Disclaimer: Don't own PJO or the Whiskered Warrior.
Lunar Phases
Blood Moon
Vampirism.
Surprisingly, the word refers to the action or practices of a Vampire, rather than the disease itself. Sustaining the life of the undead with the life-force of another counts as such an act. Sleeping in a coffin all day and being active at night could be considered another. Even the simple act of biting down and sucking on a lover's neck could be considered an act of vampirism. The only thing protecting that last one from becoming a rule of thumb was Aphrodite and other love deities staunch defenses of 'hickies'. The bruise was considered a mark of romance, a rite of passage, and a claim on a lover. A damaged patch of skin used to identify a target, yes, but it could certainly be a sign one had become a victim to The Bloodsuckers.
Feb 2nd, 2009
So, what do you think the chances are that these meatsacks will try this again a third time? The Fox asked.
"I'm not going to lie, I'm more than a little disappointed that this strategy has worked so well twice in a row. I think a third would be pushing it." Naruto murmured as he processed the memories of his shadow clones. He looked up at the strung up mercenary that he had dealt with via 'pack tactics'. The woman, Rodriguez, was caught in a snare trap of his own making, and bound by the very strap she'd carried her now dismantled rifle with. A dark pair of bruises were forming on her face, courtesy of a few overzealous punches his replicas had dealt. Depending on how she responded to his questioning, he'd apologize to her after he finished his interrogation.
The memories of the clones that had just dispelled showed that most of this batch of mercenaries had been dealt with. The last group had been stubborn and refused to budge an inch during his bout of questioning. Once he wrangled the rest of this squad up, he was going to find out who was funding them and why they had targeted his girlfriend–
Whoa, that's a lot of Negative Intent coming from the southwest. The Fox mused. The rattling of a mortal's automatic weapon supported its thoughts. Side note, the clones' memories of their deaths were slightly muted, but vivid.
Ugh, great. I feel like I just got shot. Again. Naruto grimaced and held his chest where his clone had been hit. He would not be telling Thalia about the downside effect of this technique if he could help it. It would just needlessly worry her. He shunted the strange feeling off and turned in the direction of where that sentry had been stationed.
From the brush emerged a rather disfigured man, part of his face looked like it had been in a fire. There was a wild gleam in his eye and he was in the midst of reloading his automatic rifle. To put it bluntly, this mercenary looked like a rabid G.I. Joe that had been under the sun and a microscope.
"You!" He snarled. Naruto held his gaze coolly.
Friend of yours? The Fox asked.
"We both know that I have no idea who you are," The blond said, answering The Fox's inquiry and addressing the soon-to-be-dead mercenary. What? Naruto didn't trust sellswords not to stab him in the back. Or in the front. Or his kidney.
Point is, Naruto didn't trust mercenaries.
"Philadelphia. 2000." The rabid G.I. Joe growled. Like that meant anything. Naruto kept staring. This must have prompted the man to continue, which he did as he pointed a finger at his burn scar. "You pushed my face into a fire after killing two other cops!"
"Oh." Right, that night. The night he left Philly. "You."
"Yes. Me."
...You have no idea what his name is do you? The Fox deadpanned.
Nope. Not a clue. Naruto didn't make it a point to remember names of the people that pissed him off. The list would be way too long. He didn't find it important.
"Yeah, I see the recognition in your eyes. I was the lucky one. Only took six months of physical therapy for me to get back on my feet just to get tossed in prison!"
"Well, killing kids for a crime lord will do that. Seems like your friends got lucky."
"They all died! You killed them!"
"Like I said, your friends got lucky." Naruto reiterated as he calmly palmed a crescent shuriken.
"I'm going to Good Will Hunt your preternatural ass." The former felon pulled the slide on his rifle.
"Preternatural." Naruto hummed at the word. It implied the same thing as supernatural, but had a more academic understanding of the world behind it. "You know that that wasn't a hunting movie, right?"
"You litt–I've waited a decade for this!" The crooked cop lifted his rifle and took aim. "I'm going to mail you back to your parents in pieces!"
"That would be intimidating, if you were, y'know, intimidating." Naruto deadpanned. The man's good eye flared with indignant rage, which gave the blond all the time he needed to drop low and whip the palmed shuriken at his knee. The gunfire still deafened him – enhanced senses, for the loss! – but he now had more time to pull his axe from its concealed form. Keeping himself low, Naruto rushed at the mortal that had yet to register the bladed weapon embedded in his left knee.
"AAAARRGGHH!" The ex-cop cried out and dropped to his good knee to cradle the bad one. Shame that good knee couldn't hold all of his weight. He registered the injury almost a second too late, and Naruto was upon him. His axe's blade dug into dirt and the grip pressed into the man's throat. A boot stomped onto the embedded shuriken, eliciting another yell of anguish. The rifle was ripped from the mercenary's grasp and chucked into the woods.
