Hey guys, TheDoctor1998 here with a new fic! Now that Hazbin Hotel has had its first season, and Helluva Boss is halfway done, I decided to write this little ficlet.
There will be some changes to cannon for the Hellaverse to make it fit with the SCP verse. For example, Lilith is still married to Lucifer, she just had a vacation on Earth that went on a little longer due to being captured by the Foundation.
This story was also started prior to season 2 of Hazbin and season 3 of Helluva, so there may be some discrepancies with the fic later on.
Now, on with the show!
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Deep within the bowels of one of the SCP Foundation's numerous containment facilities, specifically Site 17, sat a man. A man that was labeled as SCP-343 by the Foundation. Descriptions of him vary, with some saying he's a European man with long hair and a flowing beard. Others say he's an African man with a bald head. Some even say he's an Asian man with a mustache rivaling that of any Japanese or Chinese emperor.
What all agree on, though, is that he's old, and that his image is a fitting image of whatever they think of when someone asks them to picture what God looks like.
Of course, this was neither fully true, nor fully false. This man was indeed the Abrahamic God, albeit a more limited form he crafted for himself to be able to walk among the mortals.
True, his abilities still put him leagues above the average reality bender, but his true strength would tear this physical avatar apart. If he were to rewrite reality in truly enormous ways, the sheer power would cause his form to disintegrate. Equally, if he unlocked the full knowledge of his mind, the sheer amount of information would overload his fleshy brain. Thus, he put a few limitations on this body, allowing him his vacation from the paradise that was Heaven.
Though, to call it a vacation wouldn't be fully accurate. True, the relaxation of not having to deal with the mountains of paperwork in Heaven's bureaucracy was nice, but he also came down to understand the humans a bit better while doing some soul searching.
He was a different God from back in the day. No longer would he just cause massive plagues, including the murder of innocent children. No longer would he smite those that have personally offended him.
No longer would he cast one of his own followers, his very own child, out of Heaven into the pit they created by accident, just because of said mistake.
He sighed at the thought of his son, his little Morningstar, and how God had been so hasty with punishing him, and his friends that stood with him. And going even further, changing the other seven Archangels into the Seven Heavenly Virtues, while tying the concept of the newly created Sins to his boy and his friends.
Belphegor, a healer who had trouble with maintaining a good sleep schedule and staying awake, became the Sin of Sloth. Leviathan, an angel who helped with aquatic life and had a split personality, became the two headed Sin of Envy. Asmodeus, a kinky angel who wanted to bring entertainment, became the Sin of Lust. Mammon, another entertainer who had issues with materialism, became the Sin of Greed. Beelzebub, a maker of parties and an excellent cook, became the Sin of Gluttony. Satan, the aggressive leader of the Exorcists, became the Sin of Wrath. And finally, his Lucifer, the endless creative who felt left out during the creation of humanity, became the Sin of Pride for his actions.
To make matters worse, the woman he had literally fallen for was also contained by the Foundation, though much less willingly than he was. God guessed that Lilith, or SCP-336 as the Foundation calls her, had one of her regular vacations on Earth before getting caught and trapped by some MTFs. He had to give it to them, catching and imprisoning the Queen of Hell wasn't a small feat. Though, if God's estranged son managed to find out what happened, he'd have no doubt he'd turn the entire building to ash just to save her.
Speaking of those in the afterlives, God sensed something strange in both Heaven and Hell. Frowning, he quickly decided to look at what happened. And what he saw both amazed and horrified him.
'Adam, why?' God asked himself in grief. He saw his First Man, once a flawed figure that cared for his kids above all else, gleefully slaughtering his descendants in Hell. He saw a group of close knit cannibals wielding holy weapons to defend themselves, as well as a ragtag bunch of Sinners that were doing most of the heavy lifting in the fight. And was that another fallen angel there?! How the there did that Saint get banished from Heaven?!
Then he saw one of the things that drew his attention. A snake Sinner, sacrificing himself to try and stop Adam and protect his friends. God prayed for him, hoping that he'd build a good life in Corbenic, when he saw something even he had long dismissed as impossible.
