No. 12 Grimmauld Place creaked in the wind. Harry lay awake, staring at the ceiling. He was trying not to dwell on tomorrow, which (of course) meant that it was all he could think about.
Ron snored softly in the conjured second bed next to him, a sound Harry hadn't heard in a while but found he had missed.
It was strange to think about all that had happened in the past few months. Everything seemed surreal, especially going back to Hogwarts the following day after months of wondering if he ever would. He hoped that it wouldn't be too hard to fit in after his time away, but had a twisting feeling in his gut that said otherwise.
Harry turned over, tucking his arm under his chin and glancing at Ron. His friends, at least, would stand by him. He knew that.
So why was he so afraid of things going back to the way they were?
With a huff, he turned over on his other side and shut his eyes with determination. In, 2, 3, 4… out, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. In, out. Breathe. Focus on the breaths. Focus on the calm…
As he drifted from meditation into sleep, the ghost of a hand from a memory rested on his shoulder. That was it; despite regaining Hogwarts and his old life, he had more to lose now than ever before.
The next morning, he could barely remember his restless night. He jumped out of bed, reaching for his bagpipes and warming up behind thorough silencing charms. He was halfway through his morning practice when Ron stirred and looked over.
"What are you doing, mate?" he asked, voice thick with sleep.
Harry shrugged at him, face red from lack of oxygen. Ron, unable to hear the music, sat up and stared at him in confusion.
When the song was over, he set the bagpipes aside and lifted the charm. "Morning."
Ron blinked, then decided it was too early to ask and merely mumbled "Mornin'," back. Harry grinned and jumped up.
"C'mon! Bet your mum's got breakfast ready."
Ron stuffed his head under a pillow. Harry grabbed his ankle and pulled him out of bed. He gave a startled squawk and hurled the pillow at Harry, who caught it with a laugh.
"Dunno what you're so excited for," Ron yawned, rubbing his hand over his face.
"Trying not to be terrified, Ron. Keep up!"
"Oh, yeah. Hogwarts today."
"Hogwarts today, Hogwarts tomorrow, Hogwarts the next."
"Dunno what you're so excited for," Ron repeated. "Professors have been brutal this year about OWLs. You're better off living in a treehouse or wherever you were."
"Nah, Snape's afraid of heights."
"Is he really?" Ron asked with sudden interest.
"Don't tell him I said," Harry grinned.
They met the twins at the bottom of the stairs.
"Hullo, Harry," Fred said.
"Hope you're ready for school," George trilled.
"Boys! In here!" Mrs. Weasley called from the kitchen.
The four of them trouped inside and sat down. Hermione was already there, but Ginny hadn't come down yet. Hermione turned to Harry with her chin tucked in and brows lowered, a sure sign that she was determined to do something in spite of whatever they might say.
"What is it?" Ron asked warily.
"Here," she said, sliding a thick scroll of parchment across the table towards Harry. He picked it up, but didn't unroll it.
"Do I want to know?" Harry turned the scroll over.
"Yes," Hermione said, at the same time as Ron half-shouted, "No!" Mrs. Weasley gave them a dirty look, and he ducked his head in embarrassment.
Harry slowly unrolled the scroll, groaning as soon as he saw what was written on it.
"You'll need it," she warned.
"What is it?" George asked.
"It's a study schedule," Harry finally finished unrolling it, staring down at the long parchment in horror.
Ron leaned over and gaped. "Hermione!"
"He needs to catch up on his missed work," she said relentlessly.
"When am I supposed to sleep?" asked Harry slowly.
"Sleep?" she questioned, sounding genuinely puzzled.
At that moment, Mrs. Weasley placed breakfast on the table. "Ginny!" she called. Half a minute later, pounding footsteps down the stairs preceded the younger girl's entrance into the room.
The food was as amazing as always. Harry felt horrible about not being able to eat much of it. Nerves twisted in his stomach, and as blasphemous as he felt about it, he couldn't help himself from pushing the french toast on his plate around with his fork.
The steady background thrum of noise in the room abruptly halted, but it took Harry a moment to look up for the cause. When he did, his green eyes met the black ones of Severus Snape.
Snape didn't say anything, nor did he bother to acknowledge anyone else in the room. He merely jerked his chin to the hallway behind him. Harry stood and followed him out of the room.
The two of them walked into the old, disused parlour. Harry, wondering what this was about, waited patiently as Snape seemed to gather his thoughts.
"As I am sure you are aware," Snape began slowly, "things will be different at Hogwarts."
"Will be?"
"Must be."
Harry looked out the window, searching for words. "You're talking about… how we act together, aren't you?"
"It is in our best interests that no one becomes aware of the improvement in our relationship."
An unexpected frisson of fear ran down Harry's spine. "I thought you were done spying?"
"I am," Snape said slowly, "but we would rather our enemies had no idea of your connection to myself."
"Secret weapon, huh?" Harry huffed, but Snape didn't smile back. He slumped into a nearby armchair with a sigh. "Won't someone figure, 'huh, they both disappeared for months at the exact same time!' and make this pointless anyways?"
"For a week after your disappearance, Kingsley Shaklebolt used polyjuice potion to masquerade as me in public. When we returned, I went back to teaching while you stayed here. Also, to the public, you were known to be on the run, while Dumbledore told the school that I was away on a research project."
"Research, huh? D'jou learn anything?"
