Disclaimer: Don't own PJO or the Whiskered Warrior.
Lunar Phases
Blood Ties
Divinity.
The trait recognized by mortals that is present in the immortals that rule over them. It is a rarity that mortals obtain such, but it is not always granted when one is made immortal. Aeolus, King of the Winds, knows this all too well, for his mind is constantly on the brink of shattering. Whenever he petitions to Zeus for such a boon, to ease his troubles, he receives a candy made of egg whites.
January 24th, 2009
Thalia groaned and pushed herself to her feet, she put a hand to her ringing head as she did. She shrugged the pain off and turned to glower at the cause. Her vision was spotty, but cleared with a few blinks and her hearing returned in time for her to catch the last words the apparent bloodsucker said to her boyfriend while holding him at bay with a sword.
"Uchiha has come to play, no need to be dis-gus-ted."
"...You need better taste in music." Whiskers retorted with a snarl on his face.
Thalia huffed in agreement. She was baffled at how that stupid rhyme's continued to be so popular with the children of mortals. Whiskers rolled backwards to his feet to avoid another slash and, in the midst of another jump back, chucked a crescent shuriken at the vampire. Rather than dodge, the undead creature took the throwing weapon to the chest without so much as flinching.
"Ouch, that nearly made my heart stop in agony. Please, no more, I beg of you." The dopey hat wearing vampire snorted. Thalia scowled, so he had an immunity to silver, huh? Well lightning seemed to work on him before. She didn't bother charging, just sent what static she had into her spear and flung it forward. He didn't even look back as he swung his sword behind him to redirect the next blast of lightning at the wall. She scowled, how the heck did he even do that?
Glossy red eyes flicked over his stupid dress to meet her gaze.
"Fool me once, Yankee Girl, shame on me. Fool me twice, you die horribly."
"That's not even close to how that saying goes." Thalia grumbled. Her already bad mood had increased tenfold because of this freak. It was taking all of her willpower not to pull a Mount Zeusette on the building, if only because she liked living here. …Also, because of the innocent unaware mortals that also resided in it.
"Makes sense in my tongue." The creepy jerk shrugged with a far too toothy grin. He rested his sword on his shoulders and pulled the crescent shuriken out of his chest. He tossed it carelessly aside and scowled at her. "Now stay out of this, Barbarian Girl. The Yankee and I have unfinished business."
"We do?" Whiskers frowned. He met her baffled gaze with one of his own and shrugged. Either this was another one of those times he was falling into a character on the spot, or he genuinely had no idea what the freak was talking about. Judging by the shared sense of confusion they had expressed, and from the frown that remained on his face, Thalia was willing to bet it was the latter.
"Yes!" The undead creature snarled at him, red eyes flashing. "What, did Khonsu make you forget when you interrupted my duel?!"
"Probably, I wouldn't put it past him."
"...I'll have to kill him next." The delusional monster grumbled. Whiskers arched a brow.
"You can get to the Du'at?"
"Now? No, but that is a matter I will resolve in due time. First, I'll kill you and then worry about killing him." The vampire shrugged before he grinned again and lifted his sword to align it at Whiskers' chest. "Now hold still. This'll only hurt a lot!"
"You have terrible banter."
Way to state the obvious, Whiskers! Thalia groaned as the vampire lunged forward. Her heart almost stopped before she heard the telltale sound of steel clashing. Whiskers' axe locked up and diverted the Vampire's sword. Her boyfriend had absolutely no sense of self-preservation and that was going to make her go grey before she hit twenty.
"I've been whittling away at it—Do not attempt to criticize me, human." The Vampire spat as they struggled against one another. The undead youth's brow twitched. "How in the Heavenly One's true name are you matching my strength?! You're just a human!"
"We're all very stubborn." Whiskers grunted and his blue eyes flashed red. He flicked his gaze over at her and his brows rose up expectantly. She frowned. He didn't actually want her to–? An urgent and expectant curl of his lips had her scowl. Of course he did, of course her suicidal boyfriend wanted her to attack now.
If they made it out of this alive, she was going to kill him herself.
With a resigned sigh, Thalia once more lifted her spear and focused as she called upon her father's domain for more of the ambient energy that crackled secretly in the air. To her surprise, it rallied en masse. The crackle the gathered lightning gave off sounded like a locomotive in motion, and hence, it had the vampire glance towards her. The one visible red eye widened as he realized what she planned to do before it narrowed sharply.
"Don't. You. &%*$ing. Dare."
"Watch me." Thalia sneered before she thrust her spear forward.
"Inbred, temperamental, barbaric, sow!" The vampire snarled as it broke away from Whiskers by driving his foot into her boyfriend's gut, launching him back down the hall. Their parting meant that her blast missed both of them. It barreled through a wall, and then another, and another, and then another past that to emerge out of the window. Wow, she's so glad she doesn't have to cover the damages for that.
