II.

The next several days passed in a haze for Louise, her ability to track time obscured by her body's constant desire to slip in and out of consciousness as it tried to recover the debilitating wounds it had received. Though Louise was in Ali's abode she saw little of the awkward young mage, most of her care being left to mysterious attendants whose arcane robes and strange bearing made it clear they were not hotel staff. He would only come in to check on how her recovery was progressing on rare occasion, and whenever he did visit he would never speak with Louise on anything she thought would be an important topic that warranted discussion. More than once she attempted to discuss what he required in return for, as she saw it, saving her life, but each time she broached that conversation Ali would smile sadly, and leave wordlessly.

Ali had at least granted Louise one request. She had originally asked for the return of her cellphone so that she might call Grimaud and assuage any concerns he was sure to have. Ali had denied the request but instead offered to let her write a letter to her companion. He warned her that himself and Wilmore would have to read the letter before delivering it, but assured her that outside citing the most dangerous information, anything she had to say would be allowed.

Rider had been altogether more talkative, and far less accommodating, than their affluent host. Louise was insistent on making her Servant wait at least two days before she finally relented to his interrogation.

"Can you tell me any more about that pestiferous mage who paid us that visit?"

"He is, as he stated, a representative of the de Franchi family," Louise had to think for a minute, trying to remember if she had ever actually met Leo before now. "They are one of several branch families that serve under the Saint-Hermine mage household. Saint-Hermine provides them with resources, protection, and connections, and in exchange they swear fealty to the Saint-Hermine head and serve in a multitude of capacities to the household."

"And the head of the Saint-Hermine family, that is your father, correct?" Rider had heard Louise mention him several times, but she rarely talked at length of the family patriarch.

Louise paused for several seconds before continuing. "Yes. Elzear Avitianus Saint-Hermine. His wisdom is boundless, and his judgments are absolute. Many say he is the strongest and most capable family head to exist for many many generations."

If he is so great, and so powerful, why is it his daughters are here fighting for the family honor and not he himself?" Rider could tell there were a number of things Louise wasn't telling him, and he was determined to discover as many of them as possible.

Talking about her father at too much length made Louise uneasy, but she had been the cause of their abject failure, and if Rider was willing to stay with her after all that, she felt that she could really trust him. "There are certain circumstances of my father's right now that have prevented that." Rider could hear the unease in her voice, tinged lightly with fear. "He has decided that it is best to find an heir for the family crest soon, but seemed pressed for a proper manner of deciding which of us would earn it. Many, myself included, thought Camille would simply be given the honor by right of birth." The fear of her father melted away from Louise's voice as she spoke of her sister, and a strange disappointed melancholy replaced it. "I would have been quite happy for her, it would have only made sense. I think we were both very confused by that."

"Did you confront your father about his bizarre decision?" Rider wanted to see how far he could get Louise to go.

Louise gave a start when Rider asked the question, and her tone quickly sank back into one of apprehension. "One does not... One does not question father's decisions."

"Why not? Surely if he is so wise he is willing to hear the insight of others."

"There is a maxim of the Saint-Hermine line. Perhaps you have heard me say it." Rider raised a quizzical eyebrow and bit the tips of his mustache as Louise continued. "A Saint-Hermine holds their status as a mage first, their role as a representative of the Saint-Hermine family second, and our duty to ourselves third."

"Meaning?"

"I must first consider my position as a mage and what that means. A mage is above the laws of the mundane people, and a mage has a duty to pursue knowledge and further progress towards The Ultimate End, no matter the method."

"And that is why you were willing to put the young man in harm's way." Rider, though completely disapproving of the logic, was beginning to understand.

Louise was doing her best to hide her emotions as she choked back the wave of regret she felt. "I didn't even know his name, if he had anyone to go back to, a family I robbed him of."

"What of the second part, Master?" Reassuring as it was that Louise recognized the wrong she had done, Rider needed her to move on.

"Yes. The second part." Louise collected herself as best she could as she continued. "As a member and representative of the Saint-Hermine family, I must consider how my actions reflect on the family lineage as a whole. My father was chosen to be the family head because he had advanced the furthest as a mage and was therefore the wisest and most capable." Louise looked almost ashamed as she finished the thought. "One does not question someone who has proven their superiority."

"And that was another reason you took the actions you did. You had reached the conclusion that it was how your father would have approached the situation."

"If I can be like him that means I am worthy of the honor he has bestowed on me by allowing me to compete for the family crest. Someone like me, an outsider, not an actual member of the family, would not normally be afforded such consideration." Louise's eyes looked even more melancholy as she, for what was possibly the first time, spoke honestly about her position in the family. "If I can't prove myself worthy of just being considered for the crest..."

Rider was intent on keeping Louise moving forward. "The third part. The final portion of the Saint-Hermine principle."

"We are only bound to ourselves last, after everything else. We as individuals, our desires, our personal goals, those all come after what we must accomplish as magus of the Saint-Hermine." Louise's despondency seemed to clear lightly as she dismissed her emotions with the adage. "I must focus purely on presenting myself properly as a member of the family."

"And further... the ultimate end? Is that what you said before?" Rider asked.

"Yes, that is what a mage seeks." Louise seemed confused by Rider's question.

"Pardon me for not being a practiced mage but, what exactly does that mean?"

"Oh, excuse me. The Ultimate End is the name given to the Root by the Saint-Hermine family. It is also known as the Vortex of Radix, the Akashic Records, or the base of all magic. All mages, whether they are fully aware of it or not, seek to reach the Root, so that they may comprehend all magic, all life, all truths."

"And is it your desire, Louise Saint-Hermine, to reach this end?"

"Did I not just tell you that my personal desires come last?" Louise was confused that Rider had comprehended so little of what she had spent so much time going over.

"That was not my question. Regardless of what is or should be held to the highest importance, I want to know if it is something you desire."

Louise was silent for what seemed like an eternity. She had never dared to let herself ask that sort of question. She only had the life she had due to the hospitality of her father. She owed it to him to hold his ideals as her own. And yet...

"I... I have no interest in it." Louise hung her head, as if ashamed of the words. "I see nothing to gain by my reaching the Root."

"I want to ask you a question, Master. One I have asked you before, but I need an answer." Rider looked sternly at Louise as he spoke, despite her not looking back. "Why are you here fighting in the Holy Grail War?"

Louise looked over toward Rider. No anger, no frustration, no trepidation, just guilt and sadness. "I am here, purely for myself." Tears fell from her eye once more as she admitted what she perceived as the most selfish thing in the world. "I am here to protect the life I have, the life I know, to avoid losing the only thing I have. And yet... I'm losing it anyway." She let herself weep momentarily before gathering her strength and continuing. "Most of my early memories are blurry and faint. I only know that my birth family is gone." There was the briefest flash of fire and screaming in Louise's mind as she said it, the mirage of a memory brought to the surface by her own words. "Without Elzear's... without father, I doubt I would be alive."

Rider was instantaneously at Louise's bedside as he dropped to one knee in fealty, her wounded hand in his. "Though I now understand what led you to take the actions you did, I want you to know that I still do not condone them. I do however want you to know that I trust fully in your abilities as a mage, and as my Master. I believe that you can do better, that you can be better, that you can be worthy of my calling you by that title. My Master, there is nothing you have lost that cannot be reclaimed. And if there is something we cannot get back, we shall give its loss meaning. I did not jest when I swore an oath the day we met, I am yours. And I will help you accomplish your end. Not the end of the Saint-Hermine family. Not the end of a mage. I will accomplish the goal of Louise."