Hey, everyone, one week after posting. Not too shabby, huh? Things are finally gonna calm down now after the hush climaxes of last chapter. Let me address a few reviews real quick.
Thank you all so much. Your reviews are an excellent motivator. And for some of you, I will just say I was a bit proud for the coffee joke. I was a bit unsure, but it's VERY in line for HelluvaBoss. And as for the questions for Jack's… partner. Let's just say, that after the very end, it's not a coincidence I made sure to release this near Valentine's Day.
Also, there might be some internal monologues in this chapter that seem a bit harsh on certain characters. I will preface this by saying that there's not a single Helluverse character I hate, I just think that Jack wouldn't have a very high opinion of them.
Also, has seriously been acting up. Sometimes it's fine, other times it acts like I still only have ten chapters and that I haven't updated since November. Seriously, Fanfic, what's happening with your servers?
But you guys don't want to hear my ramblings, you want the chapter.
So on with the show!
Jack raised the cup to his lips, letting the warm liquid rush into his mouth and soothe his throat. He let out a content sigh. He was fortunate that this café served tea as well as coffee. However, it didn't taste quite right. The flavors felt dulled, like the liquid had been steeped too long.
Oh well, tea was tea. Perhaps Jack could find the proper ingredients somewhere and make himself a better cup later. For now, it would be rude to insult his beverage, especially in front of the demon that paid for it.
Speaking of Verosika, she was currently nursing two very large paper cups of coffee. Well 'nurse' was an inaccurate as she was more taking giant gulping swallows of the black liquid, only breathing in the short time she would take to switch between the cups.
"Is that healthy?" Jack questioned. It looked like she was currently trying to drown herself without an ocean.
"She just gets like this sometimes," Vortex spoke up. He was partaking in his own beverage much more responsibly. A cinnamon swirl latte with three shots of caramel, he called it. Jack could smell the sugar from across the table. "Best to just ride it out."
The three former partners in battle had taken refuge at the outdoor patio of a café in Lust. There was a light drizzle about the city, casting a violet fog through the sky, contrasting against the shining buildings. Jack and his companions were saved from the wetness by hiding underneath a large umbrella that covered their table and then some.
Jack shifted in his robes, grateful that he was allowed to retrieve his original clothes and sandals. He even found his hat, which now rested on the table next to his cup of tea.
The three sat in relative silence, which was just fine with Jack. He had never been much of a conversationalist. Even growing up, playing with the other children of the chiefs and leaders he stayed with, he didn't really talk much unless necessary. And "small talk" was nearly a foreign concept. But that was fine with Jack. Actions spoke louder than words.
"So," Evidently, Verosika didn't share the sentiment. She slammed her cups on the table. "What's the deal?"
Jack paused, tea halfway to his lips for another sip. He lowered his cup as he stared at the succubus. "The deal?"
"Yeah," Verosika leaned back in her seat, occasionally popping her spine as she stretched. "What's the deal with you and that Aku dick?"
"Yeah, I've been wondering about that too," Vortex spoke up, putting down his latte.
Jack folded his hands within his sleeves. "There is not much to tell. Aku has been a blight on my world since before I was born. When I was but eight years old, he ravaged my homeland and slaughtered my people. I have trained years for the day I would finally fulfill my destiny and slay him."
"Yeah, yeah, I got that part," Verosika rolled her eyes. "I meant who the hell is he? How can he just brainwash an entire crowd of demons just like that?"
That gave Jack pause. He pondered everything he had ever been told about Aku. From the legends he studied in the archives, to the stories his father would tell him when he was a boy.
"I know not the true origin of Aku," Jack stared at his steaming cup on the table. He watched as the vapor wafted and twisted in the air. He could almost see Aku's grinning face in the steam, mocking him. "My father believed he was true evil given form. A plague brought to life by the sinister forces of the universe."
"Ominous," Vortex took a sip.
"Which is just a nice way of saying that told us jack-shit." Verosika scoffed.
"It matters not to me," Jack's hand went to rest on his sheathed blade. "No matter where he came from, he shall fall by my sword."
"Whatever. All I know is that jackass owes me a new stage."
"I thought you were renting."
"I know what I said."
Jack turned to the succubus' bodyguard. Vortex only shrugged and rolled his one good eye.
"So what's the plan now, Jack?" the hellhound joined the conversation. "You got a plan to find the guy?"
Jack shook his head. "Aku is a devious one. To try and track him down within the seven rings of Hell, while he has access to all his evil powers? It would be a fool's venture."
Jack grasped his cup, his grip feeling tighter than usual. "However, I know he has made a personal base of my homeland." It didn't matter that Aku was now in Hell, the demon was too prideful to leave his Earth empire behind forever. "If I can find a way back to my home, he will have no choice but to confront me. And that is when I will end him."
"Which is why you came to me, thinking I could send you there," Verosika deduced. "But then that blew up in your face, and now you're back to square one."
"Not quite," Jack countered. "Thanks to you, I know where to look next. The demon Asmodeus."
Both succubus and hellhound froze at the name. They both sat up straighter in their seats, their drinks briefly forgotten.
"You, uh- You sure about that, Jack?" Vortex rubbed the back of his neck. "Asmodeus isn't exactly your typical demon."
"No shit he isn't," Verosika nearly yelled. "He's a Sin. As in, one of the Seven Deadly Sins. If that sounds scary as fuck, that's because it's supposed to."
Jack nodded. He thought the name sounded familiar. "He is one of the few demons in Hell openly versed in traveling to the human world. I am not afraid."
"Your funeral," Verosika scoffed.
"Jack, listen," Vortex grabbed the samurai by the shoulder. The hellhound made dense eye contact. "I owe you, so I'm giving you fair warning. I don't think you're gonna find what you're looking for."
The bodyguard looked down. "I've never met the guy myself, but I've got… friends who have. The dude runs a tight ship. He's a perfectionist that doesn't take shortcuts or risks with any of his work."
Vortex shrugged. "I might just be me, but that doesn't sound like the kind of guy to mess with alternate realities when the one works just fine. You might end up risking your neck only for him to end up just like Verosika."
"Excuse me," Verosika narrowed her eyes. "There is no one just like me."
"Course, boss." Vortex rolled his eye but nodded all the same.
Jack stewed over the hellhound's words. Truth be told, Vortex made some excellent points. If Verosika and all the succubus had the same kind of crystal, why would Asmodeus have any other type of spell? Why would the Sin have any interest in finding Jack's home when he already has one human world to corrupt?
Jack shook his head. "I cannot risk even the chance he could help me. I must speak with Asmodeus."
Speaking of which, Jack looked towards his two pseudo-companions. "Would either of you know where to find him?"
Vortex winced. "Yeah, that's the other big snag in your plan."
"Sins don't really tend to stick in the same place for too long," Verosika elaborated. "Granted, if you wanted to track down any of them, Ol' Ozzy is probably your best bet. Sometimes I just catch the big guy at his club."
"But it's not always a guarantee," Vortex shook his head. The hellhound leaned back in his seat, suddenly looking like he found it very uncomfortable. "And there's also that other thing…"
Jack tilted his head. "What is it?"