...I really hope I don't have to cover the damages for that. Thalia grimaced. How would I even cover that? I don't have a job. That Woman didn't have a dime to her name when she passed and, as far as I know, 'daddy dearest' doesn't have any money stashed away for me—
"Thalia, pay attention!" Whiskers' warning snapped her from her financial thoughts.
Stupid ADHD, focus on the fight! Thalia chided herself when she realized that the vampire was on her before she could bring Aegis out. She was forced to defend purely with her spear, which was not the ideal method for a Greek demigod to fight. One slice that came too close to shaving more than the edge of her hairs off with its sword.
She compiled her electricity once more, focusing it to the tip of her spear. She was aiming for raw penetrative power and waited until the damned thing made another flashy attack. Like it just did, in an attempt to cleave her in half, the vampire leapt up and raised its sword over his head. The distance between them was not enough for him to avoid it.
"Dodge this, Paste Face!" Thalia thrust her spear towards it and concentrated the lightning into a fine beam instead of an encompassing blast. It penetrated through the monster's stomach and it was knocked to its back several feet away
"Gah, you bitch!" The Vampire groused as it rose up and examined the basketball sized hole in its gut. A pale hand rubbed at the charred and burnt cloth it wore. Red, pinwheel-like eyes lifted up to glare at her. "Do you know how hard it is to replace this silk?!"
"What? Don't have the stomach to take it?" Thalia sneered as she charged up another shot. "And here I thought we were having a ball!"
"...Too quippy, Tree Girl."
"Shut up, Whiskers!" She glared past it at her boyfriend. Who did he think he was? The king of quippage?
"Call it like I–Thalia, it can heal!"
"What?" Thalia gaped at the hole's closing. How the heck was it doing that?! A crumpled paper slipped down through the hole to land on the floor with a splat just before it closed to a baseball's size. The vampire snatched the paper back up and devoured it again.
Gross. She shivered in disgust. That was needlessly unsanitary.
"You are very lucky that I carry my sustenance in a satchel and not on my person." The vampire groused after it had swallowed the paper. That had just been through its esophagus. Twice.
So gross. She thought. Also–
"Eating paper helps you heal?" She asked. Her grip tightened around her spear and she gathered another burst. More subtly this time, or as subtly as lightning could be. "That doesn't make any sense."
The Vampire sneered at her.
"It's more complex than that, you insufferable, mouthy–!"
Tch, typical moronic monster. Thalia thought before she fired her charged blast as it talked. Annie was right, sometimes you just have to keep 'em talk—
Its sword flicked out and deflected the blast. Again.
...Dammit.
"Hey, fang-face." Whiskers dropped in on it from behind. He drove his axe into the living dead's clavicle, through the back of its chest, and nearly bisected it at the hip. The Vampire shrieked at the damage that was done, but Whiskers ignored it. "Did you forget how to dodge?"
"...No…" The vampire gasped before grinning. "But you did."
The undead monster's blade flipped in its right hand and was stabbed through its own stomach. Whiskers grunted and his narrowed eyes squeezed shut. The impact must've knocked the wind from his gut.
Thalia huffed, that thing's sword wasn't going to pierce his shirt. For once she was glad he had such a bad habit of wearing the same shirt, even when she told him not to. The thing was enchanted by Leto to be impenetrable after all. She'd have to get the Titan-goddess something nice as thanks.
Whiskers suddenly coughed up a thick glob of ketchup onto the vampire's shoulder.
What a weird thing to cough up during a fight...wait, that's pretty dark for treated tomato juice. It looks more like...Thalia's thought trailed off and horror crossed her face as it dawned on her.
"No!" Thalia shot forward, determined to get the vampire away from her impaled boyfriend before he was drained. The bloodsucker glanced at her, the pinwheels in his red eyes shifted and spun. Then something knocked her off of her feet and sent her sliding down the hallway. Once she stopped, she pushed herself back to her feet and sprinted back to the fight.
"How—?" She heard Whiskers gasp.
"You really did forget, didn't you?" The Vampire chortled. Thalia hated the sound of its voice, like nails on a chalkboard. Then he started cackling, and that was worse. "Oh, Yankee...Yankee, Yankee, Yankee...I planned to save this for your final moments. I never thought it'd come this soon."
His left hand, the free hand, began flipping through several gestures. Familiar gestures. No, not the same as what Arashi had used, but...similar enough. Her eyes were wide as the realization sank in, stupor slowing her sprint.
"No–"
"Way." Whiskers gasped. The Vampire grinned.
"Way." He chuckled. He ended the gestures with two fingers extended. "Chidori."
Birds screeched as lightning erupted from his hand in an endless shower of sparks.
Whiskers screamed.
Thalia screamed in defiance and threw her hands out. She tried to pull the lightning away. To guide it to the monster's organs and cook the &$* with its own attack. To her dismay, the impossible happened.
