Chapter Sixteen

Dancing

Bella Swan

March 2005

Edward opened his bedroom door and motioned for me to enter ahead of him. I liked that I didn't feel as hesitant as I had the previous time. Although, I didn't know where I was supposed to go from there. Did I sit on the ground? The edge of the bed? The stool with books and music piled on it?

He seemed to sense my hesitation, because he paused after shutting the door behind him, and, after a moment, he went to the shelf he'd been filing things away at previously before sitting on the ground again.

I joined him quickly, thankful for the lack of awkwardness, and sat just a foot away from him. He seemed pleased I was comfortable enough to sit near him and not across the room along the wall. He began to pick some CDs out of his collection.

"So, Bella, I've got several CDs of various albums from different genres. Why don't we find what you like out of them so we can start your own collection?" He offered and I nodded my head. "Great, so we'll find what you like and I'll get some other albums for your shelves based off what you pick out." He smiled beautifully at me again before taking several CD's over to his sound system.

Edward loaded the disks into the player, grabbed the remote, and returned to the floor beside me.

"Here," he handed the remote to me and showed me a specific button, "press this when you want to skip to the next song and press the button below it to move to the next album. Tell me when you like something and I'll jot it down."

We had a great time and spent hours going through album after album. We both talked about the songs we liked and their lyrics as the music played. Edward seemed to be having a great time writing what I liked down. He was making a complicated looking flow chart based on the songs and bands I'd liked. It ended up being a strange mixture of music, according to Edward, but he laughed as he told me we actually had very similar tastes. Apparently we both liked alternative music quite a bit.

It was nearing two in the morning when the sound system cycled back to the first CD, and Edward took the remote from me and turned it off. As he sat down next to me again, I could tell he had something he wanted to say to me by the heavy expression on his face.

"You know, I really didn't anticipate just how much I'd like having you around." He leant forwards and told me. "It sounds awful coming out of my mouth, I know, and I don't mean it in any kind of negative way, but I am very surprised."

I smiled, "it's okay. I know you're not being mean, I didn't think you were, and I think I know what you mean. Esme and I talked some about you when she was helping me get out of my head."

Edward surprised me when he rolled his eyes and tossed his notebook aside. The heavy book hit the beside table with a loud thud, and I cringed away from the sound. Something about it was familiar.

"My meddling mother." Edward scoffed teasingly, but I wasn't really paying attention.

There was something about the sound that I wasn't able to let go of, and, as I thought about it while Edward kept talking, I recognized it.

The heavy hollow sound was just like a thick limb thudding against the concrete floor of the basement. The drop, the thunk, and the resulting stillness. It was just the same. How many limbs had I lost, some of them over and over again, in the months I'd been trapped in that basement?

A hand was suddenly on my shoulder, and I flinched away from the contact. Doing my best to shield my arm, I turned on my assailant. Edward's pretty eyes, wide and confused-seeming, were the first things I saw when I turned to attack.

"Bella?" He spoke my name and held his hands up in a clear sign of peace. "Are you alright? Did something trigger you?"

"No." I shook my head too quickly, had spoken too quickly, and I hadn't been anywhere close to being believable in my clearly defensive stance. "I'm sorry." The apology came out weak, and I sounded like I was crying again.

Edward reached his hand out slowly, so slowly, before returning his hand to my shoulder. There was no mistaking the contact as anything but entirely comforting.

"Don't apologize, Bella, please." He shook his head. "Will you tell me what triggered you? So that I won't do it again accidentally?"

"The book." I confessed. "Something about the way the book hit the table...it sounded like a severed limb hitting the concrete of the basement I was kept in."

Edward frowned in sympathy, "oh, I see. Do sounds bother you very often?"

"No, I don't think so. Only sometimes." I shrugged.

"Do sounds bother you usually when you're feeling more peaceful? When you're letting yourself relax?" He asked, but I didn't find it intrusive in any way.

I nodded immediately, "yes, nearly always. Like just now, when I was so happy sitting here with you, but the sound distracted me and then I couldn't help but spiral."

"That's actually a very normal response to trauma, Bella. It's even more normal for a newborn vampire." He smiled in encouragement at me. "There's a ton of new sensations, things you can hear much better than before, and that can be so overwhelming. You started off in an environment so loud and full of so much fear. So, when you're getting some peace and quiet, finally, it's so abnormal for your system that it sends you into a panic at times."

