impulses. And why else did the gifts Arthur sent always ended up on the doorstep just before Merlin usually awoke? Gaius had attributed that to Arthur just sending them in the mornings, but what if he sent them because he knew Merlin would still be asleep and unable to send them away? And what if…

"NO! GAIUS, please! I swear to you! I haven't told Arthur anything about what I do or what goes on in these chambers. I've hardly even talked to him since the day Bayard and his men left the kingdom all those weeks ago." Morgana said in a loud tone, the pleading in her voice strong enough to even get through all of the haze of Gaius' anger. "Yes, when Arthur and I talked after everything was over and done with, he asked me to keep an eye on Merlin. And yes, he asked me to tell him if I saw any…concerning behavior. But I told him no! That I wasn't going to do that to Merlin and I left! I remember this specifically because there was no fighting or protest from Arthur. He knew full stop that I wasn't going to tell him anything! Knowledge like that…it needs to be earned. It can't just be a thing that's thrown at him because he can't mind his own business. There's no trust there! No reason for me to even mention Merlin's name if I do happen to come across Arthur. I-"

Morgana Le Fay cut herself off again, and the returning of his dread hit Gaius stronger than a punch to the stomach. There was something terrible bad that he was missing here, something that had to do with his nephew. And though it was probably a bad idea to just believe Morgana right off the bat like this, the physician could still feel himself starting to relax some. It had been stupid, just thinking Morgana was a spy. Oh, she was definitely smart enough to go pulling something like that off. But she was also too emotionally invested with Merlin and his well being to do anything that would actually hurt him. And telling that Arthur Pendragon one damn thing-even if it was something as small as…Merlin liking to pour an entire container of salt into his breakfast, was literally the one thing on the planet that could ensure Merlin never trusted that person again.

"He was trying to kill himself, Gaius."

Morgana's words had been spoken so softly, that even a small wind could have been heard over her, especially as she cast her teary eyes down onto the floor by her feet, her head bowed so it sounded even more muffled than it would've sounded otherwise. And for a second, Gaius was almost positive that he must have misheard her. Yes, Merlin had gotten reckless and had gotten to a point in which he cared very little for whether or not he lived or died. But…suicide…it was a whole new game that Gaius hadn't even realized they were playing. But …it couldn't be possible either. Merlin didn't bare all of the markers of a man who would be willing to go that far in order to escape his situation. Well, other than the depression and the lashing out in anger and the moodiness and…the way he had been extremely calm before Gaius had sent him out to the banquet that had nearly killed him…too calm, in fact. The color started to drain out from Gaius' face, leaving him just as pasty white as Morgana's was.

"I'm so sorry! Perhaps I should have said something sooner but this is exactly what I wanted to avoid! Doing something that would cause Merlin to not trust me enough to tell me if it starts getting that bad again?" Morgana exclaimed in a loud tone, bringing her hands up against her face as she sobbed. And the physician could only stand there and watch as she frantically rubbed the large array of tears dripping down her cheeks, which did nothing more than making her sob harder and smear her mascara. "And now Merlin's out there and there is no telling when or if he's coming back! What if he decides to do something to himself now that he's away from the eyes of people who actually care about him!"

Gaius' heart leaped straight into his throat, seized by a sudden panic that may be enough to cause him cardiac arrest. Morgana's apparent need to be always by Merlin's side suddenly made sense now…she wasn't worrying because she had almost lost him. She was worrying because she was afraid that there was a slim chance Merlin could still be tethering on the knife's edge. And Merlin…had he been extraordinarily calm when he left the chambers this morning? Like he had been extraordinarily calm when he had left for the banquet. What if she was right. And what if the only thing Gaius had done was ensure Merlin had all the privacy he needed to carry out his plan? GOD! With Merlin's healing self-inflicted cuts, he had stupidly assumed he hadn't needed to worry about his nephew suffering such a sharp relapse back into his depression. Had he done somehow missed the signs? Or had Merlin just gotten better at hiding it from him? No matter. The first thing they needed to do was fine Merlin and get him here, within the safety of his chambers, and make sure he hadn't gotten the chance to do…anything drastic.

"Morgana," Gaius immediately took command, his voice leaving no room for an argument as he took her by the elbow and hurriedly started leading her toward the front door. "I need you to find him. I have to stay here in case Merlin comes back, but you need to go out there and get him before he does something. You can enlist help from the guards and get him escorted here immediately. But I'd have them check the woods right outside the city gates, I have sent him there in order to fetch a few ingredients for me. And Morgana-" Gaius stopped them just as he reached the door, making sure the lady's full attention had returned to him. "Do hurry. I do not believe I have to tell you just how isolating it can be in those woods, do I?"

Morgana seemed to understand what he was saying, as her face went whiter than a piece of chalk…isolation meant quiet. Quiet meant dark thoughts being brought to the forefront of the mind. Dark thoughts meant depression. And all people did crazy things when they thought the world wasn't listening to them any longer, if it ever had been. And Morgana nodded her head frantically, she spun around on her heel without another word and stormed through the door and out into the hallway, leaving behind her shawl and calling out for the very first knight she saw. Leaving Gaius behind in his chambers, the quiet started to bother him more than it had been before Morgana's visit.

