Ryoji Kaji liked to rehearse in front of a mirror.

Human interaction was a sham, he figured out a long time ago. People care less about the actual, unsoiled truth and more about the script they were tasked to follow. To that end, Kaji would take a good long look at the mirror to practice his lines, giving them just the right inflection to impress someone or catch them off their game.

"Hey there, beautiful. You dropped these?"

Tired, but it worked. Especially on the cute, shy ones.

Maya Ibuki, that was her name. He kept track of her for the past two weeks for the precise moment she would be carrying a set of important papers and legal documents to Ritsuko's office, so he could accidentally bump into her and sent them to the ground. He helped pick up them up and handed them back to her.

"Thanks, Mr. Kaji, um-" She gave him a weak grin. "I really need to get going. Ritsu- I mean, Dr. Akagi, she's very specific about delivering these-"

"I know, I know," Kaji winked at her. She blushed, but not for long once he followed that up with, "but honestly? I think she needs an attitude adjustment. Something that'll get that stick off her ass. Think I'm the proper man for the job or what?"

Maya glared at him, blinded by jealous yet impotent rage. A low blow, which got her shaking her head.

"Y-you're a pig. I don't have time for this, bye!"

She ran off, just as he expected. Kaji smirked in triumph. No skin off his nose if she hated him. He held his prize, an ID card he swiped from her pocket, right in his hand.

"All too easy, if I'm being honest."

He marched down a hallway, the next phase of his mission ready to continue. He swiped the card to enter the empty office. Nothing save for computers and enormous, boxy generators connected to the MAGI. Kaji got to work quick. He sat in front of one of the computers, slipping a pen drive right into the hard drive. Kaji rehearsed the mission again.

"Take out the power grid, let the spies take Adam. Should be easy and simple."

An excellent gift for the U.N., Kaji surmised. For approximately three hours, the Tokyo-3 power grid would be down, giving JSSDF plants enough time to take Adam from NERV. According to Kaji's inside source, this was the last day before the grafting process would begin, so the timing had to be just right. Luckily, this part of the plan came as easily to him as lying.

Lying was his best weapon against the world. He lied to SEELE. He lied to Gendo, he lied to the cute tech earlier, Ritsuko, everyone he ever knew. Even the name Ryoji Kaji wasn't his own, taken from a comrade he betrayed. Kaji played his role in the world to perfection, without regret.

Yet. And yet. There was one person Kaji couldn't help but tell the truth to, even if came at his own expense.

Misato.

Their relationship was never simple, even back in the good old days. In college, they were deeply and passionately in love until they weren't. A lot of flirting, a lot of playful teasing- he loved pissing her off, really why would he cheat on her with some random girl?- a lot of back and forth and then came their first night of blissful, beautiful sex together…

Which was why he found it surprising and upsetting when Misato threw him out immediately after he finished inside of her.

Oh sure, the next day she gave him some bullshit about seeing another guy. He would have believed it too, if it weren't the way her eyes looked that night. He'd seen that lost, sad look before, mostly on victims of Second Impact.

Familiarity. Disassociation. Far off pain.

He left her alone after that, but Kaji couldn't keep that look out of his head. Years passed and he was cursed with a want, a need to learn more. Thanks to the U.N. files, he did. Misato was the daughter of Dr. Katsuragi, who lead the expedition to Antartica that triggered Second Impact. She was rendered catatonic for years due to her father's mistake. Kaji figured that must've been the reason for her free spirit. Guessing was all he had. She would never dare to talk to him about any of that.

A pain came over his chest. Kaji held his hand over where his heart beat, and sighed. "You know how to throw me off, Misa-chan. That's not a good thing."

Kaji loved her. He was reasonably sure it was love, or as much as he was capable of. No matter how little he deserved her, how much he hated himself, his mind always came back to Misato. The river was wide, yet he wanted to swim closer. Always made a push her way, tried to get her to open up to him. He took any opportunity he could without pushing her too far. In Germany, he pursued her relentlessly until Asuka's accident forced him to switch gears for a while.

Asuka was a fine girl. Prideful to a fault, yet hopelessly needy. Understandable given her circumstances, but he wasn't interested in little girls like her. Her crush was a detriment to his investigation, so he directed her to the Third Child. The trick seemed to be working. They were friends, or as much as Asuka allowed for. She was out of his hair for the most part.

