a/n: Wrapping this up next week. Thanks for all who read and followed. Many, many thanks to poka for reviewing. This is a bit different take on Dumbles for me, but I wanted to explore a more gray storyline for him. Glad that last chapter hit.

Prompt 46: I don't want you to go.
Prompt 37: Did you ever imagine it would end this way?
Prompt 41: Sorry, but that's not for sale.

Chapter 13

Harry woke up feeling stiff and feeling a stabbing pain in his shoulder. He felt like he took both bludgers to his back and chest at the same time. It had been ages since he exerted himself to such an extent. If he was feeling this bad, he worried Hermione was feeling even worse. That thought had him moving faster than his body seemed to appreciate. Letting out a small groan, he shuffled to his medicine cabinet and took out the pain relieving draught Poppy had given him during his check up the day before. Taking the dose, he leaned over the sink to get a good look at the bruising circling his shoulder in the mirror. He probably should have left the sling on.

Splashing water on his face, he was glad he made himself take a shower before he went to bed. He didn't want to waste time in case Hermione was already awake. He was glad she agreed to stay in the school guest quarters. Ron, Susan, Hermione, and himself had stayed up late reliving their school days around the fire. When they realized the time, getting a room in Hogsmeade felt like a hassle. Pulling on a jumper, he exchanged his flannel pants for khakis. It didn't matter much what he was wearing that day, they'd be hidden under his formal robes. It was bound to be another long day in the treaty zone, he wanted to be comfortable.

Grabbing another bottle of potion, he stepped out into his living area. Harry rang a small bell near the door. A house elf apparated immediately. "Good morning, Hedy. Can I get a breakfast tray for two? I'm going to check on our guest?"

"Of course, Master Harry," the elf said. In a blink she was gone and a fully dressed tray appeared on the counter.

He should have given more instructions. It wasn't going to be easy to carry but he didn't want to have it delivered to her room until he knew she was ready for a visitor. Using his wand, he decided to levitate it instead of trying to balance through the corridor. He jammed his feet into his shoes, summoned his robes, and headed toward the nearby guest rooms. The tray followed behind him.

It was strange having Hermione so close. He was having a hard time believing she'd only been back in his life again for a few days. It felt longer, and not just because of everything that had happened during that time. It was so natural to have her at his side. But so far, her return had been everything she'd been trying to avoid when she left England. Her personal life on the front page of the newspaper. Her life defined by her connection to the golden trio despite her individual successes. Somewhere within him, Harry worried she'd regret returning. And then she'd leave him again. Pushing the thoughts from his mind, he knocked on her door softly. He didn't have to wait long.

The door opened revealing a slightly haggard Hermione. She was dressed but didn't look like she was quite ready to face the day. "Good morning," she said, nearly a whisper and then cleared her throat. The action elicited a wince.

As Harry feared, she was hurting. Handing her the phial of blue potion, she offered a sympathetic smile. "I was feeling my age this morning."

Hermione took the bottle and moved aside to give him room to enter. He walked forward, the breakfast tray right behind him. "Thank you," she said, leading him to a table in a sitting area. "I was feeling Flamel's age this morning."

Pouring her some tea, he knew they had time to stop by the matron's office. He'd wait to recommend the visit until after they let the potion work and get some food in her. He waited for her to take a seat before sitting himself and grabbing a piece of toast. He had a question he'd been wanting to ask her but didn't want to ruin the light hearted reminiscing and get into it with Ron and Susan. "We should probably talk about you jumping in front me at your flat."

Her eyebrow went up. But she didn't speak right away. She took the potion and chased it with her tea before picking up a pastry. "Those quills would have killed you."

"You didn't know they wouldn't kill you."

"The risk was low."

"Do you want to tell me about the memories you were made to relive?"

"Hm," she started, her eyes filled with tears, evidence that the effects were still fresh. "Mostly what you would expect. Losing my parents. Bellatrix. Thinking I lost you… It all feels like it just happened."

Harry reached out and put his hand on hers. There was trauma in his past that nearly destroyed him when they happened. Having to relive all of them at the same time, it was hard to comprehend. He was sorry she'd been forced to relive her nightmares. For him. "I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," she waved his apology off.