Looking around the unorganized mess he had always surrounded himself with, the physician almost grew paranoid. Thinking of all the items Merlin could use to hurt himself…he had so many scalpels lying around for when he would need to cut into somebody for their own good…what if Merlin decided to take them to his wrists? He had measuring ropes, and what if Merlin decided they would be a good noose in the making. He had thousands of medications on the book shelves that could easily take out a man if one overdosed on it, and some that were straight up poisons that would only need a taste for the heart to stop its beating…Gaius had a lot of work to do if he was going to get this place cleaned up for Merlin's arrival.

X

Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how one looked at it, Gaius only had enough time to store one box of poisons away on the bottom shelf of one of his cabinets, one that Merlin never bothered going in, before the consort in question was bursting into the room. He slammed the cabinet door shut with enough force that the sound echoed out, and the physician spun around, with his mouth open to immediately demand if Merlin was okay. But he stopped just before the first word could be uttered from his lips, his heart seizing inside of his chest…there was blood. So much blood, Gaius wasn't even sure where his nephew's skin began and where the blood ended.

"G-Gaius! Uncle Gaius!" Merlin stuttered, holding his hands out in front of him, his bloody bleeding hands. Blood staining his arms and blood smeared across his tunic and blood smeared across his pants…and the only thing Gaius could think of was…Morgana was right. Merlin had set out to hurt himself and Gaius had given him the means and the opportunity in order to do it. There was even blood on his face…good god. Why had Gaius allowed his nephew to leave…he could have prevented this. Could have prevented all of this… "I…I need to get your help. There's a…there's a…he's coming…"

Merlin sounded as if he was in a state of shock, half pointing behind him as if he was trying to show Gaius something, but…Merlin needed his help. That was the only thing Gaius had heard, and he reacted. Within an instant, he was right by Merlin's side, grabbing onto his arms and ignoring Merlin's squawky protest and weakly trying to push him off. People who tried killing themselves lost the right for Gaius to show any leniency, he decided as he quickly searched through all the blood in order to find the initial wound. Within second's, Gaius found he was already covered in it himself, but no matter where he tried scrubbing off the flakes of blood, he could not find the wound. He needed a cloth, that was it. He needed a cloth to wrap around Merlin's wrist until he could get all of his stitching tools together…good god. This was enough blood to have killed off a man! It was a miracle Merlin was still standing, yet alone had enough willpower to walk all the way here…

"UNCLE GAIUS! IT'S NOT MY BLOOD!" Merlin practically shouted as loud as he could, the one and only thing that could get through to his uncle as he was being dragged across the room to the wash basin. Merlin dug his heels in the ground, practically wrenching himself away from his uncle's grip. He wouldn't ever dream of being disrespectful to the man who's done everything for him, but this was an emergency and Merlin couldn't waste time trying to explain all the details to him. "Please! There's a man who's coming here! And he's lost a lot of blood. And he just…please, uncle!" Merlin reached out to grab onto the sleeve of his uncle's tunic. "He saved my life. He's the one that you will have to stitch up."

The words barely even registered to Gaius, who barely had a moment's notice before the door came bursting open once again. And…oh. Merlin had raced on ahead in order to warn Gaius they were coming, and now two knights barreled into the room with the unconscious man between them. Knight Dorian, who'd been the one to find Merlin in the woods. And Knight Derek who had ended up coming across them as he ran around the village trying to figure out where the boy he was supposed to be guarding was. Perhaps the guards Arthur clearly hadn't ordered away yet weren't entirely worthless, not if they managed to get Lancelot back here faster than how fast Merlin had been able to move. Though Gaius was a physician, and he was used to things changing at this extremely fast pace. Despite the initial surprise, he immediately took charge.

"Lay him down on my cot." Gaius ordered briskly, not at all concerned about the heavy amounts of blood that was starting to seep through his shirt once again, already moving to grab his emergency medical bag off one of the many tables. It, as the two knights laid the stranger out on his bed and stepped off to the side to give him space to work as he came back, was hardly the first time a dying man had slept in his bed. And it was hardly the first time he had to wash blood out of his sheets and blankets. Gaius was opening up his bag when Merlin appeared over his shoulder as he started pulling out gauze and string and his needle, Gaius didn't look up from what he was doing as he was pulling out a small set of scissors that seemed like they would be a tad small for his fingers. "Merlin, I need you to go and stand back with the knights while I save your friend here, alright?"

Gaius hardly noticed when Knight Derrick strode forward, putting a hand onto Merlin's shoulder, leading him a few steps away and out of Gaius' light. The old physician was already using the scissors to cut a slit up the side of the shirt so he could get closer to the wound, and he stopped. When he reached the very familiar blue cloth Merlin had been wearing that morning when he left. Stained in blood, it had almost completely blended into the wound itself and it took the physician only a few simple tugs to undo the knot. Splitting the shirt opened at the slit, there was another gush of free streaming blood that had Gaius picking up the gauze to press against it, holding down the bleed. This man didn't have anymore blood he could lose before he started fading away, and then someone was directly behind his shoulder again.

