Review Response
THEOWLPALADIN: Glad you liked it. I'm planning on covering Mann vs Machine later on. Your guess is right on Miss Pauling and the administrator. (I've been hinting at them in my precious chapters.)
Only4jtr: I planned on covering the StBlackSt Unusual series starting with, Texas Space Program. I've completely forgotten about Gold Rush Plan, and will cover it later on. (With some creative liberties.)
Eddyg125: I can still hear the sound clip even in text form.
Ultima-Owner: They truly hide it indeed.
StrongGuy159: Ask and you shall receive.
Gravious: Yeah, I had fun typing down the audience reaction.
Inspiration: Expiration Date
Disclaimer: The following is a Non-Profit story for entertainment only. "RWBY" is the property of director and animator Monty Oum (RIP) and production company Rooster Teeth, and Team Fortress 2 is the property of Gabe Newell, and development company Valve.
The notorious, gentlemanly thief, Roman Torchwick sneaks through the hall of the interdimensional theater. He just left the media room, saying he was going to take a piss. But he passed the restrooms several doors ago, as that's not his main goal. What he's really after is the Golden Statue of the previous host sitting in his office, waiting to be stolen.
Ever since the replacement host told him about the true owner's condition of being turned into a statue made of pure gold, peaks Roman's interests in taking it for himself. So he waited for the right moment to sneak out without the Doctor's knowledge, and it came in the form of a history lesson.
After watching a mostly naked Ironwood punch a Yeti into extinction. The nerd with the glasses and pure caffeine in his veins, asks about the history of a place called 'Australia', which the interdimensional quack happily provides.
With the Temp Host now distracted. Roman told Neo to cover for him as he went to use the "Restroom", making his way to the office. It was almost perfect, that is till.
"Lost your way to the bathroom Mr. Torchwick." A voice spoke from behind. Startling the criminal.
"Woah! Monty!" screamed Torchwick, as he almost jumped out of his skin.
He turned to see that it was Headmaster Ozpin who was standing behind him the whole time.
"Never had someone out sneak you before, I take it?" Ozpin said so casually, taking a sip of his coffee.
Roman was peeved "What are you doing here? And how did you get past the glass?"
The headmaster just chuckled, "Oh that simple. I just went around it." he said as Torchwick gave him a strange look. "Dr. Stirling's glass only goes so far as the media room. Everywhere else is free reign to explore and visit. So when I saw you leave, I just took the long way round and caught up with you. Just don't tell Hazel but the detour."
"Alright… but that still doesn't explain why you're following me."
The headmaster took another sip, "Simple. To help you."
Roman stared in stunned silence for a solid second as he went. "...what?"
"I know that you're interested in stealing the owner of this cinema when the Doctor has mentioned that he is now pure gold. And I want to help you in your endeavor." Ozpin explains more clearly.
"But… Why? …Why help me?" The bowler hat gentleman asks.
"Because I don't trust him." Ozpin said plainly.
Now Roman is completely lost. "What?"
Ozpin took another sip, to the point that Roman thinks that his mug doesn't have a bottom. "Before the Doctor even arrived, Mr Gold-Sith was at full health with no signs of sickness. And when he left to get something from storage. Suddenly this being showed up claiming to be a doctor, and said that Mr. Gold-Sith had called in sick and turned into a gold statue. I may not know much about interdimensional diseases, but something is not adding up."
"And you want to help me, all so you can get to the bottom of this." Torchwick said, trying to make sense of the situation.
"I'll pay you handsomely when we get back to Remnant."
"You got yourself a deal!"
Roman and Ozpin are both now working together, sneaking through the Theater. Until they made it to the office door where it was sealed with tape labeled "QUARANTINE! DO NOT OPEN!" over and over again. They peck through the glass where they can see Gold-Sith petrified in gold inside a glass case opposite to the door.
"There he is." Ozpin said as he sipped more coffee.
Roman then noticed something. "Hey Ozzy… do interdimensional beings give off faces of terror when they're sick, cause look at his face." He pointed Ozpin towards the statue's terrified face. "That is not a face one makes when they're sick. It's more along the line of being on the receiving end of a murder."
The headmaster sees it as well. The terrified face, arms positioned like they're trying to defend themselves, and the eyes give up the look as if his life is flashing before his eyes.
"Can you get the door opened?" He asks the criminal.
"Neo is usually the one who opens the doors. I could too, just not as well." Torchwick pulls out a lockpick out of his hat as he does his trick. "This door doesn't use any of those fancy, highly advanced, mumbo jumbo the Atlasian's use, so I'll manage it the old fashioned way."
As Roman began to pick the lock, the two felt a looming presence just behind them. They turned to see it was Emerald-Stirling looking down at them.
"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" The Doctor smiles. "A couple of trouble makers trying to break protocol."
"Told you not to steal it." The Headmaster said disapprovingly to the criminal.
Torchwick looked at Ozpin, beside himself in disbelief.
"I warn you that the Doctor is gonna find out. But you said "That Green Quack won't know what hit him, once I'm done stealing everything."
The Ginger-haired criminal couldn't believe it. The Headmaster himself of all people is throwing him under the bus, just to be used as a scapegoat.
"Now wait…" Roman tried to defend himself, only to be scorched up by Dr. Stirling as he spewed green flames out his nostril. He screamed and screamed till the Doctor stopped, leaving Torchwick covered with burns and soot.
"This will be the only warning I give ya." Dr. Emerald-Stirling explained. "If you break protocol again, then you'll be joining Mr. Gold-Sith in quarantine. Do I make myself clear?"
"...Crystal…" Roman coughs up a whimper.
The Temp Host then smiles. "Good. Now let's get back to the others. They're waiting for you."
In a green flash of light, the three disappear. Meanwhile inside the office, Gold-Sith saw the whole thing as his index finger twitched.
Back over to everyone else. In a flash of green light, Ozpin is back with the Students and Staff of Beacon, and Torchwick with the Inner Circle. Salem and the other members noticed the Well-roasted Roman, even Neo is concerned.
As Neo is typing on her to ask what happened. Torchwick raised his hand to his partner and said. "I don't want to talk about it."
"You tried to break protocol, didn't you." Cinder said smugly, knowing exactly what happened.
Over on Beacon's side. The students and staff were filling Ozpin in on what he missed.
"Hey Ozzy! Where have you been?" Qrow asks the Headmaster.
"You missed a lot of important information." Said Prof. Oobleck, "Dr. Stirling just went over not just the history and culture of Australia, but also the citizens who originated from there."
"Yeah! Like, did you know that Ren's counterpart also came from there?" Nora chimes in.
"And Ironwood is a huge celebrity in this universe.!" Ruby holds up a comic book she's been reading.
The Comic is titled "Girl's Adventures starring James Ironwood", where Ironwood and some Girl Scouts are surrounded by Grimm. Ironwood has a speech bubble where he says, "what's the matter girls? Don't you wanna live forever?"
"He's been in multiple comics and has tons of merch." She continues.
"Mmmph! Mmmph!" Yang tries to say something, but her mouth is full of Sandwiches that Weiss stuffed, fulfilling her threat. [1]
"Don't talk with your mouth full." Weiss said with disgust. "I've told you not to eat like that near me. Now you have to live with the consequences."
With all her might. Yang gulped down the entire dozen of Sandviches in one big "NOM!". The whole thing went down her gullet as her throat bulged out and contorted before returning back to normal. After a few seconds, she let out a huge belch that shook the whole room.
As the Heiress fans Yang's stinky breath away. Yang looks over at the Doctor. "What I was trying to say is. What film are we watching this time?" She asks.
"Glad you ask." Emerald-Stirling Sets up the next film reel. "The last several films practically introduce the cast's insanity at the individual level. Now we're going to watch what happens if they're in the same room."
"Please no." Cinder complains. "It's already hard enough watching them by themselves. Now you want us to watch them at the same time."
"Pretty much." The Temp Host dismisses The False Maiden's plea as he got the film ready. "Trust me when I say you'll enjoy this."
