Disclaimer: Don't own PJO or the Whiskered Warrior.
Lunar Phases
Disputes and Distractions
Debate.
A process in which two parties present arguments to show support for or to rebuttal against opposing viewpoints. Typically, it's an event reserved for the political stage and henceforth is often performed in front of a stage with a singular moderator. For the Greek Pantheon, when such events occur, often the moderator and opposition tend to be the same person: Zeus. As the God of Justice and highest form of Law in his family, Zeus is the judge, jury, and executioner. However, in rare occurrences, the Queen is known to make her own ruling over such public squabbles, but again this is rare.
January 25, 2009
"O dear Iris, Goddess of the Rainbow, please show me Hera, the Queen of Olympus."
The message shimmered for a moment and Leto wondered if she pushed too far.
The small brush of fear she felt vanished once the Queen's visage was displayed before her. She was seated behind a fine ornate desk, small reading glasses bridged across her nose and various scrolls and papers in front of her. Leto felt her dark brow arch.
"I wasn't aware you needed glasses, My Queen."
"It's just for the aesthetic, I assure you." Hera drawled, not looking away from her work. "I'm not Zeus, who is so easily blinded by the whims of his lessers or his lusts."
Leto barely withheld her snort and the queen cracked a barely perceivable smirk. In another, far different time, where the thoughts of her beloved children weren't even yet considered possible in her mind, Leto and Hera had actually been quite cordial. Daresay, they were even quite friendly. Sadly, like all things it was unleashed upon, Zeus' libido ruined it. Their relationship was fractured and a confidant suddenly turned into a detested subordinate. Time was the only reason Hera came to forgive Leto.
Time and a lot of grovelling.
"My grand humor aside, what is it that has you seeking early release from this 'punishment'?" Hera asked. Leto didn't bother asking how she knew. The Queen of Olympus had oversight of the Heavens and Winds themselves and, given the war, was verily invested in keeping tabs of Iris' calls.
"My Grandson needs my assistance."
"What does Asceplius need that Olympus cannot supply?" Hera asked, confused.
"My other grandson, your grace."
"...Hymen? I thought he stopped speaking to you after—Ah, you don't mean Janus, do you? Need I remind you that since his brilliant plan to keep the two camps separate was enacted, the King really does not like it when Greeks and Romans interact like that."
"Artemis' son, Queen Hera." Leto sighed. They'd be here forever if she didn't get specific. Hera put down the paper that was in her hands.
"Ah, the mortal." She frowned and removed her glasses. "The one who consorted with the Norse and Egyptian pantheons. You seek to end your punishment early to aid him?"
"Yes, your grace." Leto nodded. Hera sat back in her seat and steepled her fingers.
"He's also in...that child's company, is he not?"
Ah, yes. Thalia's presence did irk the queen something fierce. That could be a problem.
"I...I believe so."
"Hm." Hera tapped her fingers together. Ohh, the contemplating facade. Never a good sign when dealing with the Queen of the Heavens. There was only one way to deal with this.
Beg.
"My Queen, please." Leto dropped to her knees before the Iris Message. "My grandchild is a clear-sighted mortal. He may not come from my daughter directly, but he has proven himself to be her son."
"Oh, has he now?" Hera's sneer was not genuine. Leto knew this because the curl in her lip was too pronounced from being forced. The genuine article was not as prominent, her face would be a tad golder from the ichor that would rush to it, and the goddess would have radiated a lot more malice. Leto knew this too well because she had etched that angered face of Hera's into her memory.
"He slayed Lycaon," Leto offered. "He killed the bastard king that sullied Zeus' honor thrice while acting as his host and the mortal who has spat upon the word of all Olympians since his curse was bestowed."
"A remarkable feat…if not for the fact the boy also exposed unworthy mortals to Egyptian magic in the process." Hera countered. Her immaculate left eyebrow raised in an arch. It was a challenge, a test, for what purpose Leto was unsure, but she would meet it.
"He aided in the rescue of both his mother and a loyal demigoddess, one that your grace favored, and aided my children in their fight against Atlas."
"The aid given to Artemis was expected since he was a probationary member of her Hunt at the time." Hera waved off the example. Leto frowned and racked her brain.
"He once more aided your favored demigoddess and the other quest-takers in their search for the Labyrinth," she said, then added, "Were it not for Zeus' decree of his being banned from Camp Half-Blood, he would have aided the campers in the battle–"
"A hypothetical act does not equate to an actual one." The Queen sniffed. "And he did not exclusively help the quester."
Right, Thalia had been on that quest as well. Drat.
"He infiltrated the Titans' forces and returned a weapon that had been commissioned behind Lord Hades' back."
"From my understanding, he was enthralled by Hecate's magic and had aided in the theft of the sword in the first place." Hera scoffed. There was just no pleasing this goddess was there? Ah, right, it was Hera who Leto was trying to persuade. Also known by younger goddesses (major, minor and outsiders alike) as Resting Bitch-Face Incarnate.
Lupa even agreed to that.
Lupa.