Kaji wasn't heartless. He knew Asuka looked to him as a reliable male figure. He just wasn't suited for that role. He was no father, and he knew Misato was no mother either. It was why her devotion to Shinji surprised him as much as it did. He was grateful she learned from Asuka, even if it seemed like Misato never had time for him anymore. The brief fling they had, a pathetic attempt to swim closer, didn't improve things between them. She reeled him in and pushed him out, insisting things were over when it was obvious it wasn't. Not for him at any rate.

It hurt. It shouldn't hurt, but it did. He could admit, he resented her as much as he loved her. He wanted Misato to take him seriously for once! She had issues, things hidden so under wraps he wasn't privy to, but he was a person too! Not just a tool to escape that she so clearly wanted him to be. Perhaps it would do better to cut his losses and date someone else.

"Who though?" Kaji laughed. "There is no one else. I'm too broken for anyone to love me."

Kaji saw the program finished transferring. He took the pen drive with him, and walked out of the room. He would return Ibuki's ID card sooner or later.

The operation would take effect in a couple of minutes. Two floors down were the labs but Kaji couldn't take any chances. It wouldn't do to have him walking around just as the lights went out. He needed a solid alibi to escape suspicion.

Thankfully, fortune shined on him today. Not only was there an open elevator, Misato was all too ready to receive him!

"Misa-chan! Yoo-hoo, wait for me!"

Kaji loved the way Misato's lovely face twisted into a scowl, clearly having heard him. He also loved the way her finger jabbed the button a hundred dozen times to shut the doors, which only made it even funnier when he managed to slide a hand in between them and slip his body in. She kept her scowl as she crossed her arms.

"Tch, Kaji."

"Mornin' sexy." Kaji winked at her. "If I didn't know any better, you sound unhappy to see me."

"I'm never happy to see you. Especially right now."

Misato's eyes darted to the floor. She had an expression bordering on introspective, which definitely raised his eyebrows. Kaji had been noticing that look on her face frequently the past couple of weeks. Perhaps this was his chance to get some answers.

"Let me guess, don't tell me! Shinji found Mr. Green, didn't he?"

First, an ice breaker. Misato sharply turned to give him an utterly baffled glare.

"Fuck you, Kaji! Nothing like that! God, you're a sick fucking pervert!"

Kaji laughed at her childishness. "You make it so easy, Misa-chan."

She was distracted. Good. He placed a hand on the wall next to Misato.

"What's the sitch this time, Captain? Missin' me already? The Angels not doing it for you? Oh, oh! Something to do with Asuka, yeah she's probably annoyed the crap out of you by now!"

"Shut up!" Misato pushed his hand away. "Nothing to do with you, Kaji. I swear to God if you touch me I'll-!"

Just as predicted, the elevator lights went down. He couldn't keep the smirk off his face as Misato was puzzled over the lack of power.

"Shit! This isn't supposed to be happening!"

"Hmhm." Kaji tilted his head in smug satisfaction. "What's up? A black out never hurt anyone."

"NERV isn't supposed to have those!" Misato yelled out information he already knew. "It has generators upon generators. We should be getting the power back on immediately!"

Normally yeah, but Kaji had seen to it his program lasted long enough for the job. Sorry Misato, but the safety of Japan depended on her spending quality time with him.

"I'm sure things will be fine right now. Not like an Angel is gonna strike right at this moment, no?"

He hoped not. No use stealing Adam if the Angels came to blow everything up anyway. Shinji and Asuka were in her room studying last he checked, though. They should be able to get to the Evas if push came to shove. His smug confidence did nothing for Misato though, who used her hand to fan her face.

"Just wait a few minutes. Then I'll report your sorry ass to the Commander for harassment."

Minutes passed. Nothing happened. Misato realized the horrible depth of her situation.

"Oh god, we're trapped… I'm stuck with you!"

"The horror, the horror!" Kaji chuckled. "However will you survive me! I'm a praying mantis waiting to devour the head out of my beautiful mate, ohoho! Watch me Misato, as I munch you up… with luuuuvvvv~"

He made smooching motions to Misato, who did not take it in good humor. "Goddamn it, why are you so obnoxious today?"

"Well you see Misato, I am very, very, VERY happy today! I thought everyone, especially you, should appreciate the joy of living!"