The lightning conjured by the Vampire ignored her efforts to control it.
The vampire laughed.
"So ends our grand rivalry, Yankee! You will go out not with a bang, but with a pitiful whimper! Like the worthless dog you are!"
A bright flash of golden light engulfed the hallway. It was so bright that Thalia had to shield her eyes. She wasn't going to complain about Apollo's sudden appearance, but she was going to suggest he tone down the flashy entrance next time. The chirping (and Whiskers' screams) died down and an unholy, shrill, wail came from where the vampire and Whiskers stood. As the shrill tapered off, a chant was heard. Thalia peeked through her arms into the light.
"Yu Mo Gui Gwai Fai Di Zao. Yu Mo Gui Gwai Fai Di Zao. Yu Mo–" A white-coated figure, glowing with what she vaguely recognized as divine energy, chanted while waving a glowing ...onion? Whiskers was tossed aside, his hands pressed into the hole in his stomach. Thalia made to help him, but was stopped by the glowing figure, his free arm holding her off from bypassing him.
"Lord Apollo, get out of my—!" She started, but stopped when she saw the figure's face. Her jaw fell and her eyes widened. Cautiously, she took a step back, and static covered her fists. Her teeth grit and her eyes narrowed. "You!"
The Assassin of Hecate, Arashi, paid her no mind, aside from barring her advance, he continued chanting and waving the onion.
"–Fai Di Zao. Yu Mo Gui Gwai Fai Di Zao. Yu Mo Gui Gwai Fai Di Zao."
"No!" The Vampire's shrill scream tapered back into normal speech. His hands pressed to the sides of his head and he stumbled away, red eyes squeezing shut. "I won't go back! I won't go back!"
"Yu Mo Gui Gwai Fai Di Zao. Yu Mo Gui–"
"This isn't over, Yankee!" The Vampire shrieked before it turned and threw itself through a wall. Then another. And another. Arashi ran to the hole and tossed the onion after it. A sonic boom rang out and glass shattered across the building. The assassin's shoulders slumped and he cursed.
"Dammit, I've got to relearn how to restrain myself." He sounded more frustrated with himself than she'd thought possible. He mumbled something further in a language she didn't understand and rubbed his forehead. His attention darted to his right, and Thalia followed his gaze.
"Whiskers." She sighed in relief, seeing him push himself back to his feet. She was at his side with quick strides and helped him lean against a wall. Her distrusting gaze flicked to the glowing assassin before she muttered lowly: "How bad?"
"Still bleeding internally. Punctured organs closed. Need a few minutes to heal everything else." He muttered back. His glare remained locked on hisfather's form. His lip curled and a low growl emanated from his throat. "Arashi." The would-be assassin flinched at the vitriol in his voice. "What are you doing here?"
"Er, uh…I-it's Minato."
Thalia blinked. She and Whiskers shared a confused glance. Then they looked back at his dad.
"What?"
"My name." The assassin muttered, his eyes averted. "It's not Arashi. It's Minato Namikaze."
A young waitress grumbled under her breath as she heaved the trash bag into the dumpster behind her workplace. A Wok in the Clouds was a great place to work, but the one thing everyone on the job hated was being part of the cleanup crew. There were still six more bags, each bigger than the last, and the lunch rush hadn't even started yet.
Huffing, the girl pulled her bangs back up out of her face and went back to get the rest.
As soon as she closed the door, a pale figure fell out of the sky into the dumpster with a loud bang. Smoke wafted off of its shaking form as it crawled out and flopped to the ground. It cursed in every language it knew as it brushed the filth off of its form and forcibly snapped bones and joints back into position before rigor mortis locked them in place. Once that finished, it slammed a fist into the side of the metal bin.
"Dammit." The fist landed again and the metal dented further. "Dammit. Dammit!"
Everything ruined by the unthinkable!
A fledgling god from Tian in New York City, the lands supposedly under the control of Olympus' gods.
A god armed with the very clove of vegetable and knowledge of the spell that could revert it back to a weakened state.
What were the odds of that happening?!
No matter, easily remedied and manageable. It just needed to recover its energy. The Jiangshi grumbled under its breath and dug around in its satchel—Or it would have if the satchel was there. It whipped around and dove into the dumpster, searching for it.
No luck.
There went the easy, trail-less method.
It hopped back out of the dumpster and scowled. It would have to do it the old fashioned way. That was less discreet than what was preferred by the Coven of Elders.
But then, when did it ever care about their opinion?
The restaurant door cracked open and a shocked gasp caught its attention. Red eyes swirled and fangs were bared in a nasty grin.
"How far I've fallen." It mumbled as it approached the horrified mortal. "To resort to eating fast food."
The hallway was quiet after the older blond spoke.
No lies. The man's being honest. The Fox muttered. Let him get close and then rip his trachea out.
