Protecting your friend is a responsibility not always easily carried

On this Earth, magic or not magic, there were a few rules that nothing could escape. One of those earthly commandments was that anything that goes up must, one day, one way or another, go down. Whether it be after only a few seconds, when the Quaffle thrown into the air is claimed back by gravity, or after a hundred years, when the power behind the enchantment would run out and finally fail.

The same was true for hope and morale. Inevitably, it would crumble someday. It could be under the weight of crushing expectations unmet, or it could be that things just don't turn out the way you want them to.

And for Vi, it happens when nothing else happens. When no voice speaks to keep this hope alive, when nothing prevents the embers from burning out. It happens when silence answers her questions, day after day.

She had met with Ekko twice since he had shown up at Vander's and turned her world inside out again, sharing an ale at the Three Broomsticks. But he never had any good news. He never had any news at all. He and Vander kept searching, looking out, going through every memory her old man could have of Silco, but so far… squat.

Caitlyn was fairly impressed that it took so long for Vi to start pacing again like an animal in a cage. She had given her a few days, a week tops, but it had been almost two months, and only now did she start losing it.

The powerlessness that Cait felt, watching Vi ruffle her own hair while sitting on her bed, halfway to ripping it out or screaming into her pillow, was suffocating, and she couldn't imagine what Vi herself was feeling then.

"What about your friend?" she asked, desperate. "The Golden Boy?"

"Jayce?"

"Yeah, Talis. He's got connections. He knows people. Maybe he can help! And his new partner! Medarda! Sounds like she's a big shot too!"

Caitlyn sighed. She hadn't spilled her friend's secret, but she had mentioned his new business partner, and it seemed Vi was paying more attention than Caitlyn had believed.

It broke her heart to hear the plea in Vi's voice, such hopelessness contained in only a few words. Seeing her switch from the smiling, warm, funny person she was most of the time to this endless pit of despair from one day to the next, one hour to the next, hurt Cait like nails on a chalkboard. Even a few children had started to ask questions about what was going on with Mrs. Lane, whom they appreciated so much.

"I… I can't do that, Vi. I'm sorry."

"Why not?"

Caitlyn did her best not to raise her voice.

"Because the last friend I asked for help was murdered for it, Vi. I can't lose… I'm sorry. I can't do it. I've got four people in my life. Father, Mother— and that's me being nice— you and Jayce. I can't lose him too, I'm sorry."

It was impossible for Vi to actually fight this argument— they both knew it— but she wanted to. Cait could see it on her face.

Vi stood up, head low, shoulders sagging, and breathed:

"Yeah, I know. Thanks anyway."

And she just left the room, back to her own, where, a few seconds later, Cait could hear her screaming into her pillow.

Even if her armor would crack and she would break down in the evenings, the poor woman was trying her best to keep on going every day as if everything was normal.

So did Caitlyn. No matter how much Vi Lane would need her, there were several hundred children counting on her for their education. And with these attacks going on, the rise of gangs like those Death Eaters, or even the Firelights, the knowledge she was supposed to transmit was even more important.

"Morning, children," she started. First class in the morning was not always the hardest. She was still not fully awake, but neither were the kids. Usually, the last one of the day, when they couldn't wait to get out and enjoy the little bit of their free time— that's when they were the worst.

"Good morning, Professor Kiramman!"

She gazed upon her little kingdom, and her heart stopped. One kid was missing from her ranks— again.

"Mr. Potter. Where is Mr. Lupin?"

The boy looked away and grunted. He seemed exhausted.

"He's feeling unwell, Professor."

"Again?"

"I don't know what to tell you, Professor. He's unwell. It's not my fault."

She was surprised by this rebuff, uncommon from the young man. He was known to be cocky, with a certain disdain for discipline and rules, but he had never been disrespectful to her. Not to her face, at least.

Caitlyn's mind started working, gears turning at full speed.

Remus Lupin had never been absent before, and now it was the second time in a few weeks' span. What had changed? Since they came back from their vacation, the schedules had changed, and now she had this class in the mornings more often than in the afternoons.

Potter had become defensive, which hinted at something to hide.

Black was keeping his eyes fixed on his book, opened to the wrong page. Pettigrew was faking getting his quill from the ground.

It had been a month since the last time he had missed a class. Well, not a month. It was exactly 29 days.

Her heart skipped a beat. They had talked about this just two weeks ago. The moon cycle— 29 days from one full moon to the next.

No, it couldn't… could it?

She closed her mouth and turned back to her desk, rummaging through her bag, looking for her calendar.

The skipped heartbeat turned into a fully frozen heart.

The day before had been a full moon. So it had been 29 days ago.

"Oh, Merlin…" she whispered to herself.

