Disclaimer: Don't own PJO or the Whiskered Warrior.
Lunar Phases
Sunset
Fallout.
Typically associated with radioactive damage, it can also be attributed to a relationship. This association likely came about due to the promiscuity of Ares and Aphrodite, and is often credited to their (oddly) rare arguments. Regardless of its origin, the use for the word today, outside of post apocalyptic programming, was cemented as a volatile end to a relationship. Friendships, partnerships, marriages, all were susceptible, and many other than those involved suffered from it.
December 25th, 2008
Apollo was, is and always will be an amazing god.
Some (primarily his cruel and hurtful twin) claimed this was just a boast born of his ego, but he knew it was true. He is the God of Truths, after all. Granted, he didn't think himself so amazing that he needed to receive Christmas gifts. The earlier iterations of the holiday had sort of tainted the spirit of the modern gift exchange for him. Besides, receiving tribute from his children or other demigods was way more rewarding to him, supplemental ego boost notwithstanding. To be gifted trinkets he could obtain with a flick of his pinky toe? Meh, not required.
The only exceptions for this revolved around his mother — who he was sure to visit and shower with love and affection often, to ensure she always remembered just who her favorite child was (even if it was never said aloud to spare his twin's feelings) — and his twin.
Artemis wasn't a huge fan of the holiday, and admittedly that was partially Apollo's fault. He got a bit chummy with a saint one year way back in the early 280s, some fellow with a portly stomach and long beard, and, well, the saint named Klaus was a generous sort to say the least. He was terrible with directions, though. One year he desperately needed a ride to continue his yearly visit to children, but Apollo's was too eye-catching, and his twin rarely actually used hers at the time. Artemis still hadn't forgiven him for the misconception that spread when the Mist refused to cover the saint-turned-spirit as he drove her chariot. Then Buzz and his pal did the same thing and...Apollo tried not to think about her reaction to that little debacle.
Anyway, Apollo didn't typically celebrate Christmas — cue studio audience gasp of shock and horror — so imagine his surprise when a golden gift appeared in front of him as he returned to his Sun Palace. Curious, Apollo took the gift, noted that it had Artemis' divine energy radiating from it and read the sticker that broke the golden sheen of the paper.
A flourished and cursive Merry Christmas! topped the pattern-breaking sticker.
Well! Apollo thought to himself as a smile spread across his face. Some appreciation at last!
The sun god snapped his fingers and the wrapping paper was done away with. A record sat in his hand, one he'd seen many times. A personal favorite, actually.
A reprint of Katrina and the Waves' original 1983 release of "Walking on Sunshine", pulled from a bargain bin at a bookstore if the additional sticker at the corner was anything to go by. In Apollo's opinion, the price was ridiculously low for the gem that this wonderful hit was. However, something caught his eye long enough to stay his annoyance at the gouged price. A sticky note was attached to the back.
I'm sure you have a thousand of these, because you're ridiculous enough to enjoy this kind of music and spacey enough to lose the record. So, here's one more.
Merry Christmas, Uncle Fred.
–Naruto
Apollo beamed upon reading the brief message. His little nephew was so thoughtful. Off, though. The God of Music only had nine hundred and forty-one copies of the original track recording in his collection. A good dozen or so were signed, and a few others were translations into other languages from places in the Far West, mostly indie groups that couldn't afford better tracks to cover. Not that there were many.
"This one is going to hang on The Wall." Apollo murmured to himself as he snapped his fingers. The gift was sent to hang among his other prized possessions, up beside photographs of his more famous children, newspaper clippings that headlined events relevant to his domains, and the second ever made copy of "The White Album" by The Beatles. It still wasn't enough to exemplify his gratitude to his favorite/only nephew. Sure, he could tell the boy where the album now hung, but he could never show it off.
Zeus' word was law, and while Apollo certainly skirted that law from time to time, he never broke it outright. A wayward thought concerning a certain legacy came through to the forefront of his mind and he fought back the paranoia that someone found out. No one would find out, because Octavian wasn't going to get anywhere so long as that praetor remained as the head of Camp Jupiter and in his legacy's way.
I need to be distracted. Apollo thought. He beamed. I've got it! I'll go thank Lil Nephew in person! I'm such a genius!
So, with that lone thought in his mind and no plan in his back pocket, Apollo whisked himself to the apartment of Thalia Grace. He appeared in a glare of sunlight, bringing a warmth and joy to the small penthouse that it was lacking just moments prior.
"Merry Christmas, Lil Neph—!"
"Tone down the light, you buffoon!"
