Chapter 65: These connections are too troublesome
Goetia stared beyond the edge of his left shoulder towards the pair, still standing stock still not too far from him. The both of them maintained their position on the path that led towards the Monastery, however their heads were facing his direction in clear surprise.
"Teacher?" Lysithea called out again, his eyes fell upon her in an instant and lost none of their surprise.
How was she here?
For that matter, how was Flayn here?
How did he fail to notice that both Lysithea and Flayn had managed to pierce his bounded field without alerting him in the least. That simply wasn't possible, neither of them were skilled enough for that. Flayn would have been in an even greater position to be detected by him due to her phantasmal nature, even if it was more subdued than Rhea's that didn't change anything.
Comparing the two was like saying it was easier to see a volcanic eruption than a forest fire, true enough the volcano was easier to witness but that didn't detract from the scale of the forest fire in the least.
So then how were the pair of them able to sneak up on him without his notice?
He rose to his feet, earning jolts of surprise from the pair of them at the swiftness of the motion, more so when he turned around to face them. His expression had fallen from clear surprise to now puzzlement as his gaze flickered between the two of them. "...How did you-?" he voiced for a moment before he cut himself off and furrowed his brows "How did you penetrate the bounded field?"
Flayn was the first to recover from her shock - Lysithea was still gaping at the state he was in - and gave him a look of confusion to mirror his own "How did we penetrate the what?" she asked, moving off the path and towards him with her hands by her side "We were merely heading towards the Monastery when we heard your voice and…" she trailed off, looking around "Were you speaking with someone just now?"
Goetia remained silent as he took in this information, his expression becoming thoughtful.
They had heard him? That shouldn't have been possible. The bounded field was specifically constructed to prevent anyone from sensing him, hearing him or even seeing him without him making the first move. It might have been hastily constructed and would have been easily detected by even a semi-competent magus but the only one around here for miles was Lysithea and she wasn't quite at that level yet.
How then were they able to-
"You were distracted as you set up the bounded field. Even as a simple one, there are some glaring holes in it that could be exploited by someone truly determined."
Flayn and Lysithea noticed the split second that Goetia's posture tightened, his eyes flashed bright red and his lip curled into the most hate filled snarl either of them had ever seen. The sheer level of emotion on his face was practically alien to the pair of them and though it was clear it wasn't directed at either of them, that didn't detract from it in the least.
The pair watched as his eyes wandered away from them and towards his left side and glared openly at an empty space just next to the broken chair. His heated gaze remained on the spot for several seconds before his exhaled loudly - for a brief moment, Flayn thought he was growling - and his posture loosened slightly, his eyes dulled and his lip fell back into a thin line, though it seemed strained.
"...I was talking to myself." He responded after a moment of silence, turning his attention back onto Flayn. The girl found herself frowning, there was something about the way he spoke the words that made it sound as though there was a deeper meaning to them. "...You were heading to the Monastery you say?" he asked again.
"Yes." Lysithea jumped into that, although she looked slightly hesitant as she continued to look Goetia up and down. The slight embarrassment from seeing the man almost naked slowly died away in favour of concern for his well-being. "We were searching for you." she paused for a moment before she frowned "A number of guards are searching for you as well."
Goetia slowly shifted his gaze to her, his dead eyes locked onto her own and engaged in a staring match for several seconds. He gave a slow and uncaring blink "Is that so." he stated.
"Yes." Flayn voiced aloud, her voice containing clear worry "That is so." then the worry vanished in favour of a more chiding tone of voice "I believe you promised that you would return to bed to allow your injuries time to recover after our conversation earlier." the girl accused as she stepped forwards, placing her hands on her hips and looking up at him with clear disapproval "This is quite the opposite."
"I said I would consider it, if I recall." Goetia responded with "I considered it and decided I had…" he trailed off, his voice becoming quieter as he made to turn back around "There were other…matters to busy myself with."
"Do they involve that new injury on your leg!" Flayn snapped with a tone that had Lysithea jolt, she hadn't expected the diminutive girl to do that. Although she idly noticed that she sounded much like Seteth when he was disciplining them. "That was not there when you visited me earlier!"
That got Goetia to pause, then slowly trail his eyes down to the leg in question.
The gash on his left leg, just beneath his knee, was now far more inflamed. A trail of dried blood was running all the way down to his ankles. He'd barely even noticed it.
"...It was not." He replied, then looked back up to see Flayn stalking closer to him. He frowned lightly, "Nor is it in need of your treatment."
"I very much beg to differ." Flayn responded with, now caught between scowling at him and his injury "This is what I feared when I saw you wandering around, and without any sense of shame!" she continued to rant "You were clearly distracted when you visited me and this is just showing a complete disregard for your own body."
"And I am more capable of healing myself than you are." Goetia responded hotly "I do not need your care to recover. A mere scratch like this is nothing to me-"
"Then explain how you have left it long enough for the blood to harden?" Flayn asked with narrowed eyes, looking up at him and giving no indication she was intimidated in the least by his somewhat aggressive tone of voice. "If such a mere scratch such as this is a trivial matter, then why has it been allowed to remain for so long."
Goetia rolled his jaw "Because it is so far beneath my notice that it didn't register as an issue. If you came here just to-"
"Teacher." Lysithea called out to him, bringing his attention back onto her as she stepped off the path and walked towards him with a troubled expression.
No…not troubled.
It was a worried expression.
Aimed at him.
He hated that face she was making.
He hated that it was aimed at him.
"Don't look at me like that." He demanded almost instantly, causing Lysithea to cease her movements and stare at him with wide eyes "Do not dare to give me those pitying eyes. You think I am some creature you can look upon and feel sorry for? How dare you even consider looking at me like that."