"...I don't have nearly enough blood in my system for this kind of conversation." Naruto grumbled, closing his eyes and resting against the wall. Thalia huffed out a soft laugh, unaware of the double meaning his words had, but kept a wary gaze on his father. Arashi, Minato, whatever he wanted to go by. The man was an assassin, and Naruto didn't trust him as far as he could throw him.
"I, uh, I might have some bandages somewhere." The man started to pat himself down, only to pause. "Wait. Maybe I could–hold on."
He looked at his hands before he closed his eyes. He took a deep breath and grunted. A combat-ready bag with a red cross plaster on it appeared, caught in his outstretched hands. The assassin opened his eyes and grinned.
"Hey, it actually worked! That's certainly nifty, don't-cha think?"
Naruto stared. There was not a flare of energy, the bag had just appeared. As if he'd willed it.
"Thalia."
"Yes, Whiskers, I saw it, too." Thalia scowled. "Magic."
"Er, actually, I uh...I made it." Ara-Mina–...His Father held the bag out with one hand while the other reached behind his head and scratched. He laughed sheepishly. "I guess divinity has its uses after all."
Did…did he just say divinity? A small voice asked, and froze all processes in Naruto's brain.
…Fox?
No... no-no-no. The Fox chanted in denial. No. NO! I refuse to believe he's not lying or misleading us! Not when he's rightthere!
"...Well, do you–?"
"I don't need your help." Naruto spat, glaring daggers. His father's smile waned.
"Ah, right. This must be terribly uncomfortable." Talk about an understatement of the freaking millennium. His father put the first-aid kit down, then took several steps back. "There you go. Uh, please, take care of yourself."
"...It's booby trapped." Thalia accused, glaring at him with as much dislike as Naruto felt. Such a smart girlfriend he had. He assumed the same, given the man was an assassin.
"What?! No!" His father said, aghast. His hands waved frantically in an effort to dissuade such thoughts. "You have my word as a God of War–"
"Bull!" Naruto and Thalia glared at him even harder, judging by the distrust that spewed out of their mouths simultaneously. The man winced.
"No, really, I am. Albeit I'm a fledgling and supposedly temporary placeholder...I hope…"
He's still not lying...The Sonovabitch is a &%*$ing God of War! The Fox snarled. Give me three minutes and then we can rip his head off to test the limits of his immortality. First, you'll have rip out his larynx, he'll never see it coming! The rest comes easy, just a quick jerk to the right then left!
While the idea was certainly appealing to some part of his baser instincts, Naruto didn't feel like getting into it with a god. He was too tired... No wait, that was the internal bleeding that sapped his energy. He pinched the bridge of his nose. What a headache.
And the ozone smell was back.
Great.
"Seriously, I am in no mood for this." His girlfriend groused, still glaring at his father. The knuckles of her hand that held her spear were white and the tip crackled with the might of Zeus that she inherited. "Today is not the day, dickbag."
"That's...rude, but fair." Ara–Minato muttered. "Because of the Jiangshi, correct?"
"That's part of it–A what?" Thalia blinked.
"Essentially a Chinese Vampire." Naruto muttered, that made sense. He wasn't too familiar with the blood sucking variant, but he had heard of it. He hadn't familiarized himself with enough of eastern lore since his last trip to the Far West, as Uncle Fred dubbed it. That was…gods, that was a decade ago at least.
"I'm sorry, it's from where?" Thalia looked between him and Minato. His father foolishly chimed in.
"China. Well, technically, from what I've discovered, it is a turned servant created by one of their hundred and fifty gods of death. It fell from the grace of Tian in the early years of the Zhou Dynasty—"
"I didn't ask for a history lesson. Just say 'yes, it's Chinese'. That's enough for me." Thalia cut him off with a tired groan. His father blinked and then sheepishly scratched the back of his head again.
"Oh, yes. Sorry. I guess that would have been rather long-winded… I'm really failing at conversing after being under her thumb for so long."
Naruto knew exactly who he was talking about. He was surprised to hear the vehement tone, and more than a little surprised that he didn't use Hecate's name. Perhaps his father was smarter than he let on. Not by much, clearly–And now Thalia was giving him the 'You fought Lycaon alone' look.
"So, Whiskers, why is that G-Hanky obsessed with you?"
"Jiangshi." Minato corrected.
"God or not, I will fry you again." Thalia glared at his father over her shoulder. Wisely, Minato started to examine the ceiling.
"Ah, the violent type… just like Kushina…" The man muttered. Naruto furrowed his brow and wondered what that meant. He all but immolated when he caught the next bit: "Didn't think that was genetic."
Wow, that's a lot of ozone in the air.
"Wanna say that again?" Thalia snarled, the tips of her ears bright red.
"Just admiring the architecture! The, er, ceiling tiles are different from what I'm familiar with. Very artistic, didn't think it was possible to combine a strong structure with such fine detail."