Artemis was here? Huh, he never took her as the family Christmas type. She was awfully cross at him the first (and last) time he took Naruto out to celebrate. At least she liked the mandatory Mall Santa photo he brought back. Still, it'd be best to greet her.
"Lil Sis! I didn't know you—!" Apollo's bright grin was knocked down several levels as his twin's frigid glare fell upon him.
"Quiet. I will deal with you later." She hissed, voice cold enough to freeze him in place. Her attention fell back on the two standing across from her. Lil Nephew and his girlfriend, as well as the original inhabitant of the apartment, Thalia Grace. Both looked rather contrite and had their gazes locked on his twin.
Apollo was still so very proud of the boy for snagging a glorified princess. Despite how the girl might feel about that description, it was essentially where she ranked as far as mortals went. Admittedly, the god of the sun was a bit annoyed that the two teenagers hadn't even gotten close to doing the good stuff yet. How else could he bestow his wisdom of the woo-fu unto Naruto and ensure it be heard by his oftentimes stubborn and excessively ungrateful nephew?
Four top tier escorts in their early-20s and not one got their money's worth! Honestly, how was Apollo expected to ensure his awesomeness if his own nephew wouldn't adhere to nature's whims? Well, perhaps that changed in the three days since his last visit.
Apollo turned his attention back to the argument happening in front of him in effort find out more.
"You were supposed to be better!"
"You're not listening to me!"
"The first, if only, decent man!"
"We haven't even done anything like that!"
"Spare me your lies, Naruto!"
"I'm not lying to you, Mother!"
The ensuing drama made Apollo will a bag of ambrosia-laced popcorn into his hands. He loved being the god of the arts for many reasons, and ranking up there was that he could conjure theatre snacks at a moment's notice. It won him brownie points with whoever it was he'd been wooing at the time. That often led to more than one kind of happy ending to an evening out.
"You are in Aphrodite's grasp!"
"She hasn't bothered me once!"
"To go against everything I taught you!"
"When?! When have I ever done that?!" Naruto threw his arms up. "I've lived as the Hunter I was raised to be! To be self-sufficient, to be independent, to be willing to help others like the Heroes you and Uncle Fred told me stories of! Like Atalanta! Bellerophon! Perseus and Theseus! Doing so did nothing but get me in trouble!"
"You were bewitched!" Artemis hissed at him and then glared at Thalia. "Or more likely she was! Who knows what other ideas Eros had planted whilst in her head!"
"Do you really think Zeus would leave me at the whims of Eros?!" Thalia snapped, her voice joining the argument. Thankfully, Artemis had some semblance of control, otherwise the demigod would have been eradicated by her gaze.
"Don't even get me started on The King's failures, Thalia Grace!"
An-n-nd that's where Apollo had to step in. Artemis' status as a favorite child of Zeus often gave her a lot of leeway. Like, ridiculously so. (You want an example? Hera was more likely to listen to the Huntress' words over that of Zeus' other children on the council. Hera. Yes, that Hera.) However, the kind of talk, implying Zeus had faults aloud, was against the unwritten rules of Olympus. The few who were exempt from this were Zeus' brothers (who didn't care), his wife and his sisters (who could be scarier than The King if the right situations took place). What his twin had said, in the eyes of The King anyway, was borderline treason.
"Artemis." Apollo cut in curtly. He found himself under the ferocious silver-eyed glare.
"Unless you want to be the victim of another hunt so soon, be silent, Apollo!"
"Whoa, chill, Sis! I'm trying to keep you from getting any further on The Thunderer's bad side." He huffed, well aware as all others on Olympus were of Artemis and Zeus' latest spat. "Biting my head off for trying to help–"
"Help me? Oh, yes, brother. You certainly helped me when you told me my son had been philandering with Thalia Grace behind my back!"
Oh, no.
Oh, $&*%.
Artemis knew.
Worse yet, Artemis knew that he knew!
How does she–?! Apollo pursed his lips as the revelation dawned upon him. Then he scowled at the demigod and mortal squaring off against his twin.
"You little traitors!" He hissed. Thalia scowled back at him while his Lil Nephew rolled his eyes.
"We never swore an oath to keep quiet. You only offered me an incentive," the boy said. Apollo cursed his nephew's learned penchant for logic, poking a hole in his justified annoyance at being thrust back into his twin's fury. Naruto dismissed his annoyance with a wave of his hand. "I kept my mouth shut."
That was a truth to come from his Lil Nephew's mouth. Then, that would mean–!
"Thalia Grace," Apollo said, appalled at the betrayal. "Did you seriously–?!"