"It kinda is. Would you have been assigned to this operation if it didn't involve me? You said it yourself you just got here. They pulled you out of training. You could have died to save me. And now your life is upended. Rita and Romilda are writing about us again… It feels like all the reasons you left are still here. And… I don't want you to go. I don't want you to go away again." Harry heard his words and knew they were incredibly selfish. He was making her pain about him.

"Harry. I'm not the same person who left. I… needed to find myself. I know that sounds cliché, but it's the truth. After the war, I didn't know what I wanted to do. I never had the same clarity you and Ron did in school. I assumed I'd just figure it out when I took my N.E.W.T.s. And then I thought I'd figure it out if we survived. And then we did. No one needed me here like people needed you and Ron. Teddy needed you. George needed Ron. I felt free to just go. And then I felt free to go wherever I wanted."

"I needed you," he said so quietly, he convinced himself he hadn't uttered the words aloud. Until he saw the pain in his friend's face.

"Harry. I didn't… I thought…" Hermione took a breath, worked to process Harry's confession. "I thought you had Ginny."

It wasn't the same. It was never going to be the same. It hadn't been fair to Ginny. Harry didn't think it was fair to tell Hermione how he felt while she was off enjoying her freedom. He figured he tell her when she came back to England. And then she didn't. "I cared for Ginny and she helped me a lot. I needed you. I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty. It's my fault for not telling you. I just don't want you to leave again thinking I don't need you. Because I still do." Harry watched her struggle. It felt like conformation that she was already thinking about transferring away.

"You left me," she finally said.

Harry shook his head at the accusation.

"No. Harry, you did. You went off into the forest to let Voldemort kill you without telling me. I couldn't find you and I knew you'd left the castle. And then I saw Hagrid carrying you. I was so angry at you. Of course I was heartbroken, but my first reaction was anger. I remember it now. Because of the poison. You didn't trust me enough to tell me what you needed to do and didn't let me say goodbye. I needed time to get over that."

These were conversations they should have had fifteen years ago. Instead they let the wounds fester. He rubbed his face. Fifteen years later and all the things he thought were behind him had just been chasing him. "I knew if I found you and told you what I needed to do, that you wouldn't let me go alone. And… and the only thing that kept me going was knowing that with Voldemort dead, you'd be free to live. I couldn't bear the thought that you'd die with me in the forest."

Hermione sat back, her body releasing all the tension that had been building. "I would have followed you. And I could have ruined the entire series of events that made it possible to finally kill Voldemort." It was clear from her tone that it was the first time she had arrived at this particular revelation.

"I'm sorry I left you," was the only thing he could think to say. He was sorry that she'd carried that with her for so long.

"I'm sorry I left you," she told him. They had a lot of healing to do. Harry hoped they could do it together.

~~/~~

Hermione was having difficulty concentrating on the discussions. It was why she was such a firm believer in avoiding conflicts of interest. Harry Potter was as big a conflict of interest as they came for her. That would have been true even if their conversation from that morning hadn't left her head spinning. Sitting across the table from him, knowing she needed to be impartial when there was so much at stake left her doubting her abilities. The ICW had set up a neutral area within the treaty zone that had complete control of the primary magical pool that seemed to be giving the inhabitants a fountain of youth and extended beyond the forest to imbue Hogwarts with a source of magic. After several hours of questioning Cirdan and Benge, the ICW negotiator was starting to scratch the surface of the nature of the magic the elves had been protecting for centuries. Harry for his part was representing the interest of the school with an assertiveness that surprised Hermione. He wasn't planning to give an inch to the elves out of goodwill.

"As long as the source of the magic flowing to the school originates here, I need assurances that the flow can't be blocked," Harry said after Cirdan's insistence that the elves would age rapidly if their access to the magic was lost.

It was clear to everyone that Cirdan wanted the world to just go back as it was before the secret was discovered. Hermione was torn. If Hogwarts wasn't a factor, she'd be advocating for an end to anyone's monopoly on the magic. Surprisingly, the most neutral party at the table was Dumbledore. He was taking a more pragmatic approach. Insisting they understand the source of the magic and its limits as a resource before any agreement was drafted. It was clear the ICW negotiator was most in favor of this position. She could see how it was going to play out. Dumbledore would be named a steward of the magic for the ICW. Specialists would take years to test and study the magic. The elves and the school would be allowed temporary reinstatement of their historical access unless and until it was determined that doing so endangered the magic. None of the issues the parties wanted resolved would be formalized any time soon. A successful negotiation. One where all parties were equally unhappy but unharmed.

