Chapter 15: Explanation

"I've been thinking about something," Paul murmured, stroking my hair. "You never told me how you ended up here."

We'd made it into his bedroom and we were snuggled together under his blankets. My stomach tightened slightly at what he'd asked me—I'd somehow been able to explain away all of my travelling without delving into too many gory details about my revenge trip. I'd mentioned it in passing when I'd told him about my time with the Volturi but I hadn't explained that that was the main reason for majority of my travelling over the years.

"Do you remember when I told you about being captured by the Volturi?" I asked and he nodded. "And do you remember when I mentioned that their leader saw in my mind that I was searching for the vampire who turned me?"

"Vaguely," he admitted. "Honestly, I was a bit more focused on the fact that you were starved for months."

"That's fair," I said, laughing weakly. "Well, I've been searching for the vampire who turned me pretty much since I was turned. I ended up in Washington because I was following a lead in Vancouver, but I'd hit a dead end so I decided to continue South to maybe pick up a trail and hunt."

"And did you find a lead here?"

I shook my head. "No, nothing. I'm admittedly not a great tracker."

"Can I ask why you're searching for them so intensely?"

"When he turned me, as far as I know, he didn't mean to actually turn me," I explained. "When I woke up, he was gone. I'm sure he meant to just kill me but the venom worked its' way through my system. I'm trying to hunt him down so I can return the favour."

"Do you know why he decided to bite you?"

"Are you sure you want to know?" I asked as lightly as possible.

"You know that I want to know everything I can about you," he said, pressing a kiss to my temple.

"Well, when I was growing up, I wasn't the best teenager," I admitted. "I started seeing a guy and the fact that my parents disapproved of him made me want to stay with him even more. After a while, I realized that I was only staying with him to upset my parents, but instead of just ending it with him…I ended up cheating on him.

"I was just going to cut ties with him, but then his mother appeared to me and begged me to pass along a message to him," I continued. "I didn't want to, but I eventually gave in. When we did end up talking about it, we got into a huge argument and I admitted to cheating on him. He got incredibly angry with me and as it turned out, he was a vampire. He bit me and left me to die."

Just like when I'd told the Cullens the story of how I'd been turned, I'd omitted a huge part of it. As much as I wanted to tell Paul about that specific painful memory, I couldn't bring myself to do it.

I knew that I'd eventually tell him about the loss that I'd suffered along with my humanity, but now didn't feel like the right time for me to do it.

"When I woke up from my transformation, his mother appeared to me again and explained everything that had happened to me," I continued. "That was when I decided to hunt him down and get revenge on him for what he'd done to me."

Paul was quiet as he absorbed what I'd told him. "You're going to leave, aren't you?"

I hesitated for a moment, my conversation with Alice flitting through my mind. "If I find another lead, I'll go after him." I noticed Paul's face falling slightly, so I turned his face so he was forced to meet my eyes. "I would come back to you."

He chuckled. "Do you really think that I'd let you do that on your own?"

I smiled, knowing that it didn't touch my eyes and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "I appreciate that."

"You wouldn't want me to go with you, though, would you?"

I took a deep breath. "I don't think he'd take too kindly to me going after him. It wouldn't be safe for you to come and help me, as much as I'd want you there."

"So you'd put your life at risk for this revenge plot?" he asked.

"He took my life away from me, Paul," I said. "He took away my humanity and then completely abandoned me. I almost would've preferred it if I'd actually died."

"But then you never would've met me," he said, feigning offence.

"That's why I said 'almost'," I teased.

"What does the transformation feel like?" he asked.

"It's the worst pain I've ever felt," I said. "It feels like your entire body has been set ablaze and it lasts for three days."

"Three days?" he repeated. "And you went through that on your own?"

I nodded. "At a certain point, I think I just locked my muscles into place so I wouldn't tear my throat out or anything."

"That sounds…"

"Intense?" I supplied.

He nodded. "I just don't think I ever realized how painful it would be. I mean, it hurts when I phase but it's quick. I can't imagine three whole days of constant pain."

"I wish I could say that at a certain point you stop feeling it," I said. "But I remember every second of it."

"No wonder your kind is so strong," he said, teasing lilt to his voice. He opened his mouth to say something else, but his phone ringing in the living room cut him off. He groaned in annoyance. "That's probably Sam."

Almost involuntarily, my hold on him tightened. "Do you have to answer it?"

"He'll just keep calling," he said with a sigh. "And at a certain point he'll just show up here. I'll be right back." He pressed a kiss to my forehead and got out of bed, wrapping a blanket around his waist as he went.

I tightened the blankets around me and settled myself more comfortably against the pillows on his bed, inhaling his warm and spicy scent that clung to his belongings.

"Shit! Yeah, okay, I'll be right there," I heard him frantically say on the phone. He rushed back into the bedroom and quickly pulled on a pair of shorts.

"Is everything okay?" I asked, sitting up straighter in bed.

"Yeah, Sam just needs my help with—"

He cut himself off and I raised a brow at him. "With what?"

"There's a…situation," he said carefully. "And Sam needs all hands on deck for it."

"A vampire situation?" I asked.

He closed his eyes and exhaled deeply. "Yeah, Jacob, Embry, and Quil caught wind of a vampire on our land—she's one we've been after for a while."

"Did you think I'd be upset about that?" I asked.

"I mean…I'm out there hunting your kind," he said sheepishly.

"Just don't imprint on this one, okay?" I teased.

