A/N:Alexa, play "The Great War" by Taylor Swift.
This isn't edited as properly as I'd like but it's either post now or wait and edit and post tomorrow afternoon... So please forgive any errors! I'll be correcting them tomorrow.
Several Months Ago…
A soft hum of chatter and laughter filled the room as Leia's party was in full swing. Anakin hovered near a long table, his eyes sparkling with unrestrained joy as he watched his little girl toddle unsteadily around, her tiny hands grasping at air as she giggled, greeting everyone like a proper little hostess. How was she possibly a year old already? His Leia. The light of his life… the perfect little girl who had transformed him in ways he couldneverhave imagined. Every day she reminded him how much he had to be grateful for. A family. A wife he loved. A chance to be the man he'd always wanted to be.
Anakin turned to Ruwee, who was beside him, fiddling with a small toy droid Sabe had brought as a gift for Leia. The two men leaned over the mechanism, trying to get it to shuffle to life the way the instructions promised. "I think you're twisting that part the wrong way," he chuckled.
"Oh, sure, because royal Princes are known for their droid expertise," Ruwee teased, shaking his head. "You're more likely to make it fly into the cake than walk straight, son."
Anakin laughed – a real, genuine laugh despite the gentle insult to his skills, and for a moment, he marvelled at how easily he fit into this world now. It wasn't so long ago that he thought he'd be forever lost to the shadows, incapable of feeling connection or love. But Padme saved him. And here he was, laughing with his father-in-law, completely at peace.
But then, out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of something that made his laughter falter. Padme was seated on the plush couch, Vader beside her across the room. Leia was perched on Vader's lap, babbling happily as her small hands flicked through a bright holo-mag, trying to show her uncle all her favourite parts. Anakin froze. His eyes locked onto the three of them and an inexplicable wave of unease washed over him. But why? They were only talking! Right where everyone and anyone could see them – including Satine! He was being an idiot, he knew he was.
So he tried to focus on Ruwee's voice as the older man continued chatting away obliviously, but his words barely registered. Neither did the sudden burst of sparks flying from the droid's inner wiring as his tool slipped too deep inside the casing. Anakin couldn't tear his gaze away from them. They looked… intimate. Comfortable. Padme was smiling, her expression so soft and warm as she spoke to Vader. Anakin couldn't hear what they were saying over the din of the party – and for a moment he wished everyone would justshut up– but whatever it was, Vader's face, normally so stoic, flickered with something uncomfortably akin to tenderness.
Anakin felt his chest tighten. They were just talking. It was nothing! Padme and Vader werefriendsand had been for years now. Everything else was long in the past. He had no reason to feel this way. He trusted his wife. He trusted his brother.
Didn't he?
But then Padme reached out and took Vader's hand.
The toy droid in Anakin's hand gave a sharp, metallic whine as it shook and he quickly loosened his hold, forcing a smile as Ruwee glanced at him. "You alright, son?" Padme's father asked, his brow furrowing in concern.
Great. He wasn't doing himself any favours acting this way. This was supposed to be his chance to impress Ruwee, to show him the depth of his engineering prowess. So far, though, Padme's father seemed unconvinced that Anakin could handle more than a tripped switch. He knew that playful doubt shouldn't bother him as much as it did – but force help him, it did.A things wasn't just a skill; it was something Anakin took pride in. It was one of the few things he could rely on, the one area where he felt truly in control. If he could use that to connect with Ruwee, to earn even a small measure of his respect, he was eager to try.
He just hoped he hadn't already blown it.
"I'm fine," Anakin lied, his voice slightly strained. He turned back to the droid, pretending to focus on it, but his mind was still racing. Why were they sitting so close? Why was Padme holding Vader's hand?
He told himself it didn't matter. She lovedhim. She'd chosen him. Whatever had happened between Padme and Vader before was nothing but a mistake – one theybothregretted. But despite his best efforts, Anakin's heart felt like it was sinking. The three of them looked so happy over there, sonaturaltogether. Even Leia, with her dark hair, looked more like Vader's child than his own. A cold shudder raced through his body and the dark shadows in his mind began to coil and hiss, their voices dripping with terrible suspicions he dared not entertain. The darkness whispered insidious thoughts, planting seeds of doubt that twisted like thorns around his heart.
He'd been so preoccupied with the construction of Naboo's base before – gone for hours, sometimesdaysat a time. What if they had –
No!His mind screamed against the idea, cutting it off before it could fully form. He shook his head sharply as if that alone would banish those thoughts. It was .They would never betray him that way. They couldn't.
And yet, the same darkness within him murmured otherwise, venomous and unrelenting. It told him theyalready had.
Anakin's hands began to tremble, his breath coming faster, as though the weight of those whispered accusations were enough to suffocate him right here. He felt sick. He hated himself for thinking this way, for letting the old wounds of jealousy and insecurity resurface. But no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't shake the dark suspicion clawing at the edges of his mind.
A gentle hand on his shoulder startled him, pulling him out of his spiraling thoughts. He turned to find Ruwee watching him with a knowing, sympathetic expression. "I know my daughter," Ruwee said softly, his voice steady and kind. "She loves you. It'll always be you."
Anakin blinked, his cheeks flushing hot with embarrassment. Was hethatobvious? He opened his mouth to say something –anything– to deflect, but no words came to his rescue. He could only give a sheepish smile and shallow nod, hoping it was enough to mask the turmoil churning inside him.
As the party buzzed on around him, Anakin forced himself to look away from the couch, from Padme and Vader and focus on the here and now. On Leia's laughter. On the love he knew he had.
But the unease lingered, a shadow he couldn't quite banish.
The first hints of sunrise bled through the lingering night clouds as Bail Organa paced the length of his office for the umpteenth time. His hands trembled violently where he held them behind his back. This dawn marked the first chapter of a new what he and other brave, like-minded others had spied and fought and died for. The Senate was going to be re-born as something truly powerful, functional and justice would soon be served for all the people of the galaxy.
So then why was his heart thundering? Why was sweat beading across his skin? Bail knew this course of action was for the best. It was the right thing for Alderaan and Naboo and every other planet and system Vader and the Skywalker institution wished to strip and plunder. Look what had happened to Mandalore – its Duchess used and discarded while her system fell into chaos and ruin!
Thatwas what it meant to be part of the Empire. To be Vader's toy, just another piece in his vicious scheming. Who was to say he wouldn't turn his Death Star upon them all one day because he simply grewbored?Bail could not take the risk. Not with his homeworld and his people. No, he would do what had to be done and then, in a few days, the announcement would be made.
"You must breathe, Bail."The blue-flickering projection of Mon said calmly where she stood upon his desk. In all honestly, he had forgotten his friend was here at all as his worries swelled."Everything has been set up according to plan. We must now play our parts very carefully in the coming days."
"You do not think we should have waited untilafterthey left Alderaan? I have a bad feeling about this, Mon." This had been tearing at his mind ever since their plans were officially set into motion. Bail couldn't stop replaying every detail, scrutinizing every step, questioning every decision. Was there a loose thread that could somehow lead back to them? Asinglemisstep could unravel everything…
Nothing could be left to chance. The Empire's investigations would be ruthless, their demands for answers unrelenting. If they were ever discovered… Bail shuddered, the thought gripping him like a vice. He didn't dare linger on the implications for too long. The fate that would await them, their families, and their homeworlds – the Death Star itself might be a merciful end compared to what a Skywalker's wrath would deliver.
"It would be far more suspicious if this were to occur after today,"Mon's calm, measured voice carried a quiet assurance that sent an unsettling chill through the room."Who would be foolish enough to assassinate the Emperor while he was visiting their own planet?"She let the rhetorical question hang for a moment before continuing, her tone unyielding."No, the very fact that it happens within your palace gives you plausible deniability. You can act innocent, demand investigations and exact swift, brutal punishments for your security. The chaos will shield you – the aftermath too fragmented for suspicion to land squarely on your shoulders."
Bail leaned heavily on his desk, his hands gripping the edges as though they were the only thing keeping him upright, and quite frankly, they very well might be. "I can only hope you're right," he said, his voice low and hoarse. "Otherwise… I dare not think about the consequences."
Mon leaned closer, her posture unwavering, her expression as sharp as her words."Play your part, Bail,"she said, her voice soft yet carrying the steel of conviction. "And there will be nothing to fear. Everything will go to plan."
Padme stirred as sunlight streamed through the curtains, warming her face and pulling her reluctantly from sleep. She squinted, turning her head away from the intrusive light and burying her face deeper into the pillow. For a moment, she allowed herself to drift in that warm haze between waking and dreaming, but any hope of extra rest was ripped away as the weight of reality crashed over her.
They were still on Alderaan. Still words apart from each other.
Anakin lay beside her, his back turned, the rise and fall of his shoulders slow and steady in the dim light. Watching him for a long moment, she felt her chest tightening. How did they get here? Regret lanced her heart as their fight yesterday echoed in her mind, all the sharp edges of words she didn't mean and silence she didn't know how to break. They hadn't spoken since, not even at dinner last night, and the tension stretching between them felt like an invisible wall.
Her gaze lingered on the broad expanse of his back, his muscles relaxed in sleep but always exuding that quiet strength. She wanted to reach out, to touch him, but the words she longed to say were caught in her throat. How did she tell him? How did she explain that she loved him for who is was, not the person he thought he should be? Padme didn't want Anakin to carry himself in comparison toanyone else– especially not Vader!
Anakin was enough!Morethan enough, he waseverything!
The space between them felt impossibly vast, a chasm that made her chest ache. How was it possible to miss someone she was lying right beside? Shifting slightly, Padme was hesitant as she slid across that space between them, needing to close the distance. What if he woke up and ran away again? What if he kept shutting her out? She couldn't bear it. Close enough, she pressed herself against Anakin's back, wrapping her arm gently around his waist, her palm flattening against his firm abdomen.
She felt him stir, his body tensing briefly before relaxing again as he woke. "Padme?" He murmured, his voice rough with lingering sleep.
Usually, it washerwaking up to Anakin wrapping himself around her, dragging her deeper into his tempting warmth for a few stolen minutes before Leia needed their attention. Padme pressed herself closer, her cheek against the bare skin of his back, her breath warm against his shoulder. "I know we aren't in a good place right now, Ani," she whispered, her voice trembling with unspoken emotion. "But know that I love you. And I want to feel close to you."
The words hung in the air, fragile and painfully vulnerable. She closed her eyes to wait for his response, praying he wasn't going to shove her away. Just for now, locked away higher than the tallest mountain peaks, couldn't they pretend everything was alright? Surely their issues could wait outside those doors for the morning to pass and let them just love each other again like nothing ever came between them in the first place.
After a silent eternity, Padme felt his hand move, resting over hers where it lay on his stomach, his fingers curling lightly around hers. "I love you too," he said softly, his voice barely audible but heavy with precious meaning.
Padme pressed her lips to his shoulder, wincing as her tears dampened his skin. The distance between them wasn't gone, but this – this was a start.
Anakin shifted, rolling onto his side to face her, his hand reaching out to caress her cheek with a tenderness that made her breath hitch. His fingers traced the curve of her face as though she might vanish if he didn't hold her close. He leaned in, his lips brushing against hers in a kiss that was so soft, sweet, and painfully gentle. Padme didn't dare move, afraid that anything she did might shatter this moment. It felt fragile, as though she'd coaxed a wild nexu to her side, purring softly at her hand, and the slightest wrong move would send him retreating into the shadows again. But she let herself sink into the kiss, the seductive press of his lips against hers soothing a wound she hadn't realized had grown quite so raw.
