I miss my closet sized bedroom in the Palace, but sleeping beside everyone from home again feels right, even if I don't do much sleeping.

The sun has sunken in the dark sky, casting a cherry glow across Carl's face on the sleeping bag beside me. Rosita and Daryl are both still awake, looking like they want weapons to hold.

While Daryl sits by the door like a protective cat that I might put bets against Shiva for, I quietly tip-toe my way over to Rosita, sitting on the low stage with her, our legs hanging off as we look out on all the sleepers.

"Heard about Spencer," I say quietly.

"He's dead," she nods, sucking on her teeth, focusing her eyes on something I can't see at the back of the room.

"I'm sorry."

"He tried to betray us," she says. "Nothing to be sorry about."

I nod. Nodding in a conversation with Rosita is like adding water to a boiling pot. You can only cool it down so many times before it overfills and everyone gets burnt.

"Still," I shrug after adding the water, "he was sweet."

Rosita shifts all her weight to one leg, leaning away from me a little and saying, "The King... think he'll say yes?"

"Dunno," I answer honestly since that's all I want to do. "If he says no, there are still people who will want to help, who might convince him later."

"Like Richard?"

"Like Richard," I say, adding some more water.

"Well, we don't have that long." She shakes her head, looking around the room, seemingly not finding what she's scanning for. "Morgan," she grimaces, "asshole really didn't have our backs in there."

"His points normally take a while to make sense."

She smirks at me then, bumping my shoulder. "Glad you're back, manito."

When the sun is higher in the sky, and the stained glass fills the space with inky red shade, Richard comes to collect us.

He leads us towards the main gate. Carl asks me what's wrong when I stop at two faded yellow school buses that make up part of the wall. I laugh, telling him that Benjamin brought me here on my second day in the Kingdom when I had a panic attack, that watching the walkers through the windows on the far side somehow helped.

"Panic attack?" Carl asks, looking concerned.

I feel embarrassed all of a sudden. "Yeah, well, that's what Denise used to call. the feeling." I stare at the bus. "It was after Morgan asked me to stay with him in the infirmary... I realised I didn't know Morgan, not really."

"That made you freak out?"

"No..." I frown as I realise that I'm not making much sense. "I realised the only person I really knew here was Carol. Kinda sucked thinking that she was my only family inside the walls."

We meet the King at the archery range where Dianne and Jenny taught me to shoot a bow. Both of them are here now, waving at me, which is a nice change from most people at the Kingdom, who seem to see me as an outsider again.

They must be teaching a PT class because a few other people are missing limbs and things. Benjamin is off to the side practising his with aikido staff.

"This is life here," Ezekiel tells us as everyone watches Jenny sink a bullseye from her stool, showing a young girl how to draw arrows faster. "But it came at a cost."

I realise how spread out we're all standing when the King starts walking between us, still addressing Rick, who looks frustrated that we're still here.

"I wanted more of this," Ezekiel explains, his cane sword by his side. "I wanted to expand. To create more places like this." He glances back at the lesson again, his jaw clenching under his white flecked beard. "Men and women lost their limbs. Children lost their parents because I sent them into battle against the wasted."

"Wasted?" Carl whispers to me.

I shush him.

"This is different," Rick tells Ezekiel, stepping forward.

"It isn't," the King laments.

"It is," Rick nods. "The dead don't rule us. The world doesn't look like this outside your walls. People don't have it as good. Some people don't have it good at all."

"I have to worry about my people."

Jenny twists around on her stool a little to listen.

"You call yourself a damn king," Daryl growls. "You sure as hell don't act like one."

"All of this came at a cost," Ezekiel repeats, not looking back this time, choosing to point instead. "It was lives, arms, and legs," Ezekiel growls.

Jenny looks away.

He turns back to face Rick. "The peace we have with the Saviors is uneasy, but it is peace. I have to hold onto that. I have to try."

Rick looks like he's chewing sand. Richard eyes him carefully as he waits.

"Although the Kingdom cannot grant you the aid you desire, the King is sympathetic to your plight." Ezekiel is suddenly speaking loud and clear so all can hear him. "I offer our friend Daryl asylum for as long as he requires it. He will be safe here. The Saviors do not set foot inside our walls."

"How long do you think that's gonna last?" Daryl snipes, walking away towards the gate before Ezekiel can throw him more than a look.