"I'm sorry! I didn't know what I was doing and my neckerchief was the one and only thing I had on me and god, there was so much blood and it wasn't going to stop and-" Merlin ranted in a frenzy, not surprising for somebody who had gone through an obvious ordeal such as this. This much blood could absolutely be traumatizing for somebody who wasn't used to getting their hands this deep in somebody else. "I tried remembering what I've read from your books but there was no telling if I was remembering right of if I did something worse or if he's going to die because I didn't know what to do properly! And-"

Gaius ignored him for the most part, even as Derrick once again took him by the shoulders and started leading him away once again. He was too busy with inspecting the wound, lifting the gauze cautiously with one hand as he picked up his thread and needle with the other. It was a serious injury, but not one he couldn't recover from once he got proper treatment. The neckerchief was this very crude manner of holding back the flow of blood, the knot had been in the perfect position, where the biggest of the cuts had been, to stop the maximum amount from coming out of him. Considering the circumstances, it seemed as if it was a pretty sound method to use. Trained physicians themselves would often forgot to get creative when they didn't have something specific at their disposal. Not like Merlin, who used the only thing he had…

"He's going to live." Gaius interrupted Merlin in his mid-ramblings, and already pressing the pieces of skin together through the slickness of the blood, sliding his needle into one side of the flesh and out through the other so he could get the man stitched up properly. "The wound is not nearly as bad as it looks, the blood loss is what would've been the thing to kill him off. And considering your only knowledge comes from reading books and not any practical training, I will say your neckerchief here was probably the one thing that saved his life. Kept him stable long enough for you to reach me. Though do remind me to get you lessons later on, on how to do emergency stitches in the field. I will make sure you are ready should such an unfortunate incident befalls you again."

No nephew of his was going to be helping people like this and not knowing the proper ways of doing things. With his training, Merlin could've easily managed to stitch the man, without freaking out as he had been upon arrival, so that he would lose the least amount of blood until it could be cleaned. Besides, Gaius had told the king he was going to nurture Merlin's interest-as the boy sighed in relief and sagged in on himself somewhere behind him-in medicine. And this is as good a sign as any that Gaius needed to move away from the books and get to teaching him practical life saving techniques. One could read a book all that they liked, but as Merlin had just demonstrated now, reading was no substitute for the confidence one needed when giving treatment..

"Consort Merlin, will you be fine now while we take our leave?" Knight Dorian suddenly asked, stepping up to Merlin's side with a tilt of his head. "I believe that the king will need to be informed on this situation so we can get a handle on what our next steps should be-" if only Dorian knew, by the time he would reach the castle with Derrick, King Uther and Prince Arthur would have left on horseback for an impromptu visit to one of the villages an hour away that, as a report given to them by Knight Leon would dictate, had just been attacked by a winged beast a few days earlier. "We can stay of course, but I suspect that the prince will probably arrive personally once he hears the news to take your statement on what happened."

Prince Arthur wasn't the one that usually took statements, he was the one that received the report given to him by the guards who did, but considering Merlin was involved, it stood to reason that the prince would involve himself. And this fact only made Merlin Pendragon blanch, though he nodded his head and then waved the two guards off with his dried up bloody hands. There wasn't a thing either knight could do now that they've gotten Lancelot here, so there wasn't any reason for them to hang around. Surely not on Merlin's account. Although maybe it would've been best for them to stay, Merlin considered blandly as the door closed behind them. Staying meant Arthur wouldn't hear the news a while longer, which meant more time before Merlin had to confront him again…which meant Merlin had more issues about to appear on the horizon. Issues that he'd want to push to the background so he could focus his entire attention to sorely Lancelot.

"Merlin," Gaius called out to him sometime after the knights had left and Merlin appeared once again at his shoulder, peeking over his thick frame to look more at the wound. Gaius was almost done by this point, and Merlin watched as the needle went in and out of the flesh in a neat little line before he tied it off, and used the scissors to cut off the leftover string. It was bloody disgusting, but it was something the consort couldn't take his eyes away from as Gaius started to use the gauze to mop up some of the blood staining Lancelot's flesh. "I can tell from the diameter of the wound and how rough the splitting of the skin has been is that this was from an animal attack. Something with claws. But it's also something that is much larger and wider than the average wolf or cougar could have caused. Would you like to tell me how he suffered from these wounds?"

Gaius turned around in his stool now that he was at a good place to stop, the only thing left to do was give Lancelot a proper cleaning and perhaps some of the paste he had been making that morning to alleviate any of the pain and the discomfort the wound would cause once he had woken up, and gave Merlin the sternest look Merlin had seen from him yet. A look that lingered on his bloody arms as if he was still trying to search out for some hidden wound among all of the flakes. Merlin Pendragon cleared his throat, awkwardly wrapping his arms around his waist as if to hide them and the shaking of his arms. Today was the worse day Merlin had in quite a while, and it was clearly still having some kind of effect on him even after everything was going to be said and done.

Gaius managed to get a wash cloth and water from the basin to wash away the blood from Lancelot's skin in the time Merlin told him about going in the woods as he had instructed him too. Gaius had managed to clean up all the supplies in the time Merlin had told him about the beast that had attacked him and how Lancelot had came to save his life. And after some pressing, Gaius had gotten Merlin to sit down with a cup of tea to calm his nerves, to finally here all about Knight Bryon and Knight Julian being the ones to drag him that deep inside the forest to begin with. Needless to say, Gaius was not at all happy with what he was learning.

