Disclaimer: Don't own PJO or the Whiskered Warrior.
Lunar Phases
Trolled
Memory.
A word for the conceptual idea of mortal recollection of events. It can be as good as an elephant's or as terrible as a goldfish's. Both similes have long since been disproven in various fields of research. Regardless of the inaccuracies in comparison to the rest of the Animal Kingdom, mortals' memories are unique to their respective identity. Changing one alters the way a mortal would see themselves. It's why the gods did it so often before Zeus' rule was asserted in the Gigantomachy.
December 22nd, 2008
Much to her surprise, Bianca really enjoyed being the Lieutenant of Lady Artemis. Sure, the problem with that title had meant she was in charge of and responsible for upwards to fifty teenage girls, but most of them were older than her by centuries, if not decades, and matured past the nagging squabbles and complaints that newer Hunters were known for making. It helped that, for the most part, they were capable of taking care of themselves and well behaved without their patron Goddess's supervision. However, there were times when being the second-in-command became tiring and, in a way, nostalgic.
Times such as now.
Naomi was an experienced and intimidating Hunter. She'd been with Lady Artemis for nearly as long as Zoë had. Her immediately hostile attitude towards boys was a... work in progress. Again, though, she'd been a Hunter nearly as long as Zoë had. That meant there was some...tension between her and their Lady's son. Apparently, that in turn meant there was bound to be tension between Naomi and the daughter of Zeus.
"Grace." Bianca's fellow Hunter spat.
"Hunter." Thalia sneered back.
Naomi narrowed her eyes, glaring at the daughter of Zeus that stood across from her in the apartment complex's main lobby. That she wasn't a fan of the 'privileged' demigoddess was an understatement. Clearly, Thalia felt the same, judging by the scowl that was growing on her face. Geez, she really did look like Zeus' if he shaved and had freckles.
Or, Bianca wondered. Is that why he has the beard?
"Tree Girl, play nice." Naruto drawled half-heartedly as he rejoined them from double-checking his truck where it was parked. Thalia scowled at him and he arched a brow. "You want to fight with her for the whole two hour drive? By all means, be my guest."
"Two hours? In a car?" Bianca blanched. He glanced at her.
"That's a rough estimate, you have to consider New York traffic." He shrugged and nodded at the demigod. "And Thalia wants to stop for a bite on the way. I told her we would, considering..."
The older girl smiled at him in a rather odd way after he mentioned that. Strange, Bianca thought. She'd never seen Thalia give a small smile like that. Laugh, smirk, or grin, sure, but that kind of smile was different. Bianca just couldn't quite put her finger on why or how.
She noticed Naruto had said something and was now almost glaring at her like Lady Artemis did whenever her ADHD acted up. Yeesh, he looked a lot more like Lady Artemis when he did that. Would Bianca be able to do tha-? Right, his eyes are narrowing. Speak now and save yourself, Lieutenant!
"I'm sorry, what did you say?" She asked. Naruto's notched brow arched.
"I said: you could always walk if it bothers you that much."
He was serious. Bianca knew that because Lady Artemis would be. She'd probably make it more fun, adding a challenge or restriction to increase the difficulty. Then add an unnecessary incentive for those who decided to do so. Naruto didn't seem like he would make it fun or give her an incentive to do so.
"I'm good."
"Uh-huh. And you?" Naruto asked, looking at the other Hunter. "Are you going to play nice or are you going to walk?"
"I will not pick a fight." Naomi grunted. She crossed her arms challengingly. "You shouldn't take her side over ours."
"There's no side."
"Yes, clearly," she sneered. "That is why you're being so accommodating for Grace."
"Helios, Selene, Cthulhu, Primus…" Naruto sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Bianca wondered if there was a reason he used the faded Titan-gods and two others as a complaint focus. "Look, Naomi, I didn't ask Mom to send you with us—"
"Yet here we are!" Naomi snapped. She pushed off of the wall and stood in front of him. Her finger jabbed into his chest, which made him glower. "Your stupid decisions have cost you Lady Artemis' trust! Hence it is because of you that I am here rather than with my sisters, protecting them, helping them, while they fight our true enemy!"
"Naomi, we have an assassin after us."
"I fail to see how that is our problem."
"Who do you think the Titans will unleash him on after we're dead?"
"I don't know, other demigods from the Camp?" Naomi snarked.
"They would probably have him target their families, too." Bianca noted, giving the older girl a scowl. Her brother was technically one of those campers. "Maybe even us as well."
"Be that as it may, no mortal man could defeat a Hunter." Naomi sniffed, arms crossed as she leveled Naruto with a challenging look.
"...Do you even hear yourself?!" Thalia snapped. "Hello! This guy kicked Whiskers' ass thrice over! ...No offense, Whiskers."
"None taken," Naruto shrugged before he groused. "I mean, much as I hate to admit it, he did do that."
"Exactly," Thalia nodded. She glared back at Naomi and crossed her arms. "Last I checked, Whiskers was a pretty damn strong mortal. You would know that, because you trained him."
"Indeed…Have you been slacking?" Naomi accused the lone male present.
"Wha–I killed Lycaon! Alone!" He glanced at Thalia when she let out a grunt. "I said I was sorry."
"Yeah, but it still bothers me."
"As it does Lady Artemis." Naomi mumbled, her features settled for a neutral glower as she contemplated. "And after that?"
"I was grounded. Then brainwashed."
"Right." The Hunter frowned. "Okay, that's fair. Still, what could this mortal possibly do to register as a threat?"