Lysithea had taken a step back before her expression hardened ever so slightly "Alright then." she complied easily enough, her posture becoming more lax and her face losing that pitying edge rather swiftly. While the young girl wasn't sure where he was coming from, she understood the reaction easily enough. She often had the same one when people made comments about her age believing it unfair she was ranked against her older peers.
Goetia remained focused on her for a few moments more before giving a singular grunt and turning his head back onto Flayn "As I was saying. My injury is trivial and is not concerning. You sought me out to ensure my condition and have now been assured, there is no further need for you to be here." he turned away from the and walked back towards the chair.
"Goetia." Flayn called out to him disapprovingly, as if he was a child running away from his mother. "Just because you do not enjoy the topic of the conversation does not mean that the conversation does not need to occur." she remarked as she followed after him "That is not the manner in which the world-"
"If you are going to lecture me on the fairness of the world, then I suggest you save your breath." He bluntly remarked in a cold voice, cutting her off before she could even finish her sentence. "I doubt there is a person here who is not familiar with the way in which the world works." Goetia's eyes fell upon her from the corner of his vision "And how cruel it can be. I take issue with the way in which you merely accept it."
Flayn did a double take "Are you rejecting this topic of conversation because you simply can?" she asked in complete shock "Is that truly the logic that you intend to play here?"
"This conversation is not one that needs to occur-"
"In your opinion." Flayn pointed out.
"I need no other opinion." Goetia didn't so much as miss a beat in the timing of his response "And it does not need to occur so it won't occur."
"Things do not just happen because you say they will." Flayn remarked in an oddly quiet tone of voice "Even for you, if they did then we would all be living in a different land than we currently do."
"Hah." Goetia's laugh came out hoarse and ugly, a noise that spoke a thousand stories and didn't even make an attempt to begin one of them. "I forgot how amusing ignorance could be until just now." his voice turned cold once again "Leave."
"Not until-"
"What does this do, Teacher?" The pair turned their attention to the voice, finding Lysithea stood near the bronze tube sat atop the three legs. The girl's face was contemplative as she examined it up and down and from every angle "I have not seen it before."
"...We discussed them at some point in the past." Goetia replied after a moment, his voice losing its heated tone and reverting to a more subtle blank one, his eyes focusing on Lysithea "On the topic of stargazing."
Lysithea scrunched her face up in thought for a few moments, clearly trying to recall the conversation "You…asked if anyone watched the stars, I believe?" she guessed, looking to Goetia for confirmation. When he gave a single nod, the girl's expression turned a hint smug "I thought as much. You were mildly surprised that the Alliance didn't have any, if I recall?"
"Hmm." Goetia grunted, waving his single arm in the direction of the contraption "I went about creating the design for this shortly after the conversation."
Lysithea nodded along with his explanation, reaching out and tentatively placing her hand on the upper section of the tube and pushing it down. Her eyes focused on the gear at the side as it cranked away before she let it go around the midpoint and watched as the gear locked in place.
"...I…have not seen something quite like this." She explained slowly "Neither the blacksmith nor Anna had any idea what you were making." she paused for a moment as if recalling something "By the way, the merchant Anna wishes to speak with you urgently in regards to a private matter."
"Hm?" Goetia made a brief noise that could almost be construed as confusion before it was followed by another - more confident - grunt of understanding. "I expected she would, though…previous events caused the…" he trailed off, falling into another silence.
Flayn looked between Lysithea and Goetia in confusion for a few moments before she thinned her lips and nodded her head. It would appear that Lysithea had the better idea, Goetia was clearly not responding well to the initial approach so it was better to at least get him in a more comfortable position.
"So…this observes the stars, I would assume?" Lysithea guessed, returning Goetia's attention back to her.
"Hmmm." He grunted once in acknowledgement before he turned his attention skyward "As there are no stars currently in the night sky, it would be somewhat useless. Hence why I arrived at this vantage point after creating it and have begun waiting for the opportune moment to use it."
Flayn nodded along with his explanation until she paused at something. "...How long have you been waiting out here in nothing but a blanket and your small-clothes?"
Goetia didn't respond to her for a few moments "It is called a telescope." then completely ignored her in favour of providing Lysithea information which she hadn't actually asked for in the first place. Flayn frowned and clenched her jaw, Goetia was certainly living up to his word of 'rejecting the conversation' as he put it.
Though Flayn was not going to give up so easily, she would bide her time but she wouldn't forget about it.
"And it is designed to utilise refined lenses to magnify an image considerably to allow someone to view an object at a distance with a much greater degree of clarity than they would be able to with the naked eye." Goetia continued on as he watched the sun drop further down beyond the horizon "The results depend very much upon the telescope's power in question."
"How powerful is this one?" Lysithea asked curiously as she turned away from the device and towards the man. Goetia turned his head to stare at her from the corner of his eye for a few moments before he hummed quietly.
"I was limited by the materials I had available to me and my skill never lay within item creation to begin with." He admitted easily enough "That being said, it is far more powerful than any other rangefinder that currently exists within Fodlan." he paused for a moment before he made a noise somewhere between resignation and disappointment "Not that it is a difficult achievement to grant myself."
Flayn - meanwhile - was giving Goetia a somewhat puzzled glance "Forgive me if I sound ignorant…but do the rangefinders of the church not count?"
"...Those?" Goetia parroted in a dismissive voice "They do not have the same range as this." he exhaled "Have you any further questions or do you purely intend to remain here for no other reason?"
Lysithea remained silent for a moment before she looked left and right and then turned her eyes skywards "...You intend to remain here to watch the stars, why?"
Goetia remained silent for a moment before he replied "...I told you as much when we spoke of the stars last time. Having knowledge of the stars is useful for the development of certain branches of magecraft." he responded after a few moments of silence "Especially those where the stars are still regarded as 'The Heavens' as yours are." he paused for a moment, then inclined his head in the direction of Flayn without looking at her "They are considered the domain of the Goddess, are they not?"
