47: A bit too close.

"-And that sums up everything we know about what's going on." I conclude, resting my back against the carriage bench.

Of course, the mandatory exposition dump hadn't happened on the spot. With Dracula, Dark Jeanne, and that other guy on our tail, the best option was naturally to load up into our new Allies' transportation and make our escape at top speed.

At the moment, with the countryside rushing by in a flat smear of green and blue, I can't help but reminisce about the dragon carriages back home. Hell, with Mordred keeping watch from the roof, I can't help but think back to a certain other noisy blond who refused to sit still.

"...I see. We had already learned that France was in terrible danger, but to think that Demons were involved as well!" Marie frowns for a few moments, before her face immediately brightens up, and she seizes Jeanne's hands, clasping them in her own. "Well, it's lucky we have you then, right? Saint Jeanne d'Arc, the perfect hero to save France from the schemes of Hell!"

"Eh? No, no, I'm really not that much of a Saint…" Jeanne protests as Marie leans closer and closer into her face - she's one of those super affectionate, doesn't-care-about-personal-space types, huh?

I'm in danger. I'm in so much danger here it's not even funny.

"That's nice and all, but we've given you information, so you ought to reciprocate, right?" The Director interrupts from the holographic display.

"Ah, she's back. Did you figure out what was up with those other singularities?" I ask.

"No, I was pulled back to you guys because someone decided to charge into danger half-cocked again!" Olga Marie growls. "But we'll delay your punishment until later. For now-!"

"'I showed you mine, so you show me yours', is that it?" Amadeus says with a smirk.

"Exactly." Olga responds, completely serious.

…

Then her brain cells make the connection, and the Director turns into a tomato. "No! I meant no! Th-th-that's not what I was going to ask!"

"Okay, we'll keep our secrets." The Caster's smile grows.

"Yes! I meant yes! I want to know what you know!" She stammers, and his grin turns predatory.

"Then I guess I've got no choice but to bare everything, so to speak!~" Amadeus laughs.

"N-no! Wait!" Olga covers her eyes.

"Oh, she's fun." He chuckles.

"Amadeus, don't be rude." Marie slaps the back of his head.

"Fine, fine, I'll stop my teasing. As far as information goes, everything we know was more or less eclipsed by what you guys said." He shrugs. "I'm sure it's unsatisfying, but that's how the cookie crumbles."

"At the very least, you can share your capabilities, right?" Mash interjects.

"Well you've already seen my lovely horse!" Marie says. "Isn't my [Guillotine Breaker] gorgeous?"

Yeah, it's definitely pretty, and fast…" I say, leaving the question of 'does it do anything else?' unasked.

"It's an A-ranked anti-army Noble Phantasm that traps Maria's enemies in crystal and breaks them to pieces!" Mozart says with a grin.

"...Pardon?" No, seriously, what?

"Somehow I got a Noble Phantasm that incorporates the metaphysical strength of the entire French Monarchy! Vive la France, everyone!" The queen claps and smiles.

"I… see?" I turn to Mozart again. "So do you have some kind of super duper sonic blast attack, then?"

"Oh, no, I'm useless." He waves his hand dismissively. "I'm just a normal person who plays music. Of course, I've also got good hearing - speaking of which, enemy incoming!"

"Wha-?" I start to ask, but then I hear it. Entering audible range, rapidly closing on us.

"-aaaAAAAHHHH!" The mad howl of the Black Knight, as he chases us down.

Around a minute passes, during which Mordred fires off around three sword lasers at the approaching Berserker, but…

{It's no use. I can't hit him at this range. He'll be close enough soon, but I bet he'll get the first shot, with that cannon of his.} The Saber says telepathically. Dammit.

"Can't this thing go any faster?" I ask desperately. "It's a Noble Phantasm, isn't it? How's he catching up with us!?"

"The carriage is mundane, unfortunately. I've applied some reinforcement to it, but I don't have [Item Construction] or anything. If we go any faster, the wheels will fall off." Mozart says.

"Reinforcement? Didn't you just say that you were a normal person?" I force a smile.

"I'm just a normal magus who plays music!" He says cheerfully.

I'm about to make a retort, but the sound of thunder drowns out my thoughts.

"Mash!"

"[Lord Chaldeas]!" Mash's shield slams against the back wall of the carriage just in time, the cannon finding its mark a moment later. The rear of the carriage is annihilated, and I can finally see him.

The same black smear as before, undistinguishable save for his gleaming red visor. In his right hand is a smoking cannon, and chained to his back is a second one. His left hand, though, is firmly gripping the side of a wild-eyed horse.

The animal is terrified. Eyes wide, foam coming from its mouth, even as blood oozes from its side where Berserker has dug his clawed fingers into its flesh. And all across its body, black fog sits, veined with glowing red lines.

"You're joking. He turned some random horse into a Noble Phantasm capable of catching up with us!?" I ask.

"AAAAAAAHHHHH!" Berserker discards his first cannon, ripping the second from his back in one clean motion.

"Like I'd let you! [Azoth Blood Arthur]!" Red light lances towards his weapon, set to pierce clean through it, except-!

"AAAAARRRRHHH!" Leaping to the side, for a moment unanchored by anything except his one-handed grip on the horse, the Black Knight pulls himself back and locks his legs around the animal's neck, hanging upside down. Mordred's shot arcs harmlessly past him, and an instant later, he fires.

"[Luminosité Éternelle]!" A glowing golden banner is planted at the edge of the carriage, and Jeanne's Noble Phantasm shields us from the blast. There's a small tearing noise, and some of the golden frill falls off of her banner.

The Berserker lets out another howl as he flips back on top of his mount, feet finding grip on top of the saddle as he stands up at full height, drawing two of the muskets tied to his waist. In a series of fluid motions, he fires and discards each gun in rapid succession, drawing a new one to replace it until all six are spent.

"Shit!" Mordred is forced to dive to the front of the carriage to avoid getting turned into swiss cheese, and Mash manages to cram her shield in the way to stop any of the shots from finding purchase within.

For a second, I dare to think he's run out of ammunition, and that we can safely take potshots at him until he catches up - and then it happens.

A twist of fate. It can't have been planned, it's too stupid for anyone to have planned it. It can't be anything other than pure, dumb, [Luck].

Among four bullets deflected by Mash's shield, two of them impact stray pebbles on the road, and ricochet back towards us, destroying both of our rear wheels. From the two bullets that sailed overhead, one bounces off a boulder, and returns to smash a front wheel.

The carriage grinds against the dust, the floor is torn out, and finally the whole thing tumbles over onto its side as Mash catches me, shielding my poor mortal body from the bulk of the crash.

For a few seconds, nothing can be seen through the cloud of dust - and then, sailing into view, braying frantically, the Berserker's horse is hurled at us, where Jeanne bats it aside, and it finally goes silent.

Clack. Clack. Clack. The sound of steel-clad feet comes closer and closer.

Slowly, a red light pierces the cloud of dust.

"Aaaaahh."

A/N:

[Protection of Fairies] was, is, and will continue to be bullshit. Lancelot is terrifying.

Technically, Knight of Owner might not be supposed to work on horses - but he used it as a weapon in the end there, so it counts I guess.