He opened his eyes to unknown surroundings, in an unknown bed, with no clue as to how he had gotten there. Yet he found solace when his eyes finally gazed upon someone familiar: her head was hung as she dozed off, her forearms on her flexed knees as she sat next to him.
"Suki…?" he whispered, pushing himself up with difficulty.
She was startled awake upon hearing him calling her name. She smiled as she gazed upon him, lowering her knees and lunging forward to embrace him tightly. Zuko sighed and closed his eyes again, surrounding her with his arms.
"You're awake. Finally…" she said. Zuko caressed her back gently.
"For how long was I out?" he asked.
"Two days now, no less. You fell unconscious after we had our argument," she said, pulling away and looking at him apologetically. "You remember that, right?"
It was only when she mentioned the argument that Zuko finally recalled what had happened. He swallowed hard as the revelations from that chaotic day came back to him. He shook his head, gazing up at Suki pleadingly afterwards.
"Tell me it was just a bad dream. It's not really the Avatar, or is it…?" he asked. Suki sighed.
"I'm afraid it is him. He showed me," she whispered. "He bends both air and water. It seems he hasn't learned anything else yet, though."
"Spirits save me," said Zuko, closing his eyes. "Here I thought he was gone for good and it turns out he was here all along…"
"From what they told me, Katara found him stuck in some iceberg. It seems he spent about a hundred years suspended inside it, nobody knows how," said Suki. Zuko scoffed in disbelief.
"That sounds absurd," he said. She shrugged.
"I thought so too, but it seems to be what happened," she whispered. He sighed.
"It'd mean he's a man out of his time. Which means… he's been around since Sozin's era? Really?"
"He was born before the war, yes. That's what little I know," said Suki. Zuko sighed.
"Have they treated you well while I was out of it?" he asked. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm doing fine, and yeah, they were actually quite nice after I talked you out of doing something stupid," said Suki, smiling. "Though well, I guess it'd be more accurate to say I yelled you out of it instead. Sorry that I got so emotional and intense, I just… for a moment I thought I'd lose you forever. If you'd become the man your father wanted you to be…"
"It would have meant becoming like him. And that's one thing I won't do," said Zuko, breathing deeply. "I wasn't thinking straight, Suki. But I am now. I… I know I made the right choice. Don't worry about how upset you were, you had every right to be. Especially seeing how we're going to be…"
He swallowed hard as he looked at her still flat abdomen. Suki smiled and reached for one of his hands, guiding it to her womb.
"It's still too small to feel it," she said. "But it's in there, alright. I've had a few more bouts of sickness, but I've been doing okay, for the most part."
Zuko sighed and pressed his forehead to hers. As reassuring as his words had been so far, Suki still glanced at him insecurely.
"Would you like to eat something?" she asked "You probably should…"
"I should," he agreed, nodding as he caressed her womb. "I just… I can't stop thinking about everything. Maybe I should calm down, but I… I don't know how."
"You should stop worrying, yes," said Suki, caressing his forearm. "The more you mull things over, the more they'll eat away at you. Relax, Zuko. We can get through this, we'll… we'll figure things out. Our child will grow safely, we'll see to it."
"Our child, huh? Ours…" Zuko whispered, and to Suki's relief, he smiled a little as he stroked her belly. "Is this what you had wanted to tell me at the settlement?"
"It wasn't the best timing, I know. And I also know it's very inconvenient, all things considered…" Suki whispered. Zuko shrugged.
"It may not have been part of our plans, but I… I can't say I mind too much," he told her. "If anything, I even like the idea. If I'm to have children, it should be with you, right?"
"You're too sweet," said Suki, smiling. Zuko chuckled.
"I guess we'll have to get married now, huh?" he said. Suki froze. He raised an eyebrow. "What? You didn't think we'd do that?"
"W-well, I… I didn't expect you to propose just like that, I guess. If that's a proposal, of course…" said Suki, her eyes wide. Zuko nodded.
"It was one. I mean, what else are we going to do? We should get married," he said. Suki smiled.
"Yeah. We should. I guess I just… expected you to be a little more romantic when you asked, if you asked at all," she said. Zuko grimaced.
"U-uh, well, if you want me to…"
"No need, the moment's gone," she said, chuckling. "But I guess the Tribe will be happy to hear we'll wed. They seemed somewhat shaken to realize we were involved without being married."
"How is it any of their business?" Zuko growled. "It's not their problem if we'll be married or not, to begin with. We'll be gone before they know it, and if we get married or not won't affect them in any…"
"Uh, about that…" said Suki, looking at Zuko with uncertainty. He frowned.
"What about it?" he asked. She swallowed hard.
"Things might not turn out to be quite as simple as that, Zuko," she said.
Zuko's frown deepened. He should have known this couldn't proceed so smoothly. Nothing in his life was ever simple, after all.
Once he was ready, Suki led him into the igloo's common room, the same place where he had come to realize he was facing the Avatar. He swallowed hard as he noticed it was early, and breakfast had been served: the dishes he could see were either based on fish or seaweed. The low table was crowded with people he had met upon his arrival to the Tribe, save for one old lady he hadn't seen until then. Was she, by any chance, Sokka's grandmother?
"He's awake!" exclaimed the Fire Nation soldier, Kino, upon sighting Zuko.
Everyone's attention went to the threshold where Suki and Zuko stood. The firebender returned their inquisitive stares apprehensively, sensing the antagonism in Katara's glare immediately. To his surprise, the Avatar, who sat beside her, didn't seem remotely as hostile as her. Zuko gazed at him almost remorsefully before turning to the Tribe's Chief, Sokka's father, who sat at the head of the table with his arms crossed, eyeing him warily.
"Here, here!" said Kino, making room beside him so both Suki and Zuko could sit by him. Zuko didn't move, though. Not until he knew what his status amongst the Tribe was by now.
"You can have a seat," Hakoda said, to Zuko's surprise. "It's good to know you're awake. For a moment we thought you had died on us somehow. Do you black out like this often?"
"N-not often," Zuko muttered, frowning. Suki clasped his hand, leading him to his seat by Kino's side. "Are you sure we can join you?"
"Well, we're not going to starve you to death, are we?" said Hakoda. Zuko thought he'd seen a hint of disappointment in Katara's eyes upon hearing those words, but he hoped he had imagined it. "Have some food. Don't eat too fast, you've been out cold for a while and your stomach might have trouble keeping food down."
"Why are you being so kind all of sudden?" Zuko asked, frowning. "I mean, I'm glad, but…"
"Because as it happens, you've discovered something you were never supposed to discover," said Hakoda. "As a result, you'll have to bear with life in our Tribe until we decide you're trustworthy enough to let you go."
"Wait, what?!" Zuko exclaimed, his eyes wide. "So I'm as good as your prisoner? We are?!"
"Not both of you. Just you," said Katara, after swallowing a mouthful of pickled fish. "We're not half as worried about her, but she can't leave the Tribe either because she can't risk traveling in her condition."
"She can't? Why, because she's pregnant? But we came all the way down here…"
"And if you want her to be able to go anywhere else, I think you'll have to accept she'll stay here for at least nine months," said Katara, simply. Zuko gritted his teeth.
"Besides, we can't go anywhere," said Suki. "She froze our ship, so we're really stuck here until they feel like letting us go."
"Then we are prisoners. We are!" Zuko exclaimed, though he became lightheaded quickly after his outburst. Kanna handed him a plate.
"Eat, young man. You need it," she said. He grimaced but accepted the food: he needed sustenance more direly than he wanted to admit.
He took a deep breath and started with his food, and he grimaced upon the foreign and unlikeable taste. To his surprise, Suki seemed to be perfectly comfortable with the food, perhaps she even enjoyed it. He had to remind himself that she had been raised in a fishing village, unlike him…
"I know it sounds awful," Aang chimed in, his conciliatory tone surprising Zuko. "I guess you mean no harm, not anymore… right?"
"At this point? I just want to… to forget all this ever happened," Zuko snapped.
"Wouldn't it be great if we could do that," said Katara, with a sigh.
"Is it so hard to ask you to trust me?" Zuko asked. Hakoda raised an eyebrow.
"You show up unexpectedly at our Pole, with a pregnant lady, refusing to tell us who you are," he said. "The next thing we know, you're the Fire Lord's son and your life's quest has been to find and capture the Avatar, a quest you were more than willing to put into effect until Suki stopped you. I suppose I may be hard on you, and I should probably cut you some slack since you've been through a lot… but is it so hard to understand why we won't trust you that easily?"