Even through a layer of dark fur, Vortex looked very pale. He was trying very hard not to look Jack in the eyes. But even a brief glance at the samurai was enough to catch his fierce determination. Vortex sighed, knowing he would be fighting a losing battle.
"Look, neither of you guys heard this from me, alright?" Vortex leaned forward, keeping his voice low. "For a few days now, all the Sins have been… off the grid."
Verosika seemed uninterested, she just scrolled on her hellphone as if she had already known this news.
Jack, however, leaned forward. "What has happened?"
"About a week ago, I overheard… a rumor, that one of the Sins called all the others for a meeting. Since then, they've practically disappeared off the seven rings." Vortex sat up, staring at the cinnamon swirl in his latte. "Nobody's seen them."
Jack scratched his chin. "Where did they go?"
"Probably one of their fancy secret meeting rooms," Verosika had suddenly pulled a nail file out of nowhere. "They're just arguing their heads off and getting nothing done."
"For an entire week?"
"Don't let Mr. tinfoil collar fool you," Verosika gestured at her bodyguard. "This shit happens all the time down here. The big bad Sins go missing for a month, people start to freak out, the Sins pop back up to reveal that they just spent the last three weeks bitching at each other and going round in circles. Nothing of consequence comes from this, and we all move on with our lives."
Jack blinked. "They bicker among themselves for… how long?"
"To be fair, it's hard to keep track of time when you don't need to eat, sleep, or drink," Vortex shrugged. "But… I dunno. Something about it felt different this time. They actually seemed nervous."
"Oh? And how would you know?" the succubus gave the hellhound a light suspicious side eye.
"Uh- the point is that you probably won't find Asmodeus even if you go looking in all the right places," Even Jack could see how sloppily Vortex changed the subject. "Sorry man, I think it just might be a waste of time."
Jack tried to stop himself from tightening his grip on his cup of tea. Any tighter, and he would shatter the ceramic clay. He should have known it would not be that simple. Any lead he found came with a giant asterisk that lead to nothing… At least this one would just require patience.
"Very well," Jack folded his hands in his lap. "Do you know when the Sins shall return?"
"Who knows?" Verosika rolled her eyes. "I've never really given shit about politics. I'm too sexy to care about stuff like that."
The argument made no sense, but Jack understood the final conclusion. His journey was beginning to feel hopeless. His head became heavy as his shoulders slumped. Even his tea lost its enchanting aroma as it turned stone-cold.
Verosika Mayday briefly lowered her sunglasses. The samurai across from her looked the part of an ancient mythical hero when he was on the stage, fearlessly facing off endless hordes of demons. Now, he looked like a starved kitten that had been dragged through a malfunctioning washing machine. It'd be almost funny if it weren't so pathetic.
"Ugh, fine," the samurai perked up at Verosika's groan.
The succubus pinched the bridge of her… wait, did she not actually have a nose? Never mind that, she was talking. "Look, I'd rather hot wax my nethers with lava rocks than try to figure out whatever drama is happening with the upper crust assholes, BUT…" she shrugged. "If I happen to hear anything about Ozzy or… magic Japan portals I guess, I'll shoot you a text."
Jack felt a small smile grace his face. "Truly?"
"But don't get the wrong idea," Verosika leveled a glare. "Don't think I'm doing this because I owe you or some shit. I don't owe anything to anyone. Far as I'm concerned, your little heroics today were you taking care of the beef that you dragged down here."
Jack nodded. Yes, some may see it different, but the fact was the concert was just an unfortunate side effect of Jack's ongoing war with Aku. Jack just did what he could to quell the flames of their inferno.
"But that Aku dipshit still wrecked my show," Verosika clenched her fist, crushing her paper cup and spilling coffee all over the table. "And if I can't kill that asshole myself, the next best thing is make sure you kill him as fast as possible."
Jack bowed his head. "I would be forever in your debt."
Verosika slid her sunglasses back onto face, taking another sip of her coffee. "Whatever."
"Hey, man," Vortex spoke up. Jack turned to the hellhound. "Same goes for me. I may not know much about fancy portals or giant shapeshifting mega demons, but I'll make sure to keep my ears low to the ground. I still owe you one."
Friends carry no debt.
Jack bit his tongue before the phrase could slip it out. It was something he and his companions repeated to one another during their travels and his training. Jack had almost said it out of habit.
He would be wise to keep himself in check. Although these two were great companions in his battle against the Music Man, it would be hasty to refer to these demons as friends.
Still, of all the demons Jack had met so far, one could do much, MUCH worse than these two.
Jack smiled. He was foolish to give up hope so easily. Even if they were unorthodox, he still had allies in Hell. And not just Verosika and her bodyguard, there was Prince Stolas, and Princess Morningstar and Vaggie. All of them offered great help and support in his quest. It would be an insult to them for Jack to give up so soon.
"So," Vortex's voice broke Jack's musings. "Since Asmodeus is off the table for now, you got a plan B?"
Jack pondered upon that. An excellent question. The Ring of Lust had turned out unfruitful for the most part. He was able to discover Aku's return to Hell, as well as stop one of the demon's dastardly plans. But as for his efforts to return home? A dryer well, there was not.
Jack was exhausted too. His battle with Stylbator had taken a lot out of him. Perhaps he should return to the Hazbin Hotel to recuperate and regain his strength before attempting another search.
Although… seeing all the imps at that concert stirred something in Jack's mind. It had been a while since Jack had been at I.M.P. and conversed with its… colorful staff. He would do well to drop by and ensure that they had been following the conditions he had left them.
"For now, I shall return to the Pentagram in the Ring of Pride," Jack said at last.
"The Pride Ring, huh?" Verosika seemed to be mulling something over in head before she sighed. She reached into her usual method of storage. (Jack averted his eyes out of instinct, but it was concerning how quickly he was getting used to this.) She pulled out a black, laminated card before tossing it over to Jack.
The samurai caught it between his fingers before overlooking the strange piece of parchment. There were words inked out in gold against the black paper. ZeeZi's. Underneath the words was more gold ink depicting numbers and letters, an address. "What is this?"
"A club," Verosika flipped a silky piece of white hair. "A pretty decent one too. Who knows? If you're ever in the neighborhood, you might just find some lunatic who knows what you're looking for."
Jack nodded. It was sound logic. As he said before, taverns were the best place to find information from all sorts of customers and travelers. Perhaps a more famed place of refreshment would serve Jack better than his first bar experience in Hell.
"Thank you," Jack tucked the card away in his robes. "I will make sure to investigate after I've properly checked in on some associates."
"Associates? You?" Verosika suddenly snorted. "What 'associates' could someone like you possibly have in the Pride Ring?"
Jack felt like he had heard that comment before, but paid the sense of déjà vu no mind. "There are some imps who I have an agreement with. They run a business within the district known as Imp City."
Verosika froze, her coffee halfway up to her lip.
Vortex's eyes widened with a sudden stark realization. His ears flattened against his head with a whimper. "Oh no."
"Imp City?" Behind blank glasses, it was still plain to see Verosika's expression had grown darker than Jack had ever seen it. "The only imps who run their own business there are… I.M.P."