Movement outside the ICW structure got her attention. She saw the familiar red hair. Clearing her throat, she got her colleague's attention, "Mister Dempsey, this might be a good time to take a break." There was a personal matter to attend to. Everyone stood and stretched. "Headmaster," she continued and saw both Harry and Dumbledore turn toward her. It hadn't been her intention to cause the confusion but it got the result she needed. She stepped outside into the brilliant vista of the treaty zone. It was an impressive display of preservation. The discussions hadn't even touched the potential access to the extinct species that surrounded her. Magic lost to time that could be restored. She rubbed her chest. Not all of it good. Her security detail joined her once she was outside the protections of the deliberations hall. Hermione didn't think they were necessary any longer but her boss had other opinions. Until Benge was made to answer for his violence and was determined to no longer be a threat to her, they'd stay.

"Thanks for escorting Mister Weasley, " she said, looked back toward Harry and Dumbledore. "We're going to use the ICW conference tent. Make sure we're not interrupted?"

Hermione knew it was a risk stepping away to meet with Harry in private. Her relationship with him was why she wasn't in charge of the proceedings though. The elves weren't particularly concerned about the tangled interests. Not as long as theirs were being heard. Leading the three men toward the small structure, she waited for them to find a place in a sitting area. Harry and Ron knew the reason they had gathered and it was clear Dumbledore had worked it out. She made eye contact with Harry. She wasn't sure if he needed to lead their efforts or if he needed someone else to manage it.

He picked up on her unspoken question. "You gave me a task. Us really. To destroy Voldemort's horcruxes," he started, looking directly at his former headmaster.

"I did," Dumbledore agreed.

"I don't think it had to be us. Not on our own. There was only one horcrux that needed me. On my own," Harry said, glanced at Hermione.

She stretched her neck. Logically she did understand why he needed to go into the forest alone. At least in hindsight. She hadn't know how much that wound had festered until she'd been forced to relive terrible memories. Her realization that he'd gone to sacrifice himself. Seeing his lifeless body in Hagrid's arms. She pushed the emotions back. It wasn't the time. But she understood now that there needed to be a time to process the pain. With Harry.

"I think you asked the three of us to find those horcruxes because you didn't want anyone else to find out what you'd done," Harry pressed on.

Albus shook his head. "I can see why you'd think that. Everything I said when you died, my suspicions and assumptions, I still believe them. Though I will concede there were others in the Order who should have been told. Not just in case you failed, but to make your task less… lonely."

"I wasn't alone. It didn't have to be as hard as you made it," Harry clarified.

Hermione wondered if Harry had really processed Dumbledore's confession. The conversation with Dumbledore in limbo had really happened. It was a topic they'd discussed several times with no real satisfactory answer. What they didn't know was that Dumbledore's soul was bound to the earth and in the forest. Likely watching the war play out and in a unique position to commune with people straddling the edge of life and death.

Harry pulled out the snitch, held it out to Dumbledore. "We're not going to destroy these for you."

Both Ron and Hermione followed suit and retrieved their horcruxes. They had been useful. Hermione would be forever grateful for the deluminator. They would have never known about the wand if it hadn't been for the book. And the stone. Hermione took in a small breath. She suddenly understood another mystery. Why Dumbledore didn't want Harry to have the stone until just before he died. They would have used it to summon him to get answers, but the stone wouldn't have been able to bring someone back who wasn't all the way dead. Her eyes met Dumbledore's. She wondered if they'd ever know all his secrets.

Dumbledore looked away from Hermione, perhaps sensing her epiphany. He picked up the golden ball. "I'd be lying if I said I was glad they were whole. Once Voldemort was defeated, there was no reason for me to delay death."

Harry's hand fell to his side. "Doing a terrible thing for the right reason doesn't make you a martyr."

"What does it make me?" Dumbledore asked. It wasn't a challenge. He seemed to be honestly searching for the answer.

"Alone," Harry answered and walked through the exit.

Hermione watched him go. She didn't blame him for not wanting to continue the conversation.

Ron handed the older wizard the deluminator. "That saved my life, Hermione's life, and Harry's. I can't say I'm happy you gave me a horcrux, but I'm grateful for the device."