"That makes a lot of sense, actually." I agreed with him. "It's like my mind hasn't caught up yet. I'm trying to relax, but my mind is keeping me alert."

"Exactly. That's better than I said it." He chuckled and I smiled with him. "I don't know if you've noticed, but I can be pretty long winded sometimes." He laughed more at himself.

"I like it." I shrugged. "That's like what I was talking about earlier, I talked with Esme about your mind reading. She told me how you've struggled a lot, how lonely it's been sometimes when you have to get away to have any quiet, and I told her that you might not have to be so alone anymore with me around. I like that you can talk to me without having my thoughts echoing around your head too. It's just me."

"It's just you." He agreed.

His eyes were on the floor and, although I couldn't see them straight on, they looked so soft and warm. I couldn't help but want to find out what caused such an intense look.

"What are you thinking about?"

He smiled so widely and laughed so beautifully that I almost didn't mind that he was laughing at my very serious question.

He continued to laugh as he said, "I have never had to ask anyone that question before knowing you! Hearing you ask me that just blew my mind."

I laughed with him then, and I was entirely carefree. I wouldn't have minded if the moment lasted forever.

"So? What caused your look earlier?" I pressed him as our laughter died down. "You seemed so distant. What happened?"

"I was only thinking about one of Alice's visions she showed me is all." He answered quickly, and I knew he wasn't giving me the full details, but I wasn't going to press him after he'd been so helpful to me.

A sudden thought seemed to occur to him and he stood up from his spot, "come dance with me?" He asked and held his hands down as if to help me up.

"Seriously? I can't dance." I shook my head. "And here? What's the occasion?"

"No occasion, you don't need one to have fun with it, and I'll teach you. Come on." He smiled beautifully again and I was trapped.

I took his hands and let him unnecessarily help me up onto my feet, "okay, but you have to promise not to laugh when I fail miserably."

"Oh, you wound me." He pouted playfully at me before going to search through his music. "I'm not one to brag, well, not often, but I happen to be a very good dancer. I've taught Esme, Alice, and even Emmett successfully."

I laughed, "what about Carlisle, Rosalie, and Jasper?"

"Carlisle had quite a few years before me to learn the styles as they came along." He told me while he shuffled through various CDs until he found one he liked. "Rosalie was the daughter of a New York banker, so she had plenty of dancing experience. And Jasper, well I actually don't know how he learned, but he's probably the best in the family at any style after the 1930's. He's quite good. He and Alice take any chance they can to show off."

It sounded like a jab at his siblings, but the fond expression on his face was anything but mean. He put a lot of care into his family, however distant and quiet he might seem to any outsider.

"Now then, let's start easy, a one-step waltz." He smiled as he returned to my side.

"Here? In your room?" I gaped at him. "There's hardly any space. What if I fall into something?"

He rolled his eyes at me teasingly, "I would not be so bad a dance partner as to let you fall. But, alright, we'll go downstairs if you insist."

We went down to the living room quietly and I wondered if the downstairs was as well soundproofed as the upstairs of the house. My guess was no, at least from my previous observations and the tall ceilings, and I worried slightly that we'd be disturbing his family.

Edward moved the two couches taking up the majority of the space easily to the sides of the room. He put the CD he had chosen in the stereo on the fireplace before joining me again.

"Here, your hands go like this." He placed one of my hands on his shoulder and took the other in his own hand. "Can I put my hand at your waist?"

I nodded immediately and he grinned as he held me at my hip before continuing, "keep your posture straight, but try to roll from the ball of your foot back to your heel when you step. It'll help you move to the next step easier." He demonstrated his instructions as he gave them, and I felt a little better about my situation since I seemed to have a good teacher.

"Alright." I agreed, still slightly hesitant.

I could feel his confidence in the way he held himself, the power beneath his seemingly lean shoulders, and his energy was so infectious that my head was swimming. I didn't want to let him down in anyway by being a terrible partner.

"Are you ready?" He pressed the play button for the music from a remote in his pocket before returning his hand to my hip.

I smirked up at him, "ready as I will be. I guess."