The thought of the wolf goddess brought up the incident Apollo had shared with her on Boxing Day. Leto pursed her lips, seeing as Hera had shot down all other arguments, she pressed on with the gossip.
"He bested The Norse's Trickster."
Hera...pursed her lips. Yes. Finally! Leto willed back the smile that threatened to break.
"...He did, didn't he?" Hera tapped her desk with a finger as a pensive frown crossed her face. Her brow furrowed together slightly, showing she was deep in thought.
"Besting a god of lies in a contest of wits is something few demigods can claim to have done. Especially when the god is as caustic as Loki." Leto pressed on.
"Indeed." The Queen hummed. Slowly, a smile spread across her face. "Yes...This does prove he has the potential to be a hero. A True Mortal Hero. One we've not seen since their Age passed eons ago."
Ah, yes, Hera did have a particular fondness for mortal heroes. Demigods, she tolerated, save for the ones that came from her husband's loins. Nor did she smile much upon Poseidon's or Hades' halflings. Actually, it was Demeter's children who received the most affection and favor of their benevolent 'Auntie' Hera. Alas, the noteworthy children of Grainzilla were few and far in between for her to show such favor.
With the war on the horizon, open conflict would be inevitable. If nothing changed, losses would be massive for the deities of Mount Olympus. For Olympians, like all pantheons, needed followers and faith to affirm their rule and existence – Poor Pan, the sweet lighthearted offspring of Hermes, was proof that the gods could be bested outside of battle – and her grandson's legend, as much as Leto hated to use him in this way, could influence more mortals. That was worth more than some easily spawned demigods, regrettable as it was to think. Hera knew this, as The Queen she had to know this, and Leto knew this.
Which was why she pressed on.
"If I may, your grace," Leto began, stirring the queen from her thoughts. "My grandson, Artemis' adopted child, may be able to do what no demigod could."
"Oh? Please, do tell."
Leto expressed her idea and Hera's pensive smile grew into a genuine one.
"An enticing plan. One worthy of Athena, to be sure," the Queen said when she had finished speaking. She tilted her head in thought. "The King must not learn of this. Not while our Fathers walk once again."
"I shan't speak a word." Leto bowed her head.
"I know you won't." Hera nodded. She was quiet for a moment and made Leto stew in her impatience. "You may consider your punishment lifted, Leto. But know this, if the denizens of Olympus are drawn into conflict over the loyalties of a mortal, that mortal's life will be forfeit."
Leto wouldn't jinx the issue with assurances, she merely nodded her understanding.
"You are dismissed." Hera finished. She cracked a smirk. "Do tell me how Artemis reacts to your idea."
The Iris message cut off and Leto swallowed. Artemis would be utterly irate if she caught wind of the plan before it could be enacted. She shook her head. Her daughter's ire would come regardless of when she learned of the plan.
First, I must adjourn to my grandson's side. Leto decided, snapping her fingers and changing her clothes. A simple sundress that melded patterns of silver and gold replaced the revealing bikini she once wore and she grabbed her bag. Then, with her focus on the piercing Artemis had enchanted, Leto was away from the hotel.
The mortals wouldn't remember seeing her leave.
But one nosy sun god would become quite curious.
"That was the last drachma I had on hand." Naruto sighed as he rubbed his head. He'd been doing so since he'd turned the shower off after his grandmother essentially hung up on him. He should've just messaged Asclepius directly, but he didn't want to get chewed out for his medication being blown up. The god of medicine took healthcare seriously and, regardless of fault, would not hesitate to chastise his cousin for his recklessness.
The irony was palpable.
Not to mention, he hated disappointing the tolerable medicine god. The last thing Naruto wanted was to be limited to dealing with his Uncle Fred on a regular basis. He loved his uncle, don't misunderstand, but gods above did the god of music grate on his nerves.
"So now what do we do?" Thalia asked. He saw a hint of worry in her eye and he sighed.
"We'll have to go back to the apartment somehow. Maybe Minato can sneak us in with some kind of chakra spell or godly magic–"
A rapid knock came at the door.
"I've got it!" Minato called from the living room. It took a second for the words to register, but Naruto realized a few things in the instant that they did.
One, Minato hadn't been listening to their conversation as he thought he would be. That yielded more mixed feelings on the man-turned-god that was his sire. Not enough for him to like the man, but it rose his respect for him in more than just combat.
Two, Minato was about to open the door that was just knocked on. That would raise questions considering the occupant of the apartment was not presently home. On that note, Naruto needed to leave a message of thanks for Pollux and declare their slates equal.
Three, Minato was a god of war that had absolutely no control over his domain-related abilities. To say his biological father was an emotional mess would be an understatement. At best, Minato might accidentally knock out the poor innocents also inhabiting the apartment. At worst…
Someone's going to get blown up. The Fox mused, unintentionally finishing the blond mortal's thoughts.
Naruto hated it when The Fox was right. He ushered Thalia out of the bathroom, getting affronted words of annoyance that were half-expected from his man-handling, and raced for the door. Alas, he was too late.