"Teleport." Thalia scowled and then rolled her hand. "And do some magic &*%$, like making a ball of energy that drills things."
"I hate magic." Naruto grumbled as he absently rubbed his stomach. He groaned into his hand and then glared at his shoulder. "Yes! Fine! Chakra! It's not magic, it's chakra! There, happy?!"
"...Oh no, he's emulating Lord Janus." Naomi muttered.
"Naomi!" Bianca hissed. They weren't supposed to comment on Roman deities in front of Greek demigods. She still had trouble wrapping her head around Diana at times.
"That two-face guy? Met him." Thalia scowled. "He's a jerk."
"...How did you meet Lord Janus? He shouldn't–"
"Labyrinth. Long story, and not important." The daughter of Zeus cut Naomi off. "Let's focus on Whiskers' dick of a dad that ruined my birthday breakfast."
"Wait, your mortal father is trying to kill you?" Bianca blathered out, looking at Naruto.
"He's enthralled by Hecate's magic. Like I was." He grunted. Ah yes. That was a quest Bianca was not thrilled to have taken part of. Her father was more aloof about Persephone's side-experiment than she'd expected him to be. He was also strangely forgiving in regards to Naruto's role in the theft — likely because he would one day be part of Hades' kingdom — and she didn't envy Melinoe for the ire he displayed when her new allegiance was mentioned.
"So, are we going to just kill him or do we snap him out of it?" Bianca asked. She blinked as a thought occurred to her, and she turned to Thalia. "Hey, on that note, how'd you snap Naruto out of it? It wasn't just through a fight, right?"
The older teens stared at each other for a long moment, before both slowly smiled at each other. Kind of weird, but they did that a lot on the quest to save Lady Artemis. The silent staring thing, not the smiling thing. That was new. Was she going to get an answer or–? Ah, they'd finally looked back at her.
"Uh, yeah. It was. I, um, shocked him," Thalia said, as her face turned a little rosier than normal. Lady Artemis' son coughed into his fist before he scratched the back of his head. Huh, why wasn't he meeting their eyes? Bizarre.
"...That's all it took?" Naomi's eyes squinted suspiciously.
"It was quite the...electrifying experience." The corner of Naruto's lips twitched and he scratched his whiskered right cheek with the opposite hand, concealing his mouth while investigating the ceiling. Thalia snorted and turned away, covering her own mouth with a hand as she did.
Geez, these two were so weird. Must be what happens when you turn eighteen. Bianca was so relieved she didn't have to deal with that.
"Uh-huh." Naomi didn't sound convinced, but Bianca trusted them. Naruto believed in her and had given her good advice in her early days as Lieutenant. Thalia hadn't been anything, but nice to her since they met—Incident in the junkyard notwithstanding (that had been Bianca's own fault, after all). She was willing to give them the benefit of the doubt.
"Alright, so who's driving?" The Lieutenant asked, before pointing at her sister-in-arms. "Not you, Naomi."
"What? Why not?!"
"Because you drive like a lunatic!"
"I had to learn while swerving through bombing zones in World War Two! The learning curve was steep." Naomi huffed before gesturing at her. "Besides, who are you to judge me? You can't drive!"
"I can so! Phoebe says I'm the second safest driver in the Hunt!" Bianca frowned.
"You drive like someone four hundred times your age!" The older Hunter scoffed. "The fact remains, you cannot drive us."
"Says who?!"
"The law?" Naruto deadpanned, earning a pouty glower from the Lieutenant. He reached out and flicked her in the side of her head. "Reality check, Bianca, you're stuck as a twelve-year-old girl. You will never drive without being pulled over."
"Besides, Whiskers is driving. It's his truck." Thalia snorted as she hefted her bag up and slung it over her shoulders. She looked at Lady Artemis' son. "Think it's warmed up by now?"
"I hope so." He sighed. "I never made time to check the heater after Asceplius installed it. He says it'll work but..."
Ah, yes. Bianca understood his hesitation. It was hard to trust the God of Medicine to fix a truck. Not that she could either, but still, most mechanics weren't considered an integral part of the medical field.
"Is it at least a stick?" Naomi looked at Naruto.
"It's a pickup truck. Of course it's a stick."
"There may be hope for your redemption yet." Naomi nodded before she froze. "You said a pickup truck?"
"Yeah. Don't worry. It's got four seats."
"Shotgun!" Thalia called before he even finished speaking. Bianca shared a frown with Naomi.
They didn't like the implications of her impatience.
To say Thalia was stoked for her birthday brunch was an understatement.
She hadn't had a decent cheeseburger from what she called McRonald's – or as the rest of the world knew the franchise, McDonald's – in weeks. As they drove to the nearest one outside of Manhattan, even with the Hunters sitting in the back, she felt her excitement grow. Upon arriving at the fast food chain thirty minutes outside the city, everything went smoothly. There wasn't a large line for lunch, the radio station remained on the neutral ground classic rock channel (for now), their orders were clearly given and repeated back verbatim.
Then, Whiskers pulled up to get their food and everything went pear shaped.
"And here's the kid's meal," said the girl on the other side of the window as she handed the boxed meal over. She was a blue-eyed bleached-blonde bimbo in every sense of the word near their age who had a bad spray-on tan and too many accessories. She leaned on her arms through the window and grinned at Whiskers with a far too-toothy smile. "Anything else I can do for you?"
"No, that'll do thanks." Whiskers said as he rummaged through their bag, triple checking their order. Thalia didn't blame him, in her experience teenage workers were easily distracted when stressed, and that was without ADHD.