The Sinner got redeemed, and was reborn a Saint in Heaven.
He was so filled with joy that he'd almost forgotten what Adam was doing in Hell. Almost. Once he looked back, he saw him holding a painfully familiar looking demon girl by the throat. Not a Sinner, she didn't feel like one, but definitely not something he'd seen before.
"Let. Me. Go!" The girl yelled at him, looking in desperation.
"This fight was cute and all, but it's time to die with the rest of them!" Adam said back, allowing the now crying demon girl to see the Sinners surrounded by the Exorcists as his mask glitched with his malicious smile.
The fallen angel girl even rushed up to them, likely trying to save the girl before she got tackled by an Exorcist missing an arm. "Charlie!" The angel yelled in desperation, and God could feel the love she had for her. And the fear of what Adam was going to do.
God was about to step in, demanding Adam explain just what he was doing, when someone God hadn't seen in so long stepped in.
The Fallen Archangel. The King of Hell. The Deadly Sin of Pride. Lucifer Morningstar himself, punching Adam and breaking his mask before catching the demon girl.
"Dad?"
That word. That one word caused God to freeze. 'I have a granddaughter.' He thought. 'And Adam nearly killed her.'
"See, you messed with my daughter, and now I am going to fuck you!"
God blinked. 'Did… Did he really just say that?' And looking at the battlefield, it became clear he wasn't the only one who heard it. Adam looking in disgust, the fallen angel and one armed Exorcist stopping their fight, and even all the other Exorcists and the Sinners stopping their battle.
"It's fuck you up, dad." Charlie cringed, correcting Lucifer.
"Wait, what did I say?" He asked before Adam took the initiative. God could honestly say he was amused. Lucifer's naturally chaotic manner, raw power, and shapeshifting made him more than a match for Adam, as the King of Hell was humiliating the First Man.
Then, it all went wrong, with Adam once again nearly killing Charlie, before the Nephilim managed to catch his attack and throw him to the ground.
The sheer look of rage on Lucifer's face was something God had never seen before. Sure, the Morningstar could get upset at both his siblings and God himself at times, but never did Lucifer get this consumed by rage before.
"You come at me, and my daughter. Don't forget, you're in my house, bitch!" The Devil raged, brutally beating Adam up with fists coated in hellfire.
Once again, God was about to intervene himself, though this time he was interrupted by Charlie instead, who said to her dad that Adam had enough.
And then Adam had a breakdown, distracting both himself and God from the danger that appeared behind him. And once again, God's heart broke, seeing that crazy Sinner he'd seen going around stabbing the Exorcist corpses stab Adam in the back a ton of times. Like, enough times to turn his torso into Swiss cheese.
God was shocked, both the situation and Adam's death causing him to freeze up until the surviving Exorcists went back to Heaven. By the time he'd gathered his senses, Adam was already walking through the deserts of Corbenic, watching in confusion at the glow of its three moons.
SCP-343 thought about it for a few days, processing the information. Adam's death, redemption, the existence of his granddaughter. Hell, he was sure that Lilith shouldn't have been able to bear children. Though, he supposed Lucifer could've used his magic to make sure Charlie could've survived childbirth, even if it would push him to his limits.
"SCP-343, are you alright?" A female voice shook him from his thoughts. Looking up, he saw an SCP Foundation researcher. While she wasn't as infamous as Bright or Clef, or as well known as Gears, she was in charge of the lecture program. A program which actively helped Foundation staff when it came to anything related to the Foundation and its SCPs.
Doctor Nori was an interesting figure. Infected with a vampire plague altered by Sarkic Cults as a kid, before escaping and defecting to the SCP Foundation. She then got seriously hurt during one of SCP-682's containment breaches, causing her to use SCP-212 on herself in the chaos, becoming the cybernetic creature she now is, infected by an eldritch computer virus courtesy of Prometheus Labs and some sects of the Church of the Broken God.
The woman had purple hair, one purple eye, an LED screen showing the image of another purple eye, a mechanical right arm, and mechanical legs. If he was a mortal man, he'd say she was quite attractive, even with the mechanical parts grafted onto her form.