I follow after Daryl since I know it's over. I don't look at anyone knowing they're all looking at me. Ezekiel, Richard, Benjamin, Jenny, Dianne... all of them. They all watch me. I wonder if they want me to stay. Why would they? Everyone else, all my people, they all watch me because they want me to speak, to give them the edge that they couldn't get from Morgan. Everyone seems to follow Daryl when I don't give them anything.

I hear Rosita and Sasha talking behind me as I walk.

"I knew what was coming," Sasha breaths. "I knew that King guy would say no. But it still pissed me off."

"What the hell are you telling me for?" Rosita asks with a sour bite. "We both had sex with the same dead guy. Doesn't make us friends."

Then Rosita must speed up because she passes me and catches up with Daryl. Sasha stays behind me. I frown and let my face get all scrunchy like I might cry. I don't. I just let it get there. Then I swallow it.

Carl bumps my shoulder, suddenly by my side and giving me a look that feels like he knows everything I'm thinking. It's kind of goofy, so I laugh at him. When he doesn't wipe the face away, I smile at him to tell him I'm okay, even though we both know I'm not.

"All right, open it up," Daryl shouts at the guards on gate duty. "We're going."

The gate creeks open.

I realise then that all the Kingdomers I thought had stayed at the archery range have followed us to the gate. Then I realise that they did that for me. Even though I should really stop being surprised by it, I still am when Ezekiel hugs me. "Travel safe, with the wind at your back."

Then it's Jenny. I have to support her when she drops her crutch to wrap both arms around me. "Don't be stupid, stupid."

Dianne gives me a firm nod that I return, and then Richard hands back my weapons and squeezes my shoulder.

Then it's Benjamin's turn. His staff clatters to the ground, and I'm lifted off my feet for a second, and he's crying like I'm going to college. He puts me back on my feet but keeps holding my head in his arms.

"I'll see you soon," I laugh into his shoulder, the smell of fresh hay clinging to his shirt.

"I know," he tells me, and I can feel his jaw shaking.

I have to wipe my face when I pull away.

"Say bye to everyone else for me," I rub my eyes. "Teo and Henry."

"Be safe, Rhys."

We all leave out the gates, and when I look back, Daryl's still inside. Rick's talking to him, and I hear him say that Daryl has to stay, that the Saviors will be looking for him, and he needs to take the King's offer, maybe try to change his mind about fighting with us.

I don't know if it's just because I'm feeling like a blubbering balloon of hot air with a rubber face right now or because walking through these gates always affects the way I feel, but I run back inside the gates to hug Daryl.

"See you, kid," he says, gripping the back of my neck tightly.

I don't say anything. I realise he hasn't said much to me since I got back. But before I can figure out why that is, Rick takes my arm and we leave.

The hot leather seats stick to the back of my neck. All the van's windows are down. Hot air carries the smell of walkers and countryside down the highway and into the vehicle. I try to roll my window up, but Michonne shouts at me that it's too warm.

Then she smirks.

"So, you sad to leave?" she asks, stroking the sword on her lap.

"Nah," I grin. "You guys need me."

She laughs, a bright smile coming across her pursed lip as she nods.

The radio on Jesus' belt clicks and crackles with the gruff voice of a man. Carl tells me it's Negan.

"For anyone out there who loved the obese bastard as much as I did, I just wanna say a few words. Fat Joey was not the most badass son-of-a-bitch, but he was loyal. In fact, we were just joking about oral sex with Lucille the other day. Things will not be the same now that he's dead. Without Fat Joey, Skinny Joey is just— pfft —Joey. So it's a goddamn tragedy! So, let's have a moment of silence."

"So that's him?" I ask. Somehow he sounds exactly how I thought he would. Like a forest fire burning in the distance. The groaning of scorched wood and screaming flames.

Michonne and Carl nod. Rosita grunts.

"Sounds like an asshole," I say.

"Joey," Carl mumbles. "I met him... he was the one that had dad's gun."

I look at the gun sitting comfortably in Rick's holster in front of us.

"Daryl took him out when we were leaving," Jesus explains.

"Good," Sasha says.

Jesus looks at his feet.

"Who's Lucille?" I ask then.

Everyone goes very still.

"His bat," Rosita says with a voice like grit stuck in her throat.

Then I go still with the others, the last tree in the forest to feel the breeze leave. I remember Mikey telling me how Glenn and Abraham died.

The car rolls to a stop, the way ahead onto the main highway blocked by a row of dusty cars.

"Someone's trying to block the way," Jesus says, sticking his head out the window. "Gotta be the Saviors."