A right across the jaw caught him off guard, but Naruto retained control of the situation. He caught the next attempted swing and stabbed the hand with another shuriken, then bent the arm back to plant the impaled hand into the ground.
"I'd gloat over this, but you honestly aren't worth my time." Naruto said as he punched the man in the face hard enough to shatter cartilage and perhaps make him swallow teeth. He grabbed the sorry victim's other hand and impaled that with a third shuriken, again pinning it to the ground. Satisfied with his work, Naruto removed his axe and stood.
"You little bastard!" The man spat at him, mouth full of blood. He twisted and craned his neck up to meet Naruto's gaze. "You think you're hot shit because your whore mother f(%*& some glorified spoiled brat!? F*&% you! F&%* you and all your f&%* friends like you!"
…Well, he's only half-wrong about your mother. The Fox mused.
"We really need to talk about your issues with my birth mother." Naruto mumbled, as he put that on his list of things to address. He narrowed his eyes at the mercenary and knelt back down to grab his collar. "I'll only ask once: Who sent you after Thalia Grace?"
"F*%& you."
"Wrong answer." Naruto dropped him and flipped his axe around. He propped up the man's good knee and swung. The crack of celestial metal against mortal flesh rang out almost as loudly as the man's anguished wail. Naruto eyed the Bone Steel and noted its effectiveness against mortals. It really doesn't discriminate against 'inferior' beings, good to know.
"You little &%$%! I ain't telling you nothing!"
"Alright. Hope you enjoy bleeding out. Last group sent out after us took a good hour or two before they begged for me to finish them off." Naruto drawled as he rested his axe on his shoulder. He kept a cool gaze locked with the man's frantic and hate filled one. "You aren't leaving here alive, pal. Question is, are you going to suffer first, or pass peacefully?"
Damn, I love being sealed inside you sometimes, Boy. You're crazy and dumb, but fun. The Fox chuckled.
"...Fine! The Beast sent us! It was The Beast!"
"The Beast?" Naruto snorted. He lowered his axe back down to his side and primed the man's ankle to get a 'Misery' treatment. "Okay, first Kingpin, now The Beast. Your choice in employers hasn't really improved, has it?"
"F&% you!"
"I dread the story of how you attained the rank of police sergeant." Naruto surmised but spun his axe in his hand. He rested the blunt side against the man's ankle. "Let's see how well that attitude lasts."
"You motherf*%$! Grace is a dead bitch! The &%$ do you care?! Because your mother is a &*&% &%*%!?"
...Wow, I don't think I've ever been so offended on behalf of someone else before. This idiot needs to leave a message with his death. The Fox advised.
"...Yeah, yeah he does." Naruto nodded slowly. He pulled his axe away from the man's ankle and put it up to his ear, where it reverted to its clasp form. He reached at the man's waist and pulled out the large knife that rested there. A swift series of cuts at the straps removed the man's protective gear and then more slices were made to remove his shirt.
"...Ugghh…"
Ooh, and now we have a witness! Well, if she isn't too blinded by the black eyes you left her.
"The clones did that." Naruto dismissed the accusation. He unpinned one of the mercenary's arms and flipped him onto his stomach. The bone of the other arm snapped through the skin and the man cried out in anguish. A pommel blow to the back of the head left him unconscious and allowed Naruto to work undeterred.
"E-Eh?" Rodriguez groaned. "H-Hey...Kid? Wh...Where...Wh-oh, oh damn. Is-is that Burns?"
"If that's what you called him," Naruto said. He glanced at her over his shoulder and pointed the knife at her. "I don't know who keeps sending you out to supply the Titans or come after Thalia Grace, but you're going to tell them what'll happen to them if this keeps up."
"...What? Y-You going to kill them?"
"Only if I need to." Naruto answered. He turned back to look down at his victim's, "Burns'", back. "It won't be quick. It won't be gentle. They will suffer. And when they die, it will start again."
"What?" Rodriguez's bleary gaze was accompanied by blinks. She couldn't see? Fine. Naruto would explain.
"The Blood Eagle." He began, stabbing the knife into Burns' spine. The man let out a guttural groan, but otherwise didn't react. "Was an execution method made famous by vikings in several survivng poems. Some debate by modern scholars was had over its authenticity in the Edda, rather for its purpose. But as one who has strode the branches of Yggdrasil, I can say with certainty, it was a ritual. A ritual required to impose a curse upon its victim."
"Cu-curse?"