"Trust me, Merlin! Those two knights, if one can even call them that, won't be getting away with this. I can assure you of that." Gaius snarled darkly under his breath as he took a seat across from Merlin, who kept glancing over to the boy unconscious in Gaius' cot as if he thought he might disappear if he took eyes off of him for a single second. "Who do they think they are! Not only leaving a boy undefended against a creature not even they were brave enough to face up against! But then to go and leave Camelot's consort! Why, that right there could be considered treason or abandonment of duty…not fit to wear those bloody cloaks they strut around in as if they are playing dress up. If that was Morgana or Arthur that had abandoned, Uther would have their heads on a plate faster than a man could blink!"

Merlin nodded, but he completely ignored the cup of tea resting in between his hands as he shot yet another glance towards Lancelot. Gaius could be as mad as he wanted, but Merlin wasn't too concerned about the knights at the moment. Having a title attached to his name hardly meant the same to him as Gaius wanted it too. He had the title and could get his hands on the jewels or the gold or the fancy rich people crap that nobody really needed, but he was never going to be treated on the same level as the royal family. So, yeah. The whole abandonment thing wasn't all that much of a surprise to Merlin, now as it was all over and done with and he was finally having a moment to sit.

"Gaius, don't worry about them. I'm alive, and Lancelot is going to live, and I'm sure they are already spinning some story that's gonna make it seem like I was the crazy one or something and I'm just making their involvement up. That may be what led to me spiraling the last time, constantly trying to get my truth out there and nobody caring enough to hear it. I'm not going down that road once again." Merlin insisted, sounding far more mature about his situation than he'd usually be. But from the narrowing of his uncle's eyes-Merlin's hands went just a bit tighter around his teacup-he was positive the other man wasn't going to be letting this go quite yet. Merlin took in a deep breath, knowing that this only meant Gaius cared for him, but there were other things to think about than the two knights who abandoned him to die. "What about that creature, Gaius? The one that attacked us. Do you have any idea what it could've been, or if it might come back? Another mile or two and it could've hit directly in the city."

Merlin had been trying to think about it for quite some time, but he didn't know enough to even begin to guess what kind of creature it could've been. He had heard about dragons and unicorns and sirens and the like, gnomes and fairies too, but there were thousands of creatures out there, as little as people would get the chance to see them in today's time. But he couldn't remember hearing anything about this kind of hybrid…his friend Will used to scare him with these stories about a woman who was cursed to have snakes for hair and one look is enough to turn a man into stone. Merlin had been terrified to look at a woman for weeks, in fear of there being snakes hidden beneath her headband. But he could honestly say that was the only hybrid he had heard of, and he still could not say if it was a true story! But a horse with wings and the head of an eagle…forget hybrid! That thing had three different animals in it, and there could have been even more he didn't take note of at the time.

"Hmmm, I do have a few ideas, but I'm going to have to consult some of my books before I can give you a definitive answer on what it might've been. But you saw it flying off, yes? I doubt it'll be any threat to Camelot if it decided to leave on its own." Gaius said calmly, and Merlin nodded, shooting what had to be the fiftieth look towards Lancelot in so many minutes. Gaius kept giving him these strange looks that he thought Merlin wasn't noticing. But Merlin did, and it was giving him a strange itch beneath his skin…Merlin hadn't felt so uncomfortable by his uncle's presence in a long time. The itching only exaggerates by all the flakes of blood pulling at his skin…he really should get cleaned up…Merlin shot another look towards Lancelot. Not entirely sure if he wanted to leave him, but his aching knee was still throbbing and needed to be cleaned and… "You don't have to keep looking towards your young man right there. He's not going to be up for a while, he'll probably sleep straight until tomorrow, I expect."

Merlin winced, though he wasn't surprised that Gaius had noticed his constant staring, it wasn't as if he had been trying to hide it or anything. But Merlin was sure he felt the blush building underneath his skin, a low level shimmer trying to rear its ugly head…Lancelot wasn't HIS young man, as his uncle had worded it. Lancelot was just a…nice man who decided to do the right thing. And it was more than likely that Lancelot wasn't going to want anything to do with him by the time he woke up. Yet alone want to be a friend to him. Hell, for all he knew, Lancelot was just going to disappoint Merlin by turning out to be nothing but another Arthur. A stiff, abusive bastard who got his kicks off by yelling at Merlin for simply existing. Though…Merlin cast another mournful look towards Lancelot, was it really so wrong of him to want to prove the self doubt keeping him up at night that he was wrong?

Was it so wrong that Merlin wanted Lancelot to be as noble and honorable as he had looked when he defended Merlin from the beast?

Or was Merlin really just setting himself up for disappointment?

Merlin Pendragon sighed heavily and turned his back to Lancelot, knowing just staring at him wasn't going to give him the answers that he sought. And Merlin sipped at his tea absentmindedly, glancing around the room and it was almost impossible for him not to notice something odd. Merlin didn't know what it was exactly, but there was just something about this room, this space, that felt like it was different to him. He just couldn't quite pinpoint what it was, though he's sure it was just there. Hovering somewhere on the back of his tongue, though it bore no real answer that he could discern.