When the kiss deepened, she responded eagerly, her hands finding their way to his shoulders, grasping onto him as though Anakin was her anchor, her tether to life itself. Groaning, he shifted again, rolling fully on top of her, his weight pressing her into the soft mattress. The familiar heaviness of him felt like a balm, grounding her in a way nothing else could. She'dmissedthis. It hadn't been very long since the last time they made love, but every moment this storm raged between them felt like an agonizing eternity.
For a moment, all the tension, anger, and pain from the day before melted away. Here, in this fleeting intimacy, Padme could pretend that nothing had changed, that the wounds between them didn't exist, that the hurtful words hadn't been said, and that the distance between them wasn't as wide as the galaxy itself. Her hands slid up into his soft, golden hair, pulling him closer as their kiss grew more fervent. She could feel the quiet desperation in the way his mouth ravished hers, passionately suckling her tongue until she moaned as he poured all his unspoken feelings into the connection between them.
Anakin pulled back just slightly, tearing his lips from hers, to rest his forehead against hers, his breath warm and unsteady. For a moment, his beautiful blue eyes searched hers, as if trying to find some silent reassurance, some anchor in the storm. For the first time, Padme saw it, trulysaw it, the storm of anxiety swirling inside him, the deep, gnawing uncertainty that whispered to him that he wasn't enough. The realization hit her like a speeder crash, the weight of it pressing down on her chest until she thought she might shatter beneath him. It wasn't just the fight from yesterday or the lingering aftermath of what happened to Naboo, this was something deeper, something that had been with him long before any of this happened.
Her fingers brushed over his handsome face, trembling slightly as the thought consumed her. Did she do this to him? Was itherwho made him feel like this? It was a devastating possibility, one she wasn't ready to face yet. Padme, the once seasoned politician, the eloquent speaker who could rally a room full of senators to her side with a single speech, suddenly found herself utterly incapable of finding the right words to soothe the man she loved. The silence between them felt louder than anything she could say.
Maybeshewas the one who wasn't enough, the thought was dark and bitter, if she couldn't make her own husband feel seen and appreciated for who he was.
She didn't know what to say, but she knew what to do.
"No more talking," she whispered, barely audible. Before Anakin could speak or question her, she pulled him back down on top of her, wrapping her legs around his waist with a firmness that left no room for hesitation. Her arms circled his shoulders, anchoring him against her, and she kissed him. It wasn't a soft, tentative kiss like before – it was fierce, desperate, full of every ounce of love and passion she felt for him. Padme poured herself into it, every unsaid word, every unspoken reassurance. If words weren't enough, then she would show him. She would make himfeel it.
Anakin froze for the briefest moment, caught off guard by her intensity, but then he melted into her, responding with equal fervour. His hands roamed, one tangling in her hair, the other gripping her thigh, pinning her to him like she was a mere moment from slipping beyond his grasp.
Padme's fingers slid up his back, holding him tighter as if she could physically erase the space that had grown between them. She kissed him with abandon, letting him feel everything she couldn't put into words – the love that burned so brightly it sometimes frightened her, the unshakable belief that hewasenough, and her urgent hope that they could find their way back to each other despite everything.
"You're so soft…" Anakin muttered, the words coming low and muffled as he began kissing her neck. Padme whimpered as his wandering hand delved beneath her nightdress, sliding along her shivering skin to guide her thigh back to the bed. "So fuckingperfect…"
She could only gasp as his skilled fingers teased her core for a moment before slipping into her warmth. Years of lovemaking had taught himexactlyhow to please her as he curled his fingers on every thrust, stroking that sweet spot deep inside her. Padme squirmed, writhing for more, panting his name until he brushed her clit and the world around her melted away.
Gods, it'd only been a few days since they had sex – but that suddenly felt likefartoo long. Her body wept for all that lost time. Padme cried out, clutching tight around his fingers as the haze of early morning pleasure robbed her of thought. As wonderful as this was – andtrulythe temptation to let him drag her to a steady, toe-curling climax was nearly irresistible – she wanted tofeelclose to him. Connected in all the ways their words denied them right now.
"Ani… please…" she cried, reaching between them for the hard bulge of him. Padme nearly purred as her fingers traced that deliciously thick outline of him, loving the breathless groan that slipped free of his throat. "I need you… please…"
Anakin didn't make her say any more, carefully withdrawing his fingers and sliding her silky nightgown up and up her body to lay bundled around her hips. Padme bit her lip as she watched him sit up on his knees, all hard muscle and dangerous, sexy scars for her eyes alone. Her ravenous eyes feasted as his big hands tugged down his black sleep-pants and pulled himself out, groaning as his hard cock throbbed in the cool morning air. Teeth sinking into the pillow of her lip, Padme admired all that was hers alone, slipping the pearl straps of her nightgown down to free her breasts. Anakin exhaled shakily, fisting his shaft as his lust-darkened eyes caressed her nipples, giving himself one long, tight pump.
As much as she loved to watch him, and gods help her, shedid, Padme was hungry formore. Spreading her thighs in invitation, Anakin wasted no time joining her once more, notching the hard tip of him at her entrance and pushing inside in one balls-deep thrust that made her wail his name.
She gasped at the stretch, the incredible fullness only Anakin ever gave her and he paused just like that, his hips flush against hers, letting heradjustfor a moment. As lovely as that was, really, they didn't haveall day. Sooner than later, Dorme and the others would arrive to help her dress and pack to return home. Unlike Threepio, they couldn't wipe her handmaidens' minds when unfortunate walk-ins happened. But Padme didn't want to think about that right now…
Hooking her legs around Anakin's waist again, she urged her husband on, threading her fingers into his sandy curls as he began rolling his hips into hers, fucking Padme in deep, immensely pleasurable strokes. The bed squeaked beneath them, driving into the wall, rocking in an erotic, primal chorus of their lust.
No matter what was going on in their lives, whether they were feeling affectionate or driving each other insane,thisis where they always excelled. Their bodies knew each other as intimately as any two peoplecouldknow and understand one another. Anakin's hands were hot across her body, caressing her, squeezing her breasts, pinning her wrists above her head as he fucked her deep and steady.
Padme whined, straining for more with every hard what she needed… this closeness, this connection that nothing truly could ever come between no matter how things might feel right now. She needed this reminder of their love. Maybe Anakin needed that too? Arching against him, she lavished hot, rough kisses on his chest, on his shoulder, on every inch of skin she could reach, returning to his soft, full lips now and then.
Locked inside this room, hidden from the galaxy and the mountain of issues awaiting them, nothing mattered more than this, than them. Even if their minds were horribly out of sync, their bodies still understood each other. Every thrust made up for a night of silence, every caress promised hope of healing, every kiss whispered forgiveness.
The bed pounded into the wall as Anakin's hips rocked faster, the thick framing groaning in protest and Padme half-worried the entire thing was about to collapse beneath them, but the thought was shoved out of her mind as his cock nudgedthatspot inside her again and again and again and she knew she wasso closeto cumming all around him, so incredibly far gone.
The closer he nudged her to release, the louder her moans grew, uncaring who might be nearby to overhear so long as hedidn't darestop. Anakin freed her wrists to shove her knee into her chest, forcing himselfdeeperand Padme's hand dipped between their sweaty bodies, her pleasurerightthere at the precipice, needing that extra little shove in the right direction. But just as soon as her fingertips grazed her aching clit, he grunted and shoved her wrist away.
Her outrage lasted only a moment before his battle-calloused fingers replaced her own, circling her clit exactly how she liked as he pounded harder, faster, into her. "Tell me you need me," Anakin growled in her ear, his warm breath a caress that made her shiver. "Tell me… Say it…" He wanted her to speak?Now? Padme could barelythinkas the pleasure spiked, whispering fire into her blood, and she clenched around his hard length.
Squeezing her eyes shut tight, Padme wrapped her arms around his body, scraping her sharp nails along his broad back instead. Evidently, this wasn't the answer Anakin was looking for, "Please, Angel…" he gasped, sweat dripping off his straining body and onto her own, "Tell me…Fuck,you're so tight… so fucking wet andperfectfor me…" All the heated praise rushed straight between her legs and she was mindless, overwhelmed with pleasure andso damn close. "Tell me you need me… as badly as I need you… Angel, say it!" He pleaded, but one more hard thrust sent her hurtling over that edge.
Padme's orgasm crested in a blinding explosion of raw, overpowering pleasure as she jerked and writhed against him, riding the wave of bliss as high as she could manage. Clenching tight around him, Anakin's every thrust came with a filthy slick sound that sent heat rushing to her cheeks and the only words she was capable of were his name and a groaned variation ofdon't stop.
Just a few moments later, his hips stuttered and a string of deep curses howled from Anakin's mouth as he buried his cock inside her one final time and erupted, spurting hot and deep inside her until his strength gave out and he collapsed over her.
Panting, her shaking legs fell limply from his waist as she clutched him close as the powerful aftermath swept over her. She lay there, half-crushed, gasping for air between his muscled arms. It was wonderful –exactlywhat she needed, Padme thought, the warm comfort of his presence surrounding her. But when she leaned in to kiss him, Anakin closed his eyes and turned his head away.
The rejection was quiet, almost imperceptible, but it struck her like a blow. What little breath she had left caught painfully in her throat, her heart squeezing as the space between them seemed to widen once more. She could only watch as he gently withdrew from her body, the warmth of his touch replaced by an aching emptiness. With a quiet sigh, he pushed himself up, his movements deliberate but painfully distant. Lifting a hand into the air, his palm open and waiting, she followed his gesture with her eyes and a moment later, a washcloth floated from the refresher, gliding through the air as if carried by an unseen current, before settling softly into his grasp.
Silence pressed weighed heavily upon them but Padme's heart still raced as he set about taking care of her before cleaning himself and dragging his pants back up. How could someone be so tender and distant at once? Wriggling back into her nightgown, the lavender silk clung to her skin in a way that felt more like armour than comfort right now. She sat up and glanced at the chrono – there wasn't much time before Dorme would arrive.
"I have a meeting with Vader and the others before we speak with the Queen again," Anakin said, his voice neutral, distant. He didn't look at her as he crossed into the adjoining room of their suite, where Artoo sat quietly recharging. The doors remained open behind him, a small courtesy that felt like an afterthought right now.
Padme sighed, her fingers tightening on the edge of the blanket. She knew sex wasn't going to fix everything, so why did she feel so rejected? Glancing across the room at her robe, she wished she could summon its extra layer of warmth as she shivered, the sudden absence of Anakin's heat amplifying the ache in her chest.
"Can we meet later?" She asked, her voice softer than she intended. Padme pulled the blanket up over her lap, feeling inexplicably small. "I can have lunch prepared for us. I want us to talk before we go home." Anakin returned to the room, his expression unreadable, but his gaze flicked briefly toward her before dropping away. Her thoughts raced as she continued. "We'll be home soon, back with Leia, and… you know how it is. We'll fall straight into parenting mode." Her voice wavered slightly as she thought about their daughter, so bright and perceptive. "I don't want her to pick up on any of this."
Her words hung in the air between them, fragile yet pointed. They couldn't let this simmer under the surface any more, especially not when it might affect Leia. Nothing mighttrulybe resolved today, but if they could just begin, if they could talk –reallytalk – it might be the first step they needed.
Anakin stood still for a moment, his head tilted slightly as if he were considering her proposal. Then, with a small sigh, he nodded. "Alright," he said, his voice quieter now. "Lunch. We'll talk."