"Cut it out you moron." Misato rolled her eyes. "If the power doesn't come back on, we need to get out of here."

"That we do." Kaji agreed. "I get a little claustrophobic in places like these anyway… Will you hold me, my dearest Misa-chan?"

"Shut it! The only way out is through the ceiling. You'll have to carry me over the shoulder."

Misato blinked, before glaring at Kaji again.

"If you look up my skirt…"

"Don't worry, I'm nothing but professional!" Kaji stuck his tongue out. "And, you know, I've also seen everything under that skirt at least twice. Mmmm, the memories~"

Misato slapped his shoulder. "Just let me get on top of you."

"You never do, though!"

"GET SERIOUS!"

Her patience was fickle, prone to violence when she didn't get her way. Kaji knew that just from her interactions with Ritsuko. Misato placed her foot on Kaji's shoulder and pushed herself up the ceiling. She picked at the hatch above to minimal success.

"Grrr, this stupid thing won't fucking open…"

"Wow, Misato. This takes me back… you putting your legs around me, me stretching you out…"

"Shut up."

"Seriously, when did the cold shoulder treatment start? Did I wear the wrong cologne? Or was I just a toy while you met up with your real squeeze?"

"I am trying to focus here. Please shut up."

"Running away from your problems, hm? Gotta say, never change."

"LIKE YOU CHANGED EITHER YOU PIECE OF… Whoah!"

She slipped and fell right on top of him. Kaji found himself getting a view of her black panties and supple butt cheeks. He gave her an impressed whistle.
"Whoooo, baby. Point but don't shoot as I like to tell the birds."

Misato pulled herself up, dusting her skirt for comfort. She shook her head in frustration.

"I don't need your garbage today, Kaji. God, you're such an annoying piece of shit… I hate this feeling I have right now…"

"Feeling?" Kaji's smirk turned into a frown. "Wanna actually talk about it, or ignore me like you usually do?"

She didn't have the energy to trade a barb. Instead, Misato sighed.

"Shinji. I've been keeping a bit of a distance from him."

'Bingo,' Kaji thought. "Are you now? Any reason why? Do I need to wrestle the poor kid for your attention?"

Misato laughed at that mental image. "He's small enough to punch you in the dick, so he has that going for him."

"Ooooh, if he did that I'd have to teach him a lesson. Gotta remind him who's the father, you know?"

"Tch. You would be a step up from his actual father. Take it as a compliment, that's as much as I'm ever going to give you."

"I'll take anything. For example, what's your problem with Shinji again?"

Misato's lips curled down. He knew how she hated being breached like now. She was as adept at secrecy as he was, even if it was mostly over the matters of the heart.

"We… had a moment in the springs… I think I screwed up somehow. No, I think I screwed up earlier. Or in general. I'm so confused right now, and I hate it."

The springs, yeah. Kaji hoped Misato enjoyed him sending over Pen-Pen.

"You're usually surer about these things. Odd. What exactly do you mean?"

"I took Shinji out of school." Misato explained, her expression serious. "I also took him out of the streets and kept him cooped up in the Geo-Front. Now, I'm wondering if I've been doing the right thing."

The pictures leaked to the press prove otherwise, Kaji thought with disdain. He had a feeling his contact did that purely as an act of spite against the Commander and Sub-Commander.

"You didn't have much of a choice with those, though. He would have been in danger regardless."

"Was it right, though?" Misato disagreed. "Section-2 is supposed to follow him around. I could have had them stationed around the school. I could have taken time off of NERV to drive him any place he wanted, or- or signed him up for something outside of school. I feel like I… I took advantage of his situation to soothe my own loneliness…"

She was very troubled by the notion, more doubt than he'd ever seen from her. Kaji decided to keep his intrusive I don't do it for you, Misato? to himself.

"Lonely? If that's what you need I'm riiiiiiight here."

Well, he'll let that slip and then keep his mouth shut. Clearly, Misato blushing in fury made that worth it.

"Not like that, pervert!" She calmed herself down quickly. "I like him. A lot. He's a prude, but he's a sweet and gentle little thing too, so... pure compared to me. I feel proud yet disgusting when he looks to me for help. I definitely want to keep him safe from trouble, but I'm worried if what I'm doing is really what he needs… if…"

"If what?" Kaji asked. "His life was over the moment his info got leaked. You weren't responsible for that. I would have pulled Asuka out of school for the same reasons if she went through the same thing. You've gone above being an Operations Director to make sure he's care for. No offense but if you feel less alone with him so what? At least he seems to appreciate your company. I can tell, aside from Asuka he only really talks to you."

