She needed to move.
She needed to move.
She couldn't linger where was, lying on the ground, waiting for the effects of the toxins to recede while madness took place too far from her eyes to see. She groaned, almost shrieked in blind rage, but she couldn't seem to shift in any way: only her face, her head, still had some semblance of mobility. Everything else was paralyzed, completely rigid, her body as solid, heavy and unyielding as a rock deeply encased in the ground.
She could hear their voices, though… she could hear echoes, rumors, through the trees: she knew they were still nearby. Sokka was down there, with them: she hadn't heard any piercing screams in Sokka's voice, cutting across the night after being harmed somehow by the enemy's forces, so she wanted to hope, to think, that they hadn't hurt him… but what if they were trying to drag him away? What if the one who was to become a captive this time was him?
Her stomach twisted so painfully at that thought, and her mind started to spin. She couldn't fathom it: Sokka couldn't be taken from her side. They belonged together, they would stay together forever… wouldn't they? Wasn't that what they had promised each other that very same day, at the top of that volcano?
Rage, despair and anxiety built up and boiled within her… and somehow it seemed that wild blend of emotions gave some strength to the fingertips of her left hand. She cried out as tingling feelings started to surge through her limb: the toxins were losing their power over her arm. She knew it was a good sign. If her arm was waking, the rest of her body would follow. She only hoped it wouldn't be too late to help Sokka by then…
The voices in the forest seemed to dwindle. She flinched, the tingling shifting from uncomfortable to painful now, even though she was able to move her arm ever so slightly now…
"P-Princess…" she heard Rui Shi call her, several feet away from where she lay. Unlike her, he had fallen face-up, and he was watching her move through the corner of his eyes. "Princess…"
She didn't answer him, only spared him a quick glance to make sure he wasn't injured in any worse ways than the obvious one. His body looked unharmed, no blood anywhere. His clothes were somewhat torn, but other than that, it seemed the paralysis was the only problem he had. She could come back to him once she had helped Sokka…
So, with all the pain rushing up and down her arm, Azula stretched out her hand and dragged herself over the road with difficulty. Her arm still hurt, the rest of her body was starting to feel the unpleasant worming now too, but she couldn't stop. She needed to get to him. He needed her. She had to reach him… she had to protect him. It didn't matter the cost, she had to do it…
She screamed again as the worming in her body stabbed at her repeatedly as small, multiple knives would. Tears built up on her eyes, but she held them back, snarling and ushering herself to carry on. Her fingertips dug into dirt, small rocks caught between the nails and the flesh, and she cringed at this new source of pain, but she carried on despite it. The small stones on the road were another problematic obstacle, but she had to drag herself over them. They might scratch her skin and clothes, but she needed to bear with the discomfort.
By the time she reached the slope she could already move her knees to an extent. But just as she was using them to push herself harder, faster, she heard that deafening, savage roar she had heard just moments earlier.
Nyla.
"No…" she said, her eyes wide. "No, Sokka…!"
She hadn't needed the last bit of motivation the roar had given her, for she had been determined to throw herself down that slope before hearing it, but it offered her further strength to push forward regardless. Horror pooled in her stomach, but if those toxins hadn't paralyzed her for long, neither would the fear. The dread somehow only encouraged her to push herself harder yet.
She rolled down the slope painfully, over loose roots, rocks, even upright trees and vegetation. She took more blows than she expected as she crashed against all the obstacles in her path, until at last she reached level grounds that broke her fall.
She took a moment to figure out her bearings, faint and confused as she was. She pushed herself up with some difficulty, her right arm still numb…
And that was when she saw them.
Nyla was groaning in pain, lying to the side, her long tongue out of her mouth: her only movement was that of her breathing. She was so large it was hard to notice Sokka at first, for her shape seemed to blend into his, and the moonlight mostly reflected off her body.
That very moonlight betrayed that the massive talons on her front right paw were covered in a dark substance that could only be blood.
Blood.
Azula felt her entire body growing cold as she finally took in his limp figure, lying not too far from where Nyla was. He was coughing, shaking, his body shuddering with each desperate breath he took. There was something pooling beneath him, and it only grew larger as Azula watched him in chagrin.
Blood.
The blood was Sokka's.
Nyla's claws had torn through his abdomen, and he was bleeding to death.
Azula shuddered and shook her head, dragging herself with difficulty towards him. She didn't register that her lips were moving on their own accord, that she was whispering a word with a thread of a voice:
"No… no, no… no…" she gasped, as she dragged herself closer to him, her right arm still numb.
Sokka coughed and turned his head ever so slightly. His blue eyes, as beautiful as they always had been, were unfocused, and it was clear he could barely see her. Azula stopped right next to him, breathing heavily as tears started to pour down her cheeks.
"No… no, Sokka, what…?" she said, her knees drenched now with his blood. He coughed again and, to her chagrin, he smiled.
"Eh… y-you're okay…" he said, with the weakest voice she had ever heard from him.
Her breath seemed to fail her, even though she was inhaling lots of air desperately, hyperventilating at the sight of him in such dreadful shape.
"Sokka, no, please," she said, her hands going to his torn abdomen shakily, the sight of his bleeding injuries sending her into a panicked frenzy. "No, no, why…?! Why did this…?!"
"J-Jeong Jeong…" Sokka grunted, coughing after finishing his name. "B-bastard, he… he was after me…"
"I know, I… I realized it, but it was too late, and I…" Azula gasped, looking at his face now. Blood trickled down his cheek too. He groaned. "What am I…? What do I do? Sokka…"
"I… I don't know, heh… is it as bad as it feels? Because… it really doesn't feel like anything, heh…" he said, with a small cough again. "Don't feel m'legs…"
"Sokka, you… you should stop talking. You have to save your strength, you have to…!"
She dared touch the deep gashes, but he flinched. She jerked her hands away immediately, unwilling to cause him further harm.
"I need… I need to stop the bleeding, Sokka…" she said. He grimaced.
"Not sure… how to do that," he said. "Didn't she… split me in half?"
"No, no, you're…! You're going to be fine," Azula started saying, mindlessly. She didn't know if he would be, but she knew she needed him to be. She just needed him to be. "You've… you've faced worse odds, haven't you? I mean…"
"Have… have I?" Sokka asked, with a weak but disbelieving smile. "I… I can't remember anything this bad…"
"Y-you'll get through this, you…" she said, inching closer to him.
Her hand touched his cheek, but she jerked it away when she realized she was spreading more blood over his face – enough of it was already leaking down his left cheek. Sokka smiled, though, and his eyes finally seemed to find her.
"Hey… you're… you're beautiful…" he whispered. Azula gritted her teeth.
"Beautiful, really?" she asked. "You're… you're seeing things, because right now I must look…"
"Beautiful," Sokka said, swallowing hard though his throat was dry. "Beautiful… but sad. You… you know, I always hate it when you cry…"
"Ah, s-so what, am I not supposed to?" Azula asked, looking at him in disbelief. "Sokka, you're…!"