Relief and apprehension tangled in her chest as she nodded back. It wasn't much, but it wassomething. And for now, that would have to be enough as a gentle knock sounded on the main doorway of the suite, warning of Dorme and the other's arrival.
They were going to talk. She just had to piece together what she wanted to say before then.
The wide stone balcony of their suite was bathed in the soft light of Alderaan's afternoon sun, the towering mountains in the distance casting long, gentle shadows. The air was cool and crisp here, carrying the faint scent of wildflowers from the woodlands below. Padme paced back and forth along the smooth stones, the faint sound of her heels tapping against the ground mingling with the quiet rustling of the breeze.
Behind her, Dorme and a pair of service droids worked efficiently to set up the lunch spread she'd ordered. Plates of fresh fruits, delicately prepared sandwiches and steaming pots of caff were arranged meticulously on the elegant table near the balcony's edge. She sensed her friend's curious glances, but thankfully the handmaiden said nothing, sensing her need for quiet right now.
Padme paused for a moment, laying a finger lightly against her lips as she stared out at the distant mountains. Their jagged peaks rose high into the sky, serene and unmoving, a sharp contrast to the turbulence she felt within. Her chest felt tight and her mind was racing with far too many thoughts, none of which she could fully grasp. Shehatedthis feeling – this sense of nervousness, of being unprepared. It was foreign to her. She'd spent her entire career as a senator, a diplomat, someone who always knew how to approach a situation with poise and precision. But now? Now she had no idea what she was walking into.
What were they going to discuss? Her feelings? His? The delicate cracks in their marriage that had widened into something she couldn't any longer? Or would it be Naboo and the pressures that hung over them like a storm cloud? Perhaps the subject would be the past, the one she'd thought was finally laid to rest, only to find it wasn't buried as deeply as she'd hoped.
She sighed softly, pressing her palms against the cool stone railing and leaning forward to take another look at the mountains. She didn't know where to begin. Every possible thread seemed tangled, pulling her in different directions. How could they possibly unravel it all when she wasn't even sure which thread to begin with?
"Milady?" Dorme's gentle voice broke through her thoughts and Padme turned slightly to see her standing by the table, her hands folded in front of her. "Everything is ready."
She nodded, offering a faint smile. "Thank you, Dorme. That will be all – and please, don't return until I call for you. Anakin and I have a long overdue conversation to have."
Dorme hesitated for a moment, her concern evident, but she merely nodded and stepped back, guiding the droids quietly out of the suite. Once they were gone, Padme turned back to the mountains, inhaling the fresh air deeply as she tried to steady herself. The table was set, the conversation looming. All she could do now was wait for Anakin to arrive. And somehow, find the courage to take the first step into whatever they were about to face.
A few minutes later, Anakin strode into the suite, his black cloak swaying around his boots as he moved. He shrugged it off with a practised motion and draped it over the bed without a second glance, his broad shoulders visibly tense. As he stepped onto the balcony to join her, the light softened his features, though the weight of the morning's meeting lingered in his posture.
His eyes scanned the elegantly arranged lunch spread before landing on Padme. Without hesitation, he leaned in and kissed her cheek, the gesture so affectionate but tinged with distraction. But it was something. He was trying. "How did the meeting go?" She asked gently, turning to face him.
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "About as well as could be expected," he said mildly. "I don't see any agreements being signed, which means this entire trip has been for nothing."
Padme nodded, her lips pressing into a thin line. "Maybe it doesn't have to be," she said after a beat. "We have a few hours until we're scheduled to leave. I'd like us to use that time to talk to each other properly… and try to listen."
Anakin's blue eyes locked onto hers, his gaze piercing and unreadable. The intensity made her chest tighten but she held her chin high, refusing to back down. After a long, silent moment, he nodded slightly and pulled out one of the chairs, sinking into it with a sigh. Padme followed suit, lowering herself into the chair across from him. Her nerves were bubbling to the surface as she reached for the pot of caff. Her hands trembled slightly as she poured the dark liquid into their cups and it didn't help that she caught his knowing gaze shift downwards to her hands. She quickly set the pot down, taking a deep breath to steady herself.
Anakin leaned forward, his elbows resting on the table as he clasped his own hands together. The tension roiling between them felt like a living thing, fragile but heavy, threatening to break under the wrong words. Padme hesitated, her fingers wrapping around her warm cup as if for comfort. After a moment, she gave him a small, nervous smile. "I don't know where to begin," she admitted, her voice soft, almost apologetic. She was the one who asked for this meeting, she should be more prepared.
Anakin's lips curved into a sad, bittersweet smile. "I don't either," he said, his voice low, tinged with a weariness that matched her own.
They sat in silence for a moment, the mountains in the distance a serene contrast to the turmoil between them. The quiet wasn't as uncomfortable as she feared, it was heavy, yes, but there was a sense of hope in it too, as though both of them were carefully picking through the rubble to find where to begin rebuilding.
Padme took a sip of her caff, letting the warmth ground her. "Maybe we just… start small," she said tentatively. "Say what's on our minds, one thing at a time. And we try not to interrupt."
Anakin's gaze softened as he nodded. "Alright," he said quietly. "You first."
She hesitated, her heart thudding in her chest, but then she straightened her back. If they were going to fix this, she had to try. "I just… I want us to find our way back to each other," she began, her voice steadying with each word. "And I'm afraid we won't."
Her honesty hung between them, raw and unvarnished, and she watched as Anakin leaned back, his expression shifting into something more thoughtful. "I'm afraid of that too," he admitted after a moment, his voice filled with a vulnerability that caught her off guard.
Padme gazed out at the mountains, their jagged peaks softened by the golden afternoon light. She took a deep breath, steadying herself, before speaking the words that had been weighing on her heart. "I want to retire from public life," she said quietly, her voice measured but resolute. "Even as a Senator, I never sought fame or notoriety. Though," she added with a small, self-deprecating smile, "my sometimes overly bold actions and stances certainly earned it for me."
Anakin chuckled, the sound warm and fleeting. "That they did," he said, his lips quirking into a faint smile. "But it's one of the things I love about you."
She smiled back, a flicker of warmth breaking through the tension, but it faded quickly as she continued. "Living and working on Coruscant isn't good for us anymore," she said, her voice taking on an edge of weariness. "We keep getting pulled into troubles that force us to be on opposing sides. I'm tired of it, Anakin. I don't want to do this anymore."
Anakin leaned further back in his chair, rubbing his face with both hands. He exhaled heavily, the weight of her words sinking into him. "Padme," he said, his voice low and tinged with regret, "I love the idea of walking away. I do. Living on Naboo, having a peaceful life… it's everything I've ever wanted with you." He dropped his hands and looked at her, his eyes heavy with conflict. "But it's not possible. Not right now."
Padme turned sharply, her gaze narrowing as she met his eyes. "Why not?" She demanded. "Whycan't we? What's holding us back? We've done enough – we'vegivenenough. Why can't we just leave?"
Anakin hesitated, his jaw tightening. "Vader needs me," he admitted, his voice quieter now. "I can't just walk away from him – not now, not when he's still… Still sick. I can't just abandon him."
Padme's lips parted slightly as if to argue, but she stopped herself. Her fingers tightened around the handle of her cup and she lifted it to her lips, taking a long sip as she considered her thoughts. The warmth of the caff did nothing to soothe the growing tension in her chest. For a moment, she wished it were something stronger – something that might lend her the courage to say what she needed to say.
She placed the cup back on the table, her hands trembling slightly. "Anakin," she began, her voice soft but steady. "I want you to retire from the military."
His head snapped up, his eyes wide and startled. "What?" he asked, as if he hadn't heard her correctly.
She held his gaze, her resolve hardening. "I want you to leave the military," she repeated. "You've fought enough. You've givenenough. This life – it's tearing us apart. It's tearingyouapart. We have a family – we're trying for a second baby! How many more times do you expect me to watch you go off and risk your life while we wait at home?"
He stared at her, the silence stretching painfully between them. For a moment, she thought he might laugh it off or dismiss her entirely, but the weight of her words seemed to settle heavily over him. "You're serious," he said finally, his voice barely above a whisper.
"I am," she replied firmly, though her heart raced with uncertainty. "I'm asking you to chooseus, Anakin. To choose a future where we're not constantly at war – with the galaxy or with each other."
Anakin leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table, his face buried in his hands. He didn't speak and Padme's chest tightened as she waited for him to respond, her fingers gripping the edge of her chair. Her words hung heavily in the air and she could see the battle waging within him, the weight of duty clashing with the love he felt for her.
She only hoped he'd choose her.
Any other time, any other day, Anakin would have devoured half the food laid out on the table and then pillaged whatever Padme left on her own plate, but right now his stomach was churning too nauseously to even consider a bite. He couldn't summon the strength to meet her gaze, so his eyes traced the slopes of the mountains ahead and tried to count the impossible number of trees surrounding them. A coward's game.
"It's not that I don'twantto leave…" His eyes fell shut as the two sides of him warred for dominance over the other, neither willing to give in. One half of him was devoted to his wife and family, the other a loyal brother unwilling to abandon his twin. "You've seen Vader. You know how stressed he is right now… He's struggling with his health even if he won't admit it. I just… I can't leave him. Not like this."
What right did Anakin have to be happy if his brother couldn't be?
Padme's hand captured his own across the table. "I know you're worried about him. I am too!" And shewas, he sensed the turmoil within her, the anger she felt, the betrayal and the shoved-down concern for Vader's wellbeing. It was a swirling storm Anakin couldn't begin to understand. "I want him to be happy too. So much, Ani… but if we're going to have another baby, I won't be able to come and go from Coruscant the way I have been. And when Leia starts her schooling, it won't be fair to unsettle her like that."
Force… he hadn't thought of that. Staying in the military meant being away from his family half of the time. It meant danger and the risk of never making it home to see them again. Missing his children growing up. Could he live with that risk? "I… I'll make sure the Naboo base is used more often…" he scrambled for any answer which could make them both feel better. Was it even possible anymore? "I won't be gone that often, I promise you."
"You and I both know that isn't true!" She was getting louder and he could feel the frustration pouring out of her. "Youwillbe away – do you think the Empire's every problem ends with the Death Star? That Vader will have no more enemies? There willalwaysbe something to pull you away."
"Padme, just listen – "
"No,youlisten!" She snapped, "You can't have it both ways, Anakin! It doesn't work like that!"
Force… Anakin tore his gaze away, fixing his eyes on the distant mountains. Their jagged peaks loomed on the horizon, serene and unyielding, but he glared at them as though they were the source of every problem weighing on him. His chest tightened at the thought of Naboo, its rolling meadows and glistening lakes. He could see it so clearly – the life he wanted for them, forher. He wanted to watch Leia grow up in that idyllic, natural paradise, surrounded by beauty and peace. He wanted to be there for every milestone, every scraped knee, every bedtime story. He wanted to sit by the shore with her and her future brothers and sisters, watching them splash in the water without a care in the galaxy.
On Naboo, they could justbe. No violence, no Royal Council meetings, no politics to divide them. Just a family, living, breathing, thriving together in a place that wastheirsalone. He could be the man he wanted to be: a husband, a father, someone Leia and her siblings could look up to.
They deserved that, didn't they? Leia deserved an unburdened childhood filled with laughter and wonder, untouched by the shadows that haunted their blood. And maybe, just maybe, he and Padme could rediscover themselves in that life too.
