Three months later.
"So what's the matter?" Sola stirred a small spoon around her warm mug of tea slowly, "Is motherhood more difficult than you imagined or is Anakin just not helping out as much as you want?" The eldest Naberrie sister brought the steaming cup to her lips and sipped softly while Padme tried her hardest not to yawn. When was the last time she slept a full night? It felt like years… These past months had passed in a delirious, happy blur she could hardly remember.
"Not at all," Padme finally mustered the energy to lift her much-needed cup of caff, inhaling the warmth of its scent for a moment. "Anakin is wonderful with her—so helpful, and excited to do anything he can. It's just... I don't know... I didn't expect how much having a baby would change everything." Since becoming a mother, her life had transformed in ways she hadn't fully anticipated. Nothing felt as steady as before. She was no longer the Senator of Naboo so her only focus now, other than Leia, was the charitable endeavours handed to her by Sabe. She had no real work left to fill her days and it was maddening. So much of her identity had been tied to her career and handing it over to someone else left a deep ache.
As a girl, all she had ever wanted was her own family, but Padme was never meant to be just a housewife. That was Sola's dream, something she wholeheartedly supported her sister in. But for her? She needed to work. Helping people, making a difference in the galaxy—that had always been her purpose. Without that, she felt disconnected from herself, from who she was meant to be. Did that make her a terrible person? A terrible mother?
It certainly didn't help that while her body had technically recovered from the ordeal of childbirth, it had an enduring effect on her breasts and stomach. She had recuperated extremely well by all accounts and when dressed, it was difficult to spot the changes becoming a mother had made, but when her clothes fell away every night, Padme couldn't help but feel… disheartened. The sacrifice of what she used to look like was nothing in comparison to the blessing of her daughter and the new depths of pure love Leia had taught her, but it did sting. She missed her old body. Missed her old life from time to time.
Anakin was doing his best to remind her just how attracted he was to her. He still praised her endlessly. Poured affection and reassurance like honey in her ear and swore he loved her more than he ever had. It helped, truly, but he hadn't done the one thing Padme desperately needed from him. Neither of them had.
"Having a child does mean you aren't each other's priority any more," Sola nodded, "But if I've learned anything from my friends with children, Padme, it's that you must find time to spend together intimately, not as Leia's parents but as husband and wife."
"If you're talking about sex then we've failed spectacularly in that aspect," she sighed, slumping deeper into the sofa. "Not for a lack of trying, but sometimes I swear Leia knows and cries just to pull us apart." The few moments they hadn't been overwhelmed and exhausted from childcare or his work were always interrupted. Padme hardly remembered what it felt like to be with her own husband anymore!
"Wait, so you haven't slept together since the baby was born?" Her sister's eyebrows rose, "I remember a time not so long ago when you two couldn't keep your hands off each other!"
"I know," she grimaced, setting her caff down on the table, "Believe me, I never thought three whole months would pass by without… It's just so much harder than I thought it would be." Oh, what she would give to go back to those glorious, lazy days they would spend without leaving the bedroom, worshipping every single inch of each other. Padme missed spontaneous lovemaking. She missed deep, languid kisses with all the time in the galaxy to spare. She missed her husband.
And sleep. She really missed sleep.
"Well, Darred and I are always willing to babysit to give the two of you some much-needed alone time," Sola smiled, "I'll take any opportunity I can get to cuddle my perfect little niece."
"I might just take you up on that," Padme said, glancing at the baby monitor in the centre of the table. Leia would be awake from her nap any time now. She'd only been asleep for around an hour but she missed her. Even with her daughter just a few doors away, she couldn't help but yearn for her to wake up and nuzzle into her arms again. Was that normal? "Though, I hope you're prepared for Imperial guards to be stationed outside your house. I wouldn't put it past Ani to send for them if he's going to let Leia out of our sights."
Sola giggled and rolled her eyes. "There's nothing wrong with a protective daddy! Every little girl needs one. When does he leave again? You must be dreading it, you poor thing."
Cold dismay chilled her blood, creating a powerful shudder of apprehension trembling across Padme's whole body. When Anakin had told her Vader was sending him and his men to Utapau to quell a rising bout of rebellion, her heart had sunk into her stomach. His first mission away from her and Leia was always going to be the most difficult but the baby was only three months old! She had hoped Vader would give them more time.
"Three days," she muttered miserably, "He's doing everything he can to assure me that it's nothing, but there have been whispers of growing Rebel affiliation and their numbers only seem to be rising. I just wish he could send someone in his place."
