Zack V: Depression
Zack had stayed with Sephiroth on the roof for a bit longer, but the whole time he had felt as if he was not supposed to be there. Although Sephiroth did not vocally complain about Zack being there, he was under the impression that Sephiroth had a reason to be on the roof. He and Angeal had been best friends for many years, and seeing him in his upset state on the roof of a tall building, made Zack worry that Sephiroth may seek a different form of relief. He could not have known that Sephiroth was secretly hoping that the news about Angeal being deceased were as fake as they had been the first time he was proclaimed dead, and that he would come flying through the night sky as he had so many times before. Although he knew very well that this could not possibly be true, having just heard the man who fulfilled Angeal's last wish saying it out aloud, and there was no ambiguity in Zack's words.
Zack hoped that their conversation and being reassured that he still had a friend had uplifted him at least a little. It was true that Zack considered him his friend, although they were not nearly as close as he had been with Angeal. He had idolized the hero Sephiroth in his early teenage years, and the stories about the famous Silver SOLDIER's deeds had made him want to join Shinra's SOLDIER squad in the first place. Their first in-person meeting had been under an unlucky star, just after Genesis' desertion and Angeal's disappearance in Wutai, and they had all but gotten into a verbal altercation about whether Angeal had betrayed Shinra or not. Sephiroth had expressed his suspicion that Angeal joined Genesis, and Zack had ended up clapping back at Sephiroth because he could not believe that Angeal would ever do something a dishonorable as treason. This had only earned him an extremely disapproving look, which Zack at the time hat attributed solely to his own insolence in objecting Sephiroth, who was well-known for his arrogance and lack of patience.
He only understood later that Sephiroth what Sephiroth said in public not necessarily had anything to do with what he was actually thinking, and that, in fact, he found an unexpected ally in Zack on that day. The real Sephiroth had a hard time expressing his feeling and balancing his duties as a SOLDIER and his obligations to his friends. Although he and Sephiroth had found some common ground, Zack felt as if Sephiroth was still only telling him things when it was convenient for him to do so. But despite everything, Zack felt a genuine kindness in the older SOLDIER whenever he was willing or able to open up to him, which made Zack feel appreciated on a level far beyond superficialities. Even with Sephiroth so completely destroyed by Angeal's passing and unable to even help himself, he had still managed to comfort Zack when he needed it. He deserved a little bit of solace himself, but Zack had no idea how to give it to him, aside from offering him his hand in friendship. Sephiroth was just too difficult to figure out for him. He acted aloof and uncaring, even publicly suspecting Angeal of betrayal, and then so unexpectedly broke down at such a predictable turn of events. He did not understand Sephiroth at all.
Angeal was gone from their lives. Angeal, the person Zack had always turned to for advice. Angeal, who had also been Sephiroth's best friend, and who could have been the only one with any hope to bring Genesis back. Zack had been hit extremely hard by this loss, but he believed Sephiroth to be a more rational person than himself. Back in his room, Zack contemplated for a moment, then pulled out his phone and texted Tseng again. "What's the deal with Sephiroth?" He expected Tseng to get back to his immediately as he usually did, so he did not bother writing out his question in a more specific way. He figured that Tseng probably knew more about the situation, as he usually did. He did not have to rely on anyone's willingness to open up to him because he knew everything anyway, who knew how. Zack laid down on the bed again, folded his hands over his belly and waited. It was already late at night, but, having slept all afternoon, he was not tired. He pictured Angeal's back when they met for the very first time. It was only two years ago, but it seemed like a lifetime had passed since then. Angeal was several years ahead of Zack and most other SOLDIER candidates in terms of experience. He was one of the few candidates that were able to get into SOLDIER at the tender age of 15, and from what Zack knew, he joined SOLDIER to follow his childhood friend, Genesis. But Zack knew that despite Angeal's talent, his heart was not in it primarily for the fighting. He was there for the community and talked much about dreams and honor, although Zack never truly understood what Angeal's dreams had been, or what his idea of honor was. He just did not understand how making his friends kill him, or asking for it in the first place, was honorable.
Zack rolled on his side. What Sephiroth had told him was even more shocking. To think that Angeal had taken from Zack what he had previously failed to get from Sephiroth gave him shivers. Angeal had been perfectly rational in his actions and he had clearly planned everything. He had asked Sephiroth directly to kill him and when his old friend denied him, he came after Zack and pretended to try and attack him, in order for Zack to defeat him, finally resulting in his demise. Although he knew that Angeal was not to blame for what had happened with his body, Zack felt betrayed by the older SOLDIER's actions. He would never have wanted for Angeal to die, no matter what. And he wished his friend was here, so he could tell him to his face that he wanted him to live, no matter how many wings in whatever color he grew or however many monsters he would put his face on. But Angeal would never come back.