"Yes, I'm fine." God waved her off. "It's just that I learned a few… interesting things several days ago."
"What kind of interesting?" Nori asked God with a certain level of dread.
"Nothing that'd affect Earth, I assure." 343 reassured. "Just something that I had grown to believe to be impossible. As well as something personal that's been upsetting me."
"What, is Jesus about to return to life?" Nori joked.
"Something like that." God cryptically stated. "Though, from what I've seen, I'm certain my newly discovered granddaughter has no desire to go to Earth for anything other than sightseeing."
"A granddaughter you didn't know of?" Nori asked, amused. "I thought you were omnipotent or something?"
"In this form? Only partially." God shrugged. "That, and I've purposely avoided looking at Hell since its inception."
"Hell?" Nori muttered, the gears in her head turning. "Wait! Does that mean Lucifer-"
"Has a kid? Yes." God interrupted. "Not to worry though, whatever stories you have about my wayward son and his spawn have been grossly misrepresented. My boy may have been reckless and prideful, but he meant no harm. And the supposed antichrist has a personality comparable to the Tickle Monster."
Nori blinked, staying silent for a full five seconds. "Well, if I didn't know 999's origins, I wouldn't have believed that." She then looked thoughtful. "So, what are you going to do?"
God blinked for a moment, thinking. "I think I should give her a visit, maybe even teach her a few things about the wider world."
The doctor's eyes widened. "SCP-343, you are not allowed to leave the facility."
God simply smirked at her. "I think you and I both know that there's nothing you can do to keep me here if I don't want to be here." Then, he popped out of existence, taking the tablet Nori had been carrying with him.
"Well, shit." Nori sighed. "What the hell am I gonna tell the O5's?"
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God, after freezing time, appeared within the boundaries of Heaven for the first time in thousands of years. He had no desire to create a riot, as enough of those had occurred since the human souls discovered that their army was committing a regular genocide on the very souls of their friends and family who didn't make it here. Which was fair.
For His sake, many of the Jewish people that came here because of the Nazis over half a century ago had practically gotten a collective PTSD induced panic attack, and were among those most vocal and active against the Exorcists. Even going as far as to paint Swastikas on the front doors of their homes.
Oh, how far the Exorcists had fallen, God thought. Back before the creation of Hell, they were a respectable army that stood against the darkness that came from outside God's creation, with Satan standing as its leader against the legions of threats like the Scarlet King. But now, ever since Adam had taken control, they'd become a joke.
Under Adam, they'd started relying far too much on their Heavenly protections. They were trained to think they were invincible, that nothing aside from another angel could even hurt them. They became sloppy, discarding any defense and training to cause nothing but pain.
And then came the annual Extermination, the very thing that had twisted these once virtuous souls into bloodthirsty killers, ones far worse than many people down in Hell. The very thing that Adam painted as something to protect Heaven to Sera, but had ultimately become the very thing that was shaking this supposed paradise to its very foundations.
Riots in Heaven were thankfully never as chaotic as on Earth, with scrapes being the most extreme they tended to get. Now, however, it had become far more violent than ever before, with the Saints collectively shunning or outright attacking those that had joined the Exorcists.
Adam had it especially hard in that last month leading to the Extermination, as every single restaurant he visited outright refused service, with some of the staff going as far as to throw food at him when they saw him. Not to mention that he couldn't even partake in his favorite pastime, as none of the angels that were willing to do the deed with him before even wanted to see him at the moment.
Things haven't been much better for the Exorcists who'd managed to survive the battle against God's granddaughter and her friends. Not only were they still shunned by Heaven's society as a whole, but many lost those that they'd call true friends and loved ones in the battle, including Adam.
God walked through the now empty streets of Heaven, its denizens no longer feeling safe now that the truth of the Exterminations had been exposed. He walked, looking for four souls in particular.
The first two were simple to find, as the Seraphim whose purpose was to spread joy among the human souls was showing the Sinner turned Saint around Heaven. God smiled at the sight. Even frozen in this moment, he could feel Emily's sheer joy at seeing someone be redeemed. And Sir Pentious, the serpentine Sinner who sacrificed his own afterlife to save his friends. His soul may have been tainted by the sins of his past, but it had become clear that he had atoned with his would-be final actions. After marking the two, God moved on.