The vision was so vivid, so painfully close that it ached. But it felt impossibly distant, like the mountains before him – a dream just out of reach.
Because Anakinalsowanted to stay in the Imperial Centre – to be at Vader's side. He wasSupreme Commander… surely Anakin's place was there, in the very heart of the Empire… wasn't it? He wanted to stand beside Vader, to protect their family from any threat that might rise against them. He couldn't imagine abandoning his brother now, not when Vader carried so much weight on his shoulders, not when he was still grappling with his own health.
And there was Ahsoka too. So incredibly bright, determined and full of untapped potential. Anakin wanted to guide her, to help her harness her powers and grow into the incredible warrior he knew she could be. Shedeservedto reach her full strength and he wanted to be there for every step of her journey.
But most of all, he didn't want to miss a single day with Leia again. She was his daughter, his heart, and the thought of being away from her again was unbearable. And yet, the thought of leaving Vader, miserable and sick, burdened by his own demons, felt just as impossible. Anakin couldn't stand the idea of his brother being left alone in the shadows, without someone to keep him grounded, to remind him of who he could be.
He was being pulled in so many directions, every tug as powerful as the last. And in the quiet of his thoughts, he wondered if he could ever reconcile it all.
Damn. He wanted to just split himself down the middle, become two men, and somehow have it all. But Padmewasright, as usual. No one personcouldhave everything they wanted. That kind of perfection, that perfect balance, was impossible. Even for a Skywalker Prince. Even for someone who wielded the power of the Force.
The problem was, he just didn't know what the right path was.
And to make matters worse, his wife was glaring at him. Not outright, of course, Padme was far too composed for that. But it wasthat look, the one that tried to mask her frustration and disappointment with feigned neutrality. The one that cut him deeper than an outright argument ever could because she was hiding her feelings. Fromhim, her own husband.
Anakin barely managed to stifle his glower in response, summoning a maturity he had only the loosest grip on. It took everything in him not to snap, not to let the bubbling frustration find an ,he thought she was angry at him for this too. As if there wasn't enough weighing them down already...
What else was this trip going to throw at him?
"Have you forgotten that I can sense your emotions?" He said, breaking the tense silence. His voice came out softer than he intended, more tired than confrontational. "I know you're angry with me. You don't have to try to hide it."
After a moment, her wounded eyes lifted to meet his across the table. "I just… I can't believe you would choose to stay in the military with Vader, usingthat thingto threaten everyone." Her voice trembled a mixture of disbelief and hurt lancing him with every word. "The man I love wanted peace for everyone! He would never support something like this."
The words hit him like a physical blow and Anakin flinched as though she'd thrown the steaming caff right in his the hell did that come from?She wasn't just questioning his choices – she wasdoubtinghim. Doubting the man he was. She was saying he'd changed, that he wasn't the man she thought she knew.
The realization gutted him, sharper and deeper than anything he'd expected. For all the criticism, all the mistrust he'd faced in his life, none of it had ever mattered. Not really. The opinions of the galaxy, of the Senate, and even of his enemies, were nothing compared tohers. Padme's approval, her belief in him –thatwas his anchor, his guiding star. Without it… he felt unmoored.
Anakin sat frozen, flailing internally as he tried to find the right words, the right response, but the emotions crashing over him left him at a loss. He felt lost and overwhelmed, the weight of her accusation heavier than anything else they'd faced together. Reaching for his caff, now cooled and bitter, he swallowed it in one long, painful gulp, hoping it would steady him. It didn't. The words were still lodged in his chest, choking him.
"I haven't changed, Padme," he said finally, his voice low and strained. "Not in the way you think." He set the cup down, his hands trembling slightly as he met her gaze. "I'm still fighting for peace – for a galaxy where you, Leia, and our family can live without fear." Her answering silence felt heavier than her words had been and Anakin's chest tightened as he searched her face, desperate for a sign that she still believed in him, even just a little. "The Death Star is a weapon, yes, but it can't command itself," he said, his voice low and firm. "Someone needs to make sure everything is in order."
He paused, his words trailing off, searching for the conviction he was trying to project. The truth gnawed at him – he just couldn't walk away from his brother. Not while everything was so precariously balanced on the edge of chaos. Alderaan was openly defiant, Naboo teetered on the brink of all-out rebellion and countless other systems were beginning to stir. The Rebels remained a constant threat, shadowed and waiting, ready to strike at any moment.
Anakin pushed himself up from the table, his chair scraping back against the stone floor. He crossed to the balcony, his steps quick and restless as he tried to force air into his aching lungs. The cool breeze did little to calm him and he gripped the railing tightly, willing his trembling hands to still. His chest tightened as darker thoughts crept in – what if Vader got worse? What if the sickness consuming his brother overtook him while Anakin wasn't there?
The mere thought sent a cold shudder racing down his spine. He couldn't risk it. Not now. Notever.
Turning slightly, he cast a glance back at Padme, pleading. "You're my wife," he said, his voice quieter now, "Ineedyour support in this."
"Idosupport you," Padme cried, her voice trembling with frustration. "Anakin, I'll support you in anything if it makes sense… but this doesn't makeanysense at all!" He turned slightly, watching her over his shoulder as she stood abruptly, crossing the small space to him. Her touch was soft but insistent as she laid her palm on his shoulder, gently urging him to face her. He reluctantly obliged, his jaw tightening as he met her pleading gaze.
"By your own argument," she pressed, her voice quieter but no less firm, "the threat of the Death Star will force every planet to fold and surrender their independence to Vader. He's already won, Anakin! What does he need you for now?"
Her words struck like a blow and Anakin flinched visibly. A muscle twitched in his jaw as frustration simmered beneath his skin, accompanied by something deeper, something . Why was she choosing not to see the full picture? Why was she twisting his logic against him? He grimaced, his gaze darting to the mountain peaks in the distance. The cool air did little to temper the heat of the moment. He loved Padme fiercely but sometimes he forgot how infuriating it could be to be married to someone so skilled at dissecting an argument and wielding her words like a scalpel.
"The Death Starcan'thunt down the remaining Rebels," he said finally, his voice tight and restrained. "Itcan'tstop a direct attack against Vader… or against me." He paused, his eyes searching hers, pleading for her to understand. "Or againstyouand Leia." His shoulders tensed under her hand as he looked back toward the mountains, his expression hardening with resolve. "That's why I can't walk away, Padme. Everything –everyone'ssafety – rests on me. It's a burden I'm honoured to carry."
The words were heavy, his tone leaving no room for doubt about the weight he bore. But in his heart, he hoped she could see it from his perspective, that she could feel the immense pressure that threatened to crush him every day. Yet, as her touch lingered on his shoulder, Anakin feared she never truly would.
Their eyes locked again and Anakin felt the simmering storm of Padme's emotions through the force. Anger and frustration churned beneath the surface, but there was something else, too – something that stung more than her fury ever .His jaw tightened and his shoulders squared defensively as her gaze softened. He felt her hand slide up and down his arm in a soothing gesture, though he could sense she was preparing to press her point.
"I know you," she began, her voice steady but tinged with a sadness he couldn't stand. "I know the truth. You don't want to leave the military because you can't stand the thought that they might not need you anymore… thatVadermight not need you the way he once did."
Pure shock erupted inside him, flaring hot and uncontrollable. He recoiled, his hand twitching at his side. "What did you just say?" He hissed, his voice coming low and dangerous.
"Ani, Iunderstand," she said gently, her tone shifting into something soft, something unbearable. He hated the sound of it, hated the way it made him feel so small and exposed and vulnerable. "You've been Supreme Commander since you werenineteenyears old! It's all you've ever known." The pity radiating from her felt like a blow and Anakin's hands curled into fists at his sides. "But the galaxy has changed, Anakin," she continued, her voice growing more urgent. "Everythinghas changed. Please…" Her eyes glistened as she stepped closer, lifting her hands to cradle his face. "Come away with me. Come live with me on Naboo. Help me raise Leia and our future children." Her touch was tender, her palms warm against his skin as her thumbs brushed his cheeks. "The galaxy doesn't need us to play its games anymore," she whispered, her tone pleading as if willing him to see the life she envisioned for them.
For a moment, the temptation was almost overwhelming. The vision of her, of Leia, of a peaceful life on Naboo without war, without politics – it tugged at him mindlessly, powerfully, like a tide threatening to pull him under…
But then reality came crashing back. The weight of his responsibilities, his commitments, the promises he'd made – they chained him to his current path, no matter how much he longed to deviate. "I can't," he groaned, his voice strained and raw. He reached up, gently pulling her hands away from his face by the wrists, though the loss of her touch pained him. "I – I'm not finished yet… I still have to…"
His words faltered and his gaze dropped to the ground, shamefully unable to meet her eyes. What could he even say? That he couldn't let go of the burden, that he wasn't ready to relinquish the weight of the galaxy's needs, even at the cost of their happiness? The words tasted bitter on his tongue, but the truth sat heavily in his chest, unrelenting.
Padme's hands lingered in his grasp, her expression crumbling as tears filled her eyes. "Anakin…" she whispered, her voice thick with emotion.
But he couldn't finish his sentence. He couldn't explain, couldn't justify it. All he could do was stand there, torn between duty and the love that was slipping further and further from his grasp.
Padme tugged her wrists free of his grasp, her movements sharp and deliberate, her breathing uneven. One trembling hand rose to her cheek, wiping away a tear that slid down her face. The sight of it hit Anakin like a punch to the gut, hollowing him out. He hated this – hated thathewas the one causing her so much pain, the one making her cry. But no matter how much he wanted to fix it, he just didn't know how.
"I'm not going back to Coruscant," she said, her voice thick and trembling with emotion. She sniffled, her back now turned to him. "Leia and I are staying on Naboo. You can make your own decisions." Her words cut through him like a blade, leaving him frozen, his mouth opening and closing as he struggled to find something to say, anything to stop her.
But before he could speak, Padme stormed back inside, her steps brisk and determined. Moments later, the soft whoosh of the suite door opening and closing echoed through the space, the finality of it pressing down on Anakin's chest like a crushing weight. He stood there, staring at the empty doorway, his hands trembling at his sides until a familiar chime broke the silence, and he turned to see Artoo rolling to the balcony's edge, his dome swivelling. The little droid emitted a soft, mournful chirp, the sound somehow mirroring the ache in Anakin's heart.
"I don't know, Artoo," he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper. His shoulders sagged as he dropped a hand to rest on the droid's cool, domed plating. Tears stung his eyes, and the first one fell, slipping down his cheek unchecked. He didn't bother to wipe it away. "I don't know what to do," he sighed, shaking his head. The words felt raw, filled with the weight of everything he couldn't fix, everything slipping through his fingers.
Artoo let out another soft whir as if offering comfort in the only way he could. Anakin sighed heavily, his gaze drifting back toward the mountains, their serene beauty a cruel contrast to the chaos within him.
He felt utterly lost.
Padme needed air and a moment alone to sort through the storm raging inside her. But as she moved briskly through the grandeur of Breha and Bail's magnificent palace, it felt like the entire galaxy was conspiring to keep her from solitude. Officials and dignitaries seemed to lurk around every corner, eager to lure her into discussions, probing her for opinions on the morning's political crossfires.
Usually, she would have happily obliged them, eager to delve into the nuances of policy and strategy, but right now, her world was spinning far too fast and the weight of her personal turmoil was crushing damn it, why couldn't everyone just leave her alone for one minute?Her breaths came shorter and faster as she pushed through the corridors, ignoring the calls of her name and the curious glances. Finally, she burst onto a wide balcony that overlooked one of the twin golden statues standing sentinel over the city below. The warm sunlight kissed her skin, but it did little to ease the chill clawing at her chest.
