Chapter 8: Revelation
The ankle restrain was back.
So was the circle of sand and the tape across the door.
Marc tried to tell Steven that there was no point, that back when it was him he'd just put everything back the way it was, that those little traps were not an effective way to trap their third alter if he was sneaky enough to go moonknighting behind their back.
But this was Steven's way of coping. He had to feel like he was doing something. He even bought an automatic feeder for the fish and installed it, even though feeding the fish himself, seeing them try to nib at his fingertips was one of the greatest joys he had with the pets.
There was a lot of screaming, of course. And cursing. And breaking of mirrors.
Jake had logged off entirely, not stirring even when you called him. The few times his camera did flicker to life momentarily, you saw him curled up on his military cot in the replication of the room he'd slept in back at the military, clutching his top hat to his chest as if it were a stuffed animal.
You didn't blame him. All of Jake's worst fears seemed to have come true. Marc really did hate Jake. Or rather, the idea of him. His main problem seemed to be that Jake was still working with Khonshu. He saw it as a betrayal after everything him and Steven had done to get out of that deal.
Which meant he also hated you. You used to tell yourself that even if Marc had a problem with Jake's violence, you were different. If you ever did talk to the boys, which of course you couldn't and wouldn't because you were a watcher and that ruined your entire purpose but if you did… They would like you. They would be grateful.
They were not.
They hated you just as much as they hated Jake.
Especially Steven.
Especially Steven because he'd figured out that you had been going behind his back to spend time with his girlfriend's nephew. The combination of the violence in the missing time and not knowing what he did with Peter during blackouts made him scared of you. He didn't know that there were two of you, not one, but that would hardly even matter, would it? You too were Moon Knight now. You had a costume and you did missions and you were in the same boat as Jake now.
Marc had called in sick at Steven's workplace and written a message to May letting her know he (Steven) was not feeling well after all and they had to put meetings on hold for a while. Those were about the only productive things he managed to do that day. By the time lunchtime came about, he had exhausted himself so much raging at reflections that Steven had to take over. After re-decorating the entire flat with red flags, Steven added sticky notes on every surface, each one holding a question for their 'mysterious third'. He tried to take a nap to encourage the Third to come out and answer them but that made Marc so upset he took over again and ran outside, wandering the streets until late at night.
That's when Khonshu returned, his presence producing the usual dramatic gusts of wind and clattering trash cans. Marc stiffened. He couldn't see the god but now that he knew he was in New York, he clearly recognized all the signs.
"KHONSHU!" he yelled at the empty alley, scaring the living daylights out of a nearby cat that fled with a screech. "SHOW YOUR SELF YOU BASTARD!
Khonshu did show himself, but not to Marc. He appeared only to you, as a tiny little avatar picture in the corner of the screen, spewing out a speech bubble.
"Chameleon. You have to get my fist back under control."
You groaned, burying your face in your hands. Even Khonshu could not hear you if you didn't use your micro to borrow the body's voice but you were really reluctant to force a switch now, with Marc like that.
"The mission awaits. You have to retrieve the staff", the god urged you again.
"KHONSHU!" Marc shouted again, blindly walking right past where the god stood. "SHOW YOUR UGLY BEAK ALREADY!"
This was getting worse and worse. You just wished Marc would stop offending the god that gave him healing powers, however indirect, when both Spider-Man and the threat of the god of death were looming on the horizon.
With a sigh, you activated your VR glasses.
But…. Something was wrong. Marc gasped and pressed a hand to his head, squeezing his eyes shut as if in pain. You pressed the button again but nothing happened.
"Oh you've got to be kidding me", Marc growled. "No. No, no, no! Not again. Never again!"
He was fighting you. Marc was… Marc was fighting you.
That was not good. That was… That was horrible! It wasn't even like back in therapy when he'd pushed you away from the front. Now he wasn't even letting you take over in the first place!
Whenever you'd wanted to front, you had always been able to do so effortlessly. You had to be able to to take over in an instant because often, that was the difference between life and death when Marc unexpectedly decided to fucking kill himself.
