Chapter 95: Heart Eclipsed

Shadow was overwhelmed, something that didn't happen often. It was as if that image was burned in his mind. That kiss. That loving kiss.

The darkrai reached out grasping a tree to reign in his emotions. He'd never felt this way. Sex was never a problem, that was just for pleasure, he didn't care who Blade mated with. But that love filled kiss, it filled him with a pain he couldn't describe.

Even though he'd been cut in half and put back together, not long ago, that pain felt much lighter than this. The weight of it was crushing him. His grip snapped the tree branch in his clawed grasp. It was his own fault, just like that branch, he hurt Blade more than he ever meant to. There were few greater motivating forces than love. But love was also one of the most cruel things to feel.

It's absence, a deafening cacophony. Shadow knew that what he was feeling was wrong, that it was unfair to Blade. 'I should be the only one he loves. He is the only one I love. Why am I not enough?' He lashed out swiping his claw at a tree, rending it's bark and making it topple over. He knew that wasn't the case. He knew Blade was content with his love, he knew this was all his fault. Perhaps if he had just come back, but he wanted Blade to have a chance at a better life.

The darkrai raised himself above the trees, following his heart and finding himself hanging over where the sneasel was, sleeping in his pokeball, a where he'd been confined after fighting one of the other pokemon.

He felt the moonlight on him as he took a deep breath, and began to sing. "Shadows in the moonlight cast below. My whispers haunt where rivers flow. Your eyes tremble as your pain will grow. Through silence my love will always glow."

The darkrai thought of all the pain he'd felt from Blade, all the tears he knew the sneasel had shed. All the tears he'd shed for the pain he caused Blade. "Moments where our tears stained the night. Light fading out of sight. In your dreams I will hold you tight. Love remains our guiding light."

He shut his eyes, listening for the sneasel, hearing him toss and turn, whining, having a nightmare. Shadow reached out into Blade's nightmare and hugged him tight, shielding him from his fears. "I hurt you, and I know I cannot undo. But my heart will always stay true. In shadows we will see it through. Blade, my love, I need you."

He felt the sneasel settle, his dream becoming sweeter by the second. "I have regrets, like shadows staining my soul. Yet in your eyes I find control. Hiding wounds that go untold. Whispering my love retold."

The darkrai remained there, holding the sneasel tight singing to the sleeping sneasel, if only in his dreams. "Every scar, a symbol of your fight. And a darkrai's shadow is never light. But with every heartbeat, we take flight. I hope my love will turn my wrongs right."

"I hurt you, and I know I cannot undo. But my heart will always stay true. In shadows we will see it through. Blade, my love, I need you." Shadow kissed Blade's forehead. "I hurt you, and I know I cannot undo. But my heart will always stay true. In shadows we will see it through. Blade, my love, I need you."

Shadow stayed still a moment, simply enjoying the feel of the sneasel's fur against him, even as that feeling faded away, and he opened his eyes. Sorrow and joy filled his heart. Even now, Shadow could still protect Blade, even if it was just from his nightmares. The sad truth, that Shadow could no longer deny, was that their dynamic was never as it seemed.

Both Shadow and Blade, believed the sneasel was hurt and needed the darkrai to take care of him, that he wouldn't have survived on his own. But now, Shadow knew better. Blade never needed him. He needed Blade.

The darkrai may have protected, fed, and cared for Blade without hesitation, but Shadow had no love in his life, no joy, until he met Blade. Though it did little to curb his brutality, it gave him something else. Something to live for. The darkrai sighed. "I have always needed you. I felt your pain, I saw what you considered." Shadow thought of the memories he'd seen of Blade. Claws poised to slice his own wrists, or preparing to leap from a tall rooftop. "And the truth is, if I had lost you, I would not have had the strength to stop myself." The darkrai let out a chuckle. "You never needed me."