Zuko grimaced. No, it wasn't hard to see Hakoda's point at all, but it was hard to bear with the idea of staying in this Tribe for as long as they deemed it necessary. He wanted nothing to do with them, let alone did he want to stay here for months. For the millionth time, he cursed the currents that had dragged them off-course. If only they had arrived in Kyoshi Island they would still be happily oblivious to Aang's existence…
"How can I make you people trust me? I get that I'll have to earn it, but… there's got to be something I can do to prove you I mean no harm. Not anymore," said Zuko. Hakoda shrugged and glanced at his daughter, who had her arms crossed over her chest.
"Well, if there's any more information you can give us, on Sokka, or your father, or your sister, or how to get my brother back…" she said. Zuko sighed.
"I'm pretty sure that's easier said than done," said Suki, looking at Katara pleadingly. "Zuko has always been distant with his father and his sister. They've never had a good relationship. Which of course means he wasn't that close with his sister's gladiator…"
"You knew Sokka too, though, right?" said Katara. "You said so earlier. If you can share anything else about him, that might help your cause too."
"Well… I'm not sure, I mean, we didn't talk too much, not in our only date nor afterwards, but… but I remember that he told me he used his position to stop the Fire Lord from killing my sponsor," said Suki, with a sigh. "Somehow, he struck a deal so that the White Lotus people who had attacked the Fire Nation would remain unharmed. He achieved some unexpected things, thanks to his closeness to the Princess."
"Really?" said Katara, frowning and tensing up. The more they talked about Sokka's relationship with Azula, the more uneasy she became.
"Is there any chance he might have been the cause for the Fire Lord's withdrawal of the troops from the South Pole?" Hakoda asked. Suki and Zuko shared a glance before shrugging.
"I wouldn't know," said Zuko. "But… maybe it really was him?"
"Or maybe you're just saying it could have been him to make us feel better," said Katara. Zuko huffed and rolled his eyes.
"Honestly, we don't know details of a lot of things. Whatever's going on in the height of the Fire Nation's politics, well…" said Suki.
"We were completely out of it, that's what," said Zuko. "I haven't been allowed to join my father's council in sessions since… since I was thirteen. I have no idea what he's plotting now or what his actions are leading to. So, if you wanted any inside information… well, the best I can give you is that the Fire Nation forces are more oriented towards fighting the Northern Water Tribe than you people, as we are. That's seriously all I know."
"So, you have nothing to give us on your sister, my brother, your father, the Fire Nation…" said Katara, scowling.
"I'd think Sokka did have something to do with this, though. At least it would add up with his actions up until now," said Hakoda. "Whether his closeness with his slaver conceals the intent of stopping the war or not, it doesn't change the fact that he'd be stopping it indeed if he uses her to get to her father…"
"I really don't know if that's what he's up to, but… maybe he wants to do that, while also being genuinely interested in the Princess," said Suki. "That's the only thing that makes sense to me, at least going from his actions."
"But why would he…?" said Katara, shaking her head. "I mean, curses, Haka and Kattan did say he said stupid things to her, that maybe he was impressed by her beauty, but it's ridiculous to think Sokka would be blinded to her crimes just because she's pretty. I can't fathom it."
"I don't think he would have been blinded. At least, I'd hope not," said Hakoda, before glancing at Suki and Zuko. "But going by what they're saying, and by the fact that Sokka has never been an accomplished liar, I fear he's not quite as antagonistic towards his captor as the rest of us are, Katara."
"Why, though?" said Katara, shaking her head.
"As I've told you before, she saved my life when I was in a very bad situation," said Suki, biting her lip. "She may seem a demon in your eyes, in the eyes of many, but… but without her I'd be dead by now. I'm sure of it."
Zuko gritted his teeth and clasped Suki's hand in his. She squeezed his fingers gently.
"Are there any reasons why you suspect they're really close?" Hakoda asked. "Other than that hug you mentioned, Prince…"
"Well, we watched them spar once, when we were training with him for this event," said Suki. "That's also when he hugged her. And well, when they fought… she beat him by a slim margin, but they just had this playful banter going on, and there was this… camaraderie with them that he didn't have with anyone else. He really seemed genuinely happy to see her, and…"
"And so was she," said Zuko. "Fact is, my sister… she had always been a rather cruel person, someone I never approached, for my own sake. She mocked me, fought with me, laughed at my pain, she… she did a lot of vicious things when we were children, and yet she also was the only person to help me when I needed it the most, once my father banished me the first time."
"And…?" said Katara.
"And the thing is, I went ten years without seeing her, and upon meeting her again she was mostly unchanged. But as more time went by, I realized a lot of things about her and grew to understand her a little better. And one of the things I noticed was… well, your brother and his fierce loyalty to my sister seem to have made her a kinder person than she used to be. Yes, she still enjoyed mocking me, but she also was willing to try to improve our relationship. She saved Suki's life, too, and achieved things I never thought possible. She can bend fire of multiple colors, she has a dragon, she's…"
"Fire of multiple colors?" said Hakoda, his eyes wide.
"Haka and Kattan said she used blue fire when she fought Sokka," Katara mumbled.
"Well, now she can use gold fire too," said Zuko. "And when she puts the blue and gold together, she gets… well, some unbelievable kind of fire I'd never seen before."
"And it's true that she has a dragon?" Kino asked, his eyes wide with excitement. "Really?"
"Yeah. She even let me ride him once," said Zuko, with a small smile. "Which isn't something I could imagine her doing when she was younger. If she had one when she was eleven, she absolutely wouldn't have let me ride her dragon, I'm sure of it. But she did now, and… and I don't know if I'm right or wrong, but I have the feeling she has become kinder because of Sokka's influence on her. Somehow."
"Well… this sounds wonderful," said Katara, standing up as she shook her head. Hakoda glanced at her.
"Katara…"
"I don't know what it is you're getting from this, Dad," she said, visibly exasperated. "But the more they talk about this wonderful bond between them, the sicker I feel! Because the more it sounds like they're implying Sokka has… has feelings for her, to say the least! Best case scenario, he's just manipulating her cleverly, which we've already said is unlike him, but in the worst case, he's…!"
"It might not be as bad as you think," said Aang, looking up at her. Katara huffed and looked at Zuko and Suki.
"Is my brother in love with Princess Azula?" she asked, pointedly. When the two of them remained unresponsive, Zuko with his mouth open as he tried to come up with an answer, and Suki glancing at the table with unease, a soft blush on her face, Katara gave out a bark of laughter. "This is the sickest, most twisted thing I've heard in my entire life!"
"I don't know if they're…!" Zuko started. "At least I don't think that's how it is, I mean, it'd make no sense!"
"Why not?" said Suki, raising an eyebrow. Zuko stiffened.
"Not because they can't end up in love, really," he told her. "But because… because it's not convenient for her. My sister has been my father's favorite child forever, and she's not allowed, or at least, not supposed to get involved with anyone until marriage. She's held to standards of purity…"
"As it works in our tribe, too," said Hakoda.
"Well, the Fire Nation is particularly strict about it with highborn girls," said Zuko. "And none of them is as highborn as my sister. If she were to get involved with a slave, of all things, she'd lose everything she's worked for. All her glory, all her achievements, gone up in smoke. Our father would treat her as horribly as he has treated me for the last few years, if not worse. Because… because he never expected anything from me, but he expects everything from her, and she delivers. Now, if she stops delivering? There's no telling what the punishment will be. And if he were to discover her in some sort of affair with Sokka, the punishment could only be a thousand times worse than what he's done to me. So, I'd think my clever, strategic sister isn't going to let her heart get the better of her if she really has feelings for him. She's Crown Princess now, as she always wanted to be. I can't imagine her putting that in jeopardy just for a chance to… well…"
"To fuck my brother?" Katara finished, with a sarcastic smirk. Zuko swallowed hard. "You know… I hope you're right. I really hope your sister is just as goal-oriented and determined to succeed your father as you say she is. Because if she isn't, and she's involved with Sokka somehow…!"
"We'll be in trouble," said Hakoda, sighing. Katara froze before glaring at him.
"What?"
"If Sokka has feelings for this girl, and his influence is making her a better person, perhaps even a better future ruler for the Fire Nation, of the kind who might stop the war altogether, then… then maybe we'd only ruin the world's chances for peace if we try to rescue him," said Hakoda, frowning. Katara huffed.
"You're… you're joking, right?"
"We'll have to think everything over, of course," said Hakoda. "But now I'm even wondering if he'll want us to save him at all. What if he really is enjoying his time there? What if he… what if he has feelings for the Princess?"