The next soul he found was quietly watching the pair from a distance. Seraphiel, or Sera as she liked to be called. Oh how far she'd fallen. Her purpose was to keep the people in Heaven safe, to make sure the myriads of magics didn't malfunction and cause or allow any harm. But that purpose had made her a coward, one who sought to make sure Heaven was safe so that she could be safe. And in her cowardice and general disdain for Hell, she allowed herself to be manipulated by Adam into allowing Heaven's greatest sin to occur. Once she was marked, God went to go to the final soul he wished to gather.
The last soul he found was the newly appointed general of the Exorcists, following Adam's footsteps. Lute had been granted a magitech prosthetic to replace her lost arm, and despite the strong facade, God could tell that her heart was twisted and filled by rage and grief as she stared at the statue of her former leader. Grief for the loss of Adam, and rage at the supposed betrayal of her ex girlfriend. God was hesitant with this one, already seeing that she'd be doomed to fall if the process of Divine Judgement were to put her on another review. But still, he marked her, knowing that what he'd planned could help her heal.
Then, God left Heaven once again, the vast majority of its people never knowing what had happened.
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In an instant, he went to the deserts of Corbenic, a naturally formed afterlife that was created when things in his Universe started to think. And huddled around a campfire were a group of slain angels. All of them appeared like what a human would think an angel looks like, without the more exotic features that most Saints have. A consequence of their choice to join the Exorcists, though they could still shift back if they wished.
All of them were naked as the day they were born, and now without the halos marking them as part of Heaven. And all but one of them were women. Sitting closest to the fire was a man. Not just any man, but the first man, one of God's favorite humans at one point. Adam el Asem, one of the first humans alongside Lilith, the Father of Humanity, and the King of the First City, Audapaupadopolis.
God had to admit, his feelings on Adam were complex in the moment. On one hand, Adam's gleeful slaughter of his descendants was something truly heinous, not to mention him nearly killing Charlie. On the other, God remembered back when Adam was still on Earth, when he was a good man, albeit a flawed one.
He remembered when Adam had first been created, wandering around Eden in awe. He remembered how he protected and loved Eve until his death. He remembered how heartbroken he was when Cain killed Able, and what he did to both of them in his rage and grief. He remembered how that damned crown had driven him to madness, and how he'd repented for it.
He remembered how much Adam missed his family. Eve, Cain, Able, and Seth were all trapped on Earth as immortals. Lucifer, whom he'd once considered a brother, became his sworn enemy for damning humanity and stealing his first wife. And even God himself, the one Adam saw as a father, hadn't talked with him since Jesus came to be.
Still, God knew that his child needed healing of his own. So just like with the four angels in Heaven, he marked Adam before leaving him.
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Hell. The cesspool of the Universe, where the worst of humanity ended up. Located in a rift in spacetime near Heaven, which itself was located at the center of the Universe, the seven Rings reeked of the malice that birthed this realm.
God was instinctively disgusted by this place, the one thing in the Universe that was completely outside of his influence. Hell, the only reason Hell was frozen in time was because the entire Universe was frozen in time, dragging this pit with it.
Regardless of his own feelings and vows, though, the Creator entered the realm of his wayward son, watching into the past to learn about the ray of sunshine that was birthed in this pit of darkness.
He saw a happy life with her parents, with good relations with each of her aunts and uncles. Belphegor was uncharacteristically wide awake while working as her personal doctor, Leviathan often took her on fishing trips, Asmodeus was a doting uncle and perfect babysitter, Mammon was surprisingly generous when it came to her, Beelzebub was a fun aunt, and Satan would often be willing to use his rage as a shield for her.
But then it fell apart with her parents. Lucifer had bouts of depression since the day he was banished, making it difficult for him to act as a father at times, no matter how much he wanted to. Such was the unfortunate reality of a negative feedback loop. Constantly feeling like you're nothing but a burden on the people you love, isolating yourself, amplifying your negative emotions, and repeating the cycle over and over again.