"...Uh-huh…" Thalia pursed her lips and then glared at him again. "Whiskers."
"Like I said during our encounter with him, it was probably something Khonsu did," Naruto sighed. He looked down at his stomach, checked the pierced part of his shirt and scowled. He had to get that fixed. The ozone smell lingered and he groaned at the faint sound of a crackle. "I honestly have no idea, Tree Girl, really. If I knew, I wouldn't keep my mouth shut. It wouldn't help."
Thalia stared at him for another moment before she pinched the bridge of her nose. Her lip curled in annoyance when she lifted her head to glower at him. Then she punched his shoulder.
His bewilderment at being hit was plain for all to see.
"That was for getting wrapped up in an Egyptian's mess." She muttered. She collapsed her spear and crossed her arms. "This is what happens when you deal with a loan shark god."
"He's a Trickster God."
"Same thing!"
"If I might interject…" They both glared at Minato when he spoke up. He had another sheepish grin on his face and held a finger up. "Um, I...I have reason to believe that the, um, single minded focus on your demise is partially due to the creature's psychosis."
"Oh, what? Are you a god of psychology, too?" Thalia snorted. His father blinked.
"No...Wouldn't have minded that, I don't think." He rubbed his chin and then shrugged. "No, but the god that turned me into a god told me so."
"And that god is?"
"The Monkey King, Sun Wukong."
Naruto stared at him. His eye twitched.
He's lying. He's lying. He's lying. He'd better be lying!
He's not. The Fox grumbled.
Alright, it's official…I &*%$ hate The Fates.
You kiss your mate with that mouth?
I will cut my arm off and bury it so far deep under Olympus—!
That wouldn't get rid of me and you know it.
Naruto let out an earthshaking growl before he trudged past his father and grabbed the back of his jacket. The 'divine' assassin yelped and went limp, allowing himself to be dragged along. Whether he was humoring Naruto or genuinely trying to keep him from snapping by going quiet, the Son of Artemis didn't know nor care.
"What's our next move?" Thalia asked as she fell in step with him.
"Food and answers first. We're sapped and in the dark about this Jiangshi. Since he seems insistent on sticking around, for whatever reason, my Father will be buying."
"Wh-What?! B-but, I don't have–"
"You're a god." Thalia pointed out. "Just make it."
"Wait, are-are you saying...I can just make money? Isn't that bad for the economy of this country?" His father fretted. Naruto growled again.
"I don't know and I don't care. You're buying. End of story."
"Um, sure! I-I'll see what I can do?"
Being a god was...different. He was aware of so much more, especially of conflicts happening around the world. Strife and hunger caused by his new domain begat more anger and hatred in the citizens involved with the conflicts. It was terribly distracting, so much so that he'd not taken time to look into other aspects of this country. Minato was completely in the dark about the sociological, economical and political status of the United States.
The first few days were used to become used to his newfound status - there was a lot of screaming at nothing in those early days of divinity. When he got over the forced ascension, he only focused on researching the Jiangshi and keeping tabs on his son. He should've listened to his gut and used Shadow Clones, mental backlash be damned.
Otherwise he wouldn't be in this situation.
"...Um, sir, I'm sorry, but we don't accept...gold nuggets." The girl at the counter said, looking stunned.
"I'm so sorry." Minato scratched his head sheepishly. He gathered them up, turned away and then set something else on the counter.
"S-Sir, these are diamonds."
"Oh, right." They didn't value gems here either? Come on! "Er, um, will platinum work?"
"A card should—."
He set a sheet of platinum on the counter. The cashier stared at him.
"Never mind. No. We don't accept platinum."
"Aw, shoot. One moment. I am so, so sorry for this." He said to the line behind him. The people were entranced by his display, all pretty forgiving despite the time he was taking. A few of the women smiled at him politely, big wide smiles on their oddly red faces and murmurs of 'real magic' came from the kids that accompanied them. He turned back to the poor cashier whose life he was making so needlessly difficult as he pulled another item from his godly mind. "Sorry. Um, …huh, what are-?"
"I-It's okay, sir–Are those war bonds from World War II?"
"Do you accept them?" He asked hopefully.
"N-No, bu–"
"Dagnabbit." Minato frowned and sent the crinkled, aged bonds he manifested back to wherever he had gotten them from. He glanced over at his son, silently pleading for help.
Naruto was staring at him, a deadpan look on his face, from his seat in the booth with his food in front of him. His girlfriend, Thalia – such a pretty name, even if it sounded foreign and odd off of his tongue, but then again so did theirs from what he understood – was rubbing her face with her hand, the other holding a half-unwrapped burger. Strange that she was so hesitant to indulge in eating when she had commented on how hungry she was earlier.
Seeing no form of support from them, he turned back to the cashier. Doing so, he caught sight of a small bin that had a donation sign attached to it. Papers were stuffed in there along with coins. An idea formed.
