A/N: Well, well, well, I'm a liar. This chapter isn't supposed to be up until next week! A few things changed my mind and I decided to post it early. First, the release of the Fallout series. I haven't had a chance to watch it yet but I've heard good things. So, I guess, to commemorate it's launch, I'm releasing a chapter a week early! On top of that, I've been working on a new project recently and I plan on posting that next week on my normal posting day for this story. As much as I enjoy torturing myself, I'm not that crazy. So, that being said, have a chapter. Leave a review if you're so inclined and, as always, enjoy!

Chapter 85: All is Fair

What the hell had that dream meant?

It was the third one I've had, all of them in the school? Why had they all been there? What did the books mean? Why was Dogmeat in the first one and none of the others?

As much as I tried to pay attention to the base around me as I walked back toward our holding cell, memories of that dream kept pulling it away.

I guess, then, it was a good thing this latest 'test' had been a physical one, instead of combat. The obstacle course was the normal fare: climbing, balancing, and strength-based obstacles meant to test a person's fitness and dexterity. They were made with normal people in mind, not SPARTANs in power armor.

That meant I was able to complete the course while paying it… practically no attention. My mind had been consumed by whatever the hell I'd dreamt last night. This time, at least, I hadn't woken up trembling so hard I could barely see straight. This time, when I woke up, it was quiet and I was- I don't know if 'calm' is the right word, but I wasn't suffering the adrenaline dumps from the last two.

While we walked, I was aware of Deacon pacing beside me, talking quietly. I knew he was telling me about their preparations, I even responded when prompted. Their layout of the base was complete now and had put together a few proposed escape routes. At some point, he said he'd been able to contact Danse and lay out a plan with the recon team. They'd been able to borrow some of the Raiders' explosives and would start laying them tonight. He and Able had the opportunity to talk while we were in the CQC course fighting Raiders.

The Railroad operative even hinted that our Brotherhood contingency was a go.

All of it was information my mind took in and stored. I offered a few suggestions like, if the opportunity arises, I should capture or kill Castle. Pathing through the base was important and, while I might not have as detailed a map as they did, I could offer them some flexibility and options. Moving to the eastern or western edge of the base before heading south would reduce the potential avenues for attack. Making sure they were able to stay away from the Brotherhood's component of the attack would reduce the risk of a crossfire and the numbers we'd be fighting.

Most importantly, during an escape, I can buy them time and space as a focus for the Raiders. I can give them a rabbit to chase.

What I'd said when he started protesting was, "I'm here because I can do this. Let me."

Deacon didn't look convinced but he nodded and continued.

That being said, it wasn't what I was paying attention to. Which is probably not great. But I've been part of enough briefs, I could unpack it all later.

These dreams, and whatever's going on in them- those are new.

Besides not understanding what they meant, I was… uncomfortable thinking about them. I don't know why. The dreams themselves had definitely felt odd and, now that I'm awake, I could tell they hadn't been real. It didn't feel that way when I was in the dream, though.

Their close approximation of reality wasn't why they made me uncomfortable. It was something else.

When we neared the building, Deacon stopped talking and frowned.

"How's everyone doing?" he asked after a moment's pause.

That was an easy answer. "Stressed."

"How stressed? Will they be able to last long enough? We're still a few days out. Most of our prep is done but the rest has to go slow to avoid blowing our cover."

Blake, Laura, Miranda, and Trent were better than they had been yesterday but they were still quiet. Brenda spent a lot of time with them. I realized after a while it must have been their first time killing. And they, like Brenda, had to do it fighting Raiders to stay alive.

It wasn't as if they had a choice. And I'm not the one who made them do it. If they hadn't fought, tried to leave it to Nate and me, they would have died.

Even so, I still felt guilty. They're all in this situation because of me, aren't they? Because Castle wanted me?

That's both selfish and shortsighted. Jackson and Jessica both talked about this. The Minutemen would be under assault with or without me.

That doesn't make them right.

No, but they are right.

… Alright.

And then there was Julian. I don't know how he'll turn out. I don't know if he'll recover from this. Or, if he does, it will be any time soon.

He's been through so much in such a short amount of time. And he doesn't have years of experience, training, and, in my case, augmentations and a suit of powered combat armor to rely on.

Despite that, the kid was still holding it together, even if there were some cracks.

"They're working through it but I don't know." I glanced down at him for a split second before returning my gaze straight ahead. "Take the time you need. We aren't gonna get a redo."

The grimace that flashed across his face was so fast it was more of a twitch than a full-blown expression.

"Yeah, I just hate leaving you guys in the lurch like this."

My eyes drifted back to the head of this little formation, where Castle walked. It was small and spaced out. How Deacon convinced them to let him be my close escort, I have no idea but we were talking quietly enough they couldn't hear.

What the hell had those books meant?

