Chapter Nine

The Start of Forever

Bella Swan

March 2005

I followed them blindly through the dense forest while trying my best to convince myself mentally that I could trust them long enough to convince them to let me go on my way peacefully. Alice had pulled a cellphone from her pocket and was speaking to someone on the other end of the line very quickly. It was no time at all before we jumped a small river and entered the back lawn of a massive mansion seemingly tucked into the middle of the woods.

I made a hard stop as I took in the sight of the five other vampires standing on the back patio of the house. My nerves were going haywire again, my skin crawling with anxiety, and I forced myself to take deep breaths to try to recover my sanity.

"Bella, no one is going to hurt you, I promise." The pretty boy reminded me gently and motioned for me to follow after Alice and himself.

I could only manage to nod before forcing myself to take each step in order to follow them to the house. Alice danced up the steps and into the waiting arms of one of the vampires, a wide smile on her face, and I froze again when I realized who he was.

The scars were the first obvious sign. The "S" shaped scar running through his eye and the smirking grin he had because of the scar twisting his mouth were clear confirmation to me. And he stood tall and lean just as Maria said. His wavy blond hair was tied back, exposing more crescent-shaped scars and slices along his neck...scars so much like mine. The realization that I was just feet away from the Major was enough to send me spiraling again.

I was shocked when instead of lunging at me, he smiled at me as if we were friends while he put his arm around Alice's shoulders, "Bella, glad you finally made it. Alice has been talking all of our ears off about you." He grinned, the scar at his mouth twisting his smile even further into a smirk, as he looked at Alice with an adoring look on his face.

It suddenly made sense why Maria seemed so condescending towards Alice and her coven. Alice was the Majors partner, not Maria, and she was apparently still bitter and jealous of that glaring fact. Alice being his partner is the reason the Major was no longer with Maria. If Alice's coven had somehow managed to trick the Major into believing their mind games, then how did I ever stand a chance against them? I guessed that I'd be dead within the hour.

"Alice has told us that you're afraid I'm going to take you back to Maria. That I'll decide to go back to her and drag you along with me." The Major continued to try to persuade me into false confidence with his friendly smile. "Maria's apparently told you some dangerous things about myself and my family. I can honestly tell you that none of that's going to happen. Not ever. I have no desire to see that terrible demon ever again, let alone force you and I both back into such a horrible existence. This family will not hurt you either."

"But...she said you two were so close. That you would come back and help train her army willingly." I stuttered, weary of so many calculating eyes on me.

"Absolutely not." The Major shook his head. "I'll never return to that existence. I have a life here with Alice and the Cullen's. It's a life I never could've dreamed of for myself, one I'm not giving up easily, so I'm never returning to Maria. She knows that fact."

"Archers talent." I realized the full scope of the task we had been given. I felt stupid that I hadn't seen the full picture sooner. "I was sent here with Maria's newest right hand, Archer, to convince you to join Maria again. Archers talent is mind control, well, was." I corrected myself. "She was confident in his ability to use his gift in order to convince you to return to her."

And, although I wouldn't voice the realization out loud, apparently Maria was attempting to free her old lover from the games of this coven. But, wouldn't he have, of all people, been able to sense the trap he'd fallen into? Is he possibly here on his own free will?

"What has happened to Archer?" One of the males, the other blond one that stood tall next to a kind-looking woman with caramel hair, stepped in and asked me. He seemed concerned, "Is he following you? Are you safe?"

He was concerned for me? It didn't seem like he was very worried for the safety of his own coven. He had specifically asked if I was safe, if I was being followed, and I hated myself for beginning to feel a little more at ease.

"Archers gone. Dead, actually." I stared off into the trees in an attempt to avoid their eye contact. "So, no he's not following me, and yes, I think I'm finally safe." I sighed heavily. I was feeling completely exhausted, though I knew I couldn't sleep anymore.

I had to offer them more information if I ever hoped to convince them to let me go peacefully. They had to trust they had the upper hand. "Archer and I crossed paths with a nomadic vampire. He could tell I was being held hostage somehow and ambushed Archer with me. We were able to burn him." I felt disturbed by the image I'd been so proud of, of Archers destructive hands burning at last, and felt shame for it now. I couldn't stomach that I'd had to admit such a terrible thing to this coven that hardly knew me. I was already exposing myself as a monster.

"Oh, you brave girl." The woman with the pretty caramel curls framing her face gasped.

I noticed that the blond man's hand was tight around her waist. It seemed like he was holding her back and preventing her from moving towards me. She seemed in awe of the event, but he was clearly appalled if he was keeping her far away from me. Of course he'd want his partner to stay away from the danger.

