Chapter 93: Hate
To Blade's benefit, it seemed the other pokémon had gotten tired of watching the training matches, and a few had dispersed to spar or mind their own business. Blade in particular had chosen to leave during the last match, Goodra vs Axew. Seeing the small dragon again, even at a distance made him sick, and he needed to distance himself, after all he had assured Cameron and Lucario he would behave better.
Axew's presence made that much harder for him. He still remembered it as if it were yesterday, dropping a dedenne out of a tree and forcing it to attack Axew for how he had treated Ashachu. And how the little dragon lied to his trainer's face.
Luckily food was being served from a food trolley by the boy Jimmy, Blade didn't know him well, but he seemed more level headed than his own trainer, and a much more understanding person than he'd seen Ash to be.
Blade wasted no time in collecting one of the bowls from the boy and giving a silent nod of thanks before walking off to eat alone. To his dissatisfaction he had done it quick enough to see Axew was victorious in the sparring match. Though that only proved to make his blood boil and seethe. He was clearly experienced, clearly not a fool in battle, and yet he couldn't tell he was hit in the back.
Blade quickly found a secluded spot to sit, and he munched away at the pokémon food in the bowl. It certainly wasn't the best thing he'd tasted, but it wasn't horrible. And he was rather hungry, so he scarfed it down gladly. He sat back looking at the empty bowl, he was still hungry. He glanced at the other pokémon and noticed some of them had gone for seconds, and it made him less hesitant. So he grabbed the bowl and returned to the trolley, getting a rather quick refill.
Blade came away again, but stopped on his way to where he'd eaten before, and he looked around, maybe Ashachu wouldn't mind his company. Maybe they could eat together, and finally talk about where they stand.
Suddenly, however, something struck Blade in the side causing him to drop his food across the grass and fall. "Ouch." Blade was not happy to have such a mess to clean up. But as he stood up and turned to address whoever had bumped into him. "Why can't you watch where you're…You!" Axew was getting back to his feet.
"I-I-I'm really sorry," Axew said apologetically as he got back to his feet. "I'll try to be more careful next…"
Blade had closed the distance between them quickly, standing threateningly before Axew, his chest puffed out and his claws extended. The look on Blade's face was one, not of simple annoyance, but pure unbridled hatred.
It was just them, the others were around, but none of them were close enough to stop him, his claws were ready, he could kill this little bastard here and now. It was taking every ounce of self control to keep himself from lashing out then and there. Self control was not Blade's strong suit. Using the less sharp but still hard back of his claws, he slapped Axew across the face.
*With Shadow*
The darkrai had returned to where he'd left the main body of his target, it was no longer all there, as if something already started eating it. And there was a faint scent in the air, masked but undoubtedly that of the inteleon and sobble duo Tel and Sobby. But something else, more familiar, like a combination of Ashachu and Charizard. Perhaps that charmander he'd seen. This proved a problem, the last thing he needed was to cause any other problems for Blade. But he still had a job to do.
He lifted into the air again and began scanning the area, they could've been anywhere in this forest. As he flew above the trees, he felt a familiar sensation, an instinct to protect Blade. It was as if he could feel the sneasels heart beating in his own chest, racing with fear and anger. But mostly hate.
He postponed his hunt to fly overhead and see what was wrong.
*With Blade*
The sneasel stumbled a bit but stayed upright. Zoroark had acted quickly, that backhand had be met with a swift night slash. The other pokémon began surrounding them watching excitedly as both pokémon snarled, brandishing their claws. Axew had taken cover behind Zoroark.
The other pokémon were chanting. "Fight, fight, fight."
"Apologize to Axew you little creep," Zoroark snarled.
"Blade attacked Axew then Zoroark hit Blade," Geyser said, Blade had heard him, but was too focused on Zoroark to see who he was talking to. What Blade did notice, was among the chorus of chanting voices, Geyser's was absent.