"...Er, Naruto." Minato turned to him, face pallid as he held the door open for whoever it was that had knocked. "You, um, you have a visitor! You should have told me we were having company. I-I would've made tea."
The visitor in question was his too serenely smiling grandmother that currently had the patented 'Mom Glare' locked on his biological father's head. She was garbed in a sundress that was covered in intertwined gold and silver patterns. Dark hair cascaded down over her bronzed shoulder and nary a hint of age was present in her features, despite both the younger mortal and demigod knowing otherwise.
Leto looked radiant regardless of being livid.
"Please, good...sir," she spat the word out like it was a curse. "State your business in our territory or I will have to remove you."
"By, uh, force, I presume?"
"Heavens, no! Who do you take me for? Krios? " Leto laughed before she smiled in a manner that promised nothing pleasant. "No, I will remove you from this place by taking your ear and throwing you through a few walls. Perhaps a few buildings."
"Right. ...Naruto, I believe her." Minato whispered out of the corner of his mouth. His father could be an idiot, but at least he seemed to recognize danger when it mattered. So, that was something promising he learned about his progenitor.
"As you should." Leto huffed. Her cold gaze turned to regard him and warmed up significantly. There was still a question burning within them, one that was silently asked by the next word to leave her mouth: "Naruto."
"Gran-Gran," he said in greeting. "I can explain him–"
"After you've been blown up?"
"Technically, it was the apartment that was blown up," he pointed out. "I actually wasn't in the vicinity when it happened."
"Oh, honey." Leto cradled his cheeks in her hands. She pressed her lips to his forehead in the traditional grandmother peck, before pulling away to smile at him. "Forgive me if I don't believe you. You've a penchant for seeking trouble."
"Understatement." Thalia snorted and crossed her arms. Naruto mock-glowered at her once Leto stepped back.
"Whose side are you on, Tree Girl?" He asked. He shouldn't have been surprised by the cheeky smirk she sent his way.
"Lady Leto's, of course."
"That is why Thalia is favored, she has common sense." Leto nodded. The daughter of Zeus beamed at the minor goddess' praise. Naruto let their byplay brush over him with a roll of his eyes. His girlfriend needed a small ego boost after the past few trying days. His grandmother reclaimed his attention with a clearing of her throat. Her eyes darted to Minato. "So, Naruto, who is this stranger that resembles you so much and why is he in your friend's home?"
"Ahem, well, I'm his–"
"I was speaking to my grandson." Leto's polite yet curt interjection made Minato's mouth click shut. The younger blond male in the room was impressed.
"He is my biological sperm donor." Naruto answered flatly. The Fox barked out a laugh and Minato looked wounded. He could be as hurt all he wants, Naruto still had mixed feelings on the man-turned-god. Mostly negative ones at that.
"I see," his grandmother said, giving his father a once over. "Well, you certainly inherited some dashing features. What do you think, Thalia?"
"No comment." Thalia grunted, crossing her arms and glaring at Minato. The dusted red in her freckled cheeks almost made Naruto smirk in pride. Almost. Instead, he gave Leto a brief summary of their relationship with his father.
"He was also enthralled by Hecate and nearly killed us."
"Ah. I see." A thick pressure filled the room. Nothing as heavy as the amount that had been thrown around by the Twelve Olympians, but certainly impressive all the same. He and Thalia clasped hands, reassuring each other that they felt Leto's anger and had no desire to succumb to it. His grandmother's intense 'Mom Glare' was once more leveled on his father, who backed away into the wall
"Against my will!" Minato had his hands raised in an effort to palicate the Titan-Goddess. "It was a subverted, borderline perverted, portion of my consciousness that did those things!"
"Yet here you are, with the stench of foreign immortality wafting off of your skin." Leto all but spat the words. "Care to explain that?"
"I, um, used my talents with melding chakra and natural energy to break free from her control, but in doing so I drew some attention from another pantheon." His father admitted. Naruto was impressed with the brutal honesty, but not surprised. Minato hadn't been anything but forthcoming with information. While most would trust him from such displays, his son still held him with a healthy sense of suspicion. The man had been turned into a god after all. Naruto snapped himself from his musing as the man-turned-god in question continued adamantly, "I most certainly did not ask for this supposedly temporary godhood!"
"...Not many do." Leto let up on the pressure that filled the room and gave him another once over. "Temporary, you say?"
"My divinity should be removed once I assist Naruto with the disposal of a threat." Minato explained. He folded his hands behind his back and his posture straightened out – clearly he was confident that the Titaness wasn't about to attack him. "Please, I don't mean any harm to my son. Nor do I want to incur his wrath by attacking his girlfriend...again."
&*%$. Naruto cursed as he and Thalia exchanged a sidelong glance. He just had to let that slip, didn't he?
The cackling in his mind made him snap.
Shut it, Energizer Fox!
Stop calling me that!
"Say that again?" Leto suddenly had the lapels of his father's jacket in a tight grip and had pulled him close to her face.
"Uh, I uh, I swear! I don't want to hurt Thalia Grace again!"