"Er, so...Aha!" Minato pulled out a green slip of fabric-like paper with a chubby old guy on one side and a building on the other. "Here we are! This is a, uh, one hundred dollar bill! Er, can I get change please?"
"Of course, sure." The dazed cashier mumbled. "Your total comes to, um, twelve, thirty-two. …Here's your change."
"Thank you so much." Minato flashed a kind smile and put the fifty, another slip with yet another old man and building on either side, in the donation bin. The girl's eyes were glued to the bin as he turned and carried his drink over to the table. He sat and took a sip from his choice of tea. He fought back the unpleasant scowl that almost crossed his face. The 'sweet tea' that was advertised at this establishment was riddled with artificial flavoring.
Disgusting.
His son was staring at him. Minato blinked.
"What?"
"...Mom just might forgive me for my 'stupidity' once she learns how bad you are." Naruto muttered.
"You've met your mother?" Minato asked, looking at his son with wide eyes.
"Yes. I have." His son's pierced eyebrow – Why would Kushina even let him do that to himself?! He looked like such a-a ne'er-do-well! …Right, because she's Kushina. – rose up. "She raised me for the first eleven years of my life, after all."
"Can we not talk about Artemis right now?" Thalia asked with an annoyed look on her face.
Minato tried not to let his dismay show. Ah, yes. That would be who he meant. Kushina, she must have been. The mortal-turned-god stared down at his drink as grief overcame him, oblivious to the fight that broke out two seats away caused by his chaotic powers of War. He looked up when his son started to speak, though the words were directed at his girlfriend.
"You know, if we ask her nicely, she might be able to help you–Right, not talking about her right now." Naruto muttered and looked away when Thalia's sideways glare fell on him. He plucked a few fries into his mouth a bit and met Minato's gaze with a sour one of his own. "So, Sun Wukong?"
"Hm? Ah, yes. He, uh, he sought me out. He told me to apprehend that Jiangshi and...well, during that conversation he decided to turn me into a god." Minato muttered. He tapped his finger on the paper cup. "I don't know why he did that."
"Does it matter?"
"...Whiskers, he was an enemy. Now he's a god of war." Thalia glared, looking away from the burger she held as if it were a bomb, and Minato flinched. "And tried to kill me. He nearly killed you. Twice!"
"Words cannot express how very sorry I am." He managed, bowing his head in apology. "I will endeavor to make it up to the both of you–"
"That's gonna be hard to do when you leave this country." Naruto growled. He took an angry bite out of his double cheeseburger. It was admittedly impressive how he managed to make that so intimidating.
"Leave?" Minato frowned. "I still have a job to do. I can't really just up and leave. I have my professionalism and reputation at stake."
"Seriously?" Thalia frowned at him. He grimaced. Right, probably not the best choice of words considering the contract put on her. Thankfully, he could consider that null and void since it was made under false pretenses.
"Your 'job' requires you to get the leech that's coming after me," his son said, drawing his attention. "Best way to get him is to be by me. Problem with that is, I don't want you around us."
W-Wow, he certainly has Kushina's bluntness! Minato felt some sweat go down his neck. Huh, so even the divine sweat, how strange to learn.
"Especially when you-know-who finds out." Thalia mumbled, tentatively biting into her burger. She moaned in delight and slumped against Naruto, her eyes closed in bliss as she enjoyed her meal. Cute. Weird, but cute.
"Your mother?" he asked, looking at his son. Naruto scoffed and swallowed his next bite.
"Tree Girl's dad. You know, The Thunderer."
Ah, yes. Zeus. From what he could recall, the King of Olympus was very intolerable of other divines in his territory. As a former leader himself, Minato found it a reasonable, if extreme, approach to diplomacy. If he was found out to be a foreign deity by the King, the chances he would survive such an encounter were slim.
That would be, what the children of That Goddess called a bad day.
"Right." Minato grimaced. "I'm sure if the situation was explained properly, he'd be understanding. Even if they spoke down about him, I'm sure he'd be reasonable. I've read he was a god of wisdom, so he must have tempered his, er, reputable temper over the millennia."
"..." Thalia looked at him as if he declared he was joining the Stone Village.
"...Am I mistaken?"
"My Dad and Tempered in the same sentence. Never thought I'd hear his status as a god of wisdom used either." The prickly girl muttered in disbelief.
"Outside of Athena's birth, anyway." Naruto mumbled. Thalia snorted and took another bite of her burger. Another adorable sound of bliss escaped her as she leaned on his equally amused son.
"Alright from that response then we should not tell him I'm here. Fair enough, I can just hide."
"You're kidding, right?"
"What? I'm a shinobi, a Kage. I know how to hide." Minato huffed. His son gave him a flat stare.
"I don't doubt that's something impressive, given it sounded like a title, but you've caused five fistfights in the past hour." He deadpanned. Minato blinked.
"Huh?"