As the Countdown starts. Glynda looks over to the Headmaster. "Did you get what you're looking for?" She asks as the timer hits five.
Ozpin carefully pulls out a set of keys from his inner coat pocket to show her. "I did Ms. Goodwitch. And it was much easier than you think." He replied as he put the keys back in.
As the time hits two, he remembers how he uses his magic to easily snatch the keys away from Dr. Stirling as he scorches Torchwick earlier.
The Timer hits zero and the film begins.
The film begins fading into a shot of a desert road similar to 'Meet the Sniper'. Light flute music plays with a soft drum accompaniment, as the camera pans down to a crush can of Bonk. Suddenly a white battle-scarred van screeched into view from the right, knocking away the can and fishtails, nearly ripping off its rear bumper as it continued down the left lane.
Cut to the side view of the van. The camera pans from the rear towards the front while a heavy drumbeat plays. The red logo on the side of the van reads "Red Breads", pock-marked with bullet holes and the white paint has been scraped off the sides. The camera continues panning and steadies at the van's open aired cab, revealing Jaune sleeping in the passenger seat, and Yang hunched over at the wheel.
"There's Yang and Fearless Leader!" Nora announced happily, despite having a fresh batch of pancakes in her mouth.
"You shouldn't be driving so recklessly Ms. Xiao Long." Glynda pointed out, wondering how she got her license riding Bumblebee through the streets of Vale like that.
"Hey! We just got out of a tough gun fight, if you couldn't tell by the van." Yang defended herself.
Ruby looked closely at the damages, "What exactly happened for it to be beat up like that?"
"Probably a stealth mission gone wrong, considering it's just a regular van designed only for delivering baked goods going by the logo." Blake speculates, having gone on missions where she and Adam were disguised as the working class when infiltrating.
Inside the cab, where a pair of fuzzy dice are dagling overhead, and the windshield is riddled with bullet holes or downright missing. The dashboard monitor began to beep. Yang notices the ringing and hits Jaune awake with her arm.
"Gwaa! Bwaa! What?! What? Oh." Jaune said shaken was he woke.
He reaches over to answer the monitor since Yang's busy with the wheel. When he pushes the button, the screen lights up to a video call of a Bunny faunus wearing a purple collared shirt and glasses, with her hair tied back into a bun.
"Jaune, it's Scarlatina. Tell me you got the briefcase." Velvet asks immediately as soon as the Scout answers.
"Hey! Would you look at that? You're in this as well." Coco said while petting her hunnybun on the head. "And I got to say, you're looking pretty cute."
"Stop that." Velvet giggled bright red in the face.
"I wonder what role she plays in this." Ozpin said to himself while sipping some coffee.
"Yeah sure." Jaune replied.
"And nobody saw you?"
The Scout hesitated, "Ah. Basically nobody."
"Jaune, I'm here right now." Her expression darken.
"Well, that's a funny story…"
Before He could tell what happened. He was interrupted by Pyrrha emerging from the cab's rear door, placing her hand on his face as she wanted to talk to Velvet. Her sudden appearance nearly caused Yang to run everyone off the road.
"Hello, Miss. Scarlatina! We Killed everyone and took a briefcase!" Pyrrha holds up the Briefcase to show it as Yang regains control.
"Sorry!" Pyrrha apologies for her counterpart's misbehavior for getting into everyone's personal space.
"It's alright Pyrrha." Jaune confers her. "You're just eager to show that you did a good job."
"Not everyone, Pyrrha." Scarlatina corrected. "You left seven witnesses, guys" Lionheart's bloody hand raised behind her reaching for help. She turns and shoots Leon in the head with a silent pistol making the arm fall back down. "Six."
"So it was a stealth mission gone wrong." Blake said, her theory proven right.
"Well no surprise there." Yang added. " We're not exactly the stealthiest team on Remnant."
"We can't go through one stealth operation without something blowing up." Weiss tosses in her two lien.
The Van pulls into a dirt road flanked by rocky cliffs and Sentries, as the Team Fortress secret base can be seen in the distance. Cinder can be found lying dead atop the van as it drives in, a wooden prop of a cactus with some desert plants pop up and a painted curtain falls into place, disguising the entrance.
"Got to say. That's quite a clever way to hide a base." Roman complemented, as well as making a mental note to do something similar to his hideouts.
The Van rolls down a ramp and pulls into a garage, as the rear bumper falls off.
"Look, just keep the briefcase safe, okay?" The Bunny Faunus asked them. "Have a good weekend, Guys."
Cinder's corpse fell off the van when they came to a complete stop. Yang makes a face at Cinder's lifeless body as she puts the Van at park, realizing she needs to clean that up.
Cinder felt puterbed seeing her corpse. Wondering if her plans are gonna fall through if the Students are as skillful as their mercenary counterparts.
"Goodbye, Miss. Scarlatina! I'm leaving the van now!" Pyrrha announces as she closes the cab's rear door behind her.
"Bye bye. Okay then." Jaune said to Pyrrha, adjusting his hand and earpiece as he looked back at the monitor. "Hey, Hey, Miss. Scarlatina! Before you go. Ahh-"
"Uh Huh?" Velvet responds, dragging a body across the floor.
"So she's tasked with cleaning up their mess once the missions are done." Qrow speculated.
"Much like how we have to clean your messes." Winter quipped.
"Oh. har-har." The drunk bird replies as he sips his flask.
Jaune the Scout stammers and scratches his cheech, having trouble trying to say something.
"Jaune. What? Say something."
"Wait. am I…" The Fearless Leader said, suspecting something from his counterpart.
"You're probably really busy this weekend, right?" Jaune manages to say something.
"Funny you should mention that." Miss Scaletatina said, as she dusted off her hands after finishing dragging bodies into a pile and picked up a fire axe, implying she was going to chop them up. "Um. Looks like I will be burning bodies all weekend. So you don't go to jail."
"I suppose it makes sense." Professor Port commented. "Even with the ability to respawn. You'll still have your old body rotting away somewhere, so you have to dispose of it, lest you spread disease." as he finishes. He then realized something. "Wait? What's that about jail time?"
"Oh g-good. So we're both busy!" The Scout replies awkwardly.
It was then there everyone realized what was going on.
"Oh my Oum! Jaune! Are you trying to hit on my Hunnybun?" Coco asks, chuckling.
Velvet got a bit of butterflies in her stomach upon hearing Coco's comment.
"He's doing terribly at it though." Weiss pointed out.
"Hey! At least Vomit Scout is trying." Yang defended her friend.
The two awkwardly stare at each other for a couple seconds before sirens and tire screeches can be heard outside.
"Oh. Got to go" Velvet hangs up, not before firing a couple of shots.
Jaune leans back resignedly. "Lot of people busy with… busyness."
"Asking out that dial tone again, I see." Blake quipped as she walked past.
"Go to hell, Blake." The Scout Said, dropping his demeanor and looks dejected.
"WHAT WAS THAT YOU JUST SAID!" Adam shouted at Jaune ready to cut him down if the glass wasn't in the way.
Everyone on Beacon's side of the glass got into their battle stance, ready to protect Jaune as he went, "Woah! Woah! Hold on! I didn't mean to say that!"
"It was still uncalled for." Blake added. Still surprised that he said that.
"Maybe they still have some bad blood after she left him all alone with the Apeman… and the Yeti." Qrow speculated while making a quick quip at Ironwood.
The General just ignores him as everyone else when "Oooh" as they figure that Jaune the Scout has a small grudge against Blake after what happened at Yeti Park.
Even Adam understands surprisingly as he sat back down saying, "That would do it."
Jaune sadly chalked to himself as he got out of the van. He looks over to see Pyrrha attempts to extract Adam's carcass from the van's hood as Nora takes the teleporter. He walks up to Ruby and Weiss who are talking to each other. Yang can be seen in the background eating a sandvich for the fridge.
"Hey, look at all this." He pointed to a table covered with tools and a teleporter the Medic and Engi are working on. "What have you two eggheads been workin' on?" Jaune tosses the keys to the van, only for it to fly in between them. They both glared at him, ignoring the keys clattering to the floor. "Nice catch."