Flayn blinked once before she replied "They are the realm of the Goddess, yes." her head tilted slightly "I am not entirely sure what you mean by 'considered' however."
"Hmmm…" Goetia's hum was more thoughtful this time. "Your Goddess seems to have a great manner of authority over more than just time."
"The Goddess has many authorities." Flayn explained simply "That is because she is the Goddess."
Goetia remained silent for a moment before he grunted and looked back to Lysithea "That is why I am here…to…" he paused for a moment "Examine the stars in the event I need to know their locations for future spells."
The girl remained silent for a moment before she nodded her head "If that is the case, might I remain as well Teacher?" she asked, his gaze remained somewhat blank "Just so that I can actually see the development that goes into the creation of a new branch of magecraft." she added on before her expression turned slightly excited "It is certainly something that I would be interested in witnessing."
"...If…If you wish." Was the response she received, Goetia looked away from her. Neither Flayn nor Lysithea commented upon the hesitation in his tone, almost as if he was somewhat surprised that she had even asked in the first place. While his gaze was elsewhere, the two girls shared a glance with each other once again.
"How does this contraption work?" Lysithea asked after a moment, directing her eyes towards the telescope once again.
"There is a port at the base of the telescope, you place your eye there and look through it." He explained "It should be pointed out that gazing into the sun would be both stupid and self-harming. Do not do that."
Lysithea managed to give him a slightly annoyed look "I am not as foolish as my classmates, teacher. I know well enough that looking at the sun is ordinarily bad for your eyes. If this device makes objects appear larger, then gazing at the sun through it would be incredibly foolish."
"...Oh…yes…" Goetia quietly muttered "You would understand, would you not?" another pause "The ground is dry enough, if you wish to be seated."
"...Would it be presumptuous to ask you to create some manner of chair from the earth?" Lysithea asked after a moment of hesitation "Von Reigan said you managed to reform a stone floor into a wall."
Goetia was silent for another moment before he muttered something under his breath, Lysithea jolted and stepped back as she watched the dirt near her feet suddenly rise upwards and flatten out at the top. Forming something akin to a stool as opposed to an actual seat, not that she was going to complain about it.
She also noticed that a second one had sprung up next to Flayn, the girl looking at it in surprise before she looked to Goetia in confusion.
"I assumed you would be stubborn enough to remain." Goetia responded to the unasked question, still not looking in Flayn's direction. "Therefore I was preemptive."
"I see." Flayn nodded her head in response, then smiled at Goetia as she placed herself upon the chair made from hardened dirt. "Thank you, Goetia. That was most accommodating of you." there was another silence "With how often you perform these rather outrageous displays of ingenuity with magic, I fear as though you might inspire no small amount of envy from other scholars across Fodlan."
"They have only themselves to blame for the lack of development." Goetia responded swiftly and his voice not shifting tone in the least "I am not responsible for laziness, if they have no interest in developing their own craft then they have no right to be envious of another's success. It is both arrogant and foolish."
"I…suppose so." Flayn replied slowly before she turned her attention towards the slowly darkening sky "Speaking of which, you mentioned there are some spells you know which require an understanding of the stars?" when Goetia hummed she continued on "What manner of spells are they?"
"...Navigation." He explained "Guiding wayfaring travellers on the correct course, both upon the land and the sea."
Flayn made a small gasp "Ah, I have heard how some sailors will use the brightest star in the sky to find their way, is that what you mean?"
"Yes. Although astromancy magecraft often makes the brightest star in the sky the star that leads you to your destination." He paused for a moment "There are others but that is the main usage for the stars."
Flayn hummed "In that case, I can understand how it might be useful to know."
"Hmmmm." Another hum was her only response, silence falling upon the group as they all watched the sun start to fall lower and lower until it vanished beyond the horizon. The only sign it was still present was the faint orange glow that was slowly being dragged lower and lower through the sky.
Lysithea looked around, frowning lightly to herself "Will it not get cold, Teacher?" she asked after a few moments, her eyes falling upon his semi-naked body "Are you not going to get cold?"
"...No." The man replied after a few moments of silence.
"Are you certain?" Flayn came in this time, looking towards him with a slight frown upon her lips "Because I am all but certain that you will start to feel the chill of the night with how bare you are clothed." she leaned forwards and pointed to the blanket "That is only designed to keep those in the wounded tent covered to stop them staring at their bandages, it was not designed to protect them from the cold."
"It is no concern."
"Hmmm." Flayn's hum was dubious "If that is what you believe."
"It is not simply 'what I believe' it is a statement of fact." Goetia declared with absolute surety in his tone of voice "I am aware of a great many spells that can raise my body temperature or protect me from a mild chill. I am sufficiently prepared-"
"None of which would be necessary if you wore moderately thicker clothing." Flayn helpfully replied "I would consider it to be a great deal easier than using spells, it would be less taxing on your magical reserves as well."
"It is unnecessary."
Flayn sighed, shaking her head "You are too dependent on your magic to solve simple problems. I understand it might be easier for you but it would also be much less complicated as well." she pointedly looked at the scab on his left leg, prompting Goetia to scowl ever so slightly in her general direction.
"I have already told you-"
"I reject your opinion because I have my own." Flayn declared with no small amount of smugness in her tone, especially by the way in which Goetia briefly stared at her with irritation before he scoffed loudly and looked to the side. "If you would just allow me to make sure it does not get infected-"
"I can deal with any infection that will occur-"
"But it would save time if I eliminate that possibility now rather than waiting for it to emerge later." Flayn replied back confidently "Would it not?" she tilted her head and smiled at Goetia "I always assumed you to be one who would avoid unnecessary trouble."