"Why can't he?" Sola frowned, "He's a Prince! As second in line to the throne, he's not just the Supreme Commander of the Imperial forces… Surely there is someone he trusts to lead in his place until you're ready."
"Anakin would never send his men somewhere dangerous without him," Padme shook her head, "He takes his position very seriously and I could never ask any less of him. He wouldn't be the man I married if he stepped back."
"Hmm," was all Sola said.
Leia grunted and played with her little fingers as she drank heartily from Padme's breast. She held her child close, smiling in relief at the growing heaviness of her little girl's eyelids. Just a little more cuddling after dinner and her bath and the baby would be down for the night… well, for a few hours of the night anyway. It was something. She would take her breaks wherever they came from.
"Ah, is there anything I can do you for Mistress Padme?" Threepio waltzed across the dining room with a slight buzz for every movement of his golden limbs, "Thanks to Master Anakin's programming, I am rather adept at finding complementary wines and desserts to accompany any meal."
She smiled at the eager-to-please protocol droid and shook her head, "I'm fine, but thank you Threepio, I appreciate it."
Her new friend was a surprise gift from her husband, designed, built and programmed all by his own hands to offer help wherever Padme might need it. At first, she had worried Threepio was yet another push toward a life of complete domesticity, but Anakin had been quick to show off his creation's proficiency for language, scheduling and up-to-date knowledge on all things diplomatic. Though slightly high-strung by nature, much like Artoo, Threepio had quickly become a member of their family.
A moment later, the little blue and white astromech wheeled past the kitchen table to bump purposely into Threepio's leg, causing the tall droid to wobble and stumble, crying out and reprimanding Artoo for his clumsiness. Behind her, Padme heard her husband's amused chuckle as he swept into the room dressed in the blacks of his military under-armour and boots. "That didn't look very accidental," he quirked an eyebrow at his mechanical companion who spun his dome and beeped a reply lost to her ears.
"Exactly, Master Anakin!" Threepio threw up his arms, "R2D2, you are the rudest, most utterly tactless…" As his ramble continued, Anakin bent down to stroke the soft little tufts of dark hair on Leia's head and press a sweet, fleeting kiss to Padme's all too willing lips. The gruelling training procedures expected by Vader and the council meant he was gone before sunrise and didn't come home to her until long after dinner.
"You're home early tonight," she smiled, lifting her free hand to caress his face as Leia finished nursing and turned her head away to let her stance be known. "I hope you haven't left poor Rex out there all alone so that you can have an early night."
Lifting the baby into his arms, Anakin's smile was more enchanting than any sun as he looked down at their daughter. He loved Leia so much, Padme swore no child was ever quite as adored. "There's my favourite girl…" he cooed sweetly, "Have you been good for your mom, hm? I bet you have." After a moment, his bright blue eyes lifted to meet Padme's amused gaze and he shrugged. "I called an end to things early for everyone tonight, not just myself. We're all in desperate need of a break before we fly out, I think."
"I can imagine," she nodded, looking away. Utapau and what waited for him out there was the very last thing she wanted to think about tonight or any other night unless she absolutely had to. Was Sola right? Or was it too much to ask that the Supreme Commander of the Imperial forces stay behind to be with his wife and child while the troops went on without him?
Of course, it was. She was being selfish. But in the privacy of her mind, Padme could afford to be a little self-centred…
Two hours later, Leia was bathed and settled down in her nursery for the night when Anakin threw himself onto the bed with a long, body-quaking yawn. "I used to think I knew what tired was…" he groaned, "but force, I had no idea what was coming for me."
Being home all day with the baby was exhausting, but Padme had never experienced the challenge of working a full day and then coming home to care for Leia. Still, it was a kind of tiredness she longed to feel one day soon. Did that make her strange? Her mother used to shake her head at her 'obsession' with work during the lonely, quiet years before Leia and Anakin entered her life, but Jobal, much like Sola, thrived as a homemaker and loved every moment of it and just couldn't understand why she didn't want the same life for herself. While Padme admired the joy her mother and sister found in this life, she sometimes felt like she was losing her mind being home all day, every day.
"Poor you," Padme smiled through her thoughts and clicked off her datapad, setting it on the bedside table beside her, "but someone has to work to ensure my Imperial fortune continues to grow…"
Rolling to lay on his belly, Anakin quirked an eyebrow, "Your fortune? I believe only one of us was born royal, my love."
Reaching out, Padme carded her fingers through his soft curls in a soothing gesture and he immediately groaned his contentment. "Of course, but what's yours is mine and what's mine is also mine… Don't you see how this works?"