"Whoever was sacrificed by Blood Eagle would find themselves in Hel, to be judged by the very creature that inspired its namesake." Naruto tossed the knife aside and peeled back the flesh. He grabbed the ribs and started to pull them away. Sharp cracks echoed in the wood. "If found worthy prey, it would consume the soul of the damned and end their suffering so as not to be used by Hel in Ragnarök."
"A-And if not?"
"It is called Hel for a reason." Naruto grunted as he pried the ribcage apart. Once that was finished, he grabbed a lung that slowly expanded. It was like handling a heavy and soaked sponge, only much squishier. "For those deemed unworthy, they are given to Hel's Hound. Garmr."
A howl echoed in the air and Naruto stopped. That... wasn't a regular wolf's howl. It sounded bigger. Stronger. But at the same time, it was...it was missing something.
Worry about it later. Focus on what you're doing. You still have to get the rest of the mercenaries. The Fox reminded him.
"Right." Naruto pulled the lung out to rest atop Burns' arm, and then started the same ritualistic debauchery on the other side of the chest. "So...Rodriguez, right?"
"...Wh-what are you?"
"Me? I'm just a guy that's very. Very." Naruto struggled with the last rib before it snapped. He finished the ritual and stood from the body. "Pissed off." He wiped some of the gunk off of his hands with the remains of the mercenary's shirt before he turned to Rodriguez and pointed his thumb at the wheezing 'Burns'. "And I do that to try and fix it. Weirdly enough, I don't think it's working."
He hardened his glare, stepped up to her, leaned in close and whispered in her ear.
"Maybe I should try again."
"...What do you...what do you want to know?" Rodriguez whispered back. Naruto pulled back and stared into her swollen eyes.
"Who or What is The Beast?"
Within the cabin Leto had made for them, Minato poured over the various things that he'd sealed away on his person as Arashi. So many texts and literature on war, combat and Greek Myths. You'd think he'd have planned to open a library or something. Across the dining table, looking over her GED text with a cup of Leto's tea beside her was Thalia Grace. She had been brought to the cabin to alleviate her cooped up feelings while Naruto dealt with the mortals that were after her. They, more so Minato than Naruto, decided it was best to deal with the mortals before alerting Thalia to their existence.
So, here she was, studying with the occasional aid from Leto, while Minato tried, and failed, to find anything about eastern myth and lore that he carried on his person. He wouldn't have minded helping his son's girlfriend study, given he was quite the academic in his early life, he tried to give her space considering their past. That, and he was still on a deadline. Only a couple of days remained before Zeus would come after his life.
The cabin door opened, but Minato registered his son's chakra signature before it had gotten within a hundred feet of the cabin. Passive sensory abilities for the win!
"Where the heck have you been, Whiskers?" Thalia asked, a little crossly. Minato anticipated an argument in the future.
"Hunting." Naruto held up a bundle of rabbits and glanced toward the kitchenette where Leto was dicing vegetables. "Gran-Gran, I got dinner for later."
"Just set it on the counter, I'll treat them in a second."
"Anything worth talking about?" Minato asked. He was referring to the mortals.
"Meh." And of course Naruto brushed his concern off. As if Minato didn't taste the bloodlust wafting in the air around him. He took his small warren to Leto to be prepared for dinner. "Most of the game in the area are holed up for the season."
"Well, spring is still a few weeks out."
"You couldn't scrounge up any venison?" Thalia frowned.
"Sorry, Tree Girl." Naruto shrugged. "Nothing I could find. Rabbit stew tonight."
"Stew's fine."
"But you'd prefer deer burgers."
"Don't make me sound weird."
"Your father is a god, your birther–" Goodness, Minato needed to get used to his son's and his son's girlfriend's bizarre terminology. "–was a silver-screen starlet. Your best friend was six when you were twelve, but last year you were the same age for all of a minute. You've fought and beaten monsters that came out of Greek Mythology. Face it, you're weird, Tree Girl."
"...Only when you put it that way." Thalia grumbled. Naruto snorted and leaned back in his seat. He crossed his arms and closed his eyes, missing the way Thalia sent a halfhearted glare at him. Minato could tell without any sort of foresight or divine boon that their eventual marriage would be a happy one.
Kushina would've loved her. Minato sighed ruefully. He tried not to think about her too often, but it was hard. She was his other half, his better half. Without her wild and spontaneous presence, he felt...incomplete. Being Hokage? Yeah, he could move on from that without issue. Losing his wife? Oomph.
"Any luck?" Naruto asked, this time directed at him. Minato pulled a few notes aside and flipped through them.
"Not much." He admitted. His focus had been on Greco-Roman mythology when he initially made his search, and now with his deification, he'd gotten sidelined by visions and memories of battles long passed. One such conflict that often came up to mess with his mind's eye was the current global debacle between a terrorist organization and the United States of America. Even now, he could feel the soldiers on either side inadvertently call to a sliver of his power as they sought spiritual or mental aid.