"Are you sure?"
Not to mention this girl needed to take a hint.
"Um… Yes?"
"Alright, but listen, if you change your mind, check your receipt. Have a good day." She winked. They drove off before Thalia could give her a piece of her mind.
Don't react. Don't react. Don't react. She chanted, while she dug through the bags and handed Naomi her chicken sandwich – the freak – while Whiskers slid his straw into his Diet Coke. The mantra did wonders to calm her down. Just think about the burger, that thick, juicy mouth-watering burger–
Her thoughts stopped when she found the receipt. Her eye twitched at the note she could barely read. What she did notice amongst the shifting letters was the sizable heart on the back and the ten digit number above it. She crushed the paper in her grasp before going back to her search, all while her blood boiled in her hanger.
That hussy! She thought, digging through the bag like a woman possessed. I should've just zapped her, or turned her into a charred walking stick–where the Hades is my burger?! I swear to the Gods, if that bimbo forgot—aha!
Thalia all but ripped the paper covering off of her double cheeseburger once she found it and tore into the meat with fervor. She sighed happily as she chewed. All would be well.
"Everything, okay?" Whiskers asked as he turned onto the next street. She arched a brow and he glanced at her from the corner of his eye. "You're chewing rather, uh, enthusiastically."
"Ifsh fynn." She answered while chewing. She felt his tired stare bore into the side of her head.
"That's disgusting." The annoying Hunter commented from her place in the scrunched backseat. Her retaliation came in the form of a ketchup packet that she threw over her shoulder.
"Tree Girl, we went over this yesterday," Whiskers groaned as he gave her his disapproving glower. "Use your manners."
Ugh, he just had to look so much like a pouting kitten when he looked at her like that. She swallowed her bite in order to answer him.
"I said 'it's fine'," Thalia said before going for another bite. Her boyfriend's hand reached over and dug around in the bag that sat on her lap. His fingers grazed the bottom of the bag and brushed against her thigh. She hurriedly swallowed the rest of her current bite as a new sort of fire raced through her. "Hey! Whiskers! Eyes on the road!"
"Relax. I'm just getting my fries." He glanced at her from the corner of his eye as he retrieved the sliced potatoes. Thalia wanted to glare at him, she wanted to chide him, but worst of all…She wanted him to do it again.
I have the best timing. Tittered a familiar voice. Thalia almost, almost, choked on her next bite.
Every time.
Every. Hoover Dam. Time.
I can never enjoy a burger anymore! Thalia lamented angrily as she slumped in her seat. Why you gotta ruin burgers for me, huh?!
Well, Aphrodite started, sounding way too coy. Initially, I was just going to wait and see when you got your 'real' birthday present later tonight, but then I felt a certain kind of tingle come from your way and I just had to come investigate. Admittedly, I'm kind of disappointed you're not practicing with his stick shift.
What do–? The insinuations clicked with a simple projected image that rushed by her mind's eye. Thalia felt heat race through her body and quashed it down as best she could. No! We're not doing that in a moving car! Never, flipping, ever!
There were too many traumatic memories involving vehicles, a few of them quite recent, for that to ever be something she engages in.
Then you haven't learned the wonders of a fun ride.
Thalia didn't want to know what the goddess was talking about. She slumped back in her seat and groaned. She'd just wanted to eat her birthday burger in peace, dang it. Was that too much to ask for?
"Did they forget the pickles?"
"Wha-?" Thalia looked at her boyfriend.
"You don't look happy with your burger." Whiskers glanced at her again. "You want mine?"
Aww, he's so thoughtful! You should reward him with some road he—
"No! No, it's fine. It's just." Thalia glanced at the Hunters in the back and then looked back at Whiskers. "That myrtle plant in the apartment lobby. I think I might be allergic to it."
Rude!
"Mm." His concerned frown fell into a scowl as he flicked on the turn signal to get on the highway. "Doesn't it have more important things to worry about?"
"Right?!" Thalia lamented with a groan. She took another bite of her burger and addressed the annoyance that was Aphrodite. See? Even Whiskers thinks your presence is unwarranted.
Oh, that's just because he doesn't know better. The goddess of love dismissed Whiskers' opinion of her. His mother's been spewing lies into his ears about me for most of his life. You'll both change your tunes once you start listening to Apollo's friend Barry.
Barry?
White.
Thalia coughed when part of her burger went down the wrong pipe via a sharp inhale. What came up consequently wasn't acknowledged by either front seat rider and she took her boyfriend's offered soda to clear her throat. Whiskers tugged the drink back and gave her a flat stare when she started quenching her thirst with it.
"You have your own soda. Drink that."
"Yours is better." Her hopes for a shake were dashed when they were told that the ice cream machine was broken. Typical. "I should've gotten a Coke instead of Root Beer."
"It's not my fault you couldn't decide."
"Whatever, Whiskers."
"Don't give me any sass, Birthday Girl. You're the one that's having problems eating."
"That's not my fault."
"Uh-huh, and the myrtle was the reason you couldn't chew your burger?"
"Obviously. I'm not five." Thalia scowled as she finished off the best meal available via fast food and got started on her fries.
"Could've fooled us." Bianca muttered. Thalia glowered at the twelve-year-old. She ignored her, tossed the last of her fries into her mouth, and fiddled with the LEGO toy that came with her meal.
"Bianca if you shoot that disk in here, you're not getting it back." Whiskers warned. The Lieutenant of Artemis responded oh-so-maturely by sticking her tongue out and made to shoot the toy's projectile into the front seats. Whiskers' right hand reached behind him and he made a half-hearted grab for the toy. Bianca squeaked and curled further into her back seat, her prize cradled to her chest. He snorted and put his hand back on the steering wheel. "Yeah, that's what I thought."