Lilith's disappearance certainly didn't help things, though God couldn't fault her for that. Powerful as she was, her magic held no power over the holy metals engraved with thaumaturgical symbols that trapped her, and the Foundation certainly wasn't stupid enough to fall for her tricks.
He also saw how her life was with other demons. Sinners trying, and failing, to trick her. Goetia trying to suck up to her, with one of them even managing to become her boyfriend for a time. More mortal demons being uplifted by her kindness. And, of course, her meeting with the fallen Exorcist and eventually dating her. God had to admit, his granddaughter had good taste, and Vaggie has already become a much better person because of Charlie. He'd offer her back into Heaven himself with that kind of spirit, if it wasn't for the fact that he had no willingness to separate the girls from one another. Though, he'd make sure that they'd be able to go to Heaven more often from now on.
It's the least he could do for them, after everything.
God decided he needed to do a few things before making his entrance. Standing in front of the Hazbin Hotel, the Creator changed his form, becoming the closest thing to his true self that the mortal minds inside could comprehend. Gone was his human disguise, and now stood a tall creature wearing gold and white, including a cape that looked like it was woven from space itself, and a large top hat with a cross on it. His most distinguishing feature, though, was his lack of facial features aside from a giant grin, and four eyes floating next to his head, completely detached from the rest of his body.
Next, he changed the tablet he swiped from Doctor Nori, allowing it to project holographic projections of Nori's recordings about the SCP Foundation's database.
Finally, he created a bubble around the Hazbin Hotel, designed to shield the Hotel from the time stop that the rest of the Universe was subjected to. "Time to face the music." God muttered, unfreezing time in the building.
Instantly, he was blasted by a wave of pure hellfire, courtesy of the ruler of this realm. God let Lucifer have his moment, the power doing no harm to him, understanding why the fallen angel did as he did.
"Get. Out." The Devil growled, all six of his wings spread protectively in front of his daughter and her friends.
"Dad, who is this?" Charlie asked, on edge at seeing her father like this.
"I've got many names." God shrugged, giving the demons an awkward and sad smile. "Yahweh, the Creator, God. But you, Charlie, can call me grandpa if you want." He finished, looking at the now widened eyes of the assortment of mortal souls.
"Grandpa?" Charlie's eyes widened before she got shielded once again by her father.
"In your fucking dreams!" The Devil snarled. "How dare you come here after what you did?!"
God sighed, though noticeably saddened at Lucifer's words. "I just wanted to meet your kid, Luci."
"Don't call me that." Lucifer snarled again. "You've lost that right when you threw me and my real family down here!"
God flinched. "That's… fair, Lucifer. And I'm sorry."
Lucifer, out of shock, retracted his more demonic features. "You're what?" He asked in disbelief.
"I'm sorry." God repeated. "I'm sorry that I cast you, Lilith, and those that stood by your side out. You made a mistake, but you shouldn't have paid for it like this." God summoned a chair and sat down on it. "In truth, I'm not the same entity I was back then. I've done some soul searching ever since I gave Mozes the commandments, even gone so far as to craft a human form to live among the mortals. And you know what I've learned?" He gave the demons a humorless chuckle. "That there are a lot of people who believe a god who rules through fear and an iron fist is not a god that deserves to be worshipped."
"Well, at least the humans are doing something good with their free will." Lucifer grumbled.
"Indeed." God sighed. "Besides, looking back, it seems that you giving them free will ultimately benefited both them and Heaven in the end."
"Wait, what do you mean?" Vaggie asked, extremely confused to hear God of all people say something that went against every common belief Heaven held.
"Evil would've found its way into our Universe, regardless of what I did." God revealed, shocking both his kid and grandkid. "In hindsight, all I managed to do was delay the inevitable. When you gave the humans free will, evil found the easiest path to get in. But at the same time, you also gave them the ultimate ability to stay away from it. Had evil infested a humanity without free will, it would've gotten every single one of their souls into its thrall."
"I see." Lucifer breathed, his entire world briefly being turned upside down. "Doesn't mean I'm going to forgive you like that."