After hours of thinking, I didn't know. All I did know was one word stuck out in my mind. I don't know if it was actually in the book I'd picked up or if I'm imagining it after the fact but I think "Wendy" had been written on one of the pages. I know I couldn't read it in the dream but… I don't know. I know dreams pull from things that happen in real life. Since she'd been a recent… victim of mine, someone I had to kill despite not wanting to, it could be she was still something I was dwelling on.

But I don't think that was it.

Wendy… goddammit, how could I have not thought of a way out of that? My ineptitude had cost her life.

Really? What would I have done? Threatened to kill Castle? Kill Castle and get everyone else killed?

It was- I don't know but I could have done something.

Castle stopped at the base of the short flight of stairs that led to my temporary 'home'. She turned to me, empty, emotionless smile plastered on her scarred face.

"Be honest with me, Damon. Was that hard?" she asked.

"The obstacle course?"

She nodded.

"No", I replied, shaking my head.

The Raider laughed. "I figured. I told them you'd need something more challenging. Your strategy for getting through the trap hall in the Gauntlet wasn't something just anyone could do."

Tactic, not strategy.

What a useless correction…

"What would have made that difficult for you?"

That's a lot more straightforward than usual. "I'm not giving you more information than I need to."

Castle's expression remained frozen. "And what if I say this is information you need to give me."

Something I've started realizing is, despite the situation, this isn't a one-sided relationship. Yes, she has my people held hostage and, yes, that's keeping her head attached to her neck. However, she only has so much capital she can use. That goes both with me and her bosses. That fight against the Raiders used up most of her leash with them, I think. That might be why she went with such a simple test this time around; she used up her leash with the Raider leadership, she doesn't want to do the same with me. Not until she's more sure she can 'win' me over. Or break me. Or whatever.

"You won't because it isn't that important", I said.

"And how'd you know that? Maybe I think it's real important to know what my soon-to-be partner can do."

Partner. I cocked my head but didn't respond.

She barked another laugh. "Oh come on Damon! You got what you wanted, you fought our people. You didn't have to kill any of those poor, poor prisoners you care so much about." The Raider sneered. "For some reason. And I even took it easy on ya here! Just a little obstacle course. You should be in a great mood!"

Oddly enough, she wasn't entirely wrong about that. During the fight I'd come the closest I've been in a while to being- I don't know if 'happy' is the right word, but it was close enough. I was proud of the people Nate had chosen. They handled themselves better than they had any right to. Especially considering they hadn't killed before.

But then it all comes back to why they had to kill, why they had to be exposed to it in the way they were. They hadn't fought to defend their homes. They were put into a situation where they had no choice but to kill for no other reason than Castle wanted to see us fight their people. And that had been to prove a point to her bosses, at least in part.

Was that why I felt, I don't know, guilty about what they're feeling now? Because of the situation they'd been forced into?

Think about that later. Focus on this for now.

"You captured my people to bring me here, I'm stuck in the middle of this base while the Minutemen fight your people to keep them from massacring more settlements, and who the hell knows what the Institute and Brotherhood are doing. I'm in a real fuckin bad mood, Castle."

She frowned. "But you're getting to do what you were born to do. There has to be something fun about that, right?"

It felt like she was fishing.

Yes, I couldn't lie to myself, I enjoyed fighting the Raiders. I enjoyed doing to them what they forced me to do to other prisoners.

Problem is, I still did that to other prisoners.

17. I've never kept count but- I couldn't help it now.

Since coming here, I've killed as many prisoners as people I came to save. How the hell does that math work out?

"There are some fights you lose." Wendy's last words.

Before I shot her.

"I wasn't born to kill people", I said.

"Pfft!" She blew a raspberry. "No one does what you do without being born to do it. No one makes it look like you do. I walked through those halls after the Gauntlet. I did the same in the course. The way you ripped through those people… ugh." She was smiling again, eyes closed, head tilted back.

For the second time since coming here, she was showing real emotion. It was… exhilaration. Why? Was it because she liked the thought of my killing? Or she liked the thought she was the one who made me kill? Or was it something else?

"Those people were things in your way." Castle opened her eyes again but she didn't look back at me. Her gaze remained fixed on the morning sky above us. "Just like the obstacle course. There was nothing in those fights to challenge you. What I want to see", she finally met my gaze again, "is what you look like when you really try. There's an art to what you do and artists do their best work when they're pushed the hardest. I want to see what your best work looks like."

My best work? I don't know what that would look like.

What I do know is she won't be the one to pull it out of me. At least, not for whatever she wants.

"Is there something else you need from me?" I asked.

Castle's smile faded back to its usual, empty facade. "You already know the answer to that question. Don't worry, we have time." She took a step toward me. Still well out of arm's reach. "And I can tell I'm getting to you. You don't need to say it for me to know. I know killing those prisoners bothers you. Or… the 'you' you've fooled yourself into acting like. Why would you have asked to fight Raiders if it wasn't to protect yourself? It sure as hell wasn't to protect your friends."