Conducting her class that day turned into quite a focus challenge. Several times, she was caught pausing between two sentences as her mind wandered, going through every possible reaction she could have. Confront the kids? Go to the Headmaster? To McGonagall? Ignore it?

Despite everything, she managed to push through, delivering perhaps her worst lesson so far, but at least delivering it nonetheless.

As soon as she was done, she rushed to the Headmaster's office, hoping to have enough time before her next class.

"A werewolf?" she asked loudly, barging into his office.

She felt like she used to when she would barge into the Head Auror's office a few years ago to complain about his lack of leadership, or knowledge, or anything, really. No door would stand between her and what she thought was the right thing.

But unlike her former boss, who would rise to scream as loud as she did, Dumbledore only raised an eyebrow.

"I beg your pardon, Professor Kiramman?"

She leaned forward on his desk, both hands firmly planted on the dark wood.

"Remus Lupin is a werewolf, isn't he?"

A brief flash of worry crossed the old man's eyes, but it was just as quickly replaced by his usual calmness.

"You are an honor to your former profession, Miss Kiramman. If all Aurors were as quick-witted as you are, well… the world would be a different place."

"No amount of compliments will make me forget the question I just asked, Headmaster."

She was angry. Not enraged, but angry and confused. Why would he allow a cursed child within these walls? And more importantly, why keep it a secret from the teaching staff?

"Is there anything that makes you think the brilliant young Mister Lupin does not deserve an education?" he asked back, as if he were reading her mind.

"Is there anything that makes you think I shouldn't be aware I have a werewolf in my class?"

The Headmaster chuckled.

"Ah, yes. The fire of youth."

Caitlyn leaned further.

"I'm not playing games, Sir. I despise feeling played and used, and it didn't work out so well last time I figured it out."

Dumbledore's voice quickly became a lot colder, tougher. She saw the battle-hardened man who had faced Grindelwald, the warrior of Gryffindor himself.

"I am not one of your suspects to be interrogated, Professor Kiramman. Would you please sit down so we can talk? As civilized people."

He opened his hand, pointing at the chair.

Frustrated, but also reminded of her position in the food chain, she obeyed. She tried to make up for her outburst.

"Lupin has been here for three years. Not a single incident was reported, no deaths or mangling. It's easy to deduce you have found a way to contain the threat while still offering Lupin the scholarship he deserves. What I cannot fathom is why, especially as the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, I was not aware of the condition of my student."

Dumbledore offered a smile in return.

"This hardly seemed like my secret to share."

"Does McGonagall know?"

Dumbledore winced.

"Minerva is aware. After all, the boy belongs to her house; she needed to know why he would be going missing from his bed every month."

"You literally brushed me off last month when I asked you about him! So is it a me-problem, then? A lack of trust, maybe?"

The old man shook his head.

"I didn't deem it necessary to burden you with this knowledge. It felt more counterproductive than anything. Plus, as I said, it is not my secret to share, and I believe I understand Mr. Lupin's feelings when he said he was not keen on seeing pity on his friends' and teachers' faces."

"One boy's feelings seem hardly in balance with everyone's safety."

"Everyone is perfectly safe, I assure you, Professor."

Caitlyn bit her lip to keep her voice low.

"Really? Have you seen Lupin's face, Professor? He seems anything but fine. And even so, me knowing is quite an increased chance of keeping everyone safe, Headmaster. There's no place for complacency when we're talking about the lives of hundreds of children."

Dumbledore darkened and chose to ignore the attack.

"It's true that his transformations have been increasingly painful and complicated. I have my suspicions this could be related to his puberty. But Madam Pomfrey and I are working diligently to make things as easy for him as we possibly can."

"And what about his friends?"

This time, Dumbledore raised his eyebrow in actual surprise.

"Potter, Black, and Pettigrew," insisted Caitlyn. "You know they know, right?"

"I…"

Well. He was stumped. That was a first.

"I didn't, no. According to Mr. Lupin, they still believe he is going to check on his ill mother."

"Then trust me on this, they know. I saw their faces when I asked about his absences. And if they pieced it together— if I did— they ought not to be the only ones."

"I will take this under consideration, then. Thank you, Professor Kiramman. You may leave."

Caitlyn had forgotten how it felt to be dismissed, and she didn't appreciate the reunion that much. Still, she thought, there were many clear differences between Dumbledore and her former boss.

"I don't want to fight, Headmaster," she explained. "I know my temper may get the better of me when I feel that something is being hidden from me, but I take my responsibilities very seriously. I only want the best for the children. Remus Lupin included."

The old wizard nodded back with a smile.

"You are a good professor, Miss Kiramman, but there is still a quite frankly terrifying Auror in you."

She couldn't help but feel this was some kind of compliment and smiled too.

"I apologize for not warning you in advance. Maybe it was ill-advised of me. I too only wanted what was best for young Mr. Lupin."

"I understand. Please let me know if I can help at any time."