"Alright, anything from Annabeth?" Naruto turned his attention back to Thalia. She huffed and stuffed a mark in her study guide before she closed the book. Once set aside, there was a sheet of paper that she slid to the boy.
"One cheat sheet on 'How to Kill Chinese Vampires', courtesy of Annabeth Chase. She also wants us to stay out of trouble for three seconds so she doesn't go gray. Apparently, the Kelp Head does that enough for her." Thalia huffed in amusement. Naruto returned it with one of his own as he read over the paper. His brow furrowed.
"…The cry of a rooster?"
"Annie's the one that made the list, she didn't have enough time to elaborate before her next war council meeting."
Minato was suddenly struck with a sense of whiplash as his mind's eye flew to view the council in question, only to be rebuffed by a pair of annoyed purple orbs. He'd have to send that god something nice later to atone for his slip up, but before that, he had to get context for Thalia's words.
"Excuse me, what?" he asked.
"As they'd been countless times before, the demigods are to be the footsoldiers in Olympus' war with The Titans." Leto elaborated, bless her. She finished treating Naruto's haul of rabbit and dumped the meat into a pot set over a small burner. Already the cabin's interior smelled heavenly, though the air within was grim with tension.
"And its being led by teenagers?" Minato frowned. To a former military commander, he was a little torn on the prospect. One one hand, the children of demigods were indeed powerful and trained, but on the other hand, they were still children.
"Were your people not the ones who raised child soldiers, enrolled them into schools and drafted them out of graduation?" Leto shot back, without a lick of heat to her words. Minato conceded to that with a dip of his head. His world wasn't perfect, no world was, but it was the culture he knew and had wanted to change before he came to this world. He looked back at his son, who was scrutinizing the paper before him.
"'Reliance on talismans'.. 'adherence to honorable duels'.." Naruto drummed his fingers on the table when his eyes lit up. "That could actually work..Minato?"
"Yes?" Minato met his son's curious stare. The boy hesitated and he felt a twinge of anticipation, before that was overwhelmed by excitement with his son's next request.
"How fast can you make a seal?"
"It depends on the purpose of it." Minato interlaced his hands in front of him and not so subtly leaned forward. He could feel his mind race as various formulas he may have to rely on and the types of ink he was pretty sure he could make should he need them. "Anything specific?"
"How about an anti-vampire doodle?" Thalia suggested, smirking as she turned the page in her book. Minato knew she was joking, but he considered it seriously. Ultimately, he shook his head.
"Without knowing the properties of this strand of vampirism that affects its chakra, it's guesswork at best."
"Not ideal." Naruto muttered. He cupped his chin and looked down at the paper before him, deep in thought. "Are there any limitations to seals?"
"Theoretically, no. Practically, I couldn't say." Minato shrugged. He was considered a master in the art, true, but even some of the things that his wife and her clan devised were beyond his comprehension. "Did you have anything specific in mind?"
"Well, what if we made a seal that could..?" As he laid out his plan, Naruto proved that despite being raised by a goddess, her twin, and taught by other pantheons, he was still Kushina's son.
The Uchiha waited until the sun had fallen behind the mountain before it made itself known to the Yankee. The stench of the Tian was thick in the area, but if the Uchiha played this right, it wouldn't have to worry about the fledgling Interloper. A spirit had warned it that the Interloper was teaching the Yankee how to utilize chakra, but The Uchiha didn't care. The Yankee would die by its sword, godly assistance or no.
"Yankee!" It called as it skipped through the wood. The last of its blood supply had been downed for this confrontation. The blood moon had begun its climb into the night sky. The Uchiha was at full power, it would end this mockery of a chase tonight. "Oh, Yankee~! Come out and play-ay!"
It caught a flash of silver out of the corner of its eye, and spun on the ball of its foot. Its sword crackled with unshed electricity and it lashed out at the distinct color it had spotted. Its cursed eyes spun as it sought another glimmer, the devastated foliage that followed in the wake of its attack no longer its concern. Again, from the corner of its eye, a flash of silver.
"Just hold still, Yankee!" The Uchiha snarled and scorched another small patch of the mountain from the face of the earth, the blade of Chidori unyielding to anything in its path. A spirit of wind rushed up into its face and hissed at it, an order, a demand, from its employer. The Uchiha grabbed the spirit and bared its fangs. "Tell her that if she wants to complain about my methods, she can do so to my face! If all you are going to be is a nuisance, then be gone!"
"Took the words right out of my mouth."