"Is there something different in here?" Merlin finally asked, if only to have just a bit of distraction that would keep his attention away from Lancelot and away from the strange looks of Gaius. He cast another look around, taking note and memorizing the opened books on the tables and the potions of the shelves or even the dust that covered the seat he was sitting on. But still…he wasn't able to find the words even as it niggled restlessly somewhere deep in the back of his mind. "Because I can swear there is something…off about this place. But I don't know exactly 'what' that is either…"

Merlin was so busy glancing around, he didn't notice the panicked look that fell on his uncle's face for a brief second before he hit it. Nor did he see that his uncle was casting similar looks of his own towards the bookshelf that held all his potions. Or the noticeable gaps between them where his poisons were before he had moved them out of sight. But he could hardly tell Merlin that, or he might wish to know where they were exactly. So no, it was better to keep it a hidden secret for now. At least until he could trust Merlin had gotten better enough where such concoctions wouldn't be considered hazardous. But now…

"No," Gaius lied easily as he took a drink of his own tea. He didn't like lying to his nephew, since it resembled the way that many people lied about him on the daily with their rumors and such. But some things were simply unavoidable and had to happen for one's own good. Whether they knew about it or not. But speaking of one's own good, Gaius set his teacup to the side and reached out to grab onto Merlin's still bloody hand. He waited until the consort looked back up so he could meet the grim determination that adorned his face. "I believe it is time for the two of us to have a little talk. Before certain things…happen."

X

Many hours later found Gaius sitting on his own in the same exact spot he had been sitting at earlier when he had his little discussion with Merlin. Right now, Merlin was currently upstairs in his room and should probably already be in the deadest sleep one could manage, having washed and eaten half a sandwich to fill his belly. Gaius had already sent a note with Knight Gregory, who knocked at his door earlier to question whether or not Merlin was safe at home, to give to Morgana. Warning her to stay away for the day but yes, Merlin hadn't tried to commit suicide today and was going to be alright. And now, he had a large tome opened in front of him that he had been reading by candlelight, night had long since fallen and it was probably the early hours of the morning, though it could be said that Gaius hadn't managed to read a single word of his book in this time.

He had a headache, and the small script was only making it worse.

Though the headache was probably from the long conversation he'd had with Merlin earlier in the day. The boy was quite…offended…when Gaius made all of the concerns about suicide known. It had been about to turn into this yelling match before Merlin had forced himself to calm down because he didn't want Lancelot waking up to a fight. It hadn't been the most fun conversation that he had been a part of, and Merlin had denied wanting to commit such an act, until Gaius had told him Morgana knew about it. Merlin had been…quite stunned by this. But it had at least gotten him to open up for a minute there.

'You don't have to worry about me, Uncle Gaius. Trying to kill myself with that poison was honestly…probably one of the best things I did. Because it helped me realize I don't want to die. And I'm not planning on taking my life any time soon…ever. If I can help it."

That was what Merlin had told him before he had disappeared up into his room to bathe himself off. It had been quite…concerning, for Gaius. But sometimes a traumatic experience WAS the thing somebody needed to admit they had been going down the wrong path. Gaius wasn't too pleased about Merlin's attempt being the 'best thing', but he grudgingly supposed it was better that Merlin, for a fact, knew he didn't want to die. Whether than only discovering this fact long after it was too late to actually save him. That didn't mean Gaius wasn't going to be keeping a close eye on him though. Just to be sure Merlin wasn't trying to fool him or anything. Morgana's information had been…the physician leaned back in his chair and pinched at the bridge of his nose, most disheartening.

It was hard, feeling helpless like this but not knowing if everything he tried to do for Merlin was only going to make him worse. And being restless because he wanted to do 'something' but there was literally nothing he could do. Hell, even using magic, if Gaius tried summoning what leftover magic he had, was not going to work. Oh, sure. He could command Merlin not to do something or be reckless, but mind spells like that were dark magic. Forcing one's will onto another person's and having them powerless to do anything other than obey your word? Sure, Merlin would live. But that didn't mean he would 'want' any life with Gaius holding the reins, not that he would do something so crude to his nephew, but still. Though…Merlin's magic was also quite strong. So it was every possibility that Merlin would be strong enough to break through such an enchantment if he tried.

Gaius tried to refocus his attention back onto his tome, but he only got about another three words in-the same three words he had been trying to read this entire time-but something else interrupted him. Not himself or his own thought anymore…this was a groan. A human groan. Gaius whipped his head up almost immediately, eyes landing on the man Merlin had brought into their lives. The man that was now moving, shifting about in his sleep…it was the first real sign of life they had seen from Lancelot during these long hours. Merlin had sat by his side for almost just as long, before Gaius had convinced him a wash would do him some good. It sounded though, as if Lancelot might be able to wake up though, and Gaius stood up and walked across the room to grab a cloth that'd been sitting in the water basin by the bed. Sitting on the edge of the bed, the aged physician started to wring out the water…he intended to lay it across the man's brow in order to ward off any fever that might appear, little chance of it happening. Amazingly enough, the wound hadn't shown any signs of infection setting in.