Ash. Unlike many of the other Pokémon he wasn't chanting fight, and seemed to be watching on in worry, wondering whether to intervene.
"Oh seriously," he heard Ash say.
"Blade, can't you get along with anyone," Cameron sounded exhausted by his own words.
Lucario growled softly. "I thought I warned you about playing nice Blade."
For the first time Blade broke his focus turning his head to meet Cameron and Lucario's gaze. When he finally spoke, the rage on his face was equally evident in his voice. "You want me to play nice, I'll play nice, with everyone but him. I'll do my best to be as civil as possible." His voice went up in pitch, as did the evident hatred in his voice and he threw up his claws. His fangs bared and he pointed at Axew. "But if you ask me to go anywhere near that tusk faced chode guzzler and be nice to him, that I can't promise. Punish me if you have to, but a volcano will erupt water before I treat that cunt with anything but hate."
"What did you call my mate," barked Zoroark, taking a threatening step towards Blade. "You keep talking like that about my mate and I'll kill you where you stand. No psychotic Darkrai to protect you this time, remember. Nobody to play this Zoroark's face like a puppet."
Blade's eyes widened and the hate on his face vanished. The memories flowed, first the cruel way Shadow had done that, then Shadow's warm embrace and relief that Blade was okay. Then he saw it again, the memory clearer each time, Shadow, cleaved in two, falling from the sky. He looked as if he'd been stabbed by Zoroarks claws. But that only lasted a moment, rage consumed him again. "You know something. As bad as he was, Shadow was a better person than that sack of rancid milk." Again he gestured at Axew. And Blade was starting to break, the memory of seeing Shadow die, was still playing on a loop in his mind. His voice stayed high pitched, but in an almost happy, playful way, almost maniacal. "He knew what he was, he didn't deny it, didn't hide it. And he certainly didn't delude himself into thinking he was a good person." He took a menacing step forward as Zoroark had, his focus clearly still on Axew, and all fear for his own well being gone. Zoroark stood steadfast in defense of Axew. If Blade were more calm he'd likely have respected that. "And he'd never betray his friends."
They stared each other down for a moment. And Blade felt a strange tugging at the back of his mind, a familiar one, the same feeling of when Shadow invaded his mind. But he's felt that so many times since Shadow died, it was just further proof of how broken he was inside. That feeling made him snap. And in a flash the two dark types were upon each other. Zoroark, was faster and stronger though, and struck Blade with night slash, cutting the sneasel's face and knocking him onto the grass. The illusion Pokémon put his claws together to prepare a dark pulse attack.
"You're going to fucking regret doing that," the illusion Pokémon growled as a ball of dark purple energy formed between his claws. "I'm done with bullies. I'm not going to let a creep like you hurt someone I love and get away with him."
"Sylveon," shouted Ash. "Do your thing."
The revelation came from the surrounding group and stretched out her feelers to the two pokémon singing gently. "Slyvee Sylveon." A wave of pink aura spread from her feelers, covering the battlefield.
Both pokémon relaxed instantly and their faces calmed. Zoroark's claws dropped and the energy he built up dissipated. Blade sat up, and with all the rage forced out of him only the sadness and pain remained. He began crying uncontrollably, large tears cascading down his cheeks and onto the grass beside him.
Zoroark turned away from Blade and knelt down beside Axew. "Are you alright my love."
"I'm. I'm fine," the little dragon whispered back. "You didn't need to do that."
Zoroark rubbed the top of Axew's head with his claws and licked his cheek.
Cameron and Lucario turned their focus on Blade.
"Alright Blade," Lucario growled. "What the hell was that about."
"Axew's such a sweet Pokémon. What could he possibly have done to deserve to be attacked like that," added Cameron.
'Such a sweet pokémon?' The words nearly caused Blade to snap again overpowering the gentle pink aura.
"Axew knocked him over," explained Geyser from nearby. "That's what started this."