Lysithea looked to the side and raised both her brows up her forehead while pursing her lips. Flayn most certainly had her Teacher down to a peg at that, he very much liked avoiding unnecessary work, most of which included repeating himself but it would appear he was making some exceptions.
"...Will you continue to pester me incessantly until you examine this pitiful injury on me?" Goetia turned back to her and narrowed his eyes at her "Will that bring you some small manner of satisfaction? The belief that you have somehow achieved something when you gaze upon a mere cut and can conclude that there is nothing wrong, as I have already stated?"
Flayn stared at him in silence.
"...Fine." Goetia huffed in annoyance, shifting himself slightly on his chair and extending the leg towards her while his attention remained elsewhere "Do as you will if that will stop you from pestering me further."
"Thank you." Flayn, in spite of his own attitude, still maintained her polite demeanour as she leaned down to examine the leg. Though her eyes were initially on the cut under the knee, they soon fell upon the burn marks across his legs, carved into his body in that same strange pattern that was upon his left arm.
Her hands gently clasped his leg and reached towards the cut, squinting her eyes to see it in the fading light.
"Oh, you will be relieved to hear that Seteth has recovered." She spoke in a casual tone as she examined the injury, shifting the topic just enough to get Goetia speaking again. "You visited him earlier so I thought you might wish to learn of how he is doing."
"...Is that so?" Goetia muttered after a few moments before he grunted "I had little doubt he would recover. His injuries were not nearly sufficient enough to prove fatal to him, you yourself are competent enough at Fodlan's healing magic to aid in his recovery."
Flayn chuckled, "I'm glad that you have confidence in both Seteth's and my own abilities." she responded in a genuine tone "Though some were worried I might have been overworking myself, especially considering I was healing others alongside father."
"You would understand your own limits better than others." Goetia's response was toneless "However, I know that humans are somewhat…stubborn." he remarked before he glanced down at her "You and your father and taking after them somewhat."
Flayn stopped for a brief moment, then glanced up at the man with an indiscernible expression on her face, her lip twitched and she returned to examining the cut "If your refusal to seek out aid for something like this is any indication, then perhaps so are you." she whispered back just loud enough for him to hear.
"Hmph." A singular grunt was her response, followed by Goetia shifting his attention away from her and towards the horizon.
"Teacher, might I ask a question?" Lysithea queried him, soon followed by a grunt of affirmation "Thank you. What did you speak with Anna for, considering how she is somewhat desperate for a second meeting?"
Flayn would admit her own curiosity as well, she hadn't imagined Goetia to be the type to interact with merchants in that sort of capacity but the man was full of surprises.
"...I showcased her a method for preserving food for an extended period of time." Goetia commented disinterestedly "It would seem she is taken with the idea. Unsurprising, given the opportunities it opens up for a merchant. Especially in the case of preserving easily perishable goods such as milk and eggs."
"...Why?"
"Because I required an additional source of finance." Goetia explained easily enough "The wage offered by the Church for assisting in the library was enough to fund my most basic of experiments but further, and more advanced, research and creations would require better materials. Something that would be more easily achieved if I had access to greater funding."
Flayn stopped in her movements, looking up to Goetia and leaning back into her seat "That seems usually arduous for you."
"...Excuse me?"
"Given your talent, would it not be easier to simply improve the materials you already possess?" She tilted her head "I heard word from Mercedes that you were able to make gems from the dirt in the pond, were you not?"
Goetia rolled his jaw. "That is true…However they had flaws within their structure that a genuine creation would not possess, it was a cheaper alternative."
"My point remains then, why go through the trouble of seeking out the aid of a merchant in regards to such things when you yourself are capable of achieving a similar result with much cheaper methods." Flayn paused for a moment as she considered something further: "For that matter, are you knowledgeable enough to be conducting trade deals with merchants?"
That prompted an unusual reaction from Goetia, the man pursed his lips ever so slightly. His usual blank expression shifted until it seemed to be more troubled than anything else. "I am knowledgeable enough."
"Really? It does not strike me as being something within your field of expertise."
"...Does it not?" Goetia muttered to himself before he conceded a grunt "An unsurprising comment, not one without some basis. My skill lies within magecraft, knowledge of trading came from…" he trailed off for a few moments, staring off into the distance with an odd look in his eyes.
It was a look that Flayn recognised all too well, she had seen Seteth get it when he brought up her mother from time to time. That small sorrowful look, she wasn't even certain Goetia knew he was making the face in the first place, if he did it wasn't intentional.
"...What was their name?" She asked after a few moments.
"...Whose name?"
"The person who taught you about trading?"
"Taught…" Goetia repeated the word back before shaking his head "Nothing so much as 'taught' she would merely regale me with tales of her exploits and a basic understanding of trading." he remained silent "I'm not sure why…I would never serve to benefit from it in the least, or rather I knew I would not at the time. She would have known that as well."
"Perhaps she just wanted to speak with you about something." Flayn answered, her lip slowly pulling upwards into a gentle smile "Sometimes my mother would regale me with stories of fish. That is why I became…enamoured with them I suppose." she looked out across the horizon "It makes me feel closer to her…"
"Closer…" Goetia whispered quietly to himself. He hadn't considered that, did he really approach Anna and make a business transaction with her for the sole purpose of reminding himself of the Queen of Sheba? It seemed thoroughly incomprehensible to himself. Yet the moment in which he put that knowledge he learned from her so long ago was…
"...Hmmm." Goetia hummed in silence, leaning his body forwards and resting his left arm atop his knee. "...She would not be regarded as my mother." he stated after a few moments of silence, shocking both Flayn and Lysithea at the actual response to their topic of conversation leading to unveiling something about his personal life.