"Are you alright? Are you hurt at all?" The woman asked with her voice full of care and concern.

I was still stunned from her first sentence, since no one had ever called me brave before. Especially not for fighting and winning against an opponent. I'd often been beaten in retaliation for such a thing. And then, I had never been asked if I was hurt in the midst of the nightmare I'd lived through. It took me a long moment before I was able to respond.

"Umm...yes. Yes, I'm hurt a little." I nodded, showing them my wrist that still had very deep wounds from Archers teeth. They were taking their time to heal since I kept disturbing the wounds every time I used my wrist. "It's nothing that I can't handle, though. It's not the worst I've ever been hurt."

The woman's heartbroken eyes disturbed me deeply for some reason and I quickly looked away from her.

"Come inside and I'll have a look at it. Let's see that it's healing properly, alright?" The blond man smiled very kindly, opening the back door for everyone before motioning his partner to go ahead of him.

"Come on, it's okay." Alice smiled at me from the steps of the porch, noticing my extreme hesitation and that I hadn't moved to join the group. "Carlisle is a doctor, actually. And, lucky for you, he's a very good one."

I glanced over my shoulder apprehensively. The pretty boy was right behind me still, and he smiled at me in encouragement, so I felt I didn't have a way of escape. I had no choice but to climb the steps and follow Alice inside.

Everything was so clean. I immediately felt more self-conscious of my appearance than I had outside. My shoes were dirty from how long I'd traveled through various climates. I was glad I was wearing shoes at all, really, since I usually didn't have the mind to find any after a hunt. Maria had insisted our clothes be somewhat presentable so that we'd make a better impression on the Majors coven. I'd tried to keep them okay looking, but they had some random blood stains and had gotten torn in small places during my fight with Archer. My hair was still tied back, thankfully. I'd kept it tied up since an unfortunate fight I'd had with Abbie. She'd thrown me to the ground after a lucky shot of grabbing my hair. I had never let it happen again after. I didn't want to enter the house anymore than I already had. First, I felt I had to stay close to an escape route. Second, I didn't want to ruin or break anything on accident. I couldn't give them any reason to turn on me or decide to not let me go.

"Come sit over here, Bella, please." The blond man, who I assumed was named Carlisle from Alice's praise of him, motioned me towards a loveseat nearby. Alice joined me, sitting at my side slowly, and my skin crawled uncomfortably. I was surprised when Carlisle knelt to his knees in front of me.

Carlisle held his hands out to me, silently asking for me to put my hand in his, and I found myself unable to do so. Fears that he would just rip it off and descend upon me ran through my mind. There would be no way I could defend myself against the seven coven members and get out of the house unscathed. I couldn't find the bravery that the sweet caramel headed woman had praised me for earlier.

"Bella, you're safe with us." Carlisle offered me a kind smile, his eyes, though golden, reminded me of the depths of my fathers eyes. I felt a little safer with him after seeing the connection. "Can I take a look, please?"

I nodded and grit my teeth as I put my hand in his. My nerves were screaming at me to not trust these people in any state of weakness. My wrist was painful to even bend as Carlisle did a full examination of it.

"I see that his teeth punctured deep into the bone here." Carlisle pointed to the main joint of my wrist. "It should heal fine over some time. Just try to keep it still for a bit. If you were human and wouldn't tear through it, I might put you in a brace. But that would be silly now, wouldn't it?" He teased me, seeming as if he were a fond parent joking with a child, and I didn't know what to make of him.

After not receiving a smile or a response or whatever he was looking for from me, he stood to his feet and crossed the room to stand beside his partners chair. I felt guilty almost at not having given him any kind of response. After taking a breath, I picked a joke I thought I could manage to tell somewhat convincingly.

"I guess it's a good thing I'm not right handed then?" I tried to grin at him, and his responding smile was wide and joyful looking.

"Right handed." Alice giggled to the Major as if I were the funniest person she'd ever met. The room echoed her excitement as they laughed or smiled at the attempted joke.

My eyes had been constantly moving around the room in order to monitor everyone around me, the feeling of exposure was driving me crazy, and I noticed the blonde woman staring continuously at me. Every time my eyes swept the room, she was looking at me so intently in a way that it was making my skin crawl. I couldn't sense any malice from her, but I couldn't read her expression very well either.

I held her eye contact for a moment, trying to decipher what she was thinking, and she shifted in her chair nervously after being caught, "Sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to stare. Forgive the term, but I wasn't expecting you to be so tame."

"Tame?" I gawked, "you think I seem calm? I'm practically a wild animal compared to all of you."

