Oh man, this is reminding me of all time I spent thinking up Warhammer/MLP fanfiction ideas years ago. I wonder if I'll ever get around to writing any of them, a couple of them weren't bad, like that one where Lyra Heartstrings would be the leader of an Imperial Cult based off of partially intact writings from a crashed Imperial ship, or the one where Equestria is invaded (by something, I don't know what. Maybe Tyranids? Tau? Chaos? Squats?) and has to use an ancient artifact to call for help and winds up contracting a band of Ork Freebooterz.

...This is, however, quite a tangent.

Please go on.

This is a crackfic thread after all.
So long as Zahariel and the mods approve, you're good

Alright, so, after the initial culture shock, I think that ork freebooterz and ponies would actually find they have a lot in common. Both value the power of friendship, which is literally magic for them... both have innate talents which magically grants them skills and abilities, and to a large degree determine their destiny... both both give supreme power to the largest and toughest among them, who also tend to be the ones who've lived the longest... Both have very eclectic and inconsistent levels of technology... There's comparisons to be made of the fact that many freebooterz are outcasts from the various different Klans that the rest of ork kultur is divided into, and Equestria was built by ponies from all the different tribes coming together in a new land...

That's all the obvious similarities that are coming to the top of my head, but I'm sure there's more. Maybe the orks would ride the ponies into battle against the vague menace, or maybe we'd pull a reversal and have the orks give the ponies piggyback rides. The ponies would proselytize the ways of harmony, and the orks would preach back the ways of the WAAAGH! Squigs would become a delicacy eaten by the great and the good up in Canterlot. Fluttershy would learn the arts of the Squiggoth tamers. Nerds everywhere are infuriated by Ork "technology" (Twilight narrowly avoids this fate, due to her earlier experiences with Pinkie Pie, and is insufferably smug about it to the rest of the scientific community).

As for the other one... Lyra Heartstrings, musician and cryptozoologist, stumbles upon an ancient crash site of an ecclesiarchy shuttle, its partially intact computers bearing files full of information about the GOD EMPEROR OF MANKIND and the DIVINITY OF THE PURE HUMAN by the tales of the incredible feats of this race, she creates her own underground cult based on what she could recover of the teachings of these holy works, and together they strive to advance the pony race morally, societally, and technologically, so that they might be ready to seek out these holy creatures and serve them in their ancient war against the unclean. Twilight's also there, but only for the weekly bookclub.

Thanks for the recommendation, but unfortunately I've already read it. Still, if someone in this thread have not read it yet, I hope they give it a try and enjoy it.

People have asked for this. I have delivered. This is a crossover with the Age of Iron series of fanfics, though no understanding of the plot of the fics are needed to understand this Omake.

Inquisitorial Report - Ponies (Protectorate USA Assorted Units)

Name: Ponies (also; Equus ferus sapiens, Unicorns/Pegasi/Alicorns)

Formation Type: Infantry (Usually)

Numbers: Unknown

Introduction: The Ponies are a species of blasphemously adorable-looking xenos that serve a wide variety of roles among the heretical forces of the Cainite Protectorate. They are so named because of their bizarre, as-of-yet unexplained resemblance to Terran Miniature horses.

Initially encountered by Imperial forces during [REDACTED], they are believed to originate from Centaur III, and were previously encountered amongst the ranks of the Iron Warriors 38th Company prior to the little-known Chaos Warband being assimilated into the USA (see; Centaur III report). Wildly varying numbers of these creatures nave been seen amongst Protectorate forces on numerous battlefields, ranging from singular individuals to entire detachments of the creatures.

This xeno race appears to be split into four subraces: one with wings (Pegasi), one with a horn (Unicorns), one with neither (Earth Ponies), and one with both (Alicorns). Earth Ponies are arguably the least dangerous, though only due to relative simplicity compared to other units; they are possessed of immense strength that well outstrips their body size, and a singular Earth Pony has on occasion downed an incautious Astartes with a single strike of their hoof. Next up on the threat level are Pegasi, who lack the strength of their ground-bound kin but compensate by wings that grant them flight, allowing them to fly in-atmosphere with speed and agility on par with, and sometimes superior to, an Imperial jetbike. Above them are unicorns, which lack both enhanced strength and flight but possess powerful psychic capacity, on top of near-total immunity to the usual perils of the Warp associated with such abilities. And then there are alicorns, exceedingly rare combatants that combine the talents of all three aforementioned subraces to often-lethal effect.

Combat Doctrine: As stated above, Ponies serve a truly surprising variety of roles among the USA, though they often take to the field as standard infantry. The roles they can serve on the field are as varied as human troops, if not more so, but they tend to lean more towards melee combat, as their quadruped bodies make human-made ranged weaponry somewhat awkward to use, despite the BORG Hereteks' attempts to rectify this with their unique brand of techno-heresy (see Wargear below).

Despite this leaning toward close-quarters-combat, pony forces tend to fight more defensively than other USA units, taking maximum possible advantage of defensive positions and doing their level best to minimize losses and casualties. Some among the Ordos might be inclined to attribute this to cowardice, but do not be fooled; they can be as aggressive and lethal as any other Protectorate soldier if the situation calls for it.

It is also worth noting that pony forces will occasionally try to negotiate with Imperial Forces, attempting to impress the value of "friendship" and "compromise" upon our loyal soldiers and sway them to the Protectorate's side, in a textbook example of the Threat of Discord in action. These attempts always end in failure, and anyone who tries to claim otherwise is a traitorous heretic attempting to spread blasphemous misinformation. Such traitors are to be detained and executed at the earliest opportunity.

Wargear: Most Pony units arrive on the field of battle with wargear similar to rank and file USA soldiers, outfitted with power armor fitted to accommodate their quadruped bodies and outfitted with servo-harnesses that let them pick up and use human weaponry. Their wargear, however, tends to vary more than that of USA troops, and is often customized by the owner. The wargear they carry is also supplemented by their formidable natural abilities. Certain Elite pony units have also been outfitted with warp-touched artifacts presumably of their own design. This makes them far more unpredictable on the field than most USA troops, and harder to counter as a result.

Addendum 1: Pony forces have repeatedly been witnessed referencing "Harmony". This is believed to be some kind of cosmic force worshipped by the creatures as a diety. The nature and status of this force are unknown at the moment.

Addendum 2: On occasion, Ponies have been seen performing impromptu mass musical numbers, sometimes in the middle of battle and without impairing their effectiveness on the field, all while appearing to be perfectly choreographed beforehand despite the fact that such a thing is straight-up impossible. How this can be is unknown for now.

Addendum 3: As of this writing, we have yet to successfully kill even one of these creatures. While it is far from impossible to incapacitate them and their biology even makes death a very real possibility on paper (unlike necrons), in practice no servant of the Emperor has managed to inflict a mortal wound on a pony, and the few we've managed to capture have, without exception, been rescued long before we were able to execute or vivisect any of them. An Inquisitor once described this effect as if "we're in a badly-written anti-imperial propaganda piece and those things have Titan-grade plot armor". This is a surprisingly apt description of this effect's mechanics; how such a thing is possible is, again, unknown.