She pressed a trembling hand to her stomach, cursing the silver-blue gown she'd chosen that morning. The intricate corseted boning, beautiful but unrelenting, only added to her discomfort, making it impossible to catch her breath. Her lungs burned as she gasped for air, the pressure inside her chest mounting until it felt unbearable.
Running away from Anakin wasn't the most mature response to an answer she didn't like, Padme knew that. Butgods, everything felt like too much. Their problems were pressing in from all sides, crushing her ribs, snapping her bones, tearing her heart apart. She wasn't sure how much longer she could hold it all together. Getting away felt like her only option.
The breeze picked up, brushing her hair back from her face as she closed her eyes, willing her tears to stay at bay. She just needed a moment – a few minutes to let the whirlwind inside her calm. After that, she'd return to the suite and they could try again.
Her hands began to shake, so Padme laid them on the gleaming balcony, relishing the coolness against her flushed skin. Was she really asking too much of Anakin? His stepping down as Supreme Commander seemed like the obvious logical conclusion in her opinion. Things couldn't go on the way they were, it wasn't healthy for either of them. How could he not see there was always going to besomething– a new enemy, a new threat to be dealt with? Did it always have to behimwho faced it?
Padme sighed, her thoughts tangling into a knotted mess as she replayed their conversations, their arguments and worse of all, their the one who wanted to grow their family, to add another child to their lives. And in the heat of that fiery night – driven by guilt, desperation and a need to distract him from his suspicion – she had agreed to give him what he craved without hesitation.
But now, as shetrulyconsidered what that would mean, her resolve faltered. Imagining herself at home, alone with their children, while Anakin was off in some distant corner of the galaxy, facing dangers she didn't dare to imagine, was unbearable. Itwasn'tsustainable nor was it fair. Not to Leia, not to their potential future children. They deserved a father who was present, who could tuck them into bed every night without the constant worry that he might not come home next time.
She wouldn't do it. She couldn't.
And a selfish, petty part of her bristled at his stubborn reluctance to step away from the life they'd built in Coruscant. Soshewas the only one who had to make sacrifices? The one who had to strip away parts of herself, leaving behind her first career in politics, her dreams of a family balanced with meaningful work, and then her second chance, her spot on Thule's Council, all because their marriage and public standing demanded it?
In what universe was that fair?It wasn't.
Padme could feel the slow simmer of resentment building as she let herself dwell on it. She was tired of being the only one who had to give up parts of herself. There was only so much a person could give before they were left hollow. She wasn't going back to Naboo to simply be a mother. That wasn't who she was. It wasn't who she had ever been. There were so many things she'd dreamed of doing – things that she had pushed aside in the chaos of a career in the Senate. She wanted to start herowncharity foundation, to fund organizations that would help women from disadvantaged beginnings receive the education and opportunities they deserved. She wanted to learn the intricacies of Core World law, something she'd always been fascinated by. Practising privately, making a difference one case at a time – it was a vision she had entertained for years.
If only Anakin could open his eyes, this could be a fresh start forbothof them. He had been thrust into the role of Supreme Commander so young, given an impossible burden to bear, but he hadso much moreto offer the galaxy than the violence and brutality this role demanded of him. In another life – if things had been different – she could see him as a fun-loving teacher, firm but fair, guiding the next generation with his sharp mind, playful personality and unyielding passion. Or perhaps as a mechanic, running his own shop, spending his days fixing anything and everything, pouring his heart into his work the way he did with so much else.
There wereotherways to help people. Better ways to live their lives.
She clenched her hands at her sides, wishing Anakin could see it. Wishing he could understand that there was a life waiting for them, filled with peace and purpose. All they had to do was let go of the things holding them back.
As the breeze kissed her skin again, Padme heard heavy footsteps approaching from behind. She inhaled deeply, bracing herself for the inevitable interaction, no matter how much she wanted to avoid it. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw him – draped in exquisitely tailored, expensive black robes, every inch the young, wealthy, and handsome .He stalked toward her with that familiar, deliberate stride, and her heart sank. She glared at him briefly before returning her gaze to the sprawling city below. Why did he have to find her now, of all times? Why was it always when she was at her lowest, her most vulnerable, that he seemed to appear, ready to pick at her wounds?
"You're still angry with me," Vader sighed as he reached her side, his gloved hands coming to rest on the balcony railing beside her own. His voice was calm, almost resigned. "And here I thought you might have gotten it all out yesterday."
Padme didn't look at him, though she could feel his gaze on her, watching, waiting, gently prodding her for a reaction she refused to give. Last night was awful – a confrontation that should never have happened so publicly. Butgods, did he deserve it. Every word, every heated glare, every ounce of fury she'd flung at him. She still wanted to unleash it all – the betrayal she felt when she thought of Naboo, the anger that simmered whenever she remembered his calculated decisions, the bitterness she couldn't seem to shake. She wanted to slap his smug, unbothered face, to shove him far away from her, away from everything. But she was so tired. Exhausted. Mentally and physically drained from clutching her anger so tightly, holding it close like a shield.
"Please, just go away," she sighed, her voice heavy with weariness. "I'm in no mood for you right now."
"Evidently," Vader replied with a wince, though he made no move to leave. Of course, he wouldn't. Why was she even surprised? "This can't go on forever, Padme," he said, his tone softer but still insistent. "You can't keep shutting me out like this."
Maybe not, but she was certainly willing to try.
"Vader, please…" she said sharply, turning to face him. His blazing golden eyes bore into hers, intense and unrelenting. "There is so much going on and being angry with you is the least of my priorities right now." It came out colder than she intended, but she didn't take them back. If he was here to provoke her, he would get nothing. Not today. She turned away from him again, her grip tightening on the railing as she waited for him to leave.
But hedidn'tleave her be. One gloved hand caught her elbow, tugging her gently but firmly closer. When she tried to pull herself free, his grip held steady, insistent. "Thenstop," he said, his voice low and filled with intensity. "Stop fighting me. Stoprunningfrom me! I miss you. Hasn't this gone on long enough?"
His golden eyes bored into hers and Padme shivered, the sensation running beneath her skin like an unwelcome current. She hated the way his gaze always seemed to disarm her, hated the way his touch could make her falter, even when she was at her was he doing this?Why here, in the open, where anyone could walk by and see him tugging her close? It was wildly inappropriate. She should rip herself free and put as much space as possible between them, but her legs wouldn't move. Her body utterly betrayed her, rooted in place as his immaculate scent, the mixture of expensive cologne and the faint metallic tang, teased her senses.
"I'm so angry with you," she managed to whisper, her voice trembling as tears filled her eyes again, blurring her vision.
"I know," Vader replied softly. He pulled her into his embrace, his arms wrapping around her in a warm, unyielding cage. His touch was as comforting as it was suffocating, a confusing contradiction she couldn't escape.
Padme hated how her body betrayed her again, how she melted into him despite everything, desperately craving the warmth and solace his embrace offered. Her world was unravelling around her, her strength worn thin by grief, betrayal, and anger. She didn't want to need him like this, butgods, she did.
How could he have done this?The question burned in her throat, sharp and bitter. Vader was supposed to bebetterthan his father. He was supposed to stabilize the galaxy, to bring peace and justice, to make things better. How didthisachieve that? But Padme swallowed those words before they could escape her throat. She didn't want to fight. Not now. Not with him. She pressed her cheek against the hard plane of his chest, letting herself take comfort in the steady rhythm of his breathing, even as her mind screamed at her to push him away. For just a moment, she let herself be held, even if it didn't fix anything. Even if it made her angrier at herself for needing him at all.
Vader pressed a lingering kiss to the top of her head, the weight of it heavier than she could bear, but Padme didn't pull away. Instead, she pressed her cheek more firmly against his chest, the warmth and the rhythm of his breathing grounding her even as his words threatened to shatter her. "I know you can't believe me right now," he said softly, his voice low and earnest, "but I did what I did for us. For you. For Anakin and Leia. One day you'll see that, I swear it."
Padme closed her eyes, her breath catching as bitterness welled up inside had she heard that before?The promises, the justifications, it didn't matter which Skywalker they came from – it was the same every time. Did Vader even believe his own lies? Did he truly think any of this was for them and not for his insatiable hunger for power and control?
"So what happens now?" She asked sharply, pulling back and meeting his gaze with a glare that cut through the closeness between them. Her voice trembled, but it carried an edge of steel. "Are you going to do the same thing to other worlds? How much power do you need, Vader? How much destruction will it take before you finally feel secure?"
He frowned, a flicker of something unreadable crossing his face, but his hands slid to the outside of her elbows, holding her in place. She could feel the tension in his grip, the barely restrained need to keep her from walking away. "My succession is asacredinheritance," he said, his tone shifting to one of practised conviction. "Few can truly begin to comprehend what it means, Padme. I wasbornto rule the galaxy. It has been my destiny since my very conception and I earned my place through strength and power."
His golden eyes burned as he spoke, and Padme felt a shiver of dread run through her.
"But I can't achieve all I'm meant to if I allow false kings and queens to dominate what is rightfully mine to protect. The galaxyismine,Padme," he declared. "And I will ensure that it remains so – by whatever means necessary."
She shook her head slowly, her eyes shuttering as her breath did he become this person?She hated how her heart recoiled from the man standing before her. Some vital piece of her soul seemed to wither in horror inside her, unable to reconcile this Vader with the one she had always known, the man she called her friend, who she'd leaned on for comfort and support so many times… Now, he was a stranger cloaked in ambition, his obsession dragging everything and everyone into the fire by his side.
Her throat tightened as tears burned behind her eyelids, but she refused to let him see them. She refused to show him how deeply he was wounding her, how much of her hope he just shattered. "Can't you see where this is going?" Padme whispered, her voice breaking despite herself. "You're going to drag us all into hell for the sake of power you'll never be able to hold onto."
Vader's expression darkened, but she didn't care. She turned her face away, unable to look at him any longer, her hands trembling as she fought to keep her composure. "I never realised you had so little faith in me…" he growled.
Padme's gaze climbed the length of the spiralling palace as she willed her tears to dry again. This day had been… a lot. And there was still so much of it ahead. So many unresolved problems that her heart felt ripped to shreds. Where was she supposed to begin mending it? With Anakin? With Vader? Couldn't he see this wasn't abouthim,but his actions and the path they were leading him down?
"You're a good person," she spun to face him again, "don't do this – it's not too late to stop everything. There's no shame in realising you were wrong!"
"But I'mnotwrong," Vader said, his gaze unwavering, voice low and biting. "Maybe that means I'm not a good man – but Iwillbe a great one. I will bring peace, freedom, justice, and security to my Empire." His voice dropped into a dangerous hiss, sharp enough to cut through the air. "And I'll use the Death Star to crush any hint of rebellion before it can rise."
Padme froze, her chest tightening as his words sank in. It was as though her heart stopped beating, replaced by a suffocating void. He reached for her, but she stumbled back, jerking away from his touch. Her legs felt unsteady beneath her, her blood rushing with roiling was the man she had once known?The kind, intelligent, compassionate man she had adored? The man who dreamed of making the galaxy better, of protecting the innocent? He was gone, consumed by the flames of his ambition and burned beyond recognition.