Gaius was just about to turn around when a hand, strong and firm and almost decidedly deadly if he chose to attack, grabbed onto him hard enough that it could have broken if twisted just slightly. "Where-" the strange man croaked out, half sitting up as if he was preparing for a threat to come, he stopped and groaned, grabbing onto his side in pain where the wound was. But still, he kept talking. "Where am I? What?" Gaius stared him down, seeing the eyes darting around but it was clear that this…Lancelot…was still out of it. His eyes going unfocused and hazy. "The boy…there was a boy…Merl…Merl…" it seemed as if Lancelot couldn't quite recall the full name in his foggy state, but it was close enough considering how out of sorts he was. "Is he alright?"

Gaius stared at the lad his nephew had brought to him with this oddly curious expression on his face…here the man was, only hours after losing a good fifty percent of his blood. And his very first question upon waking had been to ask whether or not Merlin was okay. Most people wouldn't even think about it, too busy for themselves and their own injuries. It made Gaius…cautious…on what reason this 'Lancelot' had to involve himself with his nephew. Gaius was more than cautious nowadays about strangers sniffing about his boy. Perhaps it was all coincidence and Lancelot really did just happen to come across Merlin the one moment he needed to be saved. But…what if it wasn't? There were a good thousand reasons Gaius could think off the top of his head why somebody was wanting to get close to Merlin. And not one of them was an honorable reason.

"He's fine." Gaius murmured beneath his breath, placing a hand on top of the man's, easing him off of him. Lancelot let him go, sinking back into his pillow and still blinking as if he didn't really know what he was seeing. Gaius couldn't even say for sure it Lancelot knew he was talking to somebody, or knew that he was taking at all, or if he would remember any of this come morning. Gaius talked though, the soothing sounds of a practiced physician easing Lancelot some. "That young man you saved is my nephew. And he brought you to me as I'm a physician. He's fine. And so will you be. Once you've gotten some proper rest."

Lancelot blinked again, slow, looking almost like a frog would, before nodding his head wearily. And Gaius watched as Lancelot fell back into his sleep just as quickly as he had awoken. Yes, Gaius thought as he finally rested the cloth on top of his forehead, smoothing it out so it was even, this Lancelot was quite a curious figure. He was definitely somebody Gaius was going to keep an eye on for the next few days to see what he was all about. If Merlin intended to bring his …new friend…into his inner circle, then Gaius would make sure he wouldn't be a danger to his nephew. He just hoped Merlin wouldn't be too disappointed if this Lancelot was not all that he seemed.

X

Many years ago, there lived a small family in an even smaller village miles and miles away from Camelot. They weren't anybody of any real importance, but it didn't matter to them because they were happy. They had never needed much to be happy. They had food in their bellies from living off the farming land they were in charge of, had friends among their neighbors whose children played so well with their own little bundle of joy, their little…Lancelot. Such an amazingly beautiful baby, though the couple may have been biased considering he would always be THEIR little bundle of joy.

This couple had one hardship that devastated them back in the earlier days of their marriage, and that had been their longing for children. The mother must have suffered through five different miscarriages, and losing each and every one of her babies made her feel inadequate. As if a small piece of her soul was breaking off every time she had to tell her husband she had lost the baby. But the two of them kept trying, they were desperate to have a baby so that their family could finally be completed. It would be almost an entire decade of them trying before they were finally gifted with the most beautiful gift of all…baby Lancelot.

He came into this world quiet as could be, not a sound to be heard, and the mother and father once again mourned for giving birth to a dead baby…until the local midwife gave their baby a good hard swat on the bottom. Just hard enough to startle the babe, and though it was only one short wail, Lancelot made a sound that indicated he was alive. The parents were weeping as they became overjoyed, the midwife finally delivering their little miracle baby into the mother's arms. And Lancelot just stayed silent, staring up at them with eyes that seemed as if they were too wide and too solemn for his own good. But the parents thought nothing of it, they simply considered their son an old soul, something that was said to bring good fortune onto a family.

They just knew this meant their son was going to be a good man.

And he exhibited many traits of this as he started to age.

The parents had stopped trying to have anymore children, content with their focus on the one they had. But still, the mother ended up falling pregnant not long after her darling Lancelot turned three. And once again, it was as if that piece of her soul was taken from her when she didn't have the baby. Lancelot climbed into her lap afterwards when she had been crying, and he pressed his little head into her chest and let her cry into his hair. He only spoke after she'd finished, looking up at him with his big solemn eyes that still felt like they were far too big for his head.

'It's okay mama. The baby is watching us from heaven now. And I'm going to keep you safe so no more babies make you sad.'

It was a silly thing to hear from a child, HER child telling her he would keep her safe when it was her duty to protect him from the unpleasantness that would come from the world around him. And it wasn't as if he could protect her from losing her babies, though ironically…she never got pregnant after that again either. She always wondered if it was because of her son's solemn promise to her, or if it was because god had finally decided to give her a break and let her enjoy her little life with her husband and their son.

That was only the first incident out of many they took note of.

Girls skinning their knees would have a little Lancelot pressing a kiss onto it to make sure she was going to feel better, but only after he asked because it was not polite to kiss a girl without asking permission first. Boys who needed help with their chores would always find Lancelot being the first one to offer, ready to make anybody else's day just a little bit brighter. Helping the elderly carry packages home and helping little animals free if they ended up caught inside a trap. Always so sweet, always so helpful, never wanting to see anybody hurt.