Carl's looking out the other side of the car, beyond some trees and to a tall grey factory in the distance. "I think that's their base over there," he says.

"Yeah, that's it," Jesus sighs, frowning at looming beast. "They must be trying to make it hard to get to them."

"We gotta keep going," Rick tells us, hand on the wheel. "We'll move the cars, and then we'll move them back. They don't need to know we were here."

I help Sasha move a red convertible while Rosita and Carl push a silver four-wheeler with a dented bumper out the way. Tara steers a car with one of its headlights cracked in half, Jesus using our van to nudge it out of the way.

My throat is like sandpaper when I get out of the convertible. Sasha hands me the canteen hooked to her harness and a protein bar from one of its pockets.

I scoff down the food in a few bites and drink deep from the dusty brown canteen.

Carl's grinning at me as he walks around their car.

"What?" I ask, handing him the canteen and watching him drink.

He shrugs, wiping water from his chin. "It's just nice to see you eating. Normally you make me eat your food. Guess you found your appetite at the Kingdom."

"Guess so," I agree. "They did have popcorn."

"What?" Tara barks, sticking her head out of her car, now at the bottom of the row. "And you didn't tell me?!"

"Rick," Michonne calls him over, handing him binoculars she's been keeping watch with and pointing down the highway. "Take a look."

Rick doesn't hand anyone else the binoculars, so it's not until we drive down the highway that I see it. A steel cable pulled taught and hanging between two cars spanning the width of the highway. Attached to it the whole way down are rocket heads and bundled sticks of dynamite. All of it is wired to a detonator switch taped to a gas can that Rick's inspecting.

"What's all this for?" Michonne asks, walking down the line of rigged explosives.

"Wait," Carl says. "When I was hiding in the back of the truck, I heard a couple of them talking about this. This for a herd."

Jesus nods in consensus.

"That's why it's a steel cable," Rosita adds. "It's not just for one walker."

"For a damn lot of them by the looks," Sasha says, inspecting a bundle of dynamite.

"Careful," I say, holding my breath.

"A lot," Carl reiterates Sasha.

We all look back down the highway, all of our bodies stiff with tension. A bend in the road only lets us see so far.

"We need these explosives," Sasha says then.

"Yeah," Rick nods. "But we have to figure out how to disarm it first."

Rosita kneels down by the wire, lifting a metal grate in the grass, displaying a whole bunch of colourful wires all hooked up to a battery underneath the surface.

She starts tugging at a few to see how tight they are.

"Ahh... okay..." Tara murmurs, taking a few steps back.

Rosita glances at her. "Backing up is not gonna make a difference if this thing goes off." Then she looks at me. "Rhys, your finger... here." She points.

I do what she says, ignoring the tidal waves of sweat plastering my hair to my forehead. I hold my finger down as hard as Rosita tells me to while she yanks out a red wire.

"Isn't the red wire the bad one?" I gulp.

"Rhys, cállate," Rosita says under her breath.

"Right," I nod. "Shutting up."

The radio speaks again. The same voice. Negan.

"We got ourselves a red situation. Daryl is out of his cage, and I'm worrying that Fat Joey being beaten to death next to his favourite style of sandwich wasn't an accident! I need a search party. See if Daryl ran home like the dumb animal that he is."

"On it, Boss," another voice says. "Be there in time for lunch."

"Simon..." Jesus gives a name to the second voice.

"Turn that sleepy little burg upside down!" Negan bellows.

"We gotta go," Michonne says, panicked. "We gotta get there before them, but we need these explosives."

"We need to clear the path anyway," I say, Rosita, grabbing my wrist when I almost move my finger. Then she tells me to pull out a wire under my hand. I do, and we don't explode.

"Yeah," Rick agrees, looking down at us. "Rosita... how long do you and Rhys need?"

She doesn't answer. I hold the cut red wire out the way while she lifts the battery out.

"First part's done," she says.

I gulp, waiting until she tells me I can move my hands again.

"What now?" Michonne asks.

"We gotta unwrap the secondary explosives," Rosita points, "the dynamite the RPGs. Make sure these casings are not messed up and do not mess them up either! This thing could still blow."

Rick gives the signal. "You all heard her. Let's go."

We spread out along the line. Rosita yells at me to wipe my hands on the grass when I go to touch some dynamite.

"Sweat will set it off," she barks.

I manage to get a bundle disconnected but then realise I don't have a knife to cut it loose.