Cameron looked extremely exasperated, and Lucario angry.
"Seriously!"
"Is that really what started this?"
The surrounding pokémon let out "oohing" sounds, but Cameron ignored it, and Lucario held up a paw to silence everyone.
Blade wiped his eyes and hopped to his feet. When he looked back, that maniacal expression on his face showed just how close he was to breaking. Suddenly he yelled out. "You know. You're not as bad as Cleave, but you're a shit dad." His sharp claws extended out pointing not toward his own trainer, but to Ash, surprising everyone. He knew what he was saying would sound like nonsense, these idiots seemed to forget anything if it hurt Ashachu, but not Blade. He'd never forget what hurt the people he loves. "Never even considered Ashachu was telling the truth, even after he ran away. Ya know, guilty people normally just run away, it's the innocent who do something stupid when they're upset, like joining your worst enemy to avoid your own father shipping you off all alone. You make me sick."
"What me?" Ash gestured to himself, not quite sure what Blade was saying.
Lucario grunted and rolled his eyes. "What are you on about now?"
Blade was right, they'd already completely forgotten how Ashachu had been mistreated. How they'd all pushed him away. As far as Blade saw it, planning to send Ashachu away was barely different from the times Cleave tried to abandon him or kill him.
Cameron had heard enough now and pjlled out Blade's pokeball."Blade return." The Sneasel was sucked back inside in a beam of red light. "I think you need to take some time to calm down." He sighed and turned to Ash and Lucario. "I just can't work out what's wrong with him. Am I that bad a trainer."
'What's wrong with me? What about the rest of you?' Blade thought, hearing them outside his ball.
"Nah you're a great trainer," Ash tried to reassure him.
"Pika Pika-pikachu," cooed Pikachu.
"I just think Blade might have some…issues." Ash said. "Pokémon can be funny like that sometimes. It's the same as people, they all have different feelings." Frowning at the Pokéball in Cameron's had, he added "remember what Doctor Jamba told us. Blade formed an attachment to a Pokémon who used to rip out tongues for fun. Can't imagine that was good for his psyche."
"Plus, he came from a Sneasel pack with an abusive alpha father," added Lucario. "He probably has unresolved trauma."
Cameron looked sadly at the ball for a moment before restoring it to his belt. "Next Pokémon center we come to; I'll ask to see if we can get Blade some proper help."
"Don't try to fix me…I'm…I'm not broken…" Blade silently sobbed. He had tried, he really had, but he just couldn't control his instincts or impulses. They hated him, he knew they did, it wouldn't have mattered if he was innocent or not. They would always side with Axew, just like they did back then.
He began to wonder why they even bothered, why Cameron considered getting him help. He wasn't worth the effort, he wasn't worth anything. He was just a stupid sneasel that got the people he loved killed. He was nothing worth saving, at least, that's how they made him feel.
*With Shadow*
He had seen the entire exchange. Seeing that zoroark so calluses attack him, it made him angry. Hearing him insult Blade made him more so. Part of him wanted to crush the illusion Pokémon then and there, to show him the fear he so voiced, to play his face like a puppet. But he pushed the thought from his head. He had looked into Blade's mind, he had started the fight, it was a good way to learn his lesson.
At least that's what he told himself. He felt more guilt than ever before. Seeing those memories looping in Blade's mind, watching him die over and over again. Shadow could banish that pain in an instant if he just showed himself, but thus was Blade's best chance at a normal life, a better life, without Shadow in it.
He turned away, he hated himself for it, Blade needed him, and he wasn't doing anything about it. It was to make him happy, to keep him safe, to give him a better life. That's what Shadow thought to himself again and again, trying to convince himself. Even as a tear slowly trailed from his eye. "I am, so sorry, Blade…"
But in that moment Shadow saw something in the distance, a tree suddenly collapsing and a burst of fire leaving it. He shook his head, glancing one final time to Blade before flying off toward the flames.