"Throw you under the bus? Yes. I absolutely did." The daughter of Zeus had the gall to look unashamed with her admittance of guilt. She even sneered at him! What did he ever do to deserve such disrespect?! "I'd do it again in a heartbeat, too."
Apollo gasped in outrage. He'd thought they were on better terms than that! She had almost crashed his ride and he didn't get upset about it. (Mostly because he offered to let her drive, knowing she'd never driven a car, let alone one as fast as his, nor was she keen on heights, but that was beside the point.)
"…Well thanks a bunch, Thals." He huffed. That girl was not going to get any tips on giving head from him in the near future. The glare he received from her was promptly shunned and ignored. He looked at his twin and immediately started running damage control. "Sis, look. I didn't tell you because...well, mostly because I didn't want to get hunted again."
"Your heartfelt honesty is noted, but it will not save you from my wrath, brother." Artemis sneered as she rounded on him. A finger pointed at him accusingly. "You and Aphrodite have been scheming over this behind my back! Admit it!"
"Yeah, because teaming up with your rival while still being on your bad side is such a good idea." Apollo scoffed. He played The Fool most of the time because most tended to underestimate them. That, and he loved being a ham. However, contrary to his twin's thoughts on his intellect, he wasn't an idiot. "I may have been born on a day, but it wasn't yesterday, Sis."
"I–! You–!" Aha! Logic left his twin flustered! The win goes to Apollo this round! Artemis huffed and turned away, to glower at her son. "I will deal with you later, brother. You, Naruto, I can't believe you fell so low!"
"If you'd just listen, Mother, you'd understand that we haven't done anything to warrant your accusations!" Naruto argued. He threw a hand to his left, toward the kitchen. "And I'd greatly appreciate it if you'd stop yelling at us in front of our guests!"
Guests? What did—Apollo's eyes fell on the strange duo that were tucked behind the kitchen island. A young girl with ebony-kissed skin, no older than six, fearfully clung to the legs of the older girl that wore a hijab and bore the armor of the Norse All-Father's prized (and, more often than not, sexy) attack dogs. A Muslim Valkyrie? Pretty cute one at that. …Huh, either they were on the cusp of the end of the world, or Ol' Father One-Eye was becoming more progressive in his advancing age. Apollo grimaced, he knew the likeliness of the former was higher than the practicality of the latter and it sent an uncomfortable tingle down his spine.
"You harbor and consort with foreigners!" Artemis spat the word out like it was a curse. "You are disgracing my name!"
"How?! I don't have your ichor! I don't have your skill! I am your child by your claim alone!" Naruto spat just as bitterly. He crossed his arms and glared at the floor. "And few of Olympus even bother to respect it."
Yikes. The unintentional truth that shone through that statement put Apollo on edge. He hadn't realized so many of their fellows were disrespecting his twin (and by proxy himself) in that way. Did the others on Olympus really think that Artemis didn't see Naruto as her child? Granted, part of the modern method of recognition involved enrolling in Camp Half-Blood, so his status being barred from it didn't help matters.
Nor would the next words that were to come from his twin's mouth.
"Then mayhaps I should revoke it!"
"Artemis!" Apollo gaped. Naruto looked like he'd been slapped, and for good reason.
Gods, Olympian or otherwise, didn't 'revoke' blessings, titles or gifts for the actions of their chosen representatives. Oh, it could be made harder to use those gifts — the silencing of Halcyon Green was one such example, and it was a common punishment Apollo used for his prophetic children — but they were not taken back. If they ever did revoke their favor, they would have never made it through the darker times of existence. Being a god meant they had to accept all the bad their influence did along with the good and stand by their decisions. To revoke their claims was to admit they had been wrong, that they had made a mistake. The Divine could not make mistakes.
Though the choices his Lil Nephew made were not adored by Apollo, the person Naruto was growing into was a Hero that would be admired for future generations, of demigod and mortal alike, to tell stories of. It would only make their pantheon all the stronger. It would spread more glory and faith into their stories, and if managed carefully the Letotides might even breach the tie in influence currently shared by the rest of Zeus' brood.
Apollo glanced at his twin and blanched. Artemis continued to glare at her son, seemingly unaware of what she'd said. Of what she implied. He was aghast at the sight.
Did she seriously forget whose eyes and ears were also in the room?! The Valkyrie would definitely report that declaration to the one eyed bastard! He might have a variable attention span, but his twin had been cursed with their father's tunnel vision! She hadn't yet disowned her son, so there was still a chance—
The crash of lightning outside stirred the gods to look at the mortal child of Zeus. Thalia Grace looked incensed, visible arcs of electricity danced along her arms and a rising wind had kicked up in the room. Her eyes were narrowed and her nose crinkled with her frown.