"She was indeed a wife of Solomon, though." He added on "And she had…the greatest level of involvement in my…development. More so than Solomon, now that the thought occurs to me."
"...And she was a merchant." Flayn realised with a slow nod of the head before she looked at Goetia in surprise, then her expression shifted into something more genuine "And you finally were able to put those lessons of hers to good use?"
"...I achieved my goal adequately enough, if your news of Anna seeking me out is any indication." He responded after a moment of hesitation.
Lysithea leaned in from the other side "What was she like?"
"...She was the only one I ever trusted in that Kingdom." He just stated. There wasn't anything that built up to the comment, nor was there any indication of a shift in tone in his voice. He declared it as easily as he would declare the sky was blue.
Flayn found that certainty remarkably sad.
"Was she truly the only one?"
"Your tone of voice makes it sound as though there is issue with that statement." Goetia blandly responded after a moment, however his tone of voice had shifted ever so slightly. Whereas before he had been speaking without much evidence of emotion - save the occasional outburst - he now spoke with what could easily be described as a sense of longing nostalgia.
Lysithea was more recalling his angered outburst before the attack upon the monastery itself, more so with what he said about his people.
The young girl turned her head away from Goetia and looked up towards the sky, watching as it grew darker and darker. Though the stars were not quite present above their heads yet, she imagined it would not be long before then. There was the matter of returning back to the town under the cover of darkness, but she suspected that would be a matter for her future self to deal with.
Her current self was less than willing to leave Goetia alone like this, either because he now appeared to be virtually uncaring as to what he was revealing or because he just had this aura of being…
Lysithea couldn't quite find the words to describe it but the closest she could come to would be when she noticed other students during lessons gazing off at the Professors with expressions that were utterly lost. Seeing that expression on Goetia's face was just…wrong to her.
"I never once…" Goetia trailed off, his faint sigh escaping from his lips "That I could wholeheartedly place my trust within her was something I…never truly expected, nor accounted for." he tilted his head slightly before his expressions turned what could almost be described as resentful "And I do not know if it was because of Solomon that I feel that way or if it is because…" he raised his left hand, twisting it over and gazing over the marks on his skin "...Because that originated from me…I do not know if I shall ever find the answer."
Flayn shook her head at him "If you truly trusted this woman and believed her to be something of a guardian for you, then that feeling can only have originated from your own heart." she assured him, leaning forwards once again to get her face within his field of vision "I loved my own mother not simply because of Seteth or because it was expected…I loved her because of who she was."
Goetia remained silent, his eyes flickering away from the arm and towards her.
"You trusted this woman because of who she was, not because of any other person." Her hand raised itself up and moved towards him, pressing itself on his upper forearm and remaining there in a manner which was designed to be comforting.
The moment her hands touched his skin, and the marks upon it, Goetia withdrew the arm in a sharp movement and an equally swift breath. Flayn froze and Lysithea turned her attention upon him in an instant, the tanned man looked down at Flayn fully with the two of them staring at one another with wide eyes for a few moments.
Then Goetia's lip curled down and he sharply turned his head away from her "...Do not touch me."
Flayn slowly nodded her head in affirmation "...I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable." her voice was genuine and slightly guilty. She then looked at the marks once again "...You told me they did not hurt."
"...They don't." Goetia muttered back in response, his voice quiet and almost empty "It is…" his arm shifted itself to rest upon his lap across his knees so that he could stare down at it "It is simply…Nothing." he grunted and looked back up "It does not matt-"
"I would disagree." Flayn cut him off in a curt tone of voice "And the amount of times you shall dismiss matters that clearly trouble you is not healthy in the least. If something is concerning you, then you should alert someone."
Goetia's face was devoid of emotion, he slowly raised his head to gaze towards the sky before his lip twitched upwards. "...Make my concerns known, you say?" His voice was toneless and Flayn couldn't help but notice the way the atmosphere around him had changed, it held a greater relationship with a taut rope.
"You say that if I am worried about something that I should alert others…" He continued to speak in that toneless voice as his eyes were aimed at the sky "To…declare my worries to the world and set about putting them right…That is what you say I should do?"
Lysithea leaned towards him "Teacher, are you-"
"Kuh…" Goetia made a noise, a breath of air ripping its way from his mouth in a huff before soon being followed by another noise "Kuhaha…" the noises kept coming, forming what could have been described as laughter.
"Hahahahahaha!" Goetia raised his left hand, slapping it over his forehead and covering his eyes, all the while he threw his head back and laughed with every ounce of oxygen he had in his lungs "Hahahahahahaha!" his laughter was roaring, echoing out around them.
The laughter itself was ugly, devoid of any mirth and more in line with the mad cackling of a frenzied man.
"You-you-you tell me to declare my problems to the world!?" He got out amidst his laughter "As if that would make a spec of difference? As if this was a notion that had simply never occurred to me before!? Hahahahahaha!"
Both Flayn and Lysithea found themselves leaning away from him as he continued to roar with laughter, his breaths devolving into a wheezing noise but the attempt to guffaw never once fading.
"You think that never once occurred to me?! You truly believe I would not see what was wrong with the world and try to right it?!" He cried out, rising to his feet and turning around, clasping a hold of the chair with his single hand and swinging it around.
Flayn made a noise of alarm as she threw herself back to avoid being caught in the chin by the piece of furniture, if the crazed look on Goetia's face was any indication as she caught sight of it, it wouldn't have mattered if he did strike her or not. He'd have just continued on anyway.
"Of course I announced my worries!" Goetia's voice dropped into a desperate scream as he hurled the chair over the edge and down into the forest beneath them "I declared my concerns to Solomon! I told him all that horrified me, that gnawed at my heart and burned away at my spirit!" he cried out, whirling around to face Flayn with his eyes wide, "You think I would allow it to continue on!?"