"Hm. I plan to remove the horcrux without destroying the vessel. I'd like you to have it back when I've accomplished that," Dumbledore offered.

Ron nodded and left to find Harry.

"The act required to mend your soul could kill you," Hermione said quietly.

He took the book from her and secured the three horcruxes in his robes. "A risk worth taking. Don't you think?"

"You were in the forest when Voldemort tried to kill Harry."

"I was. I'd been in the fairy mound until the attack on the castle started to affect the magical pool. I knew it was time. To either reveal myself and intervene or retreat and accept what was left of my life."

"Did you ever imagine it would end this way?" she asked.

"Hardly," he admitted.

She took a step back, wanting to check on Harry and Ron. "You should talk to your brother before you do anything with the horcruxes. He can help you. If you talk about your sister. It might make it easier when you…" she trailed off. There were no right words in the world for the magic the wizard had wielded.

"I'll do that," he agreed. "Thank you, Miss Granger."

All the unasked questions she had didn't seem important. Dumbledore's secrets went with him to the grave once. She didn't think it would change her life or Harry's if they were answered now. She stepped out in the purple field and felt only pity for the man who destroyed his soul because he didn't know how to trust those loyal to him.

~~/~~

Ron ran his hand over the purple grass and watched a small furry elephant blow bubbles from it's trunk. "We need to get Hagrid in here," he said to Harry.

His friend was quiet. Ron didn't blame him. Nothing about the situation was fair. He was a few weeks into his first year as headmaster only to be made to face the headmaster who died taking information critical for their success against Voldemort to the grave. And now an international treaty negotiation that might irreparably change Hogwarts.

"I'll see if I can get a clause in the final document," Harry agreed. "We haven't even started to discuss the extinct creatures here and if the elves would allow conservationists to study the ecosystem. I don't even know if the elves know what they have preserved here. They've been so wrapped up in their selfish needs."

Having been on the outside of the conflict, Ron couldn't argue with Harry's assessment. He wasn't sure if the hidden area, teaming with life, could have flourished for so long without the elves intervention. At the very least, they hadn't exploited the magical creatures as far as Ron could tell.

"Headmaster," the ICW ambassador approached from the main shelter. "We're going to break for the day."

Harry's eyes narrowed. "Already? We've barely started."

The older wizard shrugged. "Nature of the business. We hurry up and wait a lot. The elves need time to consider the current proposal."

Hermione joined them, "We're done today, Jonah?" she asked, not sounding surprised.

"I think Cirdan is looking for an angle," the wizard elaborated. "I didn't think anyone would begrudge some free time after everything that's happened."

"I'm surprised he hasn't already tried to barter his way into a better position. "I don't suppose some galleons could get us a finalized contract any quicker?" Harry asked, clearly not serious.

"Sorry, but that's not for sale," the wizard answered. "This is going to take time. I know you have a school to oversee. We can alternate locations for future meetings if you need to be closer to Hogwarts."

"This is my priority right now. I appreciate the ICW's assistance," Harry said and shook the wizard's hand.

When the three of them were alone, he looked questioning at his friends. "Hogsmeade?"

Hermione looked behind her at her security detail. "I'd like that. Let me see if I can convince them that grabbing some butterbeers isn't a life threatening event."

When she was out of earshot, Ron leaned closer to Harry. "She's changed a bit."

Finally, Harry smiled. "A bit. I think she found herself."

"Are you going to tell me why you were at her place so late on a school night?" he asked, teasing, but genuinely interested if his best friends were finally admitting to themselves what those who knew them best already knew.

"It wasn't like that. We'd been catching up and had too much to drink. We took the floo to her place to get some sober up. I didn't want to get back to the school stumbling around," Harry explained.

"Harry, you're really that thick? You're mad if you don't go for it," Ron told him.

Harry's eyes went wide. "I… it's not like we've had loads of time to think about a relationship," he made excuses and then nodded his head. "We have a lot to work out, but we know we care about each other. More than friends. I just… I don't want to go too fast and ruin this."

Ron let out a small laugh. "Too fast? You've been avoiding these feelings for fifteen years. At least. You're in no danger of going too fast."

The conversation ended as Hermione turned back toward them. "I can ditch them if we go to the castle," she said apologetically. "I don't want to assume that's appropriate."

