19: Mordred Pendragon

"...My son?"

"Mm! That's what mother said! Apparently she went and made me as a clone of you, in order to destroy you. Buuuut~! Mother totally failed to account for my own free will, and I wound up deciding to follow you instead!"

"I see. That is good to hear. Though, I already knew about your relation to Morgan. Gawain, Agravain, Gareth - at some point, each of them came to warn me that you were a weapon of hers. They will be glad to hear you finally came clean."

"Heh... so you already knew, huh? As expected of the perfect King of Knights, I guess… But, Mother's not the important part! You know how all those stuffy nobles have been whining about you not producing an heir? Well, since I'm actually your son-!"

"No."

"...What?"

"No. You could not possibly be the heir of Britain."

"But… I'm… I'm one of your strongest knights! Lancelot and Gawain aside, and discounting Galahad, since he's gone… there's no one better than me! And I'm loyal! You know I'm loyal! Just how many rebel armies have I crushed for your sake!? So..!"

"Your strength as a knight is irrelevant. Someone like you could never be the king that Britain needs. That is all there is to it."

"You won't recognize me as your son? That's your answer, King of Knights!?"

(He says nothing. He simply turns, and walks away.)

"I was happy just being in your shadow! But, you never turned around to face me. My King! Then, I will..!"

"I will destroy everything you represent! Arthur!"

I succeeded. Looking at the person in front of me, hearing him say those words, there's no one who could argue that I wasn't successful. I tore apart Father's kingdom, killed him, laid waste to everything he ever stood for.

And, after all of my work was done… what remained, was-!

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I was wrong." The words tumble out of my mouth, my voice quivering as tears well up in my eyes. Father's sword falls from my grasp, and I collapse to my knees.

"I will not forgive you, Mordred." He says coldly.

I can't even look at him as he approaches me. All I can do... is keep repeating meaningless apologies that won't change anything.

"I was being childish. I didn't know what I was doing. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. So… please, go back to how you were before, father-!"

I finally look up at him as I wail, tears streaming from my eyes. His eyes are yellow, instead of the green I remember, and for an instant some hope wells up, that this might possibly, somehow, be a fake like I thought.

But I ruthlessly crush that hope before it can sprout. The fighting style, and his words before… that couldn't be faked. That face, as well - too much like my own, and yet just a bit more ordered. His hair is back in a bun as usual, but the warm smile I remember so fondly isn't there. That's to be expected, of course.

The king never smiled at his enemies.

"Ah… why did I ever..?" I mumble.

"You misunderstand, Sir Mordred. I will not forgive you, because there is nothing to forgive. I hold no grudge against you for your role at Camlann." Father says, staring down at me. For a moment, my heart begins to rise - but then, I realize what he's about to say. "After all, the one at fault…"

"No! Don't say that! Please, Father, don't-!" I scream.

It's worse than I could have possibly imagined.

When I heard he was here in Fuyuki, I was overjoyed. "We can have a proper confrontation, and get angry with each other, and in the end it will devolve into a fistfight where we call each other's names loudly and in the end one of us pounds the other's face in. And it won't matter who wins, because in the end, we'll both get the catharsis where our lasting grudges are resolved."

- I thought something naive like that. How stupid. How utterly foolish of me. Because, in the end...

"The one at fault, was myself." He concludes, and my protests end with a choked sob.

...In the end, even my grudge was just a one-sided romantic delusion.

"My slothfulness was to blame. I was insufficiently prepared, and indulged in luxury - that is why Camelot fell."

"Just who the hell are you talking about!? You never rested, never faltered - the finest luxuries were brought to Camelot, but be it wine, women, or even just fancy clothes - you didn't touch a single bit of it!" I scream.

Father, you idiot! Blame anyone else! Blame Merlin, Tristan, and Kay for leaving! Blame Gawain, Gareth, Bedivere, and Agravain for not being strong enough! Blame Lancelot and myself for being traitors! But, but -! Stop trying to take all the blame for yourself!

"Mercy." Arthur says coldly, and I freeze.

"What..?" I ask, as the horror sinks in even deeper. Surely, he couldn't be…

"Mercy. Chivalry. Kindness. Comradery. Dreams." Arthur says, and then, suddenly, his boot meets my chin, sending me flying backwards until I crash into the wall of the Grail.

"...These, too, were luxuries unbefitting a king. In the end, what I ought to have done… is, without mercy, strike down every last person who dared to question my rule. The only virtue fit for a king is strength. Enough to destroy every last enemy that approaches our shores."

He catches me, and begins hauling my up the steep incline, dragging me towards the rim of the Grail. That's right, Master said that the mud inside would 'melt me if I got it on me'. I guess that would bypass Avalon's healing. He'll… kill me, if I don't fight back.

But I can't bring myself to fight anymore.

"Idiot!" someone yells.

