For the rest of the remaining week, I slept most for of it because of my medication and actually being to relax enough to sleep.
I have come to the conclusion that my dream about a caring Nana, and the boy being my rescue was just a dream. A fantasy. I've decided it was just a dream because… well, Nana hasn't called about lunch or Bella. So that was fake and definitely my own mind for unity. The boy in my dream definitely would be my knight in shining armor because I'm crazy, who dreams about violent kids and to have a boy who doesn't know you, worry about you. I was delusional, absolutely delusional.
As the new week restarted, I started to come downstairs to change up my routine and put a bit more structure into my days. It was raining as usual, and it was cold, so I wasn't going outside. I didn't feel like cleaning today at least. I ate a bowl of cereal and an apple before I visited my babysitter, the television. I curled up on the couch as I searched the tv guide for the show I was looking for, a channel that played reruns of classic tv shows older ones and newer ones. I smiled in soft triumph when I found it and it was playing the show I was looking for. I smiled wider when the speakers let the theme of the show begin to play.
"If you're out on the road, Feeling lonely and so cold, All you have to do is call my name," I sang along to the Gilmore girls' theme as it played. And I was immediately immersed in the show.
If I had to be honest, I don't like Dean, granted he was very patient and calm as his and Rory's relationship grew, but he was on my kill list since he broke up with Rory because she was scared to say 'I love you' back. But she didn't even fully know that herself until he left her life for a month or so. I personally think he's a jerk just because he broke up with her, but he was a boy, and boys were slow sometimes to the process of a girl's mind. But at the same time, a girl can be just as slow.
Honestly, if a boy ever told me he loved me, I would probably have the same shocked and dumbfounded reaction as Rory. It would be a realistic answer, especially not being able to understand what to feel or what to do in that situation, it's not that Rory didn't love him. She was just scared, and I don't think she really knew what she felt, fully, until he left her life for a bit; normally I would tell girls to leave those boys alone after they do something reckless because of feelings but if you really had to think about it. Everyone was slow in their own way with certain aspects of life.
This current season they were showing just started showing Jess' arrival and even though Jess was… a lot, I had great hope he would accomplish big things, if he wanted it himself. I swear, Lorelai and Luke should just get together already, this is torture, they obvious sexual tension and attraction and among other things. I don't know what happens after Jess' arrival, I haven't watched it since I seen the first episode he appeared in. I watched that episode and was halfway through another one before a knock signaled from the front door.
I opened the door to nobody there. I looked around in great confusion and wondered if I was actually going crazy until I catch a glimpse of clear plastic and something dark at my feet. I looked at the plastic bag wrapping a set of books, I bent down and picked it up, I examined the bag in my hands. There was a folded sheet of paper with my name written on it. Do I have a stalker bringing me books to swoon me? It's working so far; I just don't know about the stalker part. I scanned the front lawn and street again. Still, there was no one there.
I closed the front door and locked it before I checked the back door. Just in case I really did have a stalker. The back door is locked, that's good, I pushed the curtain back to look at the back yard through the glass of the door. There was a gigantic russet wolf in the tree line, I turned to go back to my package.
A wolf?! My mind chimed in disbelief and shock. I turned back to the door, and looked out again, it's gone.
Maybe I was going crazy, there was no wolf there. I brushed it off and went back to my package. I brought it out to the living room and sat down on the couch as I unzipped the top of the thick, clear plastic. It was a durable bag to hold the quad of hardcover books, two of them were paperbacks. They were worn, well, one was more worn than the other three, they were old books like Jane Austen and Shakespeare, I'd choose Jane Austen any day, but they weren't like those two selected authors. The style of writing and the grammar was just as ancient, and I love it.
The one with the most worn spine is Arabella by Georgette Heyer. The second book I pulled out randomly was The Mill on the Floss by George Eliot, the third book is Tales of Angria by Charlotte Bronte and then last but not least, Venetia by Georgette Heyer. I picked up the folded, torn piece of paper, I unfolded it and read the contents.
'These books are for you. You can keep them or leave them where you found them… If you like them, I'll bring more for you next time. When you're finished, put the bag on the back porch on the side of the old fridge.
I know this is… very sketchy but I promise to show myself to you, Vivianna.
In time.'
My stalker with books knows my name. They know Uncle Charlie's house. I checked the books for any hidden gadgets, I looked for a name in the books but there was nothing but the original texts. I sprinted upstairs and searched for any notebook paper and wrote my own note, I didn't know what to call this person, but I wrote stalker on the folded paper. I dropped the note in the bag, and I put the empty bag on the side of the old fridge, an old fridge from the seventies and it was tarnished. I pushed the bag back a bit just so Uncle Charlie wouldn't see it, I looked around at the tree line, the rain was coming down hard and sending a chilly breeze in my direction.