"No, not that–Well, no, that is good to know," his grandmother amended with a tilt of her head. Then she bored glowing eyes into Minato's wide blues once more. "The other thing!"
"Uh, that I'm helping Naruto kill the jiangshi that's after him?"
"...Slumber on, Gaea–Also good to know, but not what I'm interested in! But be assured we will return to it. No, the relationship they have! What was it!?" Leto's voice rose in pitch and Naruto bit his lip hard enough to bleed. That was a high pitch. It hurt him physically to hear it.
"Oh." Minato blinked. "You mean how they're boyfriend and girlfriend?"
Leto all but shoved his father to the floor and Naruto found himself pulled up into a bone-crushing hug before he could blink. Many things cracked and everything hurt. The Fox roared its laughter once more.
"Oh, happy day!" Leto cried, rubbing her head against his. "My sweet grandbaby's growing up! Naruto, I'm so proud of you!"
"Bones! Breaking! Gran-Gran! Please!" Naruto gasped. Gods, his grandmother's strength was ridiculous when she was excited.
"Oh!" His grandmother thankfully put him down. He let out a shuddered whimper as his body slowly recovered. "I am only a little sorry about that, sweetie. It's just, oh, I was worried you'd end up celibate like your mother. Ah, and Thalia!"
"No hugs! Please! I, uh, I just had a procedure two days ago!" Thalia wisely protested the eager affection from the Titan-Goddess. She probably shouldn't have mentioned the procedure, though.
"Oh? Is everything okay?" Leto asked, concern written on her face. Naruto took a moment to note his girlfriend's apparent unease with being cared for. She had averted her gaze from his grandmother.
"Er, yes, but...I'm still-still a little sore." The last bit was said quietly, but Naruto heard it all the same. His instincts flared and his hand balled into a tight fist, nails digging into his skin. It took his entire wealth of self-control to keep from following through on the bizarre want to snatch her up and lavish her with affection.
Yeesh, The Fox grimaced. That wolf broke you good.
Shut it, Fox, before I find you a drum to play! Naruto snapped back.
"Has something happened?" Leto asked. She put a hand on Thalia's shoulder. "Were you hurt? Are you okay?" Her eyes left Thalia's to meet his. "Naruto, you didn't let this girl get hurt, did you?!"
"Never!" Naruto denied with a heated snarl before he groaned into his palm. He felt Thalia's annoyed glare bore through his head. "...Medicine. I need my medicine."
"I'll go get it in just a minute. First things," Leto said, before she looked Thalia in the eye. A long moment of silence passed before she beamed. "Oh! Well, that's a very mature decision! Good on both of you for being so responsible!"
"...Did you just read my mind!?" Thalia all but shrieked.
"Gran-Gran!" Naruto snapped.
"Yes, I did," Leto said to Thalia before she looked at him with wide eyes. "What dear?"
Naruto was at a loss for words. At first he thought Zeus was the reason Uncle Fred had no sense of ethics. Now he wasn't as sure.
"You can't just–! That's not–!" Thalia struggled to find words, and instead just let out a sound of exasperated frustration. She pulled herself out from Leto's grasp and threw her arms up. "That's it, I'm out! Whiskers, get your family in line!"
"Gre-e-eat. Thank you, Grandma." Naruto mumbled as he watched his girlfriend storm out of the apartment's living room. He grimaced when he heard a door slam and the lights flickered. Geez, and she'd been doing so well at keeping herself together.
Look on the bright side, The Fox made itself known with its own brand of snark. At least she didn't have another Mount Zeusette episode.
Your commentary is so unwelcome right now.
That makes it the perfect time for me to speak.
"What? Is mind reading still a social faux pas?" Leto frowned. She looked like she wanted to chase after Thalia, but Naruto knew from experience that was the last thing that needed to happen right now.
"A bit, yeah." He rubbed his forehead. "There was the whole thing where I was enthralled by Hecate because one minor god — who shall remain nameless in my presence — got in Thalia's head."
"I really didn't mean any harm–"
"I know, Gran-Gran." He believed her. Leto was too kind hearted to do anything cruel to someone's head intentionally; without it being retribution, of course. Naruto sighed and let his hand fall to his side. "I'll talk to her, but please. Please go to Asceplius and get me some of my medication."
"I will." Leto smiled. She hooked Minato's arm with her own. "But this temporary god is coming with me."
"Okay." Naruto shrugged. Honestly, he did not have a problem with that. "Just so you know, Gran-Gran, he's been turned into a god of war. He's not good at controlling his powers yet."
"Wait, hold on, what?" Minato apparently did have some protests to make. The look sent his way was a cry for help if ever Naruto saw it. Sucks for him. Naruto waved with a small smirk as his biological father was dragged off by his grandmother.
I almost wish we went with them. The Fox mumbled. Now it's just you and your mate, alone in this hovel.
Yep. Just us. Alone. Naruto let those words sink in. His blood ran hot. He was already moving before he realized he had an idea in mind.
...Your mother would be ashamed of where your mind just went.
