Chapter 55: Cool poker face

Important characters

Jessie (Male Tentacool/Ex-Human)

Abra (Male and loving it)

*pokecenter healing noise*

"Thanks nurse!" Jessie sported a brand new bandage on his head, waterproof of course, as he dove into the sea. Beside him on the edge of the city, leaning limply against a fence, Abra stared out over the ocean in a state of depression.

"Need I ask what's the matter?"

-"I need money."

"Don't we all?"

-"NO! I didn't need money at any time in my life before now, why do I need it so badly now? I WANT coffee, but I can't GET coffee until I GET a fat load of cash! It's Tauros shit!"

"Yeah, capitalism is a bitch"

*shock* -"Woah, I've never heard you swear before."

"I have a daughter. Try to be a good role model and- I'm getting off topic. Look, I wanna help, but I wanna go see how my friends are doing more. We were kinda doing something important when we got separated."

-"So you keep telling me. I get it, but I would be a lot more helpful to you if I didn't have this raging migraine. Trust me, you're gonna need my help to take on that shadow fuck that stole my friend. So this isn't just me being selfish."

"Right, so 'you' keep saying."

-"Bite me."

"Well... it doesn't look like my friends are here yet, why don't we give it one last try? But working together this time, not just throwing me at the first trainers that look our way."

-"You got any ideas, Mr. smart guy?"

"Maybe." Looking around the West side of town, Jessie tries to remember everything his old flame from before he was turned into a pokemon told him about this city.

"Hey, is that old game corner still up and running? The one with the Voltorb Flip?"

-"Nah, the guy running that place got booked for fudging the cards."

"I KNEW IT!"

-"Yeah, they got replaced by some fancy new casino or whatever the humans call it."

"Now there's an idea, why don't we try gambling? I mean it's a terrible idea normally, but you're a psychic type! Maybe you can 'fudge the cards' in our favor?"

-"Gambling? You're gonna have to explain that one to me."

"Sure, Abra. I'll explain it on the way. Just uh, find me a big bucket or something."

Goldenrod City Game Corner!
The number one entertainment center in the whole region! Fill your eyes with the sights and sounds of a grand spectacle and fill your pockets with wonderful prizes!

*Below the advertisement is a tiny label associating this place with "Pokeathelon", a now defunct organization which only exists as a small sports area where older trainers go to let their pokemon run around for a few minutes*

-"Ow, all these flashing lights, the insanely loud sounds, just standing in this place is giving me a headache! Are you sure we can get TMs here?"

"Oh yeah, I'm certain of it. My boyfriend used to come down here all the time back when it was just two old guys and their single game board. Even if it was a total ripoff, he would bring home loads of cool stuff. Even got himself some rare pokemon!"

"And looking at the revitalized Game Corner, it's looking like they upped the ante!" Jessie points at a row of shiny looking discs, rare items, and pictures of pokemon hanging above an entire rack of pokeballs! Abra cringes at the one showing his own species.

-"And you're sure they won't just... grab one of us and put us on sale?"

"Yeah, no worries. I'm un-catchable and I've got enough sway to make sure that anyone trying to catch you will be in a mound of legal trouble!"

-"For real? ...Damn, if you're telling the truth-"

"When have I ever lied?!"

-"-then I'm seriously impressed! I bagged some kinda big shot dragging you out of that well!"

"Yeah yeah, keep reminding me why don't ya? Now listen, I'm gonna explain how this all works. First, we buy some tokens."

-"Gotcha." Abra exchanges $1,000 for 50 coins.

"Next, we pick out a game and put some coins in."

-"On it!" He starts dumping coins into a slot machine and pulls the lever.

"Next we- WAIT WAIT FOR ME TO GIVE DIRECTIONS!"

-"Huh?" The Clefary on screen falls over. LOSE

"Abra, I was going to say, we use your powers to cheat and rake in a fortune!"

-"Oh yeah... Well, that would've been a great idea, but they've got some kind of anti-cheat thing going on here. Those Mr. Mime over there have got all kinds of invisible barriers up."

"...Damn. Okay, fuck it. I'll have to do this the old fashioned way. You just go and, I don't know, put 10 coins on black and let it rise?"

-"Right... I'll do that..."

"Over at that table."

-"Okay, I'll get it right this time!" *teleport*

"Yeah, we'll see about that. Okay big players, time to watch Jessie, the luckiest Tentacool in the world, work his magic!" With 37 coins to his name, Jessie sets out on a gambling quest!

Surprisingly, he doesn't go broke right away! Perhaps the other gamblers doubted a pokemon could play and relaxed their guard, or perhaps he just happened to pick a few lucky slot machines... But let's be honest here, it's because he's a jellyfish without any facial expressions. Best poker face since that time a Voltorb came in here... Before it self destructed.

"Yes! 237 chips! Won't be long now, buddy! Won't be long now... Hey Abra, where'd you get off to?"

-"All in on Black."

*spinning*

"Oh hey bud, you still playing? I thought for sure you'd go bust a while ago."

-"Yeah no, I did. I think? 'Going bust' means losing, right? But hey I met this sweet old lady who put me on her lap and petted me lots. She gave me some of her coins whenever I lost and put some of my winnings in this bucket whenever I won."

"Oh, that's... oddly kind of her."

-"What can I say? I have a way with elderly people. That said, I don't have all that many coins. Because-"

12 Red

-"That keeps happening."

"Ah damn, sorry to hear that. But hey, at least you had fun! And hey, I managed to get a pretty good haul!"

-"Oh, nice! All in." The Abra, not knowing what gambling was even a few minutes earlier, pulls another fist full of coins from a massive bucket at his side and piles them up on a single number, with lots of little piles around that number.

*spinning*

"...Have you been putting all your coins on 29 Black? No wonder you haven't been winning much. The odds of you getting anything playing like that are-"

29 Black

"...low."

-"Low, but not zero! ...Right? I wasn't making a stupid mistake all this time, was I?"

"No no... well yes, it was pretty stupid."

-"FUCK!"

"But it looks like we're gonna get you that Coffee today after all!"

-"FUCK YEAH!"