"There's a port key in the grove to my courtyard. The guest room is yours as long as you need it. The governors are glad the ICW is leading this situation instead of the ministry," Harry answered.

Ron was about to tell them he'd head home and give them some privacy when Hermione hooked her arms around both his and Harry's, leading them toward the exit. "I'm starving and could use a drink."

He'd stay for dinner and then excuse himself when he could. He wasn't going to be the reason the pair went one more night dancing around the relationship.

~~/~~

"...and then George turned the entire kitchen into a blizzard. Mum was so mad. Her Christmas dinner was ruined," Ron slurred as he recounted the story for Hermione who had missed it.

Harry remembered the previous December. The kids were thrilled to have all the excess snow. No one was happy about having to order delivery food after enjoying the amazing smells from The Burrow's kitchen all morning. "We moved most of the snow to the garden," Harry continued, took a drink of his whiskey. The warmth of the alcohol felt good. He could feel his tension leaving him as they sat in his living area in his quarters. The fire cast a soft light on his friends. It felt like old times in the common room. "We did save the pies that were warming in the oven. The turkey was soaked. There was no saving it."

Hermione laughed. The sound made Harry's stomach do a little flip.

"There's no chance we'll have Christmas crackers again," Ron said with a sigh. Downing the rest of his butterbeer, he smiled. "It's good you're back." His eyes slide from Hermione to Harry.

Very subtle, Harry thought. He'd been certain his days of being set up on dates were behind him. Apparently Ron didn't agree.

"I'm glad to be back. I'm not sure what took me so long," she admitted, apparently missing Ron's heavy handed hinting. Her cheeks had taken on a slight red tone. She looked relaxed and maybe a little inebriated. "I missed you. Both of you. And I've really missed not being here for the kids. I missed a lot of milestones."

Ron waved her words away. "They know you care about them. You've never missed a birthday."

Harry nodded. She always made a point to get Teddy something he'd appreciate. She'd put considerable effort into being engaged from a distance. It would be nice to have her at the holiday gatherings. No matter how their relationship might or might not evolve. "Do you want another butterbeer?" he asked Ron.

The redhead shook his head. "Nah. I should get home. I told Susan I wouldn't be too late." He stood, swayed in his spot.

"Use my floo," Harry said and pointed his wand at the hearth to remove the floo network block.

Ron saluted. "You two come for dinner this weekend," he said, grabbed a hand of floo powder and was gone before either could respond.

Hermione stared at the fire as the flames dissipated and then looked at Harry. "That was weird. Do we do something wrong?"

Harry shook his head. The motion made the room spin. Maybe he should have stuck to butterbeer. "He's trying to play matchmaker," he explained. As awkward as the confession was, she deserved to know.

She mouthed the word matchmaker, thinking about the meaning. "Oh. Well. Does he know we already kissed?"

Leaning his head back, Harry tried to remember if he mentioned that part. "I don't think so. He's just under the impression my feelings for you are the reason I've never had a serious relationship. Not since Ginny."

"Is he right?"

Her question was so quiet, he wasn't sure she actually said it. Was it in his head? Lifting his head, he opened his eyes and saw her studying him. "Yeah."

She stood, wobbled a little and sat down on the couch next to him.

He turned to face her. "You're drunk," he said with a laugh.

"I'm not drunk, I swear," she told him. "Tipsy," she finally admitted, poking her nose with her finger. "My nose isn't numb yet."

Harry laughed. "That's how you know if you're drunk?"

She slapped his knee, tried to look serious. "This isn't a drunken confession," she continued. "When I left England, I was running away from a lot of things. One of those were my feelings for you. I was terrified how much pain I felt when I thought you died. And then I was afraid I'd ruin our friendship if I told you. That I'd hurt Ginny. I needed space. But…"

Harry wished they both hadn't been so afraid to admit their feelings. It was hard not to think they wasted so much time. "But…" he encouraged her, took her hands.

"I never stopped loving you."

Only in his dreams had he ever heard her say those words to him. Suddenly the time between them didn't matter. They had their future together. He was certain it was together. It was all he ever wanted. Harry pulled her toward him and kissed her like he intended to make up for every missed kiss. The only thing that existed was her touch, her smell, her warmth. It was how it was supposed to be.