"I know that face." said Yang, having the same thing happen to her when she tossed her keys to Ruby. "That's the kind of face she makes when she gives bad news."
Ruby turns to Weiss before turning back to Jaune to address something as Weiss takes a step back. "Yeah. Listen. Ah… We've been running some experiments on the teleporter. Well yeah. Y'all ought a take a look at this."
Pyrrha wanders over, interested as Ruby picks up her PDA. Yang is still eating her sandvich, but still observing. The Engineer flicks a switch, activating the teleporter as a loaf of bread appears above it.
"Wow. You can teleport bread. That is. Big news." Jaune sarcastically said, unamused.
"I know that he used the teleporter twenty-four seven, but that is not something to sneeze at." Dr. Watt disagreed with Jaune the Scout's sarcasm.
"Yeah! Me and Ruby would be playing all day if we had access to it." Nora chimed in.
"Ruby and I." Weiss corrected Nora's grammar.
Jaune turns his head looking for someone, unaware that Weiss is picking up the loaf.
"Um. Is Nora back with the drinks yet? Cause I-" Weiss interrupted Jaune by breaking open the loaf with a sickening crunk, to reveal its interior pulsating with Green lumps and teeth. Jaune jumps back in a defencive stance yelping, "Whaaaa! What the hell is that?!"
Weiss the Medic cheerily gesturing slightly with the half throbbing loaf. "Tumors!"
Yang looks at her sandvich, wondering if it's infected with tumors as well.
"Oh my Oum!" Winter exclaimed, losing her composure. "I think I'm gonna be sick."
"Oh that's nasty." Tyrian commented, unable to look away.
"Welp… there goes my lunch." Said Jaune as he began to vomit.
Forchantly, Emerald-Stirling thought ahead as he summoned buckets for everyone. As the rest of the audience started gagging or straight up throwing up from the reveal. The ones who were eating carb based foods, just pushed theirs away from them as they lost their appetite. Like Nora with her pancake, Yang and the sandviches, even Salem pushed away her bagels despite not taking a bite out of them.
After everything calmed down, the film continued.
"Y'all know what this means right?" Ruby asks the group, with a concerned look on her face.
Pyrrha grabbed Jaune by the collar and slammed him on the Table going. "We cannot teleport bread anymore!" completely upset with the fact that she can no longer do what she loves.
"Woah! Calm down Pyrrha." Jaune exclaimed, "I know you're upset but don't take it out on me!"
"Sorry." Pyrrha apologies sheepishly.
"Woah! Whoa… Not exactly, Pyrrha." Ruby calms her down before she could lay the smackdown on Jaune. "You teleport as much bread as you like." Pyrrha was happy to hear that. The Engineer then takes off her helmet to give the bad news, "That goes for all of ya. If there's something any of y'all wanted to do before you… Well. Died. Now would be the time." Yang sniffs her sandvich in the background, then proceeds to continue eating it, deeming it alright.
Nora then thought of something. "Wait… couldn't you just die, and then respawn all healthy with no tumors in you?"
"I don't think it's that simple." Penny object. "The Respawn system seems to bring anyone back as recently as the state where they died. Making it that your new body is no younger than your recently deceased body, with all your memories and flaws. Meaning the tumors will still be in you no matter how many times you respawned."
"Which means that Team Fortress is dead permanently and we win by default!" Cinder cheered in triumph, believing she won in the long run.
"Um. you forgot that Team Castle also uses teleporters." Dr. Watt pointed out. "Meaning that we're going to be killed by tumors as well. The only difference is Team Fortress figure it out first and disconnect themselves from the machine, while we're stuck in an infinite death loop trying to figure out what's going on."
The whole room went quiet, hearing that Team Castle is about to meet a fate worse than death. Salem and Ozpin both know what it felt like, wishing no one would have the same fate as them.
"How long before these tumors kill us?" Blake asks.
The Mad Doctor began to do some quick math in her head as everyone looked at her. "Well, let's see. We all use the teleporter, let's say six times a day. Times, four years. Minus we're not bread. Hmm. Three days." she concluded. "Yes. We all have three days to live."
"What kind of math is that!" Weiss complained to her counterpart.
Yang and Jaune looked worried as Ruby looked down the floor. Pyrrha looks confused however, counting the days on her fingers.
Suddenly Nora appears using the table teleport wearing a sombrero and carrying a crate full of lime flavored drinks going, "Wooooooooooooo! Whooo! Whoo." She calmed down, saying, "What?" wondering why nobody was celebrating.
"How do we tell her?" Ren asks, knowing how devastated Nora would be, hearing they're going to be dead for good.
Team Fortress Base: 70 hours til death.
It's late at night as everyone gathers using a poker table to hold a meeting. At the table are Ren, Nora, Yang, Jaune, Pyrrha, and Blake. Blake the Spy began the meeting by placing a bucket full of cards on the table.
"This is a bucket."
"Dear Dust." Pyrrha said, astonished.
"There's more."
"No!"
Some of the students snorted on how Pyrrha the Soldier reacted to it.
"I felt like that was gonna be a meme." Yang noted, catching her breath.
Blake paused, ignoring her as she continued. "It contains the dying wish of everyone here." She looks over at their team's Scout. "Jaune. Did you collect everyone's dying wish?" she asks.
"You Bet!" He replied with a quick salute.
"Excellent. Gentlemen, synchronize your death watches." Everyone did what Blake said. Their watches read seventy hours til their supposed deaths.
"Wait? Isn't their team Pyro a robot?" Mercury asks. "Wouldn't she theodicy survive since she can't get infected with tumors?"
Everyone looked at Penny as she cooled down her inner circuitry. "Technically. I'm able to live forever since I can't be infected with tumors and other diseases. But I don't want to continue living in the world without my friends. So I'm mostly likely to stick around till I'm the last one standing, then shut myself down permanently to join them in the afterlife." [2]
Ironwood and the others were saddened to hear that she was willing to give up her life, just to be with her friends. But they accepted her decision.
Blake began her speech as brass played triumphantly in the background. "We have seventy hours to live. For most men, no time at all. We are not most men." She states, as she places her hand on Yang's shoulder. "We are mercenaries. We have the resources. The will. To make these hours count!"
"That's quite a speech Ms. Belladonna." Ozpin complemented. "If you had given a speech like that during the initiation day. I would have a hard time deciding who would be team leader between you and Ms. Rose."
Blake blushed heavily from the Headmaster's complement.
"Before we continue, I would like to ask. If you were told that you're going to die soon, either tomorrow or by the end of the week. what would be your last wish?" Jaune asks randomly.
Everyone sat silently for a moment to think.
Ruby was the first to answer. "To spend my last hours talking to my mom before joining her."
"Take Bumblebee for one last ride through Vale." Yang chime in.
"For me…" Nora ponders holding her chin. "To eat as many pancakes as I can, then spend my last hours cuddling Ren."
As the Inner Circle listened in on the conversation not contributing, Salem spoke up. "To find what was left of the tower where I first met Ozma, and reminisce on my life choices leading up to now."
This surprised everyone, especially Ozpin, as they never expected her to be so open with her answer.
"The clock is ticking, gentlemen. Let's begin." The Spy picks up a card that has Jaune's name on it. "Our first dying wish is Jaune's. He's… drawn a picture of me getting chased by some dogs."
A close up shot of the card shows a well drawn pic of Blake running on all fours with a fluffed up tail as a pack of realistic looking dogs chases her. Stink line can be shown, radiating off of the Spy. "I have something radiating off of me."
"Yeah, those are stink lines." Jaune answers. He then looks over at the rest of the group. "That's why the dogs are chasing her. Cause she smells."
Adam slowly turns his head toward Jaune as he sinks down his seat. Blake felt the bravado fade away from Jaune's joke.
"Yes I see." Blake said as she grabbed another card. "Here you've drawn me having sexual congress with a Tuna." Jaune chuckles as Blake tosses the card aside to grab another one. "The Tuna having sexual congress with me." She tosses that card and grabs another one as Jaune chuckles again. "Both of us relaxing Post-coitus."