"You're a newborn that's been trained to be a lethal fighter. You having a wild streak isn't surprising." She smiled teasingly. "Besides, Emmett has never really grown out of his chaotic young vampire phase and we can handle him just fine. You're a walk in the park compared to him." She winked at the massive vampire sitting beside her on the couch. His long legs were stretched out in front of him and I'd noticed his foot tapping the entire time I'd been surveying them.

The massive vampire grinned widely at the woman, "Aww, babe, that's so sweet of you to say." He laughed deeply, the sound reverberating from across the room. "Don't worry, Bella. Us wild ones gotta stick together, huh?" He winked at me.

I blinked at him, not knowing what to say or do, or if I should attempt anything at all, and he just laughed at the awkward silence I had created with my indecision.

The woman that had called me brave bristled in response to his laughter, "Emmett, do not start teasing her so soon." She warned him, the firm look of a disapproving mother clear on her face. "We are all being rude. We haven't introduced ourselves yet, but yet we're all calling her by her name." She sent a similar look of warning to the other vampires in her coven. "Bella, I'm Esme, and this is my husband, Carlisle. We think of everyone here as our children, in our own ways. You've had the pleasure of being targeted by Emmett already, lucky you." She teased. "Rosalie, or Rose as we call her mostly, is his wife and our master mechanic. You've met our Alice, and then you know some things about Jasper, but I'm hoping we can grow past that little snag. And then this is Edward," she motioned behind her to where the pretty boy sat on a piano bench, "he and Carlisle have been together the longest, actually." She smiled at the two men fondly and they grinned back at her. It was easy to see her strong influence on everyone in the room. "So, Bella, it's very nice to meet you. I hope you'll forgive the rudeness."

"Yes." I nodded quickly. "If I didn't feel a little bit like I've been kidnapped, again, then I'd probably say it's nice to meet you all too."

Emmett's booming laughter ricocheted around the room and I cringed away from the loud foreign noise.

"Emmett!" Esme chastised him.

Emmett only continued to grin, "sorry for scaring you, Bella." He apologized, seeming as genuine as possible for someone smiling like the Cheshire Cat.

"It's okay." I nodded, a little apprehensive of him still. "I'm just a little skittish being here I guess."

Esme smiled kindly again, "Bella, the others have meant it when they've said we won't hurt you. We're only wanting to help you." She swore to me. "Alice has seen you for some time now, and we've all been so worried to hear about your struggles, so we're only trying to show you that this life has the potential to be better than what you came from."

I felt the sensation of my heart sinking into my stomach, "I'm hearing you, but I don't think I understand the reason behind any of it. Alice has seen me, the terrible things I've been apart of and done, the nightmare I've been, but you want to help me?" I questioned. "I can't understand why anyone would have me around them."

"You were forced into a terrible existence full of pain, fear, and loss." The Major surprised me by speaking up. "I know, trust me, I let Maria and the wars manipulate me into becoming a version of myself that I couldn't even recognize by the end of it. I still struggle with the effects that life had on me. I, along with the others, know that you've done what you could to survive. The things you're not proud of might've been your only options to continue on. You've done something that I didn't manage to do for myself until I was nearly too far gone."

"What? What could I have possibly done that you didn't?" I growled, furious with his obvious ridicule of me. "Maria spoke of you as if you were the ideal soldier and leader! You've been the model for everyone after you. She's been creating, training, and discarding person after person until she can find someone even close to being like you!" I was on my feet suddenly, my anger not letting me stay still any longer.

As soon as I stood up, I felt as if a bucket of cold water had been poured down my neck. My fury and rage died quickly, and I almost couldn't remember why I'd been so angry in the first place. Alice guided me back to my seat and as she took my hand in hers gently, the sensation of a strange warmth began to replace the ice water.

"You have the wrong idea, Bella." Alice spoke to me sweetly, and the warmth increased. "Jasper wasn't speaking of your ability to survive or fight. When he said you'd managed to do something for yourself that he hadn't, he was talking about your determination to get out of the army with your humanity in tact. He had been so far removed from feeling any real emotion for himself, from doing what he chose to do rather than what he was forced to do, that I sometimes feared he'd never leave." Alice suddenly looked sad, an expression that didn't seem right on her face. "You were so determined to leave, to get home again, and you did it without losing yourself completely. I know you're hurting and you feel like a stranger to yourself, but it doesn't last forever. Let us help you see that, please."