Jack suddenly felt very uncomfortable. He shuffled in his seat. "Yes," he nodded. "You know of them?"
The last cup in Verosika's hand suddenly exploded, coffee showering Verosika and everything within a three-foot radius. The succubus didn't seem to care. She sat there, the tattered remains of what once a coffee cup squeezed into a vice-like grip. That was was somehow more vioulent than the first time.
"Yeah," she muttered. "You could say that."
The rain had stopped, Jack almost wished it didn't as it would have done something to take away from this sudden eerie silence.
Vortex held his head in his paws. "One week…" he weakly muttered. "Nearly a whole week without talking about him…"
"So you mean…" Verosika dropped the paper corpse to the floor. She slammed down both hands on the table. "To tell me…"
Jack felt the urge to lean back into his chair, then he leaned ever further. Verosika had climbed onto the patio table, crawling across just to leer down at Jack.
"You actually work for that SHIT STAIN of a demon, Blitzo?!" Verosika hissed out as her sunglasses fell face, revealing glowing eyes alit with fury.
Jack blinked. Verosika actually knew Blitz? And quite personally, by the sound of it. It actually made quite a bit of sense, given how much the succubus reminded Jack of the imp in attitude and vulgarity.
"Did he send you?" Verosika growled. "Did he send you just to fuck with me because you two are all buddy-buddy-"
"Never."
The succubus blinked. Jack didn't blame her. He almost surprised himself with the speed in which he answered. But the more his mind caught up with his mouth, he realized it was true.
"I would never dishonor myself by submitting to the will of that demon," Jack sat up in his chair. "He is a callous, vulgar, and disgusting creature. I tolerate him because conflict would jeopardize my standing with a great ally. Nothing more."
His tone was harsh, but he meant every word. Jack had his reservations about every member of I.M.P. But something about the imp known as Blitz truly made his skin crawl. Perhaps it was because he was the ringleader, the one to spearhead their heinous business of taking human life.
Perhaps it was because he was the loudest about his bloodlust. The way he took such pride in ending a life. Even if it was a necessity, Jack could never imagine himself boasting such joy in bloodshed like Blitz did. To say nothing of how uncaring the imp was to the human children, giving no thought to their safety or what could happen to them.
Blitz was someone who thought they could do as they please. Someone who committed heinous acts without a care in the world because they thought they can always escape the consequences. That was the kind of person Jack despised.
Jack was so caught up in his inner ramblings, he didn't even notice that Verosika had been quiet for quite some time. The succubus looked much calmer than before. In fact, she looked downright pleased.
A smile had broken across her face. A different smile to the flirtatious one she showed off when she tried to seduce him. She rested her chin upon her cupped hands, he high-heeled boots kicked back and forth behind her.
"Oh, don't mind me," she smiled. "Do go on."
Jack only stared. What was happening right now? "Uh…"
"Boss lady?" Like divine intervention, Vortex cut in. "I think Jack probably has to get going. Long way to the Pride Ring and all."
"Yes!" Jack jumped to his feet, grateful for the way out. "I must make haste if I wish to make it before nightfall."
Verosika's face seemingly fell into disappointment, before it rose again with a sly smirk. "Tell you what, why don't we give you a ride back?"
"What?"
"What?" Jack and the hellhound nearly spoke at the same time.
"Vortex," Verosika tossed a fluffy set of keys to the hellhound before hopping off the table. "Bring the car around front. And make sure there's room for our samurai guy."
Vortex looked down at the keys in his paws before looking up at his superior, like he wanted to say more. But he just sighed before shrugging his massive shoulders, and began to walk off.
"There is no need for this," Jack tried to protest. "You have shown me enough generosity as it is-"
"Don't get your thong in a knot over it," Verosika coolly slid her sunglasses back on. "I was heading over to the Pride Ring to check on some business partners anyway. Besides…"
She slung an arm around Jack's shoulder. "On the way there, you can tell me more about how much Blitzo sucks."
Jack sighed, but then his ears caught on to an additional pseudo-suffix. "Excuse me, but did you say Blitzo? I was under the impression his name was Blitz."
"Oh, honey, do I have some stories to tell you."
In flash of blue lightning, Vox sparked through the security camera and into his private penthouse. The TV demon groaned as he dusted off his $2000 suit. Another day of dealing with idiots.
One would think his powers of mind control would make things simple but no. Idiots were gonna be idiots no matter who's in charge. The last thing Vox needed right now was another headache.
Multiple lightbulbs suddenly burst as they sparked with red energy. The room darkened and thunder boomed across a clear sky. A massive shadow loomed over Vox from behind. "VOX!"
A headache just like this… Vox put himself on mute as he sucked a groan through his digital teeth. He put on his best businessman's smile before turning around.
"Lord Aku," Vox wanted to shoot himself for unironically calling someone 'Lord' but that seemed just the kind of talk to butter up this guy's ego. "What can I do for you, this hellish evening?"
The butter didn't seem to be working. Aku's green face was twisted into a permanent frown. "Do not try to feign innocence, Vox," Aku hissed. "You have not been upholding your end of the deal."
"In what regard?" Vox made a show of checking his nails. "I've got about six hours of footage of you terrorizing sinners. All of which is being edited down to its best bits as we speak."
"I've already tossed out some of the grizzlier stuff as part of breaking news," Vox shrugged. "Really build up the mystery before the big reveal, you know? Pretty soon, you'll be seeing your horrifying face on every screen in the pentagram."
"Yes," Aku sneered. "You at least seem somewhat competent in spreading the word of Aku. HOWEVER!"
Aku lowered his massive head to leer at the TV demon. "You were also tasked with keeping track of the goings-on of the samurai. I was to be informed of his whereabouts and his plans at all times."
The shogun of sorrow stroked his beard, trying on a facade of indifference. "So imagine my surprise when I am in the Ring of Lust. I am minding my own business, enslaving a few thousand souls to my will, WHEN I FEEL THE STING OF THAT SAMURAI'S ACCURSED BLADE!"
Aku slammed a massive fist to the ground, shattering one of Vox's favorite glass tables.
The overlord only spared a passing glance to the broken glass before turning back to Aku. "The Lust Ring, huh? Yeah, we figured he was headed that way. Picked up a few posts of him headed out this morning."
Aku frowned, clearly bothered by Vox's apparent lack of intimidation. He swirled around the leader of the Vees in a great black mass before reappearing behind Vox.
"I would not act so care-free, flat-faced one," Aku growled. "Our alliance is only one of convenience. If I deemed it necessary, there would be nothing to stop me from eradicating you where you stood."
"Well, I'm so sorry we missed you, sir," Vox drummed his clawed fingers together. "You see, we would've just loved to tell you where the samurai was going. Unfortunately, you didn't exactly give us a phone number to contact you."
Aku blinked, as if the demon hadn't even considered that. Yup, fossil of a fossil.
"There's also the little speed bump," Vox casually dusted his vest. "Of how we can't get our tools down to the Lust Ring in order to track him. A problem, I believe, you promised to solve as part of YOUR end of the bargain."