He smiled that breathtaking look of his again, "then follow my lead."

He, patiently and slowly, led me through the steps of the dance several times until I felt fairly confident I could follow along with him. Once I was able to keep pace with him, then he started to give me tips on how to make my movements more fluid. In almost no time, we were gliding in small circles around the living room as if we were both pros.

"I can't believe I'm actually doing this and not making a fool of myself!" I laughed delightedly.

Edward laughed too, though he was more amused at my enthusiasm than anything else, "you're very good already. Very light on your feet."

He lifted me using my hip and his grip on my hand before spinning me in two quick circles. I couldn't help myself but laugh as he spun me around like I weighed nothing to him. I couldn't remember a time I'd ever felt so enthusiastically carefree.

That is, until Edward set me back on my feet with a wide smile on his face...that dropped instantly when we both spotted Carlisle and Esme standing in the doorway.

They were smiling at us like lunatics, as if we'd put on the best show they'd ever seen, and Esme even had a camera in her hands.

"Oh, please, don't let us stop you." Carlisle continued to smile as he gestured to how Edward and I were still holding each other. "You two looked like you were having fun."

"I'm so sorry if we bothered you." I apologized as I let go of Edward. "I shouldn't have been laughing so loud like that."

Esme looked so scandalized that I thought her eyes might pop out of her head, "goodness no! Bella, you laugh like an angel. You didn't disturb us at all, we just thought we'd come down and see how you were doing, but obviously you're in better spirits." She teased playfully.

"Mom-" Edward began to warn her, and I wondered if he'd heard something in her thoughts, but Esme held up her hands in a sign of truce.

If I didn't know otherwise, I'd swear Carlisle and Esme were Edward's biological parents. The way they all acted so much like each other, while still being uniquely different, it was truly like watching a real family interact. It was as if Edward had taken pieces of each of his parents and used them to help mold his own identity while still being himself.

"Come on, my love. Let's leave the kids to their dance practice." Carlisle winked at us before turning back to the staircase.

"Alright," Esme sighed heavily in disappointment, as if she wanted to stay for the rest of the show, but, as she left, she seemed to remember something before turning back towards us, "but remember school starts back tomorrow. Don't stay down here so long that you aren't ready in time to leave with your siblings."

"Yes, mother." Edward grinned fondly at her, and she blew him a kiss before following after Carlisle.

It was a very sweet interaction but what Esme had said deeply confused me, "what did she mean that school starts tomorrow?"

I was horrified when the morning came and all five of the Cullen siblings left for their high school classes. I couldn't possibly understand why they were all subjecting themselves to such an act. As they left, Esme explained to me that sporadically they'll all play the part of high school students as a way to be able to stay in one place for a much longer period of time. I had arrived at the very beginning of their spring break from school, so I'd had no idea they'd be going back to school soon.

Apparently, in Alice and Edwards cases particularly, starting off as a junior in high school could let them stay in a town for up to ten years if they really enjoyed the area and wanted to participate in society. I learned from her that Forks was one of their favorite towns and they had already lived there previously. Still, the entire situation seemed terrible to me. I was strangely happy to be so new to the diet that I wouldn't have to subject myself to such horror for many years to come.

"I must confess, I am glad to be able to have you all to myself for the school day." Esme told me as I followed her into the kitchen. "I think some time just for us will be so good for us both, honestly."

"I'd like that." I agreed with her and I meant it wholeheartedly.

Esme's smile looked just as sweet and adoring as it did when she looked at her children, "I'm so glad to hear that. We're going to have such a great relationship, you'll see."

She told me that she often baked for fundraisers and the food bank in town before pulling out ingredients and cookware. As I sat at the kitchen island to watch her work, I couldn't help but think to myself how much I hoped that Esme was right in that we'd have a great relationship. She seemed so motherly from the moment I'd met her, and realistically I knew I'd probably never be a true Cullen, but I found myself nearly desperate for her affection. My own mother had never really prioritized me, but Esme wanted me all to herself during the day. That knowledge alone did funny things to my heart.

"Sweetheart? Did you hear me?" Esme asked and I realized I had zoned out again. "I asked if you wanted to stay in here with me, or, if you'd like to go have some time to yourself?"

I already seemed to be decided, "I'll stay with you."