"That's ridiculous…! He wouldn't be that stupid!" Katara exclaimed. "There's absolutely no way that Sokka would have feelings for her, no way! I mean… it's just ridiculous! All of this is! He would never so much as touch her, let alone do more than that! He has to hate her! After everything she did to him, everything she's done to us all, there's just no way Sokka would be involved in some twisted affair with Princess Azula!"
Her fingers gripped the back of his head, her nails clawing at him with every deeper thrust. She gasped, his hands moving over her body and caressing her daringly, intimately, urgently. She was taking him in as deeply as she could, her legs fully spread as she sat atop him, her back against his chest. His lips were attached to her neck, sucking wildly while he boosted her arousal in the best ways he knew how. And all she could do was moan and cry out in utmost pleasure with every movement of his hips.
"Don't stop! D-don't stop!" Azula panted, and Sokka groaned as his hands cupped her breasts, brushing her sweaty skin with his breath and lips. He had no intentions of stopping, that was for sure…
One of his hands slid down from her chest to her groin, and to Azula's delight he took to teasing her clit as he pushed deeply inside her in short and fast motions. At first, she had been the one taking care of the thrusting, but she had been overwhelmed by his touch and kisses as she bared herself to him as she had. She had no defenses against him as she was, and it felt so good to be under his full control. She often promised him she'd turn things around one day, that she'd be the one overwhelming him with pleasure… yet every single time she had tried to do as much she had wound up helpless, and the jerk had taken over as soon as he found the chance to do so.
So even now, as she sat atop him, he would carry on thrusting from below her as her legs shook violently, her lips parted as she struggled for breath. He groaned in pleasure, the low sound so erotic to Azula's ears that she could hardly take it. She was going to explode again in no time, that was for certain…
She had arrived at Sokka's house after having breakfast at the Palace, meaning to spend some time with him before taking him to Ty Lee's house for his training with Haru. They had done so twice already, leaving the gladiators to spar while Azula, Mai and Ty Lee chatted as they watched them. It was the third week in a row that their reinstated reunion arrangement would take place, a brand-new record, Azula thought…
But at this rate she wasn't sure the streak would last. Sokka had been in bed when she arrived, and when she woke him as gently as she could he had surprised her by surrounding her waist with an arm, pulling her into the bed before yanking off every garment she was wearing. She had been shivering, splayed over the sheets with a ridiculous smile on her face, about ten minutes later, her hair in complete disarray as a fully awake Sokka lay beside her, thanking her for dropping by with effusive kisses.
She had accompanied him as he ate after her body had calmed down, and afterwards Azula had insisted they needed to clean up, since it would not be appropriate for them to head to Ty Lee's place without doing so. Ironically, this had only resulted in yet another tryst in the bathroom, though at least they had been able to clean up after that one, as Azula had intended.
Their drive was such that they couldn't stop even then. Playful banter in Sokka's room had shifted into heated kisses, and all of sudden Azula had been trying her hardest to tease Sokka while topping him. He had been delighted about it, but despite it all, he had needed his release most direly. So he had started thrusting into her as eagerly as he could, and Azula had succumbed to his touch, to the friction between their bodies, letting him do as he pleased with her, their appointment forgotten completely by now.
His movements had started slow and sensual, boosting Azula's excitement exponentially, but by now he could hardly hold back at all. He hissed into her ear, his hands still exploring her body as she threw her head back, her curtain of black hair smooth against his bare shoulder. Her hand had left his hair to clasp his, and she as good as guided his touch to wherever she needed it more direly. Sokka's urgency only increased with that, despite he couldn't possibly want something more desperately than to make this delectable encounter last for much longer. He had already burst inside her twice that day, his next load was ready yet again, and he felt the familiar urge to finish… but just a little longer. Just a little longer…
He had no choice but to come when Azula's climax triggered his own. He sucked on her shoulder, albeit not too hard, so he could avoid being too vocal about his pleasure. His thrusting was erratic now as he emptied himself inside her, with groans and gasps as the delightful peak of the experience came and went too fast for his liking.
Azula was still panting heavily, her fingers intertwined with his as she rested against him. She glanced at him just before he groaned and dropped on his back, his head falling on the pillow as he sank in the mattress. She fell along with him, smiling with a hand on his chest, feeling his racing heartbeat against her back as he breathed heavily. Her breathing was accelerated too, her eyes closed as her body relaxed again. Curses, that had been amazing. She recalled her appointment with her friends, but surely they wouldn't mind if they were late, right? Or maybe they were already so late that she was better off not going altogether, and instead she should just spend the day tumbling in the sheets with her prodigious gladiator…
"You're… you're so good at this, damn you…" she gasped. Sokka smiled as he gazed at her.
"You're better yet, you know…" he replied, kissing the top of her head as she rested on his chest, all her weight on him.
"Not true… absolutely not true," said Azula, shaking her head. Sokka laughed.
"I'm only as good as my partner, Azula," he said. She chuckled too as she turned, so they would be face-to-face, moving to kiss his lips.
His hands caressed her body again, and he felt her wildly beating heart as he touched her chest. He loved knowing he had been the one to elicit her thrills, the excitement that kept her shivering even now. His arms went around her and he held her close, as Azula breathed out slowly, her head on his shoulder as she waited for the dark spots swimming before her eyes to finally disappear.
"We've lost all common sense, haven't we?" she asked. Sokka smiled.
"Looks like it," he said.
"It's all your fault, you know," she said. "I had no such impure intentions when I came here today…"
"Not my fault that you're so beckoning, Princess," he told her, stroking her hair. "If you had the slightest clue of how beautiful and sensual you are, you wouldn't be blaming me for acting upon my urges…"
"All I know is that we're very lucky I've been drinking that tea every day," said Azula, chuckling. "Else after the insane action we had today, I definitely would have ended up with child."
"Yeah, I guess we're a bit reckless, eh?" said Sokka, with an awkward smile.
"Not we, it's all on you," she said, kissing his neck and cheek. Sokka chuckled. "Jerk. The things you did today… t-the way you were thrusting, damn it, I thought I was going to faint. How on earth did you learn to do that kind of thing?"
Sokka laughed and kissed her forehead, closing his eyes and relaxing with her in his arms. But he tensed up again when she gave him a curious look, propping herself on her elbows, her brow slightly furrowed.
"Really, though. How did you come up with that?" she asked.
Sokka frowned, looking at her warily. Was she seriously asking him that question?
"W-what do you mean, exactly?" he asked.
"You know, what you just did. Took control as soon as I lowered my guard, and despite I was on top you just knew how to keep going," she said. Sokka's eyes widened. "It's not that you haven't stolen control from me before, you do it all the time, but… this time it was different."
"Different how?" said Sokka, looking at her warily. "It's not the first time I do something like that…"
"No, but when you steal control you usually just make us roll on the bed and get on top," she said, with a smile. "This was new."
"Heh, well. If you liked it you should just enjoy it and not ask about where it came from," he said, with a weak grin.
He thought he'd dodged the bullet, given she was smiling at him… but he realized a little too late that he had said the worst thing he could have said. Because now she frowned heavily, no longer with curiosity but rather with irritation.
"Oh? So, then it wasn't just some spontaneous thing you came up with in the midst of passion?" she asked, raising her eyebrows. Sokka paled. "Do tell, then. How did you learn it?"
"I… it totally was that, yeah! Actually, I had never done this before, it's a brand-new position for me, so…!"
"Oh, really?" she said, propping herself up with a scowl. "Why do I have a hard time believing that?"
"B-because you're just thinking too much, I just didn't want to answer such a weird question!"
"Why wouldn't you have wanted to, if that's apparently the answer?" she asked, through gritted teeth.
Sokka tightened his lips, fearful. Her golden eyes were gleaming in an all-too familiar way, with distrust and annoyance. He had messed up, messed up big time. He had to fix this somehow, but how? Maybe another round? No, he was pretty sure Azula had already had her fill of him as it was, especially now… so what was he supposed to do? Answer her questions earnestly? That wasn't a good idea, or was it?
"I… okay, okay, it was just a bit of advice I heard once, and…"
"As if," she snapped. Sokka cringed. "The truth. Now."
"Spirits, Azula…" he said, sighing and throwing his head back. "If I tell you the truth, you'll just get mad and won't talk to me for a year, so how about we spare ourselves the hassle and…?"
"Oh, so that's how it is?" Azula asked, looking at him with indignation as she climbed off him altogether. Sokka pouted and waved his hands towards her, hoping to take her in his arms again, but she was already out of reach. "Marvelous! So, as it turns out, my awfully experienced lover has a few stories he refuses to disclose! That's just fascinating, isn't it?"