Flayn found herself unable to reply, even if she had a response ready Goetia gave her no time to retort before he continued on.
"We all came to a consensus on how to best right the wrongs of the world! All of us!" His voice cracked, his eyes wide and panicked, his breath laboured and his chest puffing out and falling as he drew breath into his lungs "We all agreed on a single solution! We all did and that was when I was more than this!"
His lips curled into a sneer "You think I would, for a second, allow something I deemed to be wrong to continue onwards!? That I would not try to correct it!?" he pressed his hand into his chest, clenching it and dragging his nails across his skin with such force that he was cutting into himself, drawing trace amounts of blood from the action. "I tried. I tried! I-we-devoted everything to correcting it! We spent years preparing for it…it would have made everything perfect and then it…"
Red eyes started to shake, his attention no longer upon Flayn despite the fact he was staring at her.
"...Then it was all gone…They were all gone…" His left arm dropped to his side "...She was gone…The only one who would still understand everything about my worries…everything about me…and I drove my fist through his heart and you all…" His eyes fell upon her once again, his expression turning ugly as he stepped away from both Flayn and Lysithea "And you would all thank me for killing them…as if that it was something to be proud of…"
His lip wavered as his expression broke into a snarl "You want to know what worries me?" he asked in a quiet hiss "What concerns ail my mind? I killed….I killed them…" he released a broken huff "I killed them…Three thousand years…I threw away three thousand years…for you."
Flayn eyes remained wide, her gaze unbroken as Goetia let out an empty laugh.
"I knew Sitri for three thousand years and in all that time, we were of one mind…we were of one mind. Closer than any family you could ever come to comprehend and I…I…" His posture went loose "...I killed him for humans I met barely a few months ago." he declared in a hollow tone of voice "...And I don't even know why."
A scoff emerged from him "Saving lives? What a poor joke…I spent three thousand years watching humans die, so why should you all mean any more to me than they did? I hated watching them die but moved on and I would move on from watching Sitri kill you as well…It is not as though you have suddenly been freed of anything now that Sitri is dead…"
He raised his left hand up, dropping his head down and clasping his hand over his face and allowed space for his eyes to peer out from between his fingers. "I knew them…I knew everything about them. Every aspect of their mind and every action they ever took…From the moment we entered this world to the moment I put my fist through his chest and ended his life…I knew how much they feared dying and I killed them all the same…Their final thoughts would have been the same as all those humans who perished…"
"Even as they denounced me as the monster that Solomon is…They would have raged at their encroaching death…and I did that to them for humans? Humans!?"
Legs gave out from beneath him, dropping to his knees in the dirt and reaching out his single hand to break his fall "Hahahaha…I killed him for nothing. I'm still alive for nothing…Everything I was perished at the temple with the rest of my brethren…I'm…I'm…"
That was right.
That was exactly it.
He was nothing.
He had nothing.
His aspirations were gone.
His dreams burned to dust.
The one human he thought could understand him, he had killed himself.
And he couldn't even kill Fujimaru Ritsuka at the very end.
"...Why am I still alive?" He asked in a quiet tone of voice "Learn why I failed? Don't be stupid!" he cursed himself, his fingers curling up into a fist and dragging lines through the dirt "I know why they said no! I knew the second she said she wouldn't agree with me! Why did she have to say that?! Why didn't you…why couldn't you just understand!? Why did you make me…"
"Why?" His voice escaped his lips, almost breathless. "Why…"
"...Why?" He asked a final time, not truly expecting an answer but still felt the need to ask the question.
That truly was the crux of the matter.
Why?
Why did he have to care for these humans so much in the first place? Even now he couldn't help but feel that strong sense of attachment to them, the pity remained and the love remained. He was weaker, a shadow of himself, and he was still beyond them.
But he couldn't do anything.
He couldn't do anything with all the power of the world and he couldn't do anything right now.
Failure after failure after failure.
"...What's the point of being here…?"
Liquid dripped down from his face, landing upon the dirt and sinking in. He remained silent, watching as more droplets fell down around him.
For a moment, he thought it was raining, then he felt a coldness run down his cheek.
Using his single hand, he pushed himself onto his knees and raised his head upwards, his left hand drifted towards his cheek and dusted across the surface before drawing itself back. He ignored the red now coating the tips of his nails and the filth now painted across his palm.
His singular focus remained upon the clear liquid on his index finger.
The hand went back and rubbed across his cheek once again before pulling away, seeing more of the liquid upon his hands "Wha-what?" his voice cracked, confusion seeping into his words as he failed to comprehend what this was. "What is this?"
The water continued to stream forth from his eyes without any sign that it was going to stop, his vision starting to become blurry as his hand went back and rubbed away at it in an attempt to douse the tide, ignoring the fact he was also rubbing dirt over his face "Why am I…?"
His expression turned more annoyed as he moved his arm back to his face and rubbed away the fresh tide leaking from his eyes, the fact it continued to flow only served to irritate him further.
"Stop." He commanded himself, willing his body to cease this activity. "Stop." he muttered again as he continued to rub away at his face, then eventually held the hand pressed up against his face "Stop…stop…stop…stop…just…stop…"
The fact his body clearly wasn't obeying him made him feel cold inside, a sense of helplessness gripped him. He could control the elements of the word, heal injuries that would otherwise prove fatal and even in this state he was far beyond anything Fodlan could offer in terms of magical prowess.
And he couldn't get his body to cease leaking from his eyes?
"Cease this pathetic display…" He ordered himself once again, his teeth gritted and lips peeled back. His body refused to obey him.
Warmth encircled him, something pressing into the front of his chest and slowly snaking around his body until it was wrapped around him and laying against his back. With his arm in the way of his eyes, he had no true idea of what was gripping him and the need to pull himself away was virtually non-existent.