"Lady Artemis, Lord Apollo," Thalia spat the titles through grit teeth. "With all due respect, please get out of my apartment."
Annoyed with her he might be, Apollo was impressed she held her tongue so long in the face of his twin's anger. Even more impressive was that she was speaking up against them at all. Better yet, she was unintentionally giving him an opening to get his twin out of there before she turned his only nephew into a jackalope. No, he wasn't keen on being tossed out when he hadn't done anything wrong, but it wasn't his temple that had been disrespected.
Artemis, with her barbaric lifestyle, tended to forget that as Olympians they were expected to respect the homes of their followers. Sun chariot in the sky that's partially why so many Minor Gods were dissenting, because they respected their followers, but saw little in return, while the members of The Council…well, they weren't as good at it as they once were.
"Excuse me?" Artemis glared at her. "Demigod, you dare challenge–?"
"Of course, Thalia Grace!" Apollo interjected, blatantly cutting off his twin and moving to stand between her and the ballsy daughter of Zeus. He sent the demigod a winning smile and inclined his head. "Thank you for entertaining us, but alas, my twin and I have things to charm, people to do, you know how it is for gods."
"Apollo–!" He pointedly ignored his twin, instead engulfing Naruto into a bone-crushing hug that was long overdue.
"Lil Nephew!" Apollo was sure to put emphasis on how he still viewed the boy. One of his subtler methods to reassure the still gobsmacked mortal and get through his twin's blinding rage. It didn't work as well as he'd hoped it would, but it was still better than doing nothing. "Thank you so very, very much for your gift! It was very thoughtful; I adore that song!"
"Uh, n-no problem, Uncle Fred." Naruto mumbled. Clearly he was still shaken from his twin's insensitive and callous declaration. Hm, that's probably not good.
"I'll talk to her, don't worry," he whispered before moving back to hook an arm over his twin's shoulders. The series of elbow jabs that followed her inability to shake him hurt, but that was mere physical damage. Easily fixed and ignored. "I hope you all have a Merry Christmas!"
That was meant for the scared little girl radiating an abundance of untapped power while hiding behind her Valkyrie protector. Whoever's kid that was was not someone Apollo wanted to be on the bad side of. He kept smiling even after he brought Artemis with him back to his Sun Palace.
"Apollo, release me!" He did and then took a few steps forward while he rubbed his brow. Artemis was still seething. Still blinded by the rage of Zeus that ran through her being. "How dare you! I trusted you! I trusted you, and then you and that seafoam-brained whore—!"
Okay, no. Apollo was not going to be the scapegoat for his twin's insecurities about parenthood. Was he her punching bag? Sure, on occasion. He knew her love taps were his "little sister's" way of showing she cared. But Apollo was not taking the fall for her failures as a parent.
"Enough, Artemis!" The god of the sun roared and whirled where he stood to glare at her. His rebuke of her rage stunned her into silence. He tapped the side of his head, slowly approaching his twin. "Do you even hear yourself right now or are you shouting just to vent?"
"You knew!" Anger and hurt reflected in his twin's silver gaze. "You knew he had fallen and didn't tell me!"
"Yes. Yes, I knew Naruto fell in love and I didn't tell you. Why? Because I knew you'd overreact." Apollo matched her scowl with his own, but kept his voice level.
It had to be the one thing they disagreed about. The only thing they ever disagreed about, really. That isn't to say they didn't have their quarrels. They've argued over who had the better shot (he did), who their mother liked more (him, obviously), of which of them had been born first (he was), etcetera and so on, but that was all just siblings being siblings. At the end of the day, they were still The Twins of Leto, Artemis and the awesome Apollo, gods of Olympus. However, when the subject of Romance came up? That's when the actual arguments started.
"Overre–? He is my son!" Artemis snapped.
"Oh, really? He is?" Apollo countered.
"Of course he is!"
"I thought you were going to revoke that claim?"
"Wha–Why would I ever–?!" Artemis trailed off and her eyes went wide. Apollo sighed into his hand.
"Yeah, exactly." He grumbled while he massaged his temples before he pinched the bridge of his nose. "By our Father's wrath, this is what you always do. You make snap decisions in the heat of the moment, and lash out like a child."
"I'm the child?!"
"Clearly."
"You–You don't even know how infuriatingly ironic that accusation is!"
"And you can't accept the fact that your son is growing up!" Apollo shot back. She recoiled as if struck.
"I–That's irrelevant!" Artemis scowled and steeled herself. "He has no reason to become like other men!"