Aku hissed. His massive form shook like an earthquake before he started to pulsate and convulse. His massive black arms cracked and creaked as they shrunk back. His already massive body stretched out even longer, gaining thick mass as a layer of black shining scales sprouted over the skin. Aku's face elongated and stretched out, the demon's green face disappearing into a big black snout.
A puff of hot air was blown into Vox's face, fogging up the screen. Great, now he was going to have to commission a wipe-down later.
Vox was now standing before a massive black dragon, its coiled tail taking up the space of nearly his entire penthouse.
"You have but ten breaths." Aku's voice rumbled from the dragon's mouth. "To give me something that may yet prove useful."
"Otherwise," Aku gnashed his mouth, showing off thousands of rows of teeth sharper than the deadliest swords. "I tear your annoying little soul to pieces."
Vox clasped his hands behind his back. He couldn't afford to show one single iota of fear. If he let his nerves show, he would lose all form of control in this partnership. But Vox had to admit, this did not look good.
Even if the overlord couldn't die without a holy weapon, Aku made it plenty clear how thorough he could be in making the TV feel pain. Dammit, Vox was hoping to hold onto his trump card for a later date, but now it seemed it was the only thing that could save his circuitry.
"How about where the samurai lives?" Vox grinned.
Aku's snarling paused. "What?"
"Oh, yeah," Vox nodded. "This samurai of yours seems to have found some dump to hunker down in. I would've told you earlier, but you seemed to have other concerns on your mind."
The dragon lifted its head. Its massive size melted away as Aku took on his usual form. "So he has found a base in which to lick his wounds?" he tapped a bony black finger against his chin. His eyes snapped to Vox, glowing with an orange fury. "Where is it?"
"Hold your horses, I'm getting to it," Vox straightened his bow tie. That was a bit too close for comfort. But at least Aku seemed to like the taste of the carrot. Vox walked past the demon towards his giant glass view overlooking the city.
"That way," Vox pointed out to the expanse of the city. "Keep going in that direction, and you'll find a ramshackle hotel on the very edge of town."
"And the samurai is staying there?" Aku narrowed his eyes.
"Sure is," Vox smiled. "Rumor has it that he cut a deal with Lucifer's little bleeding heart of a daughter."
Vox wouldn't lie and say he wasn't surprised when Velvette reported the latest gossip to him. Normally, he would be concerned about two of his biggest thorns being in one place. But if that samurai was too stupid to use a holy weapon on demons, Vox doubted he could take advantage of the powerful little blond bimbo at his fingertips.
"Lucifer's daughter?" Aku's widened with surprise and what could almost look like fear. He turned away from the window, stroking his beard. He was clearly deep in thought.
"You are a clever one, my worthy opponent," Aku muttered.
Ah, good. He was one of those nutcases who dramatically monologues their plans out loud. That made things easier for Vox.
"I cannot risk a direct attack myself," Aku clenched his teeth. "Endangering his spawn would no doubt draw out my old enemy from his hiding place. Not even he could ignore such an insult…"
Vox felt his red eye behind to pulse. Oh? So the supposed eighth Sin and the big boss of Hell had a history? And by the sound of it, things didn't go so well for Aku the last time they fought.
A useful bit of info, but not one he could really take advantage of. Vox knew better than to risk screwing with demon royalty. He was much better off using the samurai to get his way.
"Very well," Aku broke from his own musings and turned back to Vox. "You have earned the privilege of living another day. But do not think you can get away with keeping me in the dark again."
"Wouldn't even dream of it." Vox waved off.
"For now, I must take my leave of Hell," Aku breezed past Vox, pushing the glass doors open and onto the outdoor patio. "Be prepared for my return."
Vox blinked. "Hold the fuck up. You can leave Hell? Just like that?" He nearly blue-screened. "You can't leave now! I've got a three-hour special report on you tomorrow morning!"
"Ah, but alas," Aku flashed a cheeky grin. "I have been away from my empire in the human realm for far too long. I can't have the slaves thinking I was just a myth now, can I? What can you do?"
Aku lifted his head to the sky and opened his mouth into a perfect circle. Vox was glad he didn't have eardrums anymore as they surely would have been ruptured by Aku's screech.
A hole tore itself into existence as the piercing sound. It pulsated with black and white energy as it hovered just above Aku's head.
The Master of Darkness turned back to the Overlord of Television. "Continue your monitoring of the samurai. But this time, if you see the opportunity to end his miserable life, take it."
"Oh?" Now this was intriguing. "What happened to his life being yours alone to take?"
"The situation has changed," Aku huffed. "He is now interfering with my operations and my glorious return to power. I cannot risk him growing any stronger. Though I doubt you nor any of your underlings could succeed where I could not."
With a cracking creak, Aku shrugged his massive shoulders. "But what the heck? May as well give it a try."
With that, Aku dove upwards and into the portal. The black sludge that was his body twisted and swirled as it was sucked up the vortex like an upside down garbage disposal. Once the last remnant of sludge slinked off the tear in reality, the portal shrank in on itself before popping out of existence.
Once he was sure he was left in comfortable silence, Vox let out a sigh of exhaustion. Was dealing with that asshole always going to be this tiring? Vox almost wished he was working with Alastor. (Although he'd decapitate himself and toss his head in his own shark tank before admitting that to anyone.)
Still, Aku gave a new order. Now he wanted Vox to go after the samurai directly. Yeah, fuck that. Vox literally had a million better things to do than chase after some nutjob in pajamas.
Vox tapped his screen as he made his way over to his easy chair. Maybe he could send a bunch of his employees to rough the samurai up? Nah, his forces were stretched a bit thin at the moment. Between producing his big news report and developing VoxTek security, Vox didn't want to risk any of his hard-earned souls to an angelic blade.
Maybe he could set up some other poor schmuck to take the heat. Goad some newbie overlord with something to prove into taking on the samurai. That should satisfy Mr. dark-and-mighty enough to get him off Vox's back while not wasting any of the Vees' valuable assets. And if Vox was really lucky, the overlord would meet a tragic final end to holy weaponry, and some valuable territory would be up for grabs.
As Vox took a seat, he flipped out his phone. He sent a spark into the device, instantly dialing up who he wanted without even scrolling to speed dial.
"The fuck do you want?" Velvette's annoyed voice burst through the phone's speaker.
Ah, must have caught her before a show. He will make this quick then. "The last known location of the samurai."
"Why do you wanna know?"
"Because I've got a stone right here, and I already know where one bird is."
Vox could practically hear Velvette roll her eyes over the phone. It didn't matter. She was focused on her show right now so she wouldn't put up much of a fight.
"Fine, whatever," there's a good girl, Velvette. "Last actually reliable post said he was cruising down the highway towards Imp City."
Imp City? That was close to Zeezi's territory. If the samurai took an unfortunate wrong turn…
Vox chuckled, blue sparks beginning to dance in his brain. "Perfect."
"And then, after EVERYTHING, the asshole had the shriveled up ballsack of a nerve to max out MY cards on- get this- FUCKING HORSE-RIDING LESSONS!" Verosika yelled so loud, it would not be surprising if all surrounding cars heard it. "I mean, how do you even max out a card on shit like that? It's a horse! It goes between your legs, and you don't fall off. Lesson over!"