His immediate laughter was a boon to her frustrated soul. Like bacta on a wound, this undisturbed time with her husband was some of the highlights of her days now that quiet had become rare in the Skywalker household. "I'm beginning to believe you only married me for my wealth!" Anakin drawled.
"And your fame, husband. That was a very important factor in my decision too."
They shared a short laugh as Padme settled herself to lay beside him. Already the call of sleep was a powerful pull which pulled at her all too willing eyelids but she wasn't ready to end the night quite yet, not when they were finally being allowed a moment to be with each other again. Just Anakin and Padme, not Leia's parents like Sola said. They were together and happy but she missed her husband in forceful, painful pangs of longing for how things used to be now and again.
"It's funny," Padme muttered, just barely stifling yet another yawn, "I never thought I would be happy to be the second woman in your life…"
Shifting onto his side to lay closer, their faces mere inches apart now, Anakin smiled gently and stroked his fingers over the curve of her shoulder and arm. "You are second to nobody, Angel. Leia is my universe, as she should be, but my heart is in your possession alone."
Inching forward, Padme laid her forehead against his, "I love you so much, Ani."
"Force, you are my everything," he slid his nose against hers softly. She loved how passion formed into such sweetness in his mouth, unlike any other man she had ever met before. How had she, the lonely, inexperienced politician found such divine love and devotion with this man when so many others struggled to capture the merest flicker of affection in all aspects of life?
In one heartbeat, Padme's mouth passionately covered her husband's. It had been much too long since they had gotten time like this together, to be the people who loved each other, not merely parents of a beloved infant. Immediately, Anakin's hand slid upwards along the curve of her neck and into the tangle of curls around her head.
Fierce desire burst to life between her legs and moisture began slicking her thighs as they kissed and teased each other with little touches. Three long months since she had been with her husband felt like a lifetime… Padme needed him more than her next breath! Every single inch of her aching body longed for him with a hunger she couldn't bear to suppress one second longer.
The Skywalkers rolled across the bed, shedding layers of their clothing between ravenous, panting kisses until they were naked and Padme lay beneath him, rocking her eager hips up to slide along the hard length of him. Gone was the appeal of sleep! Padme would happily sacrifice her well-deserved rest to rekindle this sensual side of her relationship, the choice was easy.
Tearing his lips from hers with a ragged gasp, Anakin descended Padme's body in a slow, languid journey of wet, suckling worship until his body rested between her spayed thighs. Not hesitating for one moment, he tasted her with a long, firm brush of his tongue, tearing a whimpering cry from the very base of her throat. How had she lasted three long months without this? Her back arched off the bed to lift her hips to her husband's hungry mouth and he eat insatiably. Every expert lash of his tongue against her needy clit rocked her senses as surely as the satisfied moans he gave at her taste, reminding her just how badly he had missed her too.
Writhing uncontrollably, Padme clenched her eyes shut and gasped through the pleasure Anakin so thoroughly gave her. Just as she began to think she could withstand no more, two fingers slowly pushed inside her. "Anakin!" She moaned, "Oh, yes… Mmm, feels so good…" Years of practice meant he knew exactly how to wind her body so tightly that she didn't know whether she would snap or scream. The matching pace of his tongue and fingers left her shaking and gasping for more.
His relentlessness left her core weeping desire over all over his eager fingers. It was bliss. This was heaven. The hurried, self-given climaxes she'd felt these past months were hollow and ineffective when compared to this. She was wound so tightly, the pressure built all too quickly as her pleasure crested, tensing every inch of her desperate body as –
Leia's startling cry bled through the baby monitor on the bedside table. At once, they both stilled as their daughter's cries only grew louder and more insistent and Anakin groaned in bitter frustration, lifting his remorseful face from between Padme's still quivering legs. "She's hungry…" His ability to perceive the root of the baby's nightly upsets had been a mercy she was extremely grateful for, but right now she wished they could delude themselves into believing Leia might soothe herself in a few minutes. Unsated desire throbbed between her legs as Anakin withdrew his fingers and heaved a sigh. "Sorry, Angel," he ran a hand through his mused hair as Padme reached for her discarded nightgown.
"There's always tomorrow, I suppose," she muttered, tugging the silky material over her head. "Can you bring her to me, please?"
"Of course," he said, climbing from the bed to tug on his trousers. "We'll get there again, Padme. We just need a little more time."
It was getting more and more difficult to believe that.