"Azula, must we really talk about this? Just after we had such great sex…" he whined, but her glare answered his question all on its own.
"Yes, we must," she growled, picking up her clothes and glaring at him. "Talk. Answer my question now, Sokka."
"Damn it, why should I?" he groaned, sitting up on the bed. "Can't you believe me when I say that you just don't want to know?"
"Hard to believe it when I'm literally saying I do," said Azula. Sokka sighed and buried his face in his hands. "Well? Do tell, was it her?"
"Her who?"
"You know who. The bounty hunter," Azula uttered the words with contempt, through tightly gritted teeth. Sokka's lack of response made her frown. "What…? It wasn't her?"
"W-wait, wait, wait, please…" said Sokka, climbing off the bed to approach Azula pleadingly. "It… it happened a long time ago, way before that thing with June, okay?"
"Oh, really?" Azula asked, her eyes wide. "Then where? In Shu Jing? I think you conveniently forgot to mention you had gotten involved with someone while there, if that's the case…"
"No, not Shu Jing either…" said Sokka, dropping his gaze. Azula's frown deepened.
"If it wasn't Shu Jing, then…"
"It was… i-in Hui Yi. Now, please…"
"What?" said Azula, her eyes widening. "Hui Yi? Are you… are you kidding me? You couldn't possibly have had a chance to get involved with someone while there, or did you?"
"I… not quite, no. I wouldn't say it counted as 'being involved with someone'…" said Sokka, swallowing hard. "Seriously, Azula, the mere memory is bad enough, maybe we can just go to Ty Lee's and…"
"No," she said, pointedly. "We're going nowhere. What did you mean with that?"
"Blast it, you're never going to let this go, are you?" he asked, sighing. "Azula, honestly, don't press on with this. It's not worth it, not worth putting all we've achieved at risk over…"
"Why would it put everything at risk, mind you?" Azula asked, after fixing the bandages around her chest and putting on her shirt. "If what happened with you and the bounty-hunter wasn't bad enough to make me think you were utterly unforgivable, why would this be? How much worse could it be? I mean…"
"Azula, if it had been something normal, you'd still be mad for days," said Sokka, shaking his head. "And since it isn't, you'll probably want to gut me for it, castrate me for daring touch you and all that…"
"Huh. So that's how it'll be?" said Azula, her eyes wide. "Job well done, Sokka. Now I'm really worried."
"Azula, life in Hui Yi was a mess," Sokka said, his head in his hands. "The things that happened there, I… I don't like any of them. Whenever any memory of it comes to my mind, I just wish I had never lived through any of that, and now, more than ever, I regret… I regret a lot of things that happened while I was there, alright?"
"I think I get that, what I don't see is how it relates to what we were talking about in the first place," said Azula, her arms across her chest. "Sokka, were you… raped?"
"What? No! I mean… I guess not?"
"So, you did it willingly?" Azula raised her eyebrows. Sokka swallowed hard.
"I also guess not. I mean, not entirely, but… but they didn't want to do it either, if that's any help."
"They?" said Azula, her eyes widening. "W-what on earth are you talking about?"
Sokka's stomach sank: given the horrified look on her face, it was apparent Azula was envisioning something horrible that, Sokka hoped, was far worse than the truth. But he still didn't feel too comfortable disclosing his experiences…
"Okay, okay, fine. I'll… put your mind at ease, and you can stop imagining things that didn't happen," he said, with a sigh. "There were times when… when Huang Li would make a decent amount of money. So, every… what, two, three months? He'd just arrange a… a bit of an awful event or so. He'd pretend that it was all to congratulate us survivors, but really, it was…"
"What kind of horrifying event?" Azula asked, speaking slowly, her voice fluctuating with nervousness regardless. Sokka sighed.
"He'd contact the guy who ran the local brothel. So… so he'd get a group of girls to go to the barracks and, according to him, 'lift our spirits' before we went to the Arena again on the next day…" Sokka finally said, unable to hold Azula's gaze as he spoke.
He swallowed hard, still not meeting her eyes, dreading the explosion he knew was building in her. He gritted his teeth as Azula said nothing, but he didn't bother hoping she'd be fine… he knew her silence could mean nothing good, and when he finally dared look at her, he confirmed everything he dreaded.
Her eyes were wide, but her brow was furrowed. She looked at him as though he had morphed into something she didn't understand, a complete stranger, only with a single confession. He cringed.
"Azula, please, it's not as bad as you…"
"Not as bad?" she said. Sokka sensed how her voice shook, regardless of how softly she was speaking. "Not as bad? You were with…? You were with…?"
"Honestly, it really isn't at all as you're imagining it, I wasn't into…!"
"Are you out of your mind?!" Azula finally snapped, her fists shaking. "How could you ever…?! Oh, for crying out loud, you were with prostitutes. Of all things… now I wish it'd been the damn bounty hunter!"
"N-no! I mean, sure, wish whatever you want but…!"
"Oh, am I really free to do that? Because as I am, the only thing I wish for is to get out of here before I set you on fire in a fit of rage!" Azula bellowed. "Curse it, how could you…?!"
"Oh, come on, Azula, it's not like I could've known what was going to happen between us!" Sokka exclaimed.
"Ah, so I get it! You would have stayed clean and pure if you'd known you'd end up falling in love with the Fire Lord's daughter, but since you didn't, you decided to bed as many prostitutes as you could, along with that bounty-hunter, because who cares? It's not like you'd ever find someone you really cared about eventually, right? Someone who was…!"
Azula gritted her teeth and shook her head before grabbing the rest of her clothes. She put them on brusquely as she carried on shaking her head, her jaw squared still.
"Someone who was what, exactly?" Sokka asked, frowning.
"Someone who loved you, too!" Azula snapped. "I mean… isn't it mere decency not to do this sort of thing? Or were you just that eager to… to discover whether all talk about Water Tribe men is true?"
"What?" said Sokka, looking at her in confusion. "What talk is that?"
"What else? Ty Lee always rambled about how Water Tribe men are known to be oh, so good at sex," Azula snapped, pushing her feet into her boots with difficulty.
"We're what now?" said Sokka, before shaking his head and looking at her earnestly. "No, no, come on Azula! Look, it's not half as bad as you imagine, let alone was it any fun at all! I assure you, every single time it happened, all I wanted was for it to be over!"
"Is that so? I suppose it must have been really unpleasant, fucking some prostitute just as you fucked… as you… as you fucked me."
"Azula, don't…! Don't even think about comparing both things, because they're nothing alike!" Sokka exclaimed. Azula barked with fake laughter.
"For certain!" she said. "I mean, all things considered, surely, she had more experience than I… oh, wait, THEY had more experience than I ever could hope to have, so surely it was a lot better with them!"
"What the…?! No! Azula, for crying out loud, listen to me for once in your life before going crazy over nothing!"
"Oh, so now it's nothing?" Azula asked, standing up and looking at him in disbelief. "So all of sudden, sex is nothing to you?"
"If it's not with you, yes!" Sokka exclaimed, jumping out of the bed too and looking at her pleadingly. "Come on, just listen to me for ten minutes and I swear I…!"
"Well, isn't it funny? You think it's nothing if it's not with me, but what I think is that it means a whole lot to me than it does to you that you were with… with them, as many of them as there were!" she exclaimed, waving an arm angrily as Sokka pulled his pants up, cursing under his breath. "And indeed, now that I mention it, how many were the 'they' you were talking about, huh? How many?"
"Oh, for fuck's sake, Azula, are you really that much of a masochist?! I'm trying to tell you things that might show you just how awful the entire situation was, trying to help you calm down, but every new question you ask is worse than the one before!"
"Do excuse me for worrying about how many women must have been blown away by your impressive prowess!" Azula said, rolling her eyes as she buckled her belt and moved to the dresser to arrange her hair to the best of her ability. She was determined not to ask Sokka to help her, for once.
"Well, it's not important how many there were! And if you say it's important to you…!"
"What if I do?"
"Then you're out of your mind because it's only going to anger you!" Sokka exclaimed. Azula gritted her teeth and glared at him.
"Okay, so… let me think," she said, after tying up her half-knot. "You said every two or three months, right? So, at the very worst, you saw what, twelve of these disgusting events? Meaning you were with twelve girls?"
"Not twelve, I was with…!" Sokka exclaimed. "Curses, why must you…?"
