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"Enid's gone..."

It takes a while to clean up the chunks of puke splattered across the bathroom floor and toilet seat. I climb into a shower after, taking care not to get my bandages wet, finding clean clothes left by Carl on the sink when I get out.

Enid feels like just another painful blow in a long line of painful blows today.

Carl and I are sitting on the porch roof under my bedroom window. He wasn't sure about the idea when I suggested it, holding the back of my t-shirt in a vice-like grip when I staggered out onto the roof. But now that we're sat down, he seems to find a certain peace up here.

"Gone?" I ask.

"She left when the attack finished... she's out there alone," Carl explains, his legs swinging as he sits beside me, legs hanging off the edge. I keep my legs folded, the edge making me feel dizzier than I'm willing to admit.

"You want to go after her," I realise it evidently. Carl has a calm contemplation on his face when he nods to me.

I nod too, "We should..."

"You can't come," he says quickly.

"I'm fine," I tell him.

"You're still healing."

"It's too dangerous on your own," I hiss.

Carl looks away, out over Alexandria. The afternoon sun glows off tiled rooftops.

His hands are flat on the roof, resting behind him as he props himself up on them. I put my own hand over one of his.

Carl glances back at me, at our hands. "You don't have to... are you sure?"

That pang of guilt returns. It's been a long time since I've flinched from him like I did in the bathroom.

"It wasn't you," I tell him. "It wasn't. It was just everything else."

"Everything else?"

I take a long and sobering breath before saying, "I don't like the way people look at me right now."

Carl everts his eyes at that.

"Not you, idiota," I chuckle.

"Idiota?" Carl raises an eyebrow.

"Rosita keeps calling me that," I tell him. "Honestly, being called an idiot is better than the way people stare."

"How do they stare?"

"Like I'm broken," I whisper on the warm wind pushing past us.

"It's okay to be a little broken," Carl says.

"I don't like it," I reiterate. "I hate it, actually."

Carl smiles at me and dips his head as if conceding to the feeling.

"You said you killed someone?" I ask, regretting it almost immediately.

"I did. One of the Wolves was chasing Ron past the house... I shot him in the leg first." Carl scratches his cheek with his other hand and lets out a deep sigh. "I wasn't going to kill him, but he grabbed my gun when I got closer..."

"Is Ron okay?" I ask, realising I hadn't.

"They all are," Carl tells me back. "Him, Jesse, Sam."

"I killed one too," I say, coughing as a cover when my voice cracks.

"I know," he says it very low and poignantly. "You don't have to tell me about it if you don't want to... Mikey already gave me the details."

"Thanks," I say, hugging myself. There's no chill in the air, but I feel cold right now.

I look down and feel unstable again, so I shimmy myself along the edge of the roof, closer to Carl, until we're joined at the hip. "Does being up here not mess with you?" I ask him, leaning my head into his shoulder. "With your fear of heights, I mean."

Carl leans forwards and peers over the edge to the grass below as if testing. He sits back up and looks at me, shaking his head.

"Why?" I ask him.

"I guess because there's nothing to be afraid of," Carl rests his cheek on the top of my head, the vibration when he speaks tickling me. "If I fell off, it probably wouldn't hurt. I think heights only scare me when they're dangerous."

"God, that's so you," I snort.

"What?" Carl asks, and I can feel him grinning.

I smile. "Even your phobias are practical."

We take a walk towards the solar panels, Carl leading the way, refusing to stop guiding me by my arm, worried about how wobbly I am.

"Can't we stay at home?" I ask, my eyes darting to everyone we pass. All of them staring at me. Their eyes burning through me.

"We need to find, Ron," Carl says.

"Why?"

"I know it's too dangerous to go after Enid alone," Carl says, squeezing the bicep that he's guiding me by reassuringly. "I saved Ron's life from that Wolf- figure he'll help us."

Carl must have known where he'd be because, as he tells me that, Ron comes into sight. Sitting between two of Alexandria's many solar panels.

"Hey," Carl calls out to Ron, who's stabbing his knife into the grass that he sits cross-legged in. "You okay?"

Ron looks pissed off when he glares up at us. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Enid went over the wall," I tell him, "She's trapped out there." My addition to the conversation is my way of telling Carl that I'm okay with his plan.

"What makes you think she isn't dead?" Ron snipes at us both.

"Come on, man..." Carl tries.

Ron appears sick of the conversation, getting up and turning to walk in the opposite direction.