"Tell me again why you have to go all the way out there?" Padme sighed, glancing downward at the silver hover-stroller Leia laid contently within for once. Usually, her little girl preferred to be carried in someone's arms and threw a fit if forced to endure any time in her stroller. Thankfully, she was being patient while her father readied himself for yet another departure into the unknown.
"Our spies have uncovered intelligence which suggests a growing base of Alliance soldiers," Anakin rubbed his black-leather gloved hands up and down her arms soothingly, "If there's a chance I can catch their leaders then the threat they pose us is no more. The sooner these traitors are discovered and dealt with, the sooner Leia can grow up in a galaxy which does not question her place."
Dressed in his red and black plated armour, he was as handsome as he was dangerous. She had no doubt he would hunt those who threatened Vader's rule and their family's stability without mercy… Padme only wished he didn't have to. Sometimes, in the secret, shielded parts of her mind she was unwilling to share with even him, she couldn't help but wonder from time to time, that if there were truly so many unhappy with the governing of the galaxy, perhaps change was needed? Anakin would never hear of such thoughts. If she were ever brave enough to talk about it, she knew it would only lead to a galaxy-shifting argument she had no desire to endure.
Holding her tongue, Padme erased the short distance between them instead and threw herself into his arms, sharing this brief, not-so-private farewell with the hurrying clone troopers as they rushed around the area. Somewhere around here, Ahsoka was overseeing preparations for her first true mission. The girl was so excited, it had been difficult to disguise her utter dread for this day so as not to ruin it. Today, Padme's strength had finally given out. All morning long, no one had really spoken to each other as Anakin held Leia to him and refused to set the baby down.
Padme knew who she was marrying when she pledged herself to the Supreme Commander of the Imperial Forces and she loved him for it, but it wasn't easy to watch the man she loved charge into battle again and again. "Oh Anakin," shaking her head, she swore to herself that she wasn't going to cry until he was far from her sights, but silent tears slid down her face anyway. "Come back us. Leia and I need you home with us."
Speaking through the tightness gathering in her throat was almost as painful as the expression her beloved wore as he cupped her cheek. "I will always return to you both," he swore and then, a small, daring smile lifted his beautiful mouth. "I'd be much too afraid to find out what you'd do to me if I didn't."
"Good," Padme made herself nod, "because it wouldn't be a pleasant fate."
His fingers began stroking through her hair, the motion almost soothing enough to chase away the overwhelming sadness. "Padme," Anakin grew serious, "I know how you feel about these missions. It's not any easier for me to walk away than it is for you to watch, believe me… Just… I wanted… Angel, if you ask it of me, I will walk away from my position the moment I return. I don't want you to endure anything you don't have to."
Of course, she knew that he would. Anakin would turn his back on anything and everything if Padme requested it, he loved her so much that he would do whatever it took to make her happy. But to ask this of him would be more than a simple career change, it would be the loss of his purpose. All his wonderful talents would go to waste without his military position. How could she ever be the one to do that to him?
"Yes," Padme stroked his handsome face softly and nodded her acknowledgement, "I know you would, Ani and I love you for it more than words could ever convey…" Forgetting for one moment the aching sense of fear and dread she felt, she forced herself to smile. "Leia and I will be waiting for you at home when you're back."
"Good," he nodded, "Speak to King Thule while you're here, Angel. Accept his offer. We'll figure out how to make it work, I promise."
Just yesterday, Padme received an unexpected transmission from the monarch of her homeworld with an offering of employment within his royal council of advisors. Whilst the role did not carry the same stress or importance as her former Senatorial seat did, it was a position which would allow her to do what she loved and make changes once more. She hadn't ever expected to find herself desiring what could only be considered a demotion, but new royal titles meant her options were more limited than she liked to admit.
"I don't know," she shook her head, "accepting his offer means we'll constantly be moving between Naboo and Coruscant and we'll have to find a suitable nanny for Leia and – "
Anakin silenced her with a gentle kiss. "Stop fretting, my love. You need to use that amazing mind of yours to remain sane," he tapped her temple gently, "Your passion and drive to bring good into this galaxy are some of the many reasons I love you and I don't want to see your talents go wasted one day longer. Take the position, Padme. I want to see you thriving again."
"How did I get so lucky?" She felt a fresh sheen of tears fill her eyes. To be so thoroughly understood for every part of who she was and loved for it was the most wonderful feeling. Anakin saw who she was, her talents and flaws together and adored it all.
"No, no," he shook his head with a small laugh, "I'm the lucky one." Allowing no room for arguments, Anakin gathered her into his strong arms that very moment, lifting Padme off the ground and clutching her tight to his chest and she threw her arms around his neck, burying her face in the soothing warmth of his neck. Unfortunately, the thickness of his armour meant they couldn't get as close as they desired but for now, it would have to do.