No, it just wasn't there.
He didn't care.
It wasn't even a case of avoiding contact, he just didn't care what happened now.
Whether this was an attempt to kill him or not, he doubted he would even be able to muster the strength to stop them, at least mentally.
Something rested itself upon his right shoulder, a scent that wasn't unpleasant filled his nose and a soft sensation pressed up against his cheek. His forearm slowly peeled away from his eyes and they flickered down, soon finding his vision filled with green.
It took him a split second to realise that it was Flayn who had wrapped her arms around him and pressed her chin into his shoulder, her hands resting on his back and seemingly uncaring to having her knees pressed into the mud.
"...What are you doing?" Goetia asked after a moment of silence, some trace element of heat entering his voice although it sounded forced even to him. "Release-"
"No." Flayn denied him before he could even finish his sentence, rather she seemed to tighten her grip around him. "I think not."
Lysithea stood behind the girl, her own expression looked semi-surprised with her hand outstretched before she slowly lowered it to her side and started to approach him from the other side.
"Get off me." Goetia once again commanded "...Don't touch…" he noticed Lysithea getting closer to him, his attention fell upon her "What are you…?"
Lysithea maintained a blank expression as she stopped by his side, opting to stare down at him before she slowly lowered herself into a crouch and stared into his eyes.
There was something about his gaze that made him thoroughly unwilling to look at her any longer, the image of a girl with pink hair and one visible eye overlapped and caused his throat to tighten and his head to snap away from her, the end result was unfortunately turning into Flayn's hair and having some of her hair in his eye.
He flinched and puffed out through his nose to get the hair away from him.
His…student…wasn't nearly as physical as Flayn, though her proximity and the blank look upon her face was almost as impactful upon him. His chest tightened and he found himself utterly unwilling to be near either of them. Especially in this state, the last ebbs of his pride demanded that he free himself from their presence and maintain whatever semblance of grandeur he had left.
Except, what was the point?
What good would it do him now?
What good had anything ever done him?
His left hand dropped down and thudded against the dirt.
Flayn held him tight in her embrace, not saying a word as she looked over his shoulder.
"...Why?"
"...Because I don't like seeing people in pain." Flayn honestly replied "That is all it is."
"...Sitri tried to kill your father."
"I know."
"They were of the same race as me."
"That was inferred, yes."
"...They killed people, put them through the very pain you do not like seeing…"
"That is indeed true, yes." Flayn answered him with a soft voice, her breath tickled his ear and caused him to shiver slightly.
"...What are you doing then…? You should hate me…"
Flayn remained silent for a few moments before she hummed quietly "If I hated you for the actions of your race…then I would also hate people for hurting each other." she pointed out "It would not make sense in the least."
"I am not like people. We were of one mind-"
"If that was true…Then you would not have stopped them." Flayn remarked "And that it brings you so much pain…That saddens me you were put in that position. Forced to choose between us and your family…it is not a choice I can understand and I am not sure I want to understand." she exhaled "All the same…Thank you."
Goetia stiffened "Tha-"
"For saving my father." Flayn tightened her hold "For saving my family. Thank you."
"...Not for killing Sitri?"
"I won't thank you for that." Flayn responded in a voice barely above a whisper "Never for that. Even if he hurt father, even if he killed so many people…He was your family and I will not thank you for putting yourself through that for us."
Goetia remained silent, staring over Flayn's shoulder and slowly raising his eyes upwards.
"...The stars are out." He simply commented.
Flayn chuckled quietly "Is that so?" she shifted beside him, turning her head skywards "So they are…Would you like to use your telescope?"
"...Hmmm." Goetia's hum was quiet.
"...Can I use the telescope, Teacher?" Lysithea asked after a moment, Goetia's right eye slowly turned to her and gazed at her out of the corner "I can help with finding the stars."
"...If…you want."
Flayn smiled to herself as she slowly released Goetia from the hug, stepping away from him and allowing him the freedom to move once again. The girl picked herself back up and dusted down her legs, staring at the mud on her trousers and letting out a mirthful huff of air "Father might be upset about my leggings."
"...That is your own fault." Goetia commented after a moment, climbing back to his own feet and exhaling "The result of your own choice."
Flayn nodded her head unashamedly "Quite true." she looked back towards him and smiled "Though I do not feel as though I regret this in the least."
Goetia's expression was tense, as if her words themselves were incomprehensible to him before his features flattened out into their usual blank form. His eyes looked over the top of her head as he made his way back to the direction he had initially been sitting before waving his hand and forming another chair of mud.
The man took a seat and looked up, watching as more stars gradually started to fill in the night sky. They would have to wait a little longer until it was truly a spectacle, but he could at least wait that long. Not like there was anything else to do.
For Flayn? She figured best that Goetia just needed company.
Not even anything as complicated as a friend or a student.
He just needed someone to be around him.
She perched herself on the seat next to him and set her eyes upon the gleaming night sky. She could fulfil that role, easily enough.
She might have had a few more questions for him, and she imagined that Lysithea did as well, but for now the two of them could agree on this simple fact. Goetia didn't need more questions, he just needed something he didn't have to think too heavily upon.
And stargazing sounded like a relatively pleasant hobby to her.
AN: The Goetia depression arc hits a new point!
…He cries.
Well, he cries but doesn't realise he's crying because he's just letting go at this point.
So expect a couple more breakdowns but he isn't going to become a gibbering wreck.
Obviously he's not going to be helped after barely a conversation, this is just him actually letting people know that he's in a mentally bad place.
Omake: I'm too stressed for this job.
"And it's everything…" Seteth exhaled, his hands falling into his face and his voice coming out as a muffle through his palms "Everytime I try to bring some semblance of order to the Monastery I am rewarded with but a token victory." the hands came away and dropped down to his knees, his body hunched forwards with his posture absolutely atrocious.