Their noble little Lancelot, he was soon nicknamed.

Sweet and enduring.

How were they to know such a name would follow their Lancelot well into his adult years, given to him through the noble actions he continued to display, not hardened by the world despite all the challenges that would come at him…

And yes, the challenges were going to hit hard.

The hardest of them coming not long after Lancelot reached his tenth spring.

They came late into the knight, so late that only the sheep bore witness to the arrival of these men. Twenty or thirty of them, each one being more gruff and rough than the one that came before them. Nobody was aware until it became too late to do anything about it. Until doors started being kicked in and women half dressed were dragged out into the streets, young and old, it didn't seem to matter to these strangers. Fathers and husbands and brothers who fought back were either tied up to watch or killed outright if they proved to be far too much of a hassle to be bothered with. It was the screaming that tore Lancelot from a sound sleep, and it was Lancelot who would never get the horrors that he saw from the windows out of his mind…twelve year old Savannah who lived just down the street being jumped on by a man older than her father. Ten year old Jacob racing to the aid of his sister only to have his throat slit before the frightened girl. Mothers being ripped from their daughters…fathers and sons executed on the spot…strange men laughing and jeering as they set a house on fire with the bedridden Old Man Ketch still trapped inside.

Even years later, the smoke would reappear in Lancelot's nostrils, the fires and the flames bright enough to lick the skies and light up the entire village in their time of suffering. People were running, innocent people Lancelot knew trying to make a valiant escape into the trees for sanctuary from the chaos, only for the men to catch them. Punished brutally for trying to escape, men with their throats slit and women with their bodices torn open for the hands of greedy men to feast themselves upon. Even the odd baby or two that lived within the village hadn't been spared, their head smashed with stone until the skull split open like a watermelon. It was horror and it was blood and the screaming was enough alone to echo in the nightmares of those who survived the onslaught.

If any survived the onslaught of the raiders.

Lancelot's mother was the one to drag him away from the windows, and it was Lancelot's mother who guided him down into the small little cellar hidden right beneath their floors. A small little nook just big enough for a handful of small people to hide beneath. Lancelot wouldn't know it at the time, having not ever known this was there before, but his parents were sorcerer sympathizers. The kind of people who, when the efforts of the great plague set by King Uther himself reached their village, would hide sorcerers on the run beneath their floor until they could evacuate to safety. Lancelot would, many years from now after he heard from some random man in the bar who liked to tell stories about all the chaos the plague had caused and who had explained to him what a nook under the floor meant, consider his parents to be some of the bravest people in the world. Smart, for somehow evading the truth of the hidden nook whenever Camelot knights would occasionally storm the village in search for these wayward sorcerer's after reports had reached them about said magically inclined escaping in their direction.

Perhaps this is what would make Lancelot grow with an open mind, compared to those that followed the propaganda Camelot spread on witchcraft.

Sadly, that bravery would not help them now.

As Lancelot's father stayed above and allowed the strange men who finally got to their home to take him with the rest of the menfolk, claiming desperately to them that his wife and child were visiting family in a village a few miles away from where they are now. Little Lancelot, spying through the small cracks that made up the wooden floor, watched as his father was taken…and that was the last time Little Lancelot would ever see his father again. Dead or alive, as their entire village would be demolished come morning's light. Little Lancelot would never know if the men that took his father believed him, but he did know that he laid there with his mother for over an hour. Listening to the screams of their neighbors and friends dying out and emerging loud enough to split the night in two. God, Lancelot had wanted to badly to help, but he was frozen stiff against his mother's bosom…

Until the smoke reached their nostrils.

Several houses had been caught on fire during the night, and one of them was his own. They had no choice other than to flee for their lives or continue lying here until the flames grew too thick for them to fight again. Risk being raped and murdered beneath the savagery of these men, or stay long enough to die by the flames. But while their house was close enough to the edge of the thick forest that should've offered them coverage until morning, it was not meant to be. Lancelot's mother, dragging Lancelot as fast as she could to the trees on the edges of the chaos, was grabbed from behind. She shrieked as her hand was violently wrenched from her son's, leaving Lancelot stranded on his own as the man who grabbed her dragged her to where several other women were being brutalized on the ground.

"RUN!"

His mother's desperate shriek to him, her only concern being for her only son and not the giant of a man roughly ripping up her nightdress as he settled into place between her thighs, was the last thing little Lancelot would ever hear his mother tell him. Run, she would beg of him even as her long hair was grabbed in a meaty fist and yanked back. Run, she would beg of him, even as the same man ripped open her bodice to reveal her chest to greedy eyes. Run, she was begging even as said man pushed inside of her hard enough to make her tear and bleed. Run, she would beg…even as she was violated. And Lancelot, even desperate as he was to help her, was only a scared little boy. And he did what he was raised to do.

He obeyed his mother.

And Little Lancelot made a mad dash to the forest, tripping and stumbling over the bodies of people he once knew left abandoned in the street, barely able to see through the sting of the smoke in his eyes, not stopping even long after he made it to the forest. He only stopped when he felt as if his lungs were a mere second away from combusting on him. Still too close because he could hear all the laughter coming from the men…Lancelot found himself a hollow hole at the foot a tree. Half covered in vines and bushes, barely big enough for him to get inside. He stayed in that hollow hole for almost three days, slowly dying as he went without water or food, nothing more than the tear tracks staining his face or the little beetles and spiders that crawled along the tree trunk, to keep him company.