"Because I'm sickeningly curious. I need to know just how bad it is to figure out if I can cope with this at all!" she retorted. He huffed.
"Fine! It was… seven," he grunted. Azula closed her eyes, a grimace of disgust in her face regardless. "It wasn't as bad as you…!"
"It's bad enough, blast it!" Azula shouted. "I mean, anything would be bad, but…! Spirits, I can't deal with this right now."
"What the…? Wait, where are you going?!" Sokka exclaimed, as Azula stormed out of the room, shaking her head still.
He cursed again before throwing on his shirt, tightening his belt around it quickly before bolting out of the room. Azula was pacing in the living room, her hands on her temples as she did what Sokka dreaded and knew she'd do with the knowledge she'd acquired: overthink everything.
"You do realize I've put my neck out for you in the most unreasonable manner countless times?!" Azula exclaimed, as Sokka reached the bottom of the stairs. "That every single time I come to you, that we do what we do, I'm putting everything at risk?! And yet all along you've kept this from me and…!"
"And what?" Sokka asked, stomping his way towards her. "What does this change, mind you? Does it make you think I don't love you, maybe? Do you really think that's how this works?"
"What I think is that…!" said Azula, gritting her teeth. Sokka scowled.
"Uh-huh. What's the real reason you're so worried?" he growled. "What is it, you think I had a blast with them? That they got diseases on me and now I passed them on to you? What is it?!"
Azula grimaced and recoiled from him. Sokka gritted his teeth.
"Azula, just stay put for ten seconds and let me tell the whole truth, every bit of it, and maybe that way you won't judge me as badly as you…"
"You know, it's… it's funny?" she said. "But despite I wanted the truth earlier, I find I really don't care for it right now. Hilarious, right?"
"Oh, come on!" Sokka exclaimed. Azula merely shook her head and made her way to the house's backyard. "Azula, get back here! I need to explain…!"
"What for? So I can learn all about how your miraculous skills came to be?" she asked, as Xin Long descended on the grass. "Sorry to disappoint, but as I am, I don't feel like it!"
"But if I don't tell you the whole story…!" Sokka started, as he made his way to the yard too.
"How the hell would your story make me feel less revolted, less disappointed, less… angry?!" she bellowed, as she climbed on Xin Long's saddle.
"Curses, but… you can't just leave like this! We have to talk this through! That's what we're supposed to do!" Sokka exclaimed. Azula shook her head.
"I'm in no place to talk calmly right now. So goodbye," she growled, ushering Xin Long to take off, to Sokka's chagrin. He snarled as he watched the dragon soar into the sky, a heavy frown on his face.
"Well, fine!" he shouted. "Go on then, run away with your tail between your legs and carry on imagining all sorts of awful nonsense that never happened because it didn't! That was seriously the worst time in my life, but you're oh so sure I had a blast, right?! Well, I didn't! Never! But who cares, right? Guys love sex, there's no way he was just waiting for it to be over and feeling like scum afterwards…!"
He realized he was yelling at nothing, since Azula was long gone, but he had found it hard to stop as he dropped on his knees on the grass. What on earth had just happened? How had they gone from getting along perfectly on every single level… only for them to have such a massive fall-out ten minutes later? He gritted his teeth and shook his head. This was preposterous.
He had known she would react just as she had, which was one reason why he had never brought up the matter of his past. The other reason was that the mere memories were simply too painful. He gritted his teeth, his fists tightened as flashes of what he'd endured in Hui Yi crossed his mind. Azula knew he'd suffered, knew he'd been through harsh times while in the accursed town, and yet now she surely was imagining he'd had the time of his life because of Huang Li's accursed stunt. Did she consider he hadn't expected to survive Hui Yi in the first place? Let alone did he expect to fall in love with anyone afterwards, especially not with her. She had blown the matter of the women out of proportion in ghastly ways, refusing to hear any of Sokka's explanations about the matter… for there were explanations, and he hoped that, if she heard them, she might not resent him as much as she did right now.
But what good were explanations when she was already gone? He groaned and headed inside again, fuming, guessing the next time they met wouldn't be quite as enjoyable as this one had been…
"Woah. We thought you weren't coming at all!" Ty Lee exclaimed as she rushed into her house's backyard. Azula jumped off the dragon's saddle, a heavy frown on her face. "Uh… where's Sokka?"
When Azula's eyebrow twitched upon the mention of his name, Ty Lee recoiled. Mai, sitting on the veranda next to Haru, watched her friends with curiosity as Yuudai played with her hair.
"He didn't come. Or, rather, I chose not to bring him," Azula grunted. Ty Lee swallowed hard.
"U-uh, okay then. Odd that you'd be so late, though," she said. Azula glared at her before walking towards the veranda.
"I… guess we're not going to be training today?" Haru asked her. Azula shook her head. "Oh…"
"I need… to talk," said Azula, looking at Mai pointedly. Mai's eyebrow rose.
"Is that so?" she asked. "What about?"
"Things I'd rather not say in front of him," said Azula, looking at Haru. He swallowed hard before smiling at Mai.
"Uh, I'll take Yuudai to play upstairs. Don't worry about a thing. You three can talk as you please," he said. Mai nodded and handed the child to him.
"Take good care of him," she said.
Ty Lee approached warily as an exasperated Azula sank in the place Haru had just vacated, dropping her head in her hands as her elbows rested on her knees. Ty Lee and Mai exchanged a worried look, both unsure if they had the courage to ask Azula about whatever had delayed her.
"Are you okay?" Ty Lee asked. Azula huffed.
"I'm brilliant. Never been better," she growled. Mai sighed.
"What did he do?" she asked. Ty Lee smiled a little, having known just as well as Mai did that whatever Azula was mad about could only relate to Sokka.
"Well, really…" said Azula, gritting her teeth as she slid a hand through her hair. "I guess that's precisely the question, isn't it?"
"Uh, it is?" said Ty Lee, looking at Azula with concern. Azula sighed and looked at Mai.
"When you and Ruon Jian got married, was he…?" she asked. Mai only raised a confused eyebrow, and Azula had the distinct feeling that Mai knew what she was talking about, but would force her to blurt it out anyways. She sighed: "A virgin."
Ty Lee's hands flew to her mouth as Mai raised her eyebrows. To Azula's astonishment, she merely shrugged.
"I don't know. I never asked," she said. Azula snorted.
"Then you're smarter than me, then. By far," she grunted. Mai smirked.
"It only took around fifteen years until you admitted it…"
"Azula, why are you asking that? Did he…? Did he cheat on you?" Ty Lee asked. Azula shook her head.
"No, that's not… no. That's not the point," she said, gritting her teeth. "I mean, I get that to you it'll sound like something stupid to be hung up on, but I…! I was one, as you know, so… so I guess I just…"
"You hoped the guy you'd be with for the first time would be just as new to it as you are?" said Mai. Ty Lee grimaced.
"That's… easier said than done," she said. "Even a guy like Haru had a few experiences before he was with me. I'm not saying all guys are womanizers or anything, but… especially in noble houses and such you'll find that too often we're held to standards of purity that guys just don't need to worry about."
"Which is utterly stupid. Either it should be important for everyone or for no one at all," Azula growled. "But the thing is, I… I knew I wasn't his first. Of course I knew. But I… I didn't think I'd be his…"
"Uh-oh," said Mai.
"His ninth?" Azula said, her eyes wide as she shook her head in horror. "And what's worse is that the ones before me were…! Curses, I can't even say it. I… I can't stomach it still. It's so disturbing, and so illogical, and I just…! I never expected this, alright? I thought… I mean, fine, I was a naïve idiot, but… but I just thought that he'd have common sense, right? That he wouldn't jump into bed with any random someone who threw herself at him. But now I'm not so sure. Why would he do it if he didn't want to do it, huh?"
"Well… I'm getting a bad feeling about this," said Mai, with a grimace. "When did this happen? Before you knew each other or…?"
"No. Well, somewhat," said Azula, dropping her head in a hand. "Apparently it happened while he was in Hui Yi. So, basically, when all he wanted to do to me was gut me with a knife. So, on top of it all, I'm the reason he got entangled with any other women in the first place. If I hadn't dumped him there at all, if I had just… I don't know, kept him! Then…"
"Why would you have done that back then? You had no way of knowing he'd be of some use to you afterwards," said Mai. Azula sighed.
"I know. I know, but I still wish I hadn't done it. For enough reasons," she grunted. "But the problem is I just… I sent him there anyways, so whether I like it or not, I'm responsible for it too. And the fact that he just… that he'd do that sort of thing despite apparently not wanting to? I mean, if he didn't want to do it, as he said a few times, why on earth did he?"