She could not utter the last word, and more tears flooded her eyes. This wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. Sokka wasn't dying. He wasn't dying, he wasn't…
But the blood leaking through those cuts spoke for itself. The injuries said everything that needed to be said about his condition, and although Sokka couldn't see them, couldn't feel them, he knew what the numbing of his body meant. He knew what Azula's tears meant, too. He knew it just as well as she did.
Azula shook her head, refusing to believe it even as she saw it, as she tried to close the gashes with her trembling hands. Sokka cringed again but she didn't pull away this time. She couldn't let him die… she couldn't. She had been talking about a future with him just hours ago, on that blasted volcano. She had heard him say one night ago that she would always have his love… she couldn't let him die. She couldn't. What about the three children they were supposed to have? What about their wedding? What about every hope she had about growing old by his side, of living with him for the rest of her life…?
She couldn't live on without him. There was no doubt about it. She couldn't let him die here, not tonight. But how was she supposed to avoid it? How was she supposed to keep him alive…?
"It's… a clear night…" Sokka said, biting his lip. "Kinda… cold, though… really cold."
"It's… it's okay. I can…" Azula said, swallowing hard and lifting one of her hands. Despite her best efforts, she was achieving nothing by trying to force his wounds to close.
A small, shaky plum of blue fire danced on her hand. Sokka huffed in mild relief, maybe by the warmth, maybe by the light: at least he could still perceive them, but for how long would he? When would he lose consciousness to the point of failing to sense warmth, or feel her right there next to him, crying violently as she stared at his limp form in panic?
"Thanks… that's… that's nice," he said, smiling. "I… I did always like your blue fire…"
"Y-you did. You do, right…?" Azula said. Sokka chuckled.
"It's… the best fire there is…" he whispered. "Always was so beautiful…"
"Sokka…" Azula gasped, her lips trembling as she spoke: the fire flickered under the intensity of her tears, weakened by her lack of control. She was losing him. She was losing him…
"H-hey…" he said, swallowing dryly again. "I… I love you. You know that, right?"
"Of course I do. Of course I…" she said, her lower lip trembling harder now. "I love you too, Sokka. I… I love you. I…"
"Y-you do…?" he said, smiling a little. "G-good… then… marry me?"
Azula shook with the strongest sob so far. Sokka was smiling sadly, his eyes closed now. What did he ask that damn question for? Why, when he knew…?
He knew he was dying. He just wanted to hear her say yes once, at least once, before he could never hear her voice again.
The realization was as painful as it was persuasive. There was only one answer she could utter right now:
"Yes," she sobbed, her voice cracking as his often did when he was shaken up. "I… I'll marry you. I'll marry you a million times over, a million times again! I…!"
"You… you will?" Sokka asked, his smile growing as genuine as it could under the circumstances. "You… you said yes. You said… heh. T-then we… we have to get married in the Water Tribe, okay? M-my dad, he… he'll want to see it, I'm sure, and…"
"Yes. We can do that, of course," said Azula, smiling through her tears despite it all. "We can… we can do whatever you want, cut our hands open, what your people do…"
"T-that's nice… then… we'll have three kids?" Sokka asked.
"I'll give you a thousand… if you want them," she said, sniffing. She could barely see him through the film thick of tears on her eyes right now. "I'll give you… every single one you want…"
"And… what about a pet?" he said. "Xin Long's not a pet, says you, so… w-we need something like a… a tiger-seal, right?"
"Huh? D-didn't one of those… eat your pants or something?" Azula asked, with a soft, nervous laugh. Sokka chuckled softly, the sound a mere puff in his voice.
"That… that will make the kids laugh, don't you think?"
She laughed again, and the light around them shifted in color.
The fire, weak as it had been, grew stronger when fueled by a very different emotion… an emotion that made it glow gold. An emotion that made it sparkle powerfully.
One of those sparks jumped out of her hand, falling on his abdomen: despite he had been lying there with eyes closed, Sokka suddenly gasped for breath, his eyes wide. Azula jumped.
"I'm sorry!" she said, the fire turning blue again. "I-I'm sorry, Sokka, you…!"
She looked at the spot where the spark had fallen. It was on the lightest of the gashes… and the skin it had landed between somehow seemed to shift: it wasn't fully mended, but it had burned him just enough to slow some of the blood's leaking. Azula's eyes widened with the power of the obvious, only idea she'd had so far.
"S-Sokka…" she said, her lips still trembling as she looked at him with uncertainty. "Sokka, please, j-just…"
"W-what…?" he asked, swallowing again.
"Stay… stay put," she said, gritting her teeth. "This will hurt. B-but… I have to try."
"T-try…?" Sokka asked. "Azula…"
"I'm sorry," she said, closing her eyes tightly. "I… I can't let you die, n-not like this, n-not now. We… we have so much to do. Sokka…"
"You're… you're amazing, Azula. You can… you can still do all those things even if I… if I'm not there…" Sokka muttered, clenching his teeth.
"Maybe…" she said, looking at him regretfully. "But I won't want to."
"Az-…" he gasped, as she breathed deeply to steel herself.
"I love you," she said. "I love you so much, damn it all, I…"
She was still crying as the flame in her hand shifted from blue to gold. Determination and despair gleamed in equal parts in her eyes…
And she pressed the fire to his skin.
Sokka screamed.
Azula didn't stop, though, even if her heart begged her not to put him through further pain. He probably couldn't handle the pain, he would still be too weak no matter what she did, he had lost too much blood, and the fire might fail to cauterize those wounds properly… but she couldn't let him die without fighting back. She'd never forgive herself if this failed… but she'd never forgive herself if she didn't do anything, either.
So, she held her ground, burning his wounds closed through her fire, even as Sokka writhed violently beneath her. He was too weak to pull away, but not weak enough not to feel anything, despite what he had said before. His body was no doubt overloaded with the worst possible sensations… but he was unable to stop it. The fire, the bleeding, the agony was constant either way and he couldn't do anything about it other than wait for Azula to stop…
And she did, at last.
She withdrew her hands, and to her disbelief, she had succeeded at closing every gash. His skin was red and hot where she had touched him with the gold flames, but the bleeding had ceased… at least, on the outside. Azula was still terrified regarding what could be happening within his body…
She looked at him fearfully, and Sokka breathed heavily, as though he had just surfaced in deep waters to fill his lungs with clear air once more. He opened his eyes, but his gaze resembled Toph's: it was lost, as though he couldn't discern any shapes whatsoever…
"Sokka, I'm here, I… I closed the wounds," Azula said, moving closer to him and holding his face between her bloody hands. "Sokka… please…"
"T-that hurt…" he said, cringing. She allowed a couple more tears to fall from her eyes, dropping on his face.
"I know, but… but the alternative was worse, I think. I hope. I… I don't know anything anymore, Sokka, I…" she said, shaking with every sob.
What now? What was she supposed to do? Could she move him? She had to, but she needed help. For once in her life, she had no choice, no alternative, but to admit that she needed help. She couldn't handle this by herself.
"S-Sokka, I…" she repeated, swallowing hard and steeling herself to speak clearly… but fortunately, she didn't need to make more efforts to find help, for it came to her willingly.
"Princess! Princess!"