"Bianca, please act your age." Naomi sighed.
"I am!" Bianca huffed. She looked at the toy with a childish grin on her face. "This thing is so cool."
"...LEGOs. Cool. Words I've never heard used in the same sentence without a 'not' in it in my life." Thalia shook her head. She ignored the scowl from the Lieutenant.
Preach it, sister. Aphrodite agreed. All they're good for is causing pain, it's why Ares has such a large collection of them. That and he swiped a few from Athena to aggravate her.
Thalia almost died.
Again.
Whiskers threatened to take the rest of her food away for the remainder of the trip. She would have to tell him why she was laughing later.
Regardless of his state of mind, Arashi was decidedly not a fan of automobiles.
In his opinion, they were too slow and quite inefficient. They utilized finite materials that created waste the planet was not designed to clean in excess. If magic was a thing here, where was the magical engine or something more environment friendly? For all Hecate's gushing of magic, it didn't seem to be present to the rest of the world. Overall, automobiles were a disappointing innovation of the modern mortal.
However, if a chakra-imbused engine were constructed...that was replenishable by the user. Chakra was a finite energy as well, but at worse it came at the cost of a user's well being rather than the planet's. After surpassing his old master in Sage training, Arashi felt it was a better alternative to have mortals risk ending their lives making the vehicle work than the Earth.
That said, part of Arashi was proud his son was quite the considerate driver. He signaled and didn't exceed the speed limit (by much). He was aware of his surroundings, to an extent. The boy never thought to check the bay of his truck nor beneath the tarp once they started moving.
At any moment during the drive, Arashi could have ended his target's life, as well as the lives of his interfering child and the two other children that rode in the back. A swift slice of brakes, or an explosive tag on the muffler, tire...anywhere really. (That was strike three against automobiles: they exploded far too easily.)
He decided against doing it mostly because the innocents that could be caught in the chaotic crossfire. Besides, it almost felt like the two of them were on a mission. Nostalgic memories filled his foggy mind, of times during the Third War where he and his team would travel for hours on foot, squabbling or chatting as they did. Hearing his son do the same with his companions brought life to his numbed heart, if only a little.
Once the truck stopped moving, Arashi would make his move. He would deal with Thalia Grace and his child if necessary. Nothing would stand in his way.
Thirty minutes into the drive, he fell asleep.
That was how the shinobi learned he couldn't stay awake during long road trips where he wasn't moving under his own power.
Two hours after their departure, nearly six hours after their first encounter with Arashi, Naruto pulled into the Storm King State Park's visitor center. He grinned as he shut off his truck and hopped out. He took a deep breath and appreciated the fresh, if wintery, air.
"Alright. Road ends here," he said, adjusting his jacket. "Now we hike."
"Ah, finally." Naomi stretched her arms high. "This is why I hate motor transport. My body feels so stiff."
"Yeah, I almost fell asleep." Bianca nodded. She sighed. "That's the smoothest road trip I've ever been on."
"...I've driven you before." Naomi frowned.
"What's your point?"
"Naomi, Bianca, we haven't even started hiking yet." Naruto sighed. He was not here to play the role of supervisor.
"Right, so are we going to move at a regular scouting party's pace or are we planning to wander around like the Campers?" The older Hunter asked with a smirk. Thalia sneered at her.
"Oh, that's cute. Should we stop to sniff out some bear caves, too?"
"I'd tell you not to, but if you want to try first? By all means."
"Girls..." Naruto rubbed his face, his good mood dropping. The drive out of the city had not been fun after the food had been eaten. Naomi and Thalia played nice, meaning that they ignored each other for the most part. Yet when they could snipe each other while in the midst of conversations with either himself or Bianca? The claws had been out.
The two exchanged another glare with one another before his girlfriend walked up to stand beside him.
"So what's our gameplan, Whiskers?" Thalia asked, pulling her jacket tight around her. "Please tell me we're going to find a cabin or something your mom has out here."
"The only cabin Lady Artemis has in the United States is in Colorado." Naomi sneered. "Even then, only he used it to reside in."
"Given that I'm not allowed at Camp and you are, I think it's fair that I get to stay in the Wolf's Den."
"That's a metal name." Thalia muttered.
"He's the only one that calls it that." Bianca snickered. Naruto glanced at her.
"What's that, Lieutenant? You're volunteering yourself and Naomi to scout out good vantage points and ambush locations at the peak while Thalia and I secure the base?"
"Wha–I never–"
"I'll be sure to tell Mom how helpful and willing you were to do the hard work right so that we wouldn't screw it up." Naruto smirked.
"...That's low, Naruto. That's low." Bianca grumbled before she zipped up her parka and trudged off into the winter. "C'mon, Naomi."
"Do try to keep yourself alive without proper supervision," Naomi said as she walked by him. She sent him a smirk. "I know how hard that can be, but do try."
"Wow, it's almost like when I was running with The Hunt." Naruto grumbled as she followed Bianca. Naomi had been among those who'd taken a few more close potshots at him than he was comfortable with.
"After this is over? I'm breaking her nose." Thalia freely admitted.
"I'm sure you will." Naruto mumbled, not having the patience to try and argue against that at the moment. He glanced in the direction the Hunters went before he guided Thalia in the opposite direction. Once they were a good few feet into the thicket around the State Park's parking lot, he stopped, turned and faced her.