Without waiting for a response, the Raider turned and marched up the steps to the building.

She might be psychotic, but she was intelligent. And she was way too attentive. How the hell did she hit that nail so squarely on the head? How had she gleaned the fight that was going on in my head right now?

And, if she was attentive enough to guess that… was she right? Am I struggling this much because the real me is the one who fought and killed for ONI for a decade?

My feet carried me forward and into the building after her.

I… when I'd been fighting the prisoners in that cage match, I hadn't thought about killing them, I just had. Granted, I went out of my way to not kill all of them but, in the moment, killing the ones I did hadn't bothered me.

So which is it? Is this me, the one who can't decide how to feel about what I do, the real me? Or is the one that I am while I'm fighting the real one?

Are these dreams trying to tell me something about that?

A minute later, we were at the cell. One of the Raiders with Castle unlocked the door. I hadn't seen York since yesterday.

At this point, I might hate that asshole more than Castle. At least Castle isn't a coward.

Once I'd stepped inside, the door slammed shut and locked. The Raiders started filing out, including Deacon, but Castle paused and looked at Nate.

"I think it's about time for you to decide too. Things are getting tight." With a quick smile at me, she followed the others out of the Cafeteria.

Was she saying Nate would need to decide if he'd join them? I still hadn't asked him about that. I'm guessing Castle said something about it before I got here. The question was had she mentioned it because she wanted a response, or because she was trying to elicit some sort of reaction.

Footsteps approached from behind me. My first thought was that would be Nate but the weight and cadence were both wrong, too light and quick. Someone smaller than the ex-soldier. When I turned, I found myself looking at Miranda. She was thinking about something, hard. Between her furrowed brow and deep frown, it wouldn't have been clearer if it had been written on her forehead.

Unlike the first time we talked, it took her a few seconds to find her voice.

"This- well-", she started twice, cutting herself off both times. The older woman took a deep breath and tried again. "It might be a little weird for me to ask since we only really met the other day but can- Brenda said it might be a good idea to talk to you about- something."

Talk to me about something? Julian and now her? I looked over her at Brenda who was standing at the back of the room, eyes fixed on me. The rest of the support team was watching too. As soon as I looked up, they all began pretending they'd been doing anything else.

"It's only a question", Miranda added quickly. When I dropped my gaze to meet hers again, she was looking a little nervous.

If Brenda thinks I can help… "Go ahead."

"Does this… ever get easier? Fighting?"

Does fighting get easier? "What do you mean?"

"Well- this isn't the first time I've fought. Hell, that time the Institute attacked Sanctuary wasn't even the first time." She pinched the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath. "It's been a while but I've had a few run-ins before. Nothing like this though. Nothing like what's happened since I joined the Minutemen."

She was with the Minutemen when the Institute attacked Sanctuary? Not that it's relevant to the current situation, but that is an interesting piece of information.

"Yes, it gets easier", I said. "It did for me."

Miranda cocked an eyebrow. "I don't think any of us are gonna turn into you."

That was… "That's fair. The type of fighting I do, and the type of fighting this is, are different from protecting yourself from Raiders, bandits, and wildlife. You'll get used to it."

As the words left my mouth, I knew that was the wrong thing to say. Well, maybe wrong wasn't the right word. They would all get used to it. They'd have to if we want to survive. The 'wrong' part about that is they have to get used to it. Even in this post-apocalyptic hellhole, wars are still fought over scraps.

This shit never changes.

"I… don't know if that's reassuring or not", Miranda said, voice barely above a whisper.

I nodded. "I'm sorry."

She tried to smile. It came across as sickly. "Not your fault. You didn't start this fight."

That was true, I didn't, but I'm the one who catalyzed this version of the Minutemen.

Preston was right, though. Regardless of whether I got involved, they would have been pulled into this war. It's better that I'm here. I glanced at Nate, the ex-soldier was talking with Trent. And I guess him too.

"You're right", I said with a shrug. "Doesn't mean I don't regret you having to be part of it."

Miranda's smile turned a little more genuine. "Thanks. And… thanks for answering my question."

It didn't feel like she was grateful. Not that she should be. I doubt the answer I gave her was all that comforting. "No problem."

When she turned to head back to the other four, I realized I had been wrong. They- at least she- have been in fights. Not a surprise considering the state of the world.

Like I said: this type of fighting is different. They aren't fighting off small groups, they're engaged in a prolonged, relatively organized war.

Before I could do anything else, I heard another group approaching the cafeteria again. Was this York? Was he coming back now I'm back in the cell? Or because Castle isn't here anymore?

But, when the doors slammed open again-

It was Castle.

Why was she back?