Rui Shi's paralysis was over. She turned, desperate, wiping her tearful eyes with her forearm hastily to see him approach through her still-blurry gaze. She didn't miss the way the concern in his face shifted into utter horror as well as he looked at the blood all over her hands and clothes, and at Sokka lying down before her, breathing with difficulty.
"H-help… help me, Rui Shi…" she said, the fear in her voice and eyes clear for him to see too.
He shook his head to snap himself out of his shock before kneeling next to her. The burns on Sokka's stomach, along with the charred, torn clothes were confusing, but they somewhat explained wordlessly where all the blood had come from…
"Sokka, we're going to lift you now," Rui Shi said. Sokka grimaced. "We need to get you somewhere safe. Please, just… hold on, alright?"
"I… I'll try…" he gasped, and he cringed when Rui Shi lifted his shoulders a little.
"I'll need you to lift his legs, Princess," said Rui Shi, looking at her imploringly. "I found a less complicated path that led me here, it's only a little further away, we can get back to the road and… and the village can't be far. We'll…"
"W-we'll get the town doctor. We need to, he needs…" Azula said, shaking even as she obeyed Rui Shi. Rui Shi nodded.
"We'll do that when we get there," he agreed, and together they lifted Sokka with some difficulty.
The gladiator gasped and groaned: the burns on his stomach grew more painful by the minute. He was no longer losing blood, but his body finally seemed to be reacting again to the intense pain. Every step Azula and Rui Shi took with him in their arms was sheer agony for him: he didn't want them to move anymore. He wanted to stay put, because each movement just made the pain explode in wild bursts again…
"You'll be fine, Sokka, you… j-just wait, you'll…" Azula said, gritting her teeth as they climbed up to the road again. Her footing almost receded, but she caught herself every time she was close to faltering.
"It hurts…" he said, before coughing again, his face contorted with agony.
"You'll make it, you… you have to. You're always saying you're not that easy to kill, right? T-that… that we won't get rid of you that easily?" Azula asked. Sokka coughed and groaned. "Just stay with us, please…"
Her pleading made Rui Shi grimace. He had never heard her speak this way, never seen her as emotionally drained and destroyed, despite he had found her once, crying, because of the very same man they were carrying away now… he made a mental note to scold Sokka once he was better: he couldn't keep making the Princess cry this way, especially not now that they were involved.
The walk to the village seemed to take an eternity, with Sokka gasping and cringing all the time. But in due time, lights were in sight. Azula almost cried out in relief, but instead of wasting her breath that way, she used it to shout for a better cause:
"HELP! HELP!"
Rui Shi joined in with her soon, and the few people still awake in the village glanced out their windows to find out what the ruckus was. Even the ones who were going to bed had jumped out of their mattresses, confused by the uncharacteristic shouting in their usually peaceful village.
"We need a doctor!" Rui Shi shouted. "A physician?! Anyone!"
It wasn't long before a middle-aged woman gave them the directions them towards a small but cozy house. The physician had been roused by their shouts too, and Azula and Rui Shi entered the house as soon as he opened the door.
"What…? What is this?" the man with graying hair asked: he was a few years older than the woman who had directed them to his home.
"He was attacked," Azula explained, breathing heavily and trembling as she spoke. "H-he lost blood, a lot of it, he was… i-it was a beast, a shirshu, it… it had these claws, I cauterized the wounds with fire b-but I don't know if… I-I don't know if that's enough, I…"
"It's alright, young lady. We'll take care of him now," said the doctor, frowning as his wife showed up too at the house's staircase, wearing her sleeping clothes.
The doctor asked Azula and Rui Shi to carry Sokka into an available room in his house, but after that he ordered them to leave him with Sokka and with his wife, who seemed to be a healer in her own right. Azula was unwilling to do so, clasping Sokka's hand somewhat desperately before Rui Shi led her away.
"W-what's he going to…? What's going to happen? I… I should be there, I…" she said, as Rui Shi surrounded her shoulders with an arm and guided her to the small house's sitting room.
"You did your best. You… you probably saved his life, so now you can only wait patiently for them to do their part," said Rui Shi, releasing her and hoping she might take a seat in the room's couch, but the idea didn't seem to even cross her mind as she continued to stand tensely in front of him. "He'll… he'll make it. I'm sure he will. He has to…"
"H-he does, doesn't he?" Azula said, with a nervous, almost hysterical smile. "H-he… he promised things and… and he has to make them happen, right? He… he can't just…"
She felt the tears building up again, and she instinctively raised a hand to wipe her eyes… a hand covered in Sokka's blood.
She found herself staring at her hands in disbelief, the tears streaming freely down her face as she lost whatever strength she'd had left. Rui Shi grimaced but approached her, surrounding her in his arms and allowing her to cry on his chest as she stood there, in a deeper shock than she could process as she was. She couldn't stop staring at her hands, staring at the blood, the image of his body bleeding out deeply engraved into her very soul.
"H-he… he was dying. He was…" she gasped, through the sobs. "I can't… I can't let him, he… h-he's supposed to… him and me, we're supposed to…"
"Yeah…" said Rui Shi, gritting his teeth and holding her close. "Yes, you are. The two of you, you're… you're going to be together. And you'll keep pissing me off, for sure. You'll kiss in front of me, behind my back, however you want, I know it. You'll… you'll never be apart. Not again. Don't worry…"
"I… I almost lost him…" she cried, clutching at Rui Shi's clothes now. "R-Rui Shi, I… I almost…"
Rui Shi wanted to encourage her, remind her that she had a life outside of him, responsibilities, a future and a destiny to achieve, that she was stronger than anyone he knew and that she could get through this, regardless of the outcome… but he realized, naturally, that those weren't the words she needed to hear now. She was shaken, she was distraught… she was broken. The sight of the one man she had given her heart to, bleeding to his apparent death, had hurt her in ways he could hardly fathom. All he could do was hold her, feeling her tears drenching his shirt, and pray to every spirit and god that might exist for Sokka's recovery. Rui Shi didn't want to lose a friend, but most importantly, he didn't want the Princess to lose the love of her life.
And so, he held her, letting her release her grief even if he knew his support wouldn't suffice. This matter was going to haunt the Princess for a long time, regardless of whether Sokka lived or died.
He managed to convince her to sit down after around ten minutes of crying. She did as she was told, but she couldn't stop shaking. Rui Shi's arm was still around her shoulders, and whenever she stopped crying for brief moments, she took no time to break down again. Rui Shi could barely fathom looking at her, and soon enough he had the suspicion that the sight of her blood-drenched hands kept triggering her crying bouts.
"Princess… come," he resolved, at last. "Come, we have to… we have to clean you up."
He led her outside, where they found a water pump. He took care to wash her hands in the middle of the night, and the coldness of the liquid made her trembling grow more intense. Red faded away from her hands and forearms, though it continued to stain her clothes. Hopefully the doctor, or anyone else in town, would be able to offer a change of clothes for the Princess…
Rui Shi's initiative helped to keep Azula's crying to a minimum, but even though he sank in his chair again, feeling defeated by exhaustion after a while, the same couldn't be said for her. Her heart was racing, and she couldn't stop breathing agitatedly. Her eyes were wide, and she didn't even dare close them. Her body probably was sending her signs to let her know she needed to rest, but she didn't listen. She couldn't feel anything but despair, her mind in disarray as all the worst thoughts crossed her mind, filling her with worries and fears she didn't know how to fight against.