"I can't believe what I'm hearing…" she whispered, shaking her head, her voice trembling with disbelief. The realization struck her worse than any physical blow and she felt her knees , Mon, and the others had been right all had she been so blind? "You've changed," she whimpered. "I don't know you anymore!"
"That isn't true," Vader snapped, stepping closer, his imposing presence invading her space. She backed away instinctively but he followed, relentless. "You're the only one who sees me, Padme. The only one who understandswhatandwhoI am."
"No," she whispered, but it came out weak and once… but not tears betrayed her, spilling down her cheeks no matter how much she willed them to stop. She cursed the warmth of each one, feeling them burn against her skin, mocking her inability to stay strong. Vader's gloved hand shot out, his fingers wrapping gently but firmly around her neck, pulling her closer. She gasped, her breath hitching as he drew her near enough to press his lips to her forehead. The kiss was tender, almost reverent, but it felt like a brand, a mark of possession that made her blood run cold.
"Please," he murmured against her skin, his voice soft and desperate. "Don't fight me. Don't turn your back on me too…" His lips lingered against her forehead, his breath warm against her skin. "I need you, Padme. I love you. I can't keep living without you like this."
Those words shattered her world.
Shock rippled through her, numbing her thoughts and stilling her heart. The entire universe seemed to pause around her, suspended in a single, harrowing . No, he couldn't mean that… He didn't just say that.
But he did.
Those words couldn't be undone. They couldn't be taken back. They changedeverything.
Padme's hands trembled violently as they gripped the thick fabric of his robes, clutching the material as if it were the only thing tethering her to the moment. Her breath came shallow and fast, her chest heaving as a dull roaring filled her ears, drowning out every rational thought. Tears blurred her vision as she looked up at him, her lips parting as if to respond – but no words came. She was frozen, caught in the gravity of his confession, her mind screaming.
Padme pulled back abruptly, stepping out of his arms as if his touch burned her. She struggled to contain the tidal wave of emotions surging through her, each one threatening to drag her was did he have to do thisnow? "You…" she stammered, her voice trembling with disbelief. "Vader, you'remarried!"
She grasped for words,anywords, but her thoughts were spinning, her mind a chaotic storm she couldn't calm.
"So are you," he replied with a smirk, his tone maddeningly casual, his golden eyes glittering with audacity.
The sight of his smug expression made her blood boil. "I'm not the one saying things like… likethat!" she hissed, pressing a palm over her mouth as she stepped further away, trying and utterly failing to compose herself. Her breathing was shallow, her chest tight. This was too much. Too overwhelming. "This isn't fair," she muttered under her breath, her voice breaking slightly. "I can't do this…"
"Don't do this," Vader pleaded, his tone raw and desperate, so utterly un-Emperor-like that it stopped her breath all over again. His hand darted out, catching her wrist before she could retreat any further. "Don't shut me out again because you'd rather live a lie than embrace your true feelings!"
Padme's eyes snapped to his, blazing with a sudden crashing wave of was he to tell her how she felt?Her chest heaved with the effort of holding herself together and she clawed at the large hand gripping her wrist, but Vader's grip held firm, !If he wanted her to stay, then he was going to hearexactlywhat she had to say.
"Why did you marry Arievel if you claim toloveme?" She spat the question, "You obviously take no pleasure in being with her –everyonecan see how miserable you both are!" At last, his smirk faltered and Padme seized the opening, her words rushing out like a dam breaking. "And why did you invite Satine into your bed if you knew you could never fully be with her?" Her voice rose with each word, trembling with the force of her anger. "So before you accusemeof lying to myself, I suggest you take a long, hard look in the mirror,Vader!"
The silence that followed was suffocating and Padme's chest heaved as she yanked her wrist free from Vader's grip, finally breaking his hold.
"That'senough– " he began, his voice sharp, but he was abruptly cut off by another, far more familiar voice.
"What the hell is going on here?"
The words sliced through the tense atmosphere like a blade, freezing Padme in place. Her blood, which had been raging with fury just a moment ago, became ice in her veins. Slowly, she turned toward the source of that voice, dread pooling in her stomach.
Anakin.
He strode onto the balcony, his brow furrowed, confusion and suspicion etched into his features. His azure eyes flicked between her and Vader, piecing together the scene before him. Oh, gods… How long had he been there? How much had he heard?
A crushing wave of guilt crashed over her, nearly taking her breath the hell was she thinking?She let herself be dragged into Vader's game, let him needle and provoke her into an argument that should never have happened. She should have gone back to Anakin – to try and hear him out, to mend the rift between them. But she'd been gone so long, distracted with Vader, that he came looking for her.
Andthiswas what he found.
Her hand flew to her mouth as her breathing grew shallow and uneven, her thoughts a panicked was he thinking?She desperately wondered, wishing for his powers so she could glimpse the storm brewing in his mind. Her instinct was to reach for him, to explain herself, to say something,anything, but her body refused to move. Shame rooted her to the spot, her limbs heavy and useless.
Just yesterday,he confessed to feeling like he wasn'tenoughfor her, like she wanted him to be more like Vader. And now… now this? Padme's chest ached with the weight of her own failure, of how utterly she had let the man she loved down. She hadneverbeen so ashamed of herself. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes and she wanted nothing more than to disappear. To run far away from this place and pretend it had never happened.
"We were fighting," Vader said, his tone maddeningly casual, as if nothing had transpired at all. He even shrugged with infuriating ease, glancing at Anakin. "Padme hasn't forgiven me for taking Naboo under Imperial control."
She flinched at those words, at the way he so effortlessly brushed aside the truth of what had just happened. She turned her gaze to Anakin, who was standing rigid, his jaw clenched tightly, the tension radiating from him palpable. For a moment, she thought he might explode, but he exhaled sharply through his nose and took a step closer. His desperate eyes locked onto hers and the pain she saw there broke her heart all over again.
"Padme," he said, his voice low and tight. "Is that true?"
Her throat tightened, and she struggled to form words, her voice faltering. "I – Anakin, I… Yes, I came out here for some air and Vader found me."
It made Padme's heart shatter to look into Anakin's beautiful, trusting eyes and lie to him. This was the man who had given her his whole heart, the man whonevermade her doubt his love for even a moment, no matter how fierce their arguments or how wide their differences were right now. Yet here she was, betraying that trust. Again.
She was a horrible, terrible person.
How many times did she have to play with fire before she learned her lesson? But it wasn'therwho was burned – it was Anakin. And he didn't deserve this.
He didn't deserve this.
The silence stretched on, unbearable and heavy, and Padme felt herself crumbling beneath its weight. Her gaze flicked between the two men before her, the Skywalker brothers. Day and night. Darkness and light. So alike in so many ways, yet impossibly, fundamentally different.
Her love, her desire, her passions – all of it was hopelessly entangled between them, like threads tied so tightly they could never be unravelled without breaking. And as she stood there, caught in the gaping chasm between them, she almost imagined she could see the ground cracking beneath her feet.
She had been coming between them for years,she thought bitterly, her stomach twisting with the realization. Hurting one when she favoured the other, pretending the line between right and wrong wasn't as thin and fragile as it truly was.
Maybeshewas the bad person…
Her head dipped as shame clawed at her and she couldn't find a single argument to disagree with herself.
"Let's go back," she said finally, her voice shaking but determined as she forced herself to reach for Anakin's arm, winding herself around him as though he were the only stable thing in her universe right now. She refused to meet Vader's gaze, couldn't bear the heat of it burning into her. "We… we didn't finish our conversation."
The words felt hollow in her mouth. Truthfully, she didn't want to go back to those painful topics they'd left unresolved, but anything –anything– was better than this. Anakin turned his head toward her, his sharp, assessing gaze sweeping over her from head to toe. The tension in his body radiated like a tangible force, the storm brewing inside him almost palpable. But then his attention shifted back to Vader and Padme felt the suffocating weight of unspoken words passing between them.
Her grip on Anakin tightened and she gave his arm a sharp tug. "Anakin," she murmured, her voice a quiet plea. It took several tugs before he finally relented, his movements stiff and reluctant as he allowed himself to be led away. Padme all but dragged him off that balcony, her pulse thundering in her ears. Even as they retreated, she could feel Vader's golden eyes on her, his gaze like an invisible touch she couldn't escape. It lingered on her skin, a searing caress she both longed to lean into and wished desperately to shove away.
As they stepped back inside, the door sliding closed behind them, Padme felt like she was drowning. She'd never felt so lost, so torn, so utterly confused. And for the first time, she wasn't sure if she'd ever find her way back to herself – or if she'd already been lost for far too long.
Anakin didn't return to their rooms with Padme. He walked her to the door, his movements stiff and detached and when she turned to face him, her eyes wide and pleading, he already knew what she was going to ask.
"Come inside," she begged softly, her voice trembling. She reached for his hands, grabbing at them but he gently stepped back, evading her grasp. "Please, Anakin. We need to talk."
Her desperation cut through him like a blade and it took everything in him to remain calm, to keep the storm inside him from spilling over. "Not right now," he said quietly. "There's something I need to take care of before we leave."
The door slid open behind her and Artoo chirped softly as he rolled out to join him. Padme's hand darted out again, this time clutching at the fabric of his tunic, her fingers curling tightly as if she could physically hold him there with her. "Ani, please," she whispered, her voice breaking. "We still have some time before we leave – come inside with me. Let's sort this out while we still can!"
He hesitated, his jaw clenching as he looked down at her. Her gorgeous hazel eyes shimmered with unshed tears, her fear and hurt laid bare for him to see. Force, he hated hated seeing her this way, so fragile, so vulnerable, because of him. Because he couldn't face her right now. He didn't even knowhowto begin to untangle the knot in his chest. "I'll be back soon," he promised softly, prying her hand free with a gentleness that made her face crumple before him. "I just… need a little time, Angel."
Padme's shoulders sagged and she looked away, her silence speaking volumes. Unable to stand this a second longer, Anakin stepped back, gesturing for Artoo to join him. The droid complied, his wheels humming softly as they moved down the hallway.
Anakin didn't look back. He couldn't.
He didn't know how long they spent wandering through the corridors of the Organa's palace, his thoughts a chaotic storm of anger and confusion he couldn't make any sense of. By the time he realized where he was, he had stumbled into the droid refit station, the faint hum of servomotors and the soft glow of diagnostic screens filling the quiet space. Relief washed over the Prince as he stepped inside. It wasn't much, but it was enough. He needed something to occupy his hands, something to keep him from marching back up to that balcony and shoving his fist into his brother's smug, infuriating face.
That wasn't a fight he walked in on,he thought bitterly, his mind replaying the scene over and over. He didn't knowwhatexactly was going on, but it wasn't the argument Vader had so casually dismissed it as. The thought made his blood boil. His jaw tightened as he crossed to a nearby workbench, scanning the array of parts and tools laid out before him. With a sharp exhale, he grabbed what he needed and crouched down before Artoo – he'd been meaning to rework the controls of his grip ridges and stabilising ring for weeks.
Artoo beeped softly beside him, his dome swivelling as he opened the correct compartments and let Anakin work.
"Don't look at me like that," he muttered, not breaking his focus. "I just need a minute, alright?"
The droid chirped a sceptical response and Anakin sighed, his shoulders slumping slightly. His hands paused mid-motion and he slumped back, stretching his legs out on either side of the astromech.
What the hell happened back there?
That question hung heavily in his mind, unanswered and suffocating. Anakin shook his head sharply, forcing himself to focus on the task in front of him. He tightened a wire, adjusted a circuit, anything to drown out the thoughts gnawing at him. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't silence the doubts creeping in, whispering all the things he didn't want to admit.