"Maybe there's a reason," said Mai. Azula huffed.
"Maybe. But I left too fast to hear about it."
"So, you went to see him?" said Ty Lee. Azula groaned. "And then you ended up arguing about his past and that's why you didn't bring him at all?"
"Exactly," said Azula.
"Huh. Well… I really don't know what to tell you, Azula," said Ty Lee, grimacing. "I mean…"
"I know, I know. If I didn't judge you for frolicking around with guys, why would I judge him?" said Azula.
"Because you're in love with him?" said Ty Lee. "I mean, that is at the core of the problem. You gave yourself to him in all your untainted purity and he couldn't do the same…"
"And perhaps you're being territorial, too," said Mai. "The thought of him having been with other women, no matter who they were, makes you feel like you're just one more for him. Maybe."
"I… I don't think I am. Not really. But if I am as special as I'm supposed to be?" she said, sarcastically. "Then I'd think I have a reason to be angry indeed."
"Still, all things considered…" said Mai. "While you have a point, and he probably shouldn't have been involved with someone if he had no feelings for them, not all sex is about love, is it?"
"No, I guess, but… I know, I know, I sound like a prude or a naïve teenager who's totally hung up on the absolute purity of love," said Azula, rolling her eyes. "But even though I don't want to act that way, I still feel…"
"Betrayed, to an extent?" said Mai. "Still, as you said, all he wanted with you back then was to kill you for what you'd done to him."
"He could have never imagined he'd end up with you later. He probably never thought he'd see you again," said Ty Lee. "Let alone would he think he'd fall for you."
"So that makes it logical that he'd just… get it on with all those girls?" said Azula, raising her eyebrows. "I mean… it's not to me. It makes me think that…"
"That he might do it again?" asked Mai.
"He said I was getting worked up over nothing. Like… like it doesn't matter to him at all," said Azula. "Or maybe he just wanted to dodge the subject? I don't know…"
"Well…" said Ty Lee, swallowing hard. Azula looked up at her.
"Well what?" she asked. Ty Lee sighed.
"Maybe it's because I'm as bad as him, I don't know…" she said. "But I have my stories, my scars, my problems. I've fallen in and out of love many times, and… well, you'd always said that didn't change who I was or what you thought of me. Mai said the same, too…"
"So, you think I should just take this lightly, without making a huge fuss over how many people he's slept with?" Azula asked. "I mean… I get it. I knew that you'd sympathize with his side of the story, and I've always thought that this isn't something worth judging someone else over, but this time I can't…! I just can't help it. I really can't."
"Are you really afraid he might do it again?" Ty Lee asked.
"No… maybe? I don't know," said Azula, shaking her head. "I mean, I doubt he would but… but what if he did? I don't have much of a right to complain about it since we weren't together, but as we are now…? What if he has one of those 'meaningless' encounters again? What on earth would I be expected to do?"
"Well… you'd be expected to trust him not to do that, in the first place" said Mai. Azula winced. "If you can't be bothered to trust him, then you'll spend the rest of your life panicking over how many women he might be seeing behind your back, until eventually it becomes clear that there were no other women, that he was only interested in you, but by then he might be so tired of your distrust he might move on to someone else…"
Azula's eyes widened as Mai spoke. Even Ty Lee grimaced, but Mai didn't stop yet.
"So, the matter is simply whether you care enough about him to accept his murky past, or if his murky past really kills everything about your relationship with him, reaching the extreme where you cannot forgive him for what he did before you two were even together," said Mai.
"If you word it that way, it just sounds like I'm being an unreasonable asshole," said Azula, sighing. "And maybe I am? I just… the mere thought of him doing things like those with someone else makes me…"
"It makes you die inside a little bit?" said Ty Lee, sighing. "It's got to be hard to take. But as he is now, he only does those things with you, right? So even if he had all those other girls to choose from, he wanted you and you alone. You're fully committed to each other, aren't you?"
"You are committed, on many levels," said Mai. "He's not just your lover, he's your partner in a lot of ways. And this crisis of trust could damage what you two have built over time if you don't deal with it. In the end I guess it comes down to what matters most to you: having been with him despite he has such a questionable past or being with him altogether. Because really, if you decide this is too much for you… you'd let him go, right?"
Azula frowned at the thought. She hadn't really considered ending things with Sokka over this, despite she was indisputably furious about it. The idea of cutting their relationship short now was simply unthinkable. She didn't want to do that, despite hearing about his past, as little as she had heard anyways, had made her want to put as much distance between them as she could get away with… but it wasn't something permanent, she realized. No, she would go back to him eventually. They would talk things through. There was no way she'd sacrifice this relationship over whatever he'd done before they struck their deal, right?
Because regardless of his past, Sokka had helped her achieve things she had never thought possible. She had even found the secret to gold fire because of her love for him. And she would have never felt that love if he hadn't loved her too, in the first place.
He had sacrificed his wellbeing for her many times, put her priorities before his own on countless occasions. He had chosen her, as he had promised, above everything else, every single time. He even had been elated when she had suggested to alter their deal, so that he could visit his Tribe and yet still stay with her afterwards…
She swallowed hard as she rubbed her forehead with her fingers. No, she wouldn't let him go. But what would she do? What would this setback mean for their relationship in the long run?
"I don't think I'll end things," said Azula. "But I… I don't know what to do. Just imagining hearing him talk about it, telling me all the awful details of whatever it is he did with those women…"
"How about you… you put yourself in his place, for a change?" said Ty Lee. Azula frowned.
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"Well, imagine how he must be feeling right now," said Ty Lee. "He was probably not proud of what he did, right?"
"He tried his hardest not to tell me, but I forced him to," said Azula. "He knew I'd… I'd react as I did."
"So, I guess he's crushed about all this, isn't he?" said Ty Lee. Azula shrugged.
"I guess?" she said, sighing. "I mean, he'd always said he's not worthy of me, but only now do I wonder if this is the real reason why he said it. It's true that I knew about one girl before me, but… but I didn't expect this. I really didn't."
"I'd think there's more than enough reasons for him to feel unworthy of you," said Mai. "And yet you jumped into his bed all the same, paying no heed to any of the warning signs because that's how much you loved him. You've put your entire life, everything you've worked for, at risk for Sokka. Is this so bad that you wish you could take it all back?"
"As I said, I… what I'd take back is sending him there altogether," said Azula. "I don't know what our relationship would be if I hadn't, it'd probably be a nightmare, in fact, but… well, at least he wouldn't have been with them. And he wouldn't have had it as hard as he did while he was in Hui Yi."
"The Amateur League was awful," said Ty Lee, biting her lip. "So maybe… maybe being with those women was somehow a way to soothe his pain while he was there? I'm just suggesting something, I guess I must be wrong, but…"
"You meant that they were the only good things he had going for himself back then?" said Azula, raising a questioning eyebrow. "I mean, everything else was bad enough, granted but… the way he talked about it, whether it was because he was ashamed or because the memory hurt too much to evoke it, it didn't sound like they were that good either."
"Then it was all awful," said Mai. "And now with you he's happy as a clam. Is it any wonder he wanted to keep his past a secret from you, both to make sure you wouldn't be disgusted by him and to bask in his current stability and happiness?"
Azula sighed and shook her head.
"I've never asked Ruon Jian about whether or not he had anything serious with other girls before me because I seriously don't care," said Mai. "If I knew about it, I'd probably have a bout of jealousy like yours, I suppose… but it's in his past, and he left them behind to make me his present and his future. So, whatever he might have experienced before, with however many women there were, isn't something I'm overly concerned about."
"You're awfully mature compared to me if that's the case," said Azula, slipping her fingers through her hair again. Mai smirked.
"You've been complimenting me quite a lot today, Azula, that's not like you…"
"Shut up," Azula grunted. Mai chuckled.
"In any case, Mai's right, Azula," said Ty Lee. "Whatever Sokka had with other women doesn't change that he's chosen you now. You're the one he wants, because he's fully committed to you, right?"
"I guess, I mean… I'd suppose he is," said Azula, swallowing hard.
"So, you should just talk things through with him," said Ty Lee, smiling. "Whether to hear the full extent of what he has to say, or hear none of it if you think you're better off not knowing… either thing should work, right?"
"I hope so," said Azula.
"Or, if that's not enough to make you feel better… you can go find eight other guys and get even?"
"What the…?! Ty Lee!" Azula shouted, as Ty Lee giggled.
"It was a joke, it was a joke!" she exclaimed, as Azula rolled her eyes.