Rui Shi wasn't the only one who could see Azula's grief quite clearly: Xin Long felt it more closely, far more intimately, than the guard could. As the battle and chaos in the Stronghold had stopped since at least half a day earlier, the dragon had naturally turned to see what was happening with his rider.
It took Azula's entire willpower to tell Xin Long not to come find them yet, and to wait for her to give him a sign. She didn't think Jeong Jeong would still be watching, but she couldn't be sure. She couldn't be sure of anything. If his men followed her dragon to this village, and discovered that Sokka was still fighting for his life…
She couldn't fathom it. She couldn't let it happen. Even if it was a risk to stay here for too long as well, it was worse to guide Jeong Jeong right back to their position. So, although Xin Long was clearly worried and wanted to help, she had to ask him to wait. She would have to call him when the time was right.
It was almost two in the morning when the doctor and his wife returned. Azula jumped out of her seat, her racing heart seemingly speeding up further as they approached her. Rui Shi woke with a start and stood up as well, looking at Azula worriedly.
"Is he…?" she asked, swallowing hard. "Please, did you…?"
"Truth is… there wasn't a lot for us to do," said the doctor. Azula's heart sank. "We sought to treat the burns on his abdomen, but there's no immediate cure for that…"
"B-but he was… the cuts, they were deep, were they…? D-did he bleed internally or anything like that? Was the cauterization done right…?"
"Actually… well, there were no signs of internal bleeding," said the doctor. Azula's wide eyes were filled with relief upon hearing it. "And cauterization, well… it's a risky gamble, normally. But truth is, however you did it… it even seems to have mended his tissues to a degree, and not just blended the cuts together. I don't understand how that happened, but there wasn't much we could do other than tend superficially to his burns, and to the cut on his face."
"He's very, very weak though," said the doctor's wife, looking at Azula with concern. "How much blood did he lose? Because…"
"A lot," Azula said, through gritted teeth. "B-but… he's going to make it, right? H-he's going to…"
"I would hope so" said the doctor "We did everything we could, all of us. He needs to rest now, though. He's already fallen asleep, so we shouldn't bother him in the meantime…"
"C-can I…?" Azula said. "I just… I-I won't wake him, I just…"
"You'd like to see him," said the wife, smiling at her. "Well… that would be fine, I'm sure. Right?"
"Right," said the doctor, sighing. "I just… need a bit of rest now, too. Call me if he wakes up, or if you notice anything's not right, okay?"
Azula nodded and followed the doctor's wife through the corridor. She allowed her into the same room as earlier: it was mostly occupied by the bed, and tall shelves furnished with an assortment of medical goods, but Azula didn't take in the rest of the scenery, for her eyes went straight to Sokka's shape as he lay on a bed, his eyes closed, his mouth slightly open. The clothes of the top of his body had been discarded, but his abdomen was covered by bandages. The cut across his cheek had been treated as well, with a thick bandage of its own.
Azula trembled as she approached, making her way to his bedside and touching his face with her fingertips. She had seen him unconscious and wounded before, a very long time ago, and she had sat beside him as well, waiting for him to wake up… she had been shaken up back then and she had barely known him. She had cried, too, and at the time she hadn't understood why. Years had passed since then, but seeing him unconscious had only become a stronger torment than it already had been. She couldn't stand the sight of him like this, his chest hardly rising as he breathed, as though he were almost…
"Here…" said the doctor's wife, offering Azula a chair. The Princess nodded gratefully once she processed the gesture. "I'll find you clean clothes, if you'd like…"
"Thanks. I'll… I'll take you up on that," Azula said, swallowing hard as she sat beside Sokka.
She stretched a nervous hand over his body, setting it down on the left side of his chest.
The soft thumping under his skin soothed her concerns slightly: his heart was still beating. He was still drawing breath. He was weak, but he was still alive…
She breathed out slowly in relief, her sped-up heart finally slowing a little now that she had a way to ensure he was still with her. Her hostess left a set of clothes for Azula on another chair and left without another word. Azula merely stayed where she was, her hand on Sokka's chest to feel his heart's every beat.
The night went by, and morning came. The doctor and his wife were resting, as was Rui Shi, but Azula remained vigilant, sitting by Sokka's bedside, her head aching horribly, but she resisted the pain all the same. She needed to stay with him, and she couldn't let herself lose consciousness, not for a second…
After dawn had broken, a hand dropped on her shoulder. Azula flinched.
"Princess…" Rui Shi said, but he gritted his teeth and regretted his choice of word right away. Maybe they should keep their titles and names secret again, especially when Azula was behaving this way around Sokka.
"I know. I… I should rest, but I…" she said, swallowing hard.
"You should, but you should probably change out of those clothes, too," he said, moving towards the available change of clothes to hand them to Azula. "I'll stay here with him until you come back. I promise."
Azula sighed and nodded, muttering a small thank you. Rui Shi watched her leave, shaken up by how slow her movements were, how apprehensive she seemed.
She wasn't gone for long, but for her it was too long instead. She rushed back to the room almost in a frenzy, as though expecting Sokka to wake up just when she had stepped outside, but that hadn't happened. He still lay dormant, breathing weakly, with Rui Shi beside him.
"No changes," said Rui Shi. Azula sighed and nodded, returning to her seat. "But I have to say, I… I don't know if it's wise, it probably isn't, but… the beast, the shirshu, was it… dead?"
"I don't think so," said Azula, swallowing hard. "I think I saw she was breathing, but… why did she do it? How…?"
"I don't believe she did it as willingly as you might fear," said Rui Shi, biting his lip. "But I just… I thought I'd go find her so she can help me find her owner, in turn. I know you probably don't care much for the bounty hunter either, but…"
Azula's head turned towards him slowly, and she looked at him with uncertainty. Rui Shi was apprehensive at the confusing look on her face.
"I have no idea where she is, or what they might have done to her…" she said, with a thin voice. "H-hopefully they didn't…"
"Kill her?" Rui Shi finished. "It's what worries me, too. I thought I'd find her by using the shirshu, though. The saddle must have something of June's on it, I think. It could help me locate her, if the shirshu is willing…"
"Find a slab of meat to offer her or something," said Azula. "It's how June kept her in check, looks like. Be careful, Rui Shi. T-that shirshu is capable of… of great harm without her rider."
"If she's in bad hands, I'm sure," said Rui Shi, sighing. "I think the people here are trustworthy, but…"
"They must be. Jeong Jeong must think Sokka's dead after leaving him alone with a raging shirshu. His lot probably won't keep chasing us to make sure that he is," she whispered. "These people don't look to be his associates in any way, so… so we should be fine."
"I won't take long, I hope," said Rui Shi, looking at her apologetically. "Get some rest in the meantime, please. You'll need it."