Why did this keep happening?
He knew he wasn't the perfect , the force itself probably knew was as far removed from the refined, sophisticated crowd Padme surrounded herself with as anyone could be. Despite his upbringing in the palace, despite the manners and etiquette drilled into him, Anakin Skywalker was still who he was.
He wasn't the kind of man who enjoyed an opera or a gallery opening over a thrilling podrace. He preferred dark, functional clothing, the kind that felt familiar and didn't make him stand out. His idea of a perfect evening off was grabbing a greasy plate of food at a low-level diner, not dining at some exclusive, trendy restaurant where everyone whispered behind gloved hands.
And Padme? She was none of those things. She waseverythinghe wasn't – incredibly intelligent, cultured, and so effortlessly elegant that it made his head spin. She was everywhere on the HoloNet, her fashion choices praised and analysed, her old speeches replayed in loops. She kept him updated on the latest trends and conversations, but most of it went right over his head.
He could still make her smile, though. Make her let go of that poised, aloof mask she liked to wear. He knew she secretly loved screaming across the skylanes in his cruiser, daring the controls to keep up with him as he swept and spun through Coruscant's busy air traffic. And, on occasion, when the adrenaline took hold of her, she'd shove him aside and take the controls herself, determined not to let him outdo her.
He knew she liked their quiet, secret dates in the lower levels, where his powers subtly bent recognition and manipulated memories so no one realized who they were. Those were the moments she seemed most at ease – when there weren't titles and publicity to think about. Justthem.
But what did theyreallyhave in common?
Anakin stared down at Artoo, his hands freezing mid-repair as the question pierced through his defences. He didn't like anything she liked, the thought twisted in his chest, sour and heavy. He just liked her. Adored her. was that enough?Couldit be enough to sustain an entire lifetime side by side?
His gaze darkened as the doubts piled higher. They didn't share any hobbies or interests. Not like she did with Vader.
His brother's name brought with it a surge of jealousy so sharp it made Anakin physically flinch. He could still hear their voices in his mind, laughing and debating for hours on the finer points of legislation, art, politics, and probably a hundred other things. The kind of conversations he couldn't even begin to keep up with. Anakin tried to listen in sometimes, to follow along, but more often than not, he found himself lost halfway through. The words blurred, the topics spiralling into a world he didn't understand – a world where Padme and Vader seemed so perfectly at home.
And that thought – the image of them together, aligned in ways he could never be – was unbearable. It clawed at him, leaving him raw and restless.
He slammed the tool he was holding down on the floor beside him, the loud clang echoing in the empty repair bay. His hands trembled as he leaned forward, his head bowed.
What was he doing?
The question lingered, but he didn't have an answer. Not yet. All he knew was the hollow ache in his chest, the nagging sense that something, somewhere, was slipping through his fingers, and he didn't know how to stop it.
He might have been born first, but his place in this galaxy was forever second. Second in line, second thought, second place. It was a shadow Anakin could never quite step out of, no matter how hard he tried. Some of it, he knew, he'd chosen for himself. Decisions made, paths walked, and sacrifices offered willingly. But other parts? Those were thrust upon him by forces beyond his control – by destiny, by circumstance, by the galaxy itself.
And no matter how much he fought, no matter how strong he became, that second place loomed over him like a constant reminder of what he could never truly claim.
Anakin leaned over Artoo, his hands moving automatically as he tightened a loose panel and adjusted a few wires. The familiar hum of the droid's systems filled the quiet room, but it did little to drown out his thoughts. For most of his life, Vader had been his constant. His brother. His other half. Despite their father's relentless attempts to sow discord between them, to manipulate and control them, they remained close. Anakin had fought tooth and nail to keep that bond strong, defying Sidious' twisted games to pit them against each other.
And for a long time, itworked. There was almost no one in the galaxy Anakin felt more loyal to, no one he trusted more than Vader. But somewhere along the way, something had shifted. The realization gnawed at him, sharp and relentless. Vader's priorities had changed – subtly at first, almost imperceptibly, but enough that Anakin now saw it.
It , it hurt.
Anakin's chest tightened as he adjusted a component in Artoo's circuitry, the droid chirping softly as if sensing his turmoil. His jaw clenched as his thoughts grew dark and all their father ever needed to truly turn them against each other was to introduce Padme into their lives. He and Vader would do the rest on their own.
That struck him, and he paused, his hands stilling as he stared blankly at the wires in front of him.
Anakin was always prepared to choose his brother – to help him, to stand by him, to be there for him no matter what. Even now, despite the strain it was placing on his marriage, despite all the fighting and unbearable distance, he'd stood by his twin's side. He'd prioritized Vader, believing it was the right thing to do, the only thing hecoulddo. But now… he was starting to think that Vader had been doing the opposite. That while he'd been fighting to hold everything together, his brother had been quietly unravelling it. Poisoning it. Sabotaging it.
But why?
His hands trembled as he resumed tinkering with Artoo, his movements less precise now, his emotions bleeding into his did he do to deserve this?
What did he lack that made Padme drawn to Vader?
That question echoed in his mind, painful and unrelenting. Anakin had tried to be everything for her, devoted, passionate, protective. But maybe it just wasn't enough. Maybehewasn't enough. What good was the Supreme Commander when one could have theEmperor?
What did Vader offer beyond his wealth and titles that Anakin couldn't? The question churned in his gut, promising to consume him. It wasn't just jealousy – it was confusion, frustration and a deep, gnawing sense of inadequacy.
He tightened a screw a little too forcefully and Artoo let out a protesting beep. Anakin sighed, his shoulders slumping as he set the tool down and rubbed his face with his hands. "I'm sorry, buddy, that was my fault," he murmured, patting the droid's dome. "I was miles away."
Anakin's jaw tightened as his thoughts spiralled further into anger, a fire building in his chest the longer he stewed. Why did Padme choosehimif she had feelings for Vader? Why make the vows, why marry him, why have Leia with him if he wasn't enough?
She hadchoices. He had given her every opportunity to choose his brother over him the first time this happened. When things were uncertain, when their feelings were raw and unresolved, she could have chosen differently. She could have gone to Vader. But she hadn't.
She had contactedhim.
She had marriedhim.
She had achildwithhim!
So why did it feel like he was always in second place? Why bother staying if he wasn't what she truly wanted? Anakin let out a frustrated growl under his breath as he tightened the last screw on Artoo, sealing the droid back up. He leaned back and exhaled heavily, running a hand through his dishevelled hair. The questions kept looping in his mind, no matter how much he tried to silence them.
He believed with his entire heart that Padme was his soulmate. He always had. From the moment he first saw her in the Senate building, it was as if the force itself had drawn them together. But now, sitting here in this empty repair bay, the crushing thought crept into his mind…Was he hers?
The very idea made his stomach churn. Was it possible that the force had destined him to love someone whose heart truly belonged elsewhere? That, to her, Anakinwasn'tthe one person she couldn't live without. His thoughts shifted, and with them, his anger reignited. This wasn't just about Padme. This was aboutVader.
Why did his brother have to do this? Why push and prod, always testing the boundaries? Why couldn't Vader respect the fact that Padme made her choice? Why couldn't he just leave them alone? It wasn't fair!Noneof it was fair.
They were supposed to be brothers. Anakin had risked his life more times than he could count for Vader's empire. He had stood by him when others had faltered, sacrificed parts of himself again and again to protect what they had built. And this?Thiswas what he got in return? His fists clenched as the resolve solidified in his more.
He didn't know what was going to happen now, what the future held for him, Padme, or his relationship with Vader. But one thingwascertain – he wasn't going to keep putting himself on the line for someone who seemed determined to destroy him.
The faint hum of Artoo's servos pulled him from his thoughts. Anakin glanced at the droid, who chirped softly, almost apologetically. He sighed, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly. "You and me, buddy," he murmured, patting the droid's dome. "At least I can always count on you."
A glance at the chrono on the wall made him wince. It was time. The delegations would be gathering on the landing roof to prepare for departure. Anakin pushed himself to his feet, his movements stiff with residual frustration. He couldn't let his anger show, not yet. Not in front of everyone. But as he left the repair bay, Artoo trailing behind him, the fire in his chest refused to going to change – he could feel it in his bones.
The wide expanse of the landing roof was bustling with activity. Droids of every size and shape rolled or shuffled about, hauling towering stacks of luggage, crates of equipment, and delicate parcels toward the awaiting transport ships. Above them all, the massive shadow of the Imperial flagship loomed, floating just beyond Alderaan's atmosphere like a silent sentinel.
Anakin stepped out onto the roof, his boots thumping against the polished stone as he surveyed the organized chaos. The cool breeze brushed against his face, but it did nothing to soothe the storm still churning within him. Once the droids finished their tasks, it would be time to board the transports and head back home.
Home.
Anakin fought the urge to wince at that word. It felt hollow now, a concept that had lost its shape and meaning.
Where even washomeanymore?
Was it with Padme, wherever she chose to settle? On Naboo, where she seemed determined to take Leia and start a new life, leaving behind the tangled mess of politics and war? Or was it still on Coruscant, in the Imperial Centre, where his duties awaited him? Where the Empire demanded his loyalty and Vader's shadow loomed over every decision?
Or maybe… maybe it wasn't anywhere at all. Maybehomewas something he had lost a long time ago and he just hadn't realized it until now.
The thought made his chest tighten, and for a moment, he hesitated, standing frozen amidst the commotion around him. The droids carried on, their movements precise and mechanical, unbothered by the weight of the galaxy pressing down on him.
Somewhere behind him, he heard the murmur of voices – delegates and officials exchanging pleasantries, making final preparations for departure. The sound was distant, almost drowned out by the hum of the transport ships' engines.
Anakin exhaled sharply, forcing his feet to move again. Whateverhomewas – or wasn't – he would have to face it soon. But for now, he had to get through this. One step at a time. One decision at a time. Even if each one felt heavier than the last.
As he stood on the landing roof, arms crossed and mind spiralling, he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. Padme emerged from the turbolift, flanked by Dorme and one of her other handmaidens. She moved with purpose, her purple travel dress flowing elegantly with her every step. The high neckline and long sleeves only accentuated her grace, while her hair, swept into an elaborate knot and pinned by a silver crescent, shone in the late afternoon light.
Even now, even with everything weighing on him, she made his heart race. She was breathtaking, effortlessly so, and he hated that he still felt this way, that she could still affect him so completely. The handmaiden was mid-sentence, but Padme didn't pause to listen, hurrying away from them, her focus entirely on him. Her steps quickened until she reached him, placing her hands on his chest, her fingers curling slightly into the fabric of his black tunic.
"Anakin," she said, her voice soft and urgent. "I was so worried about you when you didn't come back."
He wanted to believe her. He couldfeel itin her force signature – the sincerity of her worry, the ache of her concern. Butforce, he just couldn't let himself accept it right now. Not after everything.
Anakin's hands remained at his sides, stiff and unmoving, even as her touch warmed his chest. "I needed to clear my head," he said flatly, his voice devoid of the warmth she was reaching for. "I got caught up with Artoo's repairs."
Her eyes searched his face as if trying to find a crack in the wall he'd just put up. She stepped closer, her body pressing against his and it shattered something inside him.
It justbrokehis heart.
How could she act like this, so tender and loving, when he knew the truth? When he'd seen the way she turned to Vader, the way she looked at him? How could she press herself against him now and hold him as though nothing had changed, when it felt like everything was falling apart? Anakin's chest tightened, the ache inside him growing unbearable. He didn't pull away, but he didn't return the gesture either. He just stood there, caught between the love he couldn't let go of and the doubt that was eating him alive.