Whatever the reason, the quick turnaround can't be good. I doubt she even had time to leave the building.

"Nate!" the woman exclaimed as she marched back through the door and into the cafeteria. "You know, I realize I haven't been paying you enough attention. I hope you can forgive me. How's my second-favorite prisoner doing?"

The ex-soldier turned to face the front of the cell, frowning at her. "I'm a prisoner, Castle."

"Well, you don't have to be." She strolled to the other cell and leaned against it, seemingly unconcerned with the prisoners inside.

"You know, I offered him the chance to join us. Unlike you people, he'd be more useful than just entertainment. Can you believe he'd turn that down to sit around here with you?" The Raider threw her hands out to her sides. "He could have stopped all of this. You wouldn't be wasting your time killing prisoners now. No, you'd be out fighting the Brotherhood."

What the hell? I blinked. "I wouldn't have joined if he had. What makes you think I would have?" I jerked my helmet over my shoulder at the ex-soldier. "I broke his arm over making a bad call. Shot him after that."

Castle hesitated.

"What?" Nate muttered when she didn't respond. "Did you think he follows me around on a leash?"

The lapse didn't last much longer.

"No, no, no, you're missing the point", she said almost as soon as the ex-soldier was done talking, turning back to look at Nate. "All it means is you're procrastinating. We all know how this ends up. Damon came here to try and save you. You underestimate the influence you have over him." Her eyes switched to me. "Your cooperation would make it much easier to accept who he is. He wouldn't have the fake concern of your well-being holding him back."

The Raider pushed herself away from the bars and marched toward us. Her empty eyes never left me.

"I was thinking about our talk, Damon. You really have let yourself be fooled into thinking this… sympathy is you. That it controls you. And I have a feeling I know who did it." She tore her eyes away from me and looked at Nate again. "Maybe it wasn't on purpose. Maybe you just scared him and, to make himself more comfortable around you, he made you think you cared about these random people. Maybe he wanted you to think what you do is wrong." She shrugged. "I don't know, I can't see into the past. But I'd be willing to bet the reason he's all touchy-feely now started with you, Nate."

… Even if she was right, how would this work in her favor? Why would this help her?

"What's your point?" I asked.

"My point is, Damon, I know you've been having doubts." Her smile turned sharp. "Don't think I didn't see how unsure of yourself you were after our little game with Buck and Wendy. I already told you I know why you wanted to fight my people instead of these losers", she waved a hand behind her at the other cell. "I saw you thinking so hard smoke was coming out of that helmet of yours on our way back here this morning." She crossed her arms. "You know what I think? I think you're afraid to fight more prisoners because you're afraid you might enjoy it. That all this is just a show to make the people you've surrounded yourself with, you're drowning yourself with, comfortable. I'm offering you the chance to be with people", she unfolded her arms and motioned at the building around us, "who appreciate you for who you are."

My jaw set and my eyes narrowed. Who I am? How the hell do you know who I am?

I could ask myself that but… there was that damn voice whispering in the back of my head that "maybe she's right".

Because I do enjoy fighting. At least, sometimes. And when I do it, I can block pretty much everything else out.

But then… why was I so desperate to come here? Why was I so willing to throw myself into the fire for these people, half of whom I don't know?

Did I do that to try and convince myself I care? No- no I can't think that. If I did, all the time and energy people have spent on me would be a waste. And I can't think that because the people I've come to care about-

Laughter.

Laughter exploded from my right.

When I looked, I saw Brenda. She was standing at the far side of the cell.

"You dumb bitch", she said between breaths. "You're still saying that?" The younger woman met Castle's glare. "You trying to convince us or yourself?"

Castle's smile vanished. "I don't need to convince you of anything." She held her hands out as wide as she could, like the Raider was trying to wrap them around the 20-meter-wide cell. "I've been right about everything so far. I've gotten you all here without having to fire a single shot." She looked at me. "I brought the mighty Damon to heel." Her arms fell to her sides. "I am right. You don't need to believe it."

"You haven't done a goddamn thing", Alex snapped. She stepped next to me. "You let other people do your fighting and dying for you. You think you know any of us? We put our caps where our mouths are. If one of us is in trouble, we all handle it, we don't force other people to."

Someone else stepped forward.

Trent.

It was Trent.

"You're wrong", he said. He wasn't as animated as the other two but there was a certainty in his low, steady voice. "If Damon was trying to fool himself, he wouldn't have dove into the fire to save us. He cares, you don't understand how or why, and that kills you. You want him to be like you and he isn't."

The former Institute scientist met my gaze for an instant.

"Are you all done?" Castle snapped. For the first time since I got here, the Raider sounded genuinely irritated.