"Well," Jack coughed, flashing back to his earliest lessons in Arabia. "Actually there's a bit more to it than that-"
"And the worst part of it-!" the succubus cut him off. "Is that the next time I saw him, he looked at me like I did something wrong! Like I was the crazy one for just wanting-" Verosika suddenly looked very aware of where she was.
She paused her explosive rant, and took deep breath through her nostrils. She crossed her arms and leaned back into her upholstered seat. "Whatever, I'm over it."
The honest part of Jack wanted to say that she most certainly did not sound "over it" as she put it. The self-preserving part of Jack kept him quiet. They had been in seated in the back of Verosika's hot pink vehicle as it zoomed down the roads for what felt like hours, and Verosika had no shortage of horror stories of the imp known as Blitzo.
Jack had been wondering what it was like to ride in one of these strange horseless carriages. After his stomach leapt into his throat at the third sudden lurch to a stop before a sudden increase in speed, it was safe for Jack to say he preferred walking. At the very least, the succubus had asked her driving bodyguard to put up the "hood" of the car so he no longer had to worry about the wind stinging his eyes and his hat blowing away.
Verosika had graciously offered him this transport in exchange for him telling his grievances with Blitzo. He was, however, unable to provide many due to meeting the imp only the one time. But Verosika didn't seem to mind as she had taken the opportunity to share her own horrid experiences.
If it was surprising to learn Verosika had known someone like Blitzo, Jack was floored to learn that the two demons were romantically involved once upon a time. Very evidently, it did not work out.
"I am sorry to hear that," Jack tried his best to comfort while clenching to his seat. "To treat one's partner in such a way, he acted most dishonorably."
"Whatever," Verosika rolled her eyes. "Honestly, I can handle a shitty boyfriend. Do you know how many shitty boyfriends there are in Hell?"
Quite a lot Jack would imagine. But he guessed that question was meant to be rhetorical.
"The worst part…" Verosika sucked a breath through her teeth. "Do you want what REALLY sucked about it?"
Jack sat in silence. He stared at his knees. Did he want to know?
"It was…" Verosika took Jack's silence as confirmation. "It was how he pretended to care. Plenty of assholes make it clear they just want a quick shag and then dip, I can handle those pricks. I'm used to them."
"But then…" Verosika's eyes trailed over to window, and the setting pentagram in the distance. "Some guy comes along, and for some reason he decides to stick around. And he sticks around just long enough for you to-"
Verosika seemed to suddenly choke on something, but there was nothing in her mouth. She suddenly seemed very eager to search her lower compartments for something. She finally found her treasure in a pouch attached to the back of the driver's seat. Another one of those flasks, supposedly filled with more of that yellow substance.
"And then," Verosika twisted open the flask's cap like snapping a neck. "The absolute millisecond you think there might be something more to this… thing, he ditches you without even a text message."
She threw her head back and let a waterfall of golden yellow fall into her mouth. It felt like it had been a while since Jack saw her drink like that.
"Makes it real obvious that you shared the same space in his head as a cum sock." Verosika didn't even bother wiping the extra dribble from her mouth.
Jack didn't know what to say. That was… different. In the short time he had known the succubus, he had seen many different sides of the her. He had seen her be coy and flirtatious with him, as well as frustrated and angry, he had seen her be exhausted yet defiant with Aku's minions, and many times she had been downright livid with everyone.
But this was different. When he looked at the Verosika, he never thought he'd seen the succubus look so… broken. What happened between her and imp? Well, besides the obvious.
Jack should say something, but what? He knew the bare minimum of treating wounds and bruises, but next to nothing of treating the heart.
"I…" Jack tried to force the words out, like he would be blessed by some miracle advice. Nothing came. "... I'm sorry."
"Don't lose your head over it," Verosika took another swig of her flask. "Just hope that you never get long-conned into a sucky relationship like that."
She was about to take another sip, but then paused as the gears turned in her head, as if she just remembered who she was talking to. "Actually, you probably don't have to worry about that anyway."
Jack felt his eyebrows raise. He almost took that as a compliment, but then he remembered the sly nature of the demons down here. "What do you mean by that?"
Verosika giggled. "Come on, like you could get a girlfriend before you turn fifty."
"I mean, don't get me wrong," she gestured to Jack's sturdy frame. "You're hot as fuck for a human. I saw that six-pack when you were fighting DJ dunderhead. And there'll at least be few girls attracted to your whole 'knight in shining armor' shtick."
Jack coughed as he felt the blood rushing to his cheeks. His embarrassment overwhelmed even his annoyance at his samurai code being called a 'shtick.'
"But it took you over an HOUR to realize I was trying to fuck you," Verosika didn't giggle so much as she snorted with laughter. "You wouldn't realize a chick was flirting with you even if she picked you up threw you against the wall."
"What?" Threw him against the wall? Flirting? That sounded more like active combat.
The car suddenly lurched to a sudden halt, and Jack was very thankful for the device called a seat belt.
"We're here," Vortex spoke up from the driver's seat.
Jack took a deep breath. Finally. Not to sound ungrateful, but this ride was full of many moments that left Jack feeling greatly unnerved. It would do him good to be alone with his thoughts again, if only for the five minutes before reuniting with the imps.
"Damn," Verosika sniffed in an apathetic way. "Guess we gotta talk shit about your love life some other time. Call me. It'll be a blast."
"Er, right," While grateful for the seatbelt, Jack was less grateful for how difficult the device was to undo. Both hands frustratingly fiddled with the device. But no matter how hard he pulled, the buckle would not become undone.
Verosika stared at Jack yanking on his seat belt for a few seconds before she rolled her eyes. She reached over and pressed the red button on the device. With a click, the buckle flew open and Jack was freed.
Jack nervously chuckled, the red returning to his cheeks. "Er, thank you." He was usually much more intuitive than that. He must have been having a long day.
Jack reached over to his door and opened it with relative ease. At least he figured that out simply enough. He swung his legs out of the vehicle and stepped out onto the sidewalk.
The familiar scent of Pride filled his nostrils as he fully stepped out of the pink carriage. It looked exactly the same as ever, if not even worse and even more red than before. Standing before Jack was the building that housed the headquarters for I.M.P. Jack could even catch part of the imp's horrendously painted van from around the corner to the left.
"See ya later, Jacky," Verosika waved from within her hot pink ride. "Give some thought to my invitation. Step on it, Vortex."
At Verosika's command, the door swung closed, and the vehicle sped off, leaving behind nothing but a bright pink dust trail. Jack had to give Verosika one thing, she stayed on theme.
Jack's mind trailed back to her 'invitation.' During the drive over, she had extended to him the privilege of attending an 'Anti–Blitzo Party' of all things.
Now, Jack had plenty of grievances with the imp, but throwing an entire festive event just to celebrate hatred towards one individual seemed a tad excessive to the samurai. To each their own, he supposed. Either way, Jack thought it was highly unlikely he would attend. The party was planned to be months away. Jack doubted he would be trapped in Hell for that long.
For now, he should focus on entering the imp's building, this time through the front door. Jack placed his straw hat back upon his head and swung open the glass doors. They squeaked and groaned on their hinges as Jack entered the derelict lobby.