"So. Aphrodite. How long has she been bothering you?"
"Ugh, can we not?" She pleaded with a sour look on her face.
"Tree Girl, we've got to go into this with clear heads." Naruto sighed. "If she's bothering you again after leaving you alone for a few weeks, the last thing we need is for her to pop up when my father does."
"I doubt she'd do anything like that."
"She made a Hunter fall in love with a Bear while my mother was hunting it."
"Right." Thalia grimaced. She sighed and rubbed her face, clearing some snow away from it. "She popped up yesterday at Boiling Trend."
"Oh. Is that why you made me get those shirts?"
"No, you just needed more clothes."
"Wait, seriously?" She nodded and he groaned. "I've got a practical and enchanted shirt!"
"Whiskers, you cannot wear the same shirt over and over. Even if it is enchanted! It's skeevy! And kind of gross."
"I—Ugh," he pinched the bridge of his nose, "We can engage in that disagreement later. Aphrodite. What did she want?"
"She just dropped in to make some...observations." Thalia crossed her arms and glared at a tree off to the side. Any harder and he would be worried for the nymph that oversaw these woods.
"The same kind of observations Eros made or–"
"Eros' observations were more...age appropriate compared to hers."
"I don't believe you." Naruto deadpanned. He'd met Eros and that God was anything but age appropriate. Then again, that could just be Psyche's affect on him.
"Dead serious." Thalia looked at him. "I'd rather deal with Eros than his mother. Even if he's chauvinistic."
"And condescending."
"Well, all gods are."
"Mom's not."
"...Sure." Thalia shrugged. Naruto narrowed his eyes at how long that answer took. She rolled her eyes. "Look, let's not get into an argument over things you don't notice about your mom because she's your mom. Let's stay focused."
"Fair." He muttered. He rubbed his temples. "Okay, what do you think triggered her popping in?"
"Yesterday? Not a clue, but today?" Thalia chewed on her lip. Her face turned a bit red, but that could've been due to the col–Nope. Her scent just gained a hint of sweet honey to it. "You, sort of, did."
"H–We didn't even do anything! Haven't!" Naruto spluttered as he felt his face and neck grow warm.
"You didn't have to dig around in the bag." She grumbled. She refused to meet his eyes as she shifted her weight to her other leg.
"Dig around in–What?" He frowned, confused and doing his absolute best to ignore the shift in her scent.
Oh, for the love of The Sage. The Fox grumbled, speaking up for the first time in hours. Healing him had taken a lot of its energy. You caressed her thigh. It turned her on. You're an idiot and so is she. Can we kill the Yondaime already or what?
"I–Hold…" Naruto pinched the bridge of his nose again. "First, sorry. I didn't think–"
"It's-It's fine. I didn't," Thalia flicked a glance at him before clearing her throat and looking away. "I didn't hate it."
Naruto coughed and scratched his cheek. It took all of his willpower to ignore the shift in his blood flow. That admission was not something he could have prepared himself for.
Oh, hey. You just displayed a reaction from that. The Fox snarked. I'm shocked.
"Let's just, can we talk about it later? Like a, um, couple should?" He offered. She nodded quickly, her freckles still a touch pink. He sighed in relief. "Good. Anyway, um, The Fox just let something drop."
"Oh, really?" Thalia blinked.
"Yeah, uh, you ever hear of a Yawn-die-may by chance?"
"No. It sounds like something I'd order at a Japanese restaurant."
Aw, you weren't supposed to hear that. The Fox grumbled. Dammit, Boy. Just let the past die and kill your father.
"So he is my father." Naruto scowled. "Wonderful."
"Confirmed by the spirit animal, huh?"
"They have a history at least–And The Fox has tuned out." Naruto mumbled, getting nothing as he prodded their mental connection. "That's annoying."
"So much for its great wisdom." Thalia rolled her eyes. "Alright, do we have a fight plan compared to last time?"
"Probably best for a rinse and repeat with you, Bianca and Naomi working range angles..." Naruto trailed off as he looked at the trees. Some of the lower branches in the area were broken off, more scraped. A low and faint bellow made him tilt his head. He knew that sound, why did he know that sound?
"What was that?" She asked, her mace canister already in her hand. Another faint bellow echoed through the area. With a press of the button, her mace turned into a spear while he drew a throwing knife. "Whiskers–"
"I heard it. I'm trying to–" He cut himself off with a curse at the sound of a closer and clearer bellow. He beckoned for her to follow him to the other side of a tree. They knelt low and Naruto pulled his jacket off, flipped it inside out and balled it up. Then, he stabbed one of his knives through it to keep its form.
"Is that jacket even supposed to be inverted like that?"
"No. But it does look like a sheep." He looked at the wadded jacket. "Well, a lamb at the least."
"A lamb?"
"Yeah, a lamb. It's for the troll."
"...The what?" Thalia looked at him with wide eyes. He put a finger to his lips and pointed out to the towering figure coming through the trees. Three heads sprouted from its neck, each bearing the face of a grumpy old man with an oversized nose and massive ears. A furry tail like that of a lion flicked around behind it.
"There it is."
Thalia looked like she wanted to say a lot, but kept her mouth shut. Naruto kept his eyes on the twelve-foot tall, lanky creature as it broke through the treeline and began investigating where they'd previously stood. Four-fingered hands grasped and pawed at the air as it took deep whiffs of the air.
Why was it–Naruto blanched. He looked at his girlfriend and whispered lowly: "Are you on your period?"