"No. No, no, no, no!" you exclaimed and pressed the little button on your glasses repeatedly.
Was this it? Was this game over?
You had two jobs. As a watcher, you had exactly two jobs, two win conditions, two goals that you had to archive. Keep Marc alive and hide the DID. You'd been afraid back when Steven and Layla and later even Dr. Moore found out about it but the game had been forgiving back then. It was still running so long as Marc didn't find out about Jake and you. The two actual players, the only real people in a game full of AI-guided NPC's.
But now that Marc had found out the truth, you were locked out from the easy, automatic fronting you had grown used to. Did that mean you had… lost the game? You failed your job. You failed to fulfill your purpose.
Your heart was beating wildly. What was next? Would the realization that he'd never freed himself of Khonshu's deal drive Marc over the edge? Would he try to kill himself and you be unable to stop him?
Was this it? Game over? The end?
Your panic rose to unprecedented levels and you just kept pressing that stupid button, watching in horror as Marc sank to his knees as if in great pain, clutching his head, screaming, cursing, slamming his fists on the pavement.
You couldn't allow the game to end. The show must go on. You had to save Marc!
With a lurch you found yourself in the front.
You gasped, suddenly nauseous and emptied your stomach onto the pavement, though only colorless bile emerged. Your heart was racing.
You were alive. Marc was alive. The game was not over yet.
"Don't. Ever. Do that again", you said, each word costing you great strength as you glared up at the mummified god.
"Do what?" Khonshu asked with a scoff in his voice.
"Trigger Marc like that!" you snapped back, furious. "He knows about us now, about me and Jake! He found out because of that stupid daylight stunt yesterday! And now that he knows, he fights us and we can't get out without apparently causing him great pain!" Your hands curled around your knees as you sat before the god, who stared down at you with those emotionless black holes.
"Please…" you said desperately. "Please, just… Don't show up around him or Steven. We can't… It's hard enough as it is. We have to be really careful in sneaking out now."
Khonshu stepped forward and leaned down a bit. He put one clawed hand onto your head, gently caressing your scalp. The unexpected touch stirred something in you, something unknown and deep and painful and yet something you wanted more of. You closed your eyes, enjoying the touch.
You were reminded of his kind words to you before, his praise, his acceptance, the gifts he'd given you. You felt relieved, Of course Khonshu would understand. Of course he wouldn't want to hurt you or the boys. He was a protector, just like Jake and you. You'd done well as his Moon Knight, he'd said so. He valued you. You couldn't remember anyone but Jake ever praising you like that. You couldn't remember anyone period ever touching you like this, with anything resembling… affection. Without meaning to, you leaned into the touch, bowing your head to the god as you did so.
"My little Chameleon. Your soul belongs to me. Your life belongs to me. Your purpose is to serve me." The claws caressing your scalp suddenly curled around a fistful of hair, slowly forcing your head back. You gasped as he made you look right into the empty sockets of his skull. "You will obey me. I will not allow any attitude from you. You will repress the worm. You will reawaken Jake Lockley. You will get Marc back under control. If you and my warrior cannot fulfill my mission on your own, you have to make my fist embrace my power again. Do you understand?"
Your mind scrambled, stumbled, bled. There was no kindness in the god's voice now.
You did not feel any pain in your game-body. But the sudden switch from loving caress to that clawed hand dominating you by nearly ripping out your hair, that stung. You realized with a start that was the whole point – carrot and stick. Khonshu was trying to make you long for his acceptance, to snare you in when really, all he cared about was having an obedient slave.
And you fell for it. You felt suddenly disgusted with yourself because you had seen it, you had seen him to the exact same thing to Marc years ago. Trying to lure him in with the promise of a purpose, of doing something good and worthwhile when really, every death at his hands had added further weight to Marc's already enormous guilt complex. Which in turn only fueled his desire to somehow make up for it. He'd tried to wipe his slate clean and Khonshu had given him a bucket of blood to do it with.