"Look," Carl stops him, "I'll go find her... I just need your help. If we climb up the-"

"Why can't Rhys help you?" Ron points at me, then his face scrunches up like he's confused. "How are you even okay with this?" he questions me, his arms out wide in distress.

"Enid needs help..." I bite my lip, "Carl's right."

"So you're just going to let your boyfriend go out there? Alone? With a fucking horde?!"

"Only if you go with him..."

"Not happening," Ron tells me, scowling at Carl. His expression softens when he looks back at me. "I'm sorry about your ear..."

"It wasn't your fault," I tell him.

"Don't you see what's happening?" Ron's suddenly back to angry, but now he seems more frustrated... angry at Carl, frustrated with me. "I told you before Rhys... they're doing shit behind our backs! They sneak out, they spend time together. I mean, fuck, while I was saving my family and you were getting your ear cut off, they were getting comfy in your house!"

"You don't know shit..." Carl snaps at him.

"Ron," I sigh, stepping between the two of them when they start puffing out their chests like territorial peacocks. "Carl told me that he was going outside the walls. I spend time with them too, Enid's our friend. Carl was protecting Judith when the wolves hit us. Enid was too."

"She's my girlfriend," he tells me before going back to staring daggers at Carl. "I mean, she was right..."

"So you want to leave her out there?" Carl challenges him, raising his voice to match Ron's.

"I told her to stop going over the wall... I told her that there are bad people out there... and that it's stupid and dangerous!"

"Ron..." I try.

"Stop!" Ron yells at me. "Stop being so blind... they're fucking psycho, dude... him, his murderer dad... you just got caught up with them out there. It's in their genes, Rhys... I bet his little sister will end up the same."

"Screw you," Carl spits at him.

"You need to shut the fuck up, man," I hiss at Ron, more for his sake than anything else. I plant a hand firmly against Carl's chest when I hear the anger in his voice, trying desperately to defuse the situation.

"You see!" Ron points at Carl over my shoulder, "He wants to kill me right now! His dad killed mine... the people you came here with get us killed all the time! Glenn probably got Nicholas killed out there! Just because Carl blows you every now and then doesn't mean he gives a shit about you!"

I feel myself coming to the end of my fuse, slowing its burn with thoughts of Ron's dad being dead, his girlfriend running away, seeing how much that hurts him. But Carl's fuse went off a long time ago, my hands not strong enough to stop the explosion as he pushes me aside and punches Ron across the face. I hear the air leave Ron, a resounding crack splitting through the air from his jaw before he crashes to the floor. Carl stands over him, cradling his fist, a furious fire in his eyes I would expect from Rick.

Ron clutches his jaw, blood dripping off his chin from a busted lip. "You fucking see?"

"You okay?" I ask Carl, trying to get a good look at his fist, making sure to stand directly between them this time. "Let's go, okay? We'll work something else out."

"I'm not going to let you go..." Ron groans, propped up in the grass. "I'll tell your dad... he'll go out there to find you, Carl. Then others will too... and then somebody's going to die."

We stop, realising he's right, realising Ron just locked Carl inside Alexandria.

"Saved my life," Ron tells him, wiping his lip on his sleeve. "Now I'm saving yours."

I pull Carl home, holding his arm the whole time, worried his still fuming anger will take him to the sky like a helium balloon if I let go. I have to focus hard to keep my vertigo in check.

Once inside 99, I grab the medical bag from the kitchen, sitting Carl down at the dining room table, making him give me his hand.

"Flex it," I instruct him, holding his swollen hand in my palm.

He manages to make a fist. Blood trickles from where he'd caught Ron's teeth.

"Good... that means it's not broken," I whisper. "Rosita taught me that one."

"You know he was wrong, right?" Carl asks me, so small and conscious that it stings.

"Yes," I tell him clearly.

"That's not all you are," he tells me, his chin trembling.

"I know, Carl," I say. "You know I know that."

He starts crying. "I love you."

"I know you do," I say, leaning forward in my seat to hold him. "You don't have to prove that to Ron."

"I've never hit someone like that," Carl whimpers into my shoulder.

"He shouldn't have said those things," I tell him.

"What do we do now?" Carls asks. "I can't go..."

"I'll go..."

"No," he blurts out, shaking his head as he pulls away and looks at me desperately. "Don't you dare."

"Okay," I tell him, nodding. "We'll figure it out."

Next Time: Rhys comes to terms with his new predicament, making himself an unexpected ally when it makes life hard.