It was quite barren. There wasn't a desk or even someone to meet him and redirect him to the proper floor. But there was one of those elevators at the end of the hall. Jack approached the metal sliding doors and clicked the button to go up.
With a ding the doors slid open and Jack stepped into the small metal box. He was starting to get used to this. His eyes traced over the dozens of buttons against the wall. Ah, yes, the floor number… Which floor were the imps on again?
Jack racked his brain for any clues he could have caught on his last visit. Well he climbed the building last time, so really he should just count the rows of windows he passed on his way up. Jack nodded to himself as he pressed the '16' button. The button lit up, registering the input.
Jack only stood there for a few seconds. It didn't feel like anything was happening. Then a massive shudder passed over the machine. Jack almost felt like it was about to snap free and plummet, but then he felt the sensation of being lifted up. Ah, good, it was functional.
…
…
…
The elevator sure was taking its time.
…
…
…
There was an electronic number positioned above the buttons. It flashed from a 'one' to a 'two.'
…
Maybe Jack should have just scaled the building again.
This machine was much slower than the one in the Hotel, or even the one at the train station (and that one had to traverse layers of reality.) But at the very least, it gave Jack some alone time with his thoughts.
Verosika Mayday… what an odd character. She had so much fame and attention yet still harbored clearly unresolved issues with the imp known as Blitzo. Still, far from the worst creature he's met in Hell. At least she didn't try to kill him. No, she tried to do the opposite.
Jack shook his head before the blood could reach his cheeks. He was not eager to relive those memories any time soon. He was lucky that Verosika seemed to gain a sense of humor over it.
She certainly wasn't a shy one, that Verosika, brazenly joking about Jack's relationships after she tried to seduce him.
Huh… Now there was something Jack hadn't thought about in a long time: A relationship. What an odd time for such thoughts to reenter his mind, while the samurai was stranded in a literal hellscape.
But the succubus' joking tone of his lack of a love life combined with his sudden free time summoned thoughts that could not be easily banished. Verosika, unfortunately, had a point.
Jack had studied nearly every map created by man, but when it came to matters of the heart, Jack was in uncharted territory. Granted, when one spends the last fifteen years of their life rigorously training to defeat the evil that enslaved one's homeland, they rarely gave thought to topics like who would make a good dance partner.
Not that Jack was unfamiliar with the concept of love. He traveled all over the world and met couples of all shapes and sizes. They seemed like such happy folk, the way their eyes lit up when they looked at their partners.
To say nothing of Jack's parents. They were normally such stoic people, much like Jack himself. But when they were in each other's presence, their armor melted away. They would embrace one another and look like they wanted to never let go. And when they stared into each other's eyes, sparks would fly like shooting stars.
Even when he was young, Jack knew he would like to know love like that. Unfortunately, the cards would not be in his favor anytime soon. The last girl that Jack had felt anything towards was a visiting noble's daughter, and that was when Jack was eight.
There was also the fact that Aku was still out there. No matter who Jack was interested in, he couldn't waste time on frivolous socializations when that monster was wreaking havoc. And even putting all of that aside, there was also the rather large snag that Jack was in HELL.
For one thing, Jack was of a different world, and he would hope that he was not destined to return to Hell anytime soon. But even then, what would Jack do? Court a demon? Jack would sooner fall on his sword.
DING
Jack blinked. He had finally reached his floor. The doors slid back to reveal a shambled, stained, concrete hallway. Jack walked down the hall. To his left was sleek door next to a large stainless window. Colors flashed from the window that reminded Jack of the Lust Ring. To his right was a humbler door that had three familiar letters printed upon hit. That must be the entrance to I.M.P. Jack grasped the doorknob and began to turn.
Yes, for the foreseeable future, Samurai Jack walked alone. Especially after hearing the absurd relationship stories from Verosika.
Picking him up and throwing him against the wall… Jack shook his head. What bizarre courtship rituals they have down in Hell.
Jack had not even fully opened the door when a furry arm shot out and grabbed the front of his gi. Jack was suddenly hoisted off his feet as he was yanked through the doorframe. He grunted as his back was suddenly slammed against the wall, and he felt a somewhat familiar puff of hot air against his face.
Jack opened his eyes. It was the female hellhound who worked for I.M.P. The one he stole the book from.
She was currently glaring at Jack with angry red eyes (though thankfully not glowing.) A low growl could be heard emanating from her throat, and Jack could see fangs starting to poke out of her lips.
"Er, hello," Just because the hellhound had suspended Jack a foot above the ground didn't mean he couldn't try to be polite. He grunted more out of surprise than anything. "Loona, was it?"
"What…" with one hand holding up Jack, Loona pulled up her hellphone with the other. "The fuck…" She pulled up an image on her device before shoving the screen in Jack's face. "Is THIS?!"
Jack looked at the phone. On the screen was one of those digital photographs. Specifically, it was one of him, Verosika, and Vortex. It was before the three of them had loaded into Verosika's car. The succubus had insisted the three of them take a 'selfie' before commencing the trip.
Verosika and Vortex were shooting cool looks and nonchalant smiles. Jack looked very unsure about what he was doing, but managed to smile at least.
"Ah," Jack nodded. "I believe that is what is known as a Sinstagram post. I also find them confusing, but I believe I am beginning to grasp the basic-"
"That's not what I meant!" Loona finally let go of the samurai, letting him drop back to the ground. "I meant what the hell is someone like you doing with Verosika Mayday?"
Jack dusted himself off and straightened his robes. "I had sought her help in returning home. Evidently, it did not work as I had hoped."
The hellhound stared at Jack, as if she was expecting him to continue. "And?"
Jack blinked. "What?"
"Verosika doesn't take a photo with just any random Jackass that talks to her," Loona huffed. "You seriously expect me to believe that you just walked up to her, said 'hi', and the two of you are suddenly besties?"
"There were a bit more complications than that-"
"And what about Vortex?" Loona brought her phone back up, tapping at the hellhound in the photo. "Since when were you all buddy-buddy with him?"
Jack's eyes widened. "You know Vortex?"
Loona's angered stance shattered away as her eyes widened. She suddenly began fidgeting in place, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear. A pink blush started to bloom on her white fur. "I- I mean I know him- as in like I've talked to him! …once. But I dunno if we're considered FRIENDS or- that's not the point!"
Jack raised an eyebrow. What was this about?
"You've only been down in Hell for like a week," Loona growled. "And already you're the only thing anyone ever talks about!"
She furiously scrolled through her phone. "Sinstageram, Red Sky, Screecher, even Tombler! It's nothing but pages and pages of your stupid face! Where you've been, who you're with, there's an entire forum dedicated to talking about your stupid hat!"
Jack quite liked that hat, actually. Where was it anyway? Loona had knocked it off when she grabbed him.
"And it's not even just Verosika!" Loona continued her rant. "Even Velvette's interested in you! Velvette! Her entire brand is that she hates everything! On top of that, I bet you charmed the pants off of the princess too!"
"Well, she was rather friendly-"
"Ugh!" Loona screamed to the heavens, or in this case the ceiling. "Just…" She looked over Jack's form, holding out her arms as if to behold some absurd anomaly. "How?"
