AN: Updates will slow down a little bit for this story with the holidays and general busyness. Hope everyone has a happy holiday and stay safe!

Chapter 22: Reluctance

I didn't want to leave Montana.

It was the morning of our last day there and Paul was still fast asleep in bed beside me. The past four days had been filled with multiple excursions in the wilderness, late nights looking up at the stars together, and serene moments sitting together by the fire. I didn't think it was possible, but it felt like Paul and I had developed an even deeper connection than we'd already had.

He seemed like a completely different person without the stress of the pack weighing on his shoulders. The tension had completely melted away from him and he was actually getting the rest that he needed.

I slid out of bed, wrapping myself up in one of his flannel shirts and padding down to the kitchen. I'd thought about our conversation about how I probably couldn't cook very well and wanted to test that theory.

As quietly as I could, I began to gather ingredients and I grabbed a mixing bowl and a pan, reading from a recipe off my phone. I measured the ingredients perfectly and mixed them together to the proper consistency. I took a deep breath before pouring part of the mixture into the hot frying pan, keeping a careful eye on how it was cooking.

Soon enough, the scent of cooked pancakes filled the air and I could only hope I'd done a somewhat decent job at making them. I was so focused on what I was doing that I didn't even hear Paul descend the stairs and enter the kitchen.

He wrapped his arms around my waist from behind and pressed a gentle kiss to my cheek. "Testing out the stove, huh?"

"I was going to bring you breakfast in bed," I said.

"And what did I do to deserve that?"

"Honestly, it's more for me," I said, not taking my eyes off the pancake that I was frying. "I wanted to see if I could do it."

He chuckled. "They smell good."

"That's a good sign."

He let go of me to let me continue my attempt at making pancakes for him. Once I'd gone through all of the batter I'd made, I took the plate I'd been stacking them on and placed them in front of him at the table. I sat down next to him and watched intently as he took the first bite.

"You know, it really isn't fair that you're good at everything," he said, grinning at me.

"They're good?" I asked anxiously.

"Nat, they're amazing," he said.

"Really?"

"Would I lie to you?"

"You might, to make me feel better," I said.

He laughed. "No I would absolutely tell you if they were bad so that I'd have one leg up on you with something."

I laughed and leaned over to press a kiss to his cheek. "Okay, yeah, I guess you're right."

While he ate, I stood from the table and started to wash the dishes. He finished eating before I was done washing them, so he joined me at the sink and helped me.

As we stood together at the sink, I felt human again. Doing such a simple, mundane task with him made it feel like we were a normal couple as we joked around and splashed each other with the soapy water.

"What time do we have to leave?" he asked once the dishes were dried and put away.

"Checkout's at twelve," I said, eyeing the clock on the stove that told us we only had half an hour before we had to leave.

He sighed. "I wish we could stay longer."

"You read my mind."

"Thank you again for planning this," he said, pressing his lips against mine. "I really needed it."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it," I said.

"Did you have a good time?" he asked.

"Of course," I said. "Always when I'm with you."

He chuckled. "You're too kind."

We went upstairs together and packed up all of our belongings and re-made the bed. We did one last sweep of the cabin to make sure we didn't forget everything before loading up Paul's car with everything we'd brought with us.

I leaned against his car and gazed up at the cabin, feeling incredibly reluctant to leave. As much as I enjoyed living in Forks, I knew that going back there was just going to amplify Paul's stress. He'd been so happy and at ease for the past few days and I knew that as soon as we went back, we'd be hit with more of the same chaos that we'd left behind.

"We'll come back," Paul promised, noticing how I was looking at the cabin.

"I know we will," I said. "It's just that I know that we're about to head back into a shit-show once we get back to Washington."

"Don't remind me," he groaned.

"Back to reality, I guess," I grumbled. I went to get into the driver's side of his car, but he snatched the keys out of my hand.

"You drove on the way here, I'll drive us home."