"I… I'll try," Azula said, shrugging.
Rui Shi patted her back and made to leave. One last glance over his shoulder revealed that the Princess had reached out to clasp Sokka's hand with hers, her fingers stroking his lovingly, as though hoping for an instinctive response from him, at least. None came.
The Captain of Azula's Guards gritted his teeth and left the room, unable to watch more. He never enjoyed the displays of affection between his charge and her lover, of course he didn't… but this wasn't uncomfortable: it was painful. He had never seen Azula as broken and devastated as she was right now.
He told the doctor and his wife that he would be leaving shortly, just as they were getting ready to check on Sokka. They told him not to worry, to come back safely, and Rui Shi took off right away, stopping by a marketplace first to buy some meat, as Azula had recommended.
On his way to the shirshu's location, Rui Shi stopped by the wreckage of their old carriage to pick up Sokka's weapons, along with the luggage that hadn't been burned or broken in the middle of last night's violent scuffle. It seemed not many other travelers had been through this path once it was dark, as was natural, so nothing important had been stolen, from what Rui Shi could see.
After he was done gathering everything, he headed down to the clearing to find the wounded shirshu. He found Nyla half-awake, still lying down not far from where they had found Sokka, and she seemed to be in pain. He picked up Sokka's sword and club here, as he wondered how to tend to the beast's wounds. He hoped that, if June was safe and sound, she would know how to do it. But until they found her, he'd have to cross his fingers and hope Nyla would cooperate for the better.
Strangely, she seemed too defeated to react aggressively at him when he approached her. He made his way to her saddle as silently as possible, looking through it with uncertainty and hoping to find something that was undoubtedly June's… He frowned as he poked one of the saddle's pockets, finding a pair of worn fingerless leather gloves, probably a spare set the bounty hunter kept around in case she needed them. He pulled them out, walked cautiously towards Nyla's snout and he waved the glove in front of her nose.
Nyla groaned louder now, the scent of her owner eliciting an immediate reaction. Despite the pain in her jaw, Nyla forced herself to stand up with difficulty, and Rui Shi thanked her weakly before climbing on her saddle, bringing all the luggage and weapons with him.
They made their way into the forest slowly, but Nyla was still moving with all the strength she had left, hoping to find her rider and partner safe and sound somewhere in the depths of the Earth Kingdom's forests.
The doctor's name was Wang, his wife was Mei Liang. They had offered Azula some food, dry muffins and some cheese, and she had scarcely touched them. She had also been told that there were free beds in other rooms, in case she wanted to sleep, but she still didn't move from his bedside.
Even so, exhaustion defeated her despite she was doing her very best to stand against it. By midmorning, she had dropped her head on an empty space of the mattress, her hand still holding his.
Tired as she was, though, she was still alert. His hand twitched against hers and she heard a soft groan: she jumped immediately, sitting up to look at him. Sokka's brow was slightly furrowed, and his breathing was uneven. His mouth had opened, as he was trying to say something…
"A… Azula…?" he whispered. She gritted her teeth: he had yet to open his eyes, but had he recognized the touch of her hand?
"Sokka, I'm here, I…!" she exclaimed, inching closer. To her surprise, his breathing seemed to grow more even.
"Y-you're… y-you're alright…?" he asked. She had to hold back the urge to cry again as he asked her such a question.
"I am, but you're not," she said, standing up and looking at him with uncertainty. "J-just… stay awake, okay? I'll be back in a moment, with the doctor, I promise…"
"Uh-huh… I'm… k-kinda thirsty…" he said. She nodded.
"We'll do something about it. I'll be right back," she said again, kissing his fingers softly. Sokka sighed.
"Okay…" he said, as she reluctantly let go of his hand and rushed to find the doctor.
Wang and Mei Liang came quickly to have a look at Sokka, and they asked him many questions. The physician tested him a little, hoping to find out if Sokka was in any shape to drink or eat anything. As he couldn't see any signs of internal bleeding, he decided to take his chances and had him drinking some water. Not long after he was done ingesting all of it, Sokka fell asleep again. Azula sighed.
"He's very weak," Mei Liang said. "He needs to rest to regain his energies, but it will be a long recovery regardless…"
"As long as he makes it, I don't care how long it takes," Azula said, sighing. Wang patted her back gently.
"We will make lunch soon. Your other companion seems to be out for the day, though. Should we wait for him?"
"I don't think he'll be back yet," said Azula, shaking her head. "You'll do best to eat now, yes."
"Very well, then. We will bring some more food for you," said Mei Liang, knowing Azula was unlikely to touch the food this time around, too. Still, Azula nodded gratefully.
"I appreciate it," she said. She took her seat next to Sokka, her hand on his slowly beating heart again.
She scarcely ate any of the lunch she was offered, her stomach seemed too tight and tense to accept any food, no matter how badly she might need the nourishment. She rested with her head on the mattress again, waiting as patiently as she could until he reacted.
It happened a lot sooner this time, as she felt a hand caressing her cheek. She almost jumped this time too, but she managed to keep herself in check, merely looking at him nervously.
His eyes were open this time, and he was smiling a little. The sight of him, conscious and smiling, brought tears of desperation to her eyes.
"Sokka, you're…" she said. His grin grew a little crooked.
"Banged up pretty badly, aren't I…?" he asked, grimacing as he shifted slightly on the mattress. "How're you?"
"Why do you keep asking that when you're the one who…?" she asked, looking at him in disbelief. He chuckled softly, his face contorted with pain.
"Just… I hope you have a better answer than I do," he said. "Damn, I think I can't laugh as it is…"
"You shouldn't," Azula agreed. "I'll get the physician, he should…"
"H-hey… hey," he said, reaching out somewhat clumsily for her hand.
"What?" she asked, taking it between hers.
"Thanks," he whispered. The tears did slip from her eyes now as she inched closer, pressing her face gently to his.
"Just… feel better. Recover," she whispered, moving a hand to his uninjured cheek. "That's all I care about right now, okay?"
"Hmm-hm," Sokka said, nodding weakly. "I'll try…"
"I need to get the doctor now, alright?" she said. Sokka smiled. "Maybe you can have more water, or even food, or… anything. I need to ask him, though…"
"Alright," he said, with a soft sigh as he closed his eyes again. "I… I love you."
"And I you," she said, kissing his forehead as softly as she could. His smile softened, no longer as hindered by the pain as before.
She was gone briefly, and she returned with Wang and a glass of water he had authorized Sokka to drink. Azula sat by the bed somewhat impatiently, as the man checked Sokka's body again to ensure his condition was stable. He undid the bandages around his stomach, revealing the still tender burns that had rejoined his skin, and Sokka glanced down at them with a small frown.
"I see no signs of trouble," Wang said, smiling at Sokka. "You're also not feverish anymore, so I guess you prevented an infection somehow. Remarkable, really, if you were indeed injured by a beast and saved through cauterization…"
"Sometimes I have good luck…" Sokka said, with a weak grin. Wang laughed.
"That you do, but these burns still need to be treated," he said, taking the ointment he would apply on them. "They aren't too severe, but I'm afraid they will sting for quite a while."