Jack raised his eyebrows. "I do not understand the question."
"Oh don't play dumb." Loona rolled her eyes. "No one gets as popular as you did by luck. What's your secret? What do you do?"
Jack crossed his arms. "There is no secret. I could not care less about the opinions of demons. My current standing is merely an after effect of…" Jack struggled to find the words. He shrugged his shoulders. "Being myself."
Loona snorted. "Okay, now I KNOW you're lying."
Jack wanted to protest more but was cut off by the sound of a door being kicked open.
"Loony, what is it? I heard shouting, does that mean a client is-" like a rampaging bull, Blitzo the imp barged into the main lobby. His pointed face was full of eagerness, ready for a challenge before instantly draining of all color when his eyes caught a white robed individual. "Oh."
The imp's shoulders sagged, and he looked like he was preparing to fight off the mother of all headaches. "Fuck. You're still alive?"
"Indeed," Jack narrowed his eyes. "Hell again, Blitzo."
"The 'O' is silent now, Jackass!" Blitzø sneered before his eyes blinked wide. "Wait a second, how did you-"
"Ah, Samurai Jack," the more refined, smaller imp popped up from behind his boss. "How nice to see you again."
The female imp who wielded the battleaxe popped her head up next. She gave an enthusiastic wave. "Hiya, Jacky!"
"Moxxie, Millie," Jack nodded. It was… (nice wasn't the right word) pleasantly surprising to see the other two imps. They were a bit more agreeable than Blitz, even if Millie was far too eager for bloodshed on occasion.
"Okay, we got all the schmaltzy pleasantry bullshit out of the way," Blitz pushed his employees aside (roughly grabbing Moxxie by the face) as he put himself back at the front of the pack. The imp glared up at the samurai. "So what are you doing here? Other than killing my hard-on?"
"I told you I would return," Jack glared. "And I have come to make sure you are withholding yourselves to my conditions."
"Conditions?" Blitzø blinked before Moxxie smacked the back of his boss' head. "Shit! Right, the conditions! Uh… Don't kill kids, no freebies, only assholes, yup! Been following them to the letter!"
Jack raised an eyebrow, making sure to keep his level glare.
"What? We have!" Blitzø sneered. "We've only killed the real shitlords so far. Serial killers, rapists, lawyers, the works!"
Jack blinked. "Lawyers?"
"Look, asshole, I don't barge into your samurai business and tell you how to… sam your… rais," the imp crossed his arms. "In fact, your little conditions have nearly killed my operation. Business has been slow as shit lately."
"Actually, I've been meaning to talk to you about that, Blitz," Moxxie spoke up. "I think that more has to do with our recent lack of marketing-"
Blitzø punched Moxxie in the face. "As I was saying," Blitzø straightened his bow tie. "As you can see, we're doing just fine here, so if you could kindly get the fuck out–"
Before the head imp could finish his vulgar threat, he was cut off as the floor beneath his feet began to shake. "Whoa, what the shit?"
Jack stumbled in place, quickly readjusting himself to maintain balance. This was strange. Without warning, the entire room was shaking. No, not just the room, it could be the whole building.
Chipped plaster cracked from the ceiling and drifted down like toxic snowflakes. Jack grabbed his sword on instinct. "What is this?"
"It's a Hellquake!" Millie cried out, grabbing hold of the doorframe. "Everybody duck and cover!"
"That's a thing?" Moxxie pushed himself up.
"You do not know?" Jack asked. "Are you not a Hellborn resident?"
"I am," Moxxie dusted himself off. "Which is how I know there's no such thing as a Hellquake."
"Everyone remain calm, especially you, Moxxie!" Blitzø apparently decided that crouched on top of the desk was the best place to be during a Hellquake. "The important is not to panic! I'm looking at you, Moxxie!"
"I'm not panicking," Moxxie shook his head. "Because there's no such thing as a Hellqua-"
The outer wall suddenly exploded inward. A hailstorm of massive chunks of building were sent flying across the room, and they all somehow aimed themselves for the same white-haired imp. Moxxie didn't even have time to yelp as he was suddenly buried underneath a quarter-ton of tubble.
"Moxxie!" Jack gasped.
"Greetings, peasants, peons, and those generally less brilliant than me!" An eccentric voice cried out, rolling the Rs in an almost comical fashion. A lanky figure dashed out of the new hole in the wall before landing on top of the pile that smothered Moxxie.
It was a bizarre character. He was a spindly stick of a man, dressed head to toe in stage red, green, and black garbs that featured some strange spiral pattern. "I am Loopty Goopty! Genius businessman, part-time mad scientist, and inventor extraordinaire!" He pranced off the rubble. "And I am in need of your services!"
The stranger continued talking as he made his way Towards Blitzø, but Jack wasn't paying attention to that. He dashed over to the rubble pile. "Moxxie!" he called to the rocks. "Are you alright?"
"So… much… pain…" the rocks wheezed out in a pathetic voice.
"Do not worry!" Jack took hold of a large piece of building. He grunted as he shoved it away. "I will get you out!"
Jack grabbed another rock. They were even heavier than they looked. Jack continued to make progress for another moment before something occurred to him. Why was he the only one helping Moxxie?
Jack turned his head to the side. Millie was leaning against the wall, trying to listen in on the conversation between her boss and a prospective client.
"Why do you do nothing?" Jack gasped out between deep breaths. "Your husband has been buried alive!"
"Eh," Millie shrugged. "Moxxie's a lot tougher than he looks. He just worries too much."
"Can't… breathe…" Moxxie's pained gasps broke through the cement.
Jack briefly turned around to the free hellhound, who was simply scrolling through her hellphone once again. Did she ever do anything else?
"What about you?" Jack likely wouldn't get any help, but it couldn't hurt to ask.
"Fatty's fine," Loona didn't even look up from her screen. "He's probably just being a little bitch about it as usual."
Fat? That seemed a bit inaccurate for the imp. If anything, Moxxie was excessively scrawny. If he had put on a bit more muscle mass, he probably could have helped Jack in pushing the rubble off him.
With one last groan of effort, Jack shoved a particularly large chunk of building away, revealing a very bruised Moxxie lying on the floor.
"Moxxie!" Jack grabbed the imp by the shoulders before hoisting him up. "Are you alright?"
Moxxie's head hung limply, and he didn't even look Jack in the eyes. "Thank… you…"
"Ah, Moxxie, you're not dead. Good!" Blitzø walked up like he was not dangerously close to losing one of his employees. "I need you to shake off any concussions 'cuz this guy wants us to bury his old business partner six feet under."
"Aye, aye…" Moxxie gave a weak salute before his arm fell limply to his side.
"Hold on," Jack carefully placed the imp on the ground. "You cannot leave yet! Remember our deal."
"Yeah, yeah, your cucking conditions I know," Blitzø waved off. "But don't worry your little top knot off, this one totally complies with them. The guy we're mercing is rich, and rich people are always evil as shit."
Jack growled. "That is not nearly enough to prove-"
"Oh no, we were evil," Loopty Goopty spoke up. He eagerly rubbed his hands together. "We kidnapped SO many poor people before subjecting them to MANY inhumane experiments."