"Padme…" he started, his voice trailing off as he searched for the right words, the right thing to say. But what could he even say?
She tilted her head, her gaze softening, her lips parting to speak – but the words didn't come. The tension between them was thick and suffocating and the noise of the bustling roof seemed to fade into the background as they stood there, locked in a moment that neither of them knew how to escape.
The murmurs of conversation and the steady rhythm of footsteps filled the air, pulling Anakin back into the present. He felt his world shift and crack as members of the Royal delegation began sweeping onto the landing roof. Among them was Vader, flanked by several others, his presence as commanding as ever. Bail Organa dabbed a silken handkerchief across his damp forehead as he walked alongside Queen Breha, their quiet conversation barely audible over the hum of the transports preparing for departure.
Anakin swallowed hard, clearing his throat as he forced himself to stand straighter. He couldn't let anyone see what a state they had left him in. Whatever was boiling inside him, had to stay there, locked away. The last thing he needed was for the delegation to see cracks in the façade. But his attempt at composure faltered when his eyes flicked across the roof to his brother. Vader stood tall and proud, as he always did, but Anakinfeltit – the concern radiating from him, reaching outward like a subtle ripple in the force.
For a moment, his stomach sank, believing Vader's concern was for him. But then he realized, with sickening clarity, that his twin's golden eyes weren't focused on him at all.
They were onPadme.
Open. Obvious.
Blatant.
A hot curl of fury ignited in Anakin's chest, burning brighter and fiercer with every passing second. The urge to act, to claim what was his, to remind Vader in no uncertain terms of exactly where he stood, surged through him like a wildfire. His fists clenched at his sides as the imagined weight of a lightsaber filled his palm, a desperate, angry part of him demanding violence.
But the fragile thread of control he still held onto wrestled for dominance, pulling him back from the here. Not now.A brawl like last time would solve nothing. It would only embarrass Padme and leave both of them exposed to the delegation's watchful eyes. He couldn't do that to her – or himself.
Anakin tore his gaze away, focusing on anything else and that was when he spotted Sabe. She appeared at Vader's side, her head buried in her datapad as always, her steps brisk and purposeful. For a moment, his mind whirled with she know?Sabe had been his friend for years and she'dseenthe mess he was in last time. Would she have kept something like this from him if she knew? Would she have let it happen, knowing the damage it would cause in some misguided attempt to protect him?
shook his head, refusing to believe it. Sabe was his ally, his friend. She wouldn't know something and not tell him. Not after last time. The memory oflast timetwisted his stomach, a bitter reminder of just how easily everything could fall apart. He exhaled sharply, trying to steady himself, but his gaze drifted back to Padme despite himself.
Her posture was poised, her expression unreadable, but he could see the tension in her shoulders, the faint tremor in her hand as she smoothed her dress. She hadn't even glanced in Vader's direction, hadn't acknowledged his presence, and yet Anakin could feel the silent weight of something unspoken lingering between them.
What the hell was going on here?
The question burned in his mind as he forced himself to turn away, clenching his jaw as he stared at the transports. Whatever was happening, whatever had already happened, it wasn't going to unravel here. Not like this.
"The first transport is prepared for Prince Anakin, Princess Padme, and ten delegates," a silver protocol droid announced, its polished surface gleaming in the afternoon sunlight. Its voice was smooth and unfeeling, as it gestured toward the waiting shuttle. "Majesties, if you would like to follow me…"
Anakin sighed, the weight of the moment pressing heavily on him. The thought of being trapped inside that transport with Grand Moffs, Padme's handmaidens, and the guards, all while stewing in the storm of emotions that had been plaguing him since this morning – made his skin crawl.
He clenched his fists at his sides, the effort to maintain his composure growing more difficult with every passing second. Then, as if from nowhere, a hot surge of anger and resentment crashed into him. It burned through his chest, twisting into a knot that made him want to lash out or disappear entirely into some dark, quiet corner where he could finally breathe.
The words left his mouth before he could fully consider them.
"Vader should take my place," Anakin declared, his tone deliberately flat, though it barely masked the sullenness beneath. "I'll take the next one once it's ready."
The protocol droid tilted its head, momentarily confused by the deviation from the planned arrangements. Before it could respond, Organa stepped forward, dabbing at his forehead with that silken handkerchief again. "That's…" Bail hesitated, his sharp gaze flicking to Anakin before continuing. "The transport has been prepared for yourself and Padme." His voice carried the weight of surprise at the sudden change. "The larger transport will be ready for the Emperor momentarily."
Queen Breha frowned at her husband's interjection, her regal demeanour slipping just enough to betray her own curiosity. Anakin felt her sharp gaze linger on him for a moment, but he didn't look her way. Across the roof, Vader raised a single questioning eyebrow, but he remained silent. Anakin's subtle glare warned his brother off from making any comments.
He tore his gaze away, focusing instead on the horizon as his thoughts churned. He needed space –anyspace – if only for the fifteen minutes it would take to reach the Imperial flagship.
"Vader, Padme, Sabe, and the others can use this transport," he said firmly, his voice brooking no argument. "I'll take the next."
Sabe, who had been standing quietly off to the side with her datapad, frowned slightly, but she simply shrugged and allowed one of the red-cloaked Imperial guards to assist her into the shuttle. The other delegates followed suit, climbing aboard one by one until only two seats remained.
Padme, who had been watching the exchange with increasing unease, stepped toward him, her frown deepening.
"What are you doing?" She asked, her voice low and edged with confusion. "Why does it matter which transport you take? Why won't you come with me?"
Anakin exhaled sharply, forcing himself to meet her gaze. Her dark eyes searched his, her concern evident, but he couldn't let himself fall into that right now. He couldn't explain it – not here, not like this.
"It doesn't," he said curtly, his tone clipped. "I just need a moment." Her lips parted as if to argue, but Anakin turned away, signalling the conversation was over. He sensed the swell of outrage within her, the twist of anger clouding everything else as she began to walk away. It fed into his own, a petty and immature part of him lashing out simply because he couldn't keep the storm inside from spilling over. "I'm sure you'll prefer the company this way," he called after her, the venom in his voice almost startling even himself.
Padme froze mid-step, her back rigid. Slowly, she turned to look over her shoulder, her dark eyes burning with a mix of hurt and fury. The flush on her cheeks deepened and for one fleeting, shameful moment, it almost felt satisfying to see her as affected as he was.
"How could I not when you act this way?" She hissed back, her voice low but cutting, before spinning on her heel and marching toward the transport, heels clicking on the stone with every step.
Anakin's stomach twisted into knots as he watched her disappear into the transport. A moment later, Vader climbed in after her, his expression cool and unreadable, barely sparing him a glance as the doors slid shut behind him.
The instant the words left Anakin's lips, he knew he'd made a mistake. But the anger simmering beneath his skin refused to let him feel the full weight of it just yet. Glancing down at Artoo as he chirped softly, his dome twisted back and forth in what could only be interpreted as disapproval.
"Yeah, I know," Anakin muttered, crossing his arms over his chest. "I shouldn't have said that."
The droid beeped again, this time more pointedly, and he sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "Don't start," he grumbled.
But the truth was, Artoo didn't need to say anything. Anakin already loathed himself for the way he'd handled things. He hated it when they fought. They knew each other too well, knewexactlywhich buttons to press to hurt the most. And force help him, he just hated disappointing her.
But she was disappointing him, too. Greatly.
Hell, she was breaking his heart.
Anakin clenched his jaw as he watched the transport power on, its engines humming to life. The ship lifted into the air with practised ease, ascending higher and higher until it was nothing more than a faint dot in the endless blue sky. As he stood there on the landing roof, his mind spiralled with thoughts he couldn't contain.
If he wantedanyhope of fixing this, he had to follow her. He would have to go to Naboo and seriously consider stepping away from the military, no matter how impossible the idea felt.
Being in the military had been hiswhole soldiers were more than comrades – they were his brothers, his family in a way few people could ever understand. The thought of walking away from them felt like tearing out a part of his soul. And who would take his place? Who could he trust to lead in his stead? Who had the experience, the knowledge, the sheer will needed to carry the weight of command?
And there were deeper reasons too – ones he couldn't even bring himself to say out loud – that kept him tethered to his role. Reasons Padme didn't understand. Reasons he didn't know how to put into words yet. Anakin exhaled slowly, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides.
He was a violent man. He knew and accepted it. It was all he had ever known. He was born into darkness, raised in it, taught to survive by any means necessary. He learned how to maim and kill before he turned ten years old. Anakin had tortured people. He had killed more than he dared to count – people with families, people who had lives and futures he had snuffed out without a second thought.
And the worst part? He rarely looked back.
This was who he was,whathe was. The military gave him a place, a purpose for all that darkness he carried. Without it, he didn't know who he would be.
How could he explain that to her without seeing what love remained in her eyes turning to disgust? What if she thought he was a monster?
He knew what that looked like. He still remembered how she looked at him after he lost control on Varlo Hedsard.
Anakin shook his head, trying to quiet the thoughts clawing at him from every angle. For now, all he could do was stand there and watch the empty sky, hoping – praying – that when the time came, he would know what to do.
As he settled into his seat, the transport vibrating faintly beneath him as it powered up, he pressed his temple against the cool transparisteel window. The view of Alderaan's majestic mountains began to shrink as the shuttle ascended, but his thoughts were elsewhere, tangled and heavy.
Could he ever settle into a normal, peaceful life?
The question gnawed at him, unrelenting. The idea of stepping away from battle, from the structure and chaos that had defined his life for so long, felt alien. What would he do without the endless challenges, the missions, the fight to prove himself? Who would become of him without Rebels to hunt, soldiers to command, and enemies to destroy?
What if all that aggression – all the anger that burned so hot in his veins – had nowhere to go?
That chilled him to his core. What if it festered, turned inward, or worse,outward? What if, without the outlet of the military, that darkness consumed him?
What if he lost control?
His stomach twisted as his mind spiralled down a path he rarely let himself tread. What if one day he took that rage, that unrelenting fire, out on the people he loved most? Padme. Leia.
Anakin squeezed his eyes shut, his hands gripping his knees tightly enough to make his knuckles . No, it was unthinkable!He wouldnever!
But the fear was there, dark and insidious, biting at the edges of his resolve. He knew what anger could do, how it could twist even the strongest minds and the purest intentions. He had seen it in his father when he let power and fury consume him.
He opened his eyes, his reflection staring back at him in the transparisteel, pale and if he was no different?The very idea made him want to retch. He would rather drive his lightsaber through his own chest than lay a hand on Padme or Leia. He loved them too much, more thananythingin the galaxy. They were his anchor, his purpose, the light that kept him from spiralling too far into the darkness.
But what if one day, that wasn't enough?
Anakin exhaled shakily, his breath misting the window briefly before it disappeared. He pressed his fingers to his forehead, trying to push those thoughts away, but they clung to him like shadows. He had to believe in himself, in the father Leia looked up to. But that fear, deep and buried though it was, lingered.
All he could do was try. Try to hold onto the light. Try to make the choices that kept him close to his family, to the life he wanted to build with them. But the uncertainty, the nagging question ofwhat if?was a weight he didn't know how to put down.
As the transport soared higher, his instincts roared to life just as a deep groaning sound resounded. Anakin jumped to his feet and –
BOOM!