"That's okay," said Sokka, sighing. "I've had burns before…"
In fact, the burn that had lasted the longest had been another one on his stomach, delivered by the very same person who had saved him this time. He frowned, gazing down at the wounds again: the mark she had left upon him on their first encounter, that fist to his stomach, was gone. The cauterization had as good as written over the previous wound, and it had even somehow smoothed his roughened skin.
He flinched a few times as Wang applied the ointments, offering explanations to Azula so she would do it the next time. He left after letting her know that he would bring some broth for Sokka later, hoping he would be able to process something more substantial than water the next time around.
"Here… drink a little," Azula said, bringing the cup to Sokka's lips. He hummed gratefully and sipped the water, swallowing with some difficulty.
"I'm real helpless, huh?" he asked, looking at her with uncertainty once she pulled the water away.
"For now, maybe. But we'll take care of you," she said, looking at him hopefully. "How are you feeling?"
"Weird," he admitted, closing his eyes. "Weak. I… I don't know if I can be as annoying as I always am when I get hurt. Even if I forced my body to do things, I feel like… like it won't obey."
"You lost too much blood," Azula said, looking at him worriedly. The image of him lying in that pool of red came to her mind again as she spoke. "It's only natural that you'd feel this way. But… how? What happened…? W-well, that is, if you want to say. Maybe you need more rest instead of…"
"N-nah, I… I'd rather talk," Sokka said, looking at her through scarcely open eyes. "Nyla was… out of control. I think that… maybe it was my blood? They… they cut my cheek for no reason, I thought, but… maybe it was to make her attack me."
"And you knocked her out somehow? I think your club was lying there…"
"Yeah, I… I think I got her. It's all blurry, though," he said. "I guess she hit me after I swung my club, then I was lying on the ground and I couldn't move… and then you found me."
Azula sighed, clasping his hand in hers. Sokka looked at her hopelessly.
"You saved my life," he said. "For the millionth time, of course…"
"I wish I'd thought of it sooner, of… c-cauterizing your wound with gold fire, I'm such a fool," she said, shaking her head. "If I had, you would have made it out in better shape, surely. You wouldn't have bled out so much…"
"You still saved me, you know?" he asked, smiling. "I'm alive, aren't I?"
"I know you are, I… I'm so relieved that you are, Sokka, but I…" she said, gritting her teeth. "I should've protected you better, I should've known…"
"You couldn't have known they were White Lotus…" Sokka whispered. Her eyes widened.
"They… White Lotus?" she repeated. "All along… that scumbag, Jeong Jeong, he was White Lotus all along?"
"I didn't figure it out either until he said it…" Sokka said. "I didn't realize they were after me either, but… I'm glad."
"You're… glad?" Azula repeated, raising her eyebrows in confusion. Sokka smiled weakly.
"If they just wanted me, then it meant they weren't going to try to hurt you or kidnap you. It was… my only relief. My only hope," he said.
Azula gritted her teeth, tears burning in her eyes again. Her hand around his tightened, and she lifted his fingers to her lips, pressing a trembling kiss to them. He smiled sweetly.
"But you're okay… y-you're…" he said, stretching out his fingers a little and touching her face as her shoulders shook weakly with her sobs.
"I was so… I was… I saw you there and I couldn't…" she gasped, her elbows on the mattress now as she clutched his hand, as if it were the only thing that could anchor her to reality. "I'm supposed to protect you, I should have been able to…! I just…!"
"Shhh… there's no need to cry," Sokka whispered, with a weak smile. "D-didn't the physician say I'd be okay…?"
"You just… you will be. You have to be," she said, breathing deeply and trying to calm down. His fingers intertwined with hers.
"Then the worst is behind us, okay?" he said, still smiling. "Don't feel responsible, Azula, you… you didn't do anything wrong. It's not your fault."
"I'm pretty sure that's not the case, but…" she said, releasing his hand and wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. She breathed deeply and looked at him, through her still blurry eyesight. "I'll just… pretend you're right and focus on what matters. I shouldn't be so irrational, I…"
"I'm not telling you to keep your feelings to yourself either," he said. "You can be irrational…"
"I need to focus on you," she said, shaking her head and looking at him. "Do you think they might come back for you somehow? What did they want? What… why were they after you?"
Sokka's light smile faded as he frowned, thinking back on his encounter with Jeong Jeong. He focused on the feeling of Azula's hand on his and he smiled a little again, if only briefly.
"Well… they shouldn't come back. They must think I'm dead," he said. "As for what they wanted… Jeong Jeong wanted to find out whether I was some sort of eligible asset for the White Lotus or not."
"He wanted to…? T-to turn you into one of them? And this is how he went about it?" Azula asked, her misery almost fully overwhelmed by her indignation now. Sokka waved his free hand around dismissively.
"I don't know if he really planned to turn me, honestly, but I… I may have pissed him off a bit too much and that might be why he decided to kill me," he said. "But… it's funny. He didn't bother doing it himself, won't get his hands soiled with blood, just gives out the commands and tricks Nyla into doing it, huh? He's… he's so full of it, that jackass…"
"Why did you anger him?" Azula asked. Sokka huffed.
"Because he… heh, he says Piandao wanted me to influence you," he said, looking at her nonchalantly. Azula froze. "He says… that that was the plan all along, pretty much. But he was a skeptic, he thought I'd been corrupted by the luxuries and life I'd lived in the Fire Nation. It seems he saw the opposite of himself in me. He figured I'd betrayed everything I ever believed in, my people, everyone I cared about… and I realized nothing I said would make him think differently. So, I… just said what I really thought. He didn't like it."
"Sokka…" Azula said, swallowing hard. He smiled.
"I don't know what else did he expect, really," Sokka whispered. "Even if I'd groveled to his feet begging for mercy he would have only stomped on my head. He was only there to prove himself right, but at least I kicked his ego a bit in the process…"
"You're such a troublemaker," she said, shaking her head and caressing his hair gently. Sokka closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensation. "So that was it? He wanted to know if… if you were corrupt?"
"Well… I think he also wanted revenge for what I did back in the Capital," said Sokka. "He didn't say it outright, but he didn't need to. All he really wanted was to know if I'd be loyal to them or to you, I guess, and… my answer was so blunt it's probably is what left me in this shape, huh?"
"You rejected him," Azula whispered. "You chose…"
"I'll always choose you, Azula. Always," he said, smiling gently at her. She sighed. "It's not like he was offering much in the first place. As I said, he just wanted to blow his own horn and prove Piandao wrong about me. But Piandao wasn't there, so I imagine… I imagine Jeong Jeong must have taken off to tell Piandao that I'm just as rotten as he believed I was…"
"What did Piandao want from you anyways?" Azula asked, snarling. "To influence me how? And… was he really only ever using you?"
"I don't know, I'd have to ask Piandao himself, likely," Sokka said, grimacing. "But… I guess Jeong Jeong was sure you'd only be like your father. Piandao's plan to make me influence you… it probably was based on the hopes that you could break free from his legacy. Jeong Jeong refused to believe that was possible…"
"And because he refused to believe it, he decided to kill you? So he could make completely sure it would be impossible?" Azula asked. "Because… curse it, if he had succeeded, I'd…"
"You'd be running through those forests trying to take revenge?" Sokka asked, with a weak smile. "You're lovely."