The Uchiha turned and used the spirit in its grasp to absorb the blow from The Yankee's axe. It hissed as its fingers were sliced along with the spirit. The Uchiha's counter was halted by a modified gardening tool, a tri-pronged spade. Red pinwheeling eyes glared at the cool blue of its prey, which pointedly avoided making contact. Mildly annoying, but not unsurprising.
"So eager to die, Yankee?"
"Not really," The Yankee said in turn. They pushed off one another and stared each other down. Slowly, they began a cautious circling, instigated by the mortal of course. The Yankee's lips curled in a sneer, almost a snarl. "I was going to call you out to finish this, but you beat me to the punch."
"You're an idiot," The Uchiha sneered back. "There is a Blood Moon tonight, mortal. You throw yourself into battles that don't concern you, against beings that are your betters, and for what? Prestige? Fortune? Women?"
"You clearly haven't done your homework on me," The Yankee scoffed. Time slowed to a crawl, a shadow betrayed the faint movement of his wrist, and The Uchiha easily deflected the shuriken barrage that followed.
"You are a mortal worm, deluded by the false promises of your equally delusional 'family' of gods." The Uchiha spat. Its chakra molded and danced up the sword in the form of lightning. "I end this contract tonight, and your visage will haunt me no longer."
"..Haunt you—Look, psycho, we've met like maybe three times." The Yankee huffed. "But if you want to end this tonight, fine by me."
"As I said, eager to die." The Uchiha sneered. It raised its sword. "I shall smite you with your beloved king's power."
"You could do that," The Yankee said, conceding defeat already? Something was clearly wrong here. The Uchiha waited. "And after I dodge it—"
"If," The Uchiha corrected. As if this mortal could dodge one of its strongest and fastest techniques.
"After I dodge it—" The gall of this brat! "I'll have your head severed from your body."
"You think yourself faster than lightning?"
"No." This Yankee was absolutely baffling. "But I never said that I was the real Naruto."
What did that-? Pinwheels spun and revealed the truth to it. Of course. The Uchiha had flashes of doppelgängers in its faint memories of The Yankee, of their life before the current. So, he had rediscovered this, had he? How? The Uchiha would do away with any others that carried the cursed power it had mastered. It must not have any in its path.
"Coward." The Chidori cut off and The Uchiha lowered its sword. "You insult me with your impertinence."
"Good." An exact duplicate of the Yankee emerged from the foliage behind The Uchiha. Or was this the original? The bloodlust in its undead body was growing, but it would not be mastered by such base desires.
"Where are you, Yankee?" The Uchiha demanded. It would not be robbed of its conquest. The duplicate stared at it, before it pointed to its left.
"A kilometer in, there is a clearing. The original is there."
"Baiting a trap?" The Uchiha sneered. The audacity. Acting like The Uchiha was some sort of rabid beast akin to Lycaon! The duplicate shrugged and crossed his arms.
"Guess you'll have to go find out for yourself, won't you?"
"Killing you will be the most satisfying achievement in my Undead life."
"Bring it, paste-face." The duplicate sneered. The other behind him moved and reappeared beside its conjured twin.
"Get going, Skipper. Boss doesn't mind waiting, but we've got more important things to worry about."
Eradicating the two clones with a scalding shot of fire wasn't exactly necessary, but it did alleviate the negative feelings of annoyance and soothed The Uchiha's assaulted pride. With that done, The Uchiha ventured to the aforementioned clearing. As it did, it noticed more and more duplicates of The Yankee on its proverbial tail. Given the flash of memories that had literal mobs of the Yankee within them, The Uchiha wasn't too surprised.
"Ever the same, despite the change in nurture? Unsurprising." The Uchiha huffed
Upon its arrival to the clearing, The Uchiha found The Yankee standing in the center, with his arms crossed and his eyes closed. The Uchiha surveyed the clearing, before it used its eyes to confirm it was its prey and that he was alone. The malice and hatred that radiated from his beasts' seal was unmistakable, and the potency of his previously underdeveloped chakra was apparent.
Furthermore, there was no evidence of divinity in the clearing, either from the fools of the Tian or Greece's barbarians.
"Uchiha." The Yankee greeted with a nod. Blue eyes opened and stared just slightly off center of its own. "I figured you'd be more satisfied ending this on an official note."
The Uchiha honestly didn't care, it was going to kill The Yankee so it could focus on its goals. Primarily exacting vengeance against the immortals that had wronged it, in life, death, and this damned existence that it was now.
"No more games, Yankee. You die tonight."
"I might." The Uchiha bristled at the implied arrogance. "I might not. You could never be sure, unless we made an accord."
"An accord?" The Uchiha repeated. Red eyes narrowed. "Elaborate."
"A duel of honor."
"As if you know what that is."
"Fine." The Yankee put his hands on his hips. "What if I made a Styxian Oath? A vow to Ra? Or would you prefer a blood pact akin to that which those of Asgard favor?"