Misato looked down on the ground. For a moment, her mouth opened like she wanted to say more. Instead, she shut it back quickly. Her face softened into a tiny smile, leaving Kaji confused.

"Misato?"

"Nothing." She nodded. "I'll just watch myself from now on, that's all."

He shrugged, not really caring what she meant by that. He checked the time.

"Soooooo, got any cool stories? Or should I tell you about the bar waitress I picked up the other night?"

"No."

"Come on!"

A couple of hours passed, the small moment they shared gave way to the usual arguments and traded barbs. Nothing Kaji wasn't used to. He was the bad guy in her head, so he played the part perfectly. Seemingly his role in her life. Thankfully for the pair, the lights returned immediately.

"Looks like we're back in business, Miss Katsuragi. Rather productive talk we had for the past three hours."

The elevator doors opened quickly. An unbearably happy Misato tugged on her jacket on the way out.

"Whatever…" She narrowed her eyes. "Unless you're choke me to death, I need to find the idiot responsible for the outage. The fate in the world is in NERV's hands, what the fuck were they thinking?"

'Following the plan, Misato, following the plan.' Kaji shrugged. "Probably wanted to save up on taxes."

Misato snorted. She looked around.

"I wonder if Hyuuga got my laundry by now. Is he having a hard time getting here, or…?"

"MISATO!"

The shrill cry caught the adults by surprise. Kaji in particular was shocked to find Asuka running in their direction. The normally fearless girl gazed up at them with horror and… tears? Kaji immediately became alert.

"Asuka, what are you doing here?" He asked her. "What happened? Weren't you with Shinji earlier?"

"I- I was curious!" Asuka was having trouble keeping her voice steady. "I didn't expect them to- oh my god, Shinji!"

Upon hearing his name, Misato's eyes sharpened. "Tell me what you did. Now!"

Asuka breathed in an attempt to collect herself.

"W-We were just messing around when everything went down. The Third and I- we were bored so we went exploring… mein gott there were men inside one of the labs! They had guns! We tried to make a run for it but they-"

"They what?!" Misato grabbed Asuka by the hem of her dress. "WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?!"

Right on cue, Kaji intervened and separated the two. He hadn't seen her this outraged in a long while, which made him more focused as he said-

"Let Asuka finish. Tell us, what happened next, please?"

Asuka glanced at Kaji, grateful for the rescue. However, her eyes widened in panic.

"THEY SHOT HIM! I had to get help from anyone! Misato, please, you have to do something! It was downstairs, I- I think it was fifty seven-!"

Nothing more was said. Misato burst into a run, barreling past everything else in her path.

"Misato, wait!"

Kaji stretched out her hand to her, to no avail. Sighing, he quickly followed behind her.

The plants were supposed to have retrieved Adam minutes ago. What kept them? Talk about unfortunate timing. if Shinji was hurt- no, killed, and Misato learned the truth…

'Well, I'd let her pull the trigger. I don't want a kid's death on my conscience.'

Shinji was special to Misato, that was for sure. He wouldn't let anything happen to him in that case.

It didn't take them long to reach the lab. Lab 57, just as Asuka said. The door was open, so Misato hid behind a wall. They heard noises and conversation coming from inside the room. Kaji wondered what the hell they were doing to screw around rather than escaping as soon as possible.

"We can't break through the containment box…"

"You have to hurry. The lights came back on."

"Shit, shit shit SHIT!"

"Focus!"

"We have to leave now."

"Not while we're right here! This is the best chance we're ever going to get, the world is at stake!"

Three men dressed in NERV technician uniforms were trying to keep calm under pressure. It was an important mission and they were already doomed. The least they could do was open the safe and kill Adam before they were caught. Shinji lied near the door, clutching his leg to keep it from bleeding more. His eyes stung from the tears flowing down his cheeks, whimpering in pain.

"Can someone shut that brat up!" One of the men said. "He could compromise our cover."

"Sir, are you serious? He's not just a kid, he's an Eva pilot!"

"Your point?"

"We are going to pay hell if we do any more damage than we already have."

"Jung, keep at the containment box. I'll silence the pilot."