Nora silently mouthed "Post-coiwha?" not getting it.
"What's Post-coitus?" Nora asks. Causing everyone who knows to sweat bullets.
Unfortunately. Penny failed to read the room. "It's a saying meaning after having se-" She was immediately silenced by every adult in the vicinity, as they covered her mouth with their hands.
Mercury decided now is a good time to be a stinker. "IT MEANS THEY HAD SE-" he attempted to shout out, only to have a fist around his neck, squeezing his windpipe shut.
It was Hazel who silenced him. "Language." He said as he let go of Mercury's throat, letting him breathe again.[3]
Everyone just continues watching the film, purposely ignoring what just happened.
Blake grabs one final one out the bucket. "I'm crying and the Tuna has stick lines coming off of it. Did anyone besides Jaune put a card into the bucket?!" She asks in frustration.
The rest of the group sat in silence as Jaune laughed to himself saying, "Classic Scout."
"To be honest… that was kinda lame." Yang criticized Jaune the Scout's prank.
"The drawings are pretty neat. Even if you ruined Blake's hype." Said Ruby, trying to find a silver lining.
"I know we're dying, and you're still salty about Yeti Park. but you shouldn't be that petty." Blake added.
"Sorry." Jaune apologies, feeling bad.
"Fantastic." The Cat Faunus said disappointed, "This was a huge waste of my time."
"You did not read mine." Pyrrha holds up a card with her name on it.
Blake sighs, "Does it say you want the bucket?"
"Yes!"
Blake the Spy hands Pyrrha the bucket which she happily takes.
The bit reminded Cinder of a time back working at the Glass Unicorn. She didn't have many friends, so she drew a face on the old worn out bucket with charcoal and name it Mr. Bucket. While no one is looking. She picks up the bucket that the Temp Host gave them to throw up in, (She held her lunch). And scorched a face on it with the tip of her finger.
"Welcome back old friend." She whispered to the object before hiding it from everyone else. [4]
"See you all in hell!" Blake said as she dismissed the meeting.
Pyrrha walked with the rest of the group out of the room before stopping to play with her new bucket. She soon noticed Ruby and Weiss pushing some carts to the lab full of bread and a tele.
"Looks like we're going to be spending the entire weekend finding a cure." Weiss suspected their intentions.
"I do hope so." The Red Reaper agrees. "We don't have much time, so we better make every second count."
A loaf fell off Weiss' cart, as Pyrrha gasped in horror. Upon closer examination, she has an idea.
"You're gonna teleport that loaf all weekend aren't you." asks Ruby.
"You did give me permission." Pyrrha retorts. "What better way to spend your final moments, (Other than with loved ones). Then goofing around with technology with your friends.
Blake's library: 58 hours til death.
Blake sits alone by the fireplace, holding a glass of hot tea as she reads one of her many yaoi smut novels.
"That pretty much sums up how I want to spend my last moments." Blake said to herself.
She heard some knocking as she took a sip. "Go away." she requests, wanting to be alone.
The door opened anyway, revealing it was Jaune who knocked. "Hey, ah, got a second." he asks.
"Oh, Jaune. Please. Go * yourself." Blake said bluntly, not happy about Jaune's prank.
"Language." Said Hazel, as everyone else cringed by Blake's bluntness.
"Yeah… Blake can be equally petty as well." Adam commented. "One time I threw away her tuna sandwich while cleaning out the fridge, and she refused to talk to me for a month."
"I was going to eat that!" The Cat Faunus complained.
"It was sitting there for three days, stinking up the break room!" The Bull Faunus Retort. "No one could go anywhere near it, so I took matters to my own hands!"
The two exes bicker with one another for the next half-hour, till they manage to calm down and continue watching.
Jaune tries to laugh it off. "Yeah. Hey that's, that's funny. Um. anyway I-"
Blake was not having it as she pins his face in between the door and the doorframe with her body.
Jaune felt a sharp pain, as if his head was being squished. Blake felt a bit guilty doing that to him.
"Wait! Wait! Wait! Ow." Jaune called out in pain, as Blake raised her knife, "Come on, Blake. I'm wedging my head through a door here to tell you I'm sorry."
Blake rolled her eyes and let Jaune go free, telling him to "Make it Quick."
"So I… I did write down a last wish" he said, gaining the courage to speak his mind. "I'd, ahh. I'd like to go on a date with Miss. Scarlatina."
All the girl students went "Oooo". Believing it's adorable that he wants to go out with Velvet. Jaune was heavily blushing in embarrassment.
"Seems like Vomit Boy has finally grown a spine." Yang playfully picks on him.
"I think it's cute that you want to date my HunnyBun." Coco cheekily complements the fearless leader.
"Quite admirable that you're willing to spend your last moments going out with someone you're fond of." The Heiress surprisingly complements him.
"But why Velvet of all people?" Pyrrha questioned, secretly wondering why Jaune was not going out with her. "Why not the other Mercenaries?"
Penny pops in with a quick answer. "With a quick analysis, and a little study on the Merc's personalities. I can safely say that his teammates are too much for him." She said straightforwardly. Everyone gave a confused look.
"What do you mean?" Pyrrha asks for some clarification.
Penny obliges by going into details as to why, "For starters, Yang cares more for her Minigun Sasha that him; Blake and Jaune are on bad terms as of now; Ruby care more for her buildings; Nora secretly more into Ren; my counterpart only cares more about fire; Jaune would never survive a date with Weiss; and Pyrrha is too far down the deep end to noticed him."
"Oh…" Said The Invincible Girl, disappointed.
The Spy turned, giving Jaune a confused look. "You? You're terrible with girls."
The Scout got defensive. "What? No. No. No. Blake, look at this." he pointed to his general area and face. "And this. And this here. Blake, look at all of this." he spun around showing his physics. "Heh. No. I'm great with girls."
Cutting away to a fast food restaurant. Jaune is standing by the counter with a bucket of chicken drumsticks. Miltia and Melanie Malachite are also there sharing a bucket of chicken.
"We got buckets of chicken. Wanna do it?" Jaune gestures to the bucket he's carrying. Asking the twins out.
"Eh. okay." The Malachite Twins said unanimously.
Everyone was taken aback with the fact that Jaune the Scout, got game.
"I barely could get a word in before they straight up shunned me. And here he is winning both of them with some chicken." said Neptune, with a hint of jealousy in his voice.
"Chicken is good though." Yang added.
"So you're saying that anyone can win you over by offering some chicken?" Weiss doubted Yang's logic.
"Well… chicken and surviving more than ten seconds in an armwrestling contest." The Blonde Brawer retorts.
Cutting back to Blake's Library, where Jaune continues the conversation.
"But you, Blake. You are amazing with ladies." The Scout clarifies. "You know, classy ones. The kind that smells good and can read. And always have their glasses on just kind of crooked. You know? The ones that don't go for a guy like me."
"So he has trouble talking to someone like Glyndy over here. Rather than someone like my niece. Guess that makes sense." Qrow pointed his thumb over to Ms Goodwitch, as he understood his predicament.
Glynda didn't appreciate being called Glyndy.
"Also, I'm a lesbian. So any chances of hooking up with me are pretty much dead on arrival." Velvet explains bluntly. "Who knows. Maybe he'll surprise me."
Blake pondered for a second. Smiling as she asks. "Hmm, and why is that, do you think?"
"C'mon, Blake, I don't know." Jaune, not wanting to admit it.
"Well, a mystery we will take to our graves then. Goodbye." The Spy Cat proceeds to walk away.
"Wait, Wait, Ah." Jaune sighs, feeling he's going to regret this. He approaches Blake as she pours herself some more tea. "Okay. Look. Fine. Blake. This never leaves this room." He sighs once more, really going to regret this. "You are better than me. Alright? I need your help."
Blake finishes pouring before answering. "I'll do it. On one condition."