After a few moments, he set her to the ground once more but chased her body with his own, capturing Padme's lips with a deeply loving kiss full of unspoken assurances she whimpered to feel. There was no space left between them, even the merest inch could not be tolerated right now. The galaxy faded to nothing around them and the peace was bliss.
A small, awkward cough pulled them apart, breathless and wishing for more and Padme looked over her shoulder to find Vader lingering a respectful distance away, his yellow gaze trained to the boots on his feet. "Vader! What are you doing out here?" Anakin smiled at his brother, though one arm remained firmly wrapped around her body as the Emperor took his cue to approach.
"I wanted to see you off," the dark-haired twin smiled warmly at his niece and allowed Leia to grasp at his finger with a small squeal of delight at new attention. "Sweet child… Her presence here is a perfect omen for the strength of the Empire." He swept the baby into his arms and laid a small kiss on her little forehead. In the rare moments Vader spent with his brother's child, he was good with her. Tender and sweet in a way she hadn't imagined he could be. "This is what we fight for, brother. Princess Leia is the future of the Skywalker dynasty… until her cousins come along one day, of course."
"Force help us if Leia does ascend," Anakin chuckled and then bent so his lips traced Padme's ear, his words for her alone. "We'd have a sex-hating tyrant on the throne…"
"Hush!" She smacked him away despite the rising flush heating her face.
"I can't stay, I have a meeting with King Thule," Vader sighed, begrudgingly laying Leia in her stroller once more, "I just wanted to wish you well. May the force be with you, Anakin. I look forward to news of your victory in the coming days."
"And also with you," Anakin nodded, "I won't let you down."
As the Emperor took his leave, sweeping his long, black cloak behind him as he walked, Anakin lifted Leia into his arms and peppered sweet kisses all over the girl's happy face. "You'd better be good for your mom," he faked sternness though the baby merely giggled, "I want to hear about you sleeping through the night when I get back."
"I don't think that's ever going to happen," Padme laughed softly, but the smile she was forcing for Anakin's sake quickly faded. He was really about to leave them and the weight of that reality made her heart sink. Her world seemed to spin for a moment as she struggled to collect herself once more. "Be safe out there, Ani. And no crazy stunts, okay? I don't want people thinking I married a reckless maniac."
Holding Leia securely in one arm, her he stroked his gloved thumb across Padme's cheek with the other. "I'll be back in one piece before you know it, trust me." A dashing grin spread across his mouth, "but I can't promise no stunts… I have a reputation to maintain!"
"Master!" Ahsoka jogged toward them and spared a small, greeting smile toward Padme and Leia as she skidded to a stop, "Everything is set up and ready for departure just how you asked."
Nodding, Anakin kissed the baby one more time before allowing her to slip into Padme's waiting arms. "The battalion?"
"All on board 'The Resolute'." The girl clasped her hands behind her back proudly. "Artoo is already there waiting for you with Rex and Appo in the bridge. Our comms channels have been scanned and privatised and false coordinates were shared last night with suspected spies and Vice Chair Amedda."
"Well done, Snips!" Her husband smiled at his apprentice with delighted surprise. "I'm very impressed. Go on and get strapped in, I'm right behind you."
The girl bowed and took off, vanishing around the corner as Anakin returned his gaze to Padme. She didn't need his powers to sense the dread he felt at leaving her and Leia behind. It was palpable. Gutting. But it wouldn't do anyone any good to have him miserable and moping the entire time he was gone, so she threw her free arm around his neck. "Go on and make me proud, beloved." She whispered, standing on her tiptoes to press her lips to his. "I have every faith in your success."
Enjoying one last look at the man she loved, Padme reluctantly forced herself to release him and step backwards. Everything was ready and in place for the Supreme Commander, there was no use in delaying him any further. They could linger here all day putting off the inevitable but it would not lessen the hurt or loss she would feel when he left.
"I'll see you in a few days, Ani." Padme did not say goodbye. There were no goodbyes in their relationship, that word had no meaning or place in their lives. He would be in her arms and kissing Leia again before either of them knew it.
"Speak to King Thule," he nodded, "Take the job." No more hesitating or standing around stubbornly, Anakin turned and stormed in the direction Ahsoka had run just a few moments earlier. He had his job to do and it was time Padme found her own again.
Keep him safe, she prayed to the Goddesses and the Force her husband and Vader worshipped, bring him home to me.