The man, large and intimidating, marched over toward Shinji. Shinji raised his head to find the man holding his gun on the side, clearly aiming to pistol whip the boy.

"Nothing personal. This is just business."

He didn't get the chance.

In the blink of an eye, Shinji heard the sound of a gunshot. He covered his ears from the ringing, his eyes shut. He missed out on the way Misato deftly maneuvered from the spy's dead body, kicking the second spy to the ground. She wasted no time firing at his head, and shot the last man in the shoulder. He tried to grapple with Misato to compensate, but all that managed was her throwing him over her shoulder to the ground. She pulled out her pistol and aimed it under his chin.

"Ack- wait, you don't understand what's going-!"

"Hey." Misato bared her teeth. "Nothing personal."

The gun fired, leaving a red smear on the floor.

From where Kaji was standing, he had to admit… Misato could be brutally efficient when she wanted to be.

He saw Misato look back to Shinji. He was cowering in the corner, unable to stop crying. She took a step closer, then another, and another, before she called out his name.

"Shinji…"

Even with his ears covered by hands, Shinji could tell. He looked up. He couldn't believe his eyes.

"M-Misato… OW!"

Evidently, Misato couldn't take it anymore. She threw her arms around the boy and took him in close. She cried for him, unable to see him hurt like he was, crying as he was. Kaji stood awkwardly at the door as he heard her speak:

"Shinji! Shinji-kun, oh my god… I'm so sorry…"

Her voice came out in pained, hoarse whispers. Shinji said nothing, only able to cry. He tried to hug her back, but his arms went limp to the sides. His leg wouldn't stop bleeding.

Misato's eyes spotted Kaji. They hardened once more.

"Call someone, Kaji. NOW!"

He did. He called on his phone, and they waited for a medical team to arrive,

The entire time they waited, Misato kept close to Shinji. Asuka managed to make her way down to them, and Kaji caught Misato glaring at her. Glances and unsubtle judgements passed down onto Asuka, blaming her for what happened. Asuka was too shaken to actually vocalize her complaints, but she returned Misato's judgement with her own. They both kept their eyes trained on Shinji, who said nothing to them.

Kaji wished he didn't have to be involved in a lover's quarrel.

In the end, Shinji was taken away in a stretcher to receive treatment. Misato continued to stay close to him, escorting Shinji to the proper facilities. She only took a moment to glare at Kaji.

"Talk to Asuka. Make sure you don't let this happen again."

Her tone spoke with cold rage. Completely unwarranted, in Kaji's professional and unprofessional opinion. Now that Misato was gone, Asuka spoke up:

"What the hell was that for?! I didn't ask for him to get shot! By god, she's so self-absorbed!"

"Well, she did almost lose him." Kaji worded carefully. "I guess that's to be expected…"

But he wasn't so sure of his answer. Misato opened up to him about her worries, concerned over how overprotective she was being of Shinji. Now? Today was going to fuel her anxiety even more. If the ocean was forming between them, it was going to get worse now.

Misato was not going to leave Shinji out of her sight again.

A report would later confirm Matariel, the Ninth Angel, was found dead in Kofu. The acid burned through its skin faster than it could regenerate, which had the effect of destroying the core. Lives were lost in an explosion, a fiery cross burned into the sky.

Author's Notes:

Thanks for the good wishes. Chapter's late, but here we go. Some insight into Kaji's thought process. I don't have any particularly grand notes for this chapter tbh, I'm just glad to get this over with.

Reviews:

engel17white: Two parts:

1) Fights are not my strongest suit. They take a lot longer than a week to write for me, which caused me to get burnt out on other stories I wanted to do. In something like this, I'm glad to keep the focus squarely on the relationship. I hope this chapter satisfies.

2) I get what you mean, but I've come across fics I've loved that never get updated again. I at least want to be clear with my readers about where my headspace is at the moment, especially when I'm trying to keep to a schedule.

Rowboat Girlyman 1: To be fair, even the toughest German would need to get used to drinking beer, especially when you're starting at twelve years old.

QUICKM33MZ2005: I wish I could give you a logical, pragmatic reason why I went with that upgrade, but to tell you the truth I just didn't really want to have Shinji being shitty to Asuka in this story. There is a deeper story reason for that, but I will only elaborate on this later. Thank you and the others for wishing me well, I hope you like this insight into Kaji.