She presses a button next to her as it pops up a mic. Blake then blows into the mic, not only to check if it is working, but to get everyone's attention. The mic reverb could be heard all over the base. Attracting Ren, Nora, Penny, and Yang who were sharing drinks at the poker table. Ruby and Weiss who were in the middle of finding a cure. And Pyrrha, who's carrying many loaves of bread.
"Say that again." Blake said as she pushed the mic towards Jaune with her finger.
"Yep. That's the Blake I knew." Adam chuckled to himself. "Always finding any loopholes in the wording, just so she could maliciously comply with whatever you say."
"Got to say. That's pretty devious." The Heiress complemented.
Training Gym: 51 hours til death.
Blake and Jaune are standing in the middle of the gym, as Blake places some wine glasses on a cart along with some other items such as a heart shaped box of chocolate, Wine, a rose, a vase with a rose in it, and a bucket of chicken. After adjusting one of the wine glasses, she pushed the cart over to Jaune.
"Seduce me." Blake requested Jaune.
Yang snorted a bit but kept it in.
Jaune was taken off guard. He looked back then back at Blake. "You?"
"Seduce me." Blake Request again.
Yang having trouble holding it in.
"What, Blake? I ain't gonna…"
"Seduce me!" Blake interrupted him, bringing her voice up a couple decibels.
Yang was bursting out laughing at this point.
"A bit too straight forward, don't you think? Ay, Blake." Yang joked, "At least invite him to dinner first."
"If he's going to ask Velvet for a date. We need to find how well he knows about asking girls out." Blake retorts. "Weiss is also a good candidate for teaching him how to ask them out. But he doesn't have our Weiss. He has their Weiss, who thinks that the best way to get to a girl's heart is by cutting them open."
The Heiress raised her finger to defend her counterpart. But then puts it down going, "Fair."
"Right, Right, Okay." Jaune picks up the bucket of chicken going, "Okay." as he attempts to seduce Blake. "Hey there, good lookin'" He said nervously, saying what he knew. "I got a bucket of chicken."
Weiss doesn't know what's cringier. This or the time Jaune asked her out for prom by terribly singing to her with a guitar.
"Honestly. It might work, if you were offering carrot cake instead of chicken." Velvet said, giving off some pointers while taking a bite of said cake.
Blake slaps him across the face, causing him to spill his chicken all over the floor.
"I'm not one of your fried chicken tramps!" She announced as she picked up a crash test dummy off its stand. Blake then controls the dummy like a marionette saying "I'm a woman. I like my men, Dangerous, Mysterious. You want to be my lover?! Earn it. Seduce me!" She then slaps Jaune with the dummies hand as jazz music begins to play.
Jaune looks up rubbing his cheek to see Blake smiling behind the dummy.
"Ooooooo! It's time for a dating training montaaaaaaage." Nora sings with excitement.
"Well good luck with that Jaune, for you're in for a bumpy ride." Adam commenteed, surprising his ex since he never referred to a human by name before. "Blake has a cruel way when it comes to her teaching method. Be glad that she's not training you in hand-to-hand combat." He joked.
The montage began with Jaune and Blake in a classroom. The word DINNER is written on a chalkboard as Blake is teaching the first lesson. Then Jaune is sitting at the head of a long banquet table where Penny is holding a bottle of sparkling cider, and Blake is carrying a bucket of chicken on a silver platter. At the other end of the table, Nora and Ren can be seen playing the Piano and saxophone respectively.
"I didn't know you could play the piano." Weiss said to Nora in surprise. Never expected the hyperactive girl to be so talented.
"We picked up on the skill pretty quickly ever since we left the village." Ren answers for his partner. "We needed money to buy food and a place to sleep. So we picked up any instrument we could find in the junkyard, and practiced all week till our fingers bleed."
"So it was you two who were playing late at night." Ms. Goodwitch said in surprise. Always hearing a duet echoing throughout all of Beacon. She never confounded them to stop, since over half of the Academy students said that the acoustics help them sleep at night.
Jaune tried to take a drumstick from the bucket with a fork. But Blake smacked it out of his hand, as the utensil flies and embed itself in Nora's eyepatch. The Demo eye widens in shock.
Blake cat ears flatten in guilt, "Sorry." she apologies, as she almost blinden the hyperactive ginger if she hadn't lost her eye already.
"Don't worry about it. I still have my other one." Nora jokes.
Back in the classroom with the next lesson. Indicated by the word DANCING on the chalkboard. Back in the previous room. Jaune can be seen awkwardly dancing energetically. He pointed both his fingers to Blake, who merely shook her head in disgust.
"I know that you're a good dancer after the Dance." Weiss complemented, before giving him criticism, "But you need to do better than that to win Velvet over."
Blake proceeds to show Jaune the proper way to dance, as she twirls the dummy in a ballroom dance. Jaune watches in confusion before it was his turn. He tried to do the same thing, only for him to send the dummy flying into the music player.
Jaune winced as he apologized.
"It's alright." The Cat Faunus comforts him. "Practices make perfect. It just takes time."
"Time they don't have much of." The Heiress pointed out. "So it's forgiven that he's trying to crunch the assignment."
The next lesson is DEMEANOR. But Jaune wasn't listening, as he's busy drawing a picture of Blake with a realistic cat head hissing as it is being squirted by a spray bottle. Blake smacks Jaune's hand with the pointer, demanding he pay attention as the Scout winced in pain.
Some of the Inner Circle chuckled at the drawing, only to be silenced by Taurus' glair.
Jaune can be seen reading a book titled "Pick-up lines for fast food junkies" with a can of Bonk on the table. Jump cut to the future where piles of books are accumulating around him as he clenches a pencil with his teeth. More cans of Bonk litter the room as he's now reading a book titled "Dating Nice Girls". Another jump cut, and the pile of books has been turned into a makeshift throne, which Jaune, who has the Bonk Boy on, reclines in it with a more confident expression on his face.
"Talk about dedication." Mercury said in surprise. Secretly rooting for his rival's victory.
Jaune is back at the banquet table, and he extends his pinkie finger out as he holds the chicken. Later, he can be seen kissing the dummy by the hand as Blake watches. Finally, he successfully danced with the dummy, ending the dance with a dip. He looks up at Blake while holding the dummy's back with one hand as the Spy nods in approval. Jaune smiles then immediately looks back at the dummy as its head pops off.
"Fearless Leader got this in the bag!" Nora hypes up her leader/friend.
Soon the rest of the Inner Circle are supporting Jaune's efforts. Forgetting that they were killing each other moments ago. Even the Grimm Queen herself wishes for the Scout's success, as she lost her chances at love long ago with her ex. And she's not going to watch him flub his only change up.
Training Gym: 2 hours til death.
Floodlights come to life, illuminating Jaune sitting in a classroom desk in the middle of a wrestling ring. After a brief delay, Jaune raises his hand in front of him to shield his eyes from the blinding light.
"Final Question." Blake announced from the edge of the ring. Her silhouette can be seen walking in front of the floodlights as she asks him one final question. "You have a dinner date for seven. What time do you arrive?"
"Seven. A.M. Case the restaurant, run background checks on the staff. Can the cook be trusted? If not, I got to kill him." Jaune answers while he makes a gun formation with his right hand against his head then continues. "Dispose of the body, replace him with my own guy, no later than Four-thirty."
Blake looks down at the Scout for a few seconds in thought, "You're ready." She speaks.
"Really?" Jaune asks with hope in his voice.
"No." The Spy chuckled softly. "Everything you said was insane, and we're out of time." she set a glass of liquid in front of Jaune, before declaring. "Congratulations. You're a failure."
Everyone was flabbergasted by Blake's claim. All except for Blake.
"Well, what did you expect? Who would go to such an extreme as to kill the chef before the dinner date." The Cat Faunus states.
Adam stayed silent the entire time, as he did exactly that on their first date, in that order.
"So what now? Is he going to just sit there and die a virgin?" Emerald complained as if she was in Jaune's shoes.
"Oh." The Scout tried to get up, only to bring the chair with him.
Some of the audience giggled at his fumble.