"I can't promise I won't try to murder the bastard if I ever do meet him, truly," Azula said, gritting her teeth. "Revenge for what you did in the Capital, too… for keeping his friends and allies alive despite my father would have gladly slaughtered them? Really? This is how he repays you?"
"Looks like it," Sokka said, sighing. "I just knew it was the right thing to do… so I did it. I know those guys… t-the White Lotus, they're very similar to who I used to be. They hate the Fire Nation and think they're right to do so… but they haven't seen what I've seen. They haven't lived what I've lived… they may have forgotten fire is part of balance too. They don't seem to realize that… that harmony can be achieved if you just try hard enough."
Azula looked at him hopefully, and he smiled warmly at her.
"I mean… look at us," he said. "Took us a while, but… we're balanced now, aren't we?"
She smiled a little and nodded. Sokka sighed in relief, and she leaned close, a hand moving to his cheek as she kissed him softly. Her lips were still trembling, and he noticed it easily.
"We are," she said, as firmly as she could. "More than ever."
"Good…" said Sokka, smiling. "Means we'll do just fine when we do get married, huh?"
Azula's eyes widened and Sokka chuckled, though laughing certainly was painful. He smiled awkwardly afterwards.
"You remember that I…?" she asked. Sokka smiled.
"How could I forget?" he asked. "It's a bit blurry, but… you did say yes, didn't you?"
Azula's smile grew more genuine, although it was still sad. She kissed him again, fingers lacing through his soft locks.
"I did," she confirmed. Sokka's smile widened. "And… I might do it again if you ask once more."
"Oh?" he said, raising his eyebrows. "Will you marry me?"
"Yes."
He laughed and it hurt again, but he barely felt it as she kissed him, having answered him as earnestly as she could have. His heart soared, despite he was weak and hurt, for he could tell she had no doubts, no hesitations anymore. She spoke as truthfully as possible, with more determination than that of any strong-willed hero of old stories. And her truth was setting his heart ablaze, much like hers was with feelings of love for him.
"You saved me…" he whispered, as she kissed his face all over, softly. "You… used your gold fire and you…"
"I'm sorry it hurt as much as it did, but I had no choice," she said, cupping his face. "I wasn't about to face a life without you, damn it all. We were supposed to…"
She fell unexpectedly silent, and Sokka frowned. He raised his eyebrow slowly.
"Supposed to what…?" he asked. She swallowed hard.
"Y-you… you were dying," she said. He nodded. "When I found you, I… I lost it. I was a wreck, I couldn't… couldn't think properly, couldn't figure out what to do, I was at a complete loss. All I knew was that every second spent doing nothing was another second closer to losing you. And the things you said, the way you still tried to make me smile, it… it made me bend gold fire. And then I cauterized your wounds."
"Yeah… that's how it was," Sokka said, nodding weakly. Azula swallowed.
"The gold fire… the light," she muttered. Sokka frowned. "And that feeling of emptiness, of despair, of hopelessness… I was falling into darkness. I… I was about to…"
She brought a hand to her mouth, looking at Sokka in chagrin. He stared back at her, in mild disbelief but also in amazement.
"But… but if you think that's what the fortune meant…" Sokka muttered. "What about losing everything? I mean…"
"Sokka, you fool…" she said, swallowing hard and leaning closer to him. "Don't you get it? Losing you… it would have meant losing everything that truly mattered."
His eyes widened, and she pressed her eyes tightly shut as she felt the tears about to escape again.
"I couldn't let it happen. Not now, not like this…" she said, shaking her head. "I couldn't let you go, not when… when we still have so much more to live together, right?"
"Right," he said, releasing a deep breath. "Oh, Azula…"
"I know what you're thinking," she said, as he looked at her apprehensively. "I know, I know… I can't give up so easily. We have so much to do, so much work ahead of us, an entire world to fix and… and you don't want me to give up if something were to happen to you."
"Yeah… it wouldn't be fair," he said, sighing. "You're so talented, so capable… You could lead the Fire Nation into a right path…"
"But I… I want you there, leading it with me," she said, her voice trembling. "I need you there, because that world we're going to fix… it's supposed to allow us to be together, remember? It's supposed… it's supposed to give us freedom. I can't do it without you."
"You can…"
"Well, then, I choose not to," she said, determinedly. Sokka chuckled again, groaning a little when his laughter yielded pain as well. "Is that clear enough for you?"
"You're beautiful," he said, sighing. "You're wonderful. I sure as hell don't deserve a girl like you…"
"Says the man who refused to say simple words of submission to a madman who wanted to kill him, just to remain faithful and loyal to me for good," Azula said. Sokka smiled a little.
"You're the love of my life," he said. "I'd die for you if I had to…"
"You would, I can tell," she said, looking at him sternly. "But I can't let you throw your life away that easily, damn it. I… I need you. I have a path ahead of me, you just said so, and I… I want to walk it with you. Can't do that if you die on me, can I?"
"Azula…"
"Just… I get it, and I'm amazed that you're so loving, that you'd do anything for me… but the next time? Maybe lie," she said, gritting her teeth. "I'll understand. I won't care as long as it means you'll… as long as it means you'll survive."
"I…" Sokka said, staring at her in disbelief as she brought his hand to her face.
"You're stubborn, too stubborn," she said, sighing. "And you're reckless to no end. I'm amazed you can love me as much as you do, Sokka… but maybe love me a little less if it means you'll be less ready to throw your life away, okay?"
"Oh, Azula…" he said, reaching out to touch her face. She sighed and pressed her cheek against his palm, kissing his hand softly.
"If you won't do it for yourself, do it for me," she said, swallowing hard. "Live on, because you know I can't go on if you don't, at the very least…"
"I'm not… I'm not as ready to die as that, Azula," he said, with a weak smile. "Especially not ever since you found me again. Didn't I tell you? You… you gave me reasons to keep on living. You always have. Ever since we got together for good, I… I've kept imagining a future for us. I… I hadn't thought about the future in that way since I was a kid in my Tribe, you know? All I could think of when you found me was the day I'd return, but… now I can see so much more in the future, thanks to you…"
"Like… three kids?" Azula asked, smiling a little. Sokka smiled back.
"Only if you want them too," he said. She chuckled.
"Tough luck, then…" she whispered. He laughed as well, feeling the urge to sit up and kiss her, but with such a weak body, it wasn't meant to be.
Wang returned then, bringing a bowl with broth, as promised. It stung Azula that Sokka wouldn't complain about the lacking meal he was being provided, for he would surely do so in any other circumstances. He merely smiled weakly at the physician, who instructed Azula to feed it to Sokka very slowly, and to inform him right away if anything went wrong.
"We need to make sure your body is working properly," said the doctor, patting Sokka's shoulder gently. "So take it easy. If this goes well you can have more later, alright?"
"Sure…" said Sokka.