He came back to me and kissed me deeply. "Wouldn't dream of it."

"Should I come with you?" I asked. "Is there any way I can help?"

He chuckled. "We'll be fine, don't worry."

"Be careful," I said.

"I'll be back before you know it."

"I'll be here," I said.

He pressed another kiss to my lips and rushed out of the apartment so that he could hunt for the vampire that had been causing the wolves so much trouble. I stayed in his bed for half an hour before I couldn't handle it anymore and I got up, wrapping myself up in one of his sweaters and stepping out onto his balcony. I sat on one of the patio chairs out there and gazed out into the forest, twisting my ring on my finger as worry ate away at me.

I knew that the wolves were strong, but I was also acutely aware of how strong vampires were.

I sat out on his balcony for a few hours, trying not to think about what could be happening to Paul as he ran through the woods with his brothers and sister.

At four in the morning, my phone rang and I felt my stomach turn anxiously. I looked over at my phone on the little patio table and furrowed my brow as I saw that Alice was calling me.

"Hey, Natalie…there's something I need to talk to you about," she said, sounding nervous.

"What's wrong?"

"Well…earlier tonight there was a…situation with Paul."

"What happened?" I asked sharply.

"Well…Emmett may have crossed the treaty line," she began to explain. "We were under the impression that where Emmett crossed was neutral territory between us, but Paul disagreed. The two of them sort-of got into it and then Rosalie got involved because she was mad about Paul basically attacking Emmett, and it sort-of…escalated from there."

I blew all the air out of my lungs. "Is everyone okay?"

"Yeah, I don't think anyone got seriously hurt," she said. "Paul might be a little scratched up—Rosalie was not happy. We had to get Jasper and Carlisle to diffuse the situation and calm everyone down. Once Rosalie and Paul got into it, the entire pack was just about ready to attack."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "What a mess."

"It is," she agreed. "I hate to do this, but Carlisle's asked me to ask you if you could just make sure Paul's not…planning anything."

"Planning anything?" I repeated.

"He's concerned that Paul is going to try to ambush Emmett or something," she said. "We're all going to have to work together with this and it'll be easier if Paul isn't holding on to any anger from earlier."

"Alice…I really don't think Paul is going to be that angry," I said.

"We had to hold Emmett back from going after him again," Alice said gently. "Even when we were back at the house, both Emmett and Rosalie were angry about what had happened. They've promised not to do anything, but we just want to make sure Paul's on the same page."

"Okay, yeah, I'll talk to him about it," I said. "God, I should've been there to help."

"Don't worry about it," she said. "The same thing would have happened even if you'd been there."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," I mumbled. I heard Paul's key in the apartment door. "I'll talk to you later."

"Bye, Nat."

We ended the call and I stayed out on the balcony, waiting for Paul to find me. Within seconds I heard the balcony door open and he wrapped his arms around me, kissing my cheek and lifting me out of the chair so he could sit with me curled in his lap.

I turned and met his eyes and saw yellow bruising around his left eye and a small cut on his lip. His chest and arms had small bruises and cuts peppered along them and I stiffened slightly.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, fine," he muttered. "It just comes with the territory of chasing a vampire—especially this one."

"You don't need to lie to me," I said. "Alice called."

He huffed out a breath. "One of your roommates crossed the border. I have a bad temper as it is and it's harder to control when I've phased."

"You could've been seriously hurt," I chided.

He chuckled. "I could've taken him."

"He's stronger than me," I pointed out. "And we were a pretty even match in our arm wrestling match."

"I wasn't using my full strength for that and I'm stronger when I've phased," he said. "The blonde one, though…she packs quite a punch."

"She wasn't going to let anything happen to him," I said. I took a deep breath. "Paul…you're not going to…try anything are you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're not going to go after either of them because you're angry about this?" I asked. "That's the last thing I'd need right now."

He chuckled. "Nah, I'm over it."

"Promise?"

"I promise," he said. "I can't make any promises if they cross over again, though…"

"Paul—"

"I'm kidding," he said with a laugh. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but they were actually a big help tonight. We all want the same thing—to catch her."

"Who is she?"

"Some vampire who's holding a grudge against the Cullens and us," he said. "Apparently the Cullens killed her mate a year or so ago and then earlier this year we took out a friend of hers. She has a talent for evading us and it's driving us all nuts."

"Be careful," I said, snuggling closer to him which made his arms tighten around me slightly.

"Worried about me?" he teased.

"She sounds dangerous," I said. "Rosalie nearly took you out and she's not nearly as dangerous as this vampire seems to be."

"Blondie wouldn't have done anything," he said. "The doctor wouldn't have let her. And then the blond guy…he calmed everyone down. It was like I couldn't be angry anymore."

"Yeah, that's his power," I said. "He can manipulate emotions."

"It's a bit annoying," Paul admitted. "As soon as they left, I felt my anger spike again almost immediately."

"Well, I'm glad he was there to calm you all down," I mumbled. "Who knows what would've happened if he hadn't been there."

"Hey," he said, turning my face to his. "I will be fine."

"I just don't want anything to happen to you," I murmured, pressing my lips against his neck.

"I know," he said gently. "But I have to do it—it's my duty." He was quiet for a few moments, running his hand along my arm before saying, "You look good in my sweater."

I laughed. "It's very cozy."

I sat curled in his arms as dawn broke the horizon and the sun began to rise, illuminating the morning sky and my skin. We watched the sunrise together, enjoying the moment of quiet serenity between us.