"You'd risk a blood oath with a vampire?" The Uchiha narrowed its eyes. It was undeniably intrigued by the prospect. That and the base instincts it fought back were enticed by the promise of blood. "Do you even understand what you are saying, Yankee?"
"You're wasting my time, do you want the deal or not?" The Yankee deflected with a sigh as he scratched his head, which implied he likely hadn't a clue what he was offering to it nor was he taking this seriously. Foolish and impertinent, this mortal. The Uchiha bared its fangs with a hiss before it recollected itself. It could use his arrogance against him.
"An honorable duel, you say? To the death?"
"One shall stand, one shall fall. The first to do the latter, loses." The Yankee nodded. The Uchiha pondered the terminology for all of a second before it smirked.
"Agreed." It declared. To its surprise, the ground shone brightly and The Yankee gained a small smirk.
"Thank you for your cooperation, and since you're fighting a mortal 'honorably', do you know what that means?"
"That I could kill you and be done with this?"
"Well, maybe. But there's more to it than that." The Yankee chuckled and let his feet stand a good distance apart. He shook out his shoulders as if loosening up and then raised his arms as if he were to get in a brawl. His small smirk turned feral, hungry and The Uchiha wondered where this predatorial aura came from.
No matter, he would die before it could amount to anything. A simple swing of its sword would pierce the weak enchantment on his clothes, or perhaps it should roast the boy as it had done to his doppelgängers. There were so many options, but it would decide them in the moment. For now, there was a hunt to end. Certain in its victory, The Uchiha took one step forward when its body started to stiffen with rigor mortis.
"Wha..ifh..ha-hen-ning?!" The Uchiha's question garbled when its jaw locked after the first word. Talisman or no, the defect of its vampirism strain should remain at bay due to the blood it had consumed and the moon above it. Now, it felt as if it was suffering from the first sunrise all over again, those many centuries ago.
"Fun fact, immortals have quite the advantage over mortals. One could say that a sneeze from one could eradicate a city. So, the Laws of the Universe we reside in gave mortals like me some handicaps." The Yankee explained. The Uchiha couldn't blink, so it was forced to watch him relax from the readied stance and calmly approach it. "And to an extent, you, as an undead creature, are protected from those same immortals. So, in order to activate the runes that the Tian deity assisting me so generously placed on this battleground, we both had to mutually, vocally agree to a honorable duel."
It was a trap! Damn this mortal! The Uchiha glared as hard as it could, even as the edge of its vision started to turn black.
"In short, U-chi-ha," The Yankee mocked its cursed speech with a snort as soon as he was within arms reach. The Uchiha called upon its chakra, tried to cast anything, anything, from its initial birthright. The mortal remained there, unchanged, unharmed, and unamused. "Your hubris was your downfall. Oh, and that reminds me of the terms we set."
The Yankee dropped out of sight and something swept The Uchiha's feet out from underneath it. It landed with several cracks and breaks, the set bones and withered muscles ruined by that simple maneuver.
"One shall stand, one shall fall." The Yankee glared down at him. Then, he stomped onto The Uchiha's chest, likely caving in the brittle cavity, and leaned in close enough that their faces were inches apart. The whiskers on his face thickened and his cold blue eyes burned a blazing baleful red. "I don't know what happens to you after you're judged in The Tian, and frankly, I don't care. If by some grace of a god you happen to go free and decide to come after my people in retaliation for your loss here? I will erase your existence from the history of our world. Understood?"
The Uchiha only glared. It would not give this child the satisfaction of thinking it had gotten The Uchiha to submit. Blazing red held the Uchiha's hateful gaze for another second before the weight of the mortal rose off of him. He heard the soft steps of The Yankee pad away, and just before his vision went completely dark, he caught the flicker of a golden flash.
"All yours, Minato." Those were the last words The Yankee uttered before The Uchiha was forced into the cold embrace of darkness. The last thought it had, was how it wouldn't let this stand.
I'll be back, Yankee.
Feb 3rd, 2009
"Do all gods like to make people wait, or is this a coincidental thing?" Thalia grumbled as she stood close to Whiskers in an attempt to stay warm. The last day of their time table was at hand and if this Lord Monkey Fist dude was late, they would be the ones punished for it.
By the time the sun rose, their hideaway in Storm King Mountain was cleared out and the cabin Leto had manifested vanished. They'd gathered at the same clearing that Whiskers had fought the Chinese vampire in. Lady Leto hung off to the side, her ability to conceal herself at work, while Thalia opted to meet the infamous god of the Eastern realm, just to get an understanding how different they could be from those she'd met. (Actually, it was because she was extremely curious and hated being left out of the loop, but if she had put it that way, Leto wouldn't have agreed to letting it happen.)