"Good", she continued without waiting for a response. "Look, I love hearing about how much you believe in your friend here, But the fact remains he is what he is." She waved a hand at me. "Look at him. He's a weapon of war. And he's good at it. Someone doesn't do that as well as he does without enjoying it. How many of you have seen him outside that armor? How many of you have seen his face?" Castle paused for a few seconds. "I didn't think so. Face it, Damon is exactly what I think he is." She marched up until her face was a few centimeters from the bar. Her eyes were fixed on my visor. "The sooner you realize it, the easier all of this will be."

Once she was finished, silence cast itself over the cafeteria again. I didn't know if it was because they were all thinking, or because they didn't feel the need to say anything.

Whether she was right about me or not, she was right about one thing: I've known these people for a while now and none of them even know what I look like. Why, after all this time, am I still unwilling to, at the very least, take my helmet off around them?

Yes, more people know me by my helmet than my face back in UNSC space but… I've never had the types of relationships I do with the people here. As much as Fourier, Amanda, and Liam tried, and cared, I don't think I would have called them friends.

Something about that thought felt wrong. It felt like I was insulting them and their effort. Because they did care.

Even so, it was the truth. I have no issue taking the blame for that, though. It was who I was. It would be different now.

With everyone here… why haven't I shown them that trust?

I had to consciously stop myself from reaching up to my helmet.

Was Castle insinuating I never took my helmet or armor off because they're who I am? My armor was, obviously, built to be a weapon of war. And… if I was more comfortable in it than out, I couldn't say it wasn't part of who I am.

My eyes drifted down to myself.

At the same time, this armor was the closest thing I've had to a home since the attack. It's gone through iterations and modifications over the years, but I've lived with it, lived in it, longer than I lived in my childhood home. In a sense it is me.

That being said, it isn't all of me. Not anymore.

I stepped forward. The guards behind Castle raised their rifles to aim at me.

"You're wrong."

As the words left my mouth, I felt… something shift in my chest. I didn't know what it was, not exactly, but the closest thing I could think of was relief. Saying that- meaning that- felt like I lifted a five-ton weight off myself.

And I did mean it.

Castle's eyes narrowed and her jaw clenched.

"We'll see about that", she hissed through her gritted teeth.

Turning, she stomped from the cafeteria, followed by her guards. Her departure felt different this time. When the door slammed shut, the sound was deeper and louder than normal. There was something… definite about it.

"She's scrambling", Able said from behind me. I turned to face the Railroad operative. "She feels like she's losing control and that scares her."

Alex crossed her arms. "Which means she's gonna try something."

Able nodded.

That tracked. Castle was becoming erratic. To this point, she'd gone out of her way to show me she was in control. It felt like she wasn't sure about her assessments or plans anymore and she was trying to test them. Something I noticed was she flipped back and forth between saying we're running out of time, and that we have plenty of it multiple times in the last half hour. Was she fishing? Trying to see what would get a reaction?

So if she wasn't sure about her assessment, the logical next step would be to test it.

"She'll put me in another fight with prisoners. And if that doesn't work, she'll get desperate. If she loses control, the leadership will try to put an end to this." I put my hands on my hips and looked up at the ceiling. Shit. "We're out of time."

So much for Deacon needing a few days…

He'd know. I had to trust he'd know. They'll do what they can in the time they have.

That means our next step needs to be finishing the escape plan. I'm sure everyone will want to talk about it but… that isn't what I need right now.

"I need a few minutes", I said. I walked to the small alcove that had become my normal position and sat. As much as I wanted to figure out what the dream means, why, I think, Wendy's name was written in that book, and why I'm having them now, there are a lot of things I need to unpack. The leash we had was about out. We need to use all the information we have to put a workable plan together now.

Pushing the last 15 minutes away, I shifted focus to what Deacon had been saying during our walk back from the obstacle course. South side of the base. That's where Danse would take his team. It was good. The crest of the hill to the south of us had a commanding view of the base. It stayed away from the northern motor pool, and the Raiders' best people. They would have to deal with the overwatch there but there wasn't much I could do about that. I would have to trust them to get it done.

Then there's our part.

Regardless of whether the Brotherhood shows up, it's going to be up to us to escape. Deacon hadn't told me how many explosives they managed to take. He'd know the more the better. Unfortunately, it wasn't just about how much he wanted to steal, it was how much he could get away with stealing.

A good question to ask once they lay them. They'll have a better idea of coverage.

From that point, it's about creating as much chaos as possible. Creating chaos is something I've done plenty but… 21 of us against 4000, even with me, is a losing proposition.

My eyes drifted up and across to the other cell. Or, the small piece of the other cell visible through the alcove's mouth.

Nate wanted to get some other prisoners on our side… That would help with the odds but we wouldn't be able to protect them. We'll be trying to get ourselves out.

That being said, it could be like the last time I broke prisoners out of here. They'd almost been more concerned with getting payback on the Raiders than they had been in getting out. If the Raiders hadn't blown the side of the building up, I would probably have had to leave them here.