"If you really believed that, then you should have turned him into an immortal youth when he was eight!" Apollo threw his hands in the air. "Honestly, Sis, what were you expecting? That he'd actually remain celibate? Or were you hoping that he'd turn out to be asexual like Hippolytus? Because the chances of either happening on their own were a thousand to one, and that's with me rounding down!"
"Eros could still be influencing–!"
"Asceplius and I cleared all of them of any traitorous god's influence when he was brought back from Hades!" Apollo snapped, daring his twin to question both his and his son's skill. She glared at him, but said no more. He took that as a sign to continue. "Sis, just—if you were smarter about it, you'd have messed with the hormones in his brain like an intelligent god would do, but you let nature take its course, so now here we are. Your stunted baby boy is growing up."
"Do not–!"
"What? Point out things that you never bothered to think about, let alone explore? Face it, Sis, unless you're following a trail of scat, you don't look ahead!" Now Apollo felt like he was on a roll. He'd apologize for the tone later, but this was something he felt in his ichor that needed to be said. "Instead of trying to talk or listen or understand your son, you literally jumped to the most extreme reaction and tried to flay him with words like he was sick with the plague."
"He is sick. The male chromosome–"
"Oh, don't even." Apollo rolled his eyes. Her attempts to hide behind modern mortal scientific terms was normally amusing, given how little she actually cared to know about it, but right now it was annoying. "How many Hunters have you lost because they grew closer to one another, more than you were comfortable with? How many came forward and had the stones to tell you outright? I can think of a few, but out of the hundreds of Hunters you've had over the years, tell me, Artemis, how many of them lasted as long as Zoë did?"
His twin was quiet. The mention of her former Lieutenant was a low blow, and the comparison she was used for even lower, but Apollo wasn't just being a dick for doing so. He was the God of Truths, and very few liked the Truth when it slapped them in the face.
"You have an agreement with the Amazons to trade off girls that want some romance in their life. Is that not a drastic change from being part of The Hunt? Is that not a slight against you?" Apollo asked coldly. Artemis looked down and he kept his glare up for a minute before he relented with a sigh. "Come on, Sis. What's really bothering you? And, yeah, I know part of it is that he is growing up, but we'll deal with your inability to accept that later."
"Why...Why wouldn't he tell me?" Artemis asked, her voice soft. Hurt. Afraid. Things that Apollo really didn't like associating with his twin. Alas, that she felt this way was to be expected. Seriously, sometimes Apollo felt like he was the only Olympian that understood how mortal relationships, platonic and romantic, actually worked.
"Oh, I don't know, maybe because he was afraid you'd react just like this? Because if not for my intervention, you were a second away from disowning the only boy you'd ever raise in your life?" Apollo pointed out. He took no solace in her flinch, but pressed on. "Let's not forget the 'betrayal' or 'disgrace' you kept harping about back there. Tell me, Artemis, what creature was floating in your head that you had replaced him with? The one that made a fool of you and your hunt back in the day? Be honest."
"...A...fox."
"A fox?" Apollo gave her a knowing look. "The Teumessian Fox, maybe?"
"..."
"Your silence is telling." Apollo scoffed and waved his hand dismissively. "You want some advice, sis?"
"Are you done poking jabs at me from your mountaintop?" Artemis sneered. The attitude was a defense mechanism he ignored.
"Are you done acting like a petulant child and ready to accept the hardest part of being a parent?" Apollo refuted. She folded her arms and kept a steady glare on him. He took it as a sign to continue. "I'll take that as a yes. Look, Artemis, if you want to fix this? Maybe listen to Naruto instead of screaming at him like you're one of Camp Half-Blood's harpy alarms. You know, engage in some basic communication? It goes a long way nowadays."
Artemis remained silent and pensive, her eyes stuck in a thousand-yard stare. Great, she was contemplating in his palace's entryway. She could be there from anywhere between an hour or a week. The sun god rubbed his face. He was drained from this entirely one-sided conversation and too tired to try and kick her out. While normally he would be over the moon for winning an argument with his twin, which was a rarity in and of itself, winning this one left a bad taste in his mouth. It was freaking Orion all over again.
"Well, this whole thing soured my holiday spirit, so thanks for that." He groused and willed his chariot's keys into his hand. "I'm going to go for a drive and mellow out. Lock up when you leave, please."
Apollo made it to the doors of his palace before a thought occurred to him. He turned and threw one more thing at his twin. An offhand comment, not meant to be malicious, but it was up to her if she took it as such.
"Be sure to at least say 'hi' to Mom. I'm sure she'd be more than willing to help you, if you let her."