"You're a freshly turned God of War," the teen said. Naruto pointed his finger at him. "You've inadvertently been causing fights. Bringing about darker feelings to the surface. The Battleluster does that, too, and so do several members of Boston's pantheon."
"I-I would never!" Minato sputtered in shock. He could just get people to fight? What a barbaric power.
"Not on purpose, no. It just happens whenever your feelings get dark. Lock it up."
"His 'feelings'? Since when are you a Jedi, Whiskers?" Thalia asked. Naruto gave her a sidelong glance.
"A Jedi, I am not."
"Funny, Yoda. Care to explain how-?"
"I don't know. It's not my ability."
Minato blinked. It wasn't him? What did that mean? ...Oh, wait.
"You mean," he blinked. "The-the Kyubi can sense my feelings?"
He'd never heard of it being able to sense such things, but then, Kushina wasn't keen on using its power. Neither was Lady Mito, as far as he knew.
Naruto's eyes frosted over and an impressive amount of killing intent began to leak out of his form. His cold blue eyes briefly flashed red.
"How do you know about The Fox?"
"It was sealed inside your mother. Your birth mother." Minato answered somberly. Wood cracked and Minato's eyes dropped to his son's hands. They were gripping the edge of the table. Tight. One lifted up and pointed at him.
"Let's get one thing clear," Naruto growled. "You…You don't get to talk about my birth mother. You left her to die."
For the first time in many years, Minato was overcome by something he hadn't felt in decades.
Pure, unadulterated rage.
Faintly, he was aware that someone had just burst through the doors and fired a gun. People had started screaming. He didn't care. His attention was locked on his son, even as his knuckles bled white.
"If I could have been there, I would have been there!"
"You left her alone! Pregnant, bruised, and cut!"
"I had no control over that!" He snapped. They were both standing now, glaring at each other. There was a faint mutter of warning from Thalia, but neither of them truly heard it. It was as if the world had gone mute around them.
"What was it then? What, was she just a-a one night stand?! A prostitute you didn't want to deal with?!"
"That is my wife you're talking about!"
"Then why weren't you there?! Why didn't you help her?!"
"I wasn't there because I've only been in this world for eight months!"
A silence fell between them. The fight fell out of Naruto's shoulders as confusion crossed over his face. A series of footsteps made him glance at the would-be robber as he walked over.
"Well," the ski-masked crook jangled a bag out towards them. "This looks like a nice family moment. Sorry to interrupt, but I just need to make a withdrawal–"
"Go. Away." Minato glared at the gunman.
The man vanished in a flash of light, only a pair of shoes left in his wake as ash fluttered to the ground behind where he once stood. Blue eyes flicked over to the others with him, shaken by the demise of their fellow. The small band of thieves became smears of ash on the ground, with only their boots remaining.
People screamed again.
Minato didn't care. He was too angry from being judged for something outside of his control. Being accused by his own son of killing his wife, of leaving Kushina to die–...It hurt. It hurt in a way that only the Masked Man –– Wait.
"The Masked Man." He mumbled, the memory dawning upon him and flashed across his eyes in an instant
"Who?" Naruto frowned.
"He did it. He took you hostage when you were born. Released the Fox and sent it to go on a rampage. It's all his fault! All of it!"
He hated that Uchiha. He hated him so goddamn much. He hated him for what he did to his friend's wife. For causing his exhausted wife's distress. For how he made Minato feel, for how powerless he had been to stop him. For what that utter bastard had tried to do to his son!
"...That's–That can't be right." Naruto frowned. Minato arched an eyebrow. "My mother – uh, Artemis, I mean — she-she helped my biological mother give birth to me. My birth mother gave her my name."
"That can't–wait a minute. If that's the case..." Minato rubbed his chin. His eyes flicked about as his thoughts raced.
Their histories couldn't be that radically different, it was an impossibility that the laws of the natural order, godly interference notwithstanding, would not abide by. Naruto didn't come off as the sort to lie, and Artemis, for all he's heard and read of her, was not one to deceive others, so that likely meant his story was true. And Minato, well, he remembered the fight with The Masked Man too clearly for it to be an implanted memory, the words, the feelings, the sounds and the smells. If it was a false memory implanted in his mind, it was a damn good one. But that would leave–No, he had to double check. Minato bit into his finger and pulled it across the table in several jerky strokes.
"You've only...you've only been here for eight months?" Thalia asked softly.
"Yes," Minato said with some frustration. One was spent confused in a fugue state. Six belonged to Hecate. The last was used for adjusting. "Carry the y, apply the Second's theorem…"
"...I've been here for my whole life." Naruto slumped into his seat. "How is this…?"
"I'm working on it." Minato grunted, waving him off. "...Don't forget Hiruzen's Appropriation formula, and consider the smell of the sound of the color purple – Two seconds. I've almost got it."