Yeah, well, we're not speaking right now anyway. So what's one more thing? Naruto thought as he sought out Thalia in an effort to raise her spirits.
Or distract her.
Or hopefully do both.
"Um, Miss Leto, c-can I have my arm back?" Minato asked as he walked through the city with the Titaness holding tight to his arm. As soon as the door shut, his son's adoptive grandmother had asked a mortal woman where the nearest pharmacy was and then pulled him along.
"Oh, come now," Leto said, patting the arm she had trapped. "It's not often one outside of my family line gets to escort me through The Big Apple. Am I so undesirable?"
"Uh, I don't know if I should answer that." Minato muttered. He knew about the fickle nature of women, he'd been married after all. Those of the divine nature were likely ten times, nay, a thousand times worse. "It's a little awkward for me to walk like this."
"You seem to be managing fine. Are you one of those dancing gods of war from the Orient?" She teased with a warm smile. They had dancing gods of war in this universe? He had to look into that. First, he had to mind his manners. Jiraiya, wherever he may be, would be affronted and upset if he ignored the beautiful woman clinging to his arm.
"No. Actually, I'm not even sure why I was turned into a god of war." Minato admitted, his brows furrowed. "I mean, sure, I was a Hokage and–"
"You were what?" Leto asked, brows furrowed. He blinked. Ah, the position must not exist here.
"Well," he said. "For lack of a better term, the position is comparable to that of a dictator, but we were in service to the Daimyo – that is, the ruler of the land. We lived in the Land of Fire, so...Hokage."
"So you were a Warrior-King?"
"Er, it was more like being the chosen Commanding General that would train and prepare the forces of the King." Minato shrugged before he thought about it. His free hand cupped his chin. "Although, to the villagers that resided within our walls, Hokage, or any Kage for that matter, may as well have been a king. Our word was law and we did have final say on a lot of matters."
"So Naruto is a prince! This is wonderful." Leto beamed. "Zeus will have no grounds to oppose his and Thalia's eventual union."
"Is...Isn't he the King of Olympus, though?" Minato asked, trying not to think about the baby boy he barely held already getting married. That Naruto was not the same as the one here, yet was. Ugh, it hurt his head thinking about it and he was a god.
"Yes, and that would matter if Thalia were a goddess. However, despite being the King's daughter, Thalia is a demigod." Leto explained as they made a left turn and strode up another block. Minato took note of the distance they've covered. It seemed to be further than the pharmacy was that the kind neighbor they'd stopped earlier had directed them to. Leto's voice pulled him from his thoughts. "...And yes, The King has many children, but every time he has a demigod, his penchance for favoritism and fatherly nature rears its head. Alas, it's been millennia since he had a demigoddess to dote on. Hence, being a prince works in Naruto's favor. Royalty attracts royalty, after all."
"Right, but...My, uh, position doesn't exist in this reality. I don't think The King would recognize it." Minato argued. He had heard a lot of things as Arashi about The King of Olympus, mainly how he was an unruly usurper unbefitting of the throne he warmed, but also that Zeus was...well, he was a typical egotistical ruler. Now, when Minato's free time was used to research the stories of the Olympians, he understood that not everything Zeus did was just to be a dick. There were probably better ways of handling some methods, but none that would be as quick as the ones a young and fledgling God King would take.
"Perhaps," Leto conceded. "But...if Naruto were to be recognized by Olympus as a whole as Artemis' son…"
"They don't?" Minato frowned.
"Not everyone. Trivial politics and particulars interfere with Artemis' claim." Leto sighed. "That and Zeus' ridiculous decrees against him. Honestly, though, what else was the boy supposed to do? Risk death at the hand of a foreign god and therefore risk another World War when Artemis sought justifiable vengeance?"
Flashes of massive battles crossed Minato's mind's eye. In the instant she had mentioned the conflict by name, the one shared by it and its aptly named sequel, he was granted understanding of it. As if he'd participated himself. He was horrified, shocked and awed by what he learned.
"That...would be bad." He finally managed to mutter.
"Yes. Yes, it would." The Titaness smiled. "You're very quick on the draw, aren't you?"
"I've always been a fast learner. Being a god probably enhanced that." Minato smiled sheepishly. He tilted his head in thought. "Actually, I'm surprised I haven't been noticed by anyone else by now."
"Oh, that's in part due to my presence." Leto said. "I'm quite talented at concealing myself and others. Back in the day, the queen of Olympus and I...well, let's just say I suffered a slip of rational judgment and was on the run for some time until our grandmother took pity on me and gave me sanctuary."
"Oh. You're speaking of The Letoides' birth?"
"Yes."
"That makes sense." Minato hummed. His brain was racing at the implications before he looked at Leto suddenly. "You can't completely hide my signature, can you?"
"No. No, I cannot."
"So then, our travelling by foot–"
"Is to scatter your deic power across the city." She nodded. The Titaness of Motherhood was shrewder than she let on. Minato felt his guard go up. She patted his arm again. "It's also to inform others that you are being escorted."