"Wha–Whiskers!" She almost shrieked as she leveled him with a death glare. "What the fu–!?"
The Troll turned towards them and roared, a loud deafening sound that could easily start an avalanche. Naruto cursed and chucked his 'lamb' at it. The Troll's hands clasped the jacket and he grabbed his girlfriend's wrist, pulling her behind him as they ran.
"It smells blood, Thalia! It hunts like a shark! That's why I asked! It smells blood!" He shouted as the monster's footsteps crashed down behind them.
"Well, I'm not! That was a week ago!" Thalia shouted at his back. Ah, that would explain why she bit his head off last Thursday when he asked her what she wanted for lunch. "Maybe it smells your axe! When's the last time you washed it?!"
"What kind of question is that?!"
"A reasonable one!"
"You know I showered before Bianca and Naomi showed up!"
"What—I said axe! Whiskers! A-X-E!"
"Oh…" That made way more sense. Ugh, Naruto wanted to kick himself. Of course it would smell his axe. The damn thing absorbed blood like it needed to. "Dammit, I should've—Sorry!"
"We'll talk about it later! Care to tell me why we're still running?!"
"There's two things that can hurt a Troll, and two things only! Sunlight turns them to stone and fire burns 'em! We're too far from a break in the clouds to use the first and everything is too damp to use the latter!"
"How do you know this stuff?!"
"I was taught by a Norse God! We hunted them!"
"So let me fry it to the point its burning!" Thalia tore her arm free from his grasp and turned to face it.
"No, dammit! It won't wo–!" Naruto's warning was drowned out by the crash of lightning. He grimaced as the bolt his girlfriend fired at the Troll left a scorch mark on its chest...and nothing else. The beast of folklore whimpered and whined at the dark ashy mark on its chest.
"I don't get it." Thalia frowned. "That usually works."
"It's essentially a sentient rock!" Naruto groaned. He cursed again as the Troll roared at them. It turned to grab the nearest pine tree and ripped it out from the ground. He threw himself at his dumbfounded girlfriend and tackled her to the snow when the Troll threw the tree at her. "Down!"
The discarded pine soared over their heads and crashed into two others behind them. Naruto hauled Thalia up to her feet and pulled her with him into the thicker wood. The Troll pursued, slower than them, even if it had a larger stride. They stopped running to catch their breaths.
"Branch, branch, where's a branch?" Thalia cursed as she began to look around. "Damn it, this snow is not helping!"
"It's all going to be too damp to ignite! Our best bet would be to–" Naruto cut himself off when the Troll roared again. Snow fell from the force of its roar. A good portion from the branches above landed on them. They were buried in seconds. He burst out with a gasp and braced himself against the nearest tree, where he started to clench his hands into fists and curled his toes in his sneakers. It was the best way to stave off hypothermia.
"H-h-holy...s-s-so c-c-cold!" Thalia chattered, her arms wound tight around herself as she emerged from the larger mound of snow she'd been buried under. The Troll's stomps were getting closer. Naruto grimaced and used a trembling hand to pull out another knife. His free hand grabbed onto the blade and he grunted as he slit his palm.
"Keep moving your arms." Naruto said as he pulled some medical gauze from his pocket and wound it around his hand before the cut healed. Once that was done, he undid the bloodied gause to unveil his healed hand, and tied it to his knife. He peeked around the tree. The Troll was sniffing again. Good. He tossed his knife past its head and the Troll followed the scent that literally flew past its face.
"Okay, that bought us some time." Naruto sighed and turned back to his shivering girlfriend. He took her up in his arms and pulled her against him. He rubbed her arms with his hands and started tapping his foot, to keep them moving a little. "Don't stop moving, Tree Girl. You have to keep your blood pumping."
"Yes. It would be a shame if you died now."
Naruto and Thalia both looked up. Standing on the bark of the tree, staring at them with crossed arms, was Arashi. He lifted a hand up.
"Hello, kids."
His stoic demeanor combined with the casual greeting was very unsettling.
Where was the heads up on that one!? Naruto roared at his quasi-spiritual companion.
No negative emotions! I can't sense him if he doesn't have malicious intent! The Fox snapped back.
"I don't suppose it would be too much to ask that you let the demigod go?"
"Wh-Whiskers...He's…"
"Yeah. I know." Naruto mumbled. He tilted his head. "How are you doing that?"
"Tree walking exercise."
"You say that like I should know what it is." Naruto deadpanned. Arashi arched his brow.
"You should."
"...Is th-that how you c-climbed up th-the apartment?!" Thalia asked, looking up at him while her teeth chattered.
"No, I did it more like Spider-Man."
That's being generous. The Fox scoffed.
"Whiskers–Wha…" Thalia groaned and rested her head against his chest. "W-We need to learn more about th-this Cha-Cha stuff."
"Chakra." Arashi corrected her. He drew a tri-pronged knife. "And no, you don't."
Head's up, there's Malicious Intent directly above you.
Oh, gee, thanks! I never would have figured that out! Naruto snapped as he pulled Thalia away from the tree just as Arashi dropped down with his knife at the ready. Snow shot up from his landing and the blond teen sent a grimace at the unharmed man.
"You look alright for someone who got struck in the chest with lightning." Naruto noted.
"Yeah, wait-?! C-come on, no w-way! I f-fried you!" Thalia scowled as she tried to straighten out her legs. Naruto pulled his axe from its resting form and brandished it towards his rising father, keeping an arm around his girlfriend. Arashi tilted his head.
"Lady Hecate blessed me with her healing magic."
"I hate magic." Naruto and Thalia grumbled together. The assassin hummed.