He stayed even when the sun rose, and he stayed when it fell back down. Little Lancelot stayed even long after the jeering and the crying and the crackling of the flames died down to nothing. He stayed even when the only sounds he was able to hear was the sounds of his own breathing. Even when the woods grew still and quiet, as if the trees themselves were trying to coax him out, trying to let him know the bad men were gone and wouldn't be able to hurt him. Maybe he was in a state of shock, maybe he was scared somebody would come out of the shadows and grab onto him just like they had grabbed onto his mother the second he emerged. Maybe he was just…afraid.

But in the end, it was the most basis of need that caused Lancelot to emerge from his hiding hole nearly three days after the attack had happened…water. A substance so common in their parts due to the river that rested on the outskirt of their village. A substance that every living thing needed to continue its own survival, and Lancelot was no different. Though his desperate need for water is the very same thing that abandoned him when he eventually came home and saw the devastation of his village. Not a single home had remained standing or only the barest remains of the shell was being kept up by sheer force of its will …there was no bodies either. Though the remnants of blood and…the dried up ejaculation of men, had been left behind for him to find.

It only took Lancelot a few minutes of silent wondering before he eventually found the bodies…they had been burned. It looked as if the men had decided to use bodies to keep the bonfires they had set in the middle of the street alit, and there was no telling if the scorched and tangled remains melted together had been alive or already dead when they had been tossed into the towering flames. It didn't matter though, Lancelot supposed, the scent of rotting human flesh still strong enough for Lancelot to throw up right where he stood. Getting rid of what little might've remained in his stomach after three days of having nothing…

There was no distinguishing who the bodies belonged too. If it was everybody in the village, or if other people had managed to escape like he had, or had got …taken by the raiders for 'entertainment' on their way to the next village. And there was no telling if Lancelot's parents were in that pile, or if the bodies had gotten disposed of another way. He just knew that they were dead, and so was he. Or he might as well be dead…how was he meant to survive knowing he had gone the coward's way out. Not even being told later on that he would've only ended up dead as well if he tried to help, would be enough to leave behind the guilt Lancelot would carry with him for a lifetime.

But that was neither here or there.

And Lancelot continued on with his exploration, until…he came across a sword half buried in the dirt. He had nearly stumbled right over it, unable to see what it was from the filth that covered it. And Lancelot sat himself right there in the dirt without a word and dug it up. When he was done, he held that blade along his lap and looked at the dried blood crusting on the edge of it….he would not ever know whose blood it was. Maybe it was Ms. Patricia, the lady who used to watch him when he was small and his mother was tending to the fields. Or just maybe, it was baby Tabitha's, who had just learned how to walk earlier with the coming of the spring. Lancelot didn't know how long he remained there as he held onto a blade that came from the raiders, trying not to wonder if the blood might've belonged to his mother or father…

Camelot soldiers arrived later that same day and found him in that same spot.

They fed him and watered him and nearly got bit when they tried taking away the sword. Lancelot didn't know why it was so important, but he kept hold of the sword as he should have kept hold of his mother. He sat by himself as the soldiers talked about what to do with him, he heard…only survivor…a lot from their conversation. And that fact nearly broke him, perhaps Lancelot had gone and convinced himself that there was no chance 'he', as weak and as small as he was, could have been the only one to survive the onslaught. But no amount of crying would change anything…Lancelot was alone.

And changed.

The Camelot soldiers were decent to him, wrapping their cloaks around his skinny frame in order to shield him from the cold. They didn't take him to the city though. They only took him as far as the next village over, larger than the one he had came from, where he would be allowed to work for his living on a small farm. Where several other orphaned boys and girls were also staying…it was how Lancelot learned his village hadn't been the first to be attacked. And it wouldn't be the last, before Camelot's men finally managed to catch up to the raiding party nearly three years after they had destroyed Lancelot's home.

Lancelot had formed an…attachment…so to speak, to the men that saved him from the wreckage of his home. He saw their shining red capes and the gleam of their armor and weaponry, their riding horses strong enough to carry them for long distances, sweeping into town after town to save the poor villagers in them who would never be able to save themselves. And he dreamed, a lot, of being one of them. Of forging a new family with his brothers in arms, watching little boys and girls look up to him as he rode them away from the danger, and being quick enough to save their mothers from falling to the same fate that his had…

And so, on the eve of Lancelot's thirteenth birthday, mere days after learning the raiding party had came to an end, he lay in his bed. His hand resting on the sword he kept hidden beneath his bed even after all these years later, cleaned and shining as brightly as the Camelot's knights had been, he made a solemn vow only he himself heard…to never again be helpless in the fact of tyranny. To never again abandon the people who needed him. To be strong, so he wouldn't need to run away from the danger. It would take Lancelot ten years of the most intense training he could put himself through, self taught mostly as he snuck around to watch soldiers training in the fields when they stopped at the local inn as they passed through, before he finally deemed he was ready to get his hands on his lifelong dream at the ripe age of twenty three…

To become a Knight of Camelot himself.