"Oh, its a power play, for sure, Little Thunderer."
Thalia tensed at the new voice that spoke up behind them. She and Whiskers whirled around, weapons at the ready, and a fuzzy-faced man yelped. Minato sighed beside them and stepped forward, before his arms went straight at his sides and he bowed.
"Lord Wukong, I've fulfilled your request." Minato stood upright and crossed his arms. Geez, he and Whiskers looked a lot alike when they were annoyed. "Now if you would please take this…gift back."
"Ah, see, I need proof of purchase—"
There was a plume of smoke and the sound of air displacing before the broken and battered form of the Jiangshi appeared at Minato's feet. Thalia arched a brow and then looked at Whiskers, who pointedly avoided her gaze by keeping his eyes closed and kept his arms crossed. She poked his side and he grunted, but didn't look at her.
"Geez, Whiskers, what'd that thing do to you? ...Aside from stab you in the gut?"
"It blew up my girlfriend's apartment and got me on her father's radar. Again." He huffed, his hands clenched around his arms before they relaxed. Thalia smirked in response and leaned further against him to show her gratitude.
"Well, there's no denying that furious glare." Wukong said after a solid minute of exaggerated gawping. He scratched - not just picked, but scratched - the inside of his nose with his pinky (Ew) and flicked whatever discovery he made at the mangled heap of monster. The Jiangshi vanished in a flash of light and Wukong clapped his hands together, smiling at Minato as he did. "Alright, so, did you want a peach or-?"
"Lord Wukong." Minato huffed in a breath and raked a hand through his hair before he sighed. "I am honored, truly, to have been given this gift from you, but it has caused me nothing but misery and strife for as long as I've had it."
"But you are free?" Wukong tilted his head and rubbed his chin. "Granted, you'd have a lot of responsibilities once you went full deity, but I mean, that's because you'd be my free labor-er, my loyal lieutenant! Yeah, that's what I meant."
Thalia stared at the god incredulously. Was-was he being serious?
"Lord Wukong, please. I don't ask for my own sake." Minato held his hand out and gestured at Whiskers. "My son—"
"Oh-ho!" And like that, Wukong was inches from Thalia, and millimeters from Whiskers' face. "So you're the little troublemaker that we've heard about! Skipping around Time and Space at the whims of sandcrawlers or the Ice-holes, right?"
"..Yes." Whiskers but out, his lip curled as if he were a snarling wolf. Wukong continued to stare at him, a smile on his face before it became a fanged grin.
"Ahh, you found Roachy." He chuckled and leaned back when Whiskers let out a very unnatural growl and his eyes flashed red. The giant monkey laughed again and waved off the sound "Calm your little friend down, kiddo. I won't pry. Yamata no Orochi isn't my problem anymore, so I'll leave it alone."
"The what?" Whiskers frowned. Wukong chuckled.
"Don't worry about it." The god waved him off before he rubbed his chin. "Say, how's about you sign up with your ol' man here to my service? Heck, I'll even grant you permission to bring your side piece along! And maybe visitation rights. It'll be a gas to see that fuddy duddy, bolt-farting blowhard get all riled up about losing one of his brats to the 'Asian Persuasion'!"
Nearby, the familiar pressure of Leto's power - and wasn't that a scary thought? Thalia had only been witness to her power twice and she already recognized it - started to grow. To say that Zeus was not the only temperamental member of the pantheon was an understatement, but Leto was generally more collected and pleasant. Unless Wukong's offer - side note: Whiskers was gaping like a fish out of water, his once crossed arms slack at his sides; Thalia would be sure to tease him about that later - had offended her in some way. Which, given how prone to possessiveness Thalia's pantheon (or at least her understanding of it) was, that was likely the case.
"Er, Lord Wukong-?" Minato tried to interject. Brave guy. Stupid, really, to try and throw himself an oncoming fight between two deities from opposite sides of the world, but brave.
Huh, Thalia thought, Maybe Whiskers got that trait from him after all.
"No, shut up, this is what's happening. You two will be my lieutenants, and—ah, what the heck, I'm feeling generous today." Wukong grinned and pointed at her. "The Little Thunderer can be my secretary!"
"No thanks." "Not happening." Thalia's flat refusal came at the same time as Whiskers' growled rejection. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, and tried to gauge if he was answering for her. Given who his mother was, that was unlikely.
"You two really don't have a say in the matter," Wukong said, almost coyly. Gods above, if all immortals were this smug, Thalia was tempted to swear off helping any of them altogether once the War with the Titans ended.
Thankfully, before Thalia could do anything so drastic, as soon as the monkey's lips parted to speak again, Leto's power was unveiled. Thalia reflexively took hold of Whiskers' hand and he reassured her with a gentle squeeze.