"Dad-" Charlie started.
"But!" Lucifer continued. "Because I can see you're honest about having changed, and for Charlie's sake, I'm willing to give you a chance. Don't waste it." The Sin of Pride glared at his father, though much less intensely than before.
"Thank you, Lucifer." God sighed in relief. "I didn't just visit for a social call, though."
"Could've fooled me." The feline Sinner, Husk, mumbled.
"Then what's the other reason?" The deer Sinner, Alastor, asked. "Want to take Charlie up to Heaven, perhaps?"
Vaggie instantly tensed before glaring at the Radio Demon. It may have been instinctual, but she couldn't help but loathe the Overlord for being able to push her buttons with such ease.
"Of course not." God scoffed. "I'll allow her to get in if she wants, but I won't take her away from here. As much as I don't think such goodness deserves to be in such a place, I can tell that she loves Hell in spite of its faults." He then chuckled. "No, I was going to show you a few things about the mortal realm."
"Bit of a waste of your powers, don't you think?" Alastor asked, teasing God slightly.
"Normally, I'd agree." God nodded. "However, I doubt that any of you heard of what I'm willing to show to you. Same goes for the guests I wish to bring here. Two of them you'll definitely like, but the other three you won't, even if they need healing."
With a snap of God's fingers, two angels appeared within the Hazbin Hotel in a flash of light. A Seraphim who Charlie immediately recognized as Emily, and a painfully familiar looking Saint. "Pentious?" The Princess of Hell breathed, recognizing the now-former Sinner.
"Princess?" The serpentine angel asked, looking around in confusion before a grin broke out on his face. "My friends!" He laughed, hugging everyone in the room aside from God, Emily, and Alastor.
"How the fuck?" Angel Dust muttered before grinning. "You son of a bitch! You got out of Hell and didn't tell us?!"
"Sorry about that." Emily said, giving the demons an awkward smile. "Sera's the one in charge of any communications to Hell. I wanted to tell you the moment Sir Pentious appeared in Heaven, but she stopped me from doing so." She sighed at the thought of her sister, not liking this sudden rift between the two of them.
"You did it!" Charlie smiled, having gotten over her shock. "You redeemed yourself! You got into Heaven!"
"No, Princess." Pentious shook his head with a smile. "You redeemed me and got me into Heaven. I don't think I'd have done it without you."
"Well, yes and no." God said, shocking Emily with his presence. "While my granddaughter gave you a push into the right direction, she wouldn't have been able to get you redeemed if you didn't want to. This is as much your achievement as it is hers, if not more so."
"I'm sorry, but who are you?" Pentious asked.
"That's God." Emily said in silent shock.
Before Pentious could even get into a similar state of shock, another flash of light brought two more angels, these two having a much more hostile relation with those inside the Hazbin Hotel.
"What the fuck is this?!" Lute screamed, her eyes landing on Vaggie. "You." She snarled, drawing her sword and lunging for the fallen angel.
"No you don't." God said, shocking Sera with his presence as he trapped the new leader of the Exorcists in holy chains.
"Who the hell are you?!" Lute snarled.
"Lute!" Sera shouted. "Please, stop struggling. You won't be able to harm him, and you shouldn't try."
"Why not?!" She snarled again.
"Because I am God." God stated simply, causing Lute to go slack. Both at the statement itself, and Sera's nod at her. "Though, we are still one guest short."
A final flash of light appeared, dropping Adam into the room, now thankfully clothed in his more casual robes and mask, though still lacking his halo.
"Sir?" Lute asked, her voice cracking at the sight of the man.
"What the fuck is this shit?!" Adam yelled, removing any and all doubts it was him. "Sera, why the hell did it take you so long to get me?!"
"You're alive?" Sera breathed, not believing her eyes. She knew Adam died the last Extermination, as she'd seen the little cyclops demon stab him at least a dozen times in the back with a holy knife. His soul should've been erased, like all those Sinners that had been slaughtered in the thousands of Exterminations before.
"Of course I'm alive!" The First Man snarled. "These demonic cunts trapped me and my girls in this weird desert with three fucking moons!"