I knew that I couldn't give in to the mind games, Maria had told me that, but I desperately wanted to. I wanted to believe this girl whose wide eyes made her look like she knew all of the answers. I wanted to trust the woman with the sweet smile that relaxed the room, the doctor that reminded me of my father and made me feel safe, the pretty boy who spoke to me without fear, and even the intimidating couple that liked to tease me. I wanted to be able to believe all of their words and trust their intentions. I might not ever be able to trust the Major, not until I was sure he didn't report to Maria still, but I was beginning to think I might be safe with this coven.

The Major seemed to sense my doubt and began to speak again, "Alice is right in what she said. I was almost gone and made it through. You've gotten out with so much of yourself still intact, even if you don't see it. I can see it just sitting here with you. If you can attempt to see past what you know of our kind, and believe me when I say you only know the worst of what we're capable of, then you'll be able to have a wonderful life here, Bella. Not an existence that relies on pain and death, but a true life. Life full of things you might've thought you'd never have again." The Major smiled, his grin still twisted by the scar at his mouth, but it wasn't as scary of a sight to me as before. "This is a real family. Carlisle and Esme both have become like parents to me in how they lead and love us all beyond measure. Rosalie, Emmett, and Edward are more than I could've ever asked for in siblings. Siblings, not fellow soldiers. And I can't even begin to express how much Alice has changed everything for me. If it was all a potential for me, then it's more than possible for you."

"You could have a family as well." Esme surprised me, smiling her sweet smile while her eyes held so much warmth. "If you stayed here with us, you'd have sisters and brothers who love and support you, parents who will accept you and listen to you and help anyway possible. You don't have to be alone and so terrified anymore, sweetheart."

My eyes stung and my breath hitched almost painfully in my lungs. I felt constricted and backed into some sort of sick trap. It all had to be fake, these were the mind games Maria spoke of and their attempt to lure me into false security, it had to be. People like them, so good seeming, would never want me honestly.

The only person who might want me in spite of all I'd done would be my father...but that was dangerous. I'd realized that while standing at the sign that welcomed me back home to Washington. A home I can't truly return to despite all the daydreams of it that got me through the nightmare I'd survived. I would have to make peace with that somehow.

Regardless, even if this coven was being sincere in their words and actually wanted me, I'd done too much, seen too much, and was so horrifically scarred compared to the flawless skin I saw around the room.

They were all so beautiful. Logically, I knew that vampires could be beautiful when they weren't made into scarred mangled versions of themselves. I just couldn't believe that such a large group had managed to avoid any conflict. There were no discernible scars on anyone, well, except the Major. I couldn't see mistrust in anyone's eyes. There was no sense of fear and dread hanging over the room. I wasn't forced to stay hidden in a corner behind old junk in an effort to keep myself safe. No one seemed like they were about to launch themselves across the room at me to pick a fight at any moment.

If I wanted to make peace with myself, and I did, then I'd have to face what I'd survived and deal with the fallout. I couldn't do it on my own. I knew myself enough to know that I'd probably just shut down and grieve myself to death alone somewhere. I had to come to terms with all I'd done and everything that I'd never have now. Being here with all of these kind people, even if they terrified me slightly, seemed like a good place to fight my battle with myself.

I suddenly and desperately wanted to belong somewhere in this family of vampire misfits. I had to earn a place amongst them if it took everything in me to do so.

The coven leader seemed to sense the change I'd experienced, "You're worth so much more than you think you are, Bella. We all see that worth and want to embrace it. Will you stay with us? We could teach you our diet, so you'd never have to hurt anyone again if you wish not to, and we would all love to have you apart of our family. You're very welcomed to stay."

"I don't know how to be normal." My breath hitched again, "I can't help I've been trained to be a soldier. I don't know if I'm capable of ever letting that part of me go. I'm so scared that we're too different for me to ever have a sense of belonging here." I confessed to them and hated to see their faces drop from disappointment. "But, if you're giving me this chance, a chance to try to recover myself, then I think I might be a fool to not accept it. So I'll stay."

The coven erupted into smiles and quiet celebrations. Emmett, however, barked out a laugh that made me cringe against my seat. Although the sound wasn't anything close to it, all I could hear was the loud terrible noise of a body part being broken off.

The Majors eyes landed on me in the midst of the cheer, and a gentle peaceful feeling began to creep slowly through my body as we stared each other down. I couldn't remember why I'd been so scared, but I was thankful the Major had seemed to help somehow.

In just a moment, I was perfectly fine again, and I even managed to attempt a smile as I observed the oddity of the situation around me. The coven seemed so excited that I had agreed to stay for whatever degree of permanence they'd allow me.

I knew I'd inevitably do something to oust myself as a monster. I'd do something so terrible that they'd never accept me again after it. But, for the moment, I tried to let myself believe this feeling of being wanted might last forever.