"They may not, but as a representative of the Queen of Olympus, I do." Leto emerged from her concealment with the height of a giant backing her. For an intimidation tactic, it wasn't half-bad.
Wukong was impressed, if his low whistle was anything to go by. Maybe this wasn't going to end violently, for once.
"Blessed by the presence of the titaness Leto, herself." Or, he was going to be a total ass and further piss Lady Leto off. Yep, that sounded about right.
What did I do to deserve this? Thalia wondered with a barely restrained groan. On second thought, I don't want an answer to that.
"Jab and prod at me all you wish, Trickster Devil-" Uh-oh, Wukong's smile fell a little. This really was going to end in a fight between gods, wasn't it? "But you will keep to your word and reclaim the ascension blessing you gave this man."
"Oh, I will, will I? And who's going to make me? You? I'd be more wary of those brats you called children in their prime!" Wukong sneered before he forced a sharp whistle through his teeth. A nimbus cloud emerged beneath his feet and he rose up to hover at Leto's eyesight. "While they and their kin let their skills stagnate and slept around like the lazy sods they are, me and mine have been vigilant."
"Yes, so evident by the way you forced deism on my grandson's sire." Lady Leto all but spat, eyes luminous with rage—likely from the insult aimed at her kids. "You made an arrangement, Monkey. Keep your word, or shall I call upon my King to speak with yours?"
Wukong bristled and bared his teeth, and the weight of the air felt devastatingly heavy. Leto narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. A silent challenge if ever there was one. His tail lashed behind him, betraying his anger, before it went still and the pressure in the air vanished.
"Oh, all right. All right! You called my bluff, happy?" Wukong's lip jutted out as turned away and pouted like a child. Holy $&*¥, the actual whiplash from being able to breathe without issue now was astounding! Thalia almost fell over from the suddenness of it if Whiskers hadn't been helping her stand as she did him.
"Ecstatic!" Lady Leto chirped around a laugh, reaching out to pat his head. Disturbingly, it almost looked like the monkey leaned into it. "Thank you, Sun. I know how hard it is to go against your nature."
"Yeah, yeah. Just send us another peach cobbler from your cooking club." Was he trying to sound nonchalant about this interaction—wait a minute, something more pressing came to mind.
"Beg pardon, but," Minato pointed between the two of them. "Do you two know each other?"
"It's a salacious and steamy tale, one I swore never to speak about in good company." Wukong harrumphed as he dropped from his cloud back to the ground and Lady Leto returned to her normal (but still tall) height. The monkey hooked an arm around Minato's neck and waggled his brow. "But you're not good company, are you? I mean, seeing as you're taking those barbaric mountaineers' side in all this-"
"We will not talk about what interactions may or may not have occurred when you have an arrangement to keep." Leto interjected. She arched a brow at Wukong as he scowled. "Be a good monkey and perform a trick."
"Half tempted to shove a peach in his gut just for that jab, but your point is made." Wukong huffed before he gave Minato a rough pat on the back, enough to make him stumble forward. A bright flash filled the area before Minato dropped to his knees and panted, suddenly drenched in what Thalia hoped was either sweat or water. "There you go, one mortal re-mortalified! And, just because I like ya, I gave you some extra protection from that intrusive whore."
"A-" Minato got back to his feet and took a gulp of air. "A seal?"
"Bit more complex than that, bucko." Wukong chuckled and hopped up to his floating nimbus that trilled upon being mounted. The Monkey King dropped to sit criss-cross applesauce and grinned down at them. "A small blessing, to you and your kin, from one Sage to another. Oh, and I did promise to give you peace of mind, didn't I?"
"Please don't force anything on me." Minato mumbled under his breath, clearly too tired to control the volume of his voice. Wukong howled out a laugh and slapped his knee.
"Oh, I have just the plan for my next prank! It's really going to ruffle some holier-than-thou feathers!" He chuckled before he sobered. "No. You and your boy aren't of this world, that part we've all figured out, but there was another more recent arrival who had perished, and no afterlife has claim to her."
"...Her?" Thalia frowned. Minato stumbled back and his eyes went wide, which almost caused him to fall, while Whiskers sucked in a sharp breath. She focused on the latter. "What? Whiskers, who is he–?"
"I believe, Thalia," Leto interjected softly as she helped Minato steady himself, "That Sun Wukong is referring to Naruto's birth mother."
"Kushina." Minato whispered. "She's alive?"
Wukong smiled.
"Not...exactly."
AN: Finally, right? Ugh, so happy that prick's gone…for now.
Reinspired after a hell of a effing year and change. I hope, HOPE, that I get 35 out before next month.
Thanks for reading.