He sat back down and slid out his seat. Blake rolled her eyes and shook her head in amusement.
"I've failed, did I?" Jaune asks.
"Yes." The Spy replied grinning.
"Did I?"
"Yes."
"Did I?"
Blake, now annoyed, asks just to get to the point. "Jaune, where is this going?"
"Where it's going is I don't need you." He states, "I'll put this date on myself."
The Spy Cat, now amused. Perks her eyes up hearing such a ridiculous claim. "Yourself?"
"Yourself?" Some of the audience said in sync. Amused by the claim as well.
"That's right, Ms. Fancy Pants, myself." Jaune doubled down. "So why don't you take your little failure, roll it up sideways and…"
Blake points to the death watch on her wrist. Letting him know time is ticking with a cat-like smirk on her face.
"Okay, crap, I got to go…" the Scout quickly downs the liquor, walks off screen, but leans back to tell Blake. "Screw you though."
"Yeah! Screw you Hello Kitty!" Cinder exclaims to herself. Now invested in someone else for the first time in her life.
"Hey Blake." Weiss calls for her partner's attention. "Did you just…"
"Use reverse psychology by telling him he's a failure, causing him to call Velvet over for a date with zero hesitation, out of spite." Blake finishes the Heiress sentence. "Yes. Yes I did."
Weiss smiles, liking her way of thinking. "Oh that's devious."
Jaune walks by an alarm labeled, "IN CASE OF BRIEFCASE THEFT, PUSH BUTTON", with a sticky note that said, "Emergency Only! -Scarlatina". As he does so, he turns around, casually hits the button with his fist, and points at Blake as he walks away as klaxon starts going off and red alarm lights begin flashing.
"That's one way to call someone over." Glynda complimented his ingenuity, "Normally I don't appreciate students abusing the alarm system not for its intended use. But considering you're on a tight schedule, I'll let it slide just this once."
Weiss' Lab: 1 hour til death.
The scene transitions toward Ruby and Weiss with the klaxon still blaring, as they're still hard at work experimenting with the teleporters.
"Come on, Sis. Please tell me you found a cure." Yang said with concern. Not wanting to watch her sister die permanently.
"It's all up to you now Weiss. Your team is counting on you." Winter said, pretty much the same.
"Y'all Ready?" Ruby calls out to Weiss, ready for the next step.
"Ready!"
The Engineer picks up a loaf of heavily infected bread. The Tumors are visibly outside the loaf. She sniffs it briefly, then recoils backwards in disgust.
Some of the audience got goosebumps and felt shivers down their spine, only imagining how disgusting it smells.
She then places it on the teleporter entrance, and it disappears in a flash of light. A second later, it reappears at the exit over by Weiss, as it begins to chatter loudly, squirming in place.
"Ooh!" Weiss leaned forward in interest as she took a closer look.
"Is it just me or did that-" Jaune was about to ask before.
The loaf of bread roared as it came to life, showing it toothy maw as Weiss screams in fear. The sentient loaf then attacked the Mad Doctor by jumping onto her shoulder, biting as hard as it could as she tried to pry it off.
Everyone was taken aback, even the Grimm Queen herself. Never once in their lives did they expect a mass of carbs to become a ferocious beast.
"Holy Hell!"
"Oh My Gods!"
"Ren! Hold Me!"
"What Is That Thing!"
"Weiss! Nooo!"
"Aw hell!" Ruby exclaims as ran to help Weiss as her scream echoes to the next scene.
Cut to Miss Scarlatina making her way to the base on a moped. A body bag and shovel can be seen strapped to the back of the scooter as she ramps off the wooden bush and flies right through the curtain. A look of determination can be seen on her face as her bunny ears sticking out her helmet, waving in the wind.
"AWW! That helmet looks cute on you." Coco complemented Velvet. Forgetting about the killer loaf.
Fortress Base: 40 minutes til death.
Velvet comes to a stop outside a steel plate door and hops off the moped, shotgun in hand. As she walks towards the door, the scooter falls over onto its side. She briefly turns toward the scooter as if she was going to set it back upright, but instead she continues towards the door.
"Aww. not again." Velvet said disappointed. Remembering all those times she keeps forgetting to deploy the kickstand, causing her moped to fall over and spill all her contents all over the parking lot.
The Bunny Faunus places her back against the wall left to the door and glances upward briefly. "You're ready. Alright." She motivates herself as she pumps her shotgun, and is about to kick down the door, only for Jaune to open it for her.
"Miss Scarlatina. What an unexpected surprise." Jaune said so casually with a smoking pipe in his hand, leaning against the frame.
"They took the briefcase…" The Bunny Faunus took a breath, "Don't worry, we can fix this." She pushes past Jaune, who follows her. "We'll get it back, and the Administrator never has to know."
"As much as I want to watch Jaune attempt to get it with Velvet. I still can't stop thinking about that killer loaf." Neptune said, trying to forget about it, while wishing Weiss is okay.
"Who is this Administrator anyway?" Qrow asks after taking a sip from his flask. "I assume who this bunny girl is working for?"
"You'll be correct." The Temp Host answers, wiping salt and butter off his hands with a napkin. "I cannot tell you who it is yet. Just that the Administrator monitors everything that goes on between the two brothers, and that Velvet assists with all the heavy lifting to make sure the war goes on smoothly."
A security camera tracks their movements in the background as Velvet adjusts her glasses.
"You look. You look… Ahhhh." Jaune tries to come up with a word to describe the Bunny Faunus but is coming up short.
Cutting over to the security room. Blake, Nora, and Pyrrha are watching the pair through the monitors.
"Drunk!" Nora attempted to finish Jaune's description, and failed.
"Round! Soft! No, Round!" Pyrrha added, not faring any better.
"Blurry!" Nora tries again.
At this point, Blake shook her head, lowered her eyes, and brought her fingers on her temple in annoyance.
"You guys aren't helping." Blake states to the two girls.
Nora and Pyrrha realize as much as they have a crush on Ren and Jaune respectfully. They couldn't come up with a simple date to save their lives.[5]
Meanwhile, the rest of the audience attempt to finish Jaune's complement as well.
"Pretty!" Ruby suggested.
"Powerful!" Cinder added.
"Menacing!" Tyrian tosses in his two lien. Only to get some weird looks.
"Ravishing." Salem said calmly.
"Ravishing." Jaune found the word.
"Uh huh. You too." Velvet replies, not paying attention while working on the alarm system.
Back in the security room, Blake looked up amused as it returned to the pair.
Most of the Inner Circle looked over at Salem in surprise as she said, "I may be the Queen of all Grimm, but I had my fair share of dates in my youth."
"Hold on. That's the briefcase right there." said the Bunny Faunus, now looking at the monitor showing that the intelligence is still there. "Jaune, you…" She turns to the Scout to berate him, only to notice something off the corner of her eye. "Are you having a prom?"
The room behind them was soon revealed, decorated with ribbon, balloons, streamers, and various theme decorations while rocking jazz music plays. Archimedes can be seen in a birdcage as a disco ball spins from the ceiling.
"Got to say. Your decorating skills are top notch." Coco complemented Jaune.
The fearless Leader just rubs the back of his head. "Well I have a lot of sisters, so I had to get creative when it comes to setting up their themed birthday parties and quinceaneras."
"I wished you told us sooner. You could have helped us with the decorating plans for the Dance." Yang pointed out the time that CFVY was gone longer than expected. So Team RWBY was in charge of setting up for the event.
"Yeah. Nah. Yeah ah, Well, the… Yeah, the thing is…" Jaune tries to explain the situation, but is fumbling with his words.
Back at the Security room once more. The spectators are just watching with mixed expressions. Blake looked worried, fearing that Jaune might blow it. Nora looks concerned, and Pyrrha just grins, leaning her head on the head rest.
Suddenly Ruby burst through the door behind them with a smile on her face.
"Guys! Hey fellas, listen!" The Engineer calls out bearing great news. "It's just bread that gets tumors."