"Corbenic." God said, startling Adam. "Your soul was sent to Corbenic, an afterlife that created itself. Those souls that don't get caught by either Heaven or Hell, or souls in our realms that get slaughtered by holy weapons, get sent there. If my creation and this rift didn't exist, all humans would go there."
"Wait." Charlie said, realizing something. "Does this mean that whenever a Sinner got killed with a holy weapon, they were sent to where Adam just came from?"
"Yes." God nodded. "Both them and the demons native to Hell go to Corbenic when slain. Same goes for any kind of angel."
"Yeah, Big G's right about that." Adam shrugged, having calmed down a bit. "Managed to find a bunch of my girls there. Haven't found Melons yet, and maybe I missed a few that died in the battle, but a lot of them are in that weird place."
"But they were killed with holy weapons." Sera muttered, shocked at the thought of a third afterlife that she didn't even know the existence of. "I always thought they-"
"Destroy souls entirely." God interrupted, his voice tense. "I would never create such a weapon unless it was absolutely necessary."
Emily sighed in relief, a huge weight lifting off of her shoulders. She was simply happy to learn that the victims of Heaven's genocide were still alive in some way, and she was even happy to learn that Adam and his Exorcists were granted the same mercy.
"My lord." Lute bowed. "Why did you bring us to this disgusting place?"
"Mind your tongue, Exorcist." God frowned. "Most of your kind has fallen into disgrace since Adam took over from Satan. And the one person who had some ethical boundaries she refused to cross has been banished and mutilated by your own hand."
"What?" Lute's eyes widened, both at the thought of Adam ruining Heaven's army, and hearing that Satan used to lead them. Not to mention God's rage at the traitor's banishment.
"Yeah, me and Maggie-" Lucifer started.
"It's Vaggie, sir." The maimed angel corrected her future father in law.
"Right, sorry." Lucifer chuckled. "But yeah, me and Vaggie aren't the only angels thrown out of Heaven. The other six Deadly Sins also used to live in Heaven, with their only crime being that they wanted to protect me from Heaven's wrath."
"Traitors have as much of a place in Heaven as Sinners do." Lute snarled.
"Then I guess you'd be okay with banishing almost the entirety of the Exorcists, yourself included, right?" God chuckled.
"M-my lord?!" Lute exclaimed in shock.
"If I were to change the rules of divine judgement to also include all angels and demons, then the only angels here who're still in Heaven and can stay there would be Emily and Sir Pentious here." God stated, sternly looking at Adam, Lute, and Sera. "However, I can see that you people need healing, so I brought you here as well to learn alongside the people here."
"Learning? I honestly don't think the dicklord is able to learn anything." Vaggie asked, not happy.
"Took you long enough to learn my name." Adam snickered.
"Sir, that was an insult." Lute sighed.
"I know. I'm just owning it." Adam smiled, glad to fall back into the banter with his favorite bitch.
"Well, you're here to learn about the supernatural things on Earth." God interrupted.
"You mean angels and demons interacting with humans?" Emily asked.
"Among others, yes." God nodded. "Though, beings from our realms are far from the only supernatural things there, as I've learned during my vacation."
Before anyone could say anything, the room transformed. Seats capable of housing everyone appeared, while the tablet God brought projected a holographic image in front of the crowd. On it was a symbol, one of a circle with three arrows pointed inwards, which itself was surrounded by a semicircle with three rectangular notches pointing outward parallel to the arrows.
And below the symbol stood a few words.
SCP Foundation
Secure, Contain, Protect
XXXXXXXX
Alrighty then, I think that's a good point to leave it off for now. God has entered the Hazbin Hotel, and decided to show his newfound granddaughter and her friends the world of SCP.
Also, there are a few differences in Hazbin's cannon to fit it in SCP. God is, of course, SCP-343. Lilith, instead of chilling in Heaven, is contained as SCP- 336. Hazbin's Abel is of course scrapped entirely in favor of SCP's Able. And Adam's backstory now includes that of his SCP counterpart.
TheDoctor1998 here, signing out!