I went back inside the house; I turned off the tv and gathered the books into my arms and dashed up the stairs to my room. I turned on my radio and sat down on my bed with the books spread out. I looked up at the radio when the host announced the next song coming on, it was that song from in the facility, and I continued to stare. Was this a coincidence or was this song more popular than I thought it was? I got up and turned up the volume, I went back to the books and started skimming through the first couple of pages.
I stared at the titles of the books. Did I have a girl stalker or a classic male stalker? I think it's a girl, three of these books were romance books by the summaries in the pages. But I had a strong feeling that it was a boy.
Should I entertain this or call Uncle Charlie immediately? I checked the books over again, there was no residue on the books of skin contact drugs, there were no secret cameras or mics. How would you even bug a novel? Can you even bug a novel?
I might have to send a letter to the FBI or CIA for that answer, I think they'd know. I started reading the Mill of the Floss and was entranced with the nostalgia of the memories and dreams of the unknown narrator.
"Vivianna!" Uncle Charlie calls from downstairs with the echo of another male voice.
"Coming!" I called back, I closed my book, I turned my stereo off, kept the book in my hand as I left the room and descended the staircase.
I looked over at the man in the living room with beautiful long black hair and sitting in a wheelchair with a polite smile on his face. I smiled back and he smiled wider.
"Hello."
"Hi."
"Vivianna, this is partner in crime, Billy Black. Old man, this is my niece, Vivianna." Uncle Charlie says carrying a pizza box with paper plates on top and a liter of soda.
I turned back to Billy as I took the soda from Uncle Charlie, "Hi, Billy."
"Hello, Vivianna," Billy replies with the wide smile still on his face.
"What's this?" Uncle Charlie asks noting the book in my hand.
H e would freak out if I told him the truth, but he will also freak out if I lied and the truth came out. I still choose to lie about the book.
"Oh," I looked at it as I sat down on the couch. "I found it in Bella's room. Do you think she'd mind if I read it?"
Charlie looked unsure as he thought about it, he shook his head after a fleeting moment of silence and consideration, "No, I don't think she'd mind. Oh, I also got you a salad since you were talking about it the other day. It's in the kitchen; I forgot to grab it."
"Oh, it's okay, I'll get it. Thank you." I smiled softly, I put my book down near the arm of the couch and stood up.
"Mhm," Uncle Charlie replies with a gruff grunt, I think he's not used to anyone having manners or appreciation.
I walked to the kitchen and picked up the clear takeout box revealing an overstuffed salad inside with multiple greens like arugula, spinach, lettuce, and kale by the looks of it. And, you know the classic vegetables, onions, mushrooms, peppers, carrots, cucumbers, tomatoes. Boiled sliced eggs, croutons, it was a different style of Caesar salad with the shredded parmesan on top, and it looked delicious.
'Hey, Viv, can you grab some glasses?" Uncle Charlie calls from the living room as I was grabbing a fork from the silverware drawer.
"Yeah." I opened the cup cabinet and grabbed three glasses and walked back to the living room.
Billy and Uncle Charlie conversed about the sport game that was currently playing on the television as we all ate. I didn't finish all of salad and I didn't save room for a slice of pizza. I continued reading after dinner and stayed downstairs, I was so entranced it took Uncle Charlie four times of calling my name to get me to snap back to reality.
I looked up just as he tossed a crumbled clean paper towel that fell to the floor without even making it past his foot.
"Sorry," I apologized as Billy chuckled lowly and Uncle Charlie gave me a look that only made Billy chuckle harder.
"I'm taking Billy home; you want to come for the ride?" Uncle Charlie asks, scrutinizing my face.
"Sure." I replied, standing up from the couch.
I watched the world go by as the men talked about sports, Bella and Billy's son, Jacob. My heart skipped a beat when Billy mentioned his son, I started paying attention. I kept my eyes out the window so they wouldn't venture off into another conversation with me acknowledging what they were talking about.
"Jacob is… he's okay. You know how he is about Bella and Edward."
Billy didn't sound like he believed himself with his own response.
Uncle Charlie sighs, "I know. Is he eating, getting some sleep?"
"Barely. He's never home anymore."
"Where does he go?"
Billy shrugged in the passenger seat, his jacket rubbing against the interior of the seat, "Sam and Emilys, I believe. Have you heard from Bella?"
"Not too much, not since she moved out." Charlie sighs again.
Billy hums, a short moment passes before Billy speaks up again, "Are you going to the wedding?"
"Yeah," Charlie sighs.
"Was…" Billy trailed off.
The atmosphere in the car got a little awkward and I looked up at them as Uncle Charlie looks in the rearview mirror at me. Silence consumed the car awkwardly until Uncle Charlie turned on the radio. I felt like Billy was mentioning me. I felt like I hadn't been invited to the wedding. My heart clenched in my chest.