And they'd seemed fine with that.

Is there a way to ask? Or… do they not want anything to do with us after- I killed some of them.

My face twisted in a grimace. Being tricked into killing the other prisoners in the Gauntlet? That might have been more aggravating than the fight with Julian. That's without thinking about how Castle was trying to trick me into killing Vince and Julian.

"We need each other." Yeah, sure.

If there was a way to get the other prisoners on our side, we'd need more than the dozen in the other cell. The infiltration team may know where the others are kept. They might be able to break them out with the time comes. If they can, that would help, even if they didn't want anything to do with us.

Buck.

That team had been better prepared than I'd expect a bunch of prisoners to be. Buck was the one who stood out. If we could get his support…

Looks like I need to have another conversation with Deacon. Or Able needs to have another conversation with Deacon.

The next few minutes passed, different options coming to mind as I tried to construct an escape route for us. Our starting point would be crucial; it had to be in a location that gave us as much space as we could find with as few guards. If we could get the infiltration team wherever we are as part of the guard, that would be ideal.

I ran the layout of the base's southern areas through my head. With the number of people we'd be fighting, we need to be fast and elusive. I'll need to draw as much attention away as I can. Mobility won't be a problem, there are plenty of routes I can take through the countless buildings in the base…

Drawing attention. There's always one surefire way to draw attention: go after someone's boss. It's what we did when we tried assassinating Maxson. Getting to the Raider leadership in the basement of that motor pool would be too difficult without significant planning. That's a no-go.

… But that doesn't mean all of their leaders are out of my reach. Castle is a perfect target.

It would have to be fast, though. Pull the Raiders away, hit Castle, and double back to help the others. Their focus would be on me, for obvious reasons, but that doesn't mean the rest of the team would be free and clear.

Maybe that's where the other prisoners can help. I don't need them to get to Castle but everyone else could definitely benefit from having the extra manpower.

So that leaves me with three things I need to figure out: if we can get some support, where Buck is being held, and where Castle stays.

While I can probably handle that last one myself, I'll need Nate and Able for the other two.

Sure enough, the ex-soldier rounded the corner into the alcove a moment later.

"You come up with anything?" he asked as he stopped in front of me.

Straight to the point, huh? No preamble? "You're starting to sound like me."

A bemused frown spread across Nate's tired face. "Or maybe I know the details of a regular, human interaction would be wasted effort on you."

Despite everything, I huffed. He was right about that. "Do you know if we have any sort of support from the other prisoners?"

"I… don't", the infantryman mused. He glanced over his shoulder toward the other cell. "Some of them seem like they might support us if we did something but that's a big ask. I've been trying to figure that out since we got here. Castle making you fight them hasn't helped."

He didn't mean that as an accusation. That doesn't mean it didn't feel like one. And it wasn't just because of the impact my actions have had on our potential support.

"There's one guy who might be useful", I said, pushing the discomfort away for the time being. "His name is Buck, the guy Castle almost killed in that cage match I had with Julian. He isn't a normal citizen. He has formal training, maybe experience in a militia."

Nate looked at the other cell again. "Well, he isn't in there."

I shook my head. "We need someone in the infiltration team to find him. I want to do the same thing I did on the peninsula. Buy you all some time by drawing their attention. The more people you have until I can rendezvous, the better."

"Draw their attention?" Nate cocked an eyebrow. "In the middle of their base? Seems like that might be hard to do. Their attention will be everywhere. Especially during a prison break."

"Normally, yes. I'm going after Castle."

There was a heartbeat's pause before the infantryman let out a long, deep breath and closed his eyes. "You sure can hold a grudge. Going after her in the middle of trying to escape from the most heavily guarded prison… probably in the world right now." When he opened his eyes again, there was a twinkle of amusement between them and the small smile that turned up the edges of his mouth. "You're a vindictive bastard."

"It's a good way to divert their attention", I said.

"Uh-huh. You're telling me you aren't holding a grudge?"

"No." I shook my head again. "I'm telling you going after her would be a good way to draw attention."

His smile grew. "Alright, as long as you admit it."

"Incorrect", I said as I pushed myself to my feet. "I didn't deny it, that isn't the same as admitting it."

"What are you, a goddamn lawyer?" he asked. "So how are we gonna find Buck?"

"Deacon's team will have to."

"And how are they gonna find Buck?"

I frowned. "Carefully…" There are a lot of moving parts here. We need them to be in sync without the ability to communicate in real time. My diversion, Deacon's preparations, the team's route, Danse's position, the prisoners…

We'll need to get creative.

X

"Work our way to the west side of the base, then head south", Nate said. "That way we eliminate one direction of attack."

"That only works if they don't have overwatch in the hills", I replied. "We're 400 meters away from the southern edge of the base."