"It's not even tumors." Weiss clarifies as she appears from behind, holding a jar containing the sentient loaf from earlier. "It's some form of self-aware beauty mark that only metastasizes in an environment of pure wheat. Here, watch this." She shakes the jar, irritating the specimen inside. "Oh look. It hates me so much." She said as the bread creature attempted to bite her. Pyrrha leans in for a closer look as the creature flips itself in the jar and gnaws its teeth at the bottom of the container.
"So we're not infected! Hooray!" Ruby Cheered.
"Whoooooo!" Nora joins in as well.
Soon everyone else started celebrating. Even the Inner Circle since it involves them as well.
"Alright. Alright. Calm down everyone." Glynda said with her iconic straight face. Secretly happy that none of her students are dying today. "We still have the date with Miss Scarlatina to deal with. And I do apologize if I sounded rude Mr. Arc, but it sounds like you're fumbling it."
Ruby then places her arms on Weiss' and Pyrrha's shoulders, "So we're fine. As long as nobody teleports any bread." she said laughing.
The Invincible Girl then just remembered something about her counterpart as she says. "Wait…"
"Question." Pyrrha asks Ruby.
"What's your question, Pyrrha?"
"I teleported bread."
Soon realization struck the rest of the audience, as they're reminded of what the Team Fortress Soldier was planning at the start.
"What?" all joy left the Engineer upon this information.
"You told me to."
"And I'm already regretting telling you that." Ruby said, with a bit of panic and regret.
"Well to be fair. You didn't know it would bring them to life, and you thought you were dying." Yang attempted to calm down her sister by justifying her actions.
"If that loaf of abomination is the result of a controlled teleportation environment. What would happen if one were to abuse the teleporter?" Dr. Watt hypothesis. Causing everyone to think the same thing.
"How… much…?" Ruby asks threateningly, as Weiss stares in horror behind her.
Pyrrha leans back. "I have done nothing but teleport bread for three days."
Weiss throws the jar containing the sentient loaf to the side, shattering it as she grabs Pyrrha by the collar. "WHERE?! Where have you been sending it?!"
An ominous rumble shakes the entire base as it cuts over to Jaune's bad attempt to hook up with Velvet, as the "date" is falling apart.
A wave of dread swept over everyone, as they're now concerned about their safety. Even Salem is worried for the two. Which is strange for her since she hasn't had concern for another person's well being ever since she became the Queen of Grimm.
"Jaune. I get one day off a year." Velvet specifies in frustration to the Scout. "And you wasted it on… this!" She gestures to everything in the room. "Goodbye."
Before she left, Jaune stops her as a last ditch effort to salvage the so-called date. "Wait! Wait! Wait! Ah…" he walks over to the door that has a piece of paper taped on that reads "Dining Area". "Why don't we discuss it over dinner?"
Jaune opens the door to reveal the maw of a giant bread monster as it roars, catching both their attention.
"What the hell is that?!" Velvet exclaimed, as the monster burst through the wall destroying the base.
Jaune grabbed Velvet by the arm and pulled her out of the way just before she became bread food. They both ran out the room dodging the monster's massive tentacles, as well as Archimedes who broke out its birdcage and is now following them. The Monster followed them out onto the balcony by crashing through another wall, cornering them. Archimedes tried to fly away only to be eaten by the massive loaf.
"Birdie, No!" Ruby cried out.
"ARCHIMEDES!" Weiss screamed for her pet bird.
"Holy cow it's huge!" Sun exclaimed.
"My word! What a monster." Prof. Port said in surprise. "Never had I seen a creature so big that isn't a Grimm."
"All that from a simple loaf of bread." Dr. Watt said to himself.
"Fearless Leader is going to alright. Right?" Nora asks the Doctor. "Can't he just respawn in case he dies?"
"Unfortunately. The Mercs disconnected themself from the respawn machine in case they failed to find a cure." Dr. Stirling explained. "And if they die now, they can't be hooked up to the machine again. The Brothers had tried many times, and they all failed. Once you died disconnected, your dead for good."
This frightens the students hearing that at this moment, Jaune could be dead permanently.
The Wooden platform supports began to crack and buckle under the monster's weight. Jaune and Velvet looked down as the floor started to give way, as a jolt made them lose their footing. Weakened, the entire balcony collapses, taking the trio down with them, as Velvet loses her helmet and shotgun on the way down.
Jaune platforms himself down to safety, bouncing off the bread monster and lands on his feet. He grabbed a piece of twisted metal as a makeshift weapon. "Miss Scarlatina Run!" He shouted to the Bunny Faunus.
Velvet did just that. She picks herself up and darts to the open blast door as Jaune fends off the monster. She pressed herself against a red payload cart stationed at the otherside of the doors, as Yang, Weiss, and Penny rushed in to aid her and Jaune.
"Help has just arrived!" Yang announced.
Yang and Weiss paused and looked at the massive bread monster with fear in their eyes.
"NOW! DOCTOR!" Yang ordered, as she turned to look at Weiss.
On cue, Weiss latches her Medi Gun to Heavy Weapons Gal and activates the charge. Her pack sparks, transferring through the beam and lighting up Yang into her UberCharged form. Yang then begins mowing down the beast with her trusty Sasha, as Penny spews fire all over its body, making it scream in pain. A tentacle slams into the rocky cliff face, causing rubble to fall on top of Yang, only for her to shake it off.
"It seems I've upgraded my Medi Gun the last time I saw it used." Weiss pointed out.
The Doctor nods, "After the first UberCharge was used. The prototype broked, so Weiss made a brand new one from scratch, so it could be capable of activating Uber multiple times. She still got the old Quick-Fix working again, but it can only heal fast rather than make one invincible."
As Scarlatina watches the battle. She steps forward and looks around to find something that would aid them. She turns around to see the Payload with the words "DANGER: BOMB" spray-painted onto it. The Bunny Faunus smiles.
"This will help." Velvet said to herself.
"Looks like HunnyBun has an idea," said Coco.
As the battle rages on. Penny steps on one of the creature's tentacles, drawing it attrition. The Bread Monster charged forth only to get a mouthful of flames.
"Hell yeah, Penny! Burn that bread!" Nora cheers the Android Girl on.
The beast screams in pain as Jaune dodges and jumps on its tentacle, hitting them with the makeshift weapon. Soon the rest of the Mercs arrive with Ruby setting up a level two sentry, and Nora charging in with her grenade launcher at the ready.
Velvet opens up the panel to the detonation system on the back of the payload, as a mess of wires spill out of it. Meanwhile Jaune got close and embedded his weapon to the side of the beast's mouth. The massive monster didn't appreciate it and grabbed him with its tentacle, swinging him around in the air.
Ren arriving at the scene notices his teammate in trouble. He aims his rifle at the tentacle holding the Scout and takes the shot. The tentacle bleeds green as it loses its grasp on Jaune, causing him to free fall onto Nora.
"What a shot!" Jaune said in surprise. "Thank you by the way."
"You're welcome." Ren accepts the thanks.
Jaune gets back up and is about to get back in, only for something to grab his shirt. It was Blake as she decloaks next to him.
"I think it's going pretty well." Said Blake as a loud explosion went off. "Now go." She orders the Scout to accompany Miss Scarlatina as she runs into battle.
"I honestly don't know how you salvage it at this point. But go ahead I guess." Weiss commented. Completely used to all this insanity.
"Hey, Miss Scarlatina." Jaune ran up to her, "Oh, I am so sorry."
"Dust, Jaune, what for?" Velvet not having it. "Pressing the one button you're not supposed to press? Do you have any idea what's in a briefcase that…" she stops herself mid rant when she notices the death watch. "Oh! Oh! Give me your watch!"
"Yeah. exactly. See, that is where it all starts." He said as he handed over the watch, then he realized what he said didn't make sense. "No, actually wait…"
Jaune was interrupted by Pyrrha screaming as she flew into the hanger and onto the floor.
"Ha! Ha! Ha! I teleported bread!" Pyrrha proudly declares as a tentacle grabs her by the leg and sends her flying again.
"Well… At least I'm having fun." Pyrrha trying to gloss over the fact that this is her fault.