The same thing wouldn't work on you. You didn't care about the lives of NPC's, especially not criminals. Heck, you sometimes enjoyed seeing them being served Khonshu's justice. Khonshu knew that. He knew he couldn't get you the way he got Marc. Jake, he'd gotten by offering a way to channel his anger, offering a clear target to vent it on. Jake never disobeyed him, always agreed to serve. But Jake wasn't always available. He rarely ever managed to front on his own, he needed a danger as a trigger or he needed you to facilitate the switch. So what did Khonshu do when Jake wouldn't come out and he had a need for him? He hurt Marc. He hurt him or put him in danger till his panic brought forth Jake.
And now Khonshu had set his sight on you. Not because he liked you. Not because he saw potential in you as another aspect of Moon Knight. But only because you could bring forth Jake.
Jake had known. He'd seen it, he'd tried to warn you and you'd been so stupid you hadn't understood. Khonshu knew you were always watching and he knew he couldn't hold other people as leverage over you, not Layla and certainly not the lives of the targets.
So he'd found another way to try to make you dependent on him.
Khonshu had never been interested in having you serve as Moon Knight. That was not your role. You couldn't fight like Jake, you weren't educated like Steven and you weren't street-smart like Marc. You could only ever imitate them.
It had been Marc he wanted all along. That was the only reason Khonshu had ever been kind to you, because he wanted to use you to bring Marc back in, or at least to help Jake overcome Marc.
And that shouldn't matter, it shouldn't fucking matter because Khonshu was just a stupid NPC like all the others and yet-
"Do you understand?" Khonshu asked again and you felt something hot and wet run down your cheek.
"Yes", you croaked weakly. What else was there to say? The mission had to be completed. A freed Anubis and restless dead were really, really bad. If Marc's mental shutdown didn't cause a game over, failing the main quest surely would.
"Hm?", Khonhsu made, loosening his grip on your hair slightly, yet seemingly still awaiting more.
"… Yes, my Lord", you whispered, bowing your head again.
And for the first time in your life, you truly hated yourself.
"See, that wasn't so hard", Khonshu practically purred, his clawed hand caressing your scalp once more before lightly brushing against your cheek. Your stupid heart was once more beating faster.
And Khonshu just had to twist the knife.
"Now summon my warrior. I have a lead on the staff."
Because of course Khonshu wouldn't want you. Nobody ever wanted you. Nobody ever even saw you. That was not your purpose.
You closed your eyes and you called for Jake. And while he had not responded once ever since Marc uncovered your secret, he did stir now.
"David? What's wrong?" he asked, sounding very worried.
"Nothing", you replied, even your mental voice shaky. "I just need you to run a mission. Please. I… I…"
"Don't say anything. I'll take it", Jake said and you felt yourself fall back, returning to your chair.
You didn't pay attention to the mission. You just crawled into your hammock, throwing out the stupid Khonshu plushie that was still lying inside and you cried yourself to sleep.
You hadn't even realized you could possibly want or need anyone to… to be proud of you. Not until Khonshu had dangled the idea in front of your nose. Now you felt… worthless.
It was so stupid. It wasn't like Khonshu was someone you had ever admired or looked up to. Sure, he had been there during the most fun, the most relaxed part of the game, back when Marc had been well. But you weren't Marc. You were just a watcher. You were a real person and Khonshu was just an NPC. You had no reason to want to be Moon Knight. You hadn't chosen this show to be a superhero, you'd chosen it because you loved Marc's character and wanted to help him.
You shouldn't be craving Khonshu's attention like this. You had other people who gave you that. You had Jake and, and…
Your mind scrambled and drew a blank and scrambled again and then short-circuited.
And you suddenly realized you had no parents.
XxX
AN:Ugh, I of course had to catch a virus over the holidays. I'm only just starting to get better - you are SO fortunate I had all of this pre-written.
Please leave a review if you liked it!