Thalia let out a breath once the Letoides left. She hadn't expected Apollo to show up when he did, but she wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. If he hadn't been there and taken Artemis away when she asked — and gods was it like she was pulling her own teeth out to manage being that respectful while also being so pissed off — she might have had another Mount Zeusette moment and flipped out on them. Two in a week would be a new record; she was already pushing two in a month.
Thalia looked over at her still frozen boyfriend. Whiskers' face was pale and his eyes were vacant, staring ahead at nothing in particular.
Oh, Hoover Dammit! The last time he looked anything like this was after he had kissed her for the first time. Thalia took hold of Whisker's hand and gently turned him around. His eyes still stared at nothing and looked empty.
"Whiskers?" She kept her voice low and put a hand on his cheek. He jumped and a semblance of life returned to the blue orbs. "Hey. Hey, look at me."
He did, and Thalia felt a tightness form within her chest. For as good as her boyfriend was at disappearing at a moment's notice, either literally or into a role, he couldn't hide his emotions from her. The hurt she saw made her blood boil.
"I–...That–..." He choked out. He'd stumbled on his tongue in his effort to speak. Thalia hushed him and guided him to sit on the couch. He nearly collapsed into it.
Not good.
"Whiskers, you didn't do anything wrong." She assured him. His eyes drifted from hers as he withdrew into himself. Her hands moved to cup his face and her thumb stroked over his namesake. "Hey, no, come on. Look at me, Whiskers. Please?"
"She...She doesn't–" He swallowed and trembled under her touch as his eyes drifted once more. "She doesn't...want me."
"No!" Crap. Crap! Freaking—Gods, why did Artemis have to say that?! Thalia crouched and tried to lock eyes with him again. "No, Whiskers, that's not what–!"
"Thalia?" Samirah's voice came over from the kitchen. "Is everything okay?"
Oh, frick. The Valkyrie saw all of that. Frick on a stick, Amelia heard all of that! Fates, why?! Why were those three old hags such absolute bitches?! Thalia couldn't walk Whiskers through this emotional shutdown with this week's special guests in their kitchen! And she couldn't send them out after she fought with Zeus to keep them for the weekend! And she couldn't lie because...Well, it was too obvious what was happening!
Ugh, truth it is.
"Samirah, I have to deal with this," Thalia said briskly, looking away from her unresponsive boyfriend to meet the Valkyrie's gaze. "Take Amelia back to the guest room and play the board game with her. I'll come get you when I'm done."
"Are you sure–?"
"No, I'm not. But I know what works for Whiskers, and I know that it won't help if he knows anyone else saw him like this." Thalia frowned at the Valkyrie. "Please."
"...Very well." Samirah grabbed the young demigoddess' gift and guided her charge back to their guest room. "Come along, Amelia. Let's go play your new game."
"Will Naruto be okay?" The young girl asked worriedly. She was a sweet thing. Clearly, she'd be a good sort of demigod when she got older.
"I'm sure Thalia will handle it." The Valkyrie promised optimistically. She looked over her shoulder and met Thalia's gaze. A camaraderie was exchanged between them in that instant and she sent a nod back before looking back at her catatonic boyfriend.
"Naruto." Thalia cupped his face again and gently stroked the left topmost whisker. "Please look at me."
"She doesn't want me." He murmured. The rims of his eyes glistened. Oh, gods if he starts crying, Thalia might actually lose it. "She might have never wanted me."
"Bull." She cut down the thought immediately. "Whiskers, you are the Son of Artemis."
"In name only, if barely."
She pinched his cheek, right where the middle whisker lay. He jumped and his eyes focused on her, a hint of annoyance surfacing in the absentee oceans. Good. He was in there somewhere.
"Don't." Thalia ordered. "Just, don't do that. Not now, and not ever. It never helps."
"But–"
"Whiskers, it was the heat of the moment, that's it. Artemis is a child of Zeus. Trust me, she didn't mean it." I hope.
His blue eyes looked up at her with a strange combination of fear and hope. It made the tightness in her chest fill with a suffocating amount of worry.
"Why would...Why would she say that?"
Ah, good. Analytical, to the point, her Whiskers was coming out of his shell.
"To be fair, we did kind of expect something along those lines from her when she found out." Thalia mumbled. Granted, she hadn't expected the goddess to all but disown him so blatantly. Seriously, was that what Artemis' temper was like when Hunters broke their oath? No wonder many, including Apollo, were leery of making her angry.
"Yes, but only after we could tell her..." Whiskers trailed off uncertainly.
"Would you have?" She gave him a pointed look.
"I mean...Eventually?"