"Don't worry, soup is a sign of progress in these circumstances," he reassured him, smiling. "You're getting better. Your wife here is looking after you to make sure you do recover, and I bet you don't want to disappoint her."
Sokka's eyes widened a little and he looked at Wang with surprise. The man excused himself and Azula was left to smile fondly at Sokka's reaction.
"I guess that marks two people who got it right," she said. Sokka smiled now.
"Well… you probably haven't even thought to disguise our relationship through all of this," he said, as she sat next to him on the mattress, the bowl between her hands. "I guess he'd have to be blind not to see that you care a little too much about me…"
"And you care a little too much about me, too" she said, brushing his hair away from his face gently "Now… shall we?"
It was strange to be helped to eat by Azula, but Sokka's hands were unstable and trembled constantly, making it impossible for him to use them for refined movements. At least his hands weren't dead weight, though: his legs were still dormant, and he had the feeling his blood loss had meant that less of it would flow south. He snorted weakly at the thought, which made Azula raise an eyebrow once she put the now empty bowl away on the nightstand.
"What is it?" she asked. He looked at her somewhat apologetically.
"To think we'd just broken our dry spell, and this happens… the universe loves to mess with us, huh?"
"Looks like it," she admitted, smiling weakly, still sitting on the mattress. "But as much fun as it may be, you do realize that that's…"
"Not as important as my full recovery and survival? Yeah, yeah, I know…" he said, sighing. She leaned closer, still smiling.
"You're so thick-headed," she whispered. "And you really do need to get your mind out of the gutter. You've just crossed paths with the number one enemy of the Fire Nation and what frustrates you the most is that we won't have sex until you're all better?"
"Uh… yeah. Isn't that how my mind always works?" he asked, smiling a little more. She laughed softly and kissed his forehead and lips.
"Well, that broth certainly has helped. You're really sounding like yourself again," she said, cupping his face. He inched his head to the side, kissing her palm softly.
"Climb up here…"
"What?" Azula whispered. He smiled.
"It's a big enough bed for the both of us," he said. "Can't you…?"
Azula bit her lip but smiled. Indeed, there was enough room at the other side of the bed, so she decided to abide by his wishes and rest by his left, climbing on the mattress as he requested.
He was smiling, his head turned towards her as she lay on her side, staring at him in wonder. Her hand stretched out, finding his bare chest, but specifically, his heart once again. It wasn't a big difference, but she could have sworn the beats felt a little stronger now. Maybe it was her wishful thinking, or maybe Sokka was indeed recovering… but it would take a long time for him to be back in shape, she knew as much. It would be a long road, though it was not the road she had expected to be walking with him after his proposal from the day before. Nothing could have prepared her for this cruel reality blow, for the sight of him as broken and weak as he was now.
Those thoughts reminded her that the panda-lily he had given her at the volcano with his proposal had been in her pack. She closed her eyes and gritted her teeth, hoping Rui Shi would have found their luggage before anyone else did… or else they would have lost many extremely valuable things, including all of Sokka's weapons. She sighed, though, trying to stop worrying about those things. She merely cuddled closer to Sokka, kissing the top of his head as she embraced him gently.
"Do you want to take another nap?" she asked. He grunted, which she guessed was a yes.
"I think I'm… sleeping with you, a bit," he said, smiling somewhat mischievously. She actually laughed, kissing his forehead.
"I think you are all better now. I bet this is just an act to make me worry," she teased him. He smiled. "Filthy-minded gladiator…"
"Overly-classy, beautiful princess…" he said, sighing.
His trembling hand managed to find hers over his chest. She pressed her head to the side of his head as he closed his eyes, and she caressed his hair gently with her other hand, to appease him into another round of rest. He dozed off quickly, and Azula took it as a good sign. He could have responded badly to the broth, but he had finished all of it and there was still no nefarious reaction. Maybe in a few hours he'd be able to drink something more consistent. At least, she hoped so.
He would get better, she knew as much. He had undergone terrible trials, though she doubted he had ever been as badly wounded as he was right now. He had lost blood after his fight with Jet, but he could still move: the wounds had been mostly superficial, never lethal. The entire opposite had happened this time: his life had been in more danger than ever before, far worse than dangling on an unstable chain above a pit of molten lava, worse than what Toph had done to him on their first fight, worse than his fight against Rhone.
She shuddered as she watched him sleep, deep fears dawning inside her. He looked peaceful, but she certainly couldn't share the feeling right now. She had never been as scared in her entire life, never felt as powerless, even though she'd had the power to save him in the end. She had never wanted so badly to be in his place instead, to take all the pain, to take the brunt of Jeong Jeong's rage instead of Sokka… she would have taken all of it without a second thought if she'd had the chance.
It was her own fault, though, that Sokka ended up in bad shape as often as he did. She had pulled him out of a life of ever-lethal violence, but she had given him a life that was still lethal, even if not at all times. He still was at frequent risk of death as her gladiator, he still was badly injured too often for her peace of mind. Jeong Jeong had done all this because Sokka kept choosing her above everything else, he had wanted to murder her gladiator because of his bond with her: every single time he had wound up in bad shape it had been because of her, somehow…
The thought made her clench her teeth and close her eyes, feeling tears surging again. She didn't want to cry anymore, but it was hard to help it after what had happened. The attack had been a cruel blow, one that had reminded her of the true fragility of life, and of the consequences of her decisions, too. At this rate, she truly would get Sokka killed one day and she would have nobody to blame for it but herself.
The fortuneteller's warning came to mind again, and so did her initial understanding of it: if their relationship were discovered, Sokka would certainly be put to death. He would die, and if he did, she might as well die too. She couldn't let that happen. She would never let that happen. Their relationship had come too far as it was, there was no backtracking anymore… and because of that, she needed to protect it now more than ever. She couldn't make more mistakes. She couldn't put him at risk anymore. She had to take this seriously, or else…
The memory of his body on that pool of blood chilled her to the bone. It came back to her mind so vividly, as though she were seeing it again right in front of her eyes: she felt a sob shaking her, and only then did she realize her tears were actually rolling down her face.
She inched closer to his sleeping figure, dropping her head on his shoulder as she cried silently, trying not to disturb him. Her hand went back to that spot right above his heart: it was still beating. It was still beating.
He had to keep on living. There was no way around it. They had made too many promises, too many vows. He had to stick around to make sure she would fulfill their goals, that was the deal. That was how it had to be. He had to see his family again, didn't he? He had so much to do, so much to live for…
She sighed, her entire body shaking as she curled against him. Her voice was weak, a bare whisper, as she spoke without needing to be heard, doing so only to relieve the grief in her heart, if just a little:
"Don't leave me…"
Despite what she had thought, uttering the words only seemed to make her fears more real than they had been before. She sighed and held onto him tighter, knowing her sorrow would not be chased away easily. Knowing he would need her through this recovery process, but also knowing that her mind would be tormented by the image of his broken, dying body for many years, if not the rest of her life.
Still, it served to build her resolve to never let him come to harm again. It didn't matter what she had to do to prevent it, she wouldn't allow it, no matter what. He had protected her countless times: she was determined to do the same for him, come what may.