Pyrrha landed onto a pile of broken lumber next to Ren as a tentacle grabbed his rifle by the barrel. The two had a tug of war till the beast tossed the Sniper across the battlefield, losing his rifle. He tumbled through the gravel briefly before getting back up onto his feet and taking out his kukri. He's about to rush forward to attack the monster, but pause as the payload trundles in front of him, being pushed by Velvet and Jaune.
"So that brings me to the point of the story, which I like you, and you should possibly be sitting for this-" Jaune tries to explain his situation while pushing the cart with his back. But he's rambling as Velvet is not paying attention.
"Wow. you're terrible at telling stories aren't you Vomit Boy." Yang criticized.
Jaune rubs the back of his head. "My sisters always say that I have a bad habit of rambling on and never get to the point."
"Guys! Close the blast doors!" Miss Scarlatina orders, interrupting Jaune.
Ruby nods, abandoning her level three Sentry as she and the rest of the mercs retreat to the hanger.
"Miss Scarlatina. Look, my last few hours I just wanted-" Jaune was interrupted again by the massive bread monster, as it picks up the payload like it's a toy.
"Come on!" Yang shouted, as she kept the doors open with her pure strength.
"Um. Nevermind!"
"Run!"
"Yeah! Explain it, AFTER dealing with that abomination!" Weiss yelled in frustration.
Jaune and Velvet book it to the blast doors, only to get cut off by the payload being thrown by the monster. The impact knocked Yang back, causing the doors to be closed completely. Trapping the two between the bomb and the bread beast.
"Now that's just great." Mercury said sarcastically. "If the killer loaf of bread does not finish them off, the bomb going off will certainly will."
"Oh Dust!" Jaune exclaimed as the killer loaf slowly approached.
After the two dodged a tentacle strike. The massive monster roared revealing Archimedes sitting inside its mouth, completely unharmed. The duo watched as Weiss' bird flew out the monster's mouth and away to safety.
Everyone was surprised to see the dove still alive.
"Archimedes! He's alive!" Weiss yelled out with tears of joy in her voice.
"Of course!" Dr. Watt Said, as his voice raised. "Despite the size and mutations, the thing is still a massive loaf of gluten."
"Which means…?" Mercury asks, not getting it.
"It has no digestive system!" Emerald figured it out. "And if they're fast enough, they can take shelter within the beast."
"Then they better hurry. There's not much time left on the clock." Adam pointed out to the makeshift timer, showing it about to go off in seconds.
The Students and Staff of Beacon stared at the Inner Circle in confusion. Wondering why they're concerned with Velvet and Jaune.
Both The Scout and Miss Scarlatina held hands, and looked each other in the eyes, knowing what they had to do. The tentacle slams behind them, bringing them back to reality as Velvet let out a yelp. Jaune grabs a hold of her, and makes use of the dance moves he learned from Blake, keeping her safe from harm.
Blake is quite proud of Jaune for that. Even Velvet blushed for being held.
They stop as he holds her up and looks at her. She looks back at him for a few moments, then shoots an oncoming tentacle with her derringer. Jaune twirls her back to her and the two start running.
The timer counts down to two seconds as Jaune and Velvet run towards the bread beast as the Bunny Faunus lets out a yelp. One second remaining, and the two jumped into the monster's maw screaming as the mouth closed on top of them. In a bright flash of light, the bomb goes off, engulfing the massive monster in the blast. Then everything went dark.
The room went silent as everyone sat with anticipation, wondering what had happened to the two. Even Yang missed out on a toast pun, worrying about Vomit Boy's well being.
A sound of a lighter flicking on as Jaune lights up the room with his off hand, revealing both Jaune and Velvet pressed against each other inside the killer loaf.
Jaune groans in pain before asking "Ah… Miss Scarlatina, you alright?"
The Bunny Faunus opens her eyes. "I can't feel anything below my neck." She said in a bit of panic.
"Oh Dust…"
"Oh. Now I can feel it. Ow. Ow." Velvet starts groaning.
The Audience sighs in relief now knowing that the two are okay.
"At least I'm not paralyzed." The Bunny Faunus sighs.
"Oh Dust, I am so sorry. This is…" Jaune tries to apologize but.
"That was so much fun." Velvet interrupts with much enthusiasm.
"Wait what?" Jaune and many others said with much confusion.
"You're not mad?" The Scout asks with much confusion as his counterpart.
"I was furious." Velvet clarifies before continuing. "Oh my Dust, you set off the briefcase alarm, and you were having a prom for some reason. But then there was this monster and we shot it and we built a bomb and I think my legs' broken. Can we do that again?" she asks high on adrenaline.
"Yeah, sure!" Jaune smiles, then it quickly turns into a frown as he remembers about his condition. "Wait, nah. We can't. I'm going to be dead for good."
"Wait, what?" It was now Velvet's turn to be confused.
"Yeah, about that." Pyrrha speaks up.
Pyrrha's head pops up as she was in the monster the whole time to tell Jaune something important. "Good news! We're not dying! We are going to live forever!"
"I didn't say that!" Weiss corrected Pyrrha as Yang lifted up the monster's maw, shedding light on all three inside the beast. "I just said we're not filled with tumors!"
"Oh thank Dust." Jaune relaxes his head and chuckles. "So ya Miss Scarlatina. I guess it's a date."
"Actually this was my only day off this year." Velvet said disappointed.
"Oh."
"Oh, but you can ride along with me on some jobs." She brings out her flip notebook.
The camera slowly pulls back to reveal the body of the monster, which now lays motionless. Ruby and Weiss are seen at the bottom of the shot discussing what to do with it. Blake flicks open her disguise kit, plucks a cigarette out of it, then snaps it closed again. Yang grabs one of the detached tentacles and heaves it off to one side, then walks over to Nora, who is carrying a case full of drinks under her arm. She opens a bottle with her mouth since it's going to be a long night cleaning up. Ren is on the backside of the monster, sharpening his Kukri with a whetstone. As the camera pulls back farther, Penny can be seen coming into the shot, who has the small bread monster darting around his legs like a puppy as they try to keep track of it.
"Tomorrow, I'm belt sanding the finder prints off a pile of corpses." Velvet listed.
"Ah, No." Jaune denied in disgust.
"Oh. You can help me jank the molars out of a box full of heads."
"No to that."
"Well, on friday I have to Kill someone who pressed a briefcase alarm button and… oh." The Bunny Faunus then realized. "You're already going to be at that one."
And with that, the film ends.
"Well, Vomit Boy." Said Yang. "Despite everything that happened, I say this date was a huge success."
"Minus the fact that Velvet is going to kill him friday." The Heiress pointed out.
"Sorry about that." Velvet apologies.
Nora just dismisses Weiss and Velvet, "Jaune would have reconnected to the Respawn Machine by then... Right?"
Author's Closing Notes: Now that I've covered most of the official TF2 content (I'm saving MVM for later), I'll start covering Fan-Content. If you want to know the next chapter I'm covering, here's a hint. (It involves a grill and a toaster.)
I had a hard time wrapping my head around Velvet's personality, since RoosterTeeth would prefer to focus on spectacles and fights rather than focus on their characters. I originally was going to have Ciel as Miss Pauline before realizing I knew nothing about her character. She was in one or maybe two scenes and was never seen again. But that's in the past.
See you next chapter. And Don't forget to post a review of your favorite part. (I enjoy reading them when I'm on break at work.) Chow!
Author's Footnotes
[1]-Imagine Yang making the Chibi Pyrrha face Meme, mixing with TF2 Gentlemen (but with sandviches) Meme.
[2]-If RoosterTeeth hadn't killed off Penny (twice). I would Imagine her hanging out with her friends spending their last moments together before their passing. Then shut herself down permanently to join her friends in the afterlife.
[3]-I wish that I had done this running joke sooner. (Better late than never.)
[4]-Cinder now has a bucket friend. (Emerald might become jealous.)
[5]-Pyrrha and Nora most likely knows more about fighting than asking boys out.
Cast
Velvet as Miss Pauling