Lucy ran.

For a while, she didn't even realize she was running. Not until a dented part of the walkway caught her foot. She stumbled, heart racing at the near collision with the ground. She slowed down to catch her breath, which she noticed came out in uneven gasps, Lucy eventually stopped entirely. Where was she going? What was she doing?

Running away from her problems it seemed. Again.

She stared out into the crowd. Where she'd stopped was close to the center of the shopping district. People chatted and bartered with shopkeepers, while others hustled wares or struck up merchant deals. Then there were all the families with children out to buy supplies they needed. It was a normal site for this part of the city, although, with the darkening clouds overhead, there was a sense of anxiety over the coming weather that seemed to drive people to finish up faster. No one liked getting caught in the rain.

The thought of people shopping brought to mind Minerva, reminding Lucy of part of the reason for her escape. That's right. She'd wanted to talk further with Minerva.

She took a couple of steps out of the side street, into the main thoroughfare, then hesitated. Minerva could be anywhere in the crowd, after all the time she'd wasted arguing. Maybe she wasn't even still in the shopping district but had moved on to a different part of town. A wave of thoughts crashed down on top of her, and it quickly overwhelmed her.

Then someone almost crashed into her, swearing as he swerved and took off down the road. Right. She was standing in the middle of a busy street. Best to get out of the way. Trying to still the thoughts inside her, she moved automatically to the nearest seat, which happened to be a bench outside a pharmacy. An overhead cover gave her shade, although the sunless sky just made her feel cold. It fit, seeing as that's how she felt on the inside.

Try as she might, thoughts of Minerva inevitably shifted towards thoughts of what happened just before. Once the words were out of his mouth, her memories–triggered more intensely by being in an emotional state–flooded forth. She knew by the way his ears twitched slightly and his eye became a little unfocused that he was hearing something on the inside. In that moment, she'd tried to think about anything else, but in doing so made it all the harder not to think about the one thing she didn't want him to hear. When it was all over, and he came out of his listening, his expression…she wanted to rip out the knowledge from his mind. Shred it and start all over again. So she snapped at him and watched his bafflement grow to rage.

It had only gone downhill from there.

Lucy sighed. The anger from before was still there, the fury now only a shadow of itself. Instead, the most prominent emotion was one of shame. Shame from the secret itself and shame from the exposure of it all. A part of her felt intensely betrayed. One of her secret fears when they teamed up for the Love-Doctor booth was that he would listen in one day when she wasn't paying attention and she'd be none the wiser. She'd toyed with the idea that if she just knew that it would be easier to bear…but in practice that idea crumpled in on itself. At least she wasn't in the dark, sure, but now all she could think about was that she knew that he knew. Her tight lid was undone, and putting on a new one wouldn't make the previous peek inside reverse. He'd looked inside and seen some of her failures, weaknesses…the person she thought she'd left behind once she came to the guild. It made her want to run away again, to a new place where no one knew her name or cared to know.

And perhaps there had been other things he'd listened to without her knowledge…

She shook her head. It was hard enough to process this one violation, let alone speculate on past ones.

Another part, one that she didn't like considering, yet wouldn't be put out entirely, argued that she had been unfair too. Had she really thought that he was helping her just to get a peek into her mind? Not especially. It still baffled her that he'd stayed on the job for this long, but she also hadn't thought it was just to hear her secrets. Cobra could have done that immediately and then left. Instead, he stayed with her for far longer than anticipated, even… doing the job? When he agreed to her silly pact it was with a form of reluctant relief that genuinely surprised her. His natural curiosity appeared overwritten by a strangely honest desire to not investigate.

Until today, apparently.

Lucy put a hand to her head and closed her eyes. The day felt like it should be over already, even though it was only mid-morning. A nap sounded nice. A long, long nap.

But naps only reminded her of more permanent forms of rest, and her eyes wearily opened once again. No, she wouldn't do that. She wouldn't even think about that. She knew what kinds of things that could lead to.

She needed a goal, an objective. Otherwise, she would flounder in her thoughts. Lucy reached into her satchel to pull out her notebook, wondering if there was something in a previous session she'd missed…before realizing that it was lost to Cobra. Snatched away right before Minerva showed up and never given back. Her posture sagged even more. Dare she go back and try and find him? Demand that he give it back?

Thinking about retrieving it made her ponder that last expression on his face. He'd grabbed her wrist, and a certain terror had briefly taken hold. Of other times she'd been held captive and dragged along by others. He hadn't tried to move her, but instead held her in place. There was a desperation in his face that she'd never seen before, but in that moment, the only thing she was thinking about was how much she wanted him to let her go. Mentally, she'd blasted that thought in her mind as she glared at him, realizing that now she expected him to be listening.

Unexpectedly, instead of recoiling like he'd heard a Fire Dragon's Roar (like she hoped) he froze, eyes glazing over. His grip on her wrist went slack, and he just stood there, staring in her direction, yet not truly seeing her. She'd never seen him in such a state before. It was like he was stopped in time, looking into a place that didn't exist. Truthfully, the moment was so unnerving that she almost forgot her original intention and called out to him. Almost tried to pull him back to reality. Instead, she'd eased her arm out of his hand, backing away slowly. His expression remained.

That was when she ran.

Lucy could feel pinpricks of tears gather in the edges of her eyes. No. No more crying today. She wiped them away and blinked fast to banish more. She wouldn't cry over him. She couldn't imagine that she'd see him again while Crime Sorciere was around. If he felt anything like she did, he wouldn't want to be anywhere near her now.

Maybe, in time, she would see him again, and they could write it off as their anger getting the better of them. He'd have moved on, at that point, probably have forgotten about what he heard. It would be for the best, even though it hurt.

No, she didn't cry, but she could still hurt.

She got to her feet, observing the clouds again. They'd grown even darker, although no rain yet. There was still time to do something. Her thoughts drifted back to Minerva, but the moment they did, the darkness inside came rumbling through. As much as it pained her, she didn't think it would be a good idea to see Minerva right now. If she could even find her anyway.

However, if she hurried, she could go home, get some of the other notebooks she had, and interview some of the other people involved in the Love-Doctor booth. They might provide more clues as to what exactly was going on.

Because, despite it all, she still wanted to help.

…helps distract you from yourself…

Lucy took a deep breath. Maybe that was true. But the least she could do was try. She wouldn't leave them alone. She could at least do that much.

Never mind if it was a distraction. Never mind if it all amounted to nothing.

Never mind those facts at all.