The ex-soldier turned to Able. "You think Danse and whoever he has with him can cover that kind of distance?"

Able nodded. "He's got five people from our field units with him. I don't know who all Dez chose, but they'll be good. Some of the best."

"If we stick with sound movement principles and their overwatch is at the top of the hill, we'll be alright then", Nate continued. "But… this is a fight. We have to entertain the possibility of losing people." He frowned. "That's how these things go."

The way he said that carried the tired experience of someone who has dealt with it before.

And, unfortunately, he was right. We've lost people in almost every fight we've been in. The Institute's assault on Sanctuary, my assault on Quincy. The only ones we haven't lost people in are ones where I'm the only person involved from our side or they were small enough for me and whoever I was with to control.

"Agreed", I said. "I'll do my best to draw as many away as I can. You'll need manpower."

Able shifted, his back still against the wall. "I'll do my best with Deacon but this base isn't a small place, they have to be careful, and we're operating on limited time. You think Buck is that important?"

It was my turn to nod. "He had the people I fought using squad tactics. He and Wendy were the only ones who looked like they had formal training."

"So you think he has some support."

"Yeah. And, I think", I glanced at the other cell, "we might too. Even with- what I've done."

Neither of them tried to argue I wasn't at fault. They both knew it didn't matter.

The others were in the main part of the cell, 'enjoying' their food. Nate and Able had yet to eat.

"Go get something", I said. "We can keep going while you eat."

Again, neither argued. We had, apparently, better rations than most of the other prisoners but it still wasn't good food. Or enough food. Everyone could use as much as they could get. I… would survive. For the time being.

One thing I did know, whatever 'trial' she put me through next, it would involve fighting prisoners again.

We had our escape planned, we were on a short timetable, and we had a good idea of what elements were in play.

It's just about the right opportunity now.

Is there something we can do to push them? If there was… it couldn't be too overt.

"Hey!" I heard one of the prisoners call from the other cell. "You think it's a good idea to get her all riled up like that? We still gotta deal with her, even if you're her favorite."

Maybe, like Nate said, I'm feeling vindictive at the moment but I'm not sure it's a bad idea. While I'm not necessarily one to talk, Castle isn't the most stable person. She's smart, cunning, and ruthless, yes. She's also easy to agitate when things aren't going her way. It's possible she makes a mistake that gives us an opening.

So… there may be 'something' we can do. If we did anything, it would have to involve undermining her. It would have to involve making her feel like things are getting out of control. From what I've seen, the best way to do that would be to have someone she thinks of as a rival gain ground.

How would we do that?

"It'll be alright", Nate called back. "She's still focused on her new toy."

I moved out into the main part of the cell. It was the man who had first raised an issue when I arrived. Not that I blame him for it. He was standing in front of his cell's door. The man's weathered, gaunt face didn't look upset, but I couldn't help but notice the accusation in his question.

One of the others, the same guy who was still unhappy with me, grunted. "That just means she's gonna put us in there with her 'new toy'. Get him to kill us too."

While I know she's going to put me in another fight with prisoners after what just happened, we needed to come up with a plan for what to do.

"I'm not killing anyone", I said, turning back to face the other cell. "No one who isn't a Raider."

"Yeah? That right?" The older man jabbed a finger in our direction. "What happens if she says she's gonna kill 'em. You gonna let 'em die for us? I don't think so."

He was right, I wouldn't, but that means it's my job to figure out how to do both. I'm not going to have another moment like I did with Wendy. I know what kind of game Castle is playing. I know what tricks she'll pull. So now I need to plan for them. If she does something similar to what happened with Wendy I-

Now there's an idea…

I stole a quick glance at Terry. He was, as always, sitting against the bars, staring at everyone.

What if we could use him to put pressure on Castle? If we make her fall back on that same tactic, there might be some ways to exploit it.

"You're right, I wouldn't", I said. "Neither will happen."

"I'll believe it when I see it."

We had a little time. We just need to figure out what we're gonna do with it.

"We won't disappoint", Nate said

So, if I'm going to force Castle into doing the same thing she had with Wendy again, how would I get around it? How would I take her initiative away without putting everyone else at risk?

As usual, when the attention turned to me, everyone on the support team had fallen quiet. I could feel their eyes on my back. I wanted to say they were expecting too much from me, that they shouldn't rely on me like they are.

But they have to right now. The only thing keeping them alive is Castle's obsession with me. I could deal with the implications once we aren't in danger.

"Nate", I said quietly, "how can we force Castle into another situation like my first fight against the prisoners?"

He frowned. "With Julian?"

"Affirmative."

"Do you have a way around killing someone this time?"

"No", I admitted with a shake of my head. "I'm still trying to figure that out."

The ex-soldier hummed. "You're trying to get into a familiar scenario because you think you can do better with a second go around."

"Yeah."