"Just keep your eyes on the road for that horde!" Rick tells me. "Help load these explosives into the car."

"Carl, Tara — help Rhys." Rosita claps her hands at us, watching everyone work with eagle eyes. "You can load the explosives into the trunk as long as they're in good shape. No dents, no tears. They're not live. They still need to be triggered to be set off."

Then she takes one Tara is holding. "Not that one. I don't like the way it looks."

"Okay."

"Fuck..." I whisper, staring down the highway.

"Dad, look!" Carl points after hearing me.

Rick follows until he sees the horde that just turned the bend on the highway.

"Okay. There they are."

Rick cuts another RPG head down, handing it to me.

"But they're far. We still have time."

"You sure?" Sasha asks Rick.

"We need these!"

Then Rick gets up, pointing to where we came from. "And we need to get the cars back in front of the onramp."

"They'll know we took their explosives," Jesus points out, carefully passing Carl a bundle of dynamite, "so does it matter?"

"We want that herd to stay on the highway."

"Why?" Tara asks, taking a stick from him.

"We might need it."

I watch as the horde trickles around the corner, too fast for any of our likings.

"Okay," Rosita yells, putting a can of gas in the trunk. "Tara, Carl, Rhys, come on!"

I'm closest to the driver's seat, but Tara pushes me and yells shotgun.

"Really? NOW?!" I bark, getting in the back with Carl.

We get back to the onramp, and we all jump from the van, helping push while Rosita steers the convertible back in place. Then the four-wheeler, and then the one with the cracked headlights. I turn around, and the herd is on us, feet away.

Carl throws me my bow and quiver from the back of the van, but Tara and Rosita push us back.

"Get in the car, dudes!" Tara yells.

"Dad and Michonne!" Carl barks. "Sasha and Jesus, they're all back there."

I nock an arrow, but Rosita grabs my wrist, twisting me into the backseat with Carl.

"We'll figure it out!" she yells.

"Damn it!" Carl slams his door shut.

We're all rolling up the windows as arms and fingers reach for us. I lean back into Carl, dodging swipes until they're shut.

"Where are they?!" I scramble to look out the back window but only see hands and black teeth.

"They'll be okay," Rosita shouts at us from the front passenger seat.

Tara looks flustered. "I think I saw them get in the other cars!"

Then we hear horns honking and engines roaring. Through the dirty window on Carl's side, past gaps in curled fingers, we can see the cars attached by the steel cable barreling down the highway towards us, cutting through the hord, sending arms and heads flying. They stop parallel to us. I see Rick and Michonne barging past walkers, shoulder-charging their way to us. Carl kicks the door open, knocking a few walkers down. Michonne appears in the chaos, clambering over the seats. Then Rick. He slams the door behind him.

"Where's Sasha?!" I scream, scrambling to open the door again.

"Fine!" Michonne's yelling and grabbing my face. "Listen! Fine. She's fine. Her and Jesus are going back to Hilltop. They're gonna tell Maggie what's happening."

When I calm down, Rick's grabbing my shoulders and shaking me. "Have any Saviors seen you at the Kingdom?"

"Yeah!" I yell back. "Yes."

"Who?" he barks. "I need to know. If we get home and someone recognises you, they'll know we know about the Kingdom... probably Hilltop, too! It'll be over!"

"Shit," I hiss. Didn't think about that.

"Gavin," I say. "Tired guy that hates his job," I try describing them, panicking. "High hairline!"

Everyone else shakes their heads.

"Jared," I say when another name comes to me. "Rat face. He's an asshole. Long red hair."

"No," Rosita tells me.

I don't know any other names, so I describe the rest.

"I think we're good," Rick says as we start driving. "Just in case, when we get back, we'll hide you and the cars until the Saviors leave."

Just as I'm about to calm down, a thunderous blast crackles on the road behind us, a plume of black smoke and a roaring fire filling the sky.

I remember the stick Rosita left behind.

Rosita shakes her head. "Yeah, I didn't like the look of that shit at all."

Rick and Michonne are both still panting.

"I pushed it," he grunts. "I pushed it."

"We're here," Michonne grins at him. "You can smile."

Rick doesn't.

"We made it," Michonne laughs in a whisper, pressing their heads together. "We can make it. We can. We're the ones who live."

Carl's squeezing my bicep and knocking his knee against mine.

"Fuck, man," I say, burying my face into his neck.

"Yeah," he pants.

"That was insane."