...Down, below the Grail, being actively held back by Galahad's demi-servant, Natsuki Subaru is shouting up at us. No, at Father.

"Idiot! 'I'll just abandon all my principles and kill everyone who dissents, surely that will crush the rebellion.' - are you seriously that stupid!" He yells.

"Hmph. If you think rebellion against tyrants is some kind of historical rule, you ought to study history a bit better, Master of Chaldea. In truth, it's only ever the soft-hearted successor who is overthrown. He who gives rebels an inch will see them take a mile, but I will not give them a millimeter." Father spits.

"...I don't know a thing about the people of King Arthur's Britain. I don't know any of your knights except Mordred, and even her I've only known about a day-and-a-half." Natsuki Subaru says, almost as if boasting.

"...But. I know that if the king that I serve started behaving like that, then I would do whatever it took to get her off of the throne! Because, when you're backed into the corner, when you feel alone, when you feel like the only path forwards is to abandon your moral compass and become some kind of monster-!"

He breathes in.

"-That's when the people that love you are supposed to step in and make you stop!"

Ah.

That's right. I'd almost forgotten.

The reason that I wanted to be king in the first place. That is..!

I kick my way free of Father's grip, rocketing backwards with a Mana Burst, in order to recover my dropped sword.

{Thanks, Master.} I say telepathically. {...That put things in perspective, just a bit.}

{Well, that's good. I was basically just parroting something a friend told me a while back, but I'm glad it helped you out.} he says, and over next to Shielder I can see him scratching his arm nervously.

Arthur lands a few meters away from me. "So you've got some fight left in you after all. No matter. How much longer can Avalon function like that? Five minutes? Ten? You only held it for so long back then before hiding it, after all. And once you run out of time."

"Yeah, yeah, you'll kick my ass. I get it." I say, smile sliding back onto my face. "But before we resume, there's something I wanna confirm."

"And that is?"

"If the only thing a king needs is power, then… if- no, when I beat you, that means I'm the better king. By your own logic, you've gotta accept me." I say, enjoying the way his emotionless face is just barely twitching into an angry scowl.

"You will not defeat me. Don't waste your last words on such meaningless things." Father says, barely repressed anger leaking into his voice.

"I'll take that as a yes, then." I reply, smirking. "And, one more thing."

"You're only wasting the time you have left with Avalon. But go ahead."

"I'm sorry. Back then, at Camlann, I was wrong." It needs to be said. I need to properly say my piece.

"As I said, your apology is meaningless. I don't-"

"That is, I said the wrong thing. Back then, I said, 'I hate you'. But, what I should have said was-!" I point my sword at him, smile finally sinking into a melancholy, bittersweet thing.

"I will, definitely, save you."

A/N:

Who's this sliding in just as Sunday is barely more than a technicality!?

It's me! Xorn! Your favorite(?) late-night procrastinating author!

What was meant to be a single chapter has been split into two. Next chapter, tentatively titled "Clarent", will also be from Mo-san's perspective.

Hopefully will be finished Wednesday or earlier.

Review responses:

stormsyaf said:

I don't know why but your subaru death doesn't feel as bad and suffering as in the novel. It might probably because the novel has much more details

Yeah I kinda skimmed through a lot of the deaths. I don't have quite the same level of sadism as Tappei.

DemonRaily said:

I am with saber that she kind of failed as a king, but it's all the opposite reasons then she thinks.

She learned all the wrong lessons in life to a point I suspect Merlin set it up in a way that her rule would be really limited in time and would reach a bad end. No wonder he was locked away until the end of the world, makes more sense than for him just being sleazy.

I don't think that's ever implied in any of the sources I've seen. Though yeah merlin was not necessarily a purely good influence on Artoria. In Garden of Avalon, Kay gets mad at Merlin for what his teaching did to her.

SING MY ANGEL SING said:

Subaru should always have loli spirit to follow him in his travels. With that in mind, I vote for him to summon Abby since Abby is best daughter and also because Foreigner shenanigans.

Abby can't be summoned pre salem because then Subaru could just leave to Lugnica early. To be clear, the "gentleman who travels through space and time" that Zel referenced in chapter 4 was Carter. The silver keys are Subaru's ticket home.

Also, Abby doesn't exist on the throne as a foreigner pre-salem I don't think.

Guest said:

Since Command Spells just throw a bunch of mana at a target until something happens, could Subaru use Command Spells between Singularities to forcibly accelerate the development of his Authorities? Or would he just die (poor guy). Also, could Subaru kill Servants with his Invisible Providence? (maybe phase through them and do a rip off Curse Arm Zabaniya, or just lobotomize them with a punch to the brain)

Authorities don't run off mana, so throwing mana at them doesn't do anything. Foricibly accelerate growth, maybe, but doing such a thing would probably just result in Bad Things.