"Exactly." Thalia sighed out, brushing his hair back. It was stupidly soft as per usual. She straddled his lap and let him wrap his arms around her. She let one arm drape over his shoulders and rested her head against his. "We knew she'd react when she found out. This way it's done and over with. The band-aid's ripped off, now we just have to keep from picking at the scab."
"So... we just let her cool down."
"Pretty much."
"...Is that the key to dealing with all of Zeus' children?" A smirk played on his lips. Ah, and there's the snark that didn't make him endearing at all in the slightest. Oh, who was she kidding? Thalia loved his snark.
"Watch it, buddy." She poked his nose with a playful glare. "One of us is still a living lightning rod."
"Such a benevolent and kind girlfriend I have." Whiskers chuckled. He rested his head against hers and lively blue oceans stared into her eyes. Oh, gods, Thalia felt the heat creep up the back of her neck when he smiled. That just wasn't fair. "I love you, Tree Girl."
"Sap." Thalia shot back even as her heart thudded in a staccato. She brushed her lips against his and smiled into the kiss. When they parted but a second later, she rested her head against his. "I love you, too, Whiskers. Regardless of who your parents are."
"You mean my scary mom and my dick of a dad?"
"Yeah." Thalia sighed as her eyes opened to stare into his again. A thought crossed her mind and she hesitated before she broached the subject of what happened on her birthday. "Do you–Do you ever wonder what made him leave us alone? At Storm King, I mean."
"Honestly? I try not to think about Arashi too much. It just makes me angry." Whiskers admitted with a shrug while his thumb traced circles in her hip. Thalia fought back a groan. He needed to stop, that was distracting. Since he wasn't a mind-reader, he didn't stop and continued with another shrug. "As far as I know, my birth mother died due to his absence, if not due to him directly, and then he tried to kill you twice. Brainwashing or not, it's hard for me to forget that. Even if he begged forgiveness and laid the head of Hecate in front of me, I don't think I'd care all too much if he dropped dead."
"He's still your dad. Don't you wanna talk about it?"
The thumb stopped moving and his soft stare frosted just slightly.
"Do you wanna talk about Beryl?"
That was a low shot, but Thalia understood. Arashi was a topic not to be touched upon.
"Ahem, moving on," she said, looking away from him to recollect her thoughts. Her stomach let out a low growl. Perfect! Now to speak before he comments on it. "I think we need some comfort ice cream."
"...It's not even noon yet." Whiskers deadpanned.
"I've got a very overwhelmed and scared sweetheart that needs to be comforted," Thalia said before smirking. "And I'm sure the Valkyrie and the six-year-old demigoddess wouldn't mind some, either."
"Funny." He drawled before he gave her a genuine smile and he kissed her again. Gods, would her toes ever not curl whenever he kissed her? Part of her hoped not. They parted after a good few seconds.
"All part of my charm," Thalia panted. She swallowed, enjoying the taste of her boyfriend's lips on her own. Di Immortales, the things that this boy did to her. "So, can you get me a bowl of double hot fudge with M&Ms?"
"...I thought there was a sweetheart that needed to be comforted?"
"You can't multitask?" She arched her eyebrow and clicked her tongue. "We might need to reconsider the terms of our relationship."
Whiskers let out another chuckle and tightened his arms around her. Thalia grinned and reciprocated it. There was still hope for this Christmas to turn out all right. After all, she still had to give him her gift; she couldn't wait to see his reaction to the collar she picked out.
It was going to be hilarious.
"Aw, that was cute."
Minato Namikaze smiled as he stared into the crystal sphere that hovered in front of him. It was a simple thing to make with the aid of Senjutsu. He just had to compress enough minerals hard enough and form a Rasengan and presto! Instant viewing glass.
She's a smart one, he mused. His son had picked a good girl to be with. Fiery like a roaring flame, but soothing like a summer breeze when it was needed. Much like his mother.
The painful memory made Minato resist the urge to keep watching, as he had been since the immortal essences that had surrounded his son had left. The past few days since his self-inflicted exile, he would spend up to an hour spying on his son from the peak of Storm King mountain. Outside of that, was meditation and balance.
It almost felt like he was training with his master again. The perverted old toad he used to learn under was one of a kind, and as uncomfortable as the lessons had been — especially during his adolescence before he and Kushina began their relationship — they did their part. By the end of his apprenticeship, Minato knew what to watch for and could read micro-expressions better than most shinobi twice his age.
Well, at least there's less perversion involved in this. Minato thought wryly as he caught the crystal and tucked it away, in order to resume his meditation. A niggling feeling in the back of his head made him sigh.