"Ah, yes, thank you kindly." He said politely with a small bow of his head. It would be rude not to acknowledge the lengths the Titaness was going to for him.
"Let me be clear, I'm not doing this for you. Were it up to me, you'd be scattered across the city in bits and pieces, fully aware and completely alive." Leto's smile took on a crueler glow. "I am a deity of motherhood and you harmed one of my grandchildren."
"Oh." Minato gulped. That was extreme, but also fair.
"The only reason I've not acted is because you were not in total control of your facilities." She added. "Were it not for your boon of immortality and godhood, I'd just rip the information I want right out of your pretty little mortal skull."
"Right." Minato tugged at the collar of his navy shirt. How had it suddenly gotten so warm in the middle of January? It was like the sun was- oh, right. Blue eyes drifted up to the sky, and in the speck of the sun, a glimmer of metal was spotted. "Um, are you aware–?"
"My youngest has always been a dutiful and protective son. He's got his father's temper along with several other unsavory traits." Leto sighed. She sent the chariot a small frown. "But that is no excuse for him to be slacking off!"
The heat that was encroaching upon them started to fade and the sun became less intense.
"Ah." Minato really didn't know what to say here. He was terrible when things got tense and awkward. Kushina would just blunder through a conversation if silence took it. And now he was sad again.
"So?"
"Hm?" Minato sobered at the question. "I'm sorry?"
"I've managed to convince my youngest to avert his attention," Leto said. "And I all but told you that I wish to know the man that sired my beautiful single daughter's son."
"...Um." He blinked once. Twice. And quite a few more times as he tried to gather his wits. "Well, uh, I-I don't think you should phrase it that way."
"I know what I said." The smile on her face promised nothing good. Minato didn't need to know Leto that well to recognize the smile of a plotting woman. Kushina had the same smile whenever she had a plan to get back at someone that wronged her. Miraculously, he'd managed to stay off the wrong side of that smile.
"Ah, well then." He cleared his throat and decided to tell the scary immortal everything she wanted to know so that he could keep his streak going. "Um, almost thirty years ago, I was found in a raided village outside of what would be my home, Konohagakure no Sato…"
"I didn't know how much I needed that." Thalia mumbled, resting her head against her boyfriend's shoulder while they lounged on the couch in an intimate embrace. They were both sweaty, their dignities preserved only by the decorative tiger-striped blanket that was set on it, and their heart rates were only just settling back down. Their clothes were pretty much scattered about the apartment, courtesy of a release that caused her to tap into her rarely used aerokinesis. She wasn't entirely sure how this tryst started, nor why, but she was glad it had happened.
However, they owed Pollux a huge apology. The bathroom had a new scorch mark on the wall beside the mirror. The kitchen floor was probably soaked from when their passions spilled out of the bathroom before they had finished drying — not that they bothered to try doing so. Finally, the frame of the couch they were currently lying on was broken in at least two places.
On top of that, Pollux was probably going to want a new couch for sanitary reasons.
"I am so sorry." Whiskers groaned. She glanced up at him and let out an amused huff while he rubbed his face with the one hand that wasn't wrapped over her shoulders. He probably felt guilty for acting like a teenage guy, even if Thalia wasn't exactly complaining about that behavior. She'd needed that sort of release much more than she realized.
Still, she should do her part as a dutiful girlfriend to make him feel better. Emotionally, that is.
"Oh, yes," she said, cracking a smirk. "It was so horrible that you debased yourself to the point of having wild, animalistic sex with me. Five times, by the way."
"I-Five? Huh, it didn't feel lik—No, I-! That's not what I meant." Whiskers blushed and it was all she could do to not break out into gigg-chuckles – Thalia didn't giggle, she chuckled – at the sight. Audible discrepancy aside, she knew her mirth was visible on her face, which was why he averted his gaze. "I, um, I didn't mean for it to go that far."
"Do you hear me complaining?" Thalia asked as she nuzzled her head into the crook of his neck and indulged in his musky scent. Because she was not. Complaining, that is. The marathon of fun that just ended five minutes ago was already going in her Top Three list. Though it was tied in second with their sober first time, both were still behind the semi-coherent memory she had of their drunken tryst on New Years'. That was still holding strong at number one.
"No." Whiskers grumbled, tightening his other arm over her shoulders. He sounded so conflicted, and while Thalia sympathized, she was not in the mood to deal with another of his broody moments. She was more interested to continue indulging their mutual distraction of their problems.
Gently, she moved her left leg, still half wound around his lower half, until her knee brushed against him. He let out a strangled growl and Thalia felt her blood start to race. Her lips pulled into a smile when his chest rumbled. Gods, the shiver that went up her spine from that sound.
"Tree Girl–" Thalia gave him an innocent smile and moved her leg again. Another low rumble made her smile grow even wider. He'd break soon and the past hour would start all over again. Then, as if aware of her clever plan, his hand shot down and grabbed her leg to stop her fun. He glowered at her, but the intended effect was ruined by his reddened cheeks. "Thalia. No."