"We could try something else", he said.

"It's possible but Castle will be vigilant for any more attempts to manipulate her."

Before either of us could continue the conversation, the door slammed open once again.

And Castle strode through with an even larger guard contingent. Her nonchalance and fake smile were back in place, eyes locked on me as soon as she was in the cafeteria.

How had I not heard them? Had I been that distracted?

While that may have been a concern, the larger one was the number of Raiders she'd brought with her. Castle wasn't here to talk.

The Raider marched straight up to the bars of our cell.

"Sorry to keep you waiting", she said with all the mock sincerity she could. "I wanted to make sure we did this right."

So much for being able to plan…

"I assume you aren't going to elaborate", I muttered just loud enough for her to hear.

Castle's smile turned sharp. "See? We are starting to understand each other." She motioned to one of the guards behind her. It was the same one who had been in our escort through the motor pool. He was large, taller than Nate by at least a few centimeters. The man stepped forward and unlocked the cell door.

"You and Nate", Castle said. "Time for me to see the two of you fight together. Sort of."

It had barely been three hours since the obstacle course. Not that I was tired but… if things move quickly, the infiltration team won't have had time to set their explosives.

This may not be the end.

While I could say that, I didn't believe it. This was the first time she'd singled me and Nate out. Coming after the outburst she had earlier, this felt like things were coming to a head.

I met the ex-soldier's eyes for a heartbeat before walking through the open door. He followed directly behind.

That possibility was something I needed to keep in mind, but it wasn't my priority. Right now, I need to focus on what's in front of me.

If I only considered whatever she had in mind, it was both a good and bad sign she'd chosen him for this. Good because he was a skilled fighter. And it meant no one else would be at risk. Bad because Castle knew that, which meant she would have planned for it.

Whatever she has set up, I'll need to be on alert for anything. She still wants both of our cooperation but I'm not dumb enough to think that means she won't try to kill one of both of us.

We were led out of the building and into the evening air.

As usual, dozens of Raiders, both walking past us to wherever they were going, and one was standing around the path of our travel, stared daggers at me. These weren't the same brand as normal. Word had gotten all the way around the base by now. They got a reminder about what I am, that my being here doesn't change that.

They looked pissed.

"Hey, Nate!" Castle said over her shoulder, not bothering to look back.

He didn't answer.

"Remember how, after your first fight, you said you would have won a fair one?" she continued without missing a beat. "Well, it's time for round two. Hope you don't disappoint."

The ex-soldier grunted but didn't offer any other response.

What did that mean?

"Care to explain?" I asked.

"They put me up against a drugged-out brawler our first day here. I had him beat twice- if the crowd hadn't been part of the fight."

Through everything that's happened since I met the ex-soldier, I've heard a lot of different tones from him. Anger, sadness, desperation, irritation, frustration… not this, though. This was some odd combination of indignant and gloating.

"Like I said then", Castle replied, "only losers whine about fair fights."

"And I still want that one on one."

The Raider barked a laugh. "You don't have the stamina."

"Only one way to find out", Nate said.

After another few paces, Castle finally graced us with a glance back. "You get through this without Damon's help, I'll consider it."

Get through what?

Unease twinged at my gut. That means, whatever's about to happen, I wasn't the focus. I didn't like that.

"My help?" I demanded.

Castle shook her head. "Ah ah ah, no spoiling the surprise."

We were walking north toward the parade ground. We'd been collecting a crowd the entire way. Now, on top of Castle and the dozen guards escorting us, there were at least triple that number in other Raiders. Which drew on my already tight nerves even more.

Sure enough, a few minutes later, we arrived at the parade ground, the obstacle course off to the east, and the large ring where I'd fought the Buck, Wendy, and the other prisoners.

A dozen people were standing inside the ring. Prisoners. Buck was there. None of them were armed this time.

My eyes narrowed. What was happening? Unarmed combat? Was Castle going to have Nate fight them on his own? That didn't make sense, might as well just beat the hell out of him back in the cell.

"Well, Nate, here's your chance at a fair fight", Castle said, turning to face us. Her smile was usually empty but this… was worse, somehow. Her deadened eyes had a spark, but I couldn't tell what it was.

I didn't like it.

"Sort of", the Raider finished.

A/N: One million. This story is now over one million words posted. That's crazy to me. I was around FFN for a long time, going back to my junior high days. I saw and read a ton of 100k-plus word stories. I never really thought I'd write one, let alone a story an order of magnitude longer. What's crazier is this story is still nowhere near finished. There's still so much more to write, so much more to explore, and so much more story to be had. All I'm saying is this is an incredibly milestone and I hope you all have enjoyed it at much as I have. Oh, and I almost forgot, we have new cover art! It's a really cool piece done by an artist named devangga over on ffiver. Give his work a look! Until next time!

Next Chapter: 4/26, Enough