The conversation with her friends had helped her level her head, to a degree, but it wasn't enough to appease her completely just yet. Not when she knew she still lacked a lot of answers only Sokka could give her. In truth, she could only settle this matter by talking to him, and that was what she intended to do, on the next day.
"So, she stormed out on you? Really?"
"Really! And she left without hearing what I had to say! I didn't even want to start talking about anything at first, but she forced me, and then she just left! I mean, curse it all, how is it fair?!"
"I guess it's not," said Song, with a sad grimace.
Sokka huffed and shook his head, pacing the living room as he yanked his hair. He still had a hard time understanding how things had gone awry so suddenly, and unsurprisingly, he deeply regretted having told Azula the truth. Why couldn't he be a more convincing liar? If only he had managed to feed her a believable story… but he was no good at coming up with that kind of thing, that was Azula's area of expertise.
He groaned and shook his head again, an unpleasant tingle at the bottom of his stomach tormenting him with every new thought that solidified in his head. Would they get over this? Could Azula simply accept his past and understand he didn't want anyone other than her? He doubted it. From now on she'd be doubting him every single time a girl spoke to him, surely, and he'd spend his entire life trying to prove to her that he was only ever hers. That his heart, battered and weak and mostly quite broken, only answered to her.
He had always known he was unworthy of her, had said so millions of times: what had she understood when he'd claimed as much? Did she think he only said it because of the vast distance between them, on a social standpoint? Did she think it was because of the times he'd hurt her, which she had forgiven him for by now? No, he'd said it because it was true: because he could still hurt her in the future and he was terrified to his core of doing so. He didn't want to do it ever again. The sole thought of pushing her to tears was enough to make him feel unworthy of being her partner in any sense altogether.
She had discovered more of his scars in the Northern Air Temple, but she would have been wrong to assume that was the full extent of what Sokka hid. There were enough things about his childhood that he hadn't disclosed, things he hadn't come to terms with even now, including his mother's death, his father's absence during some of the harshest years of Sokka's life in the Water Tribe, and then the discovery of certain truths about an old friend of his that he wished he'd never known of… he had kept all that from Azula, too. And he supposed she kept several matters of her past to herself too, unwilling to disclose them to him, whether because she didn't know how to share them with him or because she would rather be at a better place, mentally, to speak about it all. It was why he'd kept things to himself so far, after all.
And keeping his experiences in the Amateur League to himself had also been an exercise at allowing himself a chance to breathe. He had been through hell during those two years until Azula had found him and granted him a life he had never dared dream of. He had clung to it desperately, allowing it to envelop him so tightly that he had forced himself to forget about the Amateur League until he met his former Hui Yi acquaintance in the Royal Dome. The unpleasant memories had returned then, and Azula again had helped him cope with it all…
But she wouldn't forgive him for this. Sokka gritted his teeth and paced more, stopping at the wall and striking his head against it. Was it worse that he'd done what he had with those women than what he'd done to all the other gladiators? In Azula's eyes, no doubt it was. Sokka also had no doubts as to why she was so affronted and indignant: had he been with well-groomed women, from good backgrounds, she wouldn't have been that disgusted. But of all things, prostitutes… the idea surely made her want to retch. Sokka couldn't blame her for being overwhelmed, since it had been a lot of information to digest so fast…
But he could be indignant too by her reaction, and that he was. She had stormed out before he could tell her the full truth, and surely now she would be stemming in her anger, making up her mind not to ever speak to Sokka again. He guessed it was for the best to keep some distance right now, since he'd probably only say stupid things if he could see her now, irate as he was, but he dreaded that staying away from Azula for too long would only result in this particular rift growing larger, to the point where it could sever their relationship altogether.
He hissed, knowing that was the last thing he wanted. But could he avoid it? Could he make Azula listen to him for once?
When he heard a knock on the door he turned with terrified but also hopeful eyes. Had she returned? Was she trying not to overthink things, and instead had realized they could only resolve this together…?
"I'll get it," said Song, standing up from the couch.
Song had left the house as soon as the Princess had arrived in the morning, fully certain that she didn't want to be around for whatever she and Sokka got up to. When she returned, though, ready to fetch her ear plugs, she found Sokka grumbling and walking in circles in the living room, his lover nowhere to be found. Song had been confused, but Sokka had proceeded to explain they'd had another argument, to no surprise of Song's. She thought they made a good couple, no doubt, but she was also quite aware of the fact that they were insanely conflictive. They hadn't argued at all since returning from the Northern Air Temple, at least not aside from whatever had happened since Sokka's last gladiator fight, but she knew their cordiality couldn't last forever.
Sokka hadn't explained what the fight had been about, but it was apparent it was something big, Song thought. Normally he'd be a miserable weeping mess, depressed over having done something stupid she'd never forgive him for, but this time around he was mad, even. He was angry enough that he couldn't stop pacing or grumbling under his breath about how she hadn't given him a chance to explain himself. So, if the new arrival really was the Princess, Song had half a mind to slip out of the door right after she came inside…
But truth be told, Song doubted it'd be her. Azula would always arrive on her dragon's back these days, and she seldom used the front door. So, could this possibly be her…?
She opened the door to find a Royal Guard. Clearly, her doubts had been spot-on.
Sokka's eyes fell as Rui Shi entered the house, smiling and nodding as Song welcomed him inside. Rui Shi removed his helmet, showing Song his grin, but when he glanced at the living room, he found Sokka wasn't quite as happy to see him as Song was.
The very sight of the gladiator, dressed and grouchy, standing in the living room, took Rui Shi by surprise. He raised an eyebrow as Sokka swallowed hard.
"Now that's odd. What's the matter with you?" he asked. "Where's the Princess?"
"As a matter of fact, we don't know," said Song. "We thought she'd be back in the Palace by now. See, she and Sokka had a bit of a fight and…"
Sokka had never felt such a mighty urge to punch a wall as when he saw Rui Shi positively beaming upon the news. He looked at Song with amazement, to Sokka's irritation.
"Is that so?" he asked. "My, my. Now that's a surprise."
"You know, you could pretend to be bothered by it, at least," said Sokka. "Azula was rather upset when she stormed out, doesn't that worry you in the slightest?"
"Oh, surely, if it means this relationship has reached its timely demise then I suppose she'll be upset indeed…" said Rui Shi, smiling. "Granted, it'll take some time for her to be over it, but still…"
"Y-you know?! That's awfully cruel coming from you!" Sokka snapped, blushing as he looked at Rui Shi with indignation. "That we might break up doesn't mean any of what we already did can be taken back!"
"Which is a pity," said Rui Shi, sighing. "If only that could be the case. But never fret, I'll simply see to it that the Princess weds a man too foolish or too drunk to tell she's been soiled by you."
"What the…?! Soiled?! Are you kidding me…?!" Sokka grunted, gritting his teeth.
Yet for all he knew, that was exactly what Azula would be thinking of their relationship by now. After what he had confessed today that was exactly how she'd feel: soiled. He gritted his teeth. Whatever he said wouldn't matter, let alone would it matter that his encounters with women had happened long ago, when they barely knew each other, when she had as good as forgotten he existed while all he did every night was dream of defeating her. The entire situation felt a thousand years away to Sokka, but to Azula it had been as good as a stab on the back, despite that hadn't been his intent at all. Had he been supposed to share all about his intimate encounters with her before they became intimate too? Probably. But if he had she probably would have been just as indignant as she was now, if not more so, and she would have never given him a chance to be with her at all.
The more he thought about it, the more he realized he should have spoken earlier indeed. Maybe if he had, and he had sacrificed his last chance with her, she would have been so mad that their possibilities would have gone up in smoke indeed. He would have avoided leading her into making a mistake that would change her life forever. He could have spared Rui Shi's life too, along with that of the rest of Azula's guards, and none of them would live with impending doom dangling over their heads if someone ever discovered Azula had lain with him.
The more he thought of this, the more selfish he felt, and the more disgusted he grew with himself. He had never been meant to reach her and he'd always known it. He shouldn't have defied destiny as he had, let alone should he have convinced her that it was a good idea to do so. For, with every new discovery she made about him, the more she realized how broken and messed-up he really was. How was he worthy of her? In what world was he fit for the Princess?
And the way Rui Shi had spoken of their spat, as though it were something final… he clenched his fists as he wondered if it was. Would Azula ever forgive him? Unlikely. Would she take him back, and then proceed to monitor his life as closely as possible, to make sure he wouldn't betray her, as though he couldn't control his urges? The thoughts made him sick to the stomach: there probably was no bouncing back from this falling out. Not as far as he could tell, at least.
