Very busy in real life, but I have not forgotten! I'm two chapters ahead, so still writing when I can! :D Loving the reviews! Keep the cookies coming! :D

Chapter 18

Carson thought this day could only get worse. He reluctantly made his way towards Rella, his heart pounding and hands sweating. She eyed him coolly for a second then returned her attention to the stasis pod.

"Can we talk?" he asked, coming to a stop beside her.

The slim brunette shrugged as she dropped cabling into the pod then stood. She slipped past him with barely an acknowledgment and walked outside. Carson followed, feeling increasingly uncomfortable while thinking it was no less than he deserved. Once outside, he sighed dramatically when he saw Rella had moved quite a distance away and was still moving despite him calling her name. But, he followed as there were things he needed to say, things he'd put off for too long.

Carson had never been lucky in love, and his relationship with Rella paid testament to that. When the plague swept through her village and into Central City, Carson had worked closely with Rella to bring the infection under control. Many weeks working together turned into a closeness that neither could deny. They started seeing each other, got much closer than Carson ever had to being in love. He stayed long after the plague was treated and commuted to Caronaa on down days to be with her. Then, three months after they met, everything changed.

Carson sighed again, his shoulders dropping as he followed her along the path. He continued to call her name but Rella didn't stop, didn't respond in any way. Just kept on walking until she came to a small, white wall and leaned against it while refusing to look at him.

"Rella, we need to sort this out so we can get on with the task at hand and help Colonel Sheppard."

She didn't immediately respond, taking the time to fold her arms, raise an eyebrow and glared at him for a minute before she spoke. "Okay, so talk," she said gruffly.

Carson swallowed hard, unable to look her in the eye. He felt like a schoolboy trying to speak to his first crush, it was embarrassing. The longer it took to say the words, the more difficult it became to speak at all. Eventually, he cleared his throat and managed to look at her.

"I'm sorry."

Rella raised an eyebrow. "Sorry for what, Carson? The fact you left without even saying goodbye? For ripping out my heart as you stepped on that damned ship of yours? Or are you only sorry because you need my help now?"

"This isn't because of the current situation," he lowered his gaze and looked at his hands. "This is something I should have done months ago." He nervously played with his fingers in a show of unsureness as all feelings for this woman he'd tried to bury over the past year surfaced in one overwhelming tsunami of emotion.

Rella remained cold and bitter, completely uncaring of his discomfort. "Then why did you do it?"

Carson knew the only thing that he could do was tell the truth. Anything else and Rella would know immediately and just walk away, forever.

"I was scared, okay?"

She just stared at him. "Scared?"

"Aye. Too scared to commit."

"I don't understand."

"I've never been lucky in relationships. Usually, I'm the one left behind and hurt, so I've never been in a relationship where I've been happy for any length of time. With you it was different. I was so happy, almost too happy. I was scared I'd make a commitment only for it would all go to ruin as always. I didn't want to be the only one thinking we had something of worth. In the end, I did what I always do, sabotage the relationship so it couldn't be anything other than what I always expect, a failure."

Rella looked as if she was about to laugh and Carson just felt even worse.

"You ran away in case it was a failure so that it definitely would be a failure?"

Carson tried to smile but hearing her say it made him feel silly. "Aye, something like that."

"You know that's crazy, don't you?"

Carson nodded, feeling every inch an idiot. "I don't expect you to forgive me, heck, I hardly even expect for you to talk to me after this. But that's the truth."

Rella stared at him for a few moments. She never blinked, just stared, long and hard and Carson had to look away, feeling uncomfortable under her scrutiny. She went to say something, then hesitated, pushed off from the wall, and moved past him. Carson watched her leave, feeling like the failure he knew he would be, yet this was compounded by the knowledge that his stupidity would have a detrimental impact on Sheppard and the others.

Therefore, he was shocked when Rella stopped and turned to him and said, "Well?" Are we going to save your friend or not?"

Carson hurried after her, relieved and smiling brightly when he caught up to her. "We can try, at least. If there is anyone in the galaxy that I trust with their lives, it's you."

"Don't think this means anything," she said. "Let's fix your friend first, then maybe, and I stress maybe, we can talk about us."

His relief didn't last long. He and Rella stepped through the barn door and into the middle of a fight. Ronon and Rodney were in each other's faces, angry and shouting at each other while everyone else watched on in shock. Teyla was trying to get between them, ineffectual in her attempts to split the men apart and calm the situation down. Carson was shocked to find Major Lorne was leaning against the wall by the door watching the show with a smirk on his face, evidently finding the entire scene amusing. Carson shot him a glare and Lorne shrugged self-consciously.

"Aw come on, Doc! It's McKay, taking on Ronon! I can't wait to see how it ends!"

Carson glared at him and Lorne had the sense to look away, abashed.
"Aye, I'll tell you how it ends, right bloody now!" he said then strode to the fighting men. "What in blazes is going on here?!" he shouted. "What kind of way is this to act when Colonel Sheppard is dying right beside you?!"

The two men stopped shouting at each other long enough to allow Teyla to finally push them apart. "They are arguing about who gets to go with John to the Goh planet."

"Whit?!" Carson cried. "It doesn't matter who goes! All that matters is we get him there and he survives!"

"But I want to go with him," Rodney said. "I am the only one who can keep the interface working that allows communication with John and Primus."

"Yeah, and I'm the only one who can protect him if a Groten attacks," Ronon snarled.

"God almighty, are you listening to yourselves?! You're both acting like bloody children! Don't you think all of us want to go with Colonel Sheppard and ensure his safety? I know I want to, but some of us have to stay behind and ensure his final wish is carried out!"

That stopped both men in their tracks. They both finally looked to him, suddenly unsure of their conviction.

"I need to stay behind to make sure everyone carrying out said wish is cared for, and I'm happy with my part in this. I trust Rella to ensure Sheppard's safety because she is every bit as competent as I am to keep him alive. You two need to trust each other with the job at hand and stop acting like bloody kids!"

After a moment of uncomfortable silence, Rodney slowly raised his hand. "I guess I could show someone how to use the interface," he said haltingly then looked to Ronon. "I mean, it's not as if you could head into the battle with a broken arm."

Ronon huffed and looked down at his arm, strapped across his chest. "Yeah, not sure how I would fare against a Groten on any planet right now."

"But you'd do better than me," Rodney replied, suddenly more confident in his words. "I've seen you take on a wraith with one hand behind your back!"

"Yeah, and I guess I've seen your fighting skills get better over the years," Ronon replied grudgingly.

"So are we all okay?" Carson demanded.

Both men eyed each other warily, then nodded their agreement.

Carson shook his head. "Honestly, it's like being back at school with this team," he said then made his way to John's bedside to check on him.

As Rodney, Ronon, and Teyla were now holding a private discussion, Lorne decided to join Carson.

"Remind me not to get on your bad side, Doc," he smiled.

"And you're just as bad as them," Carson replied wearily.

"What? It was fun!"

"Aye, it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt!" Carson said, his eyes wandering to Rella.

She stared back at him, a slight smile to her lips. Then she nodded her head, and there seemed to be more to the gesture than just acknowledgment of his words. Carson smiled, wondering if perhaps this day might get better after all.

To be continued... feed the dragon... :D