"Got wha–Whoa." Thalia mumbled. He felt her eyes on his hand, going over the formula he'd scrawled across the table in his blood.
"Divide by four...No. Dammit!" His bleeding finger curled into a fist as he stared over the engraved table. The mathematical formula stared back at him, its cold truth unflinching in its existence. He braced himself on the edge of the table and scowled. "I knew that I had been displaced – because I couldn't have conceived you when I was ten–"
"Thank the gods for small mercies." Naruto muttered.
"But," Minato, though aware of the words, ignored them. "I thought that was due to a fault in a rushed Hiraishin seal. If this is right and...and it really looks like it is, I think we're the remnants of a destroyed parallel universe."
"How did we get here then?" Naruto mumbled. Minato almost chuckled. Wasn't that the question of life?
"...You've lost me. All I know is you just did a lot of math and got pissed about it. That's where I step away." Thalia admitted, her hands rubbing her face. Good on her. It was important to recognize one's shortcomings.
"That's just me getting my thoughts in order."
"Whatever. At least The Mist is doing its job." Thalia sighed.
"...The Mist–? We need to leave." Minato bit into his thumb again, scrawled a sealing seal onto the flat of his other palm and sealed the table, and the equation on it, away. He glared around at the various humans that weren't moving. He wanted to kick himself, blocking out their screams was a terrible idea. He was exposed and in the open.
"Naruto!" He hissed at his son. The poor boy looked lost and confused. His eyes started to glaze over and glow green.
Minato cursed and grabbed his son by the wrist. He pulled the teen in and drove his fist into his son's gut. The same gut that had just been impaled and electrocuted not an hour prior, now hit by the force of a freight train. (Hopefully it wasn't too damaging, Minato had tried to hold back.) The green glow died and Naruto was knocked out cold.
"Hey! What the heck was–?" Thalia shot to her feet and glared at him as he hoisted his son's now unconscious form over his shoulder.
"She's coming and I won't let her take him again." Minato nodded at the doors. A thick cloud of smoke started to seep into the building from the front doors. A feeling of nausea started to fill Minato's gut and his head began to throb with a mild headache. He and Thalia glanced at the gas as it rose and began to take on a humanoid form.
"Arashi...Is that you?" A familiar haunting voice echoed through the building.
"We really need to go." Minato mumbled.
"Yeah, okay, good idea." Thalia muttered. They ran for the counter, hopped over it and raced through the kitchen to the back door, then past that through the streets.
"We need somewhere for Naruto to recover. Somewhere I can fortify," Minato said as he looked at the demigod. As odd as it was for him to follow the lead of a teenager, she was more knowledgeable of the world than he was. "Which way to the camp for demigods?"
"Uh, well, we can't, um...That's not a good idea."
"Why–Oh, right. Zeus would notice me." Minato nodded.
"Yep! Sure, that's it. Can't, uh, can't have you go and get eradicated before Whiskers can kick your butt, for once."
Minato frowned. She was too eager for him to take that reasoning.
"Okay, do you have any other ideas?"
"...I have one." Thalia muttered. She sounded unsure, but at least she had an idea. That was better than nothing.
Pollux was on top of the world.
He'd gotten an iPod Touch for Christmas from his father. His father. The God of Wine had gotten him a piece of technology that he genuinely frowned upon for existing. It was an awesome gift for many reasons, but first and foremost, it was capable of downloading a text application that he could use to stay in touch with his girlfriend.
On that note, Pollux had a girlfriend! Three weeks and going strong. Stacy was just as sweet and funny as she'd been when they were younger. It reminded him of better times, of times before Camp. Times before...before Castor died.
The hollow feeling in his chest started to come back. Pollux did his best to ignore it and the hot tears that built in his eyes.
No, come on. I've got a few months before camp starts up again, I can pretend to be happy for him until then, Pollux told himself. He held no doubts that he'd be dead before the war was over, but he wasn't going to dwell on those thoughts. The doorbell rang and he got up from his place on the couch, texting Stacy that his dinner was here and he'd talk to her later. He smiled at the cute emoji she sent back before he went and opened the door.
Thalia Grace stood on the other side, and behind her was…Not Naruto. Could've passed for his brother, though–Oh, there's Naruto. Unconscious. On the other guy's shoulder.
"...Come in." Pollux ushered them in and checked the hallway before he closed the door. He turned and took in the sight of Naruto's brother laying his friend on the couch. Pollux set the locks on the doors – they wouldn't amount to much against a monster, but they'd do enough – and then looked at Thalia, who sat on the coffee table to stare at her boyfriend. "What happened? I haven't seen you guys since the party."
"It's... a long story." Thalia mumbled, looking down at Naruto as her frown became more prominent. Pollux crossed his arms.
"I've got time."
AN: Well...Dues Ex ftw?
Sorry, distracted by Kenobi. From a writing perspective, the character-driven story is fascinating thus far.