But he knew well enough that he owed her the full truth. If this was going to end their wonderful run as lovers, she might as well understand the circumstances under which he'd endured what he had. His first two years in the Fire Nation had been a living hell, and he had the feeling she didn't understand just how bad they really had been…
He shook his head and stormed upstairs. Rui Shi followed him with his gaze, wondering if perhaps he'd gone too far with his teasing. He hadn't expected the gladiator to be this susceptible.
"Alright, so was it really that bad a fight?" he asked, raising his eyebrow. "I thought it'd be one of the usual kind…"
"Eh? I don't really know," said Song, shrugging. "Sokka's usually not this worked up about their arguments, but this one seemed kind of serious, for once? I mean, I don't really know, they were all done fighting when I came home, but…"
"Did he tell you why they argued?"
"Nope, not at all," said Song. "But I do wonder why it would send the Princess into such a frenzy…"
"That's not so hard to achieve, at least not for him," said Rui Shi. "He gets under her skin with more ease than most people. She can be level-headed with everyone else, take control of every situation, but somehow it seldom happens when she's dealing with him. I hate to admit it, but… he's the only person she regards or treats as an equal."
Song swallowed hard and eyed Rui Shi warily. She'd thought the same things, on occasion, and knowing Rui Shi saw the Princess and the gladiator's relationship just as she did would have been nice in any other situation… it wasn't quite so pleasant now, when it sounded like the powerful bond between them could be broken beyond repair. She bit her lip, approaching the staircase.
"Well, since you know she's not here I guess you can go home and talk to her, maybe?" she said. "I'll take care of Sokka and see that…"
"That he doesn't do anything stupid?" said Rui Shi, raising an eyebrow. "Uh, well, I'd… I'd rather not."
"Not what?" said Song. "Not talk to her? Not have me watch Sokka…?"
"If the Princess is as indignant as Sokka, it's probably safest not to cross her path for now," he said. "So I'll, uh, stay here with you and make sure Sokka doesn't get the crazy idea to run to the Palace in the middle of the night or so. It's a good idea, isn't it?"
"U-uh… sure?" said Song, blushing a little. She wasn't stupid, she knew well enough that Rui Shi had been taking advantages of most opportunities he'd found to spend more time than necessary at Sokka's house. And she had a pretty good idea as to why, despite she wasn't about to admit it aloud… "But I'm still going to check on Sokka quickly, if you don't mind. Sit down, I'll be back shortly!"
Rui Shi nodded and smiled before moving to sit at the couch. Song tried to focus on the situation at hand, difficult as it might be when her mind kept drifting towards the Captain and the possible reasons behind his gentle smiles: she shook her head, as though to shake off such thoughts, and she climbed the stairs quickly, pushing Sokka's door open once she reached it.
"Hey, Sok-…" she started, just as she heard Sokka's unequivocal yelp of panic.
She blinked a few times and looked inside, finding he was standing awkwardly next to his bed, his eyes wide, his entire body clad in a uniform not unlike Rui Shi's, a helmet with its white mask sitting on the mattress. Song's eyes widened.
"Sokka?" she asked, as he shushed her with a finger over his mouth.
"Close the door. Get in here fast," he said, ushering her to approach him with a wave of his hand.
Song gulped and did as she was told, still regarding Sokka warily. He ought to be explaining his apparent ownership of a soldier's uniform, but it didn't even cross his mind to do so.
"I've got to figure out if there's still a relationship to be mad about, or if I'm already supposed to be at the grieving stage," he growled. "So, I'm going to the Palace and…"
"But… you can't do that!" said Song. "Rui Shi is saying he'll stay here to make sure you don't do anything dumb like what you're saying you're going to do!"
"Uuuuh… okay, that's a problem," said Sokka, grimacing. "No chance you can make him leave?"
"I doubt it!" Song exclaimed. "I really don't think this is a good idea, Sokka. How about you call it a day and…?"
"Nope. Can't do that," he said, shaking his head. "I have to do this now, before the wound festers beyond helping. If I expect to save this relationship to some degree, I need to do it now. So… I'll climb out the balcony and slip through the back, and then make a run for the street while being careful, so that Rui Shi doesn't spot me!"
"What the…?! Sokka!" said Song, blushing and frowning. "And what on earth am I supposed to do in the meantime? What if he realizes you're gone and…?"
"Well, that's what you'll be doing indeed," said Sokka. "You'll keep him distracted, and let's be honest here, you can absolutely do that! Have him help you cook, I don't know, do something fun and he'll probably forget why he was here altogether!"
"But if you don't make a single sound for hours and… and if you don't come down to eat, too?! He'll see something's wrong!"
"You can say I'm too depressed to leave my room," said Sokka. "Carry a tray to my room with food for me, and tell him I refuse to go downstairs. It's not that hard!"
"Maybe not, but… oh, spirits, Sokka, why must you do this to me?" she said, blushing deeply. "This is going to be so awkward!"
"It can work! Come on, Song, do this and I'll, uh, I'll…"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, you'll buy me something wonderful with the winnings from your next fight. Sure," said Song, rolling her eyes. "It better be something really wonderful, you hear me? Like a whole house of my own where I won't have to worry about you and your crazy fluctuating love life!"
"Yeah, it is pretty unstable, isn't it?" said Sokka, gulping. "Oh, well. I'll try to do something like that, alright? But for now…!"
"Wait, I wasn't serious, I was just trying to… oh, damn it Sokka, please reconsider," she said, as he put the helmet on his head.
"I'll try to be back before midnight. I will be, likely, if the worst-case scenario unfolds…"
"Eh, the worst-case scenario is that she kills you and then you won't be coming back at all," said Song. Sokka smiled.
"A risk I'm willing to take. Good luck with Rui Shi!" he exclaimed, making his way to his room's balcony.
Song gritted her teeth as she watched him climb out of it with difficulty and attempted stealth. How did he hope to keep Rui Shi from noticing him? She didn't know and wasn't sure she wanted to. The Captain of Azula's guards would catch him, and then it wouldn't be Azula who would kill Sokka, but rather, it'd be Rui Shi…
Regardless of her apprehension, she went downstairs and asked Rui Shi to help her prepare dinner, hoping their conversation would allow Sokka to run off to the Palace as planned. She had no way of making sure it'd work, but she did her best regardless.
In due time, Sokka was running through the city, after having jumped as stealthily as he could out of the balcony and into his house's backyard. He kept his pace steady and his head held high, as determination burned in his eyes. He wasn't going down without a fight, even if he meant to respect whatever resulted from this new conflict. But he would see to it that Azula would hear the full truth, so that she would judge by her own hand whether their relationship was fated to last or not.
A/N:
So… I'll try to appeal to a few of you who might have thought this was the last straw, in a bid for a bit of patience. The next chapter will explain Sokka's past, and you'll see the situation was far more complicated in Hui Yi than it may have looked like.
Got to say I did imply this ages ago, as far back as chapter 3, but from what I've gathered, not a lot of people picked up on it. Still, whether you want Sokka's head on a platter or you want to smack Azula for overreacting, the next chapter should, hopefully, appease you.
Now, this author note wasn't really about that, but instead about my current situation: I'm doing a bit better financially these days, some of you may have seen my desperate Tumblr post of a few weeks ago, and while not everything's 100% fine now, at least we're on our way now. Nevertheless, I wanted to make an author's note to announce to you guys (the likely majority who doesn't frequent my Tumblr) that I have a P / A / T / R / E / O / N account now, and I'm taking commissions too, be it for artwork or fics (if you've seen my new story, the Love Adviser, that was a commission). The rates for each art piece or fic are to be found on my Deviantart page, if you're interested in anything.
As for P / A / T / R / E / O / N, my account there basically will feature extra content from Gladiator or perhaps even a few small fics that I've never published elsewhere. I'm not demanding for your money, Gladiator will continue to be published as it has been so far, so don't misunderstand: I'm NOT charging for my fics. I've merely opened that account in the face of the economic chaos my country is going through (look up Venezuela on the news and you might understand), and in the face of the many readers who had voiced interest in paying for my work before. Again, this isn't really PAYING for Gladiator, it's simply a contribution to help me get by and, if I'm lucky, move out of here one day.
Of course, if you'd rather not make a P / A / T / R / E / O / N pledge or commission anything from me, that's fine too, I understand both not being interested/not having the means to afford it, none of you owe me anything. But in the off case that anyone is interested in this, contact me through PMs and we'll settle everything there. Have a good day.