She left his office with a bitter taste in her mouth, as if she had been played again…

She headed straight to the infirmary again. To hell with her class—someone needed her more than the sixth years right now.

Madam Pomfrey was nowhere in sight, but surely hovering close as she always did. Still, Caitlyn didn't need her to find Lupin. The voices of Black and Potter carried across the room as if they were the only ones in there. Matter of fact, they were.

"…not going to let you do that!" groaned the voice of Lupin.

"But the you-know-what only targets humans!"

Caitlyn pulled the curtain, surprising the four kids. Pettigrew was sitting in a chair in the corner, slightly in retreat, while Potter and Black were sitting on the bed.

"Professor Kiramman!" cried the blond kid. "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same. Shouldn't you be in class?"

"Shouldn't you, cousin Auntie?" countered Black, his cocky smile plastered under his panicked eyes.

Caitlyn murdered him with a look.

"I have neither the patience nor the mood for it today, Black."

Then her gaze shifted to Lupin. He looked worse than the month before, despite the blush of shame coloring his cheeks a little.

"Professor… I…"

"It's alright," she said. "I know."

Potter tried to play the smartass. "Know what, Professor?" But the words died in his throat when he saw the look on her face.

"I despise lies, Mr. Potter. More than anything. That's why I always wanted to be an Auror, and why I was such a good one."

Then her face relaxed.

"But I understand why you did. Protecting your friend is a responsibility not always easily carried."

Silence fell, heavy and thick, for a quick second before Sirius Black cut through it with his usual carelessness.

"It's getting worse, Professor. He's attacking himself now…"

"Sirius!" cried Lupin, horrified.

"What? She said she knows! She knows we know, and we know she knows we know, and everything 'til infinity! Now ain't no point playing around it—maybe she can help!"

Caitlyn sat down on the sheets between the two boys, in front of Lupin.

"Your secret is safe with me. I also talked to Dumbledore. It's alright. Now tell me. What happened? How is it getting worse?"

She had never heard of the werewolf curse actually worsening beyond what it already was.

The young man looked down, fiddling with his hands, spending quite some time deciding whether he should answer or not.

"I…" he finally started. "It's hard to explain. I don't remember everything, just bits and pieces… I…"

He took a deep breath.

"He really doesn't like talking about it," said Peter Pettigrew behind them. It felt like it was the first time Caitlyn had heard his voice.

"When I turn, it's always… like there's a big fire in me, and it needs to run wild. It burns. But until now, that was more or less it."

"Not anymore?"

He shook his head.

"It feels like I'm going crazy. Like I'm going to explode—if I don't do something, I'll burn alive."

He took his left hand out from under the sheets. There was a nasty bruise in the shape of a bite mark.

"I think I bit myself. It never happened before."

Caitlyn's mind raced through all the implications of this revelation, searching for a solution.

"He's going crazy in there, Professor!" complained Potter. "He's got nothing to get his attention onto, so he bites himself!"

"James!" begged Lupin, tears in the corners of his eyes. Then he turned to his teacher. "Tell them it's a stupid idea, Professor!"

The only adult in the room could barely keep up. They all shouted and bickered in front of her as if her presence was just a detail on the wall's paintings.

"Wait! Stop! What idea? What are you talking about?"

She feared the worst, and she was right to.

"You taught us last week that werewolves only attack humans, right? They leave each other in peace, don't hunt other animals. It was in your class."

"I very well remember my own curriculum, Mr. Potter, thank you."

"Then what if we become animals ourselves? Animagi!"

Her jaw went slack, and as much as she tried to close her mouth, it would reopen again. Those darn kids were a living nightmare. And yet…

"This…" she tried to find her words. She took a deep, deep breath, trying to calm her nerves and keep her composure as a teacher. "On paper, this is not the worst idea. It is an unproven theory that could go very wrong, but with everything we know about werewolves, it makes sense. However, in reality… this is, and I choose my words very carefully here, the dumbest and most reckless idea you could ever have."

Much to her disappointment and fear, she didn't see their shoulders sag, but only defiance in their eyes.

"Why?!" pushed Sirius Black.

"Well, for a start, becoming an Animagus is an incredibly difficult feat—that's why there are so few of them. It requires a certain affinity with both magic and nature that not everyone has. And the learning process is also dangerous, similar to the Apparition process. You could be stuck between forms and never be able to come back to normal. That's why you would need a skilled teacher. No, don't look at me. I am not an Animagus, and even if I was, I wouldn't do it! This is a crazy idea. Then, as I said, there is no proof that a werewolf wouldn't attack you anyway. Maybe you would still have a human scent on you. For him, sorry. And finally, each Animagus needs to be registered with the Ministry. I'm not sure having authorities keeping tabs on you while you run around with your werewolf friend would be such a great idea."