"You should rest before you have to go back to patrolling," I said.

"I got plenty of rest over the past four days," he said. "Is my driving that bad?"

"Well, I wasn't going to say anything, but…"

He laughed. "Cheeky."

We got into his car and he started it, the engine purring to life. He backed out of the driveway leading to the cabin and soon enough we were on the way back to Washington.

I gazed out the window as he drove, gloomily watching as the picturesque view of the mountains disappeared behind us. I hadn't expected to feel this way as our little trip came to a close—I'd lived a nomadic lifestyle for so long that I'd rarely had a place to stay and call home. Will and I had travelled from country to country, only staying in one place for a year or two at most. There had been occasions when we'd returned to a city or town that we'd enjoyed, but for the most part we'd just lived out of our duffel bags and stayed on the move.

"What are you thinking about?" Paul asked gently, reaching over and grasping my hand.

"I didn't expect leaving to feel like this," I said.

He laughed. "It's that post-vacation depression kicking in."

"I'm not used to staying in one place," I admitted. "It feels weird to be going 'home.'"

"Do you regret agreeing to stay in Forks?" he asked.

"Of course not," I said.

"I wouldn't blame you if you did regret it," he said. "You were kind-of forced into it."

"If I hadn't wanted to stay, I wouldn't have," I said, squeezing his hand. "It's just that I don't think I'd anticipated how much adjusting I'd have to do. It's strange having a place to call home."

"Now, are you talking about my apartment or the Cullens' place?" he asked, teasing lilt to his voice.

"I guess technically the Cullens' place," I said. "But your apartment feels more like home to me."

"The offer for you to move in still stands," he said.

"Like I said before, Jared wouldn't appreciate it."

"And like I said before, he'd get used to it."

"Hmm…I don't think he would," I said.

"He spends most of his time at Kim's anyway," he said with a shrug. "Who knows, maybe I'll need to find a new roommate soon."

"Well, when that happens I'll be there," I promised, leaning over and kissing his cheek.

"Do you want to stay over tonight or are you sick of me yet?"

"Well…is Jared going to be there?" I asked.

"That shouldn't affect your answer."

"But it does," I said. "He shouldn't be uncomfortable in his own apartment."

"He shouldn't be uncomfortable with you period," he grumbled. "But to answer your question, no he won't be there tonight. He's patrolling."

"Then yes, I'll stay over," I said. "And to answer your question, I don't think I'll ever get sick of you."

He chuckled and squeezed my hand. "I'm glad to hear that."

Paul drove the rest of the way to La Push, singing along to the radio and laughing with me with whole way. I was glad that he was in good spirits despite our little trip ending. I'd completely enjoyed travelling with him and I was excited for what future trips we'd take together.

If, of course, the Volturi didn't come after me. It had been more than a decade since they'd come after me and I knew that it was just a matter of time before Aro sent members of the guard for me. I refused to let those thoughts get to me—I couldn't let Paul know that something was wrong. He'd be able to tell if I started thinking about it too much and I couldn't have that conversation with him.

Not yet.

He parked in his parking spot at his building and we went up to his apartment. Once inside, he began rooting through his cupboards and the fridge for something to eat while I sprawled out on the couch.

"I think I'm gonna order a pizza," he said, heaving a big sigh. "We have no food."

"You finished Sue's stew?"

"Yeah, it's long gone," he said. "Do you want anything?"

I laughed. "From the pizza place?"

"Yeah, you like pizza, don't you?"

"Of course," I said. "I'll have whatever you're having."

"Maybe we can share," he said with a laugh. He ordered his pizza and then joined me on the couch. I rested my head in his lap and he ran his fingers through my hair, gently massaging my scalp as he did it.

His pizza arrived within twenty minutes and he put on the third Nightmare on Elm Street film so we could have another quiet night together before he was forced to go back to the reality of patrolling the streets with his pack brothers and sister.