"I just cannot help but wonder if I am perhaps wasting my time in even attempting to bring something even elucidating control to these people."
The man next to him nodded his head several times "I can understand that much." the blonde fellow drummed his fingers on the countertop "I have some subordinates that will just do whatever they please despite what I tell them." he sighed, shaking his head "I will gift them small nuggets of wisdom and then they stare at me for a few moments before they will go off and do their own thing."
Seteth managed a weak chuckle "I wish it was something so simple as that…"
"They're away doing it right now." The man - Goredolf - muttered as he threw a hand over his shoulder "I'm supposed to be here co-ordinating them but Fujimaru just said 'Don't worry Director, I have this under control' and then just walked out without even so much as a word of warning!"
"Yes, yes…it's always the-Fujimaru Ritsuka?" Seteth parroted the name back and looked to the man sitting on his left "Black haired, followed by a young girl in armour?"
"Mash Kyrielight." The blonde with glasses further down the seating line spoke up in a dutiful tone, the relatively plain looking individual turned his head and gave Seteth a puzzling expression "Wait…so you've met them already?"
"Outstanding." Goredolf palmed his forehead "I explicitly tell them not to go around making needless interactions with the locals and the first thing he does is start telling them all his name?" he dropped both his hands onto the countertop "It's infuriating to me!"
"Hahahaha!" A jolly voice chuckled to Seteth's right, a man in a long black leather overcoat and shiny dark hair combed over with slightly pale skin, he was busy working something into a smoking pipe as he laughed "That is simply how operations are run with the Chaldeans, though I suppose you are well aware of this by now."
"Don't start with me on that again, Holmes." Goredolf muttered to him "Everything we do is-wait, is this even a smoking environment?"
Holmes paused for a brief moment, ceasing his efforts to put weed into his pipe and made a face "...I can't imagine a tavern having an issue with a little smoke."
"If that is some manner of burnable plant, they are currently banned by the Church for their dangerous effects on the mind." Seteth commented in a slightly dull tone of voice, as it stood this was a rather tame event compared to what he was used to. It was actually a little relieving.
"Really?" Holmes looked mildly put off about that before he sighed and emptied out the crushed up plant matter into a small fabric bag before pocketing both of the items once again. "I suppose I shall have to smoke in the border-"
"You're not taking drugs in the Storm Border, what is wrong with you!?" Goredolf exclaimed with wide eyes "You're barely helpful enough when it matters most, the last thing we need is you blitzed out of your mind on drugs."
"I shall have you know that the amount I take is well within acceptable parameters." Holmes proudly declared "Even Nurse Nightingale agrees with me on that front."
"The recommended amount by the church is none." Seteth wryly pointed out as he moved the flagon closer to his lips and sipped at it "Though my role as advisor to the Archbishop demands I must act…I am currently finding myself lacking in the motivation to do so."
The blonde man with glasses gave him an understanding nod of the head "I get that feeling sometimes. Trust me, it'll pass after a while. You've just got to find a goal and stick with it."
"As I have said, I am just overburdened in recent weeks…between the sudden arrival of Fujimaru Ritsuka and the already existing problem of Goetia's insane habits-" Everyone around him started to cough violently at the mention of the second name, not that Seteth was paying attention at that point "-it is a challenge to even understand the problems. How am I supposed to react when the Archbishop waves around a magic wand and declares herself to be Sailor Star and on a quest to battle evil?"
Holmes finished coughing, giving Seteth a bewildered look before he opened his mouth - paused - and then closed it again. "I shall tell you truthfully that even I do not have the answer to that."
"Me neither, the difference is that between the two of us, I am likely the most important in that situation."
Goredolf shook his head and turned to Seteth with a slightly paler than usual expression "I'm sorry…did you say Goetia?"
"Not you as well…" Seteth quietly grumbled to himself as he scrunched up his face and raised the flat of his hand in the direction of the blonde aristocrat "I shall not partake in any other event that directly involves Goetia until I have seen a rise in my wage. I am not currently paid enough to put up with the antics of this place…It is an academy for learning, not a circus troupe."
Goredolf stared at him in silence for a moment before he smiled, sniffing once "I understand what you mean…it gets worse during all those summer holidays and Christmas disasters…"
"Don't forget GudaGuda…" The glasses man shivered "That never not freaks me out."
"...Guda…Guda…" Seteth whispered the name to himself as his lips scrunched up "I believe that was occurring at the Monastery at the moment."
"...Wait…seriously?"
"Why do you think I am down here? I wanted to get away from those horrifying gremlin creatures and my daughter making friends with a pink pillar of meat that is lined with red eyes."
"...That sounds like GudaGuda alright." The blonde man remarked with a sigh "Explained why Fujimaru and Mash haven't gotten back to us, even with Da Vinci along for the ride this time."
"My technical advisor is out in danger and we're sitting around drinking booze!?" Goredolf roared as he got to his feet "Come Meuniere, Holmes!" He turned around and pointed to the door "We're heading to this Monastery!"
"Ahem." Goredolf paused as he looked over his shoulder and saw the tavern owner staring at him with an expectant look and his hand outstretched.
"Ah, right. Of course." Goredolf nodded with an understanding expression "Meuniere, pay the man."
Meuniere did a double take "Huh? I don't have the currency these people use! You just said to put it on your tab!"
Goredolf wordlessly turned to Holmes, his face now starting to show clear signs of worriment.
Holmes regarded him with a blank look and a shrug of the shoulders.
"Ermm…" Goredolf turned back to the bar keeper and offered him a half smile "Now…see here…"
"I'll pay for them." Seteth offered as he reached for his purse back "I'm already figuratively and literally cleaning up after Goetia and his companions, I might as well add financially to that list…"