Have I created more drama here than I realized? Have I created such a divide in their relationships to have Charlie lose contact with his daughter? What have I done? What could I do about this? Did I truly deserve to be here? Did people know me as that girl that tried to kill herself and now everyone was deciding to avoid me because of it?
What could I do to help mend these relationship? What could I do to get Bella back into Charlie's life?
"Uncle Charlie?" I called quietly from my position in the backseat, he was pulling out the dirt driveway of Billy's one floor little red house in La Push. I looked around the area, there's a large shed in the backyard with the light on, the warm glow was streaking across the grass.
He hums from the driver's seat.
"How much trouble have I caused?"
"Vivianna… don't worry. Everything will work itself out."
"I'm sorry for causing a rift in your relationship with Bella."
"It's not your fault… Bella… Bella moved out from Edward's influence. She hasn't been the same since he started dating Edward. You had nothing to do with her decision to move out Vivianna."
"Is… Is Jacob like Bella's best friend or something?"
Charlie shrugs, "At a time they were. Jacob and Bella have been rocky since Edward came back into her life in March. You met Jacob, he was at the graduation party, the really tall boy?"
That's his name, Jacob, that's the boy who keeps invading my dreams.
"Oh." I didn't ask anything else, I didn't know what to ask.
Halfway back to the house, Uncle Charlie turned down the radio, "So… Bella's wedding is in two weeks. Do you want to go?"
"Yeah." I replied, quietly, blinking out of my zone out.
"Okay… I am bringing a date."
I looked over at me, "A date?"
"Yeah. Sue Clearwater, she has a daughter that's a year older than Bella and a son that is a year younger than you."
"Hm. Are you two serious?" I asked with a smirk.
Charlie choked in surprise glancing at me in the rearview mirror with slight mortification, "N-No, n-not that I know of. I-I think so."
"Did you go on previous dates?"
"No. This will be our first one."
"Oh… I promise to be on my best behavior," I said smiling out the window.
"What is that smile?" Charlie narrowed his eyes at me in the rearview mirror.
"Nothing," I replied, shaking my head and my smile widened.
His reaction to my question proved his feeling for the mother, he was nervous, that's a good sign. He has pure intentions. Uncle Charlie dropped me off at the house after answering his cell phone, and he was leaving to go back into work.
"You just got off like three hours ago." I protested, calmly, pouting and crossing my arms.
Uncle Charlie sighed, "I know, one of new cadets quit earlier today. There's nobody to work the nightshift. This should be the only shift I have to take."
"Are you going to be working in the morning?" I asked, concerned that he was to overwork himself, or refuse to sleep because of his original day shift.
He shakes his head twice, "No, I'll be home catching up on sleep."
"Do you want some coffee?" I asked letting my arms fall back to my sides.
"Yeah. I'll come back for it, in like… a half hour." He says while checking his phone.
"Okay." I nodded once and dashed to the front door as he drove away.
I made a pot of extra strong coffee and poured most of it into a thermos with some sugar and milk. I filled another thermos with soda, he was going to need all the sugar he could get to stay awake for his shift. I also packed sandwiches to keep his energy up, I also stuck an apple in the lunch box—I found and washed it quickly—with the sandwiches wrapped with napkins and little condiment packets if I hadn't put enough on for his sandwiches. I knew I was going overboard with two water bottles, but he needed another drink choice if he got tired of the sugar and caffeine.
Charlie gave me a side glance when I held up the lunchbox and the thermoses.
"What's this?" He asks taking the lunchbox.
"I figured you'd need some food to keep your energy up through your shift. I made two sandwiches, I put an apple in there too. I know you didn't ask for soda, but I figured it'd help too with some water bottles." I explained.
Uncle Charlie smiled, awkwardly grateful and unsure how to react, "Thank you, kiddo." He ruffled up my hair as he took the rest of what I packed for him.
I waved to him in the doorway as he drove off down the street, I locked up the house and did some cleaning. I fell asleep on the couch, watching nick-at-nite and reading, The Mill of the Floss open and laying across my upper chest.
I dreamed about Jacob again. Slowly dancing away from each other, sometimes through the dream, it felt like the earth dully rumbling underneath my feet every time we came close to each other. This time in my dream, I reached out to him and the scene before me slowed down, he took my hand ever so softly. His hand was soft but rough, and his skin burned mine, but it sent chills throughout my body, and I craved his body heat. He slowly danced away from me again when I let go of his hand; when Jacob let go of my hand and created a massive amount of distance between us, my ears picked up on a song playing in the distant background.
All I could make out was the drums and guitar, but I know that song, I just couldn't place it. I know that song, I want to know what it is called or it's going to drive me nuts for the next couple of days before I dismissed the dream all together.