"For the record...I'm sorry I have to kill you. You seem like a decent enough girl and my son clearly likes you."
"W-Wow, th-thanks. S-Such praise." Thalia grumbled.
"Naruto, will you sit this one out?"
"You gonna drop dead?"
"I'd rather not. It doesn't sound fun at all."
"That's my answer." Naruto narrowed his eyes. "And, you should try it sometime."
"Round two it is then." Arashi sighed. He drew another kunai and prepared both. Naruto quickly launched another knife he'd secretly palmed through their exchange. Arashi deflected it. "That's not very nice."
"Don't let him throw those knives." Naruto whispered to Thalia. He broke away from her and rushed to engage his father in close quarters while Thalia went digging for her previously discarded spear.
"Is that all you think I can do? Throw my kunai?" Arashi asked as he blocked Naruto's attempted strikes and slashes. In the split second after the whiskered teen threw a right cross, Arashi ducked under the arm, tucked his foot between Naruto's, and then shoulder tossed him. The teen was back first into the snowy forest floor and the assassin scowled down at him. "Don't insult me, son."
He opened his mouth to say more before he was struck from behind by a bolt of lightning. The pained grimace the attack caused was enveloped by smoke before the man was replaced with a charred log.
"Oh, c-come on!"
"It was a good attempt." Arashi mused as he appeared beside Thalia. His sphere attack swirled to life in his hand. "Now die. Rasengan!"
"Aegis!" Thalia was sent flying when Arashi's energy attack collided with her shield. She tumbled across the frozen forest floor after landing and only stopped once she slammed the edge of her shield into the ground. The son of Artemis pushed himself out of the snow and chucked his axe at the man, before moving to put himself between the assassin and Thalia. Arashi dodged the initial throw with a simple duck and the return arc with a backflip. Naruto scowled as he caught his axe.
"That's ridiculous."
"I didn't become Hokage for my good looks alone." Arashi returned. He tossed two of his kunai and Naruto deflected both.
"These words you keep dropping don't mean a damn thing to me." Naruto sneered at his father.
"They are your heritage." Arashi grunted as he threw several shuriken. Naruto matched it with his crescent variants, knocking the others from the air.
"Don't care."
"You should. It's in your blood."
"Whoopie for me." Naruto smelled ozone build up and dropped, covering his head. "Do it!"
Thalia let out a yell as she thrusted her spear forward, but Arashi flashed out of existence milliseconds before the lightning connected. The younger blond glanced at the deflected knives before he made his way over to his girlfriend.
"D-Dammit!" Thalia panted. She dropped to a knee and shuddered. "S-Stupid...c-cold!"
"I got your back, Tree Girl." Naruto said, reaching down to help her up.
Malicious Intent, six o'clock!
What, no! He never threw a knife this way! Naruto rounded and lashed out with his axe, just barely catching his father in the shoulder. The older man swore in Japanese before he flashed away again.
He can mark locations. He could have planted them before sneaking up on yo–Behind you!
Naruto turned and caught the blade of his father's kunai knife through his right hand. Arashi stared at it, then looked at him.
"You don't consider your own well-being in a fight."
"I know that I'll get back up."
"Impressive boast," Arashi said. His knee lifted and buried itself in Naruto's side. He doubled over, but deflected the second kunai's attempted stab with his axe. The two blonds pushed away, the younger's palm ripped as the knife that impaled it went with its owner. It healed just as fast. "Very good, son. You're improving. Alas, your track record against me says this fight will be mine once more."
"Maybe." Naruto huffed. He heard a familiar bellow and a plan started to form as faint crashing became apparent. He shook out his healing hand and replaced his axe on his ear. He glanced at his girlfriend, who was keeping herself upright with her spear.
"Thalia, do not tell anyone I did this. I will deny it to my last breath." Her confusion immediately came to bear on her face. Naruto ignored it and took a breath. Then, he started to sing. "Jesus loves the little children, all the children in the world—"
"Are–are you singing?" Arashi blinked.
"Yep." Naruto confirmed before he continued singing the children's song Alf taught him. The god had learned it from a past lover, and they'd used it to bait out the more stubborn cave trolls. "Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight, Jesus loves the little children of the world...Jesus loves—"
"That's...really annoying."
"Not to mention it's kind of racist." Thalia mumbled.
"You're both right," Naruto said, as familiar thumps made him take a subtle step back. "But it's not really for our enjoyment."
"What?"
The Troll's roar had the assassin whirl around just in time for its arm to crash into a very surprised Arashi. The backhanded strike sent him flying through several trees. The Troll, smelling his blood on the man, pursued the assassin with another bellow.
"Huh." Naruto blinked as he watched his father try to avoid being squashed by the Troll. "That worked out far better than I thought it would."
"What was with the kids' song?" Thalia asked. He glanced at her.
"Trolls hunt by scent, and their favorite food is Christian men." Naruto pulled her into a one-armed hug and helped her back toward the truck. "They're also dumb as rocks, so all you have to do is sing and they'll think you're a Christian."
"Really?" The dubious look on his girlfriend's face was kind of adorable. "No monster is that stupid."
"Would you willingly sing that song for the fun of it? How about in Camp?" He challenged.
"…Okay, fair point." Thalia huffed and wound her arm around his side, shivering slightly. "Let's get out of the cold while your dad gets mauled—"
"Katon: Gōkakyū no Jutsu." A flare of heat and light made the two stop and turn to see the assassin spew fire from his mouth in the form of a large fireball that engulfed the Scandinavian creature. The Troll let out a shrill cry as it fell into the snow, trying to douse the fires that had engulfed it. Arashi flickered into existence on its burnt chest, his fingers contorting this way and that. They clapped together, index and middle fingers extended in front of his mouth, and he inhaled a breath through his nose.