She paused to breathe and quickly realized her mistake when she saw their eyes.

"No. No, no, and no! I forbid you to do this, am I clear? I will hunt you down if I hear any of you got close to anything related to this topic. Am I being clear?"

Her voice was a very credible threat, and at least this time, the kids seemed to have picked it up.

"Yes, Professor," they mumbled.

"Thank you, Professor," added Lupin. "I kept telling them, but they won't listen."

She turned to him.

"You have good friends, Remus. Willing to help and take risks for you. This is a rare thing—don't blame them for it. But you were correct nonetheless; it was an incredibly dangerous idea. Still, I will speak to Dumbledore about the… evolution of your situation."

She stood up.

"As promised, this will stay between us. But while I imagine this is hard for you to talk about… you should also talk to the Headmaster when things like this happen. It could really be important—for you, for him, and for everyone else. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

He lowered his head.

"Yes, Professor Kiramman."

"Good. I'll let you rest. So should you, gentlemen. Go back to class."

The knocks on the door had become tradition at this point. Caitlyn knew who and what awaited her behind it. There was a time when she would jump out of bed or her desk to rush and open it. These days, not so much. She just lifted her wand and let magic do the work for her. It wasn't that she was bored of it—she could never be. It was just that she knew only heartbreak was waiting for her on the other side, waiting to get invited into her life. And for Vi, she would bear it a thousand times, and another thousand more.

But she didn't have to be excited about it.

As soon as the door opened, Vi barged in.

"Okay, look, I've been thinking about this," she said. "It's been two months already, and we got nothing."

Not more than the day before, when she had already said the exact same thing. This time, however, she had a different tone in her voice. More… resolved, for lack of a better word, and that scared Caitlyn.

"I know. I'm sorry, Vi."

"Don't. Not your fault. You asked me to trust you and Vander, and I did. But it's not working. We need something else."

Caitlyn swallowed a sigh. It was the third time this month they'd had this discussion.

"You need to be patient, Vi…" she tried.

"No! Fuck patience. I've been patient enough, Cait! It's been months since we saw her at Hogsmeade. Months! I've waited, stayed put, the smoke and mirrors like Vander said. It. Is. Not. Working! But! I might have an idea."

Caitlyn knew she did, and that didn't make her feel better.

"I know you've said you don't want to involve Jayce Talis, I get it. But I'm thinking… Your mother works at the Ministry, right? High position in the Wizengamot? She could access the real files of those incidents. Request them from the Auror department. This could give us good intel on what actually happened and help us find them. And in the meantime, I can keep putting on an act here."

Caitlyn's jaw dropped. She must have misheard.

"Wait," she said. "I've told you I don't want to involve my best friend because they might murder him too, and your answer is to involve my mother instead?"

Vi looked like a deer caught in the middle of the road and started fiddling with her hands.

"I mean… your mother is a very important person, right? I figured they couldn't try to touch someone in such high places. She can have protection and—"

"No, Vi! No! You don't understand. Grayson was an incredibly powerful witch. Better than me, more experienced than me. And a hell of a lot more gifted with her wand than my mother will ever be. And no, my mother's not protected from anything by her position! Wizengamot is a snake pit, and she's got a lot more enemies than friends. Grayson was loved by many, had many friends in and out of the Ministry, and that did not do her any good. So no, Vi. Not a single chance in hell I'm getting my mom or my dad into this."

Her voice was cold and hard, which only made Vi's go louder.

"So you won't do anything?"

"Do anything? Vi! I've been nothing but helping you for months! I'm willing to put myself at risk, but I will not be guilt-tripped for drawing the line at my loved ones! Especially when you're not even willing to go to Dumbledore!"

"You know he's just going to send her to Azkaban! Just look at what he did to his own 'friend' Grindelwald! He's not gonna think twice about sending her to prison like they did to me, if he even bothers looking for her just because I asked!"

"You really think so little of him?" screamed back Caitlyn.

"They didn't bother asking questions with me!"

"And Dumbledore is not some common low-ranked American Auror! And while I don't blindly trust the man, I really don't think he would do that!"

"I can't take that chance!"

Anger started to boil in Caitlyn's veins.

"You're okay to put a target on my own family, but you're not willing to risk your criminal sister getting caught?"

"What did you say?"

"COME ON, VI!"

She had never screamed at her so loud. Not at anyone, not even her own mother.

"Open your eyes! I'm begging you, please! She tried to kill you! Kill us! She was there with the masked men at Hogsmeade! She tried to kill Ekko's friends and maimed one for life! Stop deluding yourself! She's a criminal, and a dangerous one at that! You've got to accept it!"

Vi's steel blue eyes turned to frozen silver.

"I ain't accepting shit. Thanks for nothing, Kiramman."

She shoved the blue-haired girl out of her way and slammed the door behind her.