Jack blinked. "Oh."
"Hah! Eat a dick, dickbag!" Blitzø extended his middle finger right into Jack's face. "Besides, sounds like the guy's old as shit. He probably doesn't have many years left. At this point, we're just finishing the job Father Time started."
Jack swallowed a lump in his throat. This DID fall within the categories he had set. Still, he could never just ignore the pit in his stomach that refused to be complacent to murder. "Well… I suppose-"
"That sounds like an 'A-OK' to me!" Blitzø snatched Moxxie up off the ground. "Millie get that portal open! Now, now, now!"
"Already on it, boss," Millie waved from the other side of the room. The female imp was currently stepping through a swirling vortex of a portal burned into the wall.
"Love ya, Mills!" Blitzø called back and turned to the samurai. "And since you've already stamped the checkmark on this one, that means you don't have to come along, right, Jack?"
"Well, actually, I-"
"Sounds good to me too! Let's get going, Mox." Blitzø picked Moxxie up like dirty laundry before charging for the portal. He tossed his employee through the portal like a sack of potatoes before hopping through it himself.
"Quick, somebody close it before he has time to go through!" Did the imp think being on the other side of the portal meant Jack couldn't hear him?
"You know, sir," Moxxie groaned from the other side as his wife helped him up. "You've quite surprised me."
"Yeah, I know, sometimes I surprise myself with my own genius," Blitzø placed his hands on his hips.
"I was actually referring to Loona, sir," Moxxie dusted himself off. "I was surprised by your willingness to leave her alone with someone her age like this Jack fellow. Especially after last time- where did he go?"
Jack could answer that. He currently had a front row seat of said imp currently charging towards the portal like a berserking chimpanzee.
"NOOOO!" Blitzø made a running jump for the portal, but it was too late. The portal shrank and the image of the diving imp went with it. And all that was left was the basic blank wall of the building.
Jack winced. Even across dimensions, it felt like he could hear the impact of Blitzø crashing into a wall that previously had a hole.
"Yes…" Ah, right. Loopty Goopty was still here. The self-proclaimed inventor was hunched over, drumming his fingers together as he chuckled. "And now, all I have to do is wait… Eh, fuck this."
The strange sinner made a beeline towards the windows. He crashed through the wall, right next to the hole he had previously made. He plummeted out of sight, but before Jack could even rush to the window, he rose back into view riding on some sort of propeller sticking out of his hat.
Loopty then continued to rise up and out of sight.
Jack blinked. That man was so strange, Jack didn't even have time to get a proper read on him. He was there one moment, then gone the next. Now the only two people left in the room were Jack and Loona the hellhound.
"Ugh…" Loona pinched the bridge of nose. "Can someone please explain to me why none of the assholes just use the front door?"
"When I did it, it was for stealth purposes," Jack stared at the two giant holes in the wall. "For the others however, I cannot say."
"Whelp," Loona's head hung low as she trudged to her desk. "Time for another book-babysitting, I guess." She halfheartedly threw herself into her chair before kicking up her back paws right onto the desk.
Jack looked around the room. The place was practically falling apart with dirt and debris everywhere. He wasn't quite sure what to do now. He still had a few questions for the imps. Perhaps he should wait for their return.
"Um," Jack turned to the hellhound at the desk. "How long does it take for them to complete one of their missions?"
"As long as it takes," Loona answered flippantly.
Jack nodded. "Ah, yes, of course."
Silence. Neither party said anything. The only noise between them was the sound of the ticking clock on the wall.
Jack cleared his throat. Should he… say something? Jack was usually fine without small talk, but this silence felt much more uncomfortable than when he was sipping tea with Verosika and Vortex.
What could Jack even say to someone like Loona? He hardly knew a thing about her other than that she was usually in a sour mood. Well, technically he also knew that she probably enjoyed a scratch behind the ears, but trying such a stunt now would definitely not be appropriate.
Perhaps he should find another method to pass the time. Jack reached into his robe and pulled out the card that Verosika had given him earlier. He studied the gold writing. ZeeZi's.
The address was close by, and Jack had been meaning to check it out anyway. Perhaps once he was done collecting leads, the imps will have returned.
Jack put the card back into his robes and made his way to the door.
"Where are you going?"
Jack froze in surprise. He turned around to see Loona staring at him with a quirked eyebrow.
That was an unexpected question. Jack didn't think she would care.
"There is an establishment nearby I wish to investigate," Jack explained. "I will return once I have found any potential leads for my mission."
Loona tilted her head at Jack. She seemed to be mulling something over in her head as she tapped her fuzzy white chin. She seemed to make up her mind as she stood up from her desk. "Okay, I'm coming with you."
What?
"What?" Jack echoed his mind. He couldn't help repeating. Her request made no sense. What did she want from him? "But why?"
"Because I'm bored." Loona walked up to Jack. She lowered her head down so she could look him in the eye. "But also, I want to find out how the hell you get every celebrity down here eating out of your hands."
"I assure you, this is quite unnecessary," Jack waved his hands. "You can wait here for others while I-"
"No way in literal Hell," Loona crossed her arms. "I am sick of being left behind while everyone goes on missions to actually do shit. That may not sound so bad to Mr. Popular, but to a nobody like me? Trust me. It really freaking sucks!"
She lightly jabbed a finger into Jack's chest. "So I'm going with you. And I am finding out what's so special about you that it makes everyone and their birth sin want to be your new best friend."
Jack sighed. This was not ideal. Jack worked best on his own, and he didn't know what this hellhound was truly capable of. But Loona made it abundantly clear she was too stubborn to back away from this. Who knows? Perhaps having some extra back up would be fruitful.
Jack nodded. "Very well."
Wow. I think that was the longest chapter I've ever written without some big action sequence. I did say I wanted to move away from action for a bit last chapter. And there was a LOT of setup to be done. I almost considered cutting the Vox and Aku interaction and moving it to a later chapter.
But in the end, I decided against it as I needed a scene to put between Jack getting in the Verosika's car and him arriving back in the pride ring. It's just better pacing in my opinion. Gotta have something to better convey the passage of time.
Hope you guys appreciated this calmer, more dialogue focused chapter. And if not, the plan is for next chapter to be more action packed as Jack and Loona enter the territory of a prehistoric Overlord, and might just attract the wrong kind of attention along the way.
Yeah, you can probably guess who the first overlord Jack will be meeting. Now, it's gonna be risky writing Zeezi seeing that as of now, she has a collective ONE line in canon. So I'm gonna be writing her personality based off vibes. Fingers crossed it this doesn't become horrifically dated when season 2 comes out.
Also, here's another friendly reminder that Jack is not a mouthpiece for my own opinions. I love Blitzø, I think he is a phenomenal main character. It's just that at this point in his life, before he's forced to mature and confront his own actions, Blitzø is kind of everything Jack would despise. In my opinion at least. We have the hindsight of flashback's and internal monologues to sympathize with Blitz, Jack doesn't. So yeah, Jack doesn't exactly have the highest opinion of Blitzø right now. But that is subject to change, it just takes time. But for now, I've got lots of other great stories to write, and I hope you'll all be there to read along the way.
Till next time,
Thanks for reading!