"See, you say that, but that's not what you're thinking."
"I mean it."
"You might." Thalia conceded, but smiled as she felt his biological desire express itself. Talk about empowering. All she had to do was touch him the right way. Just one more subtle push and–
"Almighty Libido."
Just like that, any and all desire that might have been in her body rushed right out the door. There wasn't even a goodbye. Pretty sure the door was left ajar, too! Rude.
"Ugh." The grimace on her face was audible, she knew it. She closed her eyes and thumped her head against his collarbone. "Did you have to say that?"
"Gran-Gran and Minato could come back at any second." Whiskers deadpanned. Hm, the mention of his family was almost as bad, if not worse, than the mood-killing words he'd uttered not a second earlier.
"Okay, fine. You've made your point." Thalia sighed, somewhat dismayed. She tried to ignore the little voice in her head demanding she press on. That she could forget his warning and continue being worshiped by her boyfriend; being reminded how much he wanted her, desired her, and she could do the same to him.
Thalia groaned as the heat coursing through her body almost reached the tipping point. She was not ruled by her lust like her sire! She just had an... itch, is all.
"You know, if she wasn't going to come back, and we weren't in Pollux's apartment–"
"Don't–Don't talk right now, Whiskers." Thalia sighed. She took hold of the hand that was on her leg and pulled it up to intertwine it with her own. Her lips pressed against the back of his knuckles. She opened her eyes and stared at him, her gaze lidded. "You...are dangerous."
"What is that–"
"I just said don't talk."
Whiskers continued to stare at her with his stupid too kissible face and his deep blue eyes that captivated her not minutes prior with their smouldering hunger. The embers that had once been snuffed out by the mention of her sire's worst trait and the potential for interruption started up again when his other hand started to gently stroke her side. She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from commenting on it and starting a fight. He was just trying to console her, not rile her up. While it was welcomed if he did either, he had better be willing to continue the carnal dance if it was meant to be an intimate gesture!
It was so unfair how quickly the tables had been turned on her. As much as she knew of societal norms, Thalia was pretty sure she wasn't supposed to be the one being blue-balled. She blamed Zeus, and his stupid whatever-it-was that passed down to her along with a good portion of his Almighty Libido.
"...So…"
"You're terrible at listening to instructions." Thalia grumbled, trying to etch the look of his post-coitus face into her memory. He ruined it when he rolled his eyes before he stared at her flatly.
"Clothes. We need them."
"Fiiine. Be lame. My underwear is behind you, by the way."
Whiskers tugged his hand, then arched a brow at her when her grip tightened.
"Thalia."
"I really don't want to move yet."
"That's not what you were saying five seconds ago."
"That's a different kind of moving. Besides, you did most of the walking."
Gods, that was hot. Thalia hadn't known her boyfriend was that strong. Sure, he'd carried her before, but that wasn't in the midst of a nocturnal activity usually regulated to perform in a bed. And without breaking stride, too.
Gah, her mental facilities were heading back to the lewd hole! C'mon, girl, don't be the daughter of Zeus right now! Stay out of the hole!
My, my, my...Already venturing to experimental territories, are we? I'm so proud of you.
Thalia froze, her grip on her boyfriend's hand going slack and allowing Whiskers to get up from the couch. He mumbled something, but it went unnoticed. Her mind was hyperfocused on the voice she'd not heard from in months. A mercy, she'd thought at the time. Damn near a blessing.
No...
Yes.
No. No. No!
Oui, oui, oui! Aphrodite, the damn voyeur, had the gall to titter. Oh, it's been so long, Thalia. I missed you, too.
Go away. Please? Please. Thalia begged. She did not need to have a mental hash-out with a goddess after she and her boyfriend just had a sex marathon! Thalia quickly clamped down on that line of thought and hid it away. She covered it with a frustrated inquiry: Aren't you supposed to bother me when I'm eating a burger or something?!
Oh, that was just unfortunate timing on your end, dear. The Lady of Doves openly laughed. Now, I figure you're overdue for a fair warning, sodomy is uncomfortable the first time. Be liberal with your use of lubricant and don't hesitate to start small. A well prepared finger, or even a–
Stop. Thalia grimaced and rubbed her face. Stop talking.
Fine, don't take my advice. Aphrodite huffed. Find out on your own. Trial and error is not fun.
That's not–Could you give me, like, five minutes?!
Why? We're just catching up.
"Here."
"Thanks, Whiskers." Thalia mumbled, caught her tossed bra from her boyfriend and put it, as well as her previously returned underwear, on.
Those are cute–Wait a second. Aphrodite gasped. Thalia!
Oh, no, it was the worst case scenario.
Did I just miss the show? Ugh, and here I thought making a trip over to Barcelona to meet with Carlos for a quickie was a brilliant move!
Code Red! Alert! Say something, anything!
No! W-We just, uh, took a nap! Nice work, brain. That wasn't a Kelp Head worthy lie at all.
"Thalia, did you see where my boxers went?" Whiskers called from around the corner.
"Did you check the shower?"