"I learned that yes, you really are just annoying like that."
Harry stuck out his tongue gracelessly. "Ha, ha." He grew serious again. "So we have to act like we hate each other again?"
A muscle twitched in Snape's jaw. "In public, it must appear that nothing has changed."
"Yeah, okay." He could tell that Snape didn't like his attitude, but was too upset to care.
The thing was, he really didn't want things to go back to the way they were. The last few months were important to him. Godric help him, but Snape was important to him. Having an adult to go to when things went wrong, or when he was wrong, without fear of being vulnerable… it felt like safety.
Harry didn't want to lose safety after going without it for so long.
"In private, however," Snape continued, and a surge of hope went through Harry, "we will continue your Occlumency lessons."
"Good," he breathed out, relieved.
"Yes, well," Snape cleared his throat awkwardly and patted Harry's shoulder, as if he wasn't quite sure how to react in the face of Harry's obvious happiness, "this evening, after the feast, we will convene in the Headmaster's office."
Harry gave a sloppy salute and bounced off the armchair. "Yessir!"
Snape rolled his eyes. He tugged on Harry's shoulder and the two of them exited the parlour. In the hallway, before Snape walked out the front door, he turned to Harry seriously.
"Be careful at school. Everyone will be watching you."
Waiting for Harry to slip up, he meant. He nodded dutifully. "I will."
Snape turned to go, hand on the doorknob.
"Professor?" Harry said hesitantly. Snape turned expectantly. "You too."
Snape studied his face for a moment, then nodded once. Next thing Harry knew, he was gone, and Harry was left staring down the empty hallway.
The locking charm that Hermione used on the cabin door was an impressive one. It was just her, Harry, Ron, and Ginny inside, but they had decided that the risk of encountering someone they didn't like outweighed the happiness they'd get from finding their other friends. The twins had disappeared somewhere shortly after emerging onto the platform.
Hermione was scribbling furiously in a notebook, but wouldn't let anyone look at it. Even when Ron tried to pin her down, she shot a mild stinging hex at him and he jumped back with a yelp. Harry smiled tightly and looked out the window, watching the city surroundings fade into countryside.
Perhaps trying to distract Harry from his thoughts, or maybe just curious, Hermione asked, "You said, before, that you came back because you couldn't hide forever. Was that really all?"
Harry was silent for another few moments, then dragged his gaze away from the trees outside to look at her. "Do you guys know anything about Remus' mission?" They shook their heads. "Well, while we were in hiding, a pack of werewolves attacked us."
Everyone gasped and started asking questions. He talked over the noise. "They didn't know we were there, or plan it, or anything. They had thought the area was deserted, and went there so they wouldn't hurt anyone. Anyways, we fought them off."
"Did you get bit?" Ron asked in horror.
"The full moon was two days ago, and he didn't turn," Hermione scoffed, although she looked worried.
"No, but I got scratched. Hey, wanna see?"
"Ooh, yeah!" Ginny said.
Hermione rolled her eyes and scoffed in exasperation, but leaned forward all the same with Ron and Ginny when he pulled the collar of his robes aside to reveal the scars on his shoulder.
"Nice," Ron said appreciatively.
"We captured one, and the rest ran off. After dawn came, Snape talked to him and said the area was wizard protected. I'm not too sure about how, but word got around in the werewolf community about it, and Remus found out. He talked with the Order and came to find us, trying to recruit Snape for the Order."
"Bet he got a shock, when he saw who it was," Ginny snorted.
"He did," Harry laughed. "Remus told the Order that it was just some random guy, not us, but it was still too late. Our location had been exposed, and even if they didn't know we were there, the absolute secrecy we'd been relying on for protection was nullified."
"Nullified? Mate, you've been spending too much time with Snape," Ron said.
"So you still can't tell us where you were?" Hermione sighed.
"Sorry."
She nodded and went back to her notebook when Harry asked about the Gryffindor quidditch team.
"Ginny's been playing Seeker," Ron said.
"Oh," Harry said, trying to sound happy for her but not sure he managed it.
"Don't worry," she nudged his foot with hers, "I'll let you have it back. I like Chaser better, anyways. The reserve they've got playing for it right now can't tell which end of a broom goes in front."
"We barely won the game against Hufflepuff," Ron's hand emerged from his pocket with several sweets in hand, and he popped one in his mouth. "Now that you're-"
"Oh, Ron!" Hermione exclaimed. "We're supposed to be patrolling!"
Ron cursed and dropped the sweets, wiping chocolate off his mouth. She herded him out of the cabin, calling, "Lock the door when we're gone!" over her shoulder.
The room felt especially quiet after they'd left.
"What was that?" Harry asked, perplexed.
"Oh, I didn't realise you wouldn't know. Sorry, Harry. Ron and Hermione are the Gryffindor prefects."
Harry wasn't quite sure what to say, so he nodded and scooped up the sweets that Ron dropped.
"Acid pop?"
Ron and Hermione came back shortly before the train pulled into Hogsmeade station. Waiting until the very last minute to leave their cabin, the four of them were the last ones to step off the train and onto the platform. At first, no one noticed them. However, it didn't take long for someone to look back, nudge their friend, and start whispering. Moments later, every last eye in the crowd turned to stare at Harry.
Surrounded by his friends, and not really surprised at the attention, Harry stood a little taller.
They were just returning to school for the term, but to Harry, it felt like going to war.