"You may as well show yourself." He called to the empty, snow-ridden peak. Discreetly, a tri-pronged blade slid into his hand. His eyes narrowed, still locked in the thousand-yard stare while his senses tried to hone on the anomaly and the lighthearted gleam hardened into two, toad-like golden orbs. "I may not know how to differentiate your energy from that of others like you, but I know when an immortal is nearby. I will not go back to enslavement without a fight."
"Oh, thank Buddha for that! I was getting so-o-o bored!" A flower that had sprouted from the snow to his immediate left twisted and grew, morphing before his eyes into a man-shaped figure. His face looked more feral, with his choppy sideburns that nearly met at his chin. A mane of golden hair rivaling Minato's in thickness curtained down from his head, giving the immortal the appearance of a monkey. A golden circlet rested around his head and bright brown eyes that gleamed with a passionate fire hidden within met Minato's gaze. He was clad in robes that were filthy, torn and battered, with golden scaled armor shamed in a manner that reminded the Yondaime of the Samurai of Iron.
"I can't tell you how exhausting it is to spy on people. I mean, mortals. No offense, they all just tend to do the same thing: Wake up, have sex and kill their enemies." The immortal rolled his hand as a golden tail flicked about behind him. "Rinse, wash, repeat. Talk about Dulls-ville. But then you and your boy showed up and started shaking up the lives of those Mountain-loving deviants!"
"…Who are you and what do you want with my son?" Minato asked coolly, his grip on his kunai tightening. The fight against the Masked Uchiha was still fresh in his mind despite the time he lost as Hecate's pet. He still had yet to find any trace of his wife.
"Who am I? Who am I?!" The immortal looked affronted. He spun on the heel of his foot and Minato was struck with nostalgia as the immortal began a series of kabuki-like dance maneuvers. "I am the Dòu-zhànshèng-fó! The Qítiān Dàshèng! But most know me from my infamous title: Měi Hóuwáng!"
The monkey-like immortal flashed him a grin that gleamed. Nostalgic feelings aside, Minato continued to give the god a wary stare. His past experience with deities was limited, but he had been the Hokage for a reason. His time as a field operative proved to him that everyone had the potential to be a dangerous enemy, from the smallest, innocent child to the frailest looking elder, and while he liked to give people the benefit of the doubt, he was already jaded from being enslaved by a goddess. (The only relief he felt from surviving that endeavor was that Hecate didn't demand anything sexual from him.)
"Nothing?" The immortal frowned and straightened out. "Seriously? No reaction at all? No questions about my flying nimbus, the power pole, or what 'The Lookout' looks like?"
"Your what, the what and where?" Minato almost lost his connection with natural energy from the confusing query.
"You really are the real deal." The god scowled and crossed his arms. "Go figure, Fatso was right again. Dang it, now I'm out a handful of peaches…"
"I'm-I'm sorry?"
"Nah, not your fault. I should really know better by now." The man grumbled as he put his hand on his hip and dug his pinky into his right ear. He pulled out a large golden flake of something, sniffed it then flicked whatever discovery he made off to the side. "Ah, well. Name's Sun Wukong, I'm more commonly known in these parts as 'The Monkey King'—"
Recognition flared in Minato's eyes. Arashi had done his fair share of research early in his servitude, and had stumbled across "A Journey to the West" within Hecate's collection of tomes. It was riddled with notes and Greek markings, but Arashi (and hence Minato) found it a fascinating look at a time that resembled the world he remembered. Questions started to fill his head, almost distractingly
"— I have an offer from Buddha for you, Minato Namikaze, if you could focus for a second, I would gladly share it."
Minato flushed and glowered at the smirking immortal. He'd been caught spacing out very few times, but the grin he was getting from the god was too similar to his predecessor's. It was the smirk of an old man that knew what you were thinking and why you were thinking it. Minato did his best to quell his troubled thoughts of the past to focus.
"An offer?" He asked. The Monkey King nodded his head. "Then why were you spying on me?"
"Curiosity." Wukong admitted with a careless shrug. Minato's Sage-like senses flared when the Eastern god began to mold chakra. Wukong twisted his hand as chakra flared around it. "My pantheons are originators of chakra, but we don't recall any clear-sighted mortals within recent years capable of molding it along with the natural energies of the world as well as you do. Of course I'd planned to question you on it, but you were meditating. I am capable of impoliteness, but interrupting one's meditation is not something I condone."
"…I suppose that's fair." Cautiously, Minato slipped his spare kunai back into his sleeve. He folded his arms and arched a brow. "Now then, what's this offer?"
AN: Sorry folks, had today off so I caught up on much needed sleep.
You know it's bad when you see purple dinosaurs on the television.
Singing purple dinosaurs...ridiculous, am I right?