"Katon: Karyūdan." Arashi uttered before he blew a stream of pure fire into existence. The Troll, the snow and the ground beneath it was scorched away into ashes.
"…Whiskers—"
"I saw." Naruto scowled. How was it his father could breathe fire and yet still be classified as a mortal? He slipped his arms under Thalia's legs and ignored her indignant squawk as he picked her up. "We have to get out of here. Yell at me later."
Malicious Intent-! The Fox didn't even get to finish his warning before Naruto's danger sense kicked in. He leapt away and twisted in the air so both he and Thalia could stare incredulously at the crater that was made by Arashi's energy sphere. The assassin watched them land on the edge of his crater before he stood.
"Who said that you two could leave?"
"I think you made him mad." Thalia mumbled. Naruto scowled as he set her back down.
"Yeah, well, he started it."
"And I'm going to finish it." Arashi's voice was suddenly very close.
Malicious Intent, dead ahead! Block, you idiot!
"Rasengan!"
Naruto had just barely stepped away from Thalia before the energy sphere was slammed into his raised arms. Twinned snaps and further cracks echoed in his ears and he bit back the pained cry that threatened to come out. His father pushed the attack further into his minced arms and sent him on an impromptu flight that was halted by a very sturdy tree. He back made a very concerning crunch on the impact. Then, he had a face full of snow to worry about.
Lift your head and breathe! Don't stop watching him! I'm working on the damage! The Fox barked as its energy started to flow through his body. Naruto listened and lifted his head up, squinting through the blurred vision.
"Whiskers!" Thalia turned her sparking eyes on the assassin. She began to lift her crackling spear. "You son of—Urk!"
"I'm tired of being shocked." Arashi mumbled as he hefted Thalia up with his hand around her neck. His free hand grabbed her wrist and held it out to the side. He forced her to stab her spear into the ground, which grounded her static.
"No! Thalia!" Naruto struggled to get to his feet. He growled over the pain he felt when he put pressure on his forearms, but as much as he tried, he couldn't get his legs to move. "Come on, dammit–No!"
Don't move yet, Boy! Thirty seconds!
"Halve it!" Naruto snarled. He could hear every choked gasp that escaped Thalia's mouth. He could smell the faint aroma of death begin to mingle with her scent. He felt his blood boil; he was not going to lie there and watch his girlfriend die!
Stop drawing on my chakra, you idiot! I just need twenty-five—Malicious intent, southwest! Two sources!
"The only malicious intent I'm worried about is right in front of me!" Naruto barked at The Fox. He went to say more when he heard the sound of wet cardboard being torn. It was followed by two sharp whistles. Arashi's sharp curse accompanied him as he disappeared in a yellow flash before two silver arrows could strike the mortal through the head. The daughter of Zeus he previously had captured fell to her knees, coughing and sucking in air while cradling her wrist.
Thank you, Mom, for making me bring the Hunters. Naruto sighed and hung his head in relief. After ensuring his arms wouldn't give out on him again, he pushed himself to a now working knee and turned towards the Hunters. A wave was sent their way, before he stuck his index and middle fingers in his mouth and let out a loon's call. Another loon sounded back and he turned back to where Arashi reappeared, more confident now that he had ranged support.
The enthralled assassin stood on the opposite side of the crater, a frown on his face.
"This is getting annoying. I hadn't wanted to take this as far as it has gone, but Lady Hecate wants this over with before her Children are forced to engage in combat." Arashi mumbled. He bowed his head and put his hands together.
Something in the air shifted and Naruto was transfixed on his father, who radiated a calmer aura. Something about it felt…familiar.
Don't let him finish gathering energy! Attack now! The Fox urged. He shook himself out of his spellbound daze and threw a handful of crescent shuriken before he drew his axe and made a running leap across the crater. He brought the axe over his head, intending to replicate the birth of Athena on his own father.
Then, Arashi's eyes opened.
The Shuriken veered off course.
The color of his father's eyes had become murky yellow and his pupils had widened horizontally. Orange markings appeared over the top of his upper eyelids like mascara. His hand extended out and he caught the edge of the Bone Steel in it. His skin didn't break and his blood didn't spill.
…$*&%. The Fox grumbled. Brace yourself! This is going to hurt!
Naruto folded over the fist that was buried in his gut. His ribs imploded, his lungs collapsed and his stomach exploded when more strikes found their marks. His jaw shattered from the heel that rocketed into it. In less than a second, he went from capitalizing on his advantage to lying flat on his back, eyes turned toward the gloomy grey sky and unable to breathe through the blood that pooled in his mouth. He absently wondered what the plate number of the truck he'd been hit by was.
The grey winter clouds were suddenly obscured by a blurry yellow shape. It crouched down over him and he found himself looking at a warped reflection. Weird place for a mirror, but who was he to judge the gods' ways?
"...I'm sorry, Son." The near-inaudible apology came from the shape before a droplet of rain fell upon Naruto's aching face. The world turned bright yellow before the shape disappeared, and the rain went with it.
Holy $&*%, The Fox mumbled. I'm a little surprised you lived.
Shut up and heal me, Fox.
Ungrateful brat. The Fox huffed. Just for that, I'm fixing your head injury last.
AN: Yeah, Minato's a Sage. Who knew?