"Why would I have taken them into the shower?"
"We weren't exactly thinking with our brains, Whiskers." Thalia couldn't keep the heat from her face as she thought about that particular moment. Her boyfriend had such talented fingers…She didn't remember that there was a third party paying attention until the goddess spoke up again.
My goodness! Aphrodite breathed. Thalia heard the telltale sound of a fan snapping open. Starting off in the shower?! How on Earth did you wind up on the couch?
The sound of a slick squeak followed by a thump made Thalia look toward the kitchen. Her boyfriend's cry had her get up from the couch: "Sonova–!"
"You okay?" Thalia asked, rounding the corner and heading for the bathroom.
Oh, yes. Let me get a look at the hunk au naturale.
A possessive part of her refused to give the goddess that pleasure. Thalia stopped in her tracks and a growl radiated from her person.
Mine.
There is nothing wrong with showing off, Thalia.
Well, with an argument like that, how else should a mature and responsible young woman respond? Ah, yes.
Double down.
Mine.
Ugh! This is the thanks I get with all the help I've given you? Rude.
"Yeah, the only thing that I hurt was my dignity." Whiskers groaned. He walked out of the bathroom, wearing only a pair of jeans. A wet article of cloth was in his hand. "Found my boxers."
"Were they in the shower?" Thalia asked, smirking. Her eyes flicked down to his waistline, then back up to the boxers in his hand. A beat passed before she felt a familiar warmth surge through her body. "Going commando, huh?"
I'll enroll in his boot camp. Aphrodite tittered. Thalia fought back the scowl on her face.
He'd actually make you work for it. She sneered back, keeping her smirk in place as she stared at her fidgeting boyfriend.
"...Shut up." He grumbled, tossing the soaked boxers into the sink. She'd tease him about it more if not for the voyeur tagging along. Then he went for the bedroom she'd stormed to after Leto showed up.
Wait, Leto is there? As in, the Sniffer's and Apollo's mother? ...I'm impressed, Thalia Grace, the Goddess of Love said. Being so bold as to do the dirty deed in front of a family-oriented deity.
We did not, I am not and go away!
"Can you grab me a shirt from my bag?" She asked as she looked for her pants in the bathroom. She winced when she saw the floor. It was absolutely flooded, no wonder Whiskers slipped.
"Sure."
I'm only here for gossip, don't fret! You act like I'm your worst nightmare. I thought we were gal pals?
We're so utterly not, though, is the thing. Thalia sent back once she found her pants hooked over the top of the shower curtain railing. She pulled them down, stepped out of the bathroom and back to a dry portion of the apartment: the living room.
Oh, how did those get up there? Deets!
No. Thalia huffed as she dressed again.
Ugh, it's like you're Hephaestus. An immortal mood killer.
You kind of brought that on yourself when you cheated on him. Thalia shot back, relishing in the affronted scoff the goddess let out.
Well if you're going to be like that, I've got more important people to do! Aphrodite harrumphed. The goddess' presence left her mind and Thalia felt a weight rise off of her shoulders.
Shaking her head in relief, she went back to getting her pants on. She'd only just snapped the button of her jeans in place when the front door's knob jiggled and then turned. The lock prevented it, before the knob jiggled again. A tingle in the back of Thalia's head made her frown. She was not prepared for a break-in, and knowing that, scrambled for the bedroom. She almost bowled over her boyfriend in the process.
Whiskers, now wearing the orange Sunkist shirt he bought a while ago, caught her before she could and held one of her shirts up. Motörhead's Ace of Spades emblem was brandished across the chest.
"I was just–"
"Give me that!" Thalia snatched the shirt and pulled it on. As she did, she started to tell him why she had run like a bat out of hell, only for her voice to get muffled. Once her head poked out of the top, she started looking for her mace canister. "Someone's breaking in!"
"...Right." Whiskers snorted. He crossed his arms. "Someone's breaking into Pollux's apartment."
"Whiskers, I wouldn't be pulling your leg on this!"
"You do know that Pollux could just be home earlier than expected, right?"
"Whiskers, just trust me, okay? It's a demigod thing."
"Okay, okay." Whiskers held his hands up. "I'll trust you on this, but–" He stopped mid-sentence and his nostrils flared as they did whenever he caught a whiff of something. He stepped toward the bedroom doorway, brows furrowed, then went still. A soft creak caught her ears, and likely his, before his lip curled. "You're right."
"Of course I am." Thalia huffed quietly. Curiosity got the best of her. "But, how do you–?
"I don't recognize the scent," he snarled. He was moving for the living room before she could stop him. She swore and crept out after him. Whiskers was still in dire need of his medication, his thought process was hindered. How did Thalia know this? Well, aside from the fact that it was her boyfriend she was worried about, it was because he shouted: "Hey! What the Hel do you think you're doing?!"
The gunshot that followed dashed any thoughts of stealth from her mind, and Thalia burst into a run.
AN: Well...that was a wild wedding. My